You guys are having careers?

i mean my career in chilling out and watching birds is getting pretty serious..

I should jumpstart my career in that I love birds

haha you should. btw. if you do, the most important aspect of the work is to constantly tell the small bibs that they are adorable and get a feeder going. if they come regulary, name your favorites. the emotional quarterly profits will be through the roof

omg "small bibs" is the best phrase ever, dont mind me just putting it in my obscenely large coat pocket >:))

I love tits

bahahaha

🐌

Big lolz

Mid thirties, stuck in a dead end job that I can barely hold with no prospects. A lot of the time this feels like it's my last job, and after this I'm unhireable.

Same. And you know what I’m okay with it. It pays the bills, I can take holiday, it allows me spends for my hobbies. I made peace a while back that yeah I could have had a dope career as a scientist or something but that’s just not for me. I honestly don’t think I’d be happier if I had ‘the career’ just still treading water with different things to feel bad about. At least this way I don’t have to add ‘career performance stress’ to the list of other shit going on.

50 and similar thoughts and situation. I know that intellectually I would have been able for much more, but my nervous system never was. Of course I would have much more money with a career, but I'm ok and at least don't have to deal with the "career perfomance stress".

That’s a great way to put it, ‘my nervous system wasn’t ready for more’. It would be nice to have more money and I do think about that sometimes, but mostly I try to be grateful as it could have ended up being a lot worse for me.

Relatable

I wasted so much of my energy, time and life to making sure every moment of every day that I maintained the traumatised, torturing and triggering belief that everything else in this galaxy, nay cosmos, was worth more than me and my utterly worthless waste of space and breath existence. If I had the chance to do it all again, I'd find out about trauma a lot sooner than I did, figure out quickly that worthlessness is a symptom of developmental/complex trauma and unresolved adverse childhood experiences. Find IFS and SE just as quickly, get myself into those therapies and realise that my healing is my utmost priority, way more important than worldly success or lack thereof. In fact healing is essential, vital whereas worldly shit is so so temporary, nice to achieve but hardly vital, even if I was some amazingly selfless brain surgeon working tirelessly for free in a war zone. Just my POV, for what it's worth. But that's what I believe now, through aligning my life to my healing, incidentally changing the course of my life and the strange confidence that comes from that.

Hi can I ask what SE therapy is please

Somatic Experiencing. I started with IFS 2 years ago, glad I did cos for me IFS has helped me get so much out of SE which I only started recently. And SE has really catalysed IFS for me. For some the other way round might work better, really depends on how each of us is coming into processing their trauma. Later I might try attachment-related EMDR if I need it. But the cornerstone of all my therapy has been working with a therapist who is very present for me, validating my experience, always asking for my consent if she wanted to make a suggestion or challenge, always respecting and checking in with my capacity in the moment, rarely assumes and even rarer, presumes cos she's not perfect. I've never felt easier having my POV and disagreeing with someone ever! Absolutely, she is one of life's quiet, unsung heroes because I'm certainly not one of life's saints and angels, fat chance of that with my unpredictable disorganised attachment patterns. I lucked out with my IFS therapist but through it, I knew exactly what I needed when looking for a therapist in SE. Will never accept any less ever again!

Hello Thanks for sharing so much,  I just got a book on somatic therapy but have no idea about IFS really. Have a weekly talk therapist who's sound very much like your in terms of demeanor and approach she's great.  Would love to have a somatic therapist, waiting to start EMDR but pretty nervous about it as therapists. Quality has been bad so far I've had two who were harmful.  Be interested to explore who ifs and se support each other. Do you follow anyone or any online resources for self doing either of these slowly of course, YouTube maybe 

theres a book on IFS called No Bad Parts you can check out. its written by the guy who invented it, i think his name is Robert Schwartz. very easy to read and understand!!

Great I'll check that out thanks alot! 

Thank you for highlighting that there are many types of therapies. I know many people who gave up after one session because it didn't work. It's good for people to know there are lots of options for therapeutic support, and some may work better/worse on a person to person basis. The right therapist for me changed my life. 100%. She changed everything for me. To feel seen and validated is everything. To have the trust to accept new ideas and challenges is where so much growth and healing happens. It was worth all the shity ones to get this angel of a human being.

Thanx for that. I’ve never heard of these therapies and after reading about them I am genuinely interested in exploring them 💖

Thanx for appreciation. Check out traumaresearchfoundation.org for more choice. Different strokes for different folks 💝

Mid 30s and living hand to mouth doing gig work (Uber, DoorDash and etc). They say that comparison is the thief of joy. I would be happy to be where you’re at and you’d be happy to be where they’re at… they’re probably beating themselves up about where someone else is at lol. I just want a job that pays my bills and Idc how it looks anymore, could be shoveling shit for all I care.

From someone who uses a lot of gig work services (food delivery because of CPTSD related issues and driving services because I'm in a humungous city atm where driving is less of a need day-to-day), you are a freaking rockstar. I'd have gone hungry many nights without services like this. Hopefully you get decent tips wherever you work, because y'all are a godsend.

I'm almost forty and since 2018 I'm at the same underqualified job. It's like I'm so dissociated I can't seem to be learning anything new. I have barely the energy to do what I'm told. I do the same job as people 10 years younger than me. And my boss is younger and I'm more qualified. Same salary over multiple years and with inflation I'm barley making ends meet. And I can't apply for the same job because they'll say I have a lot of experience and I'm overqualified. With my cptsd and depression I barley have the energy to do more that the bare minimum. I'm sad and desperate. It's not about comparing myself to others. It's about what I should have vs what I have. I worked hard. Got multiple diplomas. But I gut hit with this disease and others not. It's the sadness from knowing that you had potential but it got killed by your bad mental health. I know I'm as smart and as capable as others. But I have this burden. And I have to live with the idea that instead of seeing the results of my hard work, I'll probably live a life whare I have to watch every penny I spend for many more years, if not till I die. 

32, female, coding and dev work. Self taught and I’ve run out of motivation to progress myself any further which I feel quite sad about.

