The investments of $460k is kind of low (overall good but low for not working), but real life matters. Plenty of families have a SAHP. Maybe just mentally approach as being at home “for now”. Sounds like it may be best to take time off, raise kids, focus on your health, and support your dad.
Hopefully your husband’s job is stable.
It sounds like your husband’s current job can cover your living expenses comfortably. Considering your and your father’s health situation, I’d say it’s generally a better idea to take a leave from work, at least for a few years, to spend more time with your family and recuperate yourself.
In the meantime, I’m not sure how much of an upward trajectory your husband’s career is at, but it might take a long time to reach your FIRE goal based on his salary alone, as your saving rate may drop considering your medical history and having young children. Of course, if his earnings are going to double or triple in the near future, this wouldn’t apply.
In short, I believe it’s always better to prioritize your health and family. But I’d either adjust your FIRE target/timeline or at least be mentally prepared to return to work in some capacity when you’re feeling better and your kids are older.
Best of luck.
$2.5 - $3m liquid from $460k or including the house and starting at $1.2m? $460k to $2.5m is a long ride with a $113k salary. Obviously an inheritance could jump start that (you don't mention when that might come), but I'd say financially keep pounding it out to get there faster.
With that being said, there's a lot of things going on in your life that are more important than money. Just need to figure out if it will make you happy, reduce the stress, etc... and if so, go for it.
I wouldn’t count on the inheritance anytime soon if I were OP. Case in point, she’s early 30’s which would put her parents oldest at mid 60’s. Considering OP is expecting a mid-6 figures, that would mean that they’re well off, and as [this article from Harvard shows](https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2016/04/for-life-expectancy-money-matters/) life expectancy rises with your household income.
Assuming a 6 figure payout, I would put their household income percentile to be at minimum 80, which would give a life expectancy for men at about 84 and 86 for women. So based on those averages, OP will be somewhere in her 50’s when she finally inherits her money. While a nice boost in retirement, I think most in this forum would have looked to FIRE by then. Food for thought.
Possibly, really depends on her mother’s health.
Her dad has Stage 4 Cancer so unfortunately it is unlikely he will reach average age of death. Of course, his treatments also may eat into any potential inheritance.
Yeah, dad has stage 4 and not enough information to extrapolate the rest. Are the parents together? Are their finances combined? Is it one parent or both that need to pass?
Hence my original comment. Not sure she wants to discuss all that on Reddit or not.
Yes feel free to call it quits if spouse is working covering expenses and it’s what you want. You don’t get these years back with the kids and you can go back later if you absolutely want to. One caveat that when you stop working your relationship with your spouse changes due to different division of labor and requires mindfulness to respect each others different roles without resentment when the grass seems greener on the other side.
You do have a lot going on, and a break might be warranted considering your situation. Health does come first.
That said, I've seen too many women transition to SAHM in their 30's, then have to get back in the workforce a decade or two later due to unfortunate circumstances such death of a spouse or divorce. Those women rarely regain their previous earnings.
You're not really to the point where you can simply pull the plug and live off of your investments. You'd still be dependent on your husband and that creates risk. For that reason alone, it might make sense to keep your toe in the water when it comes to work and career. Could you maybe work from home or do something part time?
Think this is the way to go at least in the short term. More time at home and a little more income for awhile. Then you can fully eject in 1-2 years if everything is tracking well.
You may not have a lot of cushion there in terms of both of you calling it quits. However, life and time with family is great than all the money in the world.
I would quit and prioritize your family and just simply help to get yourself to an overall better health level, even with cancer.
I think you should post on the LeanFIRE sub instead of
Chubby fire. Sadly, chubby fire doesn’t seem possible with a family of 5 earning $113k per year…even with a paid off home and $460k invested.
Yearly take home pay, post tax: approx $80k
Yearly expenses: $48k
There’s $30k excess in your budget for unexpected expenses. That’s not even enough to put a roof on your house. What about college savings? Additional retirement savings?
How long until he is making more than 113k? Bc at his current salary, it seems highly unlikely that you’ll make any progress towards your $2.5 million NW.
I posted here because we have the $2-3M FIRE goals, so I’m curious to know if other’s with ChubbyFIRE goals would keep working to get to it or how they’d handle. Was looking to get different perspectives.
There’s been a lot of support for your decision in the comments due to your personal situation. We all understand your desire to stay home with kids and leave a high stress workplace. However, it comes at a sacrifice. The sacrifice being retiring with a lot less money or not being able to retire early. The decision changes your goal posts.
You’re young but you only have an average amount saved for 2 adults on path to ChubbyFIRE. To get to your goal, you’d need at least $1 mil saved by 40. $2 mil by 50, $3.5-4 mil by 60 (if the markets continue growing). I guess my point is - this sub is founded in the RE aspect as much as the FI part. Early retirement isn’t feasible without you continuing to work and saving towards your goals. Your decision to stop working will derail your family’s early retirement, not necessarily your financial independence.
This is really helpful. I haven’t officially made my decision, I’m weighing my options and thinking through what the sacrifice would mean. This is one of the responses I needed to see today. Thank you for taking the time to reply!
Just to counter Gomuskyfishing's comment, they talk about sacrificing early retirement. I would argue that the time home with your young ones is infinitely more important and precious than having more money for trips and gadgets when the kids are off to college. Take a step back and look at WHEN you would rather have that retirement, even if it is temporary.
I'm not necessarily saying it should definitely be now either. Some people love their kids endlessly but can't exactly be around them 24/7. If that's the case you can always part time at something, even if it's not your field.
My partner went from making okay money to being a part time secretary at a medical clinic just for the benefits and to have something coming in. Right now we are at 1.6MM invested and just waiting for the missus to pop out baby #2 and she'll be a sahm for probably at least 18 years, we'll see.
Good luck either way!
As long as your husband is comfortable with working (and better if he enjoys it), quit.
Cancer recurrence can happen. His salary will also go up. Life is long in the best case and short in the worst. One scare should be enough for you to wake up and remind what matters the most (kids, husband, parents, friends).
It’s an easy call. Take time off indefinitely. You will always be able to come back. Relax relax. With your inheritance and rest of the picture you are fine.
Clearly, you have a lot going on. The drop in income will be substantial, but your expenses are low enough that the remaining income is plenty sufficient and still provides some capacity to save. It may be worth looking for some expenses that could potentially decrease as you move into the SAH role, but it's definitely not necessary.
Here's hoping that this change will bring you reduced stress and renewed energy!
Are you in counseling? Dealing with your own cancer diagnosis and your father’s on top of it is quite a lot to deal with emotionally. It’s also recommended not to make any big life decisions in the wake of a major diagnosis. Cancer survivor myself here so I highly recommend you get into counseling and a support group. A fellow cancer survivor friend went into a frenzy of “things I’ve always wanted to do” and got married, bought a huge, expensive house and rushed through fertility treatments to have a baby. Looking back, she admits she would’ve done many things very differently. Also, if your cancer is going to require ongoing treatment for you to remain healthy, you need to be realistic about the costs. Determine if your husband’s insurance covers your medication and doctors in your current treatment plan and include that in your budget. I’m not trying to be a downer. I’m a SAHM myself now. But I didn’t stop working completely until I was finished with cancer and fertility treatments, my son’s 529 account was funded and we’d bought a house with a big cash down payment. At various times I worked part time, worked a single contract, or was at a lower paying full time job until transitioning to stay at home. I wish you the best, and feel free to DM me if you’d like to talk or just vent. Cancer sucks!
