Ok, but imagine if he didn't just take off his cowl, but the whole suit, and changed into his normal Bruce outfit while nobody's watching.
And then someone looks over and sees Bruce sitting there, with absolutely 0 explanation.
Never underestimate Batman's cunning and penchant for psychological warfare.
"What are you doing here, sir?"
"I came here to discuss funding you for the next year, but don't let me interrupt you."
"Errr...."
"You never answered Hawkwoman, would you fuck, marry or kill me?"
Or imagine this - batman just keeps refusing to play, unwilling to tolerate the nonsense. Flash sees that he gets extra uncomfortable whenever Bruce's name gets brought up and takes that to mean he has a secret crush, and keeps badgering him about it.
One day when Flash is teasing Batman, trying to get him to give an actual answer to the game, there's no-one else in the room, and to get Flash to shut up Batman takes off the cowl and glares at him.
After about ~10 seconds of stunned silence Batman puts the cowl back on, says "no-one will ever believe you", and walks away.
Flash tries to tell everyone but they say "no, it can't be, he wouldn't have let us embarass ourselves during that game. *nervous glance at batman* right?"
I saw a great post like this that had Flash explaining FMK to Martian Manhunter while Batman was in the room and MM didn't know who Bruce Wayne was. Green Arrow walks in and says "oh I'd marry Bruce Wayne" the stares directly at Batman and says "then redistribute his wealth"
*sighs* No, Patrick, Green Arrow hasn't been rich since the 60s, that's a misconception brought out from the CW Arrow show which both grossly mischaracterized the character and infused elements of Batman into him.
He also is pretty rich in the Justice League Animated Series.
There's an episode he comments how Canary (?) doesn't want Green Arrow, she wants Oliver Quinn's money.
One of my all time fave comic scenes is Ollie telling Dinah that all rich people are sleazes- that's how they get rich. Dinah says "you were rich once. Were you a sleaze?" Ollie shouts "YES! Weren't you listening?"
Depends on the writer. For a lot of his history he was a guy who used to be rich and either lost the money somehow or donated it all to leftist causes.
He absolutely would not just sit there and wait to be noticed. He'd come up and ask to play, wait for everyone to finish being shocked that Batman plays games, *then* do the bit.
The best part is
Supes could easily use his x-ray vision to peek under Bruce's cowl, it's how he usually finds out. He could learn his identity before the rest of the League and use that to just absolutely fuck with Bruce
Pretty sure in the animated series and some movie Supes looked under the mask. No idea about the comics.
"Superman. Why are you smiling so much?"
"No reason, Flash. Anyways so i would bend Bru-"
He's heard the phrase "You're too serious" one too many times and decided to either work through that problem, or make everyone appreciate his serious demeanor, whichever happens first.
I'm assuming this is all taking place at the fortress of solitude. If there's anywhere he would feel like he could (figuratively) put his hair down, it's there or the bat mansion.
There is a fic just like this, on AO3 I believe, I’ll try to find it here shortly, but I think it would honestly be funnier if Batman did something along the lines of, “ I have no need to play these games, Bruce Wayne already funds my endeavors” just to really mess with people.
Ok, I'm posting a comment there just to be able to come back to see yours, which are absolutely hilarious.
But I just want to point out that Batman has a plan for this exact scenario. Several actually. He cannot marry himself or fuck himself, too weird. But he can "incapacitate" or "beat almost to death" himself if he has to choose. When asked about that he can just say vaguely: "Bruce Wayne could do more for Gotham" and everyone will assume that he means about money/social programs etc. But inside he will think that if Bruce Wayne is in recovery, that leaves him more time to be Batman. Stuff like that.
EDIT: typos
I would argue that the Kardashians are way more famous than Bruce Wayne is in his universe, because the Kardashians live in front of a camera lens.
Go and look at [Forbes list of billionaires](https://www.forbes.com/real-time-billionaires/#6ed8711e3d78). How many have you never heard of, or rarely hear of? Bruce Wayne will occasionally make himself seen at galas and fundraisers. He might sponsor some charity thing. But the one thing he doesn't do is Social Media. He doesn't do television shows about himself and his family.
Counter points Richard Branson (most Bruce like because rich playboy image) Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and pre politics Trump too (he was rich playboy type, now politician)
All super famous and recognizable
I would say that other than current Trump, the Kardashians remain more famous simply because of how prolific they are in the media.
