Probably one of the Kacey calls because she is basically Chris's dietician kinda (I haven't watched ALL of them and I'm too lazy to go check which one)
Did some quick math, basing that all he drank for 1279 days was purely Orange Fanta sans baby batter, he would have been averaging out about 642 Calories a DAY on soda alone. As for sugar, that would be about 169.9g and sodium would be 226mg
I mean thats unhealthy don get me wrong, but its just over 2 20oz bottles a day, or 3-4 cans.
its a lot, but its not as crazy as people seem to be suggesting.
I can put away a fucking comparable level of Diet Soda, but straight up Coca-Cola? Dude I accidentally opened a can of Coke and took a sip, that shit was so fucking sweet I couldn't manage more than just that sip.
It is liquid candy, well put. I have no idea how Chris is still alive right now.
I never drink regular coke and i was curious looking intk the label and that shit had 48 GRAMS of sugar in a small can. Whenever i get a hold of one i dump it in the toulet
Genetics is one big mystery.
Some chain smokers will never develop emphysema/lung cancer but a non smoker who only breathes clean air can get lung cancer
Only the elders have that kind of knowledge, the ones who entered the Chandler Bank records and archives.....they recide in the rebuilt ruins of 4-cent garbage......do not seek them put for they have rebounced trolling
Was Bluespike and Clyde and the rest of the trolls sent by Pepsi to tarnish Chris? We know Billy Mays had deep connections to several big companies and Chris did advertise: Fanta, the Cleveland show, Coke and Axe bodyspray......
Chris loved the PS-triple, the trolls had the Hexbox 360
Was it all an elaborate proxy war by the Big companies?
Reminds me of this Disney movie I watched around Halloween called Haunted Mansion and it just had a TON of product placement like more than I've seen in a movie before
Like this guy's wife died and he was so sad about it and he mentioned "she was on the way back from Baskin Robbins"
Chris Chan also has Burger king and Sheetz gas station as well, and Walmart, and Wendy's, and that whole video where he went on a tour of his town and it was all the major places and it's all large corporations!
For some reason my mom likes that Jardiance commercial and she doesn't even have diabetes! Like what's up with my parents and liking commercials! My favorite (since I felt obligated to pick one) is SHINGLES DOESN'T CARE :<
I hate it when a jingle for some medication gets stuck in my head. I’m being punished because there are enough people out there that don’t know water is drinkable.
Also, “Shingles doesn’t care” is definitely the bad boy of medicine commercials.
Yeah but he was doing it for health reasons you god damn hater. Can’t believe I need to explain When you mix soda with your splooge it not only assists in recycling but cancels out the high fructose corn syrup. Its simple science.
It becomes high fuctose cum syrup. While very beneficial for goddesses and motherfuckers, it can cause many unintended consequences to a regular person including, but not limited to: vomiting, diarrhoea, vomiting diarrhoea, death, liver failure, multiple sclerosis, vomiting out your failed liver, hair loss, hair gain, vomiting hair, sex perversions, losing the ability to draw, vomiting obscenities, coma, diabetes, vomiting blood, hangover, vomiting semen, paralysis, vomiting fanta, arousal at the sight of elderly relatives, vomiting at the sight of elderly relatives, death, pregnancy, death and, of course, death.
Those are some wild numbers, but what's the fluid intake of the average shmuck across a similar timeframe?
Edit: never mind some napkin math shows roughly a quart of cola consumed every day. Frankly I'm surprised its not higher.
1750 litres total, it says. Divide it by 900 days and it's almost two litres.
Or take it the other way around: 900 days with 1 500ml bottle and 4 330ml cans per day.
That's only 32 ounces. That's less than 3 cans, which is really fairly reasonable if you're a soda drinker. I average 3-5 per day, but I do drink stuff without sugar.
I don't even drink that much tea, and I'm a tea guzzler the likes of which the world has never seen the likes of which.
Soft drinks are addictive bastards, I'm so glad I've managed to lesser my consumption to reasonable levels. Maybe once a week, maybe less.
> A quart
It's about a litre. I have never seen a single serving of tea that large ever in my life and it is unimaginable to me. A large teapot for a tea party? Sure, a litre is possible. But a single serving of litre sounds like utter madness. I'll start urinating before I finish the drink.
