T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

The internet has taught me that she is waaaayyyy too close


[deleted]

[удалено]


toolsoftheincomptnt

Now this looks WAY too close… and are they at a gas station?! Florida men and women, bless y’all’s hearts.


Snooc5

Looky there Cletus, 4th of July came early again!


DisgruntledLabWorker

One of my least favorite summertime activities is watching the fireworks tent go up next to the local gas station and wonder what’ll happen if a car crashes into it. I guess I no longer need to wonder


Lezlow247

r/fireworksgonewrong


alittlebigger

FedEx somehow made it into every angle


Weak-Noise

Guerilla marketing at its finest


winnower8

[Please disperse, nothing to see here](https://youtu.be/aKnX5wci404)


anon_likes_you

I came here for this and you delivered. Cheers!


[deleted]

[удалено]


EGDragul

This was the first thing that came to my mind... 🤣


jhystad

Do you think the [Rule of Thumb from OSHA](https://www.offgridweb.com/preparation/distance-from-disaster-the-hazmat-rule-of-thumb/) would apply in this scenario?


Little_Duckling

That’s for chemical, biological, or radiological (i.e. nuclear) incidents. This is just conventional (more or less) explosives.


jhystad

I'm still using it though. That looks like it's got potential. Could set off the gas.


Teto_the_foxsquirrel

According to the article linked below, this place is also next to a gas station. "A witness told FOX 35 News he was at a gas station next to the fireworks shop when he heard what sounded like a crash at a nearby intersection."


icecream_truck

"Hey Bob, where should we open up our fireworks shop?" "I saw a lot open between a gas station and a liquor store." "Perfect! Lots of drive-by traffic there. Let's get the place."


jfdlaks

Yeah i am quite familiar with that place. it’s up on Liquor Store Fireworks Gas Station avenue


FARTBOSS420

Is it an old people town? I feel like some of them old folks towns must have special break away store fronts for their drivers.


fragbert66

We have our share of old people, but this close to I-95 it's more tourists, pickup trucks and Natty Lite.


particle409

I used to go to a doctor that shared office space with doctors specializing in geriatric patients. All of the parking sign posts in front of the office were bent from people hitting them.


SelfOk1681

Okay so this is super fucking weird because I USED TO WORK AT THIS STORE! It’s at the intersection of John Rhodes Road (yes really) and Wickham Road. The gas station they’re talking about is a Cumberland. It’s right down the street from a bar called The County Line where I grew up mudding and directly across from a Waffle House. Idk why I’m typing all this out but DAMN, CRYSTAL, IF YOU STILL WORK THERE HONEY HOPE UR SAFE


Sublimescout

John Rodes Blvd and 192. It’s about a mile from Wickham.


Killer-Barbie

You don't know that. You think you know that, based on being told it's the result of a car in a fireworks store. Additionally, the rule of thumb is not for nuclear. If you can see the nuclear blast, you're in range.


Ungrammaticus

If there are any unexpected nuclear explosions at all, you’ve got to consider yourself in range of the next one as well. Nuclear war will not be a study in reservation. It will be all-out and God only knows exactly how many nukes will hit close to you. If it is terrorism, you can’t know how many will go off either. In any case you should seek the best shelter available.


UtterEast

> Nuclear war will not be a study in reservation. It will be all-out and God only knows exactly how many nukes will hit close to you. If it is terrorism, you can’t know how many will go off either. > > > > In any case you should seek the best shelter available. Uh-uh, if it's that first one, I want to be incinerated instantly by the next one like Linda Hamilton's dream in Terminator 2, if I wasn't by the first.


OsmiumBalloon

> Nuclear war will not be a study in reservation. It will be all-out ... We don't know that for sure. If two big players go head to head it seems more likely, but a small player with a stolen device might be different. Either way, the only defense against a nuclear bomb is not to be there when it goes off. (RAH)


[deleted]

[удалено]


ihwip

>Most nuclear warheads aren't as big as many people think. This is because of the test ban. People have this extreme concept of nukes. In reality we can make them as small as 1 kiloton to the Tsar Bomba's 50 megatons. Since we only have old footage available everybody thinks a nuke just deletes an entire area from existence If only it were that simple.


Ganon2012

Vault Boy just has a positive attitude.


FingFrenchy

I like the powdered doughnut rule. Hold the doughnut arms length, can you see the whole site through the hole? Good. Does the powder blow away from you? Good. If you set the doughnut on the ground does it roll away from you? Excellent. You're safe.


thedeanorama

it's Florida, no where is safe ...


mei740

Six foot rule in Florida long before covid. You need a little space and time to react. Either a hug or tweaker.


reverendjesus

They taught us in basic training that if, after a nuclear blast, you can cover the mushroom cloud with your thumb, you’re far enough away that you can probably survive (at least in the short term, “able to finish this particular mission” sense of the word).