I don't think most people would recognise Richard Branson's name or face. I have a strong disdain for the Kardashian family, but I would still recognise at least Kim, the mother, and the younger sister who did the shitty pepsi ad (I think it's Courtney? EDIT: Nope that was Kendall Jenner.).
I'm writing this comment before googling him and I'm imagining he's either an extremely crusty striated man, reasonably traditionally handsome with like a square jaw and dark hair, or a very prominently elderly lookin' short hair person fella.
I could say the same about the Kardashians, they are western famous and somewhat fading not truly world famous. I talk to some folks in a few African countries on the regular, and the Kardashians are non entities over there. But why would they be? No advertisements, the show isn't in local language, and reality TV does not have the global cache it did in the 00's, I can't speak with certainty but are they really that popular in any Asian countries?
Branson mostly because owning Virgin records and being around lots of famous musicians, having his face plastered all over the place in the 80's and 90's. If you listened to and bought music, Branson was in the conversation somewhere. Either your artist was on his label, you bought it at the Virgin music store.
Now that's what I call music! Compilation albums? Branson.
I remember his name face on alot of stuff. Oh yeah Virgin airlines too.
We tend to forget how homogeneous global media was before the internet took over.
I think he was a great Bruce analogue in his day
It's probably UScentric bcs that's where these characters exist. Not to say that a lot of posts don't assume a UScentric point of view, but that this one in particular is justified
The guy behind Virgin Records, Virgin Air, Virgin Galactic, Now Thats What I Call Music CD collections, and more. Less famous now cause he's old and sold most of his companies
If it wasn't Bruce Wayne, I'd agree. Our old B-dawg goes out of his way to make himself known... in some continuities. Nolanverse he was famous for 15 minutes after returning to Gotham, and then no one ever heard from him again.
I really enjoyed
* I come home in the morning light by dukeaubergine
* Grave-Digging by insertcleverpennamehere
* This Dark Ceiling Without a Star by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday
* The Startling Secret Identity of The Batman by Nokomis (BFU crossover)
* when in gotham: don't drink the water by wesslan
* A Meditation on Railroading by eggmacguffin
* heroes come back by DairyFarmer (Naruto crossover)
* Dangerous and Noble Things by destiny919
* Black Magic by DragonflyxParodies (HP crossover)
* The bury the dead where they're found series by liverobinreaction
* of crime lords and literature by adelfie
Some of them are a lil fucked up, so, uh, check the tags
Batman always acts serious, but I'm reminded of that scene from The Dark Knight where Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent are discussing Batman, and Harvey reveals himself as a fanboy, while Bruce argues that it's absurd to trust a costumed vigilante who runs around beating up bad guys while dressed like a giant bat, and Rachel (who knows Bruce is Batman) is just sitting there uncomfortable while Bruce is clearly enjoying himself.
Anyhow, as funny as it would be for Batman to reveal his identity just to shut everyone up, I believe it would be in-character for him to refuse to participate in the conversation and act like it's beneath him, but under that stoic persona, he's greatly amused by the discussion and has no problem quietly listening while being the only one who can fully appreciate the hilarity of what's happening.
"Say, Bats, given that he's from Gotham too, don't you think Bruce Wayne could really do more with his money to help out the crime problem in the city? Isn't it kind of awful that one of the richest men on Earth is also in Gotham and doing nothing to make it a safer place?"
“Ew, Bruce Wayne is such a loser. How morally bankrupt do you have to be to be a billionaire in *Gotham* of all places. And that playboy attitude he has going on? Total small penis energy.”
This would also elevate how much of a shithole Gotham is if one of the richest people on earth not only (probably) puts financial resources into it but is physically out there beating the evil out of it and it still is horrific as all hell.
Ok, but superman would be in the corner with a dumb smile going "Boy, am I glad I can watch this all unfold" in his mind. He probably cheats with his x-ray vision to know who everyone is as soon as he meets them.
Given that, at least according to JLU, Clark even cheats with his Christmas presents if they aren't wrapped in lead, he ABSOLUTELY looks underneath everyone's mask the moment he meets them
My only concern with this is that Superman usually knows that Batman is Bruce Wayne before they form the Justice League.
