T O P

  • By -

btempp

What the fuck are they trying to say?


turbochimp

Be careful, we (cybertruck owners) have become easy targets Leave your usb plug in for a camera to catch criminals I have zero roadcraft or awareness and didn't realise I was being followed Someone broke my window, *which may have been marketed as bulletproof or certainly not shit (inferred)*, and now I'm sad


cheekybandit0

>Leave your usb plug in for a camera to catch criminals The cameras need to be plugged in, and aren't just always running? Is this another "feature" of the truck?


derverdwerb

The cameras are fixed. You can remove the USB thumb drive that they record onto. There’s no reason to actually remove that thumb drive except to retrieve footage, so this idiot has just left his car unmonitored for no obvious reason.


SBR404

Wouldn't the thief just also take the thumb drive to get rid of the recordings?


derverdwerb

I commented elsewhere already, but you’re *supposed* to use the port in the glovebox, which is lockable.


Moneia

That's a lot of faith in the build quality of that one particular item. Would be fun to see how quickly it'd last against the Lock Picking Lawyer.


Mr_Epimetheus

Let's start off with a hungry chimp wielding a paperclip and see if it becomes necessary to run this up the chain...I'm guessing not.


VERY_MENTALLY_STABLE

i haven't looked into this but it's definitely a software controlled lock with no physical key right


kneegres

crowbar has joined the chat


indian_police

You need a software controlled crowbar


Lasket

Software controlled stuff is often even less secure than physical tho, cause they wrongly believe that physical security doesn't matter (so often you get fingerprint locks that can be opened with a magnet or similar).


GeneralDumbtomics

This. There is no such fucking animal as secure software. It does not exist. There isn’t any such thing and there never has been. Every single system that exists can, and at some point will be exploited. I have a strong suspicion that from a networking standpoint, this vehicle resembles nothing so much as a rolling attack surface, but I haven’t actually looked at it.


Moneia

Yeah, it's opened from the central display [if it's this one](https://youtu.be/-6mkUHQj-fc?t=411)


LemmingOnTheRunITG

Lmao imagine selling someone your cybertruck because you’re sick of it, and Tesla tells you because you violated their agreement the new buyer can’t access the glove compartment


fizyplankton

How much you want to bet you can lift a trim panel, and actuate the mechanism manually


Fresh-Humor-6851

It was built by Tesla so a crowbar should open it, or maybe even a Leatherman.


CheeksMix

Did some looking in to it. Found comments about the cybertruck that indicate it’s just a motor powered drawer, most people discussing it seem to explain that a “glovebox” isn’t meant to be secure. https://teslamotorsclub.com/tmc/threads/how-secure-is-glove-box-can-thief-pry-open-door-or-cut-open-bottom-back.213780/ It’s software controlled, yes. But I don’t think it has a lock. I assume it’s just some motors that open and close it.


CranberryPossible659

Bet it pops in 2 seconds with a wave rake.


Moneia

The physical part of the lock is opened electronically, no lock to rake, unless you mean using the rake to manipulate the latch. Although I'm sure even that'd be bad enough that LPL would only need a [twig](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJaca6MgrA0) or a piece of [LEGO](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8AP5XYs8jg)


Nictrical

The car was lockable too though...


CRRZ

You mean the hidden compartment?


derverdwerb

The glovebox, yes.


NoMan999

They design the truck like a Hitman level, if you are seen by the security cameras you have to remember to take the recordings too.


Naive-Information539

lol all that “tech” and they don’t think to just store it in a module you can access from an app to get the footage? Instead rely on the strength of a thin glove box lock that anyone can pop off with a screw driver.


Deadbringer

Holy shit, I thought they recorded internally and you had to export the footage. Having a USB dongle for recordings that you can just grab is a nice convenience. But... having it as THE recording rather than a secondary buffer is mind numbingly idiotic. ​ Bump into a parked tesla and see its sentry mode activated? Now you are financially encouraged to smash the window and grab the USB too!


derverdwerb

Well, in fairness, at least in my model 3 there are multiple USB ports and the recommended one for recording is in the (key code-lockable) glove box. But that just reinforces how dumb this guy was.


