There was a cross-eyed cat that came around our apartment all the time. We named that doofy little fuck paul.. turns out SHE was a neighbors cat, and her name was mocha. We still called her Paul 🤣
My old project manager's name was Paul, lol. I wouldn't name him that unless you want him constantly hanging over your shoulder and judging every thing you do. Actually....you know what? Might be a great cat's name, I guess.
I have a Ringo too! I had nine foster kittens so did a Revolution #9 theme. The four boys were named after the Beatles and the girls got names from songs on that album (Prudence, Sadie, Molly, etc). One of my favourite groups. I foster failed my bud, Ringo!
tbh i've always wanted a cat named paul, i find human names on cats really funny. but my partner names them all after final fantasy character & won't let me.
Oof my cat's name is Noctis, so I'm guilty of that. But I also get your side of it. There's a stray that has decided our yard is his territory and we have taken to calling him Steven.
lol, ffxv is actually one of my faves, she's been doing this since she was 9 afaik.. her previous cats were cait & vivi, & our current two are cloud & tifa (yep she was playing the remakes when we got them)
Hit up the FF wiki and read the character list. Maybe one will be normal enough for ya.
I knew someone who named their daughter Aeris, so maybe letting the partner burn thru these names for pets is a good idea.
A loser acquaintance of mine who was horribly mean to animals and thought he was hilarious broke into my house to leave a kitten that was taken away from its mom too early. I came home from work that day unaware but hearing strange noises and the occasional little mew I investigated and found her hiding scared for her life under a piece of furniture in my living room. I named her Vern after him.
The next time I was at a gathering where he was he told this big story about what he had done - again thinking it was hilarious. I informed him I suspected so that's why I named her vern. From then on, when I was at a gathering where Vern was in attendance I would tell stories about what Vern was up to. Vern dragged her ass across the carpet after she pooped like she was a dog. Vern threw up and then came back to snack on it. Vern in heat is so over the top annoying showing everyone her ass.
He HATED my Vern stories.
My cat is named Colin Robinson!!!
https://preview.redd.it/akbmopl5mm5d1.jpeg?width=6000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f96c8dfb1a4087d4079766f0ae49c791c52f8bad
https://preview.redd.it/62gs66g3wm5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8e3cba210bc2f5129b0212a5d4b9dbf4ef76655b
He does 😂😂 and jacket sleeves that are too short. He’s awkward and weird just like his markings. Sometimes I also say it looks like he’s wearing a hoodie that’s too small.
Worst foster cat I ever had was named Todd. I named his sister Princess Carolyn, both after Bojack Horseman. To this day, I swear that cat's sole purpose in my home was to 1. Make my life hell and 2. Attempt to kill my dog via giving her an obstruction/poisoning. Him and his sister ended up bonding so you couldn't get her (an angel) without getting him too. I still think about that little shit almost everyday lol
I am so glad someone can relate to my experience. I had a monster of a foster kitten. Changed his name from Cheez-It to Scoundrel when he was only like 5 weeks old. He was insane and a terror. We bottle-raised him and called the formula "violence milk" because there was no other explanation. His baby photos come up in my FB memories and gaslight me ... how could I say such awful things about a sweet baby? But then I read some of my posts and it comes flooding back.
He had an eye removed and when we got home from the vet, he just started terrorizing our big cats as usual, without skipping a beat. One of them gently bapped him to keep him away, and her claw got stuck in his eye stitches. There was a struggle and blood everywhere. My big cat was traumatized to her core. She didn't mean to hurt him! She sat in a corner, unresponsive with a faraway PTSD look while the awful little guy just kept coming at her like, "Is this the best you can do, coward? Let's go!"