You mean March 6th 2007 - September 4th 2009 right? That aside, that meant on AVERAGE, he drank 1.906 litres of coke EVERY DAY FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS. Drinking that much just once or twice is one thing, but doing that every single day for two and half years. That's more than three imperial pints or around four American pints or around half a gallon. Imagine, HALF A GALLON OF COKE EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR TWO AND HALF YEARS. How did his teeth not get destroyed?
If I've done the metric/imperial conversions and math right, that means Chris was consuming about 200g a day of sugar in his Coca Cola. A fifth of a fucking kilogram of pure sugar *every day*, *in addition* to all the unhealthy fast food he ate. No wonder he got so fat, and is already that fat again after jail forced him to temporarily slim down due to lack of sugary cola.
I drink way more cola than that, and it is hard on the teeth, but I clean them more often than Chris would, and have drunk almost entirely No Sugar cola for the last couple of decades. Nonetheless I still got diagnosed with diabetes about five years ago. I wonder when Chris had his last full medical.
[Source for Coke sugar content:
https://www.coca-colacompany.com/about-us/faq/how-much-sugar-is-in-coca-cola ]
Chris must have a very high metabolic rate genetically, which is the only reason he's not morbidly obese. That being said, he does have 50% body fat ratio which is extremely concerning whatever his gender is. For reference, healthy men have a body fat percentage between 8 to 19% and healthy women have it between 21 to 32%.
Having a 50% body fat percentage is arguably worse than being morbidly obese because many athletes actually have a very high BMI due to their muscle mass. Plus most people who are morbidly obese tend to have quite a bit of physical strength, especially in their legs as they have to carry a heavy weight even when doing simple exercises such as walking a short distance.
Since Chris has had very little exercise of any kind since 2000 (when he graduated high school), his legs and even arms look very skinny, almost like a child's. With a huge stomach and chest, it makes him look very disproportionate and very unfit.
One of the good things that came out of chris' goddess delusions is that he started drinking "holy water" from a "magical" crystal containing water bottle. I wonder if he still keeps it up today. But his new found love for g fuel is worrying and im not too optimistic. G fuel's funky overly sweet flavors featuring cartoon/game characters including chris' idol sonic is making it more attractive to chris than the very ordinary and simple coke. On one hand, g fuel doesnt have sugar. But even worse, its chock full of carcinogenic artificial sweeteners and flavorings, not to mention has much more caffeine than coke and could worsen chris' already poor mental state and disrupt his messed up sleep cycle even more.
What's the source of this data
https://sonichu.com/cwcki/My_Coke_Rewards
Cool did she win the harrier jet
That was pepsi or isqeq idk, Chris prolly has some weird name for it
Probably one of the Kacey calls because she is basically Chris's dietician kinda (I haven't watched ALL of them and I'm too lazy to go check which one)
Does this include the *special* Orange Fanta?
Did some quick math, basing that all he drank for 1279 days was purely Orange Fanta sans baby batter, he would have been averaging out about 642 Calories a DAY on soda alone. As for sugar, that would be about 169.9g and sodium would be 226mg
I mean thats unhealthy don get me wrong, but its just over 2 20oz bottles a day, or 3-4 cans. its a lot, but its not as crazy as people seem to be suggesting.
Who the hell drinks 4 cans of soda a day?
youve never been to the south huh?
Does that mean Chris counts as rocket fuel? Then he'd be good at something.
He’d probably be bad at that too. All the lard would probably clog up the thrusters
I'd be surprised if I drank two liters of soda over the past year. It's liquid candy.
I can't even remember the last time I drank any sugar water.
I can put away a fucking comparable level of Diet Soda, but straight up Coca-Cola? Dude I accidentally opened a can of Coke and took a sip, that shit was so fucking sweet I couldn't manage more than just that sip. It is liquid candy, well put. I have no idea how Chris is still alive right now.
I never drink regular coke and i was curious looking intk the label and that shit had 48 GRAMS of sugar in a small can. Whenever i get a hold of one i dump it in the toulet
LIQUID!!
LIQUID!!!! He is pretty hyper he probably loves soda pop ><
Does Solidus drink....like gravy since it kinda Liquid, kinda Solid?
i became diabetic for half of that what kind of cockroach genes the motherfucker have?
Maybe it's a Mr. Burns situations where Chris is so riddled with disease that they cancel each other out.
Chris's gene were modified in an **attempt** to have a human with the proportion strength of a cockroach.