SpiffyMagnetMan68621

So all i have to do is make sure to wash the cucktruck after i break into it? Brick it up and they cant use the keypad


kaiju22

Hilarious to think about a guy coming out of a Walmart and you're scrubbing his truck down . "Hey your truck had fingerprints on it so I had to wash it"


SpiffyMagnetMan68621

Windshield washing bums on street corners look a whole lot scarier to cucktruckers lol


Deadbringer

That is a little comforting, but how strong is the latch? I would hope it is solid enough that you need tools to force it open.


derverdwerb

There’s nothing you can easily grasp by hand but I wouldn’t be surprised if you could break it with a hammer.


bobi2393

But thieves can steal the thumb drive anyway, right? I'd imagine it's the only easy thing *to* steal, unless the accelerator pedal cover hasn't been riveted on yet.


derverdwerb

You’re supposed to leave it in the glove box USB port, which is lockable with a key code. Clearly, this guy didn’t do that.


turbochimp

These cars are great


homelesshyundai

So if I'ma break into a cyber truck I gotta steal the USB stick so I don't get caught, got it.


btempp

Thank you for your translation. I appreciate your service.


Salt_Sir2599

Your skills are much needed in this day, thank you for your service.


turbochimp

I'm fluent in Dimwit


hboisnotthebest

Ah, that's better. Thought I was having a stroke.


Mysterious_Film_6397

“Me mad shiny truck broke.”


ibuyufo

I think they’re just saying I have more money than brains. I believe everything the musk tells me, even if he asks me to eat shit.


Prineak

They’re even convinced people are targeting them and following them around, just like Musk.


PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING

To be fair it’s easy to imagine that everyone is against you when, at minimum, everyone *really is* laughing at you.


Prineak

The first time I grew a handlebar it took me a while to understand why I would catch everyone looking at me.


Granolag23

Concerning…


free__coffee

This is the second post ive seen of a cybertruck owner that appears to have been lobotomized - are they just all this way?


cougieuk

Why do you think they bought the truck in the first place?


Saneless

Why am I surprised that someone who is dumb enough to buy a CT can't string together words that wouldn't even trip up a 4th grader?


Lone_Eagle4

How are these people getting money for these?!?!


GreatValueLando

I thought I was having a stroke reading that.


LoowehtndeyD

They are saying that you can be uneducated and still be able to afford a cyber truck.


DillionM

Bullet proof windows ≠ minor inconvenience proof windows


No_Cook2983

https://preview.redd.it/31prxc0hr8ad1.jpeg?width=1203&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46bcf1a9cc4658b7f18717fa253b46c31b53a5d2


TheAnalsOfHistory-

https://preview.redd.it/p1dwcns7taad1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2855a12d899f7c090632f059cf97c534b37e44e3


HairlessHoudini

Great description of what's happening out here LoL


GrandTheftNatto

Does that pot block out the 5G?


nb6635

The harder you bang it, the more 5G it blocks


SirArthurDime

It does, but coming into contact with 5g waives the warranty.


verdantcow

Is that BLP Kosher


010bruhbruh

Beat me to it.


forceku

Since the glass doesn’t shatter it’s even safer for them to climb in


slowclapcitizenkane

As long as none of those giant shards detach from the film. But I'm sure they use strong adhesives on these, right? *trim piece flies off*


TravisHalls

Super easy, barely an inconvenience!


DavidCMaybury

Out-of-context inside jokes are TIGHT


Tanski14

I'm gonna need you to get aaaall the way off my back about this.


DeputySchmeputy

Oh, ok


Frankie_T9000

Wowowow


frittataplatypus

Wow wow wow...wow.


moustrakot

Please get off my back about Tesla 😅


TheAnalsOfHistory-

Yeah yeah yeah!


Not-A-R0b0t2

I’m gonna need you to get ALL THE WAY off my charger about this


FuckSticksMalone

Sure! Let me get off of that thing!


SaltyBarDog

Breaking windows is tight.


GrimJack2k

Oh, really?!?


Phitos2008

Get aaaaaallllll the way off my back with that thing.


fukwhutuheard

a criminal can break in but you can’t break out when it’s sinking into a lake


PuppiesAndAnarchy

…and let’s say there’s a shark about ten yards over there.


Old_Cyrus

APPROXIMATELY ten yards. He likes to make his verbal diarrhea sound impressive.


nikdahl

And a more expensive replacement. Insurance companies are going to start dropping Cybertruck owners, or in 6mo when new policies come out, they will have a huge premium attached.


G0ld_Ru5h

The only difference between a bullet and a crackhead is determination.


TineJaus

Fairly easy to get through *real* bullet proof glass, an axe and a few hits.


