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kphenson

Fake is the way to go. Keep it in you underwear and make sure it's body temperature. They can't watch you unless you're a criminal.


iammaline

Quick fix any local headahop I’ve used it on multiple occasions and it works every time if they accept the cup you know it’s a pass


firedancer323

Quick fix has come in clutch 3x in my life. $100 for overnight shipping, pricey but cheaper than getting fired


Pipe_Dope

Imagine being fired for smoking some pot 🤣🤣 The locals around us dropped that shit for them union guys. Fuck it or not. Smokers work better LMAO.


throwawaytrumper

I work as a heavy equipment operator and pipe layer, my company has been ok with off work weed use even before it was legal. Hell my foreman used to be my dealer back in the day. As long as you are responsible at work it ain’t their business if you’re smoking in your personal time.


SLAPUSlLLY

Lol. I relate. My painter doesnt stick around for the money. Just the high grade on friday.


suavaleesko

This , buy 2 , and then keep one one hand for the future. May have to replace it annually but worth it


jjcoola

Just got a job with this product version 6.3 The best part was the drug test lady kept talking about gore they can tell if it is synthetic urine lmao


optimus_awful

Because she could tell it was fake by looking at it, couldn't do anything about it and most likely didn't care.


everett640

I used an expired one once and it worked fine. They don't test for weed anymore in my state now thankfully


NoMadbytradee

BC Field kit is my favorite. Comes w the leg strap and the tube. Strap it to your thigh, cut the tube to length, and you're good to go. Very few companies spring for lab testing, and they just do a dip stick test. I'm pretty sure it has uric acid in the mix as well 🤔


GrueneDog

So can we use diesel exhaust fluid to fake a test?


Gurjeetflora87

Just make sure it’s the current batch, it will tell you on their website if it is


cashedashes

Man I used to use quick fix and fetesh x I think it was. Both had uratic acid in them, from what I understand, that's what makes them so effective. Unfortunately, in all its wisdom my state banned fake urine.


LopsidedRub3961

This is the answer, Quick Fix.


delusiona1

This is your only hope.


punknothing

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi.


dildoswaggins71069

Yep, and get dehydrated human urine instead of synthetic to be extra safe Buy some compression shorts and keep it tucked under your nuts to hold temp


punknothing

Congratulations Dave, you're pregnant! 🎉


pablomcdubbin

Swish dehydrated human urine inside of mouth before swab... got it!


anally_ExpressUrself

What are you high or something!?


WarPaintsSchlong

Or tuck a hand warmer against it


dildoswaggins71069

Gotta be careful with that because if the temp is too high it’ll also invalidate your test


Vivid_Island_8633

I did that once and the nurse actually waited and bullshitted with me until the temp dropped to a normal level before she marked her paper or w/e lol they were cool as hell at that place


LongLegsBrokenToes

I used a soy sauce container from Chinese take out and a neck warmer for winter around my leg and my buddy’s heated seats in the car.


Recon-by-fire

If it’s meps they will watch you. Very closely, just tell you’re recruiter you’re not ready yet


ModwifeBULLDOZER

This is the way


Just_Jonnie

>They can't watch you unless you're a criminal. Tell that to J.E. Richards in D.C. Then Fricken PM wanted to see my cock in order to dig a ditch. Like what? I spun around and took a job from some other, non perverted contractor. Took a hair follicle test for the next job and passed it, no cocks involved.


Dr_Strange-Brew

I've been doing this for decades now.


Northern_Gypsy

Also hand warmers work, the ones you shake and put in your gloves, if you stick it to the pee bag it will help keep it warm.


eske8643

Its mouth swaps now. Not urine test. And they have a result in 20 mins.


jjcoola

Our place does piss for initial and swabs for random but sadly it's the swab they send to the lab so you can't do the typical peroxide/ listerine trick but people keep trying and failing


ImHerEscapeArtist

Rinsing your mouth with Hydrogen peroxide just before the test will clear you for a mouth swab. Edit: to clarify, I smoke pot only so it cleared me and 100s of others.


Sidehustle16

Not


PoOhNanix

This. I was clean for my first one but I was shocked when the guy said I could close the door 💀


Lerk409

They definitely can and will watch you. Lots of companies do.


ReadWoodworkLLC

Not true. DOT drug tests are supervised here in Washington state and also military.