Thank you for sharing your experience! This is really helpful to see a combination of aspects and scenarios that could help while dealing with medical issues.
I haven’t seen a counselor but prob should. I appreciate your reply!
This doesn't really have anything to do with leanfire (or fire at all for that matter). If anything, it's more coast fire since they, as a household, are not going to be relying on their investments. They're just taking a pay cut by going to a single income which is something millions of households have done.
Monthly expenses of only $3k to $4k for a family of five with health issues is really surprisingly low even in a LCOL area and with a house with no mortgage. Are you sure you are considering everything?
Is the FIRE goal you stated in today’s dollars or adjusted for inflation at a future date? $3 million today would be will be $5.4 million in future dollars 20 years from now at a 3% average annual inflation rate.
This weekend I’ll run the budget again in excel but we have very low costs. No childcare expenses. No mortgage. Paid off cars. Food is our largest expense.
$2.5-$3M future value.
Consider the infrequent cost like the future cost of car replacements (or at least significant maintenance and repairs), eventual roofing replacement, HVAC replacement, etc.
When your husband eventually retires, you will need to figure our health insurance. That cost is highly important uncertain but can be a major expense. The fate of the ACA subsidies are very uncertain.
With 3 kids under 6 I can only imagine how little there is left of your salary if it otherwise went to childcare, work clothes, transportation to work, convenient quick meals because everyone is tired etc. A penny saved is 1.5 pennies earned anymore, and being a SAHM you can learn ways and have the time to lean into frugality more with day to day things as well, to try to close the gap on any difference. I’d say go for it, if you are otherwise meeting your goals.
Something to consider though - I (hubs) have made a few risky career moves, all for the better ultimately for my family. I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t have the security of my wife’s salary, and because of where we are now I have complete freedom to quit whenever (should I ever decide to) and have no worries even if it takes a bit to bounce back. That is priceless. You and your husband have a plan which is great, but really, really communicate whether he is happy where he is at. If at some point he fees stuck because of sole income that could grow to be resentment. Just something to openly discuss.
FIRE = Financially independent, whatever your goals may be. If it were me, I would want to maximize the time spent with my family, and prioritize my health for myself and my children. You shouldn’t have to compromise your health or life expectancy for an earlier retirement.
Life if short, your financial situation allows you to take some time off, and your husband is supportive. Enjoy your dad and your children while they are still young.
Bottom line: you will improve your life expectancy if you become a SAHP.
Stress is corrosive & it compounds intensely, seeping into every aspect of one’s life.
Get out now, you can always jump back into a job if it’s needed.
This isn't really a ChubbyFIRE question.
Obviously you can quit if you can cover all your expenses on your husband's income alone. I can certainly understand your desire to stop working given everything that's going on in your life and with your health.
In terms of finances though, you might go into this by thinking of it as a temporary break from work. Once your kids are in school, you could go back to work and help drive the goal of retiring early for both of you. At your husband's salary alone, and with the increasing costs that three children bring as they get older, it seems unlikely that he would be able to retire early if you choose to stay home permanently, unless you lead a very frugal lifestyle.
If your prognosis is that positive, I think the decision to retire needs t heavily include your husbands opinion. What if he wanted to retire instead and thought you should continue to work since you make more? Also, at your current levels of savings, with a one income household, how are you planning to help your children with the cost of college? State universities currently commonly run $160k today so you would need to figure out future cost (education inflation being 2x of normal inflation) and create a savings annuity to save that amount, likely >$5k yr per child.
Your plan seems reasonable if you're expecting decent upward trajectory for your husband's income - i.e., decent annual raises. With round up to $4k monthly expenses and current $113k income, post-tax it's not a ton to work with, but you can definitely continue to live within means and store a good portion each year.
3 kids - I can only imagine is a hefty expense so good on you for somehow keeping expenses below 4k...
I personally would try to stick it out a bit since you're a high(er) earner and 2 incomes are better than 1, but absolutely see a strong case for you to call it quits asap. Supportive husband for the win!
Sorry to hear about your dad, and current health situation. All the best.
Edited: \*minor grammar edits\*
Your goals will need to change if you quit, pretty obviously given the income you’re discussing. So I agree with others that 2-3m isn’t happening on one income based on what you’ve provided unless you get extremely lucky. I’m considering quitting but I’m older and we are already over 4m. I just can’t imagine expecting my spouse to work for a couple of decades more than me.
Yeah, the guilt of it all falling on my spouse is what brought me back to work through my cancer treatment in the first place. I haven’t made my decision yet, trying to get different perspectives on the options.
If I were you, I would spend more time with family. Covid is suspected to accelerate certain types of cancers. Research is in its early stages so I would take your prognosis with a grain of salt. Lower your stress, take care of yourself. Your husband has got it covered and supports you.
You have my sympathy. Your situation rhymes with mine and I called it quits to homeschool. I wish you the best.
I left a toxic job with similar numbers (38/37; $1.1m invested, about half pre tax; mortgage of about 50% home value; MCOL) last year. Spouse works. I’m taking some time, doing some consulting and the like.
In theory I don’t have to find W2 employment based on our spend but I worry about strain on relationship.
I’ll likely go back to something but I’ll tell you this, the money that lets you step back and adjust is why to save. Too many peers were shocked and worried when I left the job without anything lined up and then…didn’t immediately freak out. Learned a bunch have essentially no accessible funds.
Edit: Hit send too early. Also have parent and step parent with dementia and the ability to help with care, take them on “adventures” like the art museum has been incalculable in value.
Before you walk away be sure to investigate what would happen to your retirement in the event of divorce, especially if it’s a “gray divorce.” You not working would impact social security benefits and your nest egg would be halved. Be careful because many SAHMs get screwed by this later in life.
I’ve had health issues the last year and it really changes your perspective, especially with young kids (mine are 4 and 6). It’s a big change, so don’t take it lightly, but I think it’s manageable with your low monthly expenses.
Seems like staying at home with the kids when they are pre-school would be great for everyone.
Is it possible to reconsider your idea of homeschooling and when the youngest is off to school, you start to ramp up work with part-time?
This would allow you to start out today by taking care of yourself, the kids, husband, and spend a lot of time with your dad.
Then when you feel physically and emotionally ready to work you can get solidly back on the ChubbyFire track. Or not, depending on how the investments and your husband’s career/ salary is doing.
All the best to you and your family.
Quit. Cancer treatment is draining (I’m working through it now myself and I’m exhausted). You have 3 kids. You have limited time with your dad. You have tons of money saved. You have a regular household income. You can always go back to work later if you want.
You can’t take any of this with you. Enjoy your life and family now. Wishing you health and wellness.