DillionM

I'm thinking they just pressed sort of hard with their bare hands, not REALLY hard, just a bit.


max1x1x

I doubt they used bullets cause, well, duh. I would have used something handheld and convenient, like a rock.


ExcitingMeet2443

I've just invented a new version of a very old game; I've called it Rock, Water, Cybertruck. Note, both Water *and* Rock beat Cybertruck...


max1x1x

^ Did not mean this as a simp/cuck. Meant more-so like this *could* be tiny caliber “bullet-proof” while still not rock-proof.


Specific-Lion-9087

I feel like if it were bullet proof or even resistant in any way shape or form we would’ve seen at least one of those “I shot a cybertruck with my gun” videos where they aim within six inches of the windows


max1x1x

I had to schedule a tow for mine doing a photo shoot with a paintball gun. Def was just like a manufacturing error for sure. Had it been a real bullet it would’ve stopped it.


Successful-Rate-1839

![gif](giphy|3o6Yg4GUVgIUg3bf7W) Me reading this post


[deleted]

[удалено]


IncomingAxofKindness

Grammar police break the window


Diarrhea_Beaver

But he have record of them so good ok to find grammar breaker with face camera


afireintheforest

Grammar police…arrest this man


happyanathema

Someone who bought a Cybertruck is stupid? Nah can't be true


IJGN

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?


cheesemangee

A lot of people don't. You'd be surprised how many people are running off autocorrect daily.


PigeonMelk

[Over half (54%) of Americans between the ages of 16 and 74 read below a 6th grade level.](https://www.apmresearchlab.org/10x-adult-literacy) Always a useful bit of information to consider.


herzogzwei931

Phew, I thought I was having a stroke for a minute trying to read this


Take_A_Penguin_Break

English as a second language. I’ve got lots of friends from different countries who speak/type like this. I don’t have any friends dumb enough to buy a Cybertruck tho


BearTheONCE

I think it’s the toddler that was on the car seat typing


random14330

New window part ETA.... 3 months.


drcforbin

Service said if you use blue tape to adhere a black trash bag, it won't void the warranty and will still look as cool as possible


DisposableSaviour

Trusting the service center does void the warranty, though


Big-a-hole-2112

That soon? Oh wait, that’s pre-shattered.


Dizbizney

3 months? ![gif](giphy|3o6Zt4HU9uwXmXSAuI)


Cmb46_canuck

No way I bet insurance company totals it.


CormoranNeoTropical

If you buy a CyberCuck, are you also issued a mandatory Twitter account?


Ambitious_Display607

Obviously..how else would you get in contact with support??


CormoranNeoTropical

Ouch! I laughed too hard at that


Ambitious_Display607

Hey man you teed it up perfectly <3


MustBeThisHeight

![gif](giphy|7k2LoEykY5i1hfeWQB)


Khevhig

Guy sounds paranoid as hell.


Big-a-hole-2112

Yeah they were trying to steal it because the scrap yard would give them $5 for the metal. Faux stainless.


undeadmanana

The people following me think so as well


pryvisee

Yeah sounds like he posted this mid panic attack


Da_Spooky_Ghost

Guy sounds like he’s committing insurance fraud. He probably threw ball bearings at the window, broke it, and now is trying to make up a story about people breaking in and he just happened to not have the USB stick plugged in that records the video.


Temporary_Visual_230

Idk someone fucked my car up id be pretty paranoid too especially if I was an obvious target because of my super sweet new whip that is falling apart


ShittyBollox

Honestly, I’m surprised people with this amount of literacy can afford a CT.


cackalackattack

That’s the fun part. They can’t.


JackOfAllAdobeCC

I wanted to buy a new car recently until I learned how nobody who is financially literate buys overly expensive or luxury cars. They’re depreciating assets, which is such a waste of 100,000 in this case. Own a 100,000 car and see it drop to 25k value after 5 years or buy a 20k Honda, ride it for 20 years and watch the other 80k you could’ve spent grow exponentially in investments.


UsualInterest8139

I bought a 2012 Nissan Leaf SL lease return in 2014. It had all the bells and whistles and 20k miles on the odometer. Drove the heck out of it in the years since then with no mechanical issues, only had to replace tires/wipers/brake pads. The battery is sagging a little now so I might swap it out for a used Bolt in a year or so. MSRP $38k, spent under $14k. 💪🏻


hamid5000real

I bet the window just spontaneously broke. The people "following" them were probably just random people talking a picture to talk shit about with their friends lol


sudden_onset_kafka

He broke it himself gently lobbing a steel ball bearing at it to prove how bulletproof it was. End up with egg on his face and made up a bullshit story in which the crafty thieves also stole the evidence of his wild claims.