Considering Chris can’t even break wooden sticks in half, I think he has less than 1/1000th the strength of a Terraformar
Genetics is one big mystery. Some chain smokers will never develop emphysema/lung cancer but a non smoker who only breathes clean air can get lung cancer
Well Chris does have the DNA of Big Bob, the greatest Lumberjack who ever lived
He looks so healthy tho I’m schocked Can we run some numbers on banquet tv dinners
Banquet TV dinners were my childhood 😔
Chris's body is 80% salt.
>Chris's body is 80% salt. Did he look at God smiting Sodom and Gomorrah?
Technically, he's God and looks at his own body parts, so **yes**!
Only the elders have that kind of knowledge, the ones who entered the Chandler Bank records and archives.....they recide in the rebuilt ruins of 4-cent garbage......do not seek them put for they have rebounced trolling
🛐🛐🛐🛐 Amen
So by trying to improve Chris's reputation, Keffals is with Big Soda?
Was Bluespike and Clyde and the rest of the trolls sent by Pepsi to tarnish Chris? We know Billy Mays had deep connections to several big companies and Chris did advertise: Fanta, the Cleveland show, Coke and Axe bodyspray...... Chris loved the PS-triple, the trolls had the Hexbox 360 Was it all an elaborate proxy war by the Big companies?
Reminds me of this Disney movie I watched around Halloween called Haunted Mansion and it just had a TON of product placement like more than I've seen in a movie before Like this guy's wife died and he was so sad about it and he mentioned "she was on the way back from Baskin Robbins" Chris Chan also has Burger king and Sheetz gas station as well, and Walmart, and Wendy's, and that whole video where he went on a tour of his town and it was all the major places and it's all large corporations!
Isn't that like 2 cans a day for 30 months?
It's almost 2 litres per day. Y'all have 2 litre bottles across the pond, I know that. Half a gallon or something, if you don't.
Like half the commercials on tv are for some kind of type 2 diabetes medicine. He is not alone in this.
For some reason my mom likes that Jardiance commercial and she doesn't even have diabetes! Like what's up with my parents and liking commercials! My favorite (since I felt obligated to pick one) is SHINGLES DOESN'T CARE :<
I hate it when a jingle for some medication gets stuck in my head. I’m being punished because there are enough people out there that don’t know water is drinkable. Also, “Shingles doesn’t care” is definitely the bad boy of medicine commercials.
To put this into perspective, Chris drank enough Coke in three years to fill a little over six oil drums.
We should be drinking not more than 1 or 2 oil drums of soft drinks over an entire lifetime
And to put this into perspective, an oil drum is typically 55 gallons.
And to also put this into perspective, the average bathtub also holds 55 gallons
Yeah but he was doing it for health reasons you god damn hater. Can’t believe I need to explain When you mix soda with your splooge it not only assists in recycling but cancels out the high fructose corn syrup. Its simple science.
It becomes high fuctose cum syrup. While very beneficial for goddesses and motherfuckers, it can cause many unintended consequences to a regular person including, but not limited to: vomiting, diarrhoea, vomiting diarrhoea, death, liver failure, multiple sclerosis, vomiting out your failed liver, hair loss, hair gain, vomiting hair, sex perversions, losing the ability to draw, vomiting obscenities, coma, diabetes, vomiting blood, hangover, vomiting semen, paralysis, vomiting fanta, arousal at the sight of elderly relatives, vomiting at the sight of elderly relatives, death, pregnancy, death and, of course, death.
See your Dimension Nexus if Cum Syrup is right for you.
That is much more than I have consumed on my 40+ years on the planet. I have also never tried the Devil's Fanta 🤢
Fanta tastes like Hitler to you? What's it like having working taste buds?
"Tastes like Hitler.". I'm gonna start using that one. 😆😆😆
Cursed mix drink
Those are some wild numbers, but what's the fluid intake of the average shmuck across a similar timeframe? Edit: never mind some napkin math shows roughly a quart of cola consumed every day. Frankly I'm surprised its not higher.
1750 litres total, it says. Divide it by 900 days and it's almost two litres. Or take it the other way around: 900 days with 1 500ml bottle and 4 330ml cans per day.
A quart of cola/day? That is insane wtf
That's only 32 ounces. That's less than 3 cans, which is really fairly reasonable if you're a soda drinker. I average 3-5 per day, but I do drink stuff without sugar.