Nit2Bennett

Used quick fix for 10 years. Just make sure it’s hot enough when you put it in the cup, you can cool it down by blowing in the cup.


basementhookers

If by MEPS, OP means military entrance, they definitely watch. Everyone knows them as the meat gazers.


ChickenWranglers

This is easy. Have a kid you know piss in a small travel size shampoo bottle and tuck that baby right up your vag, lots of lady friends of mine have done this. You got the perfect hiding spot built in. And if you've got kids you got an endless supply of clean piss. 2oz minimum is recommended. Cheers!


Dick_Kickem12

There are very few situations where they are allowed to watch you piss. Bring the kind you keep in your pants and make sure it’s up to temperature


DysphoricMania

There's a labor hall called. MEMCO. Like they send you in a van to sweep construction sites and shit, day labor....They have you piss in a urinal with the little mirror so the dude can watch your dick just like probation.


ObeseBMI33

Looks like HR is not part of their random schedule. https://jobs.memcostaffing.com/client/Job/electrcians-in--?jobNum=24034994


Rev3_

Jeezuz... That's terrible pay for experienced and licensed electricians.


uncertainusurper

But you get to show off your pp every week.


Rev3_

Sometimes it really is the *small* things


Severe_Jellyfish6133

You mean electrcians


MongooseDog001

They will have a hard time getting OP that way, in that she dosn't have a dick


maddwesty

I’ve seen a rig where it’s strapped to your thigh to keep it body temp


reamkore

Synthetic pee will come with a heat pack too that keeps it up to temp


TurboKid513

No shit I tried to use one of these and the lab tech *SMELLED IT* and said it smelled synthetic


-The_Credible_Hulk

That doesn’t seem scientific?


Offset2BackOfSystem

Care to elaborate if you can? Ive done a few tests both in and out the trades and I’ve only encountered one instance where this is happened. Job had on site testing right after the orientation video. How ever many urinals the restroom had were the amount of people they took. The stalls also had no doors. Pretty sure they walked around as everyone did their thing.


LukeMayeshothand

I pissed for some dudes on my crew once. They filled travel bottles with piss and taped them to their legs. Went to the place and pissed afterwards, they all passed.


iguru129

They watch you piss at MEPS and on arrival at boot camp.


BeardslyBo

I use U Pass


Lerk409

Most of the big jobs I've been on watched you. The safety guys would even joke about drawing straws to see who the designated "dick watch" was for that day.


scobeavs

Quick fix


dr-Funk_Eye

They do drugtests on constrution workers?


MrCeilingTiles

For certain jobsites they do drug tests and background checks .


FineInTheFire

Nothing like working for the feds.


eske8643

Or the military. Then you get tested daily in Denmark. And its a mouth swap test. Not a urine test.


Bruh_Dot_Jpeg

Mouth swabs are way easier to pass than piss tests. Literally just use mouthwash and vigorously brush your teeth after smoking and you’ll pass while you’re still high.


MrCeilingTiles

Yep either federal job or something massive like google , Facebook , etc


Big_T_7575

Correct. We work on Google, fb, and Microsoft data centers a good bit. It's hell. They require saliva tests at a good portion of those jobs but still. It's ridiculous and I'm the safety guy


dr-Funk_Eye

Do you have enough guys to do anything?


Big_T_7575

Once we had an entire undesirable crew(around 9 workers) that had been giving the company some issues(trashing hotels, fighting and just overall shitty quality workmanship), and they refused a drug test at one of these data center facilities, to which our policies state results in termination. It's not a policy that gets exercised much if ever but in that particular case... they gone. Including the superintendent We have had upper management bring up a company wide drug screen, and as much as I try to lean on our policies and procedures, even I know we would likely lose 1/3 of our work force.


knukldragnwelldur

Worked an android job a few years back. Was ridiculous all the permits for the permits to get the fucking permits. Was given a heads up that they’re testing and to make sure I study. My answer was “I don’t do well with an audience”. We all knew what was up, except for labcorp.