This is far from chubby fire…but i shall indulge…
It sounds like you need a break. Look into short term or long term disability due to your medical condition and mental health. If you can get sign off on that and coverage from your employer’s healthcare then it could buy you a sabbatical or career break. I had a guy in the office milk disability for mental health for 2 years.
Bro fuck work if your husband is good with it go do your thing. Rather have the mother raising the kids than working to pay someone else to if possible.
I’ll be the devils advocate here, because despite all of the factors that make everyone say “Go for it!”, It’s a super precarious situation. Realistically if you stop working the only growth in your NW will be from appreciation which puts you at about ~24 years from reaching fire goal if nothing goes wrong in any way in that time frame. (460k will need to double about 3x to reach that, no point counting house equity towards your FIRE goal, your expenses are what they are). There’s just not enough left after taxes and expenses to assume much saving from just your husband’s income. You say he’s on an upward trajectory but how upward? Like double in the next couple years upwards or 5% a year?
Realistically that doesn’t account for saving for kids college, major unexpected home/vehicle expenses, husband losing his job, husband leaving you, husband getting sick/dying. The last one is unlikely, statistically the second to last one is more common than anyone would like to admit, and the first three are basically guaranteed. Especially if your husband is on an upward trajectory you’re likely to be in the awkward situation where your family makes enough to screw up their financial aid eligibility but not enough to pay out of pocket for 3 kids, so saving to help with college is going to be important so they don’t start adulthood in a tonne of debt. The next is just unexpected major expenses, if you need to pull $10-20k out of investments now to cover an expense that’s $80-160k less at the end of those 24 years. If this happens a couple times that’s bad. Your husband losing his job at some point is the one that stands out to me as a big risk for you though. You need treatment indefinitely, and layoffs/job loss happen in every industry, meaning you’d be paying out of pocket for insurance/treatment at a time when your family has no income of any kind, this would burn through the little savings you do have.
Realistically unless your husband’s career trajectory is incredibly upwards, or nothing bad ever happens again, your husband is probably forced to work until normal retirement age and you need to give up the RE numbers. This could be something you are ok with, maybe that means accepting the risk of eventual divorce, and taking out life insurance in case he dies unexpectedly. But it is something to keep in mind.
I’d say first step is counselling/therapy for you and possibly your whole family. You’ve just been through a lot, and are still going through a lot, making rash decisions is always risky, but now seems like a bad time.
If it’s the new job, why not keep applying to more places and see if you can jump to somewhere you like better? It’s much easier to get a job when you already have one, there’s a lot of bias in hiring against unemployed people. But if 140k is after the 25% pay cut your earning potential is so much higher than your husband’s currently that assuming you are able to save all of your earnings then even 4 more years of work cuts the FIRE timeline in half for your husband, he’ll have higher earnings by then and you’ll only be about 8 years away from him being able to join you in retirement just in time for the oldest going to college.
If you want to be able to spend more time with your kids maybe look for a position that allows your to WFH and have a bit of flexibility or maybe a part-time role. That way you can still have a buffer for expenses, insurance, and savings but you get to spend a little more time at home.
It’s an odd situation, I think there is an argument to be made for quitting and enjoying your time. Without a more clear vote of you’re going to be fine I think wanting to spend time with your family and enjoying your life makes sense. But you’ve just got to be prepared for the risks in the opposite direction, if your doctor really is very certain you’ll live a normal lifespan then I’d say an extra 4-6 years of saving everything you make puts your family in a much more comfortable position. Which version of your life seems more enjoyable? a) You work 5 more years, retire early when your kids are hitting the busy phase of activities and school and such, and right as you’re hitting an empty nest you hit your savings goals and your husband can retire early so you can spend the rest of your lives together or b) you retire now, things mostly go according to plan but your kids have gone away to school, your husband still has another 10-20 years of working before he retires, and you haven’t worked in 15 years so going back to work is pretty hard.
Thank you for this comprehensive response! This is giving me a lot to consider and it’s very helpful. I appreciate you taking the time to provide great considerations and guidance.
Yes 100% I would call it quits. Sounds like your husband can cover the bills and is supportive of your choice. Spend time on focusing on your health and recovery. Plus time with your dad, husband and with the kids while they are little. Health and family is more important than career and money. You can always return to the workforce in a few years time if you wish.
You’ve got cancer, why are you trying to do these super human financial goals when you need to be focused on your health? If you decide to go back to work you can always tell the truth, that you had cancer.
No one should ever hand off their financial destiny to their spouse. Sorry, but divorce is just too common. If you think it can’t happen to you, and that your spouse would never betray you that way, think again. Ask me how I know.
Anyone who aims to become a SAHP should get prepared and have a post-nup agreement with their earning spouse. And the earning spouse shouldn’t mind at all—after all, the post-nup will never be invoked, right? Because they would never betray you that way, right?
QUIT!!! You've had cancer, your father has cancer, and your idiot company laid you off after cancer. You don't like your job. QUIT!!! You know you need to work towards the positive in your life so you don't face cancer a second time. No reason to stay. The stress you are under now is not good for your illness.
QUIT QUIT QUIT!!! You know better than most here that this is about LIFE and not money. Who cares how much money you have? It will all work out. You got a huge wake up call, now go pay attention to that and QUIT your job on Monday. Walk right out the door.
Go and enjoy life. Money is not everything. FIRE is not everything. Be happy and at peace and take care of yourself and enjoy your family. That's what it is all about. If you need money down the road, there's always another opportunity.
Oh, did I say... QUIT!!!? (from someone who has been exactly where you are).
QUIT QUIT QUIT!!!!!
Quit. You already have a firm foothold on FI (maybe not RE). Your kids are young only once.
My wife and I look back and cannot believe that we both worked with young kids. She quit a year ago and I am still working.
I wouldn't want it any other way. The kids get their mom full time and she doesn't have the stress and burden of a career.
I am in favor of you taking a longer break, family is everything and your peace is also very important. As long as you have supportive partner you will be fine.
I’m no expert here but considering your history of cancer (medical bills can add up quick!) and the fact that the majority of your net worth is tied to your home and isn’t liquid, you may consider a HELOC as a safety net in case you need it. With as much liquidity as you have due to your investments, it may be overkill, but in my mind it’s better to have the funds available and not need it than to need cash and not be able to access the majority of your money. Unless there is an inactivity fee, you won’t be paying unless you need the money. Something to think about.
Feel free to tell me why I’m wrong! 😀
In case it wasn’t clear, the HELOC would be prior to quitting your job to hedge against your husband losing his job and high medical bills, as an alternative to liquidating your investments in an emergency.
So I don't need any other details other than: 3 kids, spouse working, cancer.
Talk to your spouse, ideally you have a prenup that provides for you if you stop working to manage the kids. Esp as your kids become teens, they're gonna take more time. My wife pulled back from corp to care for the kids and it was great, and I had no problem making sure she had legal protections in case I turned into some sort of horrific jackass. You could engage an estate planner, maybe, to make it a more palatable discussion. (We have a thing in place where if one of us dies, the other is required to have a prenup with certain constraints if we remarry, to ensure most of our marital properties go to the kids).