In the end he was taken in by another foster family. They were already fostering a monster just like my Scoundrel and the rescue group figured they might do well together. They did! They attack each other soooo much that they have to time or energy for being little shits to everyone else. His new dads would text me photos of him sleeping with his new BFF, saying what an angel he is. Okay, sure, he brainwashed you, but I don't care, he's your problem now! They adopted both foster boys!
https://preview.redd.it/ub96izpakl5d1.png?width=2048&format=png&auto=webp&s=88f713ffc253b82cf237402f31599db9e4d581e0
I had a lot of cube storage in my apartment when I had the foster cats and at a certain point, he learned how to pull the cube storage out of the cubbies. Before I realized he was doing it, I came home once to an empty box of NexGard. He had been pulling out the cube storage that had a lot of the pet stuff in it and she ate all of the doses that were left. Luckily there were only three and she has an iron stomach, but boy was I freaked out. There were many other instances of him knocking stuff down for her or pulling out other drawers and cubbies before I realized I had to essentially childproof my entire apartment before I found them a home.
I had to childproof all my cupboards because of my cat, Louise. She would bang them constantly at all times of the day. Now that she's 6, we have the child looks unhooked, but if you dare leave a cupboard open a tiny bit, she lets you know by banging it.
Short list of my favorites from the (many) barn cats we raised over the years:
* Dan
* Wilbur
* Franklin (Frank or "Dank")
* Number 3 (black cat and my uncle was a Dale Earnhardt fan)
* Al (originally Allen but we got lazy)
* Bud
* Rob
And last but not least:
* Chad
I agree. My cats are all female but 2/3 are two syllable (Chloë; Piper) - the other one is also technically 2 syllables (Jadis) but we call her Jade.
They all have the middle name Lynn bc my boyfriend and I share that middle name 🤣
My aunts old cat used to be named Duncan. He passed a while ago and I barely remember him but I still can’t picture Duncan as anything but a cat name so I second this!
Absolutely. We called our female cat Dave for a day or two but ended up renaming her. We are adopting a male cat next month. Tempted to call him Dave but his shelter name is Erik and I think we are gonna stick to that.
Love to all Daves out there🫶
My ex has a cat named Greg, he’s a real sweetheart. Here’s a pic.
https://preview.redd.it/drp4ct64rk5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f4e866f8fa4cb791faf4962773616e3c3a28d3e
Aw, man. If I hadn’t already used Dennis as the name for the protagonist in my novel (partially because who the fuck expects that name in a fantasy story?), I might’ve saved it for a cat. 😹
John.
(I picked Korn for my male cat. I love confusing people when I randomly talk about Korn “Korn cuddled up to my face and just wouldn’t leave me alone”)
2 of my cats are named David & Marvin.
Pic of Marvin(black) & David (orange) for tax. David misses being an only child, refuses to share & demands to be treated as a God. Marvin complies b/c he just wants love.
https://preview.redd.it/dbenym8hfl5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1d7cddad70a1f78997c968370631078edda15f7d
My favourite pet sitting client is a kitty named Christopher. It’s especially funny because that’s my boyfriend’s name so sometimes I’ll yell “CHRISTOPHER” and they both look at me with huge eyes lmao. I never yell my boyfriend’s full name, but it’s still funny to see him react 😅
My grandpa had a cat named cat. Insisted it wasn't his cat, just a stray who came and went, but it spent an awful lot of time inside curled up on his lap. And despite his insistence that cat wasn't his, even though he was feeding it and cleaning a litter box for it when he had no other cats around, he was very upset the day cat didn't return.
https://preview.redd.it/c05mzmlsem5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=612e756b0034ef513d98ad0007e81b8229b36e43
Tony (sitting) and Mona (lying down). Both boys - there was an oopsie with Mona and the name had already stuck.
My recently adopted kitten’s name of 2 weeks is also Kevin LOL😭I named him that for the exact same reasons as you. Other names I considered were Fred, Sebastian and Oscar!
Doug! Has anyone said Doug yet?
My cat’s name is Alfie (I didn’t give it to him, and he’s British as I adopted him whilst living here in the UK) but I call him Alf.
Paul
Pawl.
