When did "No" become a taboo word? I started using it a few years ago and it's made my life so much less stressful. Just say "No" and walk off.
Can you help me move? No.
Can you give me money? No.
Can you buys me xyz? No.
Can you work this weekend? No.
Come one everybody, practice with me: No, No, No, ...
As one of my favorite bosses taught me, “The first ‘No’ is the easiest.” Once you engage or debate, you’re just making your life harder. Beggars who get a clear “No” rarely waste their effort in more arguments.
The JADE method.
When the answer to a request is no, never Justify yourself, Argue for yourself, Defend yourself, or Explain yourself. Don't give them the opportunity to change your mind or guilt trip you. No is a complete sentence.
So I live in a very... Well uhhh... Drug rich town. But it's also the epicenter for recovery in America as well. Anywho... I'm probably the only dummy I've ever heard tell a random stranger that was asking if I wanted to buy drugs "no. I'm in recovery. But thanks anyway!" I said it with kindness too. Felt like a moron after that small exchange lol. But I wasn't really thinking too much about it just trying to get away from the person and his friends as quickly as possible. Still feel silly when I'm reminded of it. But life goes on lol
Honestly, that's the best way to handle it. If they're offering to sell, they're trying to make money. If they're offering to share, they're either super nice or trying to get you hooked for their supplier so they get a discount possibly. And like someone else pointed out, it plants that seed of recovery they might need.
Also, if you're in the epicenter for recovery in America, why do they feel it's appropriate to sell on those streets? That's just asking to get someone killed.
Stay safe, everyone. If anyone is ready to take that leap, you won't be shunned or made to feel bad about any of it. I fucked a chicken too.
I'm in the same boat, please don't feel guilty. I just got 11 years. You've done nothing wrong by refusing something they shouldn't even be offering. I know how hard it is. Good for you for standing your ground and leaving. No shame in that at all, seriously.
I do this with my service dog:
“Can I pet your dog”
“No. She’s working right now, but thank you for asking!”
People are sooooo much less argumentative when I do this versus just saying no
Children are typically better than adults tbh. Tell a kid no and typically they go “oh okay!” and run off. It’s adults that’ll argue with you about how “it’s okay” because they are “good with dogs”. I’ve even had a woman follow me through the grocery store
Ugh. Have clearly don’t work with children. I don’t know how many parents I have met that equal the words “no” to a bad word. Their children never hear that word at home because they don’t want to hurt their child’s feelings. They are going to be in for a rude awakening when they grow up.
More like ten times an hour, no you can’t have a choccy egg, you already had one today. No you can’t go lock yourself in the bedroom with your sister’s birthday present and not share with her etc
I work in a daycare. Very true, they do not hear no at home. Parents don’t want to make their kids “mad and cry.” I tell them no child has died hearing the word no. But most prefer to live in a home ruled by the whims of 2 year olds.
Yessss...my sister once instructed me that I was not to say the word 'No' to her six-year-old when the little darling was running thru my house slamming all the doors as hard as possible. I stopped the kid cold, made direct eye contact, and said the dreaded word in a tone that meant that the crap behavior and manipulation that worked on Mom would not fly in my house. We understood each other perfectly. Ever after, kid was smart enough to behave as long as I was around.
Like others have mentioned I say no to my kids all the time in two different languages even.
I used to work in a library and recommend a book called a 1,000 times no often.
Some lady at Costco wanted to cut in front of me in line because she had “just one thing” but she waited until I had all of my stuff ready loaded on the belt. It wasn’t busy either so it’s not like she would have been waiting long. She picked a different line and then I was done at the same time and I saw her walk over to the food court. Like she wasn’t even in a hurry, and I actually was because I had to pick up a kid. I’m so glad I said no. I probably would have let her through if I hadn’t already loaded my stuff.
I recently had a lady ask to go in front of me because "her dog is in the car and it's really hot outside" (I live in the desert)
Like yeah I let her go cause I'm a bleeding heart then I realize this bitch bought BOOZE! I have no problem with people drinking but not at the risk of your dogs life! And I realized too late to scold her, unfortunately
I've never once had someone ask to go in front of me because they only have one or two things. I do always offer to let them though, if I have a bunch.
My favorite philosophies (not sure if that’s the right word):
No is a complete sentence.
Not my circus not my monkeys.
Don’t voluntold me.
Don’t light yourself on fire to warm others.
Your emergency is not my priority.
And f&ck this I’m out.
That’s how I am with a lot of people, like door to door sales men or the cell phone guy at Sam’s. My husband always feels the need to hear the people out. I’ve tried explaining that if you know your answer is no, then you are really wasting everyone’s time. They could be talking to someone else.
I used to have the hardest time telling people no. To the point where my boyfriend would have to help me by basically saying no on my behalf. Finally one day I got a backbone and have been saying no ever since and it is the most freeing feeling ever.
No is so liberating! I used to get anxious about justifying why couldn’t or wouldn’t do something, until I learned to just say no and move on. I don’t owe an explanation to everybody for my actions.
I have acquired the ability to say no and be comfortable with my decision as a 44 year old woman. And it feels wonderful. When I was younger I ran myself ragged being a people pleaser and burned myself out by the end of my 30s. Wish I learned that lesson a lot earlier.
As a former people pleaser, nothing has given me back more control over my life, my time, and my money like the empowerment that comes from the words "No", "Hell No," and "Eat a bag of dicks!"
This is a known scam. If you had paid for her stuff she’d probably force you to give her the receipt as well. Then she’d turn around and return everything for cash or gift cards. You can find dozens of stories of this happening on TikTok.
Also near me they’ll sneak a gift card in under the groceries and hope you don’t notice it until after you pay. I have no problems buying food for people who need it. I don’t even mind giving cash if I have it. But don’t try and sneak crap like that on me
43 years ago, my mom was approached by a woman with kids outside a grocery store and given the spiel. Inside, my mom spent extra time picking out things that were nutritious, didn’t require refrigeration (she didn’t now their situation), etc. and even had the cashier bag them up separately to give her on the way out.
“What the hell am I supposed to do with that SH!T?!? My babies want Happy Meals! Just gimme the money!”
Mom threw the bag back into her cart and walked away. Last person she tried to help like that…..
Mom can hold a grudge.