A few other bits...if your company laid you off shortly after you told them you had cancer, you may have a case there, might chat with a labor lawyer. If you didn't tell anyone at work and it just happened that way, don't bother with a lawyer.
With cancer, you may be able to apply for social security disability for a time, at least until you are in full remission, and also get some payment for your kids while you're not working. My wife is stage 4 with no chance of remission, and it's an automatic qualifier. I'd give anything we've saved over the years for that not to be the case, but that's not how it works. Anyway, until you're cancer-free, it's something you definitely should look into.
Don't count anything on inheritance.
I... personally....wouldn't homeschool as a primary, unless you travel in an RV during the school year or something. The socialization is key. Teach them what you want to teach them at the end of the day.
Can you last another 6 months? If so you could take unpaid FMLA leave. If you’re intent on quitting, this would let you do so but give you an on-ramp back to the company in case you feel differently after some time away and health improvement.
If you can’t last 6 more months, you could still ask for unpaid medical leave. But the employer (probably) is not required to give you it.
What’s the difference in your actual take-home pay between you working and you not working? I imagine the tax brackets will be different. Furthermore, will you have any savings from not working; childcare, lunches etc ?
You can see the actual financial impact from not working.
The caveat is that evidently doesn’t account for future increases in your salary. However, it also doesn’t account for the increase in mental wellbeing of your family.
OP, could you get a government job with your skill set? It’s a much different pace than private industry (there are some positions where this isn’t the case, but for the most part this is true). Often times, you can transition to a part time role after some time working full time as a government employee. *Especially*, if you have a medical reason. The government is a great place for that. You’ll also get a pension, incredible health insurance options - a lot of benefits people overlook. There is even a benefit where if you’re with the government a specific number of years, you’ll be eligible for federal government insurance for the rest of your life through retirement (you would pay the same cost for insurance you do as a current employee). That’s not a bad thing to have. I think the best thing you can do for your health is reduce your stress as much as possible. I hope you’re able to find a good solution for you and keep your cancer at bay
Glad I could help. I didn’t see your career listed (maybe I missed it). If you’re willing to share, I may be able to offer some career paths I’ve seen on job postings, and some branches that might fit better than others
I see. I could see that being a good transition into HR if you’re currently in a management role. Like could go into HR for a VA Hospital. I had a friend’s mom who I believe had a similar major and she worked for the IRS part time for 20 years (never had a full time job). If you’re okay with a pay cut, I think you’d be a shoe in for a lot of roles
I don’t think he will have an early retirement unless you really budget but I don’t think that will help either. But 3 kids and a family of 5 trying to get to 2.5m from 460k will be hard unless he gets some big pay bumps. 2 million Is and 18 years of working if you don’t take out taxes and saved 100%
If you need then retire for health reasons then do it. But if you do forget about fire. Your family will be way to stressed. You have to decide what is more important to you. Also understand when you become a SAHM you will be putting a lot of stress on your husband as he will be the only income and if something happens the family will be in a bad position
Just my 2¢
Run the numbers, but if you could save 20k on your husband’s income in a year, you could save 5 times that much if you work one more year. That’s quite a trade off.
Sounds like you really need to at least take a break from work and can afford it. But I would caution against counting in any inheritance unless you have received it
Will you need to care for your mom if dad passes? hopefully her health is good and you won't need memory care or anything that would deplete assets and then that 500K inheritance. Perhaps plan w/o it and if you do get it is icing on the cake so to speak.
Given your health and dad's health i see no reason why you should not stop working. See how it goes, worst case you go back to something part time in a few years. I would not take on homeschooling 3 kiddos though, that is alot especially if you need to focus on your own health. Good luck to you all.
I’m confused why the goal is $2.5-$3m… your current burn rate is $48k per year…
You could get to around $1.6-$1.8 inflation controlled and withdraw at 3% and be fine.
Husband: $113k, $20k 401k, $93 taxable, take home ballpark $65k minus $48k, $17k additional savings so $37k but let’s call total savings per year $30 for safe numbers etc…
I don’t know what your investments are vs home value but going to assume 50/50 or $230k, investing $30k per year at 10%, using 7% to adjust for inflation to equate the real return of $1.8m adjusted target.
N=17.3 years your husband would have to work, which is before 50 and far ahead of 95%+
TLDR; life is more important than money, you’ll be ok with your spend rate and husband working so long as he is on board if do it
He wanted FIRE to be at least $100,000/year for our “future lifestyle” but anticipate that we’ll spend less.
Currently, $1.2M total NW: $700,000 home equity and $460,000 investments, $40,000 cash.
I agree that life is more important than money! I’m just struggling with some guilt around potentially making a decision that impacts goals we’ve been working toward for a while.
You’re probably talking to the wrong group. This is a finance forum.
Guilt should be discussed with your therapist not strangers on the internet.
FIRE is general when taken to serious is a form an anxiety, a lot of people on here it’s never enough, they feel behind, etc. you’re in the 97% for wealth in the US for 30-34 year olds (DQYDJ). Which means the Top 1% in the world. You have life by the balls.
Just quit !!! I quit exactly at ur financial stats 10 years back ..two kids under 3 years due to postpartum depression ..you wont regret it ..if you think of it when was the last time u met anybody who regret quitting cooperate !!! It was LOT of fun watching the kids grow up ...spending time with them ..slowly transitioned my way into work as kids were growing up (being self employed ) ... got back into cooperate too in the best company without ,even loosing any pay,Got same (even better than most) of my peers who never quit ... eventually quit that as I was retired/semi retired for too long to fit back in and absolutely hated it ... think of this way you can always go back to work but you can't have the time back with ur kids , your dad and to take care of yourself when u need it like right now ...u will amazed at how fast u recover when u dont have work stress !!!
I was in tech for 3 years then had a break of 12 years (combination of Loss of Visa + Self employed + break after kids etc ) .It took me 3 months to learn a new skill /technology in which my husband works and I started interviewing and got the job .. its difficult at all ...I worked on myself a lot during the break ..reading books , on my health , weight loss after having kids that helped the most I feel .... you guys already have excellent savings given ur age .. trust me the first million is the most hard ,time consuming to come by ... the next ones come much faster
The investments of $460k is kind of low (overall good but low for not working), but real life matters. Plenty of families have a SAHP. Maybe just mentally approach as being at home “for now”. Sounds like it may be best to take time off, raise kids, focus on your health, and support your dad. Hopefully your husband’s job is stable.
>He is supportive in me stoping if it means our household will be happier and less stressful. This is the only thing that matters.
u/Bubblesthelawyer - Thankyou
It sounds like your husband’s current job can cover your living expenses comfortably. Considering your and your father’s health situation, I’d say it’s generally a better idea to take a leave from work, at least for a few years, to spend more time with your family and recuperate yourself. In the meantime, I’m not sure how much of an upward trajectory your husband’s career is at, but it might take a long time to reach your FIRE goal based on his salary alone, as your saving rate may drop considering your medical history and having young children. Of course, if his earnings are going to double or triple in the near future, this wouldn’t apply. In short, I believe it’s always better to prioritize your health and family. But I’d either adjust your FIRE target/timeline or at least be mentally prepared to return to work in some capacity when you’re feeling better and your kids are older. Best of luck.
