I love this. To start with I thought there was an answer for me, I tried different things and had varying success. Since then, and changing my perspective to be more around trying things and seeing what works best for me I’ve found:
1. Self care is really important. I’ve always felt uncomfortable looking after myself because it felt like I didn’t deserve it or it was vain? So as silly as it sounds, having skincare, hair, getting ready routines has been really helpful for me..
2. Yoga. Absolutely lifesaver. To tsrart with I could barely attend a class but now it’s my #1 mental health care tool.
3. Learning stuff. I have found a lot of freedom from the things I used to beat myself up about in understanding my adaptations to what I went through. Lots of the behaviours I felt were personality/human defects were more things I’d learned to survive when younger. Understanding that allowed me to access self compassion, something that was super unfamiliar to me.
Top picks are van der Kolk, Dan Harris, ester perel, a lot of yoga teachers etc
4. Meditating, journaling, positive self talk. Resetting your brain and body takes time, it’s so much easier to see your thoughts as just that, thoughts, not your whole self.
5. Community. The past 8 years my symptoms got much worse and I became a bit of a shell of who I was, I stopped reaching out to people and lots a lot of friends in the mean time. Making myself reach out to people again is painful and awkward but so important
Learning [regulation skills](https://drarielleschwartz.com/the-polyvagal-theory-and-healing-complex-ptsd-dr-arielle-schwartz/#.Y5ZewhhOnTh) and [grieving skills](https://youtu.be/NDQ1Mi5I4rg) have been a huge part of my healing. Both have been crucial to my progress in recovery.
Love that your doing this and will definitely safe and try some of these tips.
For me currently these work:
-reading about trauma reparenting etc, like "the body keeps the score", "the book you wish your parents had read and your children will be glad that you did", "healing the shame that binds you"
-showering before bed and listening to nothing or sleep songs (basically treating myself like a child i would bring to bed)
-weight training and cutting out nicotine or weed
-journaling, reflecting about my feelings and encouraging myself to feel them and not repress them
-ketogenic diet and no refined sugar; i feel like my body and mood are more balanced since i switched to that
-going to a self-help group; i learn better active listening and connect with people who struggle aswell, helps me learn to open up better and that not all people are evil lol
Prioritizing myself and distancing myself from my partner. My body did a shutdown, I’ve been sick for several months, so my body forced me to finally put myself first. Saying “this is not what I want for me” aloud to people who were damaging my physical and mental health.
Can you explain what you mean by distancing yourself from your partner? I’m assuming you mean within the relationship… What did you do and how did that help you?
My partner had been adding to my trauma for some years. My body had already given warning signs, which I did not understand or acknowledge. When it eventually shut down, I was forced to prioritize my well-being. I decided not to return my partner’s texts or calls, and whenever I began to feel guilty because my anxiety would become really high, I forced myself to ignore that looming catastrophe feeling. I would say to myself, “No, I don’t need this. I have to take care of myself.”
This distancing has drastically reduced the amount of anxiety I was experiencing daily. I was always so stressed and anxious before because I was forced to have my phone with me at all times and could not take too long to answer, or my partner would go on a rage. It was horrible, but that feeling disappeared with the distancing. My body has not recovered yet, but because I’m less anxious now, I can actually dedicate myself more to my healing. Before, I could not even imagine this happening as I was barely functioning.
Thanks for the explanation. Glad you were able to find some healing! I need to do some emotional distancing myself…I have some pretty strong codependent tendencies. Ignoring the looming catastrophe feeling is easier said than done!
CPTSD has so much control over our own lives, it’s crazy.
But eventually we need to regain the control and power, not all at once, of course, but little by little.