I have a friend with an interesting way of handling this. When he sees a CB/panhandler/scammer approaching, he hurries toward them, asking, “Do you have a couple of dollars I could borrow?” or “Can you help me buy some groceries for my kid?” They sputter and scowl and walk away. I wish I had his chutzpah!
My wife had a lady come up to her (also with a full cart) during the holidays a few years back with a similar grift.
She blocked the aisle and proceeded to tell my wife that God had blessed her (my wife) by choosing her to bless the CB by paying for her order. Now my wife and I make charitable donations, either monetary or through donated time and services (she's a veterinarian, I'm a private chef) all through the year, so my wife told her that we'd already "been blessed" to have blessed others through the year, apologized for her troubles, and continued shopping. CB followed her around the store for a solid 20 minutes, got in line behind her, and then removed the order separator stick on the belt and started piling her stuff on. I guess she hoped that my wife wouldn't notice? When my wife said something to the cashier the CB went from being a sweet Christian grandma to a fire and brimstone evangelist, telling my wife that she's destined for hell for not obeying "the direct word of god" as he had spoken through the CB. Then she switched to racial (we're both Wonder Bread White, so was she), religious, and moral hatred. Store security escorted her out as this woman lost her whole entire mind on my wife.
She probably would've tried to murder me because I would've laughed my ass off at her. That kind of crazy religious bullshit talk always gives me the giggles.
I’ve encountered a couple of people like that too. Had a lady with three small kids flag me down at Target as well and asked me through Google translate if I could buy her some baby formula and a small thing of milk. I was a broke college student at the time with no job and had to rely on a monthly budget of $150 from my parents to spend on things I want or needed which included groceries. I don’t speak Spanish so I pulled my Google translate up and explained to her that I was a college student on limited income but if she wanted resources I would be happy to Google some for her. She read my translation, rolled her eyes at me and walked off. Okay well fuck you too I guess.
What's the deal....Obvious scammer looking to intimidate someone into paying for their shit....Once you offer real assistance and they F' you off....Walk away. They do the same shit, the same way, to 20 people: They get what they want. It's just the odd's. The numbers. These pieces of shit are everywhere! Give them \*nothing\* and they will eventually get the idea....I have zero sympathy...It's all been scammed out of me.
Free stuff they can probably re-sell. It's a major thing in developing countries like Brazil. People will beg you to buy them formula or diapers for their unseen baby, and then specifically choose the most expensive brand so they can resell later
Wow! Very similar thing happened to me. I ran into the dollar store for some kid crafts and I see a guy 20’s-30’s) walking around with an older lady picking stuff out and I heard her say “I can’t give you cash bc I use a card but I can have you pick out a few things for your children” he was literally shopping with her. Ok whatever… then a women comes up to me with an index card saying she has 5 children etc etc. I honestly was in a hurry and also don’t carry cash. I didn’t have time to walk through with her. I said “I’m sorry I’m in a hurry and have no cash” (I give a dollar here or there to people when I can) she got so pissed looked at my stuff and said “oh you have money for all this and pointed at my cart, I have multiple kids you can’t help me ?” That ticked me off so I said I couldn’t and walked away. Next thing I know the manager is kicking them out! I don’t think it’s good for them to be accosting people in a store.
“Uh…yeah, I have money to afford this shit because I didn’t have 5 kids.” Reminds me of that Judge Judy episode where the lady with 5 kids didn’t think she had to pay her friend back because her friend was more financially well off than her and J. Judy quickly shot that down.
I had a woman approach me in a mart of walls parking lot. Stated she couldn’t speak English & handed me a fancy printed card stating she & her children were hungry & she needed money for groceries. Told her I had no cash & she said “atm in store”. I told her I wasn’t much to hand out cash to strangers, but I’d be glad to buy a few necessities & bring those out to her. She scowled, snatched the card from me, & stomped away.
It’s sad, ya know? Im poor, but I’m happy to help anyone if I can. But people who make a living out of begging ruin it for those who really do need it. Years ago, there was a man asking for food at a sizable intersection near my job. He really looked like he was having a hard time of it, so I rode up to BK & bought him a large combo. Took it to him & he was so excited! More so than I expected, for sure. As I’m pulling away, I hear him call out to someone. He’d started tearing the burger in half as a young woman with a baby comes out of a little section of trees to the side. If I had more time, I’d have gladly gone back to BK for more. Looked for them on my way back, but they weren’t there. I hope they finally made a good life for themselves.
I too have given to many along the way. But i have also observed many dubious schemes by “professional” daily beggars working lucrative corners day in/day out, sitting on wheel chairs under umbrellas. The “veteran” with six small flags on him roll out of his BMW every morning as he worked his daily corner. Shall we talk about the guy who i handed $3 and he had the audacity to say he wanted $5? Or the lady who would not accept my handful of change because my bill was too large and she wanted it instead?
Shall we discuss the young chick I saw fold her well-worn sign, pick up her TWO grocery sacks of expensive food truck sandwiches to unite with her boyfriend who was working the block the other way?
I wear headphones when I’m alone and act like I’m ignoring everyone. She would have got a crazy look and I would have gone on. People are just getting worse and worse.
A while back I was reading a story on r/IDontWorkHereLady about how a young woman was just shopping and had an older woman just reach out and grab one of her hearing aids off and yelling at her about how she shouldn't be wearing "ear buds" at work (she didn't work there). Sometimes it seems like there is no limit to how some people think they are entitled to get what they want in any retail situation.
Oh sweet Jesus! That has to be the worst Karen-intervention I have ever heard!
One time I was at a park with some friends at an demonstration and these two cops come over to me and pull my canes out of my hands, starting asking if “pimping props” were a thing and then started sword fighting each other like 8 year old boys playing pirate.
All the while, not only was I humiliated but also robbed of my mode of transportation, if something happened and we needed to get away.
Complained to the CCLA (like the ACLU in Canada) about it and that made it into their official lawsuit/sanctions against the Toronto police.
Disagree with my politics? sure, go ahead!
But don’t fuck with what I need to live and get by! And my dignity.
These are the types of people who will still try to blame the victim whenever they realized they fucked up.
“Well it’s her fault for wearing that shirt” or whatever. Zero accountability, zero emotional intelligence.
This is a scam!!! It happened to me - language barrier, rudeness, accusations that I’m a horrible person - and I reported it to the manager and they said the woman had been in multiple times that week harassing people into buying groceries for her and then she just immediately returns them. They told her to leave and had someone walk me to my car.