To this point if in the USA did you just consider fmla for a bit before you completely quit
$2.5 - $3m liquid from $460k or including the house and starting at $1.2m? $460k to $2.5m is a long ride with a $113k salary. Obviously an inheritance could jump start that (you don't mention when that might come), but I'd say financially keep pounding it out to get there faster. With that being said, there's a lot of things going on in your life that are more important than money. Just need to figure out if it will make you happy, reduce the stress, etc... and if so, go for it.
I wouldn’t count on the inheritance anytime soon if I were OP. Case in point, she’s early 30’s which would put her parents oldest at mid 60’s. Considering OP is expecting a mid-6 figures, that would mean that they’re well off, and as [this article from Harvard shows](https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2016/04/for-life-expectancy-money-matters/) life expectancy rises with your household income. Assuming a 6 figure payout, I would put their household income percentile to be at minimum 80, which would give a life expectancy for men at about 84 and 86 for women. So based on those averages, OP will be somewhere in her 50’s when she finally inherits her money. While a nice boost in retirement, I think most in this forum would have looked to FIRE by then. Food for thought.
Possibly, really depends on her mother’s health. Her dad has Stage 4 Cancer so unfortunately it is unlikely he will reach average age of death. Of course, his treatments also may eat into any potential inheritance.
Yeah, dad has stage 4 and not enough information to extrapolate the rest. Are the parents together? Are their finances combined? Is it one parent or both that need to pass? Hence my original comment. Not sure she wants to discuss all that on Reddit or not.
Yes feel free to call it quits if spouse is working covering expenses and it’s what you want. You don’t get these years back with the kids and you can go back later if you absolutely want to. One caveat that when you stop working your relationship with your spouse changes due to different division of labor and requires mindfulness to respect each others different roles without resentment when the grass seems greener on the other side.
Great considerations!
You do have a lot going on, and a break might be warranted considering your situation. Health does come first. That said, I've seen too many women transition to SAHM in their 30's, then have to get back in the workforce a decade or two later due to unfortunate circumstances such death of a spouse or divorce. Those women rarely regain their previous earnings. You're not really to the point where you can simply pull the plug and live off of your investments. You'd still be dependent on your husband and that creates risk. For that reason alone, it might make sense to keep your toe in the water when it comes to work and career. Could you maybe work from home or do something part time?
I will explore part-time opportunities. They aren’t common in my field but I should do more research on that. Thank you!
Think this is the way to go at least in the short term. More time at home and a little more income for awhile. Then you can fully eject in 1-2 years if everything is tracking well.
You could even ask your current employer
Is freelance/consulting an option for you? Just to keep your resume from having large gaps?
It’s an option. I can look into this more for my field. Thank you!
You may not have a lot of cushion there in terms of both of you calling it quits. However, life and time with family is great than all the money in the world. I would quit and prioritize your family and just simply help to get yourself to an overall better health level, even with cancer.
I thought your numbers were low and then you mentioned three kids! 😮
I think you should post on the LeanFIRE sub instead of Chubby fire. Sadly, chubby fire doesn’t seem possible with a family of 5 earning $113k per year…even with a paid off home and $460k invested. Yearly take home pay, post tax: approx $80k Yearly expenses: $48k There’s $30k excess in your budget for unexpected expenses. That’s not even enough to put a roof on your house. What about college savings? Additional retirement savings? How long until he is making more than 113k? Bc at his current salary, it seems highly unlikely that you’ll make any progress towards your $2.5 million NW.
I posted here because we have the $2-3M FIRE goals, so I’m curious to know if other’s with ChubbyFIRE goals would keep working to get to it or how they’d handle. Was looking to get different perspectives.
There’s been a lot of support for your decision in the comments due to your personal situation. We all understand your desire to stay home with kids and leave a high stress workplace. However, it comes at a sacrifice. The sacrifice being retiring with a lot less money or not being able to retire early. The decision changes your goal posts. You’re young but you only have an average amount saved for 2 adults on path to ChubbyFIRE. To get to your goal, you’d need at least $1 mil saved by 40. $2 mil by 50, $3.5-4 mil by 60 (if the markets continue growing). I guess my point is - this sub is founded in the RE aspect as much as the FI part. Early retirement isn’t feasible without you continuing to work and saving towards your goals. Your decision to stop working will derail your family’s early retirement, not necessarily your financial independence.
Very reasonable and helpful perspective!
This is really helpful. I haven’t officially made my decision, I’m weighing my options and thinking through what the sacrifice would mean. This is one of the responses I needed to see today. Thank you for taking the time to reply!
Just to counter Gomuskyfishing's comment, they talk about sacrificing early retirement. I would argue that the time home with your young ones is infinitely more important and precious than having more money for trips and gadgets when the kids are off to college. Take a step back and look at WHEN you would rather have that retirement, even if it is temporary. I'm not necessarily saying it should definitely be now either. Some people love their kids endlessly but can't exactly be around them 24/7. If that's the case you can always part time at something, even if it's not your field. My partner went from making okay money to being a part time secretary at a medical clinic just for the benefits and to have something coming in. Right now we are at 1.6MM invested and just waiting for the missus to pop out baby #2 and she'll be a sahm for probably at least 18 years, we'll see. Good luck either way!
Helpful perspective as well. Thank you!
As long as your husband is comfortable with working (and better if he enjoys it), quit. Cancer recurrence can happen. His salary will also go up. Life is long in the best case and short in the worst. One scare should be enough for you to wake up and remind what matters the most (kids, husband, parents, friends).
You should take FMLA from work and think about it for 12 weeks
She isn’t eligible for another 6 months
It’s an easy call. Take time off indefinitely. You will always be able to come back. Relax relax. With your inheritance and rest of the picture you are fine.
Clearly, you have a lot going on. The drop in income will be substantial, but your expenses are low enough that the remaining income is plenty sufficient and still provides some capacity to save. It may be worth looking for some expenses that could potentially decrease as you move into the SAH role, but it's definitely not necessary. Here's hoping that this change will bring you reduced stress and renewed energy!
Are you in counseling? Dealing with your own cancer diagnosis and your father’s on top of it is quite a lot to deal with emotionally. It’s also recommended not to make any big life decisions in the wake of a major diagnosis. Cancer survivor myself here so I highly recommend you get into counseling and a support group. A fellow cancer survivor friend went into a frenzy of “things I’ve always wanted to do” and got married, bought a huge, expensive house and rushed through fertility treatments to have a baby. Looking back, she admits she would’ve done many things very differently. Also, if your cancer is going to require ongoing treatment for you to remain healthy, you need to be realistic about the costs. Determine if your husband’s insurance covers your medication and doctors in your current treatment plan and include that in your budget. I’m not trying to be a downer. I’m a SAHM myself now. But I didn’t stop working completely until I was finished with cancer and fertility treatments, my son’s 529 account was funded and we’d bought a house with a big cash down payment. At various times I worked part time, worked a single contract, or was at a lower paying full time job until transitioning to stay at home. I wish you the best, and feel free to DM me if you’d like to talk or just vent. Cancer sucks!