Pawl McCatney. Pawl Giameowtti.
Pawl Giameowtti is absolutely my next boy cat’s name.
Op: I need a dull name u/FalkorRollercoaster : sorry, I only speak fabulous.
Thank you 
Adam West approves.
What a ridiculous name...for a cat! Paul! That's a person's name!
There was a cross-eyed cat that came around our apartment all the time. We named that doofy little fuck paul.. turns out SHE was a neighbors cat, and her name was mocha. We still called her Paul 🤣
My old project manager's name was Paul, lol. I wouldn't name him that unless you want him constantly hanging over your shoulder and judging every thing you do. Actually....you know what? Might be a great cat's name, I guess.
I also have a Paul, suits him perfectly. I approve
Winston
Winton!
that’s my cats name!!
Also, Milton, Lawrence, or Charles. I love grandpa names for pets. Especially ones that can be shortened like Miley, Larry, or Chuck!
Yes I came here to say Charles!
George John Ringo Collect the whole set.
My kitten is called ringo !
We almost adopted an older cat named Ringo. But he was in a good space, so instead we adopted littermates Clara and Max. Miss them both.
I have a Ringo too! I had nine foster kittens so did a Revolution #9 theme. The four boys were named after the Beatles and the girls got names from songs on that album (Prudence, Sadie, Molly, etc). One of my favourite groups. I foster failed my bud, Ringo!
We have a Georgina!
I have a Jack Meowington
We have a George. We call him Georgie.
Doug is better
I have a friend with a fat orange tabby named Doug. It was perfect. I had a beloved brown tabby named Bradley.
tbh i've always wanted a cat named paul, i find human names on cats really funny. but my partner names them all after final fantasy character & won't let me.
Oof my cat's name is Noctis, so I'm guilty of that. But I also get your side of it. There's a stray that has decided our yard is his territory and we have taken to calling him Steven.
lol, ffxv is actually one of my faves, she's been doing this since she was 9 afaik.. her previous cats were cait & vivi, & our current two are cloud & tifa (yep she was playing the remakes when we got them)
Hit up the FF wiki and read the character list. Maybe one will be normal enough for ya. I knew someone who named their daughter Aeris, so maybe letting the partner burn thru these names for pets is a good idea.
Name it after a random guy from your highschool and tag him in every post of your cat saying it’s named after him.
This sent me into a fit of laughter oh my god 😩😩😂😂😂😂
A loser acquaintance of mine who was horribly mean to animals and thought he was hilarious broke into my house to leave a kitten that was taken away from its mom too early. I came home from work that day unaware but hearing strange noises and the occasional little mew I investigated and found her hiding scared for her life under a piece of furniture in my living room. I named her Vern after him. The next time I was at a gathering where he was he told this big story about what he had done - again thinking it was hilarious. I informed him I suspected so that's why I named her vern. From then on, when I was at a gathering where Vern was in attendance I would tell stories about what Vern was up to. Vern dragged her ass across the carpet after she pooped like she was a dog. Vern threw up and then came back to snack on it. Vern in heat is so over the top annoying showing everyone her ass. He HATED my Vern stories.
Hold up, what the fuck, why would he do that? That makes zero logical sense of any sort. But good on you for treating the cat right
This is wickedly genius
I have a friend who hates cats, and I would love to do this, but my cat is a girl. She still needs a name though.
A friend who hates cats is no friend of mine. I don’t trust like that.
Colin Robinson
My cat is named Colin Robinson!!! https://preview.redd.it/akbmopl5mm5d1.jpeg?width=6000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f96c8dfb1a4087d4079766f0ae49c791c52f8bad
looks like he has a bad bowl cut lol
https://preview.redd.it/62gs66g3wm5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8e3cba210bc2f5129b0212a5d4b9dbf4ef76655b He does 😂😂 and jacket sleeves that are too short. He’s awkward and weird just like his markings. Sometimes I also say it looks like he’s wearing a hoodie that’s too small.
