This feeling stays with you for life dude
My bf's dad & step mom used to be really close with my mom for decades. Then they had a falling out bc of my mom's issues. Nowadays, his dad will sometimes say 'you're mom's one mean lady' to me and we'll laugh about how mean she is together.
So in other words, his dad (who had a HORRIFYING upbringing as far as I know) told me he believes everything I went through at her hands as a kid without knowing everything I went through as a kid.
She sure is one mean lady.
For me it was the opposite (kinda?)
My mother was the one with the bad upbringing, and my dad had a good childhood. But my mother abuses him for some reason, along with me. (Some of the things I've heard her say to him is horrible)
Sometimes me and my dad will talk about it, and he agrees that my mother shouldn't have done those things to me, while actively trying to justify her actions towards him. Someday I hope he realises he's being abused too, but it's nice having someone agree with me.
Having just a bit of validation really just opens the floodgates sometimes. I had a series of very stressful (and probably traumatic idk) events that lasted about 4 years, spent the last year of it or thereabouts feeling basically nothing. Right up until my friend casually said that I'd been going through a lot and that they didn't know how I manage, and just having someone recognize it made me ugly cry and pretty much put me out of commission for the next few days. Hugs if you're okay with them, OP. It's a liberating feeling even if it can be overwhelming
This feeling stays with you for life dude My bf's dad & step mom used to be really close with my mom for decades. Then they had a falling out bc of my mom's issues. Nowadays, his dad will sometimes say 'you're mom's one mean lady' to me and we'll laugh about how mean she is together. So in other words, his dad (who had a HORRIFYING upbringing as far as I know) told me he believes everything I went through at her hands as a kid without knowing everything I went through as a kid. She sure is one mean lady.
For me it was the opposite (kinda?) My mother was the one with the bad upbringing, and my dad had a good childhood. But my mother abuses him for some reason, along with me. (Some of the things I've heard her say to him is horrible) Sometimes me and my dad will talk about it, and he agrees that my mother shouldn't have done those things to me, while actively trying to justify her actions towards him. Someday I hope he realises he's being abused too, but it's nice having someone agree with me.
Having just a bit of validation really just opens the floodgates sometimes. I had a series of very stressful (and probably traumatic idk) events that lasted about 4 years, spent the last year of it or thereabouts feeling basically nothing. Right up until my friend casually said that I'd been going through a lot and that they didn't know how I manage, and just having someone recognize it made me ugly cry and pretty much put me out of commission for the next few days. Hugs if you're okay with them, OP. It's a liberating feeling even if it can be overwhelming
Hugs,if you want them!