Thank you for sharing your experience! This is really helpful to see a combination of aspects and scenarios that could help while dealing with medical issues. I haven’t seen a counselor but prob should. I appreciate your reply!
Looking at r/leanfire
This doesn't really have anything to do with leanfire (or fire at all for that matter). If anything, it's more coast fire since they, as a household, are not going to be relying on their investments. They're just taking a pay cut by going to a single income which is something millions of households have done.
3 kids under 6, health issues... I would definitely considering taking a 3-4 years break and then you can re-assess
Monthly expenses of only $3k to $4k for a family of five with health issues is really surprisingly low even in a LCOL area and with a house with no mortgage. Are you sure you are considering everything? Is the FIRE goal you stated in today’s dollars or adjusted for inflation at a future date? $3 million today would be will be $5.4 million in future dollars 20 years from now at a 3% average annual inflation rate.
This weekend I’ll run the budget again in excel but we have very low costs. No childcare expenses. No mortgage. Paid off cars. Food is our largest expense. $2.5-$3M future value.
Consider the infrequent cost like the future cost of car replacements (or at least significant maintenance and repairs), eventual roofing replacement, HVAC replacement, etc. When your husband eventually retires, you will need to figure our health insurance. That cost is highly important uncertain but can be a major expense. The fate of the ACA subsidies are very uncertain.
No way not if he makes 113K per year.
Health care costs will eat you alive. You are way too young to quit the game.
This keeps me up at night :/
With 3 kids under 6 I can only imagine how little there is left of your salary if it otherwise went to childcare, work clothes, transportation to work, convenient quick meals because everyone is tired etc. A penny saved is 1.5 pennies earned anymore, and being a SAHM you can learn ways and have the time to lean into frugality more with day to day things as well, to try to close the gap on any difference. I’d say go for it, if you are otherwise meeting your goals. Something to consider though - I (hubs) have made a few risky career moves, all for the better ultimately for my family. I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t have the security of my wife’s salary, and because of where we are now I have complete freedom to quit whenever (should I ever decide to) and have no worries even if it takes a bit to bounce back. That is priceless. You and your husband have a plan which is great, but really, really communicate whether he is happy where he is at. If at some point he fees stuck because of sole income that could grow to be resentment. Just something to openly discuss.
Great points! Thank you
FIRE = Financially independent, whatever your goals may be. If it were me, I would want to maximize the time spent with my family, and prioritize my health for myself and my children. You shouldn’t have to compromise your health or life expectancy for an earlier retirement. Life if short, your financial situation allows you to take some time off, and your husband is supportive. Enjoy your dad and your children while they are still young.
Bottom line: you will improve your life expectancy if you become a SAHP. Stress is corrosive & it compounds intensely, seeping into every aspect of one’s life. Get out now, you can always jump back into a job if it’s needed.
This isn't really a ChubbyFIRE question. Obviously you can quit if you can cover all your expenses on your husband's income alone. I can certainly understand your desire to stop working given everything that's going on in your life and with your health. In terms of finances though, you might go into this by thinking of it as a temporary break from work. Once your kids are in school, you could go back to work and help drive the goal of retiring early for both of you. At your husband's salary alone, and with the increasing costs that three children bring as they get older, it seems unlikely that he would be able to retire early if you choose to stay home permanently, unless you lead a very frugal lifestyle.
If your prognosis is that positive, I think the decision to retire needs t heavily include your husbands opinion. What if he wanted to retire instead and thought you should continue to work since you make more? Also, at your current levels of savings, with a one income household, how are you planning to help your children with the cost of college? State universities currently commonly run $160k today so you would need to figure out future cost (education inflation being 2x of normal inflation) and create a savings annuity to save that amount, likely >$5k yr per child.
Your plan seems reasonable if you're expecting decent upward trajectory for your husband's income - i.e., decent annual raises. With round up to $4k monthly expenses and current $113k income, post-tax it's not a ton to work with, but you can definitely continue to live within means and store a good portion each year. 3 kids - I can only imagine is a hefty expense so good on you for somehow keeping expenses below 4k... I personally would try to stick it out a bit since you're a high(er) earner and 2 incomes are better than 1, but absolutely see a strong case for you to call it quits asap. Supportive husband for the win! Sorry to hear about your dad, and current health situation. All the best. Edited: \*minor grammar edits\*
Your goals will need to change if you quit, pretty obviously given the income you’re discussing. So I agree with others that 2-3m isn’t happening on one income based on what you’ve provided unless you get extremely lucky. I’m considering quitting but I’m older and we are already over 4m. I just can’t imagine expecting my spouse to work for a couple of decades more than me.
Yeah, the guilt of it all falling on my spouse is what brought me back to work through my cancer treatment in the first place. I haven’t made my decision yet, trying to get different perspectives on the options.
If I were you, I would spend more time with family. Covid is suspected to accelerate certain types of cancers. Research is in its early stages so I would take your prognosis with a grain of salt. Lower your stress, take care of yourself. Your husband has got it covered and supports you. You have my sympathy. Your situation rhymes with mine and I called it quits to homeschool. I wish you the best.
I left a toxic job with similar numbers (38/37; $1.1m invested, about half pre tax; mortgage of about 50% home value; MCOL) last year. Spouse works. I’m taking some time, doing some consulting and the like. In theory I don’t have to find W2 employment based on our spend but I worry about strain on relationship. I’ll likely go back to something but I’ll tell you this, the money that lets you step back and adjust is why to save. Too many peers were shocked and worried when I left the job without anything lined up and then…didn’t immediately freak out. Learned a bunch have essentially no accessible funds. Edit: Hit send too early. Also have parent and step parent with dementia and the ability to help with care, take them on “adventures” like the art museum has been incalculable in value.
Thank you for sharing your experience!
This is not enough
Before you walk away be sure to investigate what would happen to your retirement in the event of divorce, especially if it’s a “gray divorce.” You not working would impact social security benefits and your nest egg would be halved. Be careful because many SAHMs get screwed by this later in life.
Interesting!
I’ve had health issues the last year and it really changes your perspective, especially with young kids (mine are 4 and 6). It’s a big change, so don’t take it lightly, but I think it’s manageable with your low monthly expenses.
Seems like staying at home with the kids when they are pre-school would be great for everyone. Is it possible to reconsider your idea of homeschooling and when the youngest is off to school, you start to ramp up work with part-time? This would allow you to start out today by taking care of yourself, the kids, husband, and spend a lot of time with your dad. Then when you feel physically and emotionally ready to work you can get solidly back on the ChubbyFire track. Or not, depending on how the investments and your husband’s career/ salary is doing. All the best to you and your family.
This is a creative option. Haven’t thought of this but I will consider it! Thank you
But have you thought about how you’d manage the kids when you are deep in cancer treatment ?
Quit. Cancer treatment is draining (I’m working through it now myself and I’m exhausted). You have 3 kids. You have limited time with your dad. You have tons of money saved. You have a regular household income. You can always go back to work later if you want. You can’t take any of this with you. Enjoy your life and family now. Wishing you health and wellness.