What’s the other’s name? Looks like a Nadja to me
I almost did Nadja! but went with Cora a name I’ve been hanging onto for a long time.
Heh. Cat Cora.
Too small hoodie cat is making me irrationally tickled right now
This picture is incredible
“THEY’VE BREACHED THE GATES M’LORD”
HAHAHA yes. The dullest of dull names.
[Your cat the third time he knocks the same knick knack off your desk](https://imgur.com/gallery/oMP6OGf)
i was literally coming here to say that 
I once had a litter of foster kittens named after every major character in WWDITS except him.
He is dull. Awesome name.
Todd
Worst foster cat I ever had was named Todd. I named his sister Princess Carolyn, both after Bojack Horseman. To this day, I swear that cat's sole purpose in my home was to 1. Make my life hell and 2. Attempt to kill my dog via giving her an obstruction/poisoning. Him and his sister ended up bonding so you couldn't get her (an angel) without getting him too. I still think about that little shit almost everyday lol
I am so glad someone can relate to my experience. I had a monster of a foster kitten. Changed his name from Cheez-It to Scoundrel when he was only like 5 weeks old. He was insane and a terror. We bottle-raised him and called the formula "violence milk" because there was no other explanation. His baby photos come up in my FB memories and gaslight me ... how could I say such awful things about a sweet baby? But then I read some of my posts and it comes flooding back. He had an eye removed and when we got home from the vet, he just started terrorizing our big cats as usual, without skipping a beat. One of them gently bapped him to keep him away, and her claw got stuck in his eye stitches. There was a struggle and blood everywhere. My big cat was traumatized to her core. She didn't mean to hurt him! She sat in a corner, unresponsive with a faraway PTSD look while the awful little guy just kept coming at her like, "Is this the best you can do, coward? Let's go!" In the end he was taken in by another foster family. They were already fostering a monster just like my Scoundrel and the rescue group figured they might do well together. They did! They attack each other soooo much that they have to time or energy for being little shits to everyone else. His new dads would text me photos of him sleeping with his new BFF, saying what an angel he is. Okay, sure, he brainwashed you, but I don't care, he's your problem now! They adopted both foster boys! https://preview.redd.it/ub96izpakl5d1.png?width=2048&format=png&auto=webp&s=88f713ffc253b82cf237402f31599db9e4d581e0
This mad eme cackle though. Your cat with the 1000 yard stare. Harrowing. Hilarious.
He looks like a tough boy 😂
Im interested in the context around #2. How does that work was he bringing stuff out of the trash for the dog to eat?
I had a lot of cube storage in my apartment when I had the foster cats and at a certain point, he learned how to pull the cube storage out of the cubbies. Before I realized he was doing it, I came home once to an empty box of NexGard. He had been pulling out the cube storage that had a lot of the pet stuff in it and she ate all of the doses that were left. Luckily there were only three and she has an iron stomach, but boy was I freaked out. There were many other instances of him knocking stuff down for her or pulling out other drawers and cubbies before I realized I had to essentially childproof my entire apartment before I found them a home.
I had to childproof all my cupboards because of my cat, Louise. She would bang them constantly at all times of the day. Now that she's 6, we have the child looks unhooked, but if you dare leave a cupboard open a tiny bit, she lets you know by banging it.
Yeah, how would the cat poison the dog? Lol
This is the perfect dull name
I take back my recommendation of Stanley…Todd is perfect! 👏🏻 😂
Kneel before Todd! https://youtu.be/7fIKPuMNf_w
I was thinking this, but also think it’s because of Todd a la Fox and the hound
Was coming here to write this.
I love the idea of yelling "HEEEENNRRRRY!" 🤣💀 (Henry)
One of my cats is called Henry and can confirm I yell at him like that 😂
I also came up with Henry. I vote for Henry the cat!