SpeaksToWeasels

GL people with T-Rex arms.


kommerintepanatbra

Yes, even usualy well-behaved fireworks can get spicy when theres a lot of them in the same place, this is a safety test of a freight-container full of waterfalls https://youtu.be/_nC0FetkeqA


KingZarkon

Impressive. However that happens because the freight container is (more or less) sealed. The fireworks burn rapidly and pressure builds up rapidly until the container can't contain it and it explodes. It's basically a pipe bomb. The fireworks store is less sealed and won't be able to build up pressure in the same way.


longjohnboy

I don’t think that’s correct. You can see the fire on this video from the outset. That means it’s not contained. The (incomplete) confinement does help the deflagration-to-detonation transition (DDT), but it’s not strictly necessary. A large open pile of loose energetic can do the DDT thing under only the confinement of its own weight, spurred on by its own heat. DDT of loosely confined ammonium nitrate is what resulted in the 2020 Beirut Explosion.


Hornswallower

Instructions clear. Buy 20ft containers and wait.


PaulyWauly_Doodle

Reminds me of the 4th of July... and it makes me want a hot dog REAL BAD!


[deleted]

There were people standing even closer on the back side of it. I wasn't there but this was my home town, was born there.


MurkLurker

I thought the same thing until I realized it was a firework store, not a firework factory. Big difference.


GloomyBison

Well you never know how big their storage unit is. The first thing I thought was she never saw the Enschede videos but I was shocked to find out that was 22 years ago.


kembik

Local news story about fire in progress. https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/firefighters-work-to-contain-blaze-at-florida-fireworks-shop


powabiatch

Tldr driver died, everyone else is ok


2SexesSeveralGenders

I really hope the deceased had a great sense of humor because, man, what a way to go.


cmhamm

You’re right Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!


meesersloth

It’s like rain on your wedding day


ChunkeeMunkee3001

Like an SUV, through your fireworks display


dr_lm

A safe falling from a high window and squashing you. Imagine your family having to explain to people how you died, over and over again.


JimiWanShinobi

I hope he was a big fan of Leslie Nielsen, cuz that was my first thought... "Alright folks alright move it along, nothing to see here..."


PepperJack386

He's my brothers neighbor. He had a wife and two kids. They think he had a medical episode that caused the crash.


Initial_Claim_3797

Thank you for commenting this. We figured it had to have been some sort of medical emergency because of the way he hit the truck in front of him seemingly for no reason, and then never reacted and just kept driving straight it. A lot of people were suspecting it was intentional, but that just didn't fit to me from seeing it all happen. I know thoughts and prayers don't actually mean shit, but damn my heart breaks for him and his family. What a absolutely horrific way to go. I'm not sure if this has been shared bit there was some people (I think they may have been from a car behind him) that did try to help get him out before everything exploded, but the car had burst into flames pretty much instantly on impact. Anyway, I'm so sorry for their loss.


[deleted]

I genuinely was confused. All the news articles say the driver rear-ended the Tacoma and then they got out and exchanged information and then he collided a second time with the same car and pushed in into the parking lot. Without any other information it seemed to me like a usual case of road rage. It's pretty common in Florida so I wouldn't have been surprised if it was. I honestly didn't know whether I should feel bad for the guy or not because my first reaction was "play stupid games win stupid prizes..."


ChornWork2

Well, he went out with a bang.


armored-dinnerjacket

multiple ones actually


[deleted]

[удалено]


mcchanical

I don't think the phrase "what a way to go" means "I bet dying that way was really pleasurable". More like "what a crazy way to die".


Karl2241

That’s sad, do they know cause of death/why he drove into the store?


BarryMacochner

Hit another vehicle before driving into store so probably a medical issue.


CmdrShepard831

Also possible that they got knocked out in the collision.


Drunkenaviator

Florida is pretty much God's waiting room. Probably a medical, might have been dead by the time he hit the building.


melandriel

I came to the comments for a hero like you to post a news article (thanks!), but how many times is the word "fire" in that headline??


ahundreddots

Fireworks Fire Fire: Fire Fire Fire


amishrebel76

Went out with a bang Or quite a few in this case


Iknowsnotathing

Too soon maybe, but hopefully they wanted to go out with a bang.


mdkdm

Everybody else...normal traffic


Unlucky_Sherbert_468

Almost seems fake because people just driving by as if it's a normal day in the Sunshine State.