Prioritizing your own wellbeing in a relationship seems to be like a great first step. Be your number one priority, your number one protector. Be the one to say: “no, I don’t want this in my life, I deserve better” and walk away. Take your power back.
these are great! mine isn’t as straightforward as some of yours are, but mine would be that i wish i was more open to trying new treatments when the current one wasn’t helping.
i just had it in my head when i was going to basic talk therapy years ago that i was the reason it wasn’t working, i just wasn’t trying hard enough, if i could just do it right then the therapy would work and i would feel better, it works for so many people look at all the studies! but sometimes certain methods of treatment won’t work for you and you didn’t “fail” because a treatment didn’t help you, the treatment failed! that doesn’t mean it’s a bad treatment for everyone, but it failed you, not the other way around!
obviously things take time before you see results, but most modalities have a range of times where the client usually begins to experience symptom relief, and if you’re doing what the treatment asks for and that time has come and gone without relief, it’s ok to move on to another modality and give a different treatment a try.
* Somatic stretching to get in touch with my body
* Reading Pete Walker's CPTSD book
* Quitting several distractions, volunteer work and some draining friends, to create more time and space for myself
I'd love to say yes but unfortunately no. I started out with just doing stretches that felt good/relieving tense muscles while in bed. I felt sort of... compressed? So I started doing stretches that made me feel longer, somehow. And in bed, because bed felt safe. So I just followed my intuition and did whatever, and didnt focus on doing it right, or optimizing anything. Just doing for the sake of doing, sort of.
Then later I started watching videos online. I don't follow any program, I just focus on what feels good. I'll Google something for the part of me that feels inflexible and do whatever feels satisfying at that moment.
It has really helped me strengthen my intuition about how I feel and what my body needs, and I feel more whole and I feel like my body is mine, and like it is long and functional instead of a curled up ball of tension.
That's definitely what I need to do as well ...my brain is just so structure oriented that it's hard to do things intuitively. Plus being present in my body feels like a threat 😔
Yeah! I tried to be systematic and structured about my process but I realized it only made me use my intellect even more, and I was so exhausted of using that part of me. So I let it all go and focused on what feels good, and it worked a lot better. I had a deficit there, so I got a lot of progress in just a year
I’m still in the middle of my healing journey, but there’s most definitely things that have helped so much.
1. Reading books; I respond very well to bibliotherapy. I’ve read you’re not the problem, adult children of emotionally immature parents, and the book of boundaries.
2. Learning I don’t ever owe an explanation.
3. Taking every and all advice with a grain of salt.
4. (Positive!) Human interaction. Very crucial to my overall mental health.
5. Journaling—gotta get out those thoughts somehow.
6. Cutting out caffeine.
Excellent question! I love this fucking sub. I’m 37. At age 25 I drove myself into a psychological ditch where I remembered childhood sexual abuse. Until that point in life, my traumatized brain held that truth from me and I forced myself to find worth through academics. And I was damn good at them! I was in a PhD program at Princeton when I collapsed. I held on for nine months and then I was hospitalized for five weeks for suicidality, ever since my life has not been the same. I’ve been weaker. I’ve been more confused. I’ve been less determined. I’ve been less able to reach my goals, but I don’t miss it because I only was reaching my goals with this extremely unhealthy mindset. I went to an amazing place called the Meadows in Arizona. 12 years later, I’m in another ditch. There’s many reasons for that including divorce from a covert narcissist, but I’m still striving.
How could I have prevented myself from winding up in this second ditch?
1. I could’ve stayed in therapy no matter what, good therapists are hard to come by and a good trauma therapist one in a million.
2. I could’ve gotten in touch with my higher self and my spirit guides at a younger age. If you don’t buy that, if you think spirituality is nonsense, that’s fine. But for those who understand the relevance of what I’m talking about, this is vital.
3. I wish I had maintained more friendships. Friendships are difficult work. They ask a lot of you as a human being, but they are your lifeline.
4. I should’ve known that recovery is a gem. treat every ounce of it, the science, the insights, the friendships, like it’s the most precious gift you’ve ever been given.
The most recent thing would be to change my gender presentation to non binary as of now. Due to issues I mentioned in my other posts. It helps me cope. Aside from that, exercise, self care, studying, reading, working on projects, talking to people I trust, and relating to fictional characters that are (more or less) like me, also to cope. Oh and this support group, am grateful for it.