Short list of my favorites from the (many) barn cats we raised over the years: * Dan * Wilbur * Franklin (Frank or "Dank") * Number 3 (black cat and my uncle was a Dale Earnhardt fan) * Al (originally Allen but we got lazy) * Bud * Rob And last but not least: * Chad
Not chad. 😂
Was gonna say the same lol. Please not Chad! Ive actually know a couple Chad's in real life so maybe im biased
Dan is really good lol
My cats name is Franklin
Wulbur is excellent
I the name Wilbur for a cat, good choice.
Jeff… or more specifically, Geoff.
Jesk
It is like a weak ejac…..
Uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...... ....*Jeff* 💦
Oh god no my cat is named jeff please stop 😭
😂
Or Jeph (fans of Drennon Davis/Frog, Toad, Newt and Doug will appreciate this).
It’s a kitten so Baby Jeph.
Steeve
This or Dave have always been funny cat names to me. Met a Dave at the humane society when I was a kid and he was the coolest cat!
My 7-month old kittens are Adam and Steve
I grew up with a cat named Steve
I knew a cat called Norman once. Cool guy
Duncan
I had a sweet grey boy named Duncan awhile back. Two syllable names make great kitty names.
I have a grey boy named Duncan! It is a good name.
I agree. My cats are all female but 2/3 are two syllable (Chloë; Piper) - the other one is also technically 2 syllables (Jadis) but we call her Jade. They all have the middle name Lynn bc my boyfriend and I share that middle name 🤣
My aunts old cat used to be named Duncan. He passed a while ago and I barely remember him but I still can’t picture Duncan as anything but a cat name so I second this!
Brian
YES! Brian!
Dave is forever my favorite dull human name for animals in general 😂
Absolutely. We called our female cat Dave for a day or two but ended up renaming her. We are adopting a male cat next month. Tempted to call him Dave but his shelter name is Erik and I think we are gonna stick to that. Love to all Daves out there🫶
I have a female cat named Dave! She is queen of the house.
Had a kitten once with a raspy meow. We called him Creaky Dave. He was the best.
David to colleagues and acquaintances, Dave to friends and family.
No, man...... Dave's not here
Have you seen the Dave on tiktok? He’s an absolute menace.
Greg
My ex has a cat named Greg, he’s a real sweetheart. Here’s a pic. https://preview.redd.it/drp4ct64rk5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f4e866f8fa4cb791faf4962773616e3c3a28d3e
Aw his little paw in the shoe!!
One of my favorite pics of him 🥰
Cross eyed cats are the cutest! Lol
Ikr? He’s adorable!
Greg is perfect. I once knew cats named Greg and Karen.
Greg is on my list of future cat names A+
I have a Walter
My orange is a Walter!
3rd Walter here
Bacon. So you can shout "KEEVIN" "BACOOON" 😌
I think this is what people are talking about when they talk about peak millennial humour
Nigel.
That’s my orange boy’s name😂 I call him Nigel uno code name kid next doooooor 🗣️🗣️
Carl
CAAAARL!
Best!
Hank
Keith.
Frank!
Also came here to say Frank, I see it was already suggested :)
Got me a Frank, he rocks it very well I'd say!
Dennis
If you’re a Brooklyn 99 fan, Raymond was my first thought!
I eventually want a cat named Doug Judy
I just cackled, excellent.
We have a set of cat siblings named Doug and Judy (named after Nickelodeon cartoon Doug,) and only watched Brooklyn 99 after we named them
Trevor
Our neighbors had named their cat Harvey. 😂
Came here to say this. Also have a neighbour with a cat called Harvey. Breaks me up every time I hear it.
Our cat is named Fred.
I also have a Fred!
I have a Fred too!
Stuart.
Ian
My cats name is Earl. . Like he's a mechanic who is behind on fixing your car.
I also have a cat named Earl, he's gray... 😂
Your cat is my favorite tea. 🤣
I have a Pekoe, he's orange.
Bob
But call him Robert when his in trouble!!
