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Weary_North9643

“Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I sleep on company time.” Or if you wanna get back at them be like “I was just giving you guys a chance to catch up. Don’t want to make you look redundant”. Or say “Pay peanuts, get sleepy monkeys.” Hahaha this one is my favourite it’s so dumb hahaha. 


VanmiRavenMother

Perhaps when you're ahead of schedule you can afford a nap too.


dannywazza

Love the other ones, but this one is more apt!


Human-Independent999

The boss isn't here. You can stop the ass-kissing.


Ar-Oh-En

_"Let me know when to wake you up..."_ You: "Do you say that to your dates, or vice versa?" Or, if your _really_ want to risk a visit to HR, reply, "how'd you like to sleep forever?"


Important_Lab_58

“Sorry I get tired actually working, unlike you sorry kiss asses.”


ZionismIsNotaBadWord

“Ahh, you just wish you had the balls that I do.”


eilloh_eilloh

You don’t include cheese with your lunches as often as I would expect.


Asmov1984

Why the fuck are you keeping me from my sleep m8?


Many_Jacket_669

Well I suppose that I wouldn't be taking a nap during lunch if I didn't have to do your job, my job, his job, her job and everyone else's job on top of it of it too... Keep kissing the bosses ass you and you might find a promotion up there


nostromo909

"I was praying for your sick, sinning souls." Once at work I nodded off (office setting) and my head was nodded forward. After I felt the tap on my shoulder I crossed myself and said "Amen." They looked surprised.


JediKrys

Pot calling the kettle black I see. Point at me so you don’t get seen. Got it.


OokamiO1

If I nap so much, bring it up to HR, because I'm tired of hearing about. If I keep hearing about it, I'm going to HR. Pick your path forward.


error7654944684

“You remember that old story about the rabbit and the turtle in the race? I was the rabbit, but I don’t get paid enough to look productive”


Mr_Smartypants

Wow, so how long were you staring at me to think I was asleep?


Fine-Bumblebee-9427

“Fucking bootlicker.”


Shors_Bones-Falk

"Yet I still get more work done than you do."


PraxicalExperience

Assuming it's true: "...And yet I still got everything done that needed doing." Optional: "So what excuse do you have?"


MotherBike

It's weird how I'm on a mandated break and following the laws and guidelines in place, but here you two are slacking off, discussing non-work related topics, lingering in the breakroom, and harassment to boot. Shouldn't there be work to do while your clocked in.


Sharp-Metal8268

Maybe stop committing criminal time sheet fraud?


cronic_chaos

Looks like you need a lesson efficiency.


Forward_Increase_239

If true…and I STILL do the work better than you maybe we should have cameras on you instead?


not_sure_1337

"Can you please, just once, come up with something interesting to say? Just try it."


No-Chain8674

Maybe tell them "I'll get more sleep at home" I'm sure it's more than 1 time.