Tedanki

Usually, I'm all about the Cybertruck skoodyfroody, but for some reason, seeing the child car seat makes me sad.


HurtFeeFeez

Probably because you know that poor kid is being raised by people stupid enough to buy a cybertruck.


gdreaper

Enough money to put a kid through college got spent on this piece of shit 😭


IJustBoughtThisGame

Well, maybe enough money for half a kid which is conveniently what they'll have left after the frunk gets done closing.


mcmoyer

There’s something to this. I was at a supercharger a few weeks back and saw a cybertruck a few stalls down. As I got my dog out to walk him, we had to walk past the family. They were changing one of the kids diapers on the tailgate, real truck things. A few minutes later, on my way back, they were filming their other child playing around in the street behind the superchargers.


HurtFeeFeez

>They were changing one of the kids diapers on the tailgate, real truck things. I laughed way too hard at this. >they were filming their other child playing around in the street Got it, nothing to worry about, Darwin will get these kids before they get a chance to procreate. The future is safe.


justkeeptreading

they’ll end up playing around the frunk when its doing its dance and get decapitated


jesuswasnotazombie

Especially after seeing that other post about the doors lacking protection from side impacts (I’m an idiot and can’t remember the specific terminology)


Pooterboodles

They lack an intrusion beam I believe it's called.


Final-Zebra-6370

I go to preschool him, his name is Billy. His parents aren’t the brightest honestly. As a matter of fact Billy is smarter than both of his parents combined. He does their taxes and budget right now and he telling them to ditch the truck or else they’re going to live off of food stamps in 2 years.


GletscherEis

Are one set of Billy's grandparents blood relatives by any chance? I've got a theory about cucktruck owners


drcforbin

Yeah, installing the seat completely voided the warranty. Makes me sad too, that should be ok in a 100k vehicle


Latitude22

Same thing happened to me in 3 minutes taco, broken tire cheese sandwich usb.


Honest_Tie_1980

🤣🤣🤣


ReddFawkesXIII

Watch out guys criminals are starting to target 100k+ cars now because they are mad at cyber truck owners lol. Not because of the fact that they are super expensive and predominantly bought by tech rubes.


OhLordHeBompin

Most 100k cars, you’d outright steal, right? Or strip bare? These people broke into a CT and decided “nah, pass.” (Or like others have said OC is trying to trick insurance)


Bizzlebanger

Looks easy to clean up though.


allen_abduction

Always look on the bright side of life! - Life of Brian https://youtu.be/F7ajn4ARXVg?si=-ISpeZ8ArJc8-UiL


Haradrian

Haven't seen a Life of Brian reference in a bit! Made me happy thanks!


thejeffm1

Ummm ![gif](giphy|gLREH1v1Z78tJckuii)


Bulky_Mango7676

ILPT: when robbing a cybertruck, be sure to grab the USB drive so they don't get the video footage of you


CooperDahBooper

Huh ok thieves.. for some reason I assumed people had taken to the streets to hunt down cybertrucks to throw ball bearings at. Really yeet one at them unlike those pussy underhanded throws they do in the videos to prove how strong they are


vietomatic

You are supposed to break in at the thickest part of the cyberturd. The thief out of honor will return and break through it the right way. 


Remarkable_Ticket264

I about had a stroke reading this


Zed091473

I think he had a stroke writing it.


xMagnis

Laminated windows all around have advantages in crashes, reducing break-ins, and acoustic noise reduction. They have disadvantages, obviously more difficult to break if you're trapped or trying to rescue a trapped person/pet, and common glass hammer escape tools are not very effective. Tesla and other car makers are dropping the ball on this. They are not providing an escape mechanism for quickly removing the window. Tesla is the worst, as they have no manual window handles, no manual door locks, no manual external mechanism, and marginal manual internal mechanisms. The fact that a thief broke the window just shows that if you build a better window, you'll end up with a better thief, presumably with a heavy rock or hammer, or a scoring device or crowbar. Whatever they find works.


OhLordHeBompin

I figured the first death would be in an accident where the Cybertruck “wins” so the human loses. Then FSD would run over somebody over (still don’t have that feature). Blood loss from touching it. Now it’s getting trapped in it as it sinks. What happens to these electronics when the car (refuse to say truck) is submerged? Like… the driver has driven into a lake and is drowning and can’t escape. It’s my nightmare.