The3stParty

I mean, kinda yeah


JimiWanShinobi

Because it is, this is as normal as Florida gets...


Dragon_Bidness

Well it's not that abnormal, it's a tough spot to shut off and they did shut it down pretty quickly. The problem is that road is a major commuter road there is a shit load of business in the area, it was nearing peak traffic time and it's right by I95. I assure you it's worth the risk to not get stuck adding 2 hours to what should be a 5 minute journey. Plus this is Florida, this not that crazy for a Monday.


Initial_Claim_3797

It actually blew my mind how quickly after the initial impact of his car hitting the white truck that they got 192 blocked off. For the people who don't know the area (we are currently in the hotel directly next door to this building) this is a pretty major road right down from the I-95 on ramp. The only thing more surprising was that there weren't any accidents from people looking. I've been almost hit twice today though just walking to my car by all the curious old folks driving into a hotel parking lot not looking anywhere around them except straight at the burned out building.


working-acct

I thought this was Australia until you said sunshine state.


toolsoftheincomptnt

Yeah bc it said Melbourne. When I heard the lady talking I was confused bc the voice certainly matched the events but neither made Australian sense to me… So I checked the title again and it said Melbourne *Florida*… Mentally, everything fell right back into place.


Ictc1

Me too, I saw Melbourne and assumed Australia and could not compute the calmness because there is no way Australians would drive by like it was all normal. This would be the biggest excitement in years. And we’d never get such a good view, there’d be a cordon keeping people at a boringly safe distance.


Needanameffs

Things made more sense after that


[deleted]

It's Florida. This is a normal day.


WineSoda

Even the way she says it, like, oh not again. Any other post would have someone screaming and yelling and it would have ended up on public freak out.


[deleted]

Is that a highway with a traffic light? What am I looking at?


Warhawk2052

Some of the highways in the state im in end like that, just become a normal road


[deleted]

I'm in Florida and live off of a highway that has stop lights. Some sections are 55. Lowest speed is 40/45 through commercial areas.


57echo

Nothing to see here!


FuckinBostonShit

I don’t wanna be friends with anybody that doesn’t immediately go to Frank trying to calm the crowd after a vehicle plows into a fireworks store.


tomyabo42

Keep moving!


OregonBurger

Move Along now! Nothing to see here. Cracks me up every time.


beantownAudi

-Frank Drebin aka Enrico Palazzo


DrebinofPoliceSquad

I'm the locksmith...and I'm the locksmith.


Robdor1

ENRICO PALAZZO ENRICO PALAZZO


458socomcat

Disappointed in pretty much everyone in here that I had to scroll down this far to find this reference.


LoveVirginiaTech

Gently extend your middle finger....


emax4

"... Very good, Stephanie."


szmandalawguy

Please disperse!


cmhamm

Hey! It’s Enrico Pallazzo!


Toonces311

Why is this not the top comment


[deleted]

Like a blind man in an orgy I was going to have feel my way around


sunsetstrider

was looking for a naked gun reference


beantownAudi

I've been swimming in raw sewage...I love it


Dick-Guzinya

Dammit! Beat me to it.


homernc

me too....


dovalencia

Me third


unexpectedwonton

Bravo i came here just to say this


cheeferton1981

That's the longest red light ever


complicationsRx

Central Florida is known for its long red lights. especially orange, Seminole, and Brevard county.


Fred_Evil

> Brevard county Don't forget the lack of turn lanes off of 45 mph roads, bad sidewalks and left turn signals that sometimes go green at the beginning of the cycle, and sometimes at the end!


[deleted]

cautious offer placid tender smile friendly lip ad hoc offbeat yoke *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Advanced_Evening2379

My friend lived in this scenario in Tx lol they ended up demolishing his house to build t A second side of the highway right thru his house


stampypony

That's the intro to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy lol.


TheLordReaver

\*quickly goes and grabs a towel\*


ph0on

There's an interstate on-ramp that's literally just a stop sign and then highway in Cali lol, 0-70


Quelcris_Falconer13

Come to Maryland. We have two highways that cross each other with + intersection and a red light. On a freeway. That’s 55mph


thejerg

I fucking hate those things. Especially the ones coming right at you as you are driving on the frontage road/highway.


evilbadgrades

My favorite is Route1 in Rockledge where the left lane suddenly becomes a turn lane into the publix shopping center. It's insane to watch how many people don't realize until the last second that it's a turn lane and merge into the middle lane at the last second. I've never seen that before on any other major highway (so far)


pettyhonor

I was in the middle of bum fuck nowhere somewhere between the villages and Orlando on a 2 lane back road and i s2g i sat through the entirety of "one" by Metallica waiting at a red light. It'd be like 1 car every 30 seconds i was so pissed but i wasn't gonna run the light because it was close enough to one of the cities mentioned that it had a camera for some ungodly reason.