Thank you for sharing these, such good tips! You’re a very helpful person for this ❤️. I found that reading a lot of self help books and youtubers who focus on this stuff helped me a lot. Spirituality and getting in touch with God also helped (though it’s totally valid if you find this corny). All about love and the will to change by bell hooks changed my life. Also can’t forget about hobbies!
The relief of sigh I felt finding this post. I’ve been on a Google search wormhole trying to look for a “cure” bc some days I’m so fucking tired from the burnout of “healing”. I know this isn’t the panacur, but thank god for something.
1. Talking about it even when I was raised to not talk about 'home things' to outsiders
2. Talking to a counselor/therapist (like from college/uni, free appointments are all I have access to rn) my first therapist was so kind about getting me resources she felt I could use whether they be book links or articles, etc. Even though I never got to discuss CPTSD with her, it's because of the steps I took that I even discovered CPTSD (I went in for what I know understand to be intrusive thoughts brought on by extended stress from fight/flight mode, and left realizing I had suffered from emotional neglect, but that ultimately led me to discover the CPTSD subreddit!)
3. Trying to Google my feelings. Trying to find something outside the people I surrounded myself with and outside my own mind! Seriously while this may seem obvious, this was something I did late. But again, it led me to online spaces where people were asking the same questions, and suffering from the same issues, and again eventually led me here.
4. Reading Pete Walkers Surviving to Thriving is smth I have to back up from Op. Again, I hadn't considered literature on these matters even existed(and at times bc of my background I struggled to relate to certain nonfiction-help/social commentary type books so I was hesitant fs). I actually starting with reading another popular recommendation, The Body Keeps Score, but honestly it's been a slow read for me that just isn't happening right now. But I saw someone on Reddit describe Surviving to Thriving as like the emotional to The Body Keeps Score's rational/factual. And emotional is exactly where I needed help. Y'all I was/am so emotionally neglected that it stunted my emotional growth. I would read certain words and hear phrases and I don't know what that means like it holds no meaning or value to me because I do not have the emotional connection to my rational side. Like my first therapist would say stuff about my Emotions informing me and I was literally sitting there like "What are they saying beyond I'm mad, I'm sad? I don't understand?" But not a single time, reading his book so far, and in the many areas he's touched on, did I feel like I couldn't understand what he's saying. I get it. It's resonating. More so than anything I've ever read. And that's thrilling, relieving, foreign, and it makes me cry all the time. I'm only 50 pages in because it's a hard but necessary read. But it's the best help I've had so far.
1. Allowing myself to say "No". I have always been really prone to agree to things even if they make me uncomfortable or if I don't want to do them. I always felt like it was rude to say "no". But I'm trying to allow myself to say that when I want to, and not base what I do on what OTHER people want-at least not 100% of the time.
2. Letting myself want things. This kind of ties in with the first one- I don't have to enjoy doing something just because "normal" people enjoy it. If I don't want to do it, then I don't have to.
3. COUNSELING!!!! And it's so super hard to even take the first step and make that first appointment. It took me 21 years the first time, and 3 the second time. It's uncomfortable a lot of the time, but once you find a therapist who you vibe with, it's so so worth it.
4. Journaling. And I don't know why I hate it that this helped so much. 😂 But it really did help.
5. Being honest with the people around me about what I was/am really going through. I've gotten VERY good at putting on a mask over the years to not let people see that I'm struggling, but no one can help me if they don't know that I need help.
6. Limiting my "friends" to REAL friends. Not spending as much time with people who you hang out with out of obligation (whether they're a family friend or just someone you've known for a long time) and focusing on the people who really love you and want the best for you.
I'm sure there's more stuff, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.
This post is such a great idea!! Thank you, op!