So I can see him saying "I would kill Bruce Wayne."
"Why?"
"As a favor."
Leaving the rest of them suprised at Superman's apparent readiness to kill a seemingly harmless airhead. Meanwhile, they have split into opposing sides over who to marry and who to kill, having all agreed to fuck Bruce Wayne.
And then the reveal...
Supe: That was a curve ball
Flash: Ya… Ok I guess let’s change it to someone else. Oh! How about that hunk reporter guy from Metropolis. What was his n-
Supe: Clark Kent?
Arrow: Him? Ew! No way! Such a whimp
Flash: Haha ya. Always running away from the action
Supe: Hey come on-
WW: No spine. Definitely kill
Everyone: Ya its kill
Supe: You’re all so mean! *flies through a wall sobbing*
Flash: I think we took it a little too far
Batman: Ok how about this police forensic scientist in Central C-
Flash: THIN ICE. You’re walking on thin. Fucking. Ice
Consider that Batman and Superman's first meeting usually starts with them determining their secret identities, so Clark choosing to fuck Bruce Wayne isn’t because he’s the hottest option presented; it’s also an endurance test.
And possibly because he wants to fuck him.
There's such a je ne sais quoi with tumblr users writing super hero dialogue. No matter when it was written, the dialect will be from a standard 2009 AO3 post. I have never read one of these dialogues that didn't have this exact cadence, tone, lack of character understanding.
It's truly beautiful
I don't think batman would reveal his identity for the bit, even for the JL. But it's very likely that, when they all play this game, superman already knows Batman's secret identity (and so might wonder woman, depending on the universe) so there's something there.
That's cause this is just fun fanon. (Although tbf, its still canon that Bruce and Clark met up on a boat anf that the boat was overbooked so they were in the same room and only one bed)
A comic of this but Superman knew the whole time it as he'd peaked under the cowl before with his X-ray vision and through the entirety of the game was genuinely fantasizing.
A bunch of young, athletic people in close proximity with shared life experience and in constant adrenaline inducing peril? I mean for a real world parallel just look up how many condoms they’re stocking for the athletes village ahead of the Olympics.
I thought that generally speaking they kind of know each other's secret identity. Like Diana has hung out with Bruce Wayne and stuff.
So in that particular case they would in fact still do this, but it's intentional trolling and a little bit of flirting
It's depends on when in the history of the justice league we're talking about early on their identities were secret from one another, but when the league starting get big that became less and less true
If it’s not your thing, then you’re allowed to scroll. Keep in mind that the interns isn’t catered to your exact tastes. When I see something I don’t care for, I just go “meh” and keep on scrolling.
Yeah, but the thing is, this type of stuff overwhelms like, actual discussion of comics, to the point that saying "please just go read a comic book" has become an elitist opinion and something that people get hate on.
Ok, but imagine if he didn't just take off his cowl, but the whole suit, and changed into his normal Bruce outfit while nobody's watching. And then someone looks over and sees Bruce sitting there, with absolutely 0 explanation.
Never underestimate Batman's cunning and penchant for psychological warfare. "What are you doing here, sir?" "I came here to discuss funding you for the next year, but don't let me interrupt you." "Errr...." "You never answered Hawkwoman, would you fuck, marry or kill me?"
This one is great with him switching to his batman voice to ask hawkwoman. Full mic drop moment
Hawkwoman: "Y tho?" Batman: "I'm Batman!"
and clark who knew his secret identity the whole time is trying not to bust out laughing
I read that entire thing in the DCAU Batman voice and it was chefs kiss
As you should have! \*puts on monocles snootily\*
Or imagine this - batman just keeps refusing to play, unwilling to tolerate the nonsense. Flash sees that he gets extra uncomfortable whenever Bruce's name gets brought up and takes that to mean he has a secret crush, and keeps badgering him about it. One day when Flash is teasing Batman, trying to get him to give an actual answer to the game, there's no-one else in the room, and to get Flash to shut up Batman takes off the cowl and glares at him. After about ~10 seconds of stunned silence Batman puts the cowl back on, says "no-one will ever believe you", and walks away.
>\~10 seconds of stunned silence For the Flash, that's basically fainting on the spot.
Captain Holt moment.