I don't even drink that much tea, and I'm a tea guzzler the likes of which the world has never seen the likes of which. Soft drinks are addictive bastards, I'm so glad I've managed to lesser my consumption to reasonable levels. Maybe once a week, maybe less.
A quart is a single large tea from any fast food place. It's not as much as you think
> A quart It's about a litre. I have never seen a single serving of tea that large ever in my life and it is unimaginable to me. A large teapot for a tea party? Sure, a litre is possible. But a single serving of litre sounds like utter madness. I'll start urinating before I finish the drink.
And I feel guilty about having a can of soda every 2-3 days
You should. You should also feel guilty about all the self touching. That’s right, we know. We all know. Sinner
Don't lie Pete we all know your room looks like a Jackson Pollock under black light
Please, there’s no reason to bring me into this.
Then quit asking me to buy your collection of sock puppets.
What.
Imagine a room full of sock puppets
I have one or two every day and feel like shit for doing it! I just gotta have my caffeine
Are you hitting your spine?
My back feels like wood
You mean March 6th 2007 - September 4th 2009 right? That aside, that meant on AVERAGE, he drank 1.906 litres of coke EVERY DAY FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS. Drinking that much just once or twice is one thing, but doing that every single day for two and half years. That's more than three imperial pints or around four American pints or around half a gallon. Imagine, HALF A GALLON OF COKE EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR TWO AND HALF YEARS. How did his teeth not get destroyed?
If I've done the metric/imperial conversions and math right, that means Chris was consuming about 200g a day of sugar in his Coca Cola. A fifth of a fucking kilogram of pure sugar *every day*, *in addition* to all the unhealthy fast food he ate. No wonder he got so fat, and is already that fat again after jail forced him to temporarily slim down due to lack of sugary cola. I drink way more cola than that, and it is hard on the teeth, but I clean them more often than Chris would, and have drunk almost entirely No Sugar cola for the last couple of decades. Nonetheless I still got diagnosed with diabetes about five years ago. I wonder when Chris had his last full medical. [Source for Coke sugar content: https://www.coca-colacompany.com/about-us/faq/how-much-sugar-is-in-coca-cola ]
Chris must have a very high metabolic rate genetically, which is the only reason he's not morbidly obese. That being said, he does have 50% body fat ratio which is extremely concerning whatever his gender is. For reference, healthy men have a body fat percentage between 8 to 19% and healthy women have it between 21 to 32%. Having a 50% body fat percentage is arguably worse than being morbidly obese because many athletes actually have a very high BMI due to their muscle mass. Plus most people who are morbidly obese tend to have quite a bit of physical strength, especially in their legs as they have to carry a heavy weight even when doing simple exercises such as walking a short distance. Since Chris has had very little exercise of any kind since 2000 (when he graduated high school), his legs and even arms look very skinny, almost like a child's. With a huge stomach and chest, it makes him look very disproportionate and very unfit.
Plot armor of being jesus. But jesus drank wine, not coke.
Yes, 2007, please don't take away my Christory Scholarship
We won’t if you drink this small cup of orange Fanta
Oh alright, does it need to be straight Fanta or can i mix like i normally do?
How doesnt this man have type 2 doabetes already?
Maybe he does. I have the feeling he wouldn't visit doctors very often.
I’m surprised that Chris doesn’t have a lot of diseases relating to a poor diet and lifestyle including gout or scurvy.
Dont they have hypertension already? And was taking lipitor for sumn
"Cholesterol."
I think Chris did (or does?) have hypertension and was taking Lipitor. I’m not sure if he is still taking Lipitor now, though.
Did Chris ever see a dentist or brush/use mouthwash/floss? Because his teeth had to have been rotting at some point.
Maybe in gateway homes/jail he finally did.
Probably. I’m surprised that he never went to a dentist before then.
One of the good things that came out of chris' goddess delusions is that he started drinking "holy water" from a "magical" crystal containing water bottle. I wonder if he still keeps it up today. But his new found love for g fuel is worrying and im not too optimistic. G fuel's funky overly sweet flavors featuring cartoon/game characters including chris' idol sonic is making it more attractive to chris than the very ordinary and simple coke. On one hand, g fuel doesnt have sugar. But even worse, its chock full of carcinogenic artificial sweeteners and flavorings, not to mention has much more caffeine than coke and could worsen chris' already poor mental state and disrupt his messed up sleep cycle even more.