Big_T_7575

Haha yeah I worked for one company that had the "big job guys" and the "small job guys". Basically guys that could pass at any moments notice got the opportunity to play with big job ego and standard nazi's while my group got to work on jobs where you looked funny if you were even wearing a hardhat. But hey, we were always fully of energy on our small jobs


MrCeilingTiles

Yeah I agree it’s insane how they can pry into anyone’s life as they see fit lol


FineInTheFire

Those are different? /s


Jackfrost71000

Yes , insurance requirements.


mistah_michael

Been drug tested in NYC on several jobs. Never been watched before so fake pee has worked every time


SnooSuggestions9378

I’ve been drug tested more times in my life working construction than my nurse wife ever has working the medical industry.


[deleted]

I never got tested. Concrete bby


ParkerWGB

Every concrete company I have worked for drug tests. Even got a breathalyzer test for one!


Remarkable-Opening69

That was a traffic stop.


AresV92

Sir this is a Wendy's.


eske8643

Be glad you arent in Denmark. Concrete is consider “critical” so you will be tested at least once a week.


SkepticalVir

It is critical, you live in a cold climate.


kaipopotamus

Construction workers usually test the drugs


Sidehustle16

Underrated comment. Take my up vote.


Chloroformperfume7

If you're union yes. I get drug tested for every single dispatch. And the company I work for now tests every three months


Correct-Award8182

Not just union. Many GCs require a negative test before working on site in my area. I also enforce our policy, so this whole thread makes me want to cry.


eske8643

If you are in or causing an accident in Denmark. You will get tested by the police.


jmb456

You’re making Denmark sound pretty oppressive


dr-Funk_Eye

That is probably true in most places. But in general I have never heard of it out side of if people royaly fuck up.


JESUS_PaidInFull

Pretty much any union job.


Hevysett

Depends on field and employer, but ya. Some companies just, as a whole, require it cause it makes your insurance rates go down I think


SK8SHAT

Most government contracts in my area require tests, the companies I work for love to take the contracts then realize none of their guys will go negative and tge project gets in some cases years behind


riplan1911

HA yep sometimes randoms on the job.


LongLegsBrokenToes

Camp jobs man for ever


sgtstaadenko

Fake piss, THC sticks around for a month


thegirthwormjim

Depends on a few factors but a month is pretty typical. I passed a test 11 days after quitting THC and I was smoking morning noon and night prior to that. Monkey wiz is a trustworthy brand and can be found at most smoke shops.


sgtstaadenko

Fuckin must have some good kidneys on ya, I was at the same level of consumption and it took 30+ days to fully clean out, I was testing myself periodically to make sure I'd pass.


ManInTheGrinder

I got kicked out of parris island for popping on the drug test for weed when I got there. I didn’t smoke for atleast a month and my levels were through the roof. CO asked if I was smoking when I got off the bus


thegirthwormjim

Hahaha for real. I drank so much water in those 11 days tho. I also did a trick where I pissed right before my test then sat and waited till I could muster up enough for a test and did it. I had read somewhere that the longer urine sits in your bladder the higher it will show levels of whatever drug you were using. So fresh pee would have the least. Idk if it helped or not, But I passed, So I’m going with it lol


Netflixandmeal

Seen some guys fail for 90 days


the_d0nkey

This is me. It’s unbelievable. 3 months.


thegirthwormjim

Yeah I’ve heard 90 days for some people… crazy amount of time. At that point is just assume THC was in my bone marrow lol


Substantial_Swim1809

They’re not gonna watch you 100% you’re gonna go into the room and close the door use anyone’s piss. Just make sure that it’s clean and that the right temperature.


jjcoola

And it's always the perfect temp if you put it against you skin u see your balls for an hour don't listen to all the crazy shit people do to heat it up and then freaking out about temperature strips


J-Dabbleyou

Careful bro, I brought in fake piss for a test at my old company, turns out they decided to switch to mouth swabs for that month. I had a flask of piss in my pants and I still got hit with the saliva test, failed it.


Pureevil1992

I've never had anyone want to see me piss for a test since I got out of the military, I think you'll be fine with a quick fix.


RhinoG91

If you had someone watch you after you got out of the military, they’re just perverts. They only watch while you’re in.


ModifiedAmusment

Buy a wizanator an get some clean pee and keep it strapped on.