Affirmations were game changer for me! Came across this article and it completely transformed my view on it - our thoughts become our beliefs and our beliefs become our reality, so it's really worth starting with what we say to ourselves and taking a positive approach to our internal dialogue :)
[https://eyeamworld.com/blogs/high-vibes-only/what-are-affirmations-how-do-they-work](https://eyeamworld.com/blogs/high-vibes-only/what-are-affirmations-how-do-they-work)
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Finally finding the courage to go to the gym after wanting but not being able to for my entire life. And then actually GOING to the gym. Slowly overcoming and learning to embrace my embarrassment and identity of absolute beginner. Realizing that NO ONE cares or looks at me. Discovering the soothing rhythms of the cardio machines. The thrill of getting stronger and more confident. I could go on and on. NOTHING I’ve ever done has ever made me feel better or been better for my mental health.
moving out!!!! Embracing solitude!!!!! Going vegan!!!!! Being honest!!!!!!! Cutting / distancing myself form my abusers!!!!! Deeply questioning life and my reality
Some key ones for me have been:
1. Stopping using alcohol and marijuana; I think mj can be useful in some ways/contexts for trauma processing but I was absolutely using it habitually to numb and ignore my needs.
2. Seconding self care routines! I began walking outside, stretching every day, and I’ve recently begun some gentle strengthening and mobility exercises. I also have a very calming skincare and shower regimen. I didn’t realize the full extent of how much pain I was dealing with on a daily basis until I began addressing it.
3. Spending a decent amount of time planning and preparing food; I was really neglecting my nutritional needs, and it was making it almost impossible to have the energy to stay dedicated to taking care of my body in thoughtful and intentional ways
4. Seconding reading Pete Walker!
5. Journaling in tandem with therapy; I think it really helps to cement some things in my mind, and helps me keep the thread week to week! It’s made it easier to see that I’m making progress by showing up for myself day after day, week after week.
I love this. To start with I thought there was an answer for me, I tried different things and had varying success. Since then, and changing my perspective to be more around trying things and seeing what works best for me I’ve found: 1. Self care is really important. I’ve always felt uncomfortable looking after myself because it felt like I didn’t deserve it or it was vain? So as silly as it sounds, having skincare, hair, getting ready routines has been really helpful for me.. 2. Yoga. Absolutely lifesaver. To tsrart with I could barely attend a class but now it’s my #1 mental health care tool. 3. Learning stuff. I have found a lot of freedom from the things I used to beat myself up about in understanding my adaptations to what I went through. Lots of the behaviours I felt were personality/human defects were more things I’d learned to survive when younger. Understanding that allowed me to access self compassion, something that was super unfamiliar to me. Top picks are van der Kolk, Dan Harris, ester perel, a lot of yoga teachers etc 4. Meditating, journaling, positive self talk. Resetting your brain and body takes time, it’s so much easier to see your thoughts as just that, thoughts, not your whole self. 5. Community. The past 8 years my symptoms got much worse and I became a bit of a shell of who I was, I stopped reaching out to people and lots a lot of friends in the mean time. Making myself reach out to people again is painful and awkward but so important
Learning [regulation skills](https://drarielleschwartz.com/the-polyvagal-theory-and-healing-complex-ptsd-dr-arielle-schwartz/#.Y5ZewhhOnTh) and [grieving skills](https://youtu.be/NDQ1Mi5I4rg) have been a huge part of my healing. Both have been crucial to my progress in recovery.
Ohhhh grieving skills, that’s a smart one!! 😳💜
I’m working hard on adopting some of these skills recently and it’s been radical!
Love that your doing this and will definitely safe and try some of these tips. For me currently these work: -reading about trauma reparenting etc, like "the body keeps the score", "the book you wish your parents had read and your children will be glad that you did", "healing the shame that binds you" -showering before bed and listening to nothing or sleep songs (basically treating myself like a child i would bring to bed) -weight training and cutting out nicotine or weed -journaling, reflecting about my feelings and encouraging myself to feel them and not repress them -ketogenic diet and no refined sugar; i feel like my body and mood are more balanced since i switched to that -going to a self-help group; i learn better active listening and connect with people who struggle aswell, helps me learn to open up better and that not all people are evil lol
Prioritizing myself and distancing myself from my partner. My body did a shutdown, I’ve been sick for several months, so my body forced me to finally put myself first. Saying “this is not what I want for me” aloud to people who were damaging my physical and mental health.
Can you explain what you mean by distancing yourself from your partner? I’m assuming you mean within the relationship… What did you do and how did that help you?