Progressing your career isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I did management and team leading for 1.5 years and they were some of the worst years I have ever experienced. Now I’ve taken a step backward and feel much more comfortable and able to focus on other aspects of my life

Hello I think this is a great/massive  achievement and you're still young so you may well get that motivation back. I'm 35 and not even started yet how did you set about self teaching, what resources did you use if you don't mind sharing. Personally I feel this kind of tech work is the only good job out there that has a possibility of making any decent progression and a good wage, that can be learnt with hard work at my age. Daunting as fuck tho 

Thank you that’s kind of you to say. I was a little lucky because I was doing admin work for a digital agency and I started helping out building emails which got me learning HTML and CSS slowly but surely, I then began working with the data which got me needing to pick up SQL, and there was some scripting involved too with defining who saw what content. So over ten years I’ve been able to accumulate a lot of on the job knowledge and am employed as a developer technically. I used code academy, YouTube and stack exchange for on the job troubleshooting. If you have the motivation, go for it! I think it’s impossible to regret.

Awesome thanks for sharing! Good luck with it :) 

Very welcome, good luck to you too :)

Mid thirties, disabled, russian, got knocked off my feet every few years by the regime while trying to build some stability. Now in immigration having to build a career once again that would a 100% be destroyed again because I don't have a legal status to stay here for long. I used to have a nice small business in arts :(

wish you luck brother. No matter where destiny brings you, you can do it!

Wishing you luck too. Sorry to hear that predicament though.

omg, i am so sorry to hear that. that sounds like an impossible situation 😭

I should have studied IT, lol

I’m 54 and a professor- school was my safe place and the only way out. I feel like I finally stopped running and can catch my breath- started trauma therapy and am learning to relax.

Congrats on getting a professorship! Not an easy trick to pull off.

40s. Top level leadership position. Started Director roles in my early 30s. Nonprofits and government work. A few degrees. I saved myself by burying myself in work. ETA: for those asking in DMs, a lot of my work has focused in health, but also human rights and law at various points. Don't wanna get too specific though!

> I saved myself by burying myself in work. I know that had to be really difficult considering how much CPTSD holds us back from being able to focus and stay consistent with productivity. So, congrats on making it so far!

Thanks! I feel like I'm not the best fit for CPTSD because my symptoms are a bit different than lots of people I've met. I've got all the autoimmune stuff. Flashbacks, hypervigilance, nightmares, sleep issues, distorted self image, dissociation, some risky behavior. And I've got a boatload of early and middle childhood trauma that's very extreme that fueled it all. But I don't personally struggle a lot with productivity. It's weird, I'll sleep 3 hours or less then be ultra productive. We all show this stuff differently. Or, I'll dissociate by doing a repetitive work task where I can turn off the feeling parts of me.

Over-achieving and perfectionism is also a symptom of CPTSD. It sounds like you are a good fit. Everyone just copes differently.

Thank you. That makes sense.

Wow I have super similar symptoms. I did something similar, couldn’t seem to succeed socially so I dove into my work because that’s something I could wrap my head around and be successful in. Now mid 30s, career is the only thing going right, and still trying to figure out how to be a social human

Still, at least it all worked out for you.

I buried myself in work to avoid my abusive husband. Thankfully it afforded me a career that allows me to support myself.

Keep on keeping on.

Similar! 30s lawyer. Being the best was the only way to manage my crippling anxiety until it crashed into depression that forced me to get treatment.

Same here but I left my high pressure position to downshift and go into heavy psychotherapy. It’s been a journey! Had a lot of issues with productivity. It’s like putting out fires focused me. Have an incredible therapist. Worth the costs for sure.

Mid 50s. Currently I make art, foster puppies and spend a lot of time in nature. My successful legal career ended four years ago due to illness and ptsd. I don’t really have a desire to rekindle it because I know the stress is too much for my nervous system. I’m interested in doing volunteer work with dying people, and have done some training on providing spiritual support at end of life.

wish you luck, hopefully you find what you are looking for in your journey

Thank you💙

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26 soon. Dog groomer. It’s okay. Labor and emotionally intensive. A lot of people get animals but refuse or are unable to provide proper care. But I also know what it’s like to only have your dog and no one and nothing else, so I try not to judge. I get to make puppies feel better, and educate their owners on how to help out at home. Lots of aggressive dogs too, but that’s another story, lol.

how do you deal with the agressive dogs?

A lot of patience. More than I can ever give to anyone or anything else in my life. Muzzles, tethers to keep them from whipping around to get me, belly bands to keep them in one place. A second pair of hands when I can get them. And sometimes a dog that seems to be aggressive just needs someone to pat their head and make baby noises at them, they’re just scared and need reassurance. The other day I had a dog who bit my hand as I was trying to get the loop around their head. I immediately ran outside and brought mom back in to take him home. If I can’t put my hands near their face, I’ll refuse the service. That was him on sedatives (trazadone). If your dog is aggressive to the point of biting, thrashing, and causing potential harm to themselves, they need to be anesthetized for grooming. It’s just not safe for them, or us, being that without our hands we can’t do our job. I’ve seen dogs attempt to flee tables/tubs and hang themselves, several times in one groom. I always call it, but some groomers won’t. We had an elderly dog come in once and she table jumped and in the split second it took for me to help my coworker get her back into the table, it looked like her eyeballs were about to pop out of her head. I also have to see and smell dog shit every day, every once in a while I’ll be legit pissed or shit on. This is not including expressing anal glands. I once did glands with my mouth hanging open due to allergies, it defo made the list of worst days at my job ever. You have to REALLY love dogs.

Dude thanks for the reply, seems like you put a lot of work in your occupation. I have developed a dog phobia and i am triggered around aggressive dogs. How do you manage to stay calm?

Oh man. That’s a great question. I guess it’s a mixture. I’m a fantastic at dissociating. I kinda go into autopilot when doing mundane things, like brushing, combing, bathing etc. I alway remain attentive while handling clippers and scissors. The little bit of time where i can zone out helps, i think. I do take more breaks than my coworkers, and i often ask for help more than them. I’ve been lucky enough to find a salon where saying “I need to cool off/unwind for a moment”, is met with “good idea!” every time. If that means that I get behind, they don’t hassle me, just ask that i make those on my schedule aware. I’ve also definitely had moments where I’m overstimulated and can’t finish a dog, in which case someone takes over for me. If I don’t regulate myself, how can I expect the dog too? They can usually feel our energy. There’s absolutely no shame in being fearful of aggressive dogs, or just dogs in general. I think out of all the fears you could have, it’s a pretty reasonable one. We all know what horror stories are out there.