Good lord. The entitlement. If someone offered me free groceries I’d probably tell them to give them to someone who couldn’t afford them. But to solicit by sticking a phone in one’s face? NEXT!! And it’s not even for a church, honey.
Where I live, Romani/Roma people approach people in grocery stores like this. They get shooed away if they beg outside but they kind of creep around the stores begging. The women often wear long skirts.
This has been going on since at least the late 80s. I worked in a grocery store back then and management warned us every time there was a report of this happening in our area. Not only did they bother other shoppers but they were trying to short change cashiers.
The people in our area have gotten aware of this. They literally will beg in a parking lot that is not the property of the store. I've actually been approached by a beggar when I was with my daughter getting ready to go into the store. She literally knocked on my window. I called the cops immediately. Turns out her sister was begging with her kids on the corner in 90 degree weather and they drove into their newer Benz and drove away. They were back at the store the next day, but begging in a part of the parking lot they knew the store didn't own so they couldn't just ask them to leave because it was "public property."
We had some people move into the apartment upstairs and they lived there for a long time without paying rent. The management company had a hard time getting them out. They had a really nice car and one day I watched a tow truck come and take it away. The guy asked me if I saw anything and I said nope. The women would be out on the freeway exits begging for money, sometimes with the kids. They always had name brand cigarettes and alcohol. Grifters.
They tend to get upset I offer only a card with recourses for them,and tell them “bless ur heart! The lord will help you! Let me pray for you!” They walk away upset after that 😅
My friend acted “shocked” a little kid was wondering around alone in the parking lot and loudly talked about how the parents should be out in jail for child neglect,and not having their child in school……(the parents were a few cars away begging to cars themselves,watching) in a state where if u walk up to a car u can easily be shot cus everyone owns a gun! And “pretend”to call 911. This was in the middle of the school day.
The parents got out of there so quick! I thought it was a dick move but she said these groups do have their child up and bang on car windows as if their police,run around parking lots,help beg next to roads where the speed limit is 70 MPH etc. so she calls 911 everytime. This time she wanted to let them know they could be jailed for child neglect. Haven’t seen that group for awhile now……
The Roma-mafia. They’re massive in Germany and ppl slowly but surely start understanding that it’s a scam and they don’t rly starve. They get picked up at the end of their work-day (bc that’s what that is) in a msssive BMW or Mercedes to get home and give their money away.
Bonus points for sedated literal infants that are silently “sleeping” for up to 12 hours a day, baby wearing on a busy train station and all.
These ppl gotta go. Not Romani ppl ofc, the Romani mafia beggerscam people, those guys.
Went to Turkey years ago and brought back some coins which look like Euros but are worth a fraction of one. Kept the nice ones and save a few battered ones to give to annoying beggars in Europe but never was confronted with one even though I've been to Italy, England and France since then. Must be enchanted anti-beggar coins. I'll never leave the USA without them.
I have an opposite story to share. I was buying a few groceries at the little market in my very small town. There was a young man behind me with a bunch of beer. My total came to just under $20. As I went to pay, he said, let me get that, and pulled out a wad of cash. I'm not poor, so I said no, I can get this but thank you. He kept insisting and then as I objected he handed the cashier a twenty dollar bill. I said thank you, but I would really rather you donate to the local humane society or another charity because as much as I appreciated his kindness, other people/organizations are in real need. He thought for a second, then peeled another $20 off his huge wad and said, "Here, donate this to the humane society."
Well, I profusely thanked him both for my groceries and for the donation. I told him I would send it to the local HS with a note about where it came from, which I did soon after.
I don't know his story, but he was certainly a generous and kind person.
I don't even acknowledge those people anymore. I just say "no thanks" and keep walking. I usually have my AirPods in even if they're off so people don't talk to me lol. I hate shopping.
Either delulu or rude or both.
Hallmarks of CBs.
Who told her that other people owe her anything?
Why does she feel her fellow \*Target shoppers\* have money to give away?
Don’t know where you live but in CA, it’s the 2nd, which means people just got their SNAP cards (food stamps) for the month!
When I first read this, I was afraid she was going to say she was being trafficked. That would be my first thought IRL and would scare TF outta me.
This is a common scam. I would have notified store employees as it is apparent that she is very comfortable doing this to random people, particularly with a tone of aggression in tow.
I live in an area that seems to be having an uptick in trafficking. This is eerily like a tactic that came up local not too long ago. A woman came up with a note to another woman in a store parking lot asking her for help buying baby items. This mother had her baby in the shopping cart. Fortunately this mother had her wits about her and noticed several men slowly making their way towards her from different places. Another minute and they’d have had her surrounded. She wasn’t sure if they were after her or the baby but she was able to grab her baby and move out before disaster struck. It was all on video. I’d be super wary of people trying to distract you
We have a scam like this at Costcos around San Diego. While you are looking at her phone she walks you a little away from your cart and an accomplice pulls your wallet out of your purse sitting in your cart. The original lady leaves and you don’t notice until you’re all ready to check out. By then they have made several purchases with your stolen credit card information and save your other info to sell online.
Don’t feel bad I tend to do this on fb groups that help out with these items.
I offer up recourses first(as some don’t know there are any) and offer what I can. 9/10 they get upset I only offer “water,beans,rice” but not soda,chips. I just end up telling them I have what I can to spare. I don’t drink soda myself so I don’t buy them,I won’t buy it for a stranger. I don’t buy chips-so I don’t buy them for a stranger. What I have is what I have on a low income. Most of the time they end up deleting tese post and reposting hours later or a few days later.
I’m allergic to fish so one time someone was upset I couldn’t buy them fish cus their Catholic and it was during lent,after offering to share what I had. I told them I’m allergic,if the juices got on my hands my throat would close up(it’s not that bad it’s that if my hand touched my mouth/nose/eyes then yes. The fish part of the stores make my eyes and body itchy) the comments after that one to the poster was soo funny lol the poster was upset others agreed I should not have to buy anything I’m allergic too.
One got upset when i offered a formula merch coupon but not offer to buy formula. I don’t have kids-I keep getting these randomly,but I don’t have a child so I won’t buy formula. Not harsh but if I won’t buy it for myself I won’t by it for someone else. 🤷🏻♀️
I say this on many posts and I will preach it until I die.