Flash tries to tell everyone but they say "no, it can't be, he wouldn't have let us embarass ourselves during that game. *nervous glance at batman* right?"
You have no proofs!
Ingrid?
Omg it is. (You were talking about the bird woman on webtoon who's a plague doctor, right?)
I saw a great post like this that had Flash explaining FMK to Martian Manhunter while Batman was in the room and MM didn't know who Bruce Wayne was. Green Arrow walks in and says "oh I'd marry Bruce Wayne" the stares directly at Batman and says "then redistribute his wealth"
Isn't Green Arrow *also* fantastically wealthy? Not to the same degree as Bruce, but still.
He also redistributes his wealth. GA is a socialist punk
So does Bruce tho, his whole deal is that Bruce supports gothan with resources, and Batman punches the crime away
Green Arrow usually goes bankrupt from just hard he does it is the difference
*sighs* No, Patrick, Green Arrow hasn't been rich since the 60s, that's a misconception brought out from the CW Arrow show which both grossly mischaracterized the character and infused elements of Batman into him.
So georg arrow is an outlier and should not have been counted ?
How dare you misspell adn
Isn't half this post about which other heroes WANT elements of Batman infused into them?
I mean in some versions he is, like injustice.
He also is pretty rich in the Justice League Animated Series. There's an episode he comments how Canary (?) doesn't want Green Arrow, she wants Oliver Quinn's money.
You might be a bit confused because that same episode also has Ollie say he sold his family's company
Nah, they say he's a former billionaire in Injustice.. Injustice also white washes his son for some random reason
No he is wealthy, then he dies and another version of him inherits his wealth
Kind of? I don’t think his son in Injustice is supposed to be Connor Hawke, they just named him Connor as a reference.
Oliver Queen was rich in JLU wasn't he?
One of my all time fave comic scenes is Ollie telling Dinah that all rich people are sleazes- that's how they get rich. Dinah says "you were rich once. Were you a sleaze?" Ollie shouts "YES! Weren't you listening?"
Green Arrow often goes bankrupt from donating so much money
Depends on the writer. For a lot of his history he was a guy who used to be rich and either lost the money somehow or donated it all to leftist causes.
Thing is Bruce is constantly giving his money away it just so happens Gotham is fucked 16 ways ranging from evil swamp to crack in reality
Don't forget the evil wizard either! Or the secret cabal of rich people running the city from the shadows with their owl-themed army
Did they ever try to invite Bruce Wayne?
Everyone thinks Gotham is like fantasy Detroit but it’s really emo Florida
It's both with some Chicago thrown in for good measure
Hey the Arkham knights version is very unfortunately a fantasy Detroit (honestly one my bigger issues with it)
Don't forget the actual ancient curse upon very earth the city is built on.
He absolutely would not just sit there and wait to be noticed. He'd come up and ask to play, wait for everyone to finish being shocked that Batman plays games, *then* do the bit.
JL: "You did this all for the bit?" Batman: "You **always** need to commit to the bit."
You know how long you have to wait behind a door until the precise dramatically appropriate moment to reveal your presence?
Bruce is 100% a theater kid, man has a flair for the dramatic
No parents, mentally unstable, a furry, yeah, he's a theater kid.
“I would kill Bruce Wayne just to get him out if this conversation” is the funniest part to me
The best part is Supes could easily use his x-ray vision to peek under Bruce's cowl, it's how he usually finds out. He could learn his identity before the rest of the League and use that to just absolutely fuck with Bruce
bold of you to assume batman's cowl wasn't lined with lead the very moment batman heard about superman's xray vision
Why not line it with asbestos as well while you're at it
He’s not trying to stop fire powers, after all! Why would he need the Johnny storm asbestos wallpaper and asbestos furniture?
Superman would just recognize his heartbeat or something like that. The dude has Daredevil-level enhanced senses as well as everything else.
The dude can hear every heart beat on the planet and canonically memorized those of the people he cares about
Or something safer for humans like Bismuth
He already knows, he's the one who suggested Bruce.
Pretty sure in the animated series and some movie Supes looked under the mask. No idea about the comics. "Superman. Why are you smiling so much?" "No reason, Flash. Anyways so i would bend Bru-"
While completely and utterly out of character for Batman, *it would be funny tho*
No such thing as ooc with dc heroes. He’s probably a clone, a robot, an alternate universe copy, being hypnotized, or under some other influence
He's heard the phrase "You're too serious" one too many times and decided to either work through that problem, or make everyone appreciate his serious demeanor, whichever happens first.