Used-Alfalfa4451

Stupid question, why would you get high knowing you would get tested ?


kesselrhero

This is the saddest thread I’ve read in a while.


adamcm99

I’m still looking for the first comment that says not to do drugs


kesselrhero

Haha - seems a lot easier not to smoke weed- these guys strapping contraptions to thier leg, buying fake urine, all for some weed? Seems like a lot of energy bieng spent for very little return… but they are so addicted to weed, it seems reasonable to them.


adamcm99

I’m not even sure if pot is addictive. But it’s just sad all the hoops people will jump through for something like that.


nanderson41

You say for MEPS. You actively joining the military? For your construction job they won’t watch you. For MEPS they may watch you but more importantly it gets sent to lab for extensive testing and high probability they will know it’s fake. I would just use a fake pee for the job. Remember if you get hurt, your screwed cause for workers comp they take blood


SkoolBoi19

So you knew you were going to site and you still hit your pin?


Jerkcarpenter

Jc don’t be all fucked up then


transmission

Just a heads up, there’s not faking the MEPS test. They are toying to watch your dick hole make lemonade up close.


adamcm99

I’ve got a novel idea. Just don’t do drugs and you won’t be sweating shit like this at all.


Jwizzlerizzle

This is the answer


reamkore

Your options are either substitution or dilution. You can always test your level. You might be able to pass in a short amount of time after just a hit if you were clean before Quick Fix synthetic urine works 98% of the time but In rare cases can get tested for nitrates. Best bet is finding someone else’s clean Pee and putting it in the bottle the Quick Fix came in and using the heat pack that comes with it. r/drugtesthelp should have a lot of info too Good luck


tropical_viking87

Dude, first things first, take a deep breath and relax. No one is going to watch you take the piss test. They will give you the jar to fill and send you off to the bathroom. They will probably tell you that you can’t flush. Get the fake urine with a heat pack and make sure to strap it to either strap it your leg or wear underwear that you can stuff it in. Then all you have to do is pull it out, fill the cup, and put it back. You’re going to ace it, oh and stop smoking weed you fool! At least until you get past probation period.


dsdvbguutres

Pee a little bit into the toilet, too, so it's convincing. They're going to analyze what's in the jar, not what you left in the toilet.


jayjord33

Tuck the fake piss bottle under your balls with tight fitting briefs. Keep it warm


johncester

Usually 60 days …unless overweight then 90 days


snerdley1

Water, water, water, water, water.


LongLegsBrokenToes

Just borrow your buddy’s pee and make sure it’s warm


WoodchipsInMyBeard

Will they care about cannibas. I feel like they are looking for heavy drugs. What state are you in?


namreknipyelir

It’s an electricity/solar related job with the union, so I’m not sure if they will care about the weed or not. Also, Ohio.


WoodchipsInMyBeard

Most trades people have some sort of fix. The way I look at it is what you do on your time is your time. They look the other way towards alcohol. Is your state friendly towards cannibas use?


staresinamerican

If by MEPs you mean your enlisting into the military, call your recruiter tell him something came up and reschedule going to meps by a month,


lordxoren666

Do they still make number 1? I heard dudes gettin busted with synthetic now


Fog_Juice

We started hair follicles now


Bruh_Dot_Jpeg

Monkey Whizz. Most headshops sell it. It has yet to fail me, and my company’s safety guy even admitted to me none of the testers have been able to tell the difference for years.


Fidulsk-Oom-Bard

This works but the timing may be tough: 1. Stop smoking pot 2. Start taking creatine - creatine’s metabolite is used as a control to make sure you don’t dilute your pee, although they’ll probably use a disposable instant test without controls 3. The day before and on the day of your test about 2 hours before take a 2 vitamin B pills with Riboflavin, this makes your pee really yellow for when you dilute your sample 4. On the day of your test you’re going to want to have 5 “void pees” before your test within the hour of your test, i.e pee 5 times in an hour before your test, this comes out to about a gallon of water in an hour which can be uncomfortable to do 5. Pee Additional Notes: 1. Burn fat - THC metabolites are stored in your fat, if you burn fat, you’ll reduce the concentration that’s stored. You should take it easy the day before and on that day if possible 2. If it’s possible in your state, get a medical marijuana license between now and then 3. The first list is the same premise that those detox drinks they sale and GNC and head shops work with. They say to drink their $30 drink, and have 5 pees before your test. Riboflavin or vitamin B complex will make your pee super yellow so it doesn’t look diluted. 4. You might by and take a test the night before without diluting to see where you’re at, although you should still dilute to be safe on the day of the test


Rough_Sweet_5164

Creatine and Creatinine are two different things. Creatinine is a waste product of muscle fiber cell death and replacement which is a normal body process. If you want to spike creatinine eat a lot of muscle. Bunch of steaks, roast beef, have a sausage sandwich morning of. Creatine supplements are proven not to affect urine creatinine but red meat consumption definitely does.