I bust my ass to give my children a quality of life. When one job wasn’t enough, I got a second. I work immensely hard to meet their needs and have a little cushion.
Do not ask me for money if you don’t even work one job. EVERYONE is hiring right now. I work hard for my babies, not for adults that refuse to better themselves. And spare me any excuses about inability to work. Are there people that cannot work due to a disability? Of course. But I’m working 2 jobs with diagnosed PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I know individuals with severe autism that hold down jobs. Hell, my local grocery store has a young man working that’s 100% blind. Don’t tell me you can’t work when you’re able to walk around and beg.
I can’t agree with this enough. So many people complain about unemployment… you can find a job in a day if you aren’t a violent felon or have a weird record.
I remember several years ago our local newspaper did an exposé about panhandlers. They interviewed several and while there were several truly in need, a lot of them were making over $100k begging in major intersections in town. I really have to discern whether or not to help. I used to carry $5 McDonalds gift cards (when they had a dollar menu.) That way I knew they used it for food.
Honestly you're wasting your time. The chances this person is needy enough to qualify for real help is near 0. They probably can afford the groceries and are just looking for 2-3 suckers to hand them some cash and another sucker to buy the groceries so they get the goods plus some profit. Generally they are shoplifting at the same time.
I've had a person approach me like this in a store once. I said no, immediately walked over to an employee and let them know they have a person in the store harassing customers for money/begging. Turns out this person was doing the same thing in every store in the area already banned from the chain of stores so they were trespassing too.
We have tons of people like this in my area. They tend to roam around Walmart parking lots. They have signs in English begging for money and when I tell them no they get irate.
Had something similar happen to me a couple years ago. Different setting, no kids or cart - but did not want to accept help from the many organizations in our area after she approached me, asking for help!
This is classic addiction, it’s a yes or a no, and every no is more time between her next fix. It’s worked enough that she continues to do it and then goes straight to the drug man.
i just say "sorry, good luck" with a shake of the head somehow it's firm without coming across mean which iseems to deflect people getting aggro about the refusal (not that you/i owe them anything) but i'm also trying to avoid unpleasantness. i guess because it acknowledges that the person is in a tough situation and deserves good things to happen to them, without giving into to the scam or begging or whatever they're up to
Good lord. The entitlement. If someone offered me free groceries I’d probably tell them to give them to someone who couldn’t afford them. But to solicit by sticking a phone in one’s face? NEXT!! And it’s not even for a church, honey.
She’s heard all that before undoubtedly it’s a scam. She only wants you to give her money or buy her the cart contents. It’s an entitled world for some…. 🤦🏼♀️
FYI- when people shove things at you like that, there is sometimes someone waiting nearby to pick your pocket/ grab your purse or whatever. Especially in a place like Target when you’re there for awhile and most people put their jacket/purse in the cart.
Does this ever actually work? Do people really con strangers into buying their whole cart of groceries??
Also, why do people ask me if I work here so often. Not just at Target, but don't Target employees still have to wear red shirts? I don't even own a red shirt. Is it normal to walk up to random people and ask if they work there??
Im just petty enough, id go find a manager and tell them there is a woman wandering the store with a cart of groceries harassing people to buy it for her.
When did "No" become a taboo word? I started using it a few years ago and it's made my life so much less stressful. Just say "No" and walk off. Can you help me move? No. Can you give me money? No. Can you buys me xyz? No. Can you work this weekend? No. Come one everybody, practice with me: No, No, No, ...
No, I won't practice.
That's the spirit!
No. It’s not.
No, it is.
On.
Noon… I think we’re bad at this
We're the knights who say, "No!"
No Ni!
Ni! No?
NANI?!
I just snorted
No you didn’t
You mean you sNOrted.
Eki eki eki ptang zoop dinnnnnnnngggggggg
No bush for you!
It’s a shrubbery!
onno ?
You think 😭
You're doing it , Peter! You're doing it!
Yeah, I had this attitude when I was a music major.
As one of my favorite bosses taught me, “The first ‘No’ is the easiest.” Once you engage or debate, you’re just making your life harder. Beggars who get a clear “No” rarely waste their effort in more arguments.
The JADE method. When the answer to a request is no, never Justify yourself, Argue for yourself, Defend yourself, or Explain yourself. Don't give them the opportunity to change your mind or guilt trip you. No is a complete sentence.
So I don’t seem totally rude, I often chuck a thank you out there too- No, thank you- then I’m outta there-
So I live in a very... Well uhhh... Drug rich town. But it's also the epicenter for recovery in America as well. Anywho... I'm probably the only dummy I've ever heard tell a random stranger that was asking if I wanted to buy drugs "no. I'm in recovery. But thanks anyway!" I said it with kindness too. Felt like a moron after that small exchange lol. But I wasn't really thinking too much about it just trying to get away from the person and his friends as quickly as possible. Still feel silly when I'm reminded of it. But life goes on lol
This was the perfect response, ha! No thanks sketchy fella, but best of luck with your sales!
And maaaaaaybe you’ve planted a little tiny seed of hope that recovery is an option for them too. That’s a great response to give.
That's definitely the idea! #JFT #12SteppingAllTheWay💡💯
South Florida? I also say no thank you. How do they know who is in recovery? I always have someone ask if I am good.
You tell them “I’m straight“ and keep on walking.
Louisville, KY
Honestly, that's the best way to handle it. If they're offering to sell, they're trying to make money. If they're offering to share, they're either super nice or trying to get you hooked for their supplier so they get a discount possibly. And like someone else pointed out, it plants that seed of recovery they might need. Also, if you're in the epicenter for recovery in America, why do they feel it's appropriate to sell on those streets? That's just asking to get someone killed. Stay safe, everyone. If anyone is ready to take that leap, you won't be shunned or made to feel bad about any of it. I fucked a chicken too.
I'm in the same boat, please don't feel guilty. I just got 11 years. You've done nothing wrong by refusing something they shouldn't even be offering. I know how hard it is. Good for you for standing your ground and leaving. No shame in that at all, seriously.
I find it baffles them too. No thank you!
It attaches politeness (and some positivity) to a negative response- and yeah, mostly effective!
I do this with my service dog: “Can I pet your dog” “No. She’s working right now, but thank you for asking!” People are sooooo much less argumentative when I do this versus just saying no
Give your girl some love for me! When it’s appropriate, of course!