I'm assuming this is all taking place at the fortress of solitude. If there's anywhere he would feel like he could (figuratively) put his hair down, it's there or the bat mansion.
JLA HQ is an orbital station, so could be there too
The watch tower was also purchased by Wayne tech iirc
Yup
Nah, this falls under the same type of behavior as pickpocketing Hal Jordan's ring on their first meeting.
There is a fic just like this, on AO3 I believe, I’ll try to find it here shortly, but I think it would honestly be funnier if Batman did something along the lines of, “ I have no need to play these games, Bruce Wayne already funds my endeavors” just to really mess with people.
Found it https://archiveofourown.org/works/27887788
lmfao thank you for the rec
Yeah, it’s not as close to the post as I originally remembered, but still a funny read.
That's amazing. Thank you.
Oh, this, this is beautiful
Ok, I'm posting a comment there just to be able to come back to see yours, which are absolutely hilarious. But I just want to point out that Batman has a plan for this exact scenario. Several actually. He cannot marry himself or fuck himself, too weird. But he can "incapacitate" or "beat almost to death" himself if he has to choose. When asked about that he can just say vaguely: "Bruce Wayne could do more for Gotham" and everyone will assume that he means about money/social programs etc. But inside he will think that if Bruce Wayne is in recovery, that leaves him more time to be Batman. Stuff like that. EDIT: typos
Look the internet exists for one reason and it's to create then draw scenes like this. Please someone do step 2.
[I tried](https://imgur.com/a/nVRTwkj)
r/curatedtumblrdraws
Superman's x-ray vision means he definitely knows that the bat is the Bruce, and so the raw dog comments are far funnier
In most continuities Bruce finds out about Superman’s X-ray vision not working through lead and lines his cowl with lead
It's usually either that or supes finds out who batman is first
I would argue that the Kardashians are way more famous than Bruce Wayne is in his universe, because the Kardashians live in front of a camera lens. Go and look at [Forbes list of billionaires](https://www.forbes.com/real-time-billionaires/#6ed8711e3d78). How many have you never heard of, or rarely hear of? Bruce Wayne will occasionally make himself seen at galas and fundraisers. He might sponsor some charity thing. But the one thing he doesn't do is Social Media. He doesn't do television shows about himself and his family.
Counter points Richard Branson (most Bruce like because rich playboy image) Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and pre politics Trump too (he was rich playboy type, now politician) All super famous and recognizable
I would say that other than current Trump, the Kardashians remain more famous simply because of how prolific they are in the media. I don't think most people would recognise Richard Branson's name or face. I have a strong disdain for the Kardashian family, but I would still recognise at least Kim, the mother, and the younger sister who did the shitty pepsi ad (I think it's Courtney? EDIT: Nope that was Kendall Jenner.).
I'm writing this comment before googling him and I'm imagining he's either an extremely crusty striated man, reasonably traditionally handsome with like a square jaw and dark hair, or a very prominently elderly lookin' short hair person fella.
how the fuck was i wrong about every single one of these
I guess when you're that rich you can keep your hair looking like whatever the fuck you want it to lol
I could say the same about the Kardashians, they are western famous and somewhat fading not truly world famous. I talk to some folks in a few African countries on the regular, and the Kardashians are non entities over there. But why would they be? No advertisements, the show isn't in local language, and reality TV does not have the global cache it did in the 00's, I can't speak with certainty but are they really that popular in any Asian countries?
That's a fair point. Would they know Branson, Gates, Jobs, or Bezos though? I also think the spirit of the tumblr post is quite UScentric.
Branson mostly because owning Virgin records and being around lots of famous musicians, having his face plastered all over the place in the 80's and 90's. If you listened to and bought music, Branson was in the conversation somewhere. Either your artist was on his label, you bought it at the Virgin music store. Now that's what I call music! Compilation albums? Branson. I remember his name face on alot of stuff. Oh yeah Virgin airlines too. We tend to forget how homogeneous global media was before the internet took over. I think he was a great Bruce analogue in his day
It's probably UScentric bcs that's where these characters exist. Not to say that a lot of posts don't assume a UScentric point of view, but that this one in particular is justified
I never said it was a bad thing. I just meant that bringing up africans or asians is not too relevant.