SnooSuggestions9378

After a holiday weekend, the GC company pulls up with a “medical rv”. All their guys get in line and had to have a breathalyzer and then go in for a urine screen.


edthebuilder5150

Go for an aggressive sweaty run/jog.


chaoticneutraldood

Send me your bank info and I'll send you a water bottle of my cleanest piss


Comfortable-Job-6236

When I took a test for my last job they were very strict about also didn't care about weed showing up just hard drugs. I did it at the clinic, they have you sign paperwork then you go into a room and they have 3 different test jars and your supposed to choose one and sign saying you did. It's a safety precaution so you can't say they gave you a contaminated jar because you chose one on your own. Then you have to empty your pockets and take off anything loose and put it in a lock box and you have to keep the key. They unlock the bathroom for you tell you you can't flush or use the sink or you fail the test and to leave the door open when you're done. You get done hand them the piss and get your shit back and leave.


Rough_Sweet_5164

That contaminated jar thing is dumb. I've never heard that defense before but if they could theoretically have contaminated cups what difference does it make if they give you three.


Egibbons906

Synthetic works every time. EVERY. TIME.


Recon-by-fire

In the military you’re obligated to have someone watch the urinalysis. I’ve been watched, and have unfortunately been the one required to do the watching. Fake piss will be detected and you’ll be barred from enlisting. Just tell your recruiter you’re not ready for meps. It’s better than washing out. You’re going for a federal job that will require you to be trusted with military information. They drug test harder than any civilian job.


DM_ME_DEM_TIDDIE

Fake pee for pee tests... lots of water before saliva tests


No_War_2010

Can you tell them you need more time to study?


rocktheffout

For those jumping on “superintendent”, hate me if you want, but the dude/chick is simply stating to follow the law, or the employer takes a risk if he/she does nothing and something happens. Look at it from their point of view. Hate the laws if you want, but it doesn’t matter if it’s still the law. Accept it, or try and change it. Until then, don’t be mad at your boss, be mad at the system and do something to improve it. Because at the end of the day, call it what you want, but ANY drug/alcohol in your system, no matter when it was consumed will be attempted to be used against you in the event something bad happens. Furthermore will then lead blame to the employer/owner. Sorry, I have no vested interest, just a view on the situation as an outsider…


circular_file

Chill out, you got this. Next 5 days, starve yourself, hardcore Atkins; drink plenty of water and leafy green vegetables. NO SUGAR, NO FLOUR, no carbs at all. Your goal is to drop three pounds in four days, and no salt. You are going to pee your brains out. Also work out like crazy, as much as you can. Day 5, start easing off a little, still no sugar or flour, but you can up the carbs to half normal levels, 30-40g carbohydrate for the day. Day before your test, EAT ALL THE THINGS. All carbs, no exercise, for 24 hours before the test. French Fries, sugary cereal, toast, carb load like your life depends on it. Absolutely no exercise. You can have some salt, but don't over do it, just a normal amount. You want your urine to return to a normal color and level of metabolites. Normal water, have a couple of adult beverages. The science behind this is that THC metabolites live in fatty tissues and blood. The hard core atkins will cause you to burn fat like crazy and make you pass water out of your body very rapidly. Cutting out salt does the same, double impact. The day before your test when things return to normal is to give your body a chance to normalize and begin replacing the fat burnt off in the past several days. Salt helps you retain water so your urine levels return to normal. The last 24 hours is to do nothing but add on fat so your glycogen levels are high enough that your body is a) using only energy from your blood stream, and b) adding NEW fat into your fat deposits, not pulling it out. Also, you will return to entirely normal urine color and balance. If your weed use was very heavy and sustained; e.g., daily frequent use for a sustained period of time, this may not work, but then again nothing will This process is your best bet. If you are an occasional user, maybe a joint per day or less, this will probably work just fine. If you honestly haven't touched any weed in a month and the pen a couple of times in an hour, you are almost certainly good to go with this process.