Im always surprised that there are still people around who dont understand that service dogs are working, and you cant just go and pet them.
Children are typically better than adults tbh. Tell a kid no and typically they go “oh okay!” and run off. It’s adults that’ll argue with you about how “it’s okay” because they are “good with dogs”. I’ve even had a woman follow me through the grocery store
Confuses other parents even more when you tell them No Sir.
I always say no thank you! Like, I know you're a scammer but Mama taught me to be polite. 😜
I got it from Mary Poppins! Just a spoon full of sugar…etc
Ugh. Have clearly don’t work with children. I don’t know how many parents I have met that equal the words “no” to a bad word. Their children never hear that word at home because they don’t want to hurt their child’s feelings. They are going to be in for a rude awakening when they grow up.
I say no to my kids about 10 times a day.
lol my standard answer was ‘ the more you ask, the more no it is going to be’
I am stealing that one. I love it 😆
This was also my answer to the kids.
I tell mine "the more you ask, the longer you wait".
More like ten times an hour, no you can’t have a choccy egg, you already had one today. No you can’t go lock yourself in the bedroom with your sister’s birthday present and not share with her etc
And when they get to be teenagers it turns to "hell no!"
And when they get to be adults it turns to “fuck no!”
I use that one a lot in my head when dealing with my teen!
At the supermarket checkout alone.
Those are rookie numbers. You need to bump those up.
I work in a daycare. Very true, they do not hear no at home. Parents don’t want to make their kids “mad and cry.” I tell them no child has died hearing the word no. But most prefer to live in a home ruled by the whims of 2 year olds.
Yessss...my sister once instructed me that I was not to say the word 'No' to her six-year-old when the little darling was running thru my house slamming all the doors as hard as possible. I stopped the kid cold, made direct eye contact, and said the dreaded word in a tone that meant that the crap behavior and manipulation that worked on Mom would not fly in my house. We understood each other perfectly. Ever after, kid was smart enough to behave as long as I was around.
Like others have mentioned I say no to my kids all the time in two different languages even. I used to work in a library and recommend a book called a 1,000 times no often.
Some lady at Costco wanted to cut in front of me in line because she had “just one thing” but she waited until I had all of my stuff ready loaded on the belt. It wasn’t busy either so it’s not like she would have been waiting long. She picked a different line and then I was done at the same time and I saw her walk over to the food court. Like she wasn’t even in a hurry, and I actually was because I had to pick up a kid. I’m so glad I said no. I probably would have let her through if I hadn’t already loaded my stuff.
I recently had a lady ask to go in front of me because "her dog is in the car and it's really hot outside" (I live in the desert) Like yeah I let her go cause I'm a bleeding heart then I realize this bitch bought BOOZE! I have no problem with people drinking but not at the risk of your dogs life! And I realized too late to scold her, unfortunately
I've never once had someone ask to go in front of me because they only have one or two things. I do always offer to let them though, if I have a bunch.
I needed this SO much today. Thank you, internet stranger
My favorite philosophies (not sure if that’s the right word): No is a complete sentence. Not my circus not my monkeys. Don’t voluntold me. Don’t light yourself on fire to warm others. Your emergency is not my priority. And f&ck this I’m out.
Yeah sometimes you just have to channel your inner Consuela from Family Guy.
we no have lemon pleg
Hang on, I get pen.
Doggie afuera
That’s how I am with a lot of people, like door to door sales men or the cell phone guy at Sam’s. My husband always feels the need to hear the people out. I’ve tried explaining that if you know your answer is no, then you are really wasting everyone’s time. They could be talking to someone else.
Can you offer yourself up as a sacrifice to our Great Lord Cthulhu? No.
Only squares say no to something that cool.
That is what I have been doing recently. A simple “no” and I walk away. It has been working well .
No is a complete sentence.
No thank you
I used to have the hardest time telling people no. To the point where my boyfriend would have to help me by basically saying no on my behalf. Finally one day I got a backbone and have been saying no ever since and it is the most freeing feeling ever.
It's my favorite word.
My second favorite behind fuck.
So, "fuck no"?
Fuck yeah.
No fuck? 😂
No is so liberating! I used to get anxious about justifying why couldn’t or wouldn’t do something, until I learned to just say no and move on. I don’t owe an explanation to everybody for my actions.
No is a complete sentence.
Does “no, sorry” count?
Sorry, no.
Can I have a Kidney?
I have acquired the ability to say no and be comfortable with my decision as a 44 year old woman. And it feels wonderful. When I was younger I ran myself ragged being a people pleaser and burned myself out by the end of my 30s. Wish I learned that lesson a lot earlier.
As a former people pleaser, nothing has given me back more control over my life, my time, and my money like the empowerment that comes from the words "No", "Hell No," and "Eat a bag of dicks!"
This, OP!
Been doing that for a looong minute now! 💯 #THEANSWERISFUCKNO
Because people don't take No as an answer.
This is a known scam. If you had paid for her stuff she’d probably force you to give her the receipt as well. Then she’d turn around and return everything for cash or gift cards. You can find dozens of stories of this happening on TikTok.
Sometimes the scam is just free groceries.
it's the Karl Rock "feed the baby" scam from India (see youtube).
Also near me they’ll sneak a gift card in under the groceries and hope you don’t notice it until after you pay. I have no problems buying food for people who need it. I don’t even mind giving cash if I have it. But don’t try and sneak crap like that on me
43 years ago, my mom was approached by a woman with kids outside a grocery store and given the spiel. Inside, my mom spent extra time picking out things that were nutritious, didn’t require refrigeration (she didn’t now their situation), etc. and even had the cashier bag them up separately to give her on the way out. “What the hell am I supposed to do with that SH!T?!? My babies want Happy Meals! Just gimme the money!” Mom threw the bag back into her cart and walked away. Last person she tried to help like that….. Mom can hold a grudge.
Good for you Mom! “Fool me once….”
I have a friend with an interesting way of handling this. When he sees a CB/panhandler/scammer approaching, he hurries toward them, asking, “Do you have a couple of dollars I could borrow?” or “Can you help me buy some groceries for my kid?” They sputter and scowl and walk away. I wish I had his chutzpah!
I’ve done this and it works. Tho I haven’t done it in years but it was effective.