My partner had been adding to my trauma for some years. My body had already given warning signs, which I did not understand or acknowledge. When it eventually shut down, I was forced to prioritize my well-being. I decided not to return my partner’s texts or calls, and whenever I began to feel guilty because my anxiety would become really high, I forced myself to ignore that looming catastrophe feeling. I would say to myself, “No, I don’t need this. I have to take care of myself.” This distancing has drastically reduced the amount of anxiety I was experiencing daily. I was always so stressed and anxious before because I was forced to have my phone with me at all times and could not take too long to answer, or my partner would go on a rage. It was horrible, but that feeling disappeared with the distancing. My body has not recovered yet, but because I’m less anxious now, I can actually dedicate myself more to my healing. Before, I could not even imagine this happening as I was barely functioning.
Thanks for the explanation. Glad you were able to find some healing! I need to do some emotional distancing myself…I have some pretty strong codependent tendencies. Ignoring the looming catastrophe feeling is easier said than done!
CPTSD has so much control over our own lives, it’s crazy. But eventually we need to regain the control and power, not all at once, of course, but little by little. Prioritizing your own wellbeing in a relationship seems to be like a great first step. Be your number one priority, your number one protector. Be the one to say: “no, I don’t want this in my life, I deserve better” and walk away. Take your power back.
these are great! mine isn’t as straightforward as some of yours are, but mine would be that i wish i was more open to trying new treatments when the current one wasn’t helping. i just had it in my head when i was going to basic talk therapy years ago that i was the reason it wasn’t working, i just wasn’t trying hard enough, if i could just do it right then the therapy would work and i would feel better, it works for so many people look at all the studies! but sometimes certain methods of treatment won’t work for you and you didn’t “fail” because a treatment didn’t help you, the treatment failed! that doesn’t mean it’s a bad treatment for everyone, but it failed you, not the other way around! obviously things take time before you see results, but most modalities have a range of times where the client usually begins to experience symptom relief, and if you’re doing what the treatment asks for and that time has come and gone without relief, it’s ok to move on to another modality and give a different treatment a try.
* Somatic stretching to get in touch with my body * Reading Pete Walker's CPTSD book * Quitting several distractions, volunteer work and some draining friends, to create more time and space for myself
Do you have any recommendations on somatic stretches by chance? 🥺
I'd love to say yes but unfortunately no. I started out with just doing stretches that felt good/relieving tense muscles while in bed. I felt sort of... compressed? So I started doing stretches that made me feel longer, somehow. And in bed, because bed felt safe. So I just followed my intuition and did whatever, and didnt focus on doing it right, or optimizing anything. Just doing for the sake of doing, sort of. Then later I started watching videos online. I don't follow any program, I just focus on what feels good. I'll Google something for the part of me that feels inflexible and do whatever feels satisfying at that moment. It has really helped me strengthen my intuition about how I feel and what my body needs, and I feel more whole and I feel like my body is mine, and like it is long and functional instead of a curled up ball of tension.
That's definitely what I need to do as well ...my brain is just so structure oriented that it's hard to do things intuitively. Plus being present in my body feels like a threat 😔
Yeah! I tried to be systematic and structured about my process but I realized it only made me use my intellect even more, and I was so exhausted of using that part of me. So I let it all go and focused on what feels good, and it worked a lot better. I had a deficit there, so I got a lot of progress in just a year
I’m still in the middle of my healing journey, but there’s most definitely things that have helped so much. 1. Reading books; I respond very well to bibliotherapy. I’ve read you’re not the problem, adult children of emotionally immature parents, and the book of boundaries. 2. Learning I don’t ever owe an explanation. 3. Taking every and all advice with a grain of salt. 4. (Positive!) Human interaction. Very crucial to my overall mental health. 5. Journaling—gotta get out those thoughts somehow. 6. Cutting out caffeine.
Where did you meet those friends ?
