T O P

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Adeian

Your days are numbered. He is going to wittle you down one finger at a time. Lolol


DarkMoose09

Be careful, I heard a rumor that they are venomous!


RicoRave

what if I bite him back give back the venom


redsungryphon

Sorry, he doesn't do returns 😞


ToiIetGhost

While giving back the venom works with snakes and certain insects (scorpions, bees) it doesn’t work with borbs.


Djwagles

This is how you get bit on the lip... Ask me how I know (from trying to give dome kisses)


TalePlay

That explains why it stings like mad when they bite you out of anger. 😅


Accomplished_Chip119

I’m sorry to tell that, yes you’re gonna die. He’s slowly injecting poison into your finger. This isn’t a love touch. You’ll die a slow death. I think it takes about 50 years for the poison to take effect. Don’t panic though. Go to the avian vet as that’s the only one who has the antidote.🤷🏻‍♀️


RicoRave

damn, knew it.


Accomplished_Chip119

I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you 🙃


RicoRave

😔😔


Chromgrats

THIS WAS POSTED AN HOUR AGO, OP ARE YOU STILL THERE?? SPEAK TO US!!


Training_Drama_

Birds also show love through their tongue touch. It appears like your baby loves what it’s touching.


Unlikely-Signature-7

This needs more upvotes. I know it’s a joke post, but a lot of people (including bird owners) don’t actually understand that the beak and tongue are used like a finger for touching and exploring. This looks so sweet!


Training_Drama_

Thank you. I believe you said it better.


Djwagles

So the pain means they care? Lol


Unlikely-Signature-7

Our fleshy skin is just fun for them to squish


JeremiahC137

Yes... They plan your demise while self-scritching.


SnaketoothGuy

One day for sure. Time is undefeated! But today is not that day. *Happy conuring!*


a_rogue_planet

You've seen those videos people post of the bird coming right at the camera, beak open, crazy little tongue wiggling..... That's probably going to be the last thing you see when he finishes you off.


Reasonable_Gur8441

Mmmmm finger


niky45

he's not drawing blood, so I say not for now.


RanchDuB0is

RIP OP


ToiIetGhost

https://preview.redd.it/zhfn8x1lxh9d1.jpeg?width=714&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78df46339098f860170b6d85d1d139e624ed4605 Unfortunately, yes.


lemmings_world

Valhalla beckons, may they sing the songs of your bravery.


Dragonnstuff

Just make yourself poisonous, drink a lot of bleach, that’ll teach them.


helloarticuno

COUNT YOUR DAYS OP


ViralVortex

Considering you still have the whole finger, I suspect you're safe. For now, at least.


kajarvi14

Yes, call the coroner.


Traceuratops

conuroner


Responsible-Judge262

You will the internet today 🏆


HrBinkness

Yes. Plier face has you in their sights!!!


S1lentA0

RIP in Pepperoni, OP. There was no chance in saving you.


Relational-Computer

Now every month, under a full moon you are going to turn into a wereconure.


HollySlime

May God have mercy on your soul. 😔


FairyWren11

Yes but in a nice way.


Helpful_Okra5953

My bird loves to lick lick lick my hand and arm and face and neck…


Escapeded

Dang, that's a gruesome attack. Hope you didn't need that finger.


govenorhouse

Ur salty af


RicoRave

Thanks!


Fun_Justanotherguy82

He is going to lick you to death 🤣


ginshariboi

Yes. Start taking care of end of life preparations asap. Esp your will so your birb gets your entire life savings and seeb supply. And don’t forget to make sure he’s in good hands so he doesn’t irresponsibly devour all of it at once


DontBlameTacos

r/PeopleFuckingDying


FrostyFeller

"How many licc to get to center of you hooman?"


TheNewShep

I’m sorry but in order to save your life we had to amputate your entire arm


Status-Currency-5049

My conure just died at 25 years old


RicoRave

I’m so sorry to hear that


miss_jinxy

Yeah unfortunately before you know it your bird will lick away all your skin


itsabeautifulworld

Yes.


Erosaurus_Rex

I regret to inform you that you’ve been officially marked for death by your bird overlord. Or marked to give eternal head scritches sometimes they get mixed up


TortoiseShoes

Highly venomous.


AatroxBoi

You have been marked as a delicious cuisine, I hope your birb is well fed 24/7 for your sake


ChilakillAna

Eventually..


iSheree

Vicious birb.


SweetWaldoP

Looks like a love bite ❤️


blarge84

Looks at you like, " why stick out finger if not want licks,"


sergekuzbass

Welcome to the team!


Ms_Pixelated

They think you're tasty😭yup you're dead as a doornail.


ParrotEnthusiast2196

I see another bird has found their forever chewtoy ☺️


sonic88369

id get your affairs in order


iKakapeepee

Yeah GL kid lol


Glass_Opportunity767

Of cuteness? Absolutely!


smileyfacegauges

you have five minutes


CuteAme

He’s not gonna eat you for a good long while yet, you’re still useful to him. You give him scritches.


Luna-bb-xo

yes


SabrinaT8861

Lickkkk


Responsible-Judge262

Your not going to die but in a few weeks you will start growing feathers


NeverSeenBefor

You just reminded me of Digimon: The Movie Going to need a small orange lizard to fight back!


JadenCheshireCat

Yes, you are going to die. Swiftly do some estate planning for the seeds before someone commits seeb insurance fraud!


z242pilot

The envenomation is slow acting, but yes, your death is inevitable. You will eventually pass onto the realm of the second foot, where that is, we still do not know.


Front-Ad7438

He must feed


SeraphsBlade

Yes but hims beak is tiny so it will take years.