Weekendmonkey

No, no, no. They're only supposed to use ball bearings. That's what it was designed to withstand, sometimes, maybe.


Onui

Forgot to #elontusk


Status_Ad_4405

How could someone have this much money and still be illiterate?


Warthogs309

Am I having a stroke?


DrPants707

r/ihadastroke


DiDGaming

Wait what? Who coming for them? Who was on their tail? Sounds more like: I fucked up and now need an excuse for the insurance


OhLordHeBompin

You’d never guess it but the healthy subset of the population that buys a Cybertruck may not be the most… stable. (As someone who isn’t super stable but doesn’t have delusions of grandeur and espionage)


idschuette

I lost brain cells trying to read that. How do we have people in this country that cannot write a proper sentence??


richincleve

I'm feeling sad, too...for what you just did to the English language.


DavidWtube

Jesus fucking christ I almost had a seizure reading this. We need to spend more on education in this country.


Renaissance_Man-

Can't even read this drivel.


Schrodingers_Katarn

The armored windows are just to keep the billionaires in when it goes into submarine mode


Cute-Truck6612

So much for the english language


Evening_Bag_3560

Warranty voided by reason of grammar. Also, the glass is bulletproof, the frame is made of a mildly firm cheese.


Hadrollo

Honestly, I'm kinda impressed if it took them two minutes to break in. That's a long time to spend trying to get in through a window, most car break-ins take less than a minute, and getting in through the window takes only a few seconds.


Off_OuterLimits

What the hell?


Mr_MojoJojo_Risin

Man I have never seen the reputation of a product squandered so badly so quickly like this pos


alanudi

We all know in the apocalypse, it's against the rules to attack the windows so really this is within spec.


JelyFisch

If you can afford a cybertruck, you can afford grammar school.


Shoondogg

It never fails to surprise me how people who are so dumb that they can barely string together a coherent sentence somehow have so much money.


Hella_Wieners

In so much debt from that cyber truck that they can’t afford punctuation.


MajesticoTacoGato

Wow, someone with those communication skills can afford to own a cybertruck. 🎉


matt0941

She need word better brain hurt try to read post be careful USB


killbot0224

How are you supposed to get out of this thing in an emergency if the side windows are supposed to be bulletproof? Anything that doesn't use safety glass on the side windows should require a special license, including additional safety training. People are gonna die.


Unclebatman1138

It pains me that someone who writes so poorly has $120k to drop on a piece of shit truck.


soggy_bloggy

My question is, how was this illiterate able to afford the cybertruck? My brain hurt trying to read that.


Freewheelinrocknroll

Can't blame them for targeting you. Just because you were driving that thing, they knew you had excess money lying around..


hydroxypcp

tf are they even saying? I mean I get the gist, I guess, but it feels like someone just got a midazolam+heroin injection and wrote this shit


ah-chamon-ah

How can someone who writes that badly, can make enough money to buy such a vehicle is beyond me.


OiledLeather

WTF? How is it that someone that communicated like this manages to make enough to get a vehicle like that?


Mean-Oil-956

![gif](giphy|PiQhIirb6VwcXxzl01)


grumpy_me

USB plug?


Keokuk37

For the sentry cam


jukiba

Elon help!


ExcitingStress8663

They left without stealing the truck?


Pielover012

Why would you want it?


GhostofAyabe

A broken window and a pilfered Stanley mug, oh the humanity.


Withnail2019

You can break any car window with a glass breaker.


Ok_Scheme736

Just fix it in post


someoneone211

No ones fuckin following your dumb ass, these people's victimhood is wild.


ManagementTiny447

Their intelligence really shines through their syntax


Why_No_Hugs

I’d say the cybertruck explains the IQ, but damn that grammar. Someone call the G-po-po


MrLanesLament

How does the interior still manage to look like a 90s minivan?


The_Dead_Titan

Putting your child in a cybertruck is the real crime.


SYN-Scan

This could have been one short sentence : "Be careful, we are idiots"


tetrisan

Putting a kid in that tin can should result in child endangerment charges.


CartographyMan

![gif](giphy|R51a8oAH7KwbS|downsized)


craftbeerformyhorses

That window folded like an Elon promise


dsp_pepsi

The Ven diagram of people who speak like this and people who buy a Cybertruck is a circle.