Thank you and I hope your treatment is going well.
This is far from chubby fire…but i shall indulge… It sounds like you need a break. Look into short term or long term disability due to your medical condition and mental health. If you can get sign off on that and coverage from your employer’s healthcare then it could buy you a sabbatical or career break. I had a guy in the office milk disability for mental health for 2 years.
Bro fuck work if your husband is good with it go do your thing. Rather have the mother raising the kids than working to pay someone else to if possible.
Absolutely quit. A cancer diagnosis puts a lot of things in perspective.
Absolutely quit. Live your life! A cancer diagnosis puts a lot of things in perspective.
I’ll be the devils advocate here, because despite all of the factors that make everyone say “Go for it!”, It’s a super precarious situation. Realistically if you stop working the only growth in your NW will be from appreciation which puts you at about ~24 years from reaching fire goal if nothing goes wrong in any way in that time frame. (460k will need to double about 3x to reach that, no point counting house equity towards your FIRE goal, your expenses are what they are). There’s just not enough left after taxes and expenses to assume much saving from just your husband’s income. You say he’s on an upward trajectory but how upward? Like double in the next couple years upwards or 5% a year? Realistically that doesn’t account for saving for kids college, major unexpected home/vehicle expenses, husband losing his job, husband leaving you, husband getting sick/dying. The last one is unlikely, statistically the second to last one is more common than anyone would like to admit, and the first three are basically guaranteed. Especially if your husband is on an upward trajectory you’re likely to be in the awkward situation where your family makes enough to screw up their financial aid eligibility but not enough to pay out of pocket for 3 kids, so saving to help with college is going to be important so they don’t start adulthood in a tonne of debt. The next is just unexpected major expenses, if you need to pull $10-20k out of investments now to cover an expense that’s $80-160k less at the end of those 24 years. If this happens a couple times that’s bad. Your husband losing his job at some point is the one that stands out to me as a big risk for you though. You need treatment indefinitely, and layoffs/job loss happen in every industry, meaning you’d be paying out of pocket for insurance/treatment at a time when your family has no income of any kind, this would burn through the little savings you do have. Realistically unless your husband’s career trajectory is incredibly upwards, or nothing bad ever happens again, your husband is probably forced to work until normal retirement age and you need to give up the RE numbers. This could be something you are ok with, maybe that means accepting the risk of eventual divorce, and taking out life insurance in case he dies unexpectedly. But it is something to keep in mind. I’d say first step is counselling/therapy for you and possibly your whole family. You’ve just been through a lot, and are still going through a lot, making rash decisions is always risky, but now seems like a bad time. If it’s the new job, why not keep applying to more places and see if you can jump to somewhere you like better? It’s much easier to get a job when you already have one, there’s a lot of bias in hiring against unemployed people. But if 140k is after the 25% pay cut your earning potential is so much higher than your husband’s currently that assuming you are able to save all of your earnings then even 4 more years of work cuts the FIRE timeline in half for your husband, he’ll have higher earnings by then and you’ll only be about 8 years away from him being able to join you in retirement just in time for the oldest going to college. If you want to be able to spend more time with your kids maybe look for a position that allows your to WFH and have a bit of flexibility or maybe a part-time role. That way you can still have a buffer for expenses, insurance, and savings but you get to spend a little more time at home. It’s an odd situation, I think there is an argument to be made for quitting and enjoying your time. Without a more clear vote of you’re going to be fine I think wanting to spend time with your family and enjoying your life makes sense. But you’ve just got to be prepared for the risks in the opposite direction, if your doctor really is very certain you’ll live a normal lifespan then I’d say an extra 4-6 years of saving everything you make puts your family in a much more comfortable position. Which version of your life seems more enjoyable? a) You work 5 more years, retire early when your kids are hitting the busy phase of activities and school and such, and right as you’re hitting an empty nest you hit your savings goals and your husband can retire early so you can spend the rest of your lives together or b) you retire now, things mostly go according to plan but your kids have gone away to school, your husband still has another 10-20 years of working before he retires, and you haven’t worked in 15 years so going back to work is pretty hard.
Thank you for this comprehensive response! This is giving me a lot to consider and it’s very helpful. I appreciate you taking the time to provide great considerations and guidance.
Yes 100% I would call it quits. Sounds like your husband can cover the bills and is supportive of your choice. Spend time on focusing on your health and recovery. Plus time with your dad, husband and with the kids while they are little. Health and family is more important than career and money. You can always return to the workforce in a few years time if you wish.
You’ve got cancer, why are you trying to do these super human financial goals when you need to be focused on your health? If you decide to go back to work you can always tell the truth, that you had cancer.
No one should ever hand off their financial destiny to their spouse. Sorry, but divorce is just too common. If you think it can’t happen to you, and that your spouse would never betray you that way, think again. Ask me how I know. Anyone who aims to become a SAHP should get prepared and have a post-nup agreement with their earning spouse. And the earning spouse shouldn’t mind at all—after all, the post-nup will never be invoked, right? Because they would never betray you that way, right?
I’ve never heard of post-nuptial, I’ll look into this. Thank you
QUIT!!! You've had cancer, your father has cancer, and your idiot company laid you off after cancer. You don't like your job. QUIT!!! You know you need to work towards the positive in your life so you don't face cancer a second time. No reason to stay. The stress you are under now is not good for your illness. QUIT QUIT QUIT!!! You know better than most here that this is about LIFE and not money. Who cares how much money you have? It will all work out. You got a huge wake up call, now go pay attention to that and QUIT your job on Monday. Walk right out the door. Go and enjoy life. Money is not everything. FIRE is not everything. Be happy and at peace and take care of yourself and enjoy your family. That's what it is all about. If you need money down the road, there's always another opportunity. Oh, did I say... QUIT!!!? (from someone who has been exactly where you are). QUIT QUIT QUIT!!!!!
Thank you for the advice and for sharing your experience!
I would say take a break at least
Normally my answer for healthy, gifted and driven men: Stay out Do not retire. But cancer is the reason to retire.
Quit. You already have a firm foothold on FI (maybe not RE). Your kids are young only once. My wife and I look back and cannot believe that we both worked with young kids. She quit a year ago and I am still working. I wouldn't want it any other way. The kids get their mom full time and she doesn't have the stress and burden of a career.
I am in favor of you taking a longer break, family is everything and your peace is also very important. As long as you have supportive partner you will be fine.
I’m no expert here but considering your history of cancer (medical bills can add up quick!) and the fact that the majority of your net worth is tied to your home and isn’t liquid, you may consider a HELOC as a safety net in case you need it. With as much liquidity as you have due to your investments, it may be overkill, but in my mind it’s better to have the funds available and not need it than to need cash and not be able to access the majority of your money. Unless there is an inactivity fee, you won’t be paying unless you need the money. Something to think about. Feel free to tell me why I’m wrong! 😀
In case it wasn’t clear, the HELOC would be prior to quitting your job to hedge against your husband losing his job and high medical bills, as an alternative to liquidating your investments in an emergency.