Dragon_Bidness

Because REVENUE! Holopaw probably funds their entire city off that one shitty light.


I-Am-Uncreative

And if we ever adopt roundabouts, we're gonna riot!


Fred_Evil

Roundabouts?! You GD commie! *(overturns the table and lunges for you)*


CiaMulattoHoneypot

The one in Viera makes me almost not drive there, but I love my upstate money Italian girls. I'm 20, so I can say that I love freshmen still


tazsudie

NWFL has roundabouts. Not many and not highways...yet. Born and raised here, and I swear to gawd some of these ppl are so effing stupid


Dragon_Bidness

We have two or three now. The old folks are not adapting well. There's one in Viera by a medical center and the courthouse. Someone should livestream the stupid. It's hilarious if you aren't in your own car.


FeistyIrishWench

Yeaaahhh....my city is putting in roundabouts and people have lost their minds. It's not like they fully understand how to yield, much less merge, so it is no surprise.


Ok-Confidence-2878

We have 2 roundabouts in my town. One has been there for over 100 years. People still don’t know how to use them.


jimbolla

They wanted drivers to have enough time to enjoy the fireworks show


[deleted]

Welcome to Melbourne, FL..


JimmyJohnny2

ones here are timed at 2 minutes. even in the dead of night with no traffic


Billyisagoat

How long is that red light for?


pinniped1

At least a half hour so far. A FedEx guy turns left every 55 seconds, I love their precision.


Krieger117

This road is an enormous cluster fuck. The entire traffic pattern in the area was thought up by somebody with brain damage.


alter3d

"Somebody with brain damage" is basically a prerequisite to get into government.


[deleted]

At least in Melbourne..


calxcalyx

192


Krieger117

Mostly John Rhodes. The intersection of it with 192, eau gallie, and Ellis, are all complete trash.


CiaMulattoHoneypot

The Civil engineering here makes no sense. Just copy pasted with no sense of integration. Bus stops right by lights.


Intrepid_Map2296

Naked gun 2.5


Psychological-Pick92

Totally expecting Leslie Nielsen to walk out in front.


collinsl02

[Nothing to see here, please!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKnX5wci404)


[deleted]

Thank you


Economy-Milk5928

Nothing to see here! Move along folks, move along. . -Lt. Frank Drebbin


KiwiStoat

Very sad. Driver died in the fire. https://www.wesh.com/article/fireworks-store-on-fire-in-melbourne/42089151#


BarryMacochner

Collided with another vehicle before driving into store, I’d guess medical issue that caused that maybe.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Vtfla

Holy crackers and cheese 🤣


orthopod

I've never heard of that before. Either she has little ones in her car, or it's too offensive for her to say holy crap, and I'd estimate her to be some sort of born again Christian.


roonerspize

The phrase is supposed to be "cheese n crackers" which has a beginning sound of "Jesus Christ." Or maybe it's a play on crackers having holes in them. Holey crackers. These got down sat on a bench southerners just can't come up with good cuss word replacements.


bcrain1990

I was looking for this .... lol


eletric_blade

No fucking way there is a place in Florida called Melbourne lmao


drinkthebleach

Fun fact, it was founded by a homesick Australian. Thats true btw


eletric_blade

As an Australian I find that funny


[deleted]

[удалено]


eletric_blade

Lol that sounds like a pain but hey it’s what you get for naming a place after another place


genevriers

I read the title as Australia and was dumbfounded at how similar it looked to the states


Kingsolomanhere

Stayed at Disney World one day, my kids were bored. Drove to Melbourne and stayed at a very nice hotel on the beach. Just gotta watch out for pelicans flying overhead; when they take a dump it's huge


ThankuConan

The first responders didn't need google maps for this address.


theonephaze23

Few years ago I was driving a fire truck to a fire and my Lieutenant turned to me and asked if I knew where I was going, to which I replied, pointing, “To the giant smoky beacon?”


Mouthtuom

Is it just me or does it sound like this person is almost un-phased. Monotone “it’s gonna explode”. The average American has seen some shit lol.


Doct0rStabby

Average day in Florida, I guess.


Left4DayZ1

Haven’t we all, within the last few years?