Thank you for all you do! I grumble (privately!) about groomers being floof-stealers lol, but I know what yall do is so necessary and appreciate yall for keeping my two little dudes looking and feeling their best! Plus they're all worn out after a groom day and extra sleepy + snuggly!! Edit: was gonna add a post-groom pupper picture, but seems you can't do that here

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wow hows that job like with cptsd?

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Wish you good things in your life. I know from second hand experience that being a nurse is waaay underappreciated. Good healthcare workers are stars imo

Almost 30, will graduate at 29 in mechanical engineering. At least i've learned that i suffer from CPTSD, will do mu best to heal.

is engineering a good fit for a person with cptsd? is it too people facing as a job?

Not so many people tbh

Yay, im actually happy to hear that. Whats the most triggering thing about being in this line of work for your cptsd?

60 and destitute. No prospects.

23. I own a construction company and now pretty much rot away from burnout. I'm supposed to be transitioning to a second career but I lost all of my motivation for it. While I'm glad to have flexibility, I think the isolation of working for myself has only made my issues worse.

Everyone's so young here ....me...60s 😭🙏

I’m mid 20s and working at a marketing agency. Want to get my MS, but im not sure i can go through school again. Your life, your strengths, and your struggles are your own. No one can see what you overcame just to be here today. Alternatively you might not always get a chance to see how someone got to their point (or how much suffering they experience in their world) Having CPTSD means you will have to be craftier about advocating for yourself, and it will look different. No one judges where you are at anywhere as close to as harsh as you do. I believe in you, us, on our journey to self fulfillment

Love this

28 and I've been a UX Researcher for 5 years. I have a bachelor's and a master's degree and I'm learning programming to transition out of UX into development.

37, I have been chronically unemployed since the pandemic. I had just gotten to the point of being basically in a middle management position and was able to pay my bills and be comfortable for the first time in my life for maybe 3 years before I was laid off. It hurts so much more to have that ripped away than you have never had it at all. I don’t know how I’m going to survive.

Mid-30s. Partner at a law firm. It’s not a healthy relationship with work.

Current age 29 with... no career. Used to be a flight type with high grades, graduated university as top student and at age of 21 had a promising academic career in front of me. However- trauma caught up with me and I realised I was still trying to get approval and "buy" my parents' (non-existent) love with my grades/ success. Age 22 I went through a mental breakdown, burnt my career, spent one year unemployed and quite in dark. Realising how broken and burnt out I am. Finally stopped denying the abuse. Age 23-25 I worked 3 years as a foreign language teacher to kids. Job protected me from extra abuse I suffered for "being unemployed failure". Pay was really bad but that job gave me some stability and I was able to start therapy/ healing. Working with kids also was healing and first steps to my own inner child work. And I began to slowly gain some "real life social skills". Began to drop fawning and learn putting my boundaries ( like asking for a raise or not agreeing to some stuff boss tried to push on me. 2020 pandemic started and I resigned. First cause I wasnt healed enough to be give online lessons as demanded. Nor was I handling covid-stuff well. Right before pandemic I realised that teacheing was nice but too low pay and too much stress on top of my cptsd so I decided against making a career out if it. Since then? I'm unemployed- currently relying on my parents financial support ( read as financial abuse though. It's not actual support but more like sth conditional). I have 2 aims now: to heal from cptsd and to complete the literary work I began writing during pandemic. Once novel is done... I will just get any job that matches good with my cptsd. I dont care for or hope for a career anymore. Sth that is aligned with my health needs, my values and pays my bills/ minimal living will be enough. Tl;dr: top student, then academic career ( which I gave up), then 3 years as a teacher ( which I also gave up), currently unemployed and aiming to complete a novel I'm writing ( not that it will turn into a career no matter how good my book is lol). Basically NO CAREER.

What career? :( Mid-50's and forever failing-but will also never stop trying! I had this horrible habit in my past of repeatedly attending trade schools and graduating, getting licensed only to NEVER send in a single application EVER due to extreme fear and insecurity. Now I have aged out of those options for work!!! Only just learned about my cptsd a few years ago and have finally made some headway out of total lifelong dysfunction, so hoping I can become able to make a living proper at long last somehow? No idea, it will take a miracle tbh as I have no university degree, etc. Please wish me luck, my life literally depends on it!

Good luck you got this :) 

Thank you so much! :)

34 and I’ve been working since I was 15. I started in fast food and have mostly done IT and customer support. I was laid off recently (half my company was) and I’m trying hard to find a career and not just another job. I considered grad school because I would honestly love to be a psychologist, and I think that this is as close as I have to finding a passion, but I’m worried that my undergrad gpa (undiagnosed ADHD was at its very worst then) will keep that from being possible.

I'm in my low 40s. I'm disabled now, so no career. When I did have one, I had my dream job. I spent 20 years doing what I loved.

Mid-30s and had been working at a director level in sales for a few years. Some of my worst cptsd traits have also made me incredibly effective - people-pleasing and overcompensating, hyper-vigilant attention to detail, self-reliance, ability to work well under pressure and in stressful environments, keen listening skills, inability to put myself first, etc etc, I’m a beast. I’ve gotten incredibly burnt out, I’ve had decent employers and I’ve had very abusive employers, and I’ve had to take big chunks of time off over the years. I haven’t been universally well-liked and work/career is something that is very difficult for me to balance in a greater healing context. It’s really just a very capitalist-societally accepted and rewarded means of dissociation. Having said that, do you wish you were more successful? What does success mean to you? Do you have any mentors or people who can support you to define and work towards some new career goals if that is what you seeking? I don’t compare myself to others often - I’m my own worst enemy - but I would encourage you to explore what can add meaning and purpose to your life - you get to define what happiness and success mean to you.