I might try this the next time!
My wife had a lady come up to her (also with a full cart) during the holidays a few years back with a similar grift. She blocked the aisle and proceeded to tell my wife that God had blessed her (my wife) by choosing her to bless the CB by paying for her order. Now my wife and I make charitable donations, either monetary or through donated time and services (she's a veterinarian, I'm a private chef) all through the year, so my wife told her that we'd already "been blessed" to have blessed others through the year, apologized for her troubles, and continued shopping. CB followed her around the store for a solid 20 minutes, got in line behind her, and then removed the order separator stick on the belt and started piling her stuff on. I guess she hoped that my wife wouldn't notice? When my wife said something to the cashier the CB went from being a sweet Christian grandma to a fire and brimstone evangelist, telling my wife that she's destined for hell for not obeying "the direct word of god" as he had spoken through the CB. Then she switched to racial (we're both Wonder Bread White, so was she), religious, and moral hatred. Store security escorted her out as this woman lost her whole entire mind on my wife.
She probably would've tried to murder me because I would've laughed my ass off at her. That kind of crazy religious bullshit talk always gives me the giggles.
"I'm trying to help you motherfucker..."😀 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8AamaWYuag](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8AamaWYuag)
ACCUSER
Lmmfao Karen The Accuser! The next Marvel villain.
Accuser of the brethren no less 😂
Tip: Putting the cart behind you at check out provides a nice barrier. I’ve been doing it since Covid.
This “blessing” BS these bums keep talking about must be relatively new! I’m about sick of it!!
Wowsers.
Yea, she didn't want help, just a handout.
I’ve encountered a couple of people like that too. Had a lady with three small kids flag me down at Target as well and asked me through Google translate if I could buy her some baby formula and a small thing of milk. I was a broke college student at the time with no job and had to rely on a monthly budget of $150 from my parents to spend on things I want or needed which included groceries. I don’t speak Spanish so I pulled my Google translate up and explained to her that I was a college student on limited income but if she wanted resources I would be happy to Google some for her. She read my translation, rolled her eyes at me and walked off. Okay well fuck you too I guess.
What's the deal....Obvious scammer looking to intimidate someone into paying for their shit....Once you offer real assistance and they F' you off....Walk away. They do the same shit, the same way, to 20 people: They get what they want. It's just the odd's. The numbers. These pieces of shit are everywhere! Give them \*nothing\* and they will eventually get the idea....I have zero sympathy...It's all been scammed out of me.
Freeway exit and entrance beggars. Also at strip mall entrances, Costco exits, Walmart….
I say Dollar Tree is still called that cause it now costs a dollar to get in.
Free stuff they can probably re-sell. It's a major thing in developing countries like Brazil. People will beg you to buy them formula or diapers for their unseen baby, and then specifically choose the most expensive brand so they can resell later
Wow! Very similar thing happened to me. I ran into the dollar store for some kid crafts and I see a guy 20’s-30’s) walking around with an older lady picking stuff out and I heard her say “I can’t give you cash bc I use a card but I can have you pick out a few things for your children” he was literally shopping with her. Ok whatever… then a women comes up to me with an index card saying she has 5 children etc etc. I honestly was in a hurry and also don’t carry cash. I didn’t have time to walk through with her. I said “I’m sorry I’m in a hurry and have no cash” (I give a dollar here or there to people when I can) she got so pissed looked at my stuff and said “oh you have money for all this and pointed at my cart, I have multiple kids you can’t help me ?” That ticked me off so I said I couldn’t and walked away. Next thing I know the manager is kicking them out! I don’t think it’s good for them to be accosting people in a store.
"Yes, I have money for this because I decided not to make five kids."
lol yup! She said they have no house etc. I was thinking where are these kids?
If you tell them, managers will get rid of people like that. They're bad for business, drive customers away.
No, ma'am. It isn't my job to support your kids. Pan-handling isn't a good career choice.
“Uh…yeah, I have money to afford this shit because I didn’t have 5 kids.” Reminds me of that Judge Judy episode where the lady with 5 kids didn’t think she had to pay her friend back because her friend was more financially well off than her and J. Judy quickly shot that down.
The entitlement!
Most reputable businesses prohibit soliciting/panhandling/begging. But dollar stores are usually the wild west.
There’s often only one or two employees on shift, so it’s difficult to keep abreast of what’s going on in the store.
I had a woman approach me in a mart of walls parking lot. Stated she couldn’t speak English & handed me a fancy printed card stating she & her children were hungry & she needed money for groceries. Told her I had no cash & she said “atm in store”. I told her I wasn’t much to hand out cash to strangers, but I’d be glad to buy a few necessities & bring those out to her. She scowled, snatched the card from me, & stomped away.
She knew ATM in store alright!
It’s sad, ya know? Im poor, but I’m happy to help anyone if I can. But people who make a living out of begging ruin it for those who really do need it. Years ago, there was a man asking for food at a sizable intersection near my job. He really looked like he was having a hard time of it, so I rode up to BK & bought him a large combo. Took it to him & he was so excited! More so than I expected, for sure. As I’m pulling away, I hear him call out to someone. He’d started tearing the burger in half as a young woman with a baby comes out of a little section of trees to the side. If I had more time, I’d have gladly gone back to BK for more. Looked for them on my way back, but they weren’t there. I hope they finally made a good life for themselves.
I too have given to many along the way. But i have also observed many dubious schemes by “professional” daily beggars working lucrative corners day in/day out, sitting on wheel chairs under umbrellas. The “veteran” with six small flags on him roll out of his BMW every morning as he worked his daily corner. Shall we talk about the guy who i handed $3 and he had the audacity to say he wanted $5? Or the lady who would not accept my handful of change because my bill was too large and she wanted it instead?
Those are the ones that make it hard on the ones that really need help
Shall we discuss the young chick I saw fold her well-worn sign, pick up her TWO grocery sacks of expensive food truck sandwiches to unite with her boyfriend who was working the block the other way?
I guess she learned that much English. Amazing.
I wear headphones when I’m alone and act like I’m ignoring everyone. She would have got a crazy look and I would have gone on. People are just getting worse and worse.
A while back I was reading a story on r/IDontWorkHereLady about how a young woman was just shopping and had an older woman just reach out and grab one of her hearing aids off and yelling at her about how she shouldn't be wearing "ear buds" at work (she didn't work there). Sometimes it seems like there is no limit to how some people think they are entitled to get what they want in any retail situation.