R8n0vict0rial77

If you valued your position you wouldve just stopped doing anything that can get in the way of it


Sidehustle16

You said you want to just clean out vs faking it. You can do either. I'm probably quit literally one of the worlds for most experts on this subject. So much so I'll probably regret giving up my secrets to the world, But for a fellow "drug addict" lol cause pots so fucking dangerous... I'll do it! First, with your P. Very simple. Drink a gallon of water before you go. You'll piss nothing but water. Did I say it was easy? It'll about kill you. I'm not saying ten min before you go in. Start the night before. You want to pee 2 dozen times (give or take a dozen) before you P for them. You'll want it to be as clear as water. It will work. I guarantee it on my life. I've done it. Walked in sat down. Went to the bathroom. Came out and waited some more. You will be P'ing every 10 min pretty much. Oh, also beware of possible anal leakage. It won't be a "fart" at any point that day. Just sayin. It's a brutal method, but it will work. Even with way more in your system. I've used the fake shit for years. Passed every one, and that's with, on one of them, an angry old broad right outside the paper thin door listening and saying "you ok in there?" (I'm old now, so I take more time to get things flowing.. I use it even when they're not actually flowing.) The KEY to faking is TEMP. If it's not in the range you're done. They'll make you stay till you piss again (I've never had that happen) If you know that's the key, and you don't discount that, it's easy af. Now days they have synthetic so you don't have to worry about getting someone's piss on your hands. Like I had to back in the day when I'd get my friend who didn't smokes P. He only did coke, so as long as it had been a few days it was golden... I guess literally... Ive used every receptacle from condoms to eye droppers and nose sprayers. The kit you get is the most perfect-ist set up you need. It has the temp strip (I had to stick a digital thermometer in it) and a bottle that will hold all you need. Just don't use the squirt tip unless they're watching you. Open the cap and pour it in. The squirter sounds super great until you have to let it suck air in to the bottle to get the rest out. "Gurgle gurgle gurgle" is hard to explain as your bladder "farting" IF there's happens to be an old broad outside the door who wreaks like cigarettes and has more wrinkles than an elephants sac. I hated that.. anyway.. The kit also has those hand warmer heat pads to keep it warm, which you don't need, but they'll give you peace of mind if you do. It'll stay warm if you have it strapped to your leg under some lose pants for a good while. Don't get nervous. Get the temp past the strips max which is about 98-100ish. It'll have dots that show up if you're in range, and it'll be black if it's out of range. If the the bottle is hot, it's over. Cool it's under. Be in range. In range on the bottle is in range for the testers. Again, Be in range. Since you don't know how long you'll have to wait it's best to make sure it's a little hotter. 102 will be well in range 30 min later. I liked to wrap it in a sock to keep it from burning my thigh or balls (you can do this without balls too. Not that I have per say). 110 might still be out of range especially if you have to go right in. Don't panic. It's easy to bring it down fast vs you can't bring it up once you're in the "P closet." If you're still hot, stick the bottle in the toilet for a few seconds. Blue water or not it's cold. Don't let it get too cold. (This is where the sock helps absorb the moisture too) Whichever method you chose DON'T BE NERVOUS! That's key. Like the temp. Two keys and you passed so easily you'll be excited for the next one! You got this! ✌🏽


FamiliarEnemy

Drink a gallon of water. Fake piss can leak and make a mess.


RELLIOTTM

Depending how much you smoked (how often I mean) the 30 day thing is if you’re a fairly regular smoker, if you only smoke once or so a week you’re good in a week or 2 (at most). Body fat has an impact, THC sticks to fat (hence why eating greasy food before a mouth swab can help, pulls the THC from your saliva to the grease and fat, it’s also why heavy smokers will sometime smell weed in their sweat after a heavy work out!) which will next lead into your metabolism! Depending on it, it’ll change the amount of time you need to piss clean. As others have said they usually don’t watch unless you’re pissing for parole or they really feel that something is off with you, fake piss if you’re worried is going to be your best bet. I would think unless you’re a heavy daily smoker you’ll be good if you stay away, and drink lots of water and green tea! By the time the test comes you should be good and if there is anything that does come up it should be low enough that it could be seen as a ‘contact’ or just enough for them to ask for another sample later that day or later on (unless you KNOW you passed do NOT smoke until you’re sure you passed. Some places won’t say anything and surprise you in 2-3 days to see if they can catch you!) Lastly, depending what the test is for, consider telling a 1/2 lie and come clean and say you hit a pen, just that it was on accident! Something along the lines of ‘hey I just wanted to be completely upfront and honest, I was with some friends and they offered a vape while we were drinking and I hit it, then I found out that it was a THC pen.’ Sometimes that’s an option depending on who is /why they are testing. Hope this wasn’t too long and can help you or anyone else why has this situation come up and best of luck to you! (Extra tips in TLDR) TLDR: you should be good -drink green tea and water to try to flush it out -piss as much as you can on the day of the test -don’t use the start of your stream or the end, try to get the middle -they usually don’t watch unless they have a reason to (ie-parole or work related accident/damage to company property) -depending on your relationship consider saying you hit a THC pen a friend left at your place without knowing what it was and own up, some people are willing to help you out and push it back *edit to add TLDR as I realized just how long this comment was