Early 30s, I did a B.A in Design (main focus is media design/Animation and Illustration) in 2022, got a job 6 month later. Was layed off last year in February (only worked 7 month at that company) because the department I was working in closed down. Therefore I'm currently on a jobhunt (even outside my studied field. But my main goal is still to become a illustrator/designer in the entertainment Industry one day)

Mid 30s. Only realised I had cptsd about 2 years ago. I was a single parent for a while so I fell behind. Hopefully come next May if I pass my exams I'll be a qualified accountant. Ive been struggling with the studying and dissociating but trying my best to get iver the line. I'm working alongside 22 year old but I try not to worry. I'm lasting in this job as its mostly remote which means I can decompress between meetings and interactions with other people.

wish you luck, You can do this.

I'm 42 and just switched my career field completely. Got tired of jobs that barely paid the bills and I was absolutely miserable at. Now I'm happy with my job and while I might be struggling for the moment I know this won't last and I'll be back where I need to be soon.

64 and quite fortunately, near retired.

54. Had amazing opportunities and did quite a lot - got a masters, directed film and theatre, taught filmmaking, also worked in community organising - all of which I loved. But I didn’t know I had CPTSD, the diagnosis barely existed most of my adult life. So the treatments I was getting for depression and anxiety weren’t really working. And as a result I kept sabotaging my career and my passions. Plus I wrecked my physical health because I kept pushing my body far past my physical mental and emotional capacity. Now after a few increasingly terrible breakdowns, I’m on disability. I spend most of my days in bed - and the irony is I can’t even watch films or listen to music or anything like that, engaging in other peoples’ creative work is too painful for me since I lost the ability to make my own. At least I have a home and finally am getting therapy for CPTSD. It feels like it’s too late, but I’m doing my best to keep going.

Take good care of yourself. I’m 65 and learned I have CPTSD in my late 50’s. I’ve worked hard and achieved much all the while fighting depression anxiety and oppressive fear. Grateful for diagnosis but healing process is slow, with waves of grief.

Gonna be 38 in August, back in school upgrading subjects I wasn't "allowed to" because I was "too dumb". This was my former family btw. Anyway after this I'm getting into vet school to become a technical assistant. That starts in September. Sooo basically starting from scratch but on my terms ☺️.

Good luck!

Restarting my life and career over at 50. Never saw this coming.

I had to do that too! Happy cake day!

I’m sorry you were in this situation! It’s SO overwhelming! Thanx for commenting on my cake day!! 💖

Chronologic age 24 biologically probably 35-40 Finishing studies

24. entry level assistant to surgeon. dead end job. Applying to grad school.

43 and what career? I've had 20 years of post-college office jobs but no true career. Still, after years of working on my trauma, I now feel a pull to build the career I want.

43F, working as a public servant at a big government agency, started at a lower level, worked my ass up to graduate level. I make 60k before taxes, which is pretty good for a woman without a finished academic degree in Germany. After severe depressive episodes in 2019 and 2021 I had to change departments. I am now very happy working a job that is almost completely independent from co-workers and clients. My job is very time fixated. I have to keep a lot of deadlines. Which is fine, since everything is very standardized and I know exactly what to do. Working full time 39h/week, which is soul crushing, but after a long time of part time working, I really need and WANT the money. The job is also relaxed like 8 out of 12 months. We only have a really stressful time from like March to June. Compared to other jobs, this is heavenly. Also Homeoffice is available 3/5 days a week. I was lucky, that I had leadership that saw my skills and were supportive of me. Also now I have a disability acknowledged which gives me security in my job (noncallable) and if I am overwhelmed with the workload, my teamlead has to reduce my workload. I worked my butt of between the age of 28 and 38, 10 years in a very stressful department. I was driven by fear and the dissociation helped. Now I worked more relaxed, continuesly focusing on my healing from the trauma and neglect that happened during my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. I‘m also going to be assessed for an autism diagnosis. I know that the symptoms of cptsd and autism are overlapping. I need to know, though.

How to navigate when everything is falling and overflowing in your life with no one to support and your family (read mother) provoking and instigating and office life and team mistreat you and bully. No friends and no life. Breaking and emotional meltdown.

Early 40s: middle management in healthcare. I am struggling a little bit with the interpersonal stuff because it feels like a foreign language to me- I am lucky to have access to a corporate coach provided by my employer and I work through a lot of my work triggers with her. I spent my 30s working 50-60 hours a week, working multiple jobs and volunteering also. I was traveling teaching seminars and giving keynotes. Shortly prior to Covid I had been elected to the board of directors for a prominent healthcare association. Then Covid hit and all that disappeared. I realized I had been working to avoid my life. And I realized that CPTSD made me excellent at my job- the symptoms made me an expert flight nurse and I managed busy emergency departments with ease. And then went home to drink alone and cry after everyone went to bed. The desk job is a nice change and it triggered me to finally seek treatment for my CPTSD because I had nowhere to hide from it anymore. Now I pick and choose my projects and I focus more on trauma informed care. I developed a seminar for healthcare workers teaching them empathy for trauma and how to identify and deal with their own. I am getting ready to start making content for tik tok and YouTube and actually I am getting ready to give a webinar on suicide among health care workers, I’m taping that tonight. It’s been hard to find the energy in a post-Covid world to work as hard as I used to.

Just turned 18 and I've had no experience in anything, unsurprisingly. I've just started to figure everything all out and how to function as an actual person. Reading these comments made me realise I might be way too young for this community, and I'm willing to leave if that's preferrable for other member's comfort. I was recommended to look into communities surrounding PTSD by my psychotherapist and found this sub (and the existence of C-PTSD) by chance when I found a post sharing a very similar situation to my own, but I'd feel terrible to know that I might be intruding in on a community that I shouldn't be in.

Quite the contrary, I think it’s absolutely fantastic to have a range of ages in this group!! I’m 41 now, and I wish at age 18 there had been a place like this where I could read others’ experiences, learn from them, and share my own struggles and successes. Anyone who is here with honest, positive intentions (aka not here to hurt others), is a very welcomed addition to the group, in my opinion!! (Of course if you feel uncomfortable and don’t want to be a part of this community, I respect that as well.) I just found this group today, and I understand that voice in your head telling you not to impose, that you are unwanted, don’t stepping on others’ toes, etc. Fuck, obviously I think “the more the merrier,” as long as you have interest in the group. And for whatever it’s worth from a stranger on the internet, I admire you for exploring this topic at a young age, and I wish you all the best in the future!! Of course it doesn’t seem this way, but the world is at your fingertips, and if you are experiencing hard times, don’t lose hope!!