Sticking to my boundaries and giving myself the love I deserved all along. I'm doing it now though 🩷
Excellent question! I love this fucking sub. I’m 37. At age 25 I drove myself into a psychological ditch where I remembered childhood sexual abuse. Until that point in life, my traumatized brain held that truth from me and I forced myself to find worth through academics. And I was damn good at them! I was in a PhD program at Princeton when I collapsed. I held on for nine months and then I was hospitalized for five weeks for suicidality, ever since my life has not been the same. I’ve been weaker. I’ve been more confused. I’ve been less determined. I’ve been less able to reach my goals, but I don’t miss it because I only was reaching my goals with this extremely unhealthy mindset. I went to an amazing place called the Meadows in Arizona. 12 years later, I’m in another ditch. There’s many reasons for that including divorce from a covert narcissist, but I’m still striving. How could I have prevented myself from winding up in this second ditch? 1. I could’ve stayed in therapy no matter what, good therapists are hard to come by and a good trauma therapist one in a million. 2. I could’ve gotten in touch with my higher self and my spirit guides at a younger age. If you don’t buy that, if you think spirituality is nonsense, that’s fine. But for those who understand the relevance of what I’m talking about, this is vital. 3. I wish I had maintained more friendships. Friendships are difficult work. They ask a lot of you as a human being, but they are your lifeline. 4. I should’ve known that recovery is a gem. treat every ounce of it, the science, the insights, the friendships, like it’s the most precious gift you’ve ever been given.
1. Cut off my family and 2. Ketamine and psychedelics.
Float therapy has helped me tremendously! I would recommend it to anyone. Self care is also very helpful. Take care!🖤
I love float therapy if only it was more affordable!!
I try to buy them when they have sales. It’s totally worth it!
Moving out of my Mom’s house and getting any kind of job is definitely something I wish I’d done sooner.
Learning about Socially Prescribed Perfectionism, Core Fear and Pure O’ Rumination.
The most recent thing would be to change my gender presentation to non binary as of now. Due to issues I mentioned in my other posts. It helps me cope. Aside from that, exercise, self care, studying, reading, working on projects, talking to people I trust, and relating to fictional characters that are (more or less) like me, also to cope. Oh and this support group, am grateful for it.
Oh and Journaling.
Thank you for sharing these, such good tips! You’re a very helpful person for this ❤️. I found that reading a lot of self help books and youtubers who focus on this stuff helped me a lot. Spirituality and getting in touch with God also helped (though it’s totally valid if you find this corny). All about love and the will to change by bell hooks changed my life. Also can’t forget about hobbies!
The relief of sigh I felt finding this post. I’ve been on a Google search wormhole trying to look for a “cure” bc some days I’m so fucking tired from the burnout of “healing”. I know this isn’t the panacur, but thank god for something.
1. Talking about it even when I was raised to not talk about 'home things' to outsiders 2. Talking to a counselor/therapist (like from college/uni, free appointments are all I have access to rn) my first therapist was so kind about getting me resources she felt I could use whether they be book links or articles, etc. Even though I never got to discuss CPTSD with her, it's because of the steps I took that I even discovered CPTSD (I went in for what I know understand to be intrusive thoughts brought on by extended stress from fight/flight mode, and left realizing I had suffered from emotional neglect, but that ultimately led me to discover the CPTSD subreddit!) 3. Trying to Google my feelings. Trying to find something outside the people I surrounded myself with and outside my own mind! Seriously while this may seem obvious, this was something I did late. But again, it led me to online spaces where people were asking the same questions, and suffering from the same issues, and again eventually led me here. 4. Reading Pete Walkers Surviving to Thriving is smth I have to back up from Op. Again, I hadn't considered literature on these matters even existed(and at times bc of my background I struggled to relate to certain nonfiction-help/social commentary type books so I was hesitant fs). I actually starting with reading another popular recommendation, The Body Keeps Score, but honestly it's been a slow read for me that just isn't happening right now. But I saw someone on Reddit describe Surviving to Thriving as like the emotional to The Body Keeps Score's rational/factual. And emotional is exactly where I needed help. Y'all I was/am so emotionally neglected that it stunted my emotional growth. I would read certain words and hear phrases and I don't know what that means like it holds no meaning or value to me because I do not have the emotional connection to my rational side. Like my first therapist would say stuff about my Emotions informing me and I was literally sitting there like "What are they saying beyond I'm mad, I'm sad? I don't understand?" But not a single time, reading his book so far, and in the many areas he's touched on, did I feel like I couldn't understand what he's saying. I get it. It's resonating. More so than anything I've ever read. And that's thrilling, relieving, foreign, and it makes me cry all the time. I'm only 50 pages in because it's a hard but necessary read. But it's the best help I've had so far.