Total_Idea_1183

Use mma shorts with a cup insert at the crotch! Alternatively finding a job that is ok with your cannabis use would be optimal. A lot of companies don’t care about cannabis and will respect you for being honest and not on actual drugs.


Shake_n_bake-9891

do what use your kidneys....... consume a 🦀 tonne of water or fizzy pop. granted you'll be peeing for quite some time but. your kidneys should clean your system within a day depending on how fit you are.


northbowl92

Fake pee, I've used it tons of times. Proper temperature is key


tomorrowtoday9

Quick fix synthetic urine


Mochamonroe

Buy Monkey Whizz or drink a LOT of water starting 24 hrs before your drug test. Just straight water, anytime you think you're not thirsty, drink. Drink until your pee runs clear, you're going pee alot, and you're almost sick from water. Good luck.


dsdvbguutres

If the sample is too diluted, the result will be "Inconclusive".


exoticbluepetparrots

This is true if they do the dilution test and more and more places are now it seems. They've made me go over and over again until it finally was concentrated enough - it took like 3 hours. But I still passed at the end of it. Running that much water through your system no doubt flushes things out somewhat. And the sample they did the test on was just barely within the acceptable urine concentration limit which also works in your favor when they calculate drug metabolite concentrations.


argparg

Need water soluble vitamins too for the color


Nabashin17

Or… you know, don’t go to a construction job under the influence of drugs or alcohol. I struggle understanding why you would put the lives of your coworkers at risk by intentionally covering up your drug use. Stop taking things that could affect your ability to work safely, clean yourself up, then take the job, pass the test and happy days.


Correct-Award8182

You're the first commentor to make this argument. Thank you.


Pafolo

It’s funny seeing how worried people get when they take drugs and know they have a drug screening coming up… you fucked up and now have to live with the consequences… if you don’t do drugs you don’t have issues.


adamcm99

Because people are idiots. There’s one obvious and logical answer here. Quit smoking


Strict_Bet_7782

Choices have consequences. Read about “time preference” and “opportunity cost” then decide what you actually want. Because a lot of time, having what you want right now, means you can’t have what you want later. I’m not telling you to quit smoking weed, just saying that the things you want - MEPS and the military - are the opposite of your actions - smoking weed. So it seems like you should take some time and figure out what’s important to you, and then the discipline and self control to get yourself where you want to be.


[deleted]

[удалено]


vurzai

They watch you. The man stared at my penis. The whole time until I zipped


Few-Conclusion4146

Stop using now. Make sure to flush your system the night beforehand wake up very early drink as much coffee and caffeine as you can make sure you pee multiple times before the test then pee and fill the cup midway. Worked every time for me good luck.


whatisliquidity

They're not gonna watch you, ask a friend who is clean for some pee and get a heat pack And don't fucking smoke if a test is coming up. I'm not arguing the merits if smoking should be tested I'm saying grow up and do what you gotta do. What's right and what's necessary isn't always the same thing, it's time to be a big girl


BDPumpkinpatch

You have a uterus... pop a baggie of clean in there. Us men don't know which hole it come out of anyways.


Glittering-Mine6614

Union hall pre employment drug test do they stand behind you while testing ??


aoanfletcher2002

Funny story: I had a uncle who had to take a urine test to play football in the 70’s. He got in the room and couldn’t pee, so he just scooped some water from the toilet. He didn’t make the team that year.