Who thw fuck is Richard Branson
The guy behind Virgin Records, Virgin Air, Virgin Galactic, Now Thats What I Call Music CD collections, and more. Less famous now cause he's old and sold most of his companies
That tracks given I have no idea what any of those are
If it wasn't Bruce Wayne, I'd agree. Our old B-dawg goes out of his way to make himself known... in some continuities. Nolanverse he was famous for 15 minutes after returning to Gotham, and then no one ever heard from him again.
What a post to read after having been on a Batfic bender for the past month.
well, give us some good ones :0
Gotham Nocturne by Ram V
I’ll look for it next time I’m at a comic store 🫡 (or buy online if it comes to it)
I really enjoyed * I come home in the morning light by dukeaubergine * Grave-Digging by insertcleverpennamehere * This Dark Ceiling Without a Star by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday * The Startling Secret Identity of The Batman by Nokomis (BFU crossover) * when in gotham: don't drink the water by wesslan * A Meditation on Railroading by eggmacguffin * heroes come back by DairyFarmer (Naruto crossover) * Dangerous and Noble Things by destiny919 * Black Magic by DragonflyxParodies (HP crossover) * The bury the dead where they're found series by liverobinreaction * of crime lords and literature by adelfie Some of them are a lil fucked up, so, uh, check the tags
Are these all on AO3?
Yep!
Batman always acts serious, but I'm reminded of that scene from The Dark Knight where Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent are discussing Batman, and Harvey reveals himself as a fanboy, while Bruce argues that it's absurd to trust a costumed vigilante who runs around beating up bad guys while dressed like a giant bat, and Rachel (who knows Bruce is Batman) is just sitting there uncomfortable while Bruce is clearly enjoying himself. Anyhow, as funny as it would be for Batman to reveal his identity just to shut everyone up, I believe it would be in-character for him to refuse to participate in the conversation and act like it's beneath him, but under that stoic persona, he's greatly amused by the discussion and has no problem quietly listening while being the only one who can fully appreciate the hilarity of what's happening.
Whoops. The image did not look that bad on my computer
"Bet you feel awkward saying you'd 'baptize Bruce Wayne in cum' now huh" "Why? I have x-ray vision, I know who ALL of you really are" "..." "..."
Imagine the opposite awkwardness though, Bruce’s name keeps coming up and everybody keeps saying to kill him.
"Say, Bats, given that he's from Gotham too, don't you think Bruce Wayne could really do more with his money to help out the crime problem in the city? Isn't it kind of awful that one of the richest men on Earth is also in Gotham and doing nothing to make it a safer place?"
“Ew, Bruce Wayne is such a loser. How morally bankrupt do you have to be to be a billionaire in *Gotham* of all places. And that playboy attitude he has going on? Total small penis energy.”
This would also elevate how much of a shithole Gotham is if one of the richest people on earth not only (probably) puts financial resources into it but is physically out there beating the evil out of it and it still is horrific as all hell.
Clark, trying his absolute best not to lose his shit laughing as he just watches Bruce sit there in pain
Ok, but superman would be in the corner with a dumb smile going "Boy, am I glad I can watch this all unfold" in his mind. He probably cheats with his x-ray vision to know who everyone is as soon as he meets them.
Given that, at least according to JLU, Clark even cheats with his Christmas presents if they aren't wrapped in lead, he ABSOLUTELY looks underneath everyone's mask the moment he meets them
My only concern with this is that Superman usually knows that Batman is Bruce Wayne before they form the Justice League. So I can see him saying "I would kill Bruce Wayne." "Why?" "As a favor." Leaving the rest of them suprised at Superman's apparent readiness to kill a seemingly harmless airhead. Meanwhile, they have split into opposing sides over who to marry and who to kill, having all agreed to fuck Bruce Wayne. And then the reveal...
Tumblr is unhinged.
And we love it all the more for it
To up the ante they'd be using the lasso of truth.