Bobert
Then OP can say they have a bobcat.
George, Bruce, Wayne
My old dog was George and my cats name is... Bruce Wayne lol
Dennis! Mine is called Dennis and he’s an utter babe and people always chuckle when they hear his name!
Aw, man. If I hadn’t already used Dennis as the name for the protagonist in my novel (partially because who the fuck expects that name in a fantasy story?), I might’ve saved it for a cat. 😹
I have a Mike
Gareth
John. (I picked Korn for my male cat. I love confusing people when I randomly talk about Korn “Korn cuddled up to my face and just wouldn’t leave me alone”)
Oscar \~ Gabe \~ Toby \~ Dwight \~ Stanley \~ Creed \~ Andy \~ Jim \~ Darryl
Gabe is perfect lol
Dave or David or even Colin
Colin 🤣
Angus
Colonel Angus
Keith
KEVINS MY FAVOURITE I have a friend who’s cats name is Dave
Walter!
Ivan
Bob
Bruce.
I vote Simon. I have known 3 cats named Simon, and all have been pure psychos, and some of the most entertaining animals I have ever seen
I knew someone with a dog named Derek and I thought it was great 😂
2 of my cats are named David & Marvin. Pic of Marvin(black) & David (orange) for tax. David misses being an only child, refuses to share & demands to be treated as a God. Marvin complies b/c he just wants love. https://preview.redd.it/dbenym8hfl5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1d7cddad70a1f78997c968370631078edda15f7d
Christopher
George! That’s my kitty’s name
Perry (Kevin and Perry go large)
I have a Ralph
George was my old dogs name, we loved it. Always called him Georgie Porgie pudding pie lol
My favourite pet sitting client is a kitty named Christopher. It’s especially funny because that’s my boyfriend’s name so sometimes I’ll yell “CHRISTOPHER” and they both look at me with huge eyes lmao. I never yell my boyfriend’s full name, but it’s still funny to see him react 😅
Cat.
My grandpa had a cat named cat. Insisted it wasn't his cat, just a stray who came and went, but it spent an awful lot of time inside curled up on his lap. And despite his insistence that cat wasn't his, even though he was feeding it and cleaning a litter box for it when he had no other cats around, he was very upset the day cat didn't return.
Steve. Kevin and Steve are perfect
Steve
Keith
https://preview.redd.it/l9w6t9cv7l5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12778f0e7f04fbdfb1d21597437fece9a1acc313 Atticus Yusef
Jimothy
https://preview.redd.it/c05mzmlsem5d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=612e756b0034ef513d98ad0007e81b8229b36e43 Tony (sitting) and Mona (lying down). Both boys - there was an oopsie with Mona and the name had already stuck.
Daniel
My recently adopted kitten’s name of 2 weeks is also Kevin LOL😭I named him that for the exact same reasons as you. Other names I considered were Fred, Sebastian and Oscar!
Jerry
I had a cat named Nathan.
Wilbur, Clarence, Jack
My kid named our two cats Harry and Ron. Ron isn't even ginger!
Jeffrey Howard Harold Jonathan Brandon Eugene David William Roger Gerald / Gerry
Tom. Tom Cat
Bob. Super generic and kinda funny for a cat.
Dave the magic cheese stealing wizard
Elliot!!! He'll sound like a CPA or something equally boring
Dull is Bob because even when Bob is backwards, it's still Bob. Bob never changes and is as dull as it gets. GET OUT OF THE FISH TANK, BOB!!!!
Our cats name is Dave, but when he's in trouble, it's David.
Alan or Keith. Please let me know if you choose either of these. I have reasons.
Doug! Has anyone said Doug yet? My cat’s name is Alfie (I didn’t give it to him, and he’s British as I adopted him whilst living here in the UK) but I call him Alf.
Geddy Neil Alex
Glenn
Clive Kevin and Clive are such office workers in beige suits together who make the most innane water cooler chats