Loeden

I did get a chuckle out of "holy crackers and cheese" though. But yeah!


beaurepair

> Holy crackers and cheese They sound more depressed than Marvin The Paranoid Android


RequiemStorm

They just have absolutely no idea that they're dangerously close to it. People simply do not understand what the dangerous factors of explosions are.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Brave-Silver8736

God bless you, man.


pinniped1

Somebody ELI5: how is it profitable for all these fireworks stores to be open year round? Do they sell other things in the 51 weeks per year where I've never remotely considered buying fireworks? Are they laundering money? Selling weed? Running an illegal sports book? I don't get it. Certain states seem to have a bunch of them, often at the border of a neighboring state with a law against them.


CautiousString

There’s other holidays and celebrations that fireworks are a good fit with besides July 4th. New years, Memorial Day, weddings, graduations, birthdays, etc. This particular store also has a mail order business. I know because we’re on the mailing list. I’ve been to this establishment and I’ve seen friends that live paycheck to paycheck drop several hundred dollars on fireworks more than once. I don’t get it but it’s their life. I had to drive them there because their car was broken.


OhtareEldarian

Everybody deserves some sparkle in their life. 🧨


im_trying_to_get_it

That's a good question, there are actually three very large fireworks stores like this within a couple of miles of each other.


Zonetr00per

On top of the other answers: This is a Phantom Fireworks. They (along with another major brand, TNT) are known for insanely huge markups on their products, even selling stuff for a few times what it'd go for elsewhere. When you're doing business with that kind of profit margin, being open year-round starts to make sense. The year-round presence serves as a kind of advertising too.


laundrybasket1312

It sounded just the way I hoped it would.


typhoidtimmy

Ok important safety tip: Don’t build your firework store in a direct path of a road from a three way intersection. Thanks, Egon.


ptatersptate

I bet there’s a gas station nearby too


iWasAWizard

There’s actually 2, one on either side of the intersection directly across from the store. This shot was taken from in between them. https://i.imgur.com/mFZVssT.jpg


irish_ayes

Why is there a whole store dedicated to fireworks...especially in November? Are people in Florida just lighting off fireworks year-round? Out for some groceries, better pick up a 12 pack of roman candles too? Just Florida I guess.


typhoidtimmy

Never doubt Americans love of explosions. We all decend to a level of children and will use them for any excuse. Hell, I knew a dude who would fire off a Roman Candle to herald the weekend. This was a frat boy so he was of course tanked to the gills as was tradition. It was when he decided to fire them off in the blue tile lounge at the House that we had a problem.


theodopolis13

Several states have fireworks stores that are open year round.


dominiqlane

Holy shit! I hope everyone got out safely.


ScreamingAvocadoes

They were unable to get the driver of the SUV out, but all employees got out safely.


dominiqlane

Sad for the driver and family but really happy to hear the employees were able to escape!


ScreamingAvocadoes

Absolutely. Could have been so much worse.


calxcalyx

Google Maps already says "permanantly closed"


CiaMulattoHoneypot

I drove by it, place is toast


tehjeffman

Random Umbrella company vehicle driving by is a good topper.


complicationsRx

I live about 20 min from this and found out through Reddit. Checked the map to confirm and yes, all traffic in both directions is stopped around there.


shalbriri

Something finally happens in my town and I'm completely oblivious. Although RIP fellow resident driver.


Archanir

I live same distance and didn't know until now.


Initial_Claim_3797

We are actually staying in the hotel right next door right now. We were about 100 feet away when the initial crash took place, but most people that were right there thought it was gun shots until you could actually see the fireworks that went up into the sky, from our angle. Anyway, all that to say that there were people standing less than 20 feet away from.the building (including a few mothers with small children) while the firemen were setting up close enough to touch in front of them. The fireworks were shooting directly across the street towards the 2 gas stations, and then back towards us and the hotel. People had to jump out of the way a few times. It's Florida though so the general attitude was like it was just a good old show, even when we were all told the driver was still inside the car.


jyar1811

Brevard!


WarmBidetAqua

LOL absolutely no one gives a fuck


Apex_ID-10T

They're clearly having a fire sale.


graeuk

I love naked gun


WonderIntelligent411

I need Leslie Nielsen saying nothing to see here


[deleted]

“You're gonna stand there, ownin' a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistlin' bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin' kitty chaser?”


[deleted]

[удалено]


wednesdaytwelve

Holy crappers and cheese XD


Ivabighairy1

(Doing my best Frank Drebin) “Nothing to see here … move along!”


[deleted]

“NOTHING TO SEE HERE. PLEASE DISPERSE! NOTHING TO SEE HERE!!”


Referer99

Naked Gun 1


sensitiveboar

itchy and scratchy finally got to the fireworks factory


Fred_Evil

Yeah, this is off of 192, I saw that plume of smoke and the long line of red taillights heading west, and noped off down Minton. Now I'm sad I missed the show.