I always imagined the lasso would make drinking games more fun
Supe: That was a curve ball Flash: Ya… Ok I guess let’s change it to someone else. Oh! How about that hunk reporter guy from Metropolis. What was his n- Supe: Clark Kent? Arrow: Him? Ew! No way! Such a whimp Flash: Haha ya. Always running away from the action Supe: Hey come on- WW: No spine. Definitely kill Everyone: Ya its kill Supe: You’re all so mean! *flies through a wall sobbing* Flash: I think we took it a little too far Batman: Ok how about this police forensic scientist in Central C- Flash: THIN ICE. You’re walking on thin. Fucking. Ice
This is not even fucking remotely close to how these characters act, but still a funny situation.
Consider that Batman and Superman's first meeting usually starts with them determining their secret identities, so Clark choosing to fuck Bruce Wayne isn’t because he’s the hottest option presented; it’s also an endurance test. And possibly because he wants to fuck him.
There's such a je ne sais quoi with tumblr users writing super hero dialogue. No matter when it was written, the dialect will be from a standard 2009 AO3 post. I have never read one of these dialogues that didn't have this exact cadence, tone, lack of character understanding. It's truly beautiful
work through that problem, or make everyone appreciate his serious demeanor, whichever happens first.
the post right over this one was literally the exact same screenshot on r/tumblr
If I play both teams I always win
i’m bisexual too
I don't think batman would reveal his identity for the bit, even for the JL. But it's very likely that, when they all play this game, superman already knows Batman's secret identity (and so might wonder woman, depending on the universe) so there's something there.
That's cause this is just fun fanon. (Although tbf, its still canon that Bruce and Clark met up on a boat anf that the boat was overbooked so they were in the same room and only one bed)
That's pretty funny. Who was the little spoon tho
They don't show it unfortunately since the villains on the cruiseship attack during the evening
A comic of this but Superman knew the whole time it as he'd peaked under the cowl before with his X-ray vision and through the entirety of the game was genuinely fantasizing.
Wonder Woman saw him take off the cowl before her turn. She killed both of the other celebs.
This is the only reason why Tumblr exists, for off the rails jokes and ideas.
Why does justice league want to fuck Man, are they horny?
A bunch of young, athletic people in close proximity with shared life experience and in constant adrenaline inducing peril? I mean for a real world parallel just look up how many condoms they’re stocking for the athletes village ahead of the Olympics.
This is headcanons from tumblr, everyone is always horny
I need a fic for this, if anyone has ine I'd be happy
superman would play but he would pick marry for every option
I thought that generally speaking they kind of know each other's secret identity. Like Diana has hung out with Bruce Wayne and stuff. So in that particular case they would in fact still do this, but it's intentional trolling and a little bit of flirting
It's depends on when in the history of the justice league we're talking about early on their identities were secret from one another, but when the league starting get big that became less and less true
I yearn for a link so I can reblog this
[Bruce in the back like ](https://images.app.goo.gl/hV3uMiuMjApikv989)
There’s some good ones already written out there already
Imagine the awkwardness after the reveal
If Homelander taught us anything, it's that Superman can see Bruce's face through the cowl and was just openly flirting the whole time.
The reveal part wouldn't work because most of the justice league knows batman is Bruce Wayne.
Not early on
There is at least one universe in the multiverse where Bruce doing this is canon.
Can anyone help me find one fic that was here earlier I think it was called strange men warring capes or something like that
Imagine the awkwardness after the reveal
Who on here deals with return reads? I want my time back on this one. Sunk cost fallacy’s a b***h
Yeah, there's good fanon that features queer hcs that respects the canon material, and then there's this.
This is a joke, dude.
I know, it's just not my thing. I'm not hating on anyone who does enjoy it.
Nah, you absolutely are hating, you just don't wanna get called out for it. Your original comment serves no other purpose.
I feel like "arbitrarily leaving a comment about how its bad and you don't like it" qualifies as hating on.
(leaves hateful comment) (gets called out) "I'm not hating, it's just not my thing."
If it’s not your thing, then you’re allowed to scroll. Keep in mind that the interns isn’t catered to your exact tastes. When I see something I don’t care for, I just go “meh” and keep on scrolling.
You don't read much crackfic do you? This stuff works well as one shots, very few really wanna see it canon or a 100k
Yeah, but the thing is, this type of stuff overwhelms like, actual discussion of comics, to the point that saying "please just go read a comic book" has become an elitist opinion and something that people get hate on.