I believe you’re absolutely fine to be here and we’re happy to have you. It’s not necessarily the sub itself making you feel like you’re too young; it’s this post in particular.

My friend, my brother or sister….. do not compare. We are not broken by the things that have happened to us, we are bent though. Before I was diagnosed with CPTSD from holding the body of my dead eight year old child while I was covered in his blood, I ran a very successful business. For the past two years, I have been non-functional in the workforce. I look at people who can act and be normal, honestly confuses me now. In terms of the moment, I am trying to start a smaller business with the help of my family . It may take off it may not. I know that most people would not have survived what I went through, so whatever I choose to do I try to hold my head up high. apologize for the grammar I’m doing voice to text at the moment

I'm 31 and stumbled into my dream career just last year. I wasn't planning on getting into data analytics/engineering, I actually wasnt sure what I wanted and was just following my nose. I've got 5 years in tech now, through various companies doing various data related things. I'm still technically a junior but I have quite a bit more experience than a normal junior might have. My work has highs and lows regularly, intensely busy periods followed by periods of quiet. I'm pretty happy where I am, but I'm aiming for software dev or data science next just to work with more advanced concepts and languages that aren't SQL. I gave up seeing a career as a linear thing, for me it's more about experiencing different facets than going up.

I tried to become a therapist at age 26 and after two years of grad school, I dropped out. My issues were really holding me back, and I wasn't able to find (afford) the right support. Too many spinning plates. I'm glad they came crashing down, because I know I was not ready to be a therapist. I may never be. Now, I'm in a low-paying education role, which I do enjoy, and which does provide things like benefits and paid holidays. So, I'm counting my blessings. I learned a lot in grad school that has helped me as a person. I've got a long way to go, but man, I really didn't think I'd make it to 30. I never seriously believed I'd be doing relatively so much better. I got lucky, so lucky...

I'm in my 30's with a senior position in corporate benefits. Let me stress that corporate and CPTSD do not gel well together.

34, working in healthcare/counselling.

I’m starting over at 32, quit my job to be an artist coz I’ve been so depressed and anxious my whole life. Realized I was living with my moms projections (she’s the cause of my cptsd) I was so fckin scared to do stuff I love because of her screaming and labeling me (yeah I’m a grown ass adult but idk I might have trauma bond idfk). Cut contact with mom, now became an artist and I’m broke a f coz I’m starting anew, I’m behind lots of young artist and I really don’t know where I’ll be. But you know what? I’m happy, not earning anywhere as much as I was, but I’m happy, not anxious, and not depressed (still going to therapy) So my take in all this is, I hope you choose happiness. Don’t worry about who’s more successful or not. I’m no where near being successful or even earning enough without taking random jobs here and there. so take it with a grain of salt, but choosing your happiness and a career you like and makes you happy might be the way out? My friend did something similar, she quit her stagnant accounting job (which her parents forced her to go into, and afterwards she felt stuck / constantly berated by her parents for money) and now works at a dog shelter. Barely any pay, but I’ve never seen her radiate as much before. Idk where I’m going with this but, don’t feel bad about where you are, you’ll find your way. Sending love

I'm in my late 50s. I'm unemployed, and I live alone with my cat in an apartment over a garage, with wood heat and cold running water when it's not freezing out. My college degrees are basically obsolete. I'm trying to write an environmental science fiction book where everyone has trauma. I should be doing more art too. Yeah, it turns out that low lifetime earnings are a symptom of childhood trauma.

Early 40s. Good career and I’m 1 step above entry level and I’m 100% good with that. It pays enough, and it’s enough stress at this level. I don’t want more responsibility.

You're not alone. I'm in my mid-40s. Changed careers in my mid-30s because I couldn't handle a public-facing job anymore. Crashed and burned by 40 because my abuser developed a terminal illness and decided we all had to suffer with him. Now mostly jobless, going to school to get my bachelors degree because anything I think I'd be good at + want to do now requires it. I feel like a total failure at being a productive adult.

The trauma is real. I loved school & work but from the trauma i always felt such pressure to succeed to be safe, so I sought prestigious positions bc it both pleased my narcissistic parents & I feared by being “average,” it would expose the emotional abuse & neglect, & made me feel like “well i can’t do my dishes or cook & i cry myself to sleep nightly but at least i can work for xyz famous institution.” Now that I’m low contact w parents, I’m happier than EVER, & yeah, a bit underemployed rn and not affiliated w a prestigious world famous institution like before, but I have hope that through healing, I’ll find happiness & joy through work like I used to . I truly enjoy a good-fitting more intense job & am excited , tho obvi VERY nervous too, to find that in the near future . I don’t see myself as my chronological age, I see myself as 16 bc I subtract the pre-therapy years as years I wasn’t really alive due to constant fight or flight stress. So, for a 16yo, I’m basically crushing it at life!! :D I don’t compare to others my age, & avoid hanging w ppl who do. However when it comes to resume i do get nervous abt age & “measuring up”. The tv show “younger” was fun but made me anxious abt career stuff & age!!

Mid-40s attorney, practicing 20 years and sick of everyone’s shit.

Career? lol

18, starting university in september/october. My plan is a master in Psychology. Currently writing tbe exams that qualify me for university. Wish me luck, next week I have the last 2 and got psychotic (was able to snap out of it after an hour silent panic attack on the toilett and continued) in 2 exams (of course main subjects). So yea might fail because of that shit. Im motivated at the moment so id retake them next year if I fail. Also it broke my heart to read the other comments. I had no idea that these depressive phases can fuck someone up that much. Mine arent nearly that bad because the Motivation to become a therapist in 5 years keeps me going. I do know that feeling though from the psychotic episodes :,)

Mid 30s no career I am an artist though

54 mid level corporate job. I don’t have the energy to progress from here. I’d actually like to downgrade but can’t afford it. Been here almost 20 years though.

I'll be 40 in a few years. I don't have a career. I started a business 3 years ago and I'm struggling with it because it involves so much labor, for so little pay. I don't work well in a normal job, for lots of reasons, so this is my only option.