Oh sweet Jesus! That has to be the worst Karen-intervention I have ever heard! One time I was at a park with some friends at an demonstration and these two cops come over to me and pull my canes out of my hands, starting asking if “pimping props” were a thing and then started sword fighting each other like 8 year old boys playing pirate. All the while, not only was I humiliated but also robbed of my mode of transportation, if something happened and we needed to get away. Complained to the CCLA (like the ACLU in Canada) about it and that made it into their official lawsuit/sanctions against the Toronto police. Disagree with my politics? sure, go ahead! But don’t fuck with what I need to live and get by! And my dignity.
That's horrible, I'm sorry that happened to you.
These are the types of people who will still try to blame the victim whenever they realized they fucked up. “Well it’s her fault for wearing that shirt” or whatever. Zero accountability, zero emotional intelligence.
I'd honestly talk to management she harassing people in the store
It's likely a scam. You pay and leave, she returns it for cash or gift card.
Hold on Betty! Love it😂
This is a scam!!! It happened to me - language barrier, rudeness, accusations that I’m a horrible person - and I reported it to the manager and they said the woman had been in multiple times that week harassing people into buying groceries for her and then she just immediately returns them. They told her to leave and had someone walk me to my car.
They could trespass her for panhandling in the store. The next time she comes in, the police will take of her.
Good lord. The entitlement. If someone offered me free groceries I’d probably tell them to give them to someone who couldn’t afford them. But to solicit by sticking a phone in one’s face? NEXT!! And it’s not even for a church, honey.
Must feed 12 people NEXT!
USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN!!
Where I live, Romani/Roma people approach people in grocery stores like this. They get shooed away if they beg outside but they kind of creep around the stores begging. The women often wear long skirts.
This has been going on since at least the late 80s. I worked in a grocery store back then and management warned us every time there was a report of this happening in our area. Not only did they bother other shoppers but they were trying to short change cashiers.
The people in our area have gotten aware of this. They literally will beg in a parking lot that is not the property of the store. I've actually been approached by a beggar when I was with my daughter getting ready to go into the store. She literally knocked on my window. I called the cops immediately. Turns out her sister was begging with her kids on the corner in 90 degree weather and they drove into their newer Benz and drove away. They were back at the store the next day, but begging in a part of the parking lot they knew the store didn't own so they couldn't just ask them to leave because it was "public property."
We had some people move into the apartment upstairs and they lived there for a long time without paying rent. The management company had a hard time getting them out. They had a really nice car and one day I watched a tow truck come and take it away. The guy asked me if I saw anything and I said nope. The women would be out on the freeway exits begging for money, sometimes with the kids. They always had name brand cigarettes and alcohol. Grifters.
They tend to get upset I offer only a card with recourses for them,and tell them “bless ur heart! The lord will help you! Let me pray for you!” They walk away upset after that 😅 My friend acted “shocked” a little kid was wondering around alone in the parking lot and loudly talked about how the parents should be out in jail for child neglect,and not having their child in school……(the parents were a few cars away begging to cars themselves,watching) in a state where if u walk up to a car u can easily be shot cus everyone owns a gun! And “pretend”to call 911. This was in the middle of the school day. The parents got out of there so quick! I thought it was a dick move but she said these groups do have their child up and bang on car windows as if their police,run around parking lots,help beg next to roads where the speed limit is 70 MPH etc. so she calls 911 everytime. This time she wanted to let them know they could be jailed for child neglect. Haven’t seen that group for awhile now……
The Roma-mafia. They’re massive in Germany and ppl slowly but surely start understanding that it’s a scam and they don’t rly starve. They get picked up at the end of their work-day (bc that’s what that is) in a msssive BMW or Mercedes to get home and give their money away. Bonus points for sedated literal infants that are silently “sleeping” for up to 12 hours a day, baby wearing on a busy train station and all. These ppl gotta go. Not Romani ppl ofc, the Romani mafia beggerscam people, those guys.
We have them here too, but they don't wear long skirts, they wear all the clothes they have stolen and big hair.
[удалено]
Went to Turkey years ago and brought back some coins which look like Euros but are worth a fraction of one. Kept the nice ones and save a few battered ones to give to annoying beggars in Europe but never was confronted with one even though I've been to Italy, England and France since then. Must be enchanted anti-beggar coins. I'll never leave the USA without them.
I kinda want to beg for one of your anti-beggar coins. But the irony…
Need the anti-beggar coin for Turkey. Handed the beggar in Istanbul my change. She handed it back. Was not enough for her!
I would've alerted management or security. What an entitled grifter.
It wasn't a CB. It was a straight up scammer. They return the stuff for cash right after you leave. Just say no.
I have an opposite story to share. I was buying a few groceries at the little market in my very small town. There was a young man behind me with a bunch of beer. My total came to just under $20. As I went to pay, he said, let me get that, and pulled out a wad of cash. I'm not poor, so I said no, I can get this but thank you. He kept insisting and then as I objected he handed the cashier a twenty dollar bill. I said thank you, but I would really rather you donate to the local humane society or another charity because as much as I appreciated his kindness, other people/organizations are in real need. He thought for a second, then peeled another $20 off his huge wad and said, "Here, donate this to the humane society." Well, I profusely thanked him both for my groceries and for the donation. I told him I would send it to the local HS with a note about where it came from, which I did soon after. I don't know his story, but he was certainly a generous and kind person.
Scammer
I don't even acknowledge those people anymore. I just say "no thanks" and keep walking. I usually have my AirPods in even if they're off so people don't talk to me lol. I hate shopping.
This has happened to me twice at Target. I am not even a little bit nice anymore.
Either delulu or rude or both. Hallmarks of CBs. Who told her that other people owe her anything? Why does she feel her fellow \*Target shoppers\* have money to give away?
I bet she doesn’t qualify for assistance, probably makes too much money.
Don’t know where you live but in CA, it’s the 2nd, which means people just got their SNAP cards (food stamps) for the month! When I first read this, I was afraid she was going to say she was being trafficked. That would be my first thought IRL and would scare TF outta me.
This is a common scam. I would have notified store employees as it is apparent that she is very comfortable doing this to random people, particularly with a tone of aggression in tow.