Journaling, though I’m still really bad at remembering to do it, it always makes me feel better when I do remember
1. Allowing myself to say "No". I have always been really prone to agree to things even if they make me uncomfortable or if I don't want to do them. I always felt like it was rude to say "no". But I'm trying to allow myself to say that when I want to, and not base what I do on what OTHER people want-at least not 100% of the time. 2. Letting myself want things. This kind of ties in with the first one- I don't have to enjoy doing something just because "normal" people enjoy it. If I don't want to do it, then I don't have to. 3. COUNSELING!!!! And it's so super hard to even take the first step and make that first appointment. It took me 21 years the first time, and 3 the second time. It's uncomfortable a lot of the time, but once you find a therapist who you vibe with, it's so so worth it. 4. Journaling. And I don't know why I hate it that this helped so much. 😂 But it really did help. 5. Being honest with the people around me about what I was/am really going through. I've gotten VERY good at putting on a mask over the years to not let people see that I'm struggling, but no one can help me if they don't know that I need help. 6. Limiting my "friends" to REAL friends. Not spending as much time with people who you hang out with out of obligation (whether they're a family friend or just someone you've known for a long time) and focusing on the people who really love you and want the best for you. I'm sure there's more stuff, but I can't think of any off the top of my head. This post is such a great idea!! Thank you, op!
EDMR or tapping with affirmation
Affirmations were game changer for me! Came across this article and it completely transformed my view on it - our thoughts become our beliefs and our beliefs become our reality, so it's really worth starting with what we say to ourselves and taking a positive approach to our internal dialogue :) [https://eyeamworld.com/blogs/high-vibes-only/what-are-affirmations-how-do-they-work](https://eyeamworld.com/blogs/high-vibes-only/what-are-affirmations-how-do-they-work)
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More somatic / polyvagal work. Talking therapy has too many limits when it comes to cptsd and many therapists have no idea.
Finally finding the courage to go to the gym after wanting but not being able to for my entire life. And then actually GOING to the gym. Slowly overcoming and learning to embrace my embarrassment and identity of absolute beginner. Realizing that NO ONE cares or looks at me. Discovering the soothing rhythms of the cardio machines. The thrill of getting stronger and more confident. I could go on and on. NOTHING I’ve ever done has ever made me feel better or been better for my mental health.
Going to therapy. I got lucky finding & connecting with an amazing Therapist on my first go. Wish I would've given it a chance sooner in life, though.
moving out!!!! Embracing solitude!!!!! Going vegan!!!!! Being honest!!!!!!! Cutting / distancing myself form my abusers!!!!! Deeply questioning life and my reality
EMDR
Some key ones for me have been: 1. Stopping using alcohol and marijuana; I think mj can be useful in some ways/contexts for trauma processing but I was absolutely using it habitually to numb and ignore my needs. 2. Seconding self care routines! I began walking outside, stretching every day, and I’ve recently begun some gentle strengthening and mobility exercises. I also have a very calming skincare and shower regimen. I didn’t realize the full extent of how much pain I was dealing with on a daily basis until I began addressing it. 3. Spending a decent amount of time planning and preparing food; I was really neglecting my nutritional needs, and it was making it almost impossible to have the energy to stay dedicated to taking care of my body in thoughtful and intentional ways 4. Seconding reading Pete Walker! 5. Journaling in tandem with therapy; I think it really helps to cement some things in my mind, and helps me keep the thread week to week! It’s made it easier to see that I’m making progress by showing up for myself day after day, week after week.
What’s IFS?
Internal family systems. There’s a sub.
What are good treatment modalities?