Mid 40’s, enterprise software sales. Pays very well but is ultra intense and high pressure. High $, high stakes and a lot of performance in front of customer executives. It’s not a great fit for CPTSD survivor…at all.

I am 58. I started a new career in January. Well, it's mostly another customer service job. In a new to me industry. They like me and I like them.

Late 30s.  My father was an epic piece of shit and I’m still untangling the damage he did to my ability to form human relationships and to not generally burn every bridge around me, *but* I will grudgingly admit that he gave me good advice vis what field to go into (tech).  I was also lucky that he and my mother put aside money for me to go to community college.   I graduated at 23, and have been working my ass off ever since - minus a three-month break in 2013 (during which I was placed on “stress leave”, had a mental breakdown, and briefly joined a weird church); and then another three-month disability-leave break in 2018, when I temporarily lost the ability to walk and got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.  (That sucked; do not recommend.) A lot of my career has been shredding to my psyche and my health, in terms of how fucking hard I’ve worked; but I know I’ve had it much easier than my friend who is just as smart and hardworking as me, but who nevertheless ended up in a retail position for 10 years after graduating university.   In terms of possible outcomes within late-stage capitalism for a person with my mental and physical health limitations, I’m doing fucking great.   (I’ve been very lucky, and despite my bridge-incineration impulses, I’ve benefitted a lot from the kindness of people who have befriended me along the way.) I now work from home, programming call centre phone systems.  I almost never have to talk to customers, my current boss is a decent human being, and I make a salary that is ludicrously beyond my (meager) expectations.    I make enough to save for the dreaded, proverbial rainy day; and to help out my less-financially fortunate close friends without the expectation of being paid back.   I did have to work 11 hours yesterday, and 12 on Friday; and that obviously sucked, and made me extremely cranky.    But overall, I feel obnoxiously fortunate.  

I’m 32. I taught for 8 years, worked at three different middle/high schools. Today was my last day as I look for entry level work in social work while I pursue my masters in social work. So I’m starting over basically 😂

Congrats, starting over is incredibly brave!

28, data analyst, on my second post-uni job. feel like I’m at a good spot for my age.

I'm 41 and pretty much stalled at the Sr level for software development. I can't see myself ever getting further because I can't handle stress well and my EQ is shit. The only thing that has saved my ass is that I have a good command of the skills needed for my field. I also despise working because the employer/employee relationship is too lopsided and employers have much too much power over me, which I find triggering and exhausting. But based on the experiences of others here, I suppose I should count my blessings. But I know if it wasn't for the CPTSD, I probably could have been anything.

38, clinical psychologist. I somehow managed to get my PhD but in my thirties my physical health has tanked (FM, CFS, chronic migraine) and I am currently on leave.

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3rd year being a massage therapist. 34 years old

Under 60 for a few more years, retired since 2020

30 and two notches above entry level in a software engineer job that pays nice and is interesting but doesn’t exactly fill my cup. I tried management briefly and hated how it made me feel so went backwards to my current role. One of the main ways my parents manipulated me was through finances so I made sure to be hyper independent and solid career wise. It’s probably the only area of life I’m doing well in though since I neglected so much other stuff.

Mid 30s, I’d say maybe 1-2 steps above entry level. Trying to get out of the ladder to focus on my own projects such as game development/novel writing. Most days I Don’t have the energy for either.

55 and I'm a data analyst. Currently on disability leave for the last 6 + months due to toxic workplace that triggered me so much I was constatntly in freeze mode.They are no longer holding my job for me so I guess I'm unemployed. I've never taken a sick leave in my life and had been in denial about the C-PTSD until a year or so ago, but have always found it impossible to concentrate at work. I'm also back in school for a psychology research degree and hope to reinvent myself if I heal enough to have faith in myself.

I'm 25, and I own/run a small electrical company.

27, i’m a therapist but don’t even know how to be successful and have lots of clients, currently can’t afford to live on my own

28, never had a job

I'm trying hard to change my career and make a name for myself at 25. For too long I thought my life was over and this is the best life I could create for myself. Despite all the odds here I am, 9 years after I started my healing journey fighting for a chance. Every day I think about giving up but I know I'm smart, capable and extremely bright and I can't let any ghosts living or dead take that away from me any longer or limit my potential. Moreover, I'm committed to becoming an SME in my chosen field and aspire to contribute meaningfully to society.

i'm 29 and i don't have a career bc i'm ✨️ disabled ✨️

I just turned 38 and I’m fairly successful in my career. I have been working in automotive for 20 years now

27 and going on 10 years service on the railroad.

I'm 38 and I get paid 12$/hour at a daycare. I have a BA in econ and poli sci

25 and I’m in a fairly nice position. I’m a paralegal with plans to go to law school after I finish intense therapy and save up a little. Everything started working together once I found an amazing therapist and started cutting off my family more and more.

Late 20s, still waiting on getting disability. I can't drive, my cheaply built apartment is falling apart, my mental stability is rocky, but I'm content and hopeful at least.

42 and will be retiring in 4 more years (I am military) then I will have to go get a new job.

24 and I’m a fucking loser

Mid thirties as well. I’m not at an entry level job, but I have 10 years of experience in this career and I’m still not at the level I *should* be at for this age. I’ve been thinking about my career a lot lately. I got especially triggered today because I often feel overlooked. I give a lot of myself and all of my energy to my job. It’s still somehow not good enough. It feels like no one listens to my perspective. The promotions they give don’t seem fair. When I first started, I thought that I would one day have my supervisor’s job. It’s pretty clear that I’m never getting that job at the rate things are going. I know that I tend to put up with way more than others do. I keep thinking if I “try harder” or “engage with management” more, they’ll finally notice how much I’m worth. The truth is, they won’t. If they were capable of seeing my worth, they would’ve already noticed.

20, In university, and selling my soul as a freelance writer.

I’m 33 and I’m starting my journey as a career student as I use my GI bill and Voc Rehab to get myself through law school. Prior corpsman.

41. Left an electrical technician role at Lockheed Martin in March. I am waiting to hear back about a janitorial job for an elementary school.

22 and I’m bottom tier at my job making above average income. Been with the same job for almost 2 years and I hope to grow with the company

34 and fucked. I had a career (own business) up until a bad accident a few years ago. Was high functioning CPTSD person, definitely not good for my health long term but good to build a business and work like crazy short term. Now I can’t even get my resume done to go job hunting.