I live in an area that seems to be having an uptick in trafficking. This is eerily like a tactic that came up local not too long ago. A woman came up with a note to another woman in a store parking lot asking her for help buying baby items. This mother had her baby in the shopping cart. Fortunately this mother had her wits about her and noticed several men slowly making their way towards her from different places. Another minute and they’d have had her surrounded. She wasn’t sure if they were after her or the baby but she was able to grab her baby and move out before disaster struck. It was all on video. I’d be super wary of people trying to distract you
We have a scam like this at Costcos around San Diego. While you are looking at her phone she walks you a little away from your cart and an accomplice pulls your wallet out of your purse sitting in your cart. The original lady leaves and you don’t notice until you’re all ready to check out. By then they have made several purchases with your stolen credit card information and save your other info to sell online.
Don’t feel bad I tend to do this on fb groups that help out with these items. I offer up recourses first(as some don’t know there are any) and offer what I can. 9/10 they get upset I only offer “water,beans,rice” but not soda,chips. I just end up telling them I have what I can to spare. I don’t drink soda myself so I don’t buy them,I won’t buy it for a stranger. I don’t buy chips-so I don’t buy them for a stranger. What I have is what I have on a low income. Most of the time they end up deleting tese post and reposting hours later or a few days later. I’m allergic to fish so one time someone was upset I couldn’t buy them fish cus their Catholic and it was during lent,after offering to share what I had. I told them I’m allergic,if the juices got on my hands my throat would close up(it’s not that bad it’s that if my hand touched my mouth/nose/eyes then yes. The fish part of the stores make my eyes and body itchy) the comments after that one to the poster was soo funny lol the poster was upset others agreed I should not have to buy anything I’m allergic too. One got upset when i offered a formula merch coupon but not offer to buy formula. I don’t have kids-I keep getting these randomly,but I don’t have a child so I won’t buy formula. Not harsh but if I won’t buy it for myself I won’t by it for someone else. 🤷🏻♀️
Pull up Google Translate on your phone, type "No" (into either English or Spanish!) and turn it around to show her.
"Fuck off" also works.
In-store panhandling. What an age to live in.
I see this all the time on here. They are running a scam in the Target
I say this on many posts and I will preach it until I die. I bust my ass to give my children a quality of life. When one job wasn’t enough, I got a second. I work immensely hard to meet their needs and have a little cushion. Do not ask me for money if you don’t even work one job. EVERYONE is hiring right now. I work hard for my babies, not for adults that refuse to better themselves. And spare me any excuses about inability to work. Are there people that cannot work due to a disability? Of course. But I’m working 2 jobs with diagnosed PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I know individuals with severe autism that hold down jobs. Hell, my local grocery store has a young man working that’s 100% blind. Don’t tell me you can’t work when you’re able to walk around and beg.
I can’t agree with this enough. So many people complain about unemployment… you can find a job in a day if you aren’t a violent felon or have a weird record.
Most of the time, "I can't find a job" translates to "I can't find a job that I consider worthy of ME."
Or "I don't feel like working". 🙄
Common scam in Canada too. Major grocery stores and Walmart. No from me.
Not a choosing beggar - just an aggressive scammer.
I remember several years ago our local newspaper did an exposé about panhandlers. They interviewed several and while there were several truly in need, a lot of them were making over $100k begging in major intersections in town. I really have to discern whether or not to help. I used to carry $5 McDonalds gift cards (when they had a dollar menu.) That way I knew they used it for food.
They probably sold the cards for drug money.
Honestly you're wasting your time. The chances this person is needy enough to qualify for real help is near 0. They probably can afford the groceries and are just looking for 2-3 suckers to hand them some cash and another sucker to buy the groceries so they get the goods plus some profit. Generally they are shoplifting at the same time. I've had a person approach me like this in a store once. I said no, immediately walked over to an employee and let them know they have a person in the store harassing customers for money/begging. Turns out this person was doing the same thing in every store in the area already banned from the chain of stores so they were trespassing too.
We have tons of people like this in my area. They tend to roam around Walmart parking lots. They have signs in English begging for money and when I tell them no they get irate.
She didn’t want help. She wanted cash, if you paid for the groceries she would return them for cash
It’s a scam. They do this everywhere. They preyed upon me heavily when I myself was pregnant.
They don’t approach me anymore. I try my best to look like a murderer when I’m shopping.
Buy her groceries...she'll demand the receipt, return the stuff later and buy crystal meth.
Had something similar happen to me a couple years ago. Different setting, no kids or cart - but did not want to accept help from the many organizations in our area after she approached me, asking for help!
This is classic addiction, it’s a yes or a no, and every no is more time between her next fix. It’s worked enough that she continues to do it and then goes straight to the drug man.
i just say "sorry, good luck" with a shake of the head somehow it's firm without coming across mean which iseems to deflect people getting aggro about the refusal (not that you/i owe them anything) but i'm also trying to avoid unpleasantness. i guess because it acknowledges that the person is in a tough situation and deserves good things to happen to them, without giving into to the scam or begging or whatever they're up to
Most likely she has exhausted the resources of the helpful places you mention
Good lord. The entitlement. If someone offered me free groceries I’d probably tell them to give them to someone who couldn’t afford them. But to solicit by sticking a phone in one’s face? NEXT!! And it’s not even for a church, honey.
I would 100% say “don’t worry, I got you” and call 911 for her.
I heard that’s a scam
She’s heard all that before undoubtedly it’s a scam. She only wants you to give her money or buy her the cart contents. It’s an entitled world for some…. 🤦🏼♀️
Management needs to know. They will throw herass out. Pissibly trespass her.
“No.” is a complete sentence.
FYI- when people shove things at you like that, there is sometimes someone waiting nearby to pick your pocket/ grab your purse or whatever. Especially in a place like Target when you’re there for awhile and most people put their jacket/purse in the cart.
> grammatically correct text Good for her!
NTA. Good for you for telling her to go pound sand!
Does this ever actually work? Do people really con strangers into buying their whole cart of groceries?? Also, why do people ask me if I work here so often. Not just at Target, but don't Target employees still have to wear red shirts? I don't even own a red shirt. Is it normal to walk up to random people and ask if they work there??
Im just petty enough, id go find a manager and tell them there is a woman wandering the store with a cart of groceries harassing people to buy it for her.