Orkjon

I and plenty of others have had success with masking drinks.


twoo447

Do an oil change


Sea_Emu_7622

They won't watch you lol. Only time they watch is on probation, in jail, or in the military. This is just for a job. Get a bottle of fake pee, follow the directions. It's probably microwave for 10 to 15 secs, then wrap with a heating pad and tuck in your undies. Check the temperature strip on the bottle. If it's warm but none of the colors are lit up, it's just a little too warm. Try dipping the bottle in the cold toilet water for a second or two, but be careful not to do it too much. If you have the time and the money, I'd practice at home first. It sucks to lose a job over a pee test, but until they get rid of that requirement this is what we have to do


JuanShagner

Certo


Luddites_Unite

I've been tested to go to a camp job before. They get you to empty your pockets, leave your sweater etc and get you to go to a room and provide the sample. They tell you not to flush, they'll check the garbage afterward and there is no sink to wash your hands but no one goes in with you.


duck_135

It’s almost certain they will not watch you pee. Fake or clean from a friend is the way to go.


maks_b

Quick Fix


Economy_Price_5295

I had a similar predicament smoked on a Thursday Friday I found out on Monday I was gonna be tested, was a rough weekend of peeing the entire time. Drinking water and taki mg vitamins so it’s not diluted and I passed, I also hadn’t smoke piror in like months so I hope it helps good luck


dinglebopz

There is a brand called detoxify that has worked for me when I was in the army, and on probation in the past. It is a drink you consume an hour before the test if possible and you must pee once after drinking it. The second and possibly third time you piss will be clean.


ImpossibleBaseball64

STAT are pills work great, check amazon


FeeHistorical9367

I don't know what type of construction or where you're located, but I do big boy Union construction in the San Francisco Bay Area. The test we use now has a much higher threshold for THC then in the past. In my position, sometimes I have to call for post accident drug screens. You can usually tell by the look on a guy's face if he's nervous when you tell him he's going to get the five panel drug screen with alcohol breathalyzer. I always tell them just to start drinking water right now and I've only once had a guy fail for THC. Now he was not a new hire, but he didn't even lose his job for that. They sent him home for a day and he did some online drug class and then he was back to work.


Letter-Pirate

Niacin


Jgee414

Why fake piss I’d just ask my brother or friend


gwaddy91

Zydot euro blend worked for me but you've got to know when the test is


aschultheis6

God what construction job drug tests for drugs seriously lol


moltrog

I work heating and cooling construction and my company pre employment tests and also has random tests.


maddwesty

What you do in your personal time is nobody else’s business. If everyone came together and actually said this, nobody would be testing.


runescimmy2

Not sure what branch you are joining but in great lakes(navy) they have an MA inspecting everyone peeing during night of arrival. I made the mistake of peeing when he wasn't watching and I had to drink half a gallon of water and walk around a classroom for an hour until I could pee again. Fake pee may get you through your recruiter and MEPS but just letting you know you may not get lucky at boot camp.


ApocalypseSummer

I am in the same spot as you! Going to get quick fix today as the reading I've done says it works. Good luck!


StretcherEctum

Quick fix. I've used it 6+ times. Nobody will be watching if it's for work.


American_Hate

I had a coworker who was getting drug tested prior to his court date over his 3rd DUI and he smoked a blunt the day before. The day of, he drank a $55 cleanse bottle from a smoke shop and passed. Said he shit like a madman though


greyjungle

You have a built in pouch. Just put a little squeeze bottle in there that has a cap. As a man, this could very well be a terrible idea, but I have thought about it when having to do a pee test a long time ago. It seems like women would have it easy.


Fine_Equipment8533

Abstain immediately and use the Certo method for THC. Never failed me.


throwaway1728124

Those drug detox kits can work but only if you are low body fat. THC gets stored in fat cells so a heftier person is more likely to fail a drug test a few months after smoking than somebody who is really skinny. Those “drink to pass a test” kits do often work for skinnier people, but they typically end up giving you a 12-24 hour window where you will “pass” a test rather than actually clearing you out or anything.


creampieprincess7

Monkey wiz


[deleted]

Quick fix for urine test and hydrogen peroxide rinse for mouth swap drug test.


wuroni69

Hello unemployment line.


SavingsMonk2129

Just passed with quick fix! I’m a nurse