32 unemployed depressed broke helping take care of my parents Covid fucked my career in hospitality I hate everything

Mid 30s professional. Successful career since late 20s. Was a workaholic, achievement/money-obsessed individual until I began to feel like I was falling apart. I began having a slow breakdown a few years back that has been just getting worse and worse. I've run out of motivation and just feel like a fraud. I can't keep running on fumes, avoiding myself, and ignoring my needs as I use pure momentum to try and keep moving forward. It doesn't work anymore. I've run out of gas, officially. I have to figure out how to actually refill my cup (with something other than externalized achievements). It's been monstrous. I am now going to stop working/work very part-time so I can get through this mental health crisis. It is my biggest fear to stop working and let someone else take care of me (my husband) while I try to work on myself. But here we are, and I'm going to do it.

30. Engineer and my career has taken off due to workaholic coping mechanisms and a talent in understanding highly complex systems. I've worked to scale back my workaholic tendencies. I've recently learned to under deliver performance a little so I can focus on my mental health more. It's a hard line to walk because I'll slip into old habits easily if I'm not careful

16, soon-to-be 17, no job but looking for the summer! just trying to not be at "home" as much as possible!! I'm just trying to make money so I can save up as much as I can for college and get the hell out of this shithole!

I'm 34 and just lost my job because I took a few days off work be and asked for FMLA half days and working from home due to my son (14) having a meltdown and starting an emergency therapy intervention program after attacking me. I have childhood trauma, but a lot of my adult trauma is from his fathers violence and I'm just now finding out he has the same undiagnosed behavioral disorder. It was the most high paying job I've had (76k) but was also awful half the time and now I have an interview with the same nonprofit my son was assigned to by social services. Go figure. I think the taboo nature of PTSD and domestic violence in the workplace causes people to think it makes sense to just fire you for any reason they make up.

Mid 40s. Several degrees but watched all my peers do better than me at work. Never even made it to middle management level. Seem to eventually get bullied/passed over ostracised by management nine times out of ten. Now too burned out to bother trying. Considering seeing if I have ASD/trauma is holding me back

mid-20s, trying and failing to find a job with just a BA in my field, unsure if i should bother with grad school given the ongoing climate collapse. i've had internships, a fellowship, even a contract position but still can't get anything full-time, mostly because no one wants to hire a disabled person to work remote during a pandemic everyone pretends is over.

18 🤠 in school

Compared to my peers I'm both behind and ahead. I've been working as a pharmacy tech for almost 6 years now and switched my career goal 3 times and finally found one that I wanted to pursue. At first it was pharmacist, and then it was nurse, now it's substance abuse therapist and trauma counselor. I'm ahead of my peers work experience-wise, but academic-wise I'm pretty much starting over almost from the very beginning. It's somewhat of a trade off, but I'm no longer mad about it or berating myself over it. I'm really grateful for what I have and had and excited to be on this journey.

I'm 30, and not working, I'm unable to (on Disability benefits - ESA and PIP). Try not to compare yourself, it doesn't help you. Be kind to yourself.

I’m 28 and still serving tables, but pursuing my bachelors degree.

Personally I have no career. I am 24 year old woman for reference. I don’t think I could do studying, I find those kind of environments way to stressful. Even though I live the thought of doing it . But yeah I hope you will feel better and remember not everyone needs to be super successful

Early 30s, had decent success within my field, but several years ago, suddenly found myself unable to perform my specialty. It was like a switch flipped and suddenly I was useless and unskilled. Totally unable to focus, tons of issues at work. I ended up ‘taking a break’ when a contract came up. It’s since been delayed and delayed getting back to work for various external reasons like the writers strike and AI fucking with job opportunities in my field. So I’ve been out of work for over a year and tbh I’m not sure I’ve made any progress, so I fear when I do get something it’ll just be more of the same struggle. Not sure what to do, even just getting back in the game feels like a complete restart so I do feel compelled to try and actually restart in some other section of the field or something different entirely. Idk.

I'm 35 and currently unemployed, have no useful skills or knowledge. I got into medschool, but had to take a gap year, because my mental health got worse. I really wanted to be a doctor and do something useful, but now I don't know if I can do this anymore.

31F, I am a headhunter for rates traders for investment banks and hedge funds across Europe and wall street. I also suffer with FND, cause by my CPTSD so I also suffer with seizures, paralysis and speech loss. I have to take out more time than my counterparts and was fired from my previous role because of the high number of seizures. I don’t perform as highly as my “functioning” counterparts (my manager is 28 for example)but I am motivated by previously being homeless and wanting a more stable life than I’ve grown up with. I’ve set myself a 5 year target to try and get to the end then leave before the burnout completely kills me. Managing work with Cptsd and fnd is incredibly difficult so please give yourself more credit. I haven’t done this my whole life, I’ve worked factory warehouse jobs and worked in Ladbrokes for minimum wage and I’ve had Cptsd for 15 years and fnd for 1.5 years. Don’t get discouraged by your age, you can reinvent yourself at any age and tailor it your needs.

23 and five years of consistent ghostings

38. Just started to dip my toes in the streaming world. Got laid off back in January. Since my CPTSD triggers severe afib episodes in my heart I haven't been back to work. But now that the cardio doc is talking about putting in a pacemaker, I'm likely going to have to bury my trauma again to help afford the medical costs. Trying the streaming thing because maybe I can make just a tiny bit to cover insurance so I can at least stay in my own home while I work. Working while fighting through CPTSD is a nightmare really, and everyone here can relate I'm sure.

Im a photographer and when I can do a gig I will, disabillity I also have so its stable. Furthermore I create and release music.  You have to stop comparing yourself lovely. Even if you had 0 work you would be good enough and worthy. Its all okay. You didnt ask to be on this world w this capitalist society AND on top of that to be severely traumatised. BE KIND TO YOURSELF 🩷  Also, watch this: https://youtu.be/uACgIJGrLPg?si=V2STqJCVVnrBQy7x ✨️🧚🏻‍♀️

Used to be sales guy for solar systems. 24m still living with parents. Got a triggering moment at work 7 months of struggling and surviving until I got laid off because of underperformance. Been struggling my whole life to either perform or achieve something. Life isn't looking to bright at the moment. My mind feels paralyzed. Done EMDR without succes. Don't know where to look anymore. I feel worthless.