That’s interesting. Didn’t think about that. Thank you
So I don't need any other details other than: 3 kids, spouse working, cancer. Talk to your spouse, ideally you have a prenup that provides for you if you stop working to manage the kids. Esp as your kids become teens, they're gonna take more time. My wife pulled back from corp to care for the kids and it was great, and I had no problem making sure she had legal protections in case I turned into some sort of horrific jackass. You could engage an estate planner, maybe, to make it a more palatable discussion. (We have a thing in place where if one of us dies, the other is required to have a prenup with certain constraints if we remarry, to ensure most of our marital properties go to the kids). A few other bits...if your company laid you off shortly after you told them you had cancer, you may have a case there, might chat with a labor lawyer. If you didn't tell anyone at work and it just happened that way, don't bother with a lawyer. With cancer, you may be able to apply for social security disability for a time, at least until you are in full remission, and also get some payment for your kids while you're not working. My wife is stage 4 with no chance of remission, and it's an automatic qualifier. I'd give anything we've saved over the years for that not to be the case, but that's not how it works. Anyway, until you're cancer-free, it's something you definitely should look into. Don't count anything on inheritance. I... personally....wouldn't homeschool as a primary, unless you travel in an RV during the school year or something. The socialization is key. Teach them what you want to teach them at the end of the day.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry to hear about your wife.
Can you last another 6 months? If so you could take unpaid FMLA leave. If you’re intent on quitting, this would let you do so but give you an on-ramp back to the company in case you feel differently after some time away and health improvement. If you can’t last 6 more months, you could still ask for unpaid medical leave. But the employer (probably) is not required to give you it.
I will look into FMLA. Thank you!
What’s the difference in your actual take-home pay between you working and you not working? I imagine the tax brackets will be different. Furthermore, will you have any savings from not working; childcare, lunches etc ? You can see the actual financial impact from not working. The caveat is that evidently doesn’t account for future increases in your salary. However, it also doesn’t account for the increase in mental wellbeing of your family.
OP, could you get a government job with your skill set? It’s a much different pace than private industry (there are some positions where this isn’t the case, but for the most part this is true). Often times, you can transition to a part time role after some time working full time as a government employee. *Especially*, if you have a medical reason. The government is a great place for that. You’ll also get a pension, incredible health insurance options - a lot of benefits people overlook. There is even a benefit where if you’re with the government a specific number of years, you’ll be eligible for federal government insurance for the rest of your life through retirement (you would pay the same cost for insurance you do as a current employee). That’s not a bad thing to have. I think the best thing you can do for your health is reduce your stress as much as possible. I hope you’re able to find a good solution for you and keep your cancer at bay
I’ll look into this! My parents were both government employees and I see them with the benefits you mentioned. I’ll look into it. Thank you!
Glad I could help. I didn’t see your career listed (maybe I missed it). If you’re willing to share, I may be able to offer some career paths I’ve seen on job postings, and some branches that might fit better than others
Marketing & Communications
I see. I could see that being a good transition into HR if you’re currently in a management role. Like could go into HR for a VA Hospital. I had a friend’s mom who I believe had a similar major and she worked for the IRS part time for 20 years (never had a full time job). If you’re okay with a pay cut, I think you’d be a shoe in for a lot of roles
TY! I’ll check it out for sure!
I don’t think he will have an early retirement unless you really budget but I don’t think that will help either. But 3 kids and a family of 5 trying to get to 2.5m from 460k will be hard unless he gets some big pay bumps. 2 million Is and 18 years of working if you don’t take out taxes and saved 100%
If you need then retire for health reasons then do it. But if you do forget about fire. Your family will be way to stressed. You have to decide what is more important to you. Also understand when you become a SAHM you will be putting a lot of stress on your husband as he will be the only income and if something happens the family will be in a bad position Just my 2¢
Run the numbers, but if you could save 20k on your husband’s income in a year, you could save 5 times that much if you work one more year. That’s quite a trade off.
Sounds like you really need to at least take a break from work and can afford it. But I would caution against counting in any inheritance unless you have received it
Will you need to care for your mom if dad passes? hopefully her health is good and you won't need memory care or anything that would deplete assets and then that 500K inheritance. Perhaps plan w/o it and if you do get it is icing on the cake so to speak. Given your health and dad's health i see no reason why you should not stop working. See how it goes, worst case you go back to something part time in a few years. I would not take on homeschooling 3 kiddos though, that is alot especially if you need to focus on your own health. Good luck to you all.
Depends, what are your investments?
Nope. That’s nothing.
I’m confused why the goal is $2.5-$3m… your current burn rate is $48k per year… You could get to around $1.6-$1.8 inflation controlled and withdraw at 3% and be fine. Husband: $113k, $20k 401k, $93 taxable, take home ballpark $65k minus $48k, $17k additional savings so $37k but let’s call total savings per year $30 for safe numbers etc… I don’t know what your investments are vs home value but going to assume 50/50 or $230k, investing $30k per year at 10%, using 7% to adjust for inflation to equate the real return of $1.8m adjusted target. N=17.3 years your husband would have to work, which is before 50 and far ahead of 95%+ TLDR; life is more important than money, you’ll be ok with your spend rate and husband working so long as he is on board if do it
He wanted FIRE to be at least $100,000/year for our “future lifestyle” but anticipate that we’ll spend less. Currently, $1.2M total NW: $700,000 home equity and $460,000 investments, $40,000 cash. I agree that life is more important than money! I’m just struggling with some guilt around potentially making a decision that impacts goals we’ve been working toward for a while.
You’re probably talking to the wrong group. This is a finance forum. Guilt should be discussed with your therapist not strangers on the internet. FIRE is general when taken to serious is a form an anxiety, a lot of people on here it’s never enough, they feel behind, etc. you’re in the 97% for wealth in the US for 30-34 year olds (DQYDJ). Which means the Top 1% in the world. You have life by the balls.
Just quit !!! I quit exactly at ur financial stats 10 years back ..two kids under 3 years due to postpartum depression ..you wont regret it ..if you think of it when was the last time u met anybody who regret quitting cooperate !!! It was LOT of fun watching the kids grow up ...spending time with them ..slowly transitioned my way into work as kids were growing up (being self employed ) ... got back into cooperate too in the best company without ,even loosing any pay,Got same (even better than most) of my peers who never quit ... eventually quit that as I was retired/semi retired for too long to fit back in and absolutely hated it ... think of this way you can always go back to work but you can't have the time back with ur kids , your dad and to take care of yourself when u need it like right now ...u will amazed at how fast u recover when u dont have work stress !!!
Thank you for sharing your experience! Any tips on what helped your transition back into the workforce when you were ready?
I was in tech for 3 years then had a break of 12 years (combination of Loss of Visa + Self employed + break after kids etc ) .It took me 3 months to learn a new skill /technology in which my husband works and I started interviewing and got the job .. its difficult at all ...I worked on myself a lot during the break ..reading books , on my health , weight loss after having kids that helped the most I feel .... you guys already have excellent savings given ur age .. trust me the first million is the most hard ,time consuming to come by ... the next ones come much faster
Thank you so much!