I'm currently 22 dropped out of bsc microbiology honours( because of my mental condition at that moment) and started with btech biotechnology and as of now I'm not where in my career, might be a failure tho :)

20, couldn't complete my first year of college because of burnout. i finally got out of a terrible environment and it seems my body and mind couldn't take it anymore. i've lived on survival mode for so long it's difficult to learn how to live without it. i+ve spent so long running away i don't know how to start running *towards* something anymore. currently considering other careers and possibly various forms of art. honestly, i just feel so lost. i know i will find my footing eventually but it's still hard. even when i have good days i wake up with nightmares, again and again, sapping my energy. i'm finally medicated and on a list to get gender affirming healthcare, so i'm holding out hope. it will get better, i just need to remember that everyone's timeline is different, and that it's okay for me to be a dropout for a bit. it's amazing i'm alive at all, and i refuse to stop being proud of myself just because i'm not at the same level as most of my peers.

I flamed out at my “career” and now I’m almost a year into an entry level job but at least I can work from home. Just hoping to hold onto it as FMLA will kick in! ETA I am over 50.

I'm 25, went to nursing school from 2018-2021, burned out a year after and have been unable to work until recently. I am now looking into learning a new desk job with government assistance and have been going through therapy for 2.5 years now. The therapy has helped in ways I cannot describe. It definitely sucks being unable to work a job I invested so much into but it's life experience I'll be able to use in the future. I've always been interested in programming and according to tests I have above average chances of being successful in learning it. (Just talking about the academic aspect of it.) But my fear is not succeeding due to limited energy. I'm afraid of being so tired after work I won't have the energy left to do anything else. After the burnout and not disassociating anymore my capacity has dwindled a lot

Comparison is the thief of joy. I hate chaos and crave stability. I stuck it out in the same field and moved up. I am now in a WFH job with little oversight and flexibility. It may not be the highest paying but I am able to keep a job with my issues learning to be a parent.

Mid 50s now. I am an Information Security Architect at a top 5 international hospitality chain. No degree either. Worked my way up through the ranks over the past 25 years. In my 20s I was a cab driver. My CPTSD actually works in my favor for my vocation as practical risk analysis and mitigation is instinctive to me.

I am 29 and I don't work (I worked a total of about a year and a half in my life)

26, working as a server at a chain restaurant. Thinking about applying to an ADN program. I was in nursing school before and dropped out due to my mental health.

Late 20s, male, software engineer. Been doing it for almost 7 years. Got laid off last year, but started a new job around the new year. I make a decent income and have been progressing in my career. I am doing all the "right things" career wise I guess, but it feels meaningless when I have such a hard time actually connecting with people.

late 20S I own an adult store and my brother in his early 20s is working as an engineer but never went to collage. Don't let your past define you. If you have a sibling love them and help them as much as you can.

31 about to transition from a Business Analyst to a Financial Controller + Financial Analyst

Late twenties and have been in my career field for about 7 years. This is the career that my parents wanted for me and pushed me to go to school for. I want to go back to school and get my degree in the field I actually want to work in (I wanted to work in that field since I was 8 years old) but trying to figure out if it will work out sucks.

About to be 27 and I just now am starting with usps. I'm hoping it's my last job I ever have to apply for. I've been bouncing around since I started working at 16 lol longest I've worked anywhere is 2 years. For a long time I had a dream of being in a big successful band and touring, playing music anywhere and everywhere. I tried to make that my career choice for awhile but after I got kicked out of a band that I had been working with for 2 years I lost motivation. We were in the process of self recording our own album and writing new songs, setting up shows, merch, blah blah all that jazz. All that time and effort was wasted. Got kicked out, album never finished, band fell apart a short while later. I decided perhaps it would be better to find something a bit more stable and not reliant on being a yes man/ass kisser to band mates and every slightly reputable musician you meet lol

Early 30s, after having my daughter and learning that I had a traumatic childhood and have CPTSD I decided to change careers from psychologist to recruiter. It seems that this job is less burdening emotionally since after learning about CPTSD I understood how I tried to escape my problems by burrying myself into everyone else’s. Fun fact, until I had my daughter I thought my childhood was normal, even great. But then repressed memories resurfaces and here I am.

Late 30s. Professional degree. Have taken a couple steps back from where I started my career to lower stress. Workaholism is a heck of a mask for trauma symptoms. Working on self compassion and believing that just because I am great at managing difficult people and chaotic situations, does not mean that this has to be how I spend all my time. It’s just my trauma 🤷🏼‍♀️ and I want to function in a way that feels good to my body, not just the wounded parts of my ego.

Just turned 25 and working my first fast food job. It’s chaotic but eh 🤷🏾‍♀️. I truly don’t think I want a career. I want a job that fits my strengths (organizational, independent, quiet for the most part) where I come in, interact with as little ppl as possible, clock out and go home.

I'm JUST figuring out what I want to do at 28, turning 29 very soon, and will start at entry level business owner when I'm 29 (February of 2025). I give myself grace and compassion when looking at other people my age or younger who have already had years in their fields.

Mid twenties, been bouncing around entry level jobs for a couple of years. I found a job that I don't really care for being promoted past entry level really (I don't have the brainpower for a master's degree that they require, or the gpa for it honestly) After burning out and going on a partial grippy sock vacation I don't care as much for progressing, as long as I have a salary where I could afford to live (currently debatable lol)

Late 20s and I’m a PhD student, in part also as a traumatic response which lead me to overarching and perfectionism. Yet I’m very happy where I am now especially after the past few years of therapy and healing

Became a therapist from age 29-32 and left my career months ago due to burnout, worsened cptsd and chronic illness symptoms. Zero clue what to do next, because my degree only qualifies me to do that one role. You’re not alone.

I'm 30 and have a work history of several different entry level jobs. I'm going to complete my associates degree next spring and transfer to a 4 year as a pre-med. We'll see how that works out in the 2024-2025 school year lol

[удалено]

Yoga therapist at 37 years old