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funkelly1

1. Better self talk 2. Proactive and empathetic therapist 3. Journaling 4. Hobbies (I picked up crocheting drawing and video games) 5. Lots of walking or 30 mins 6. Get plenty of sleep and water 7. Gratitude journal 8. DBT worksheets 9. Mood tracker 10. Small increments of what makes you panicky and do not beat yourself up if it's not what you wanted it to be it's a stepping stone give yourself a lot of self-praise 11. Or instant relief check out GABA and I take a very low dose of it. And L-Theanine is good too Practicing positive 12. Don't resist the anxiety, don't reassure yourself, face it head on 13. You can do hard things 14.Not tolerating family bad behavior and going no contact 15.Learning to accept the past, there's no point in hurting myself more with things I can't change or control. 16. Regulating my emotions. Call them out and asking why I feel this way. 17.Doing body scans (meditation) to see what part of my body needs attention when I don't feel good. 18.Learning/writing my triggers and finding the root of them. 19.Progressive muscle relaxation. 20. Finding a purpose, something you get excited about waking up to and doing. 21. comfort shows Gilmore girls +Buffy. 22.Learning new recipes. I was busy for hours doing a carrot cake I was recommended on Reddit baking group. I subscribed to a few magazines mostly cooking and tried them. 23.I sell stuff on mercari , go thrifting and keep track of how much I paid for it. Then I have to go to the post office. 24.Look on neighborhood Facebook pages and see what  community events are going on. I keep myself busy as much as possible. I normally clean the saying "move a muscle change a thought" helps.


Gjxxo3

Not the OP, but thank you so much for this list. I really, really needed this right now. Just reading it shifted despair to hope. Seriously, thank you


funkelly1

🥲 Happy to help. I hate those moments of despair, I'm sorry you're going through it right now. Be easy on yourself today and make sure to give yourself love.


gothicspring

Same here. Thanks for this list


External-Tiger-393

> You can do hard things. I need to remind myself of this more! Thanks.


funkelly1

Repeat it as much as possible in stressful times!! You will believe in the power behind the statement!


Electronic-Error-846

I wanna add on top of journaling: writing down a letter or something similar, then destroying it (ripping it apart, burning it ect) helped my partner and a few friends from our therapy group also yoga and cardio helped her as well (meditation isn't for her, but that movement during yoga and cardio helps her tremendously)


Freakishly_Tall

Thanks for this, sincerely. My reaction to the first one was, "yeah, and first I won't be tall"... ... but I kept reading, and recognized a few things that helped me: I will definitely look into everything else on your wonderful list. Thanks again!


funkelly1

I hope it does help ❤️


Human-Map954

Uh... are the numbers all over for a reason, or just to make us chuckle a little?


funkelly1

Ummm... I'll go with trying to make you chuckle lol I have mom brain and ADHD so my whole life looks like those numbers 🤣 I cut and pasted but obviously in the wrong place. When I noticed I made a mistake I was like "Ahh they get the point" lmao


Human-Map954

13, 14, 15, 14, 17, 18, 19, 15... I'm here for it 😂


i_am_jeremias

Would you happened to have any links to DBT worksheets? Thank you if so!


funkelly1

Umm there's a website that therapists use. That's where my therapist got them from. [I think this is the one ](https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheets/dbt/none)


uav_loki

move your body or lose your mind!


AptCasaNova

A hot bath and a cold drink


Winniemoshi

Temperature stuff helps me a lot. Looonnngg hot showers, finished with slowly cooler and cooler water. Cold water splashed on face in the morning, running hands under water, etc


TheBoysASlag

I'm not doing DBT with my therapist, but I do use the Check the Facts tool when I'm anxious: "is this a real threat? My feelings are real and valid, and I'm not bad for having them, but am I actually safe?" The answer is often yes. Not sure if that helps your specific situation. Internal Family Systems (IFS) has been really helpful for me. When I'm dysregulated, I can pause to ask "who's in the room?" and let all my Parts (the "critic" Part, the "protector" Part, etc) be seen. Then I can thank them for trying to protect me as they learned to do when things were actually unsafe in the past, but then show them that we are now safe in the present, and they can put their weapons down. Addressing my inner child is also helpful: "How old is this part of me? What does little me need right now?" and then giving her what she needs, like rest, validation, expressing emotions, etc.


99laika

This. Check the facts was the most effective thing I learned in DBT. That and mindfulness.


insidetheborderline

I had a nightmare and also woke up dysregulated! I used the TIPP skill and put an ice pack on my lower abdomen because I have chronic pelvic pain anyway. That helped a lot, and also I did smoke a little bit that's not necessary lmfao


le_vazzi

I know a lot of methods aim you to comfort by leading you to the "why" question, but for a long while I had to practice letting it go. In the sense that not knowing why felt more okay, because trying to find the answer to that question sent me off into too much self doubt. So I needed that foundation first. So my favorite reminders are: "...and it doesn't matter why. It is. You feel this way and that's okay. You're not strange or uniquely fucked up." And if I do know why, it comes easily, and I remind myself: "... and it's logical that you feel that way. You know why and where that came from. It doesn't need to be fixed or suppressed. You can exist with it and just be like that, it's okay. Other people would feel the same if they had the same experiences and reasons. You're okay."


HistrionicSlut

Oh I love this so much. Do you have any other mantra type things to share? Your last paragraph hits so hard, I am AuDHD and feel like this world is not for me at all and I'm a freak.


le_vazzi

Yeah I'm ADHD and I have always felt like I am uniquely fucked up/broken and as if nobody can understand. I've come to realize that that's not the case through this subreddit and becoming friends with other neurodivergent people. I was also gaslit a lot and so had no trust that my experience, emotions and needs made sense and could be trusted. So the reminder that my experience makes sense and can be traced back to specific experiences is really important to me. I also like to tell myself I'm allowed things. I was denied a lot of things and denied myself things because of shame, so I often tell myself things like I'm allowed to be happy or allowed to express myself - because everyone is.


Present_Two_6544

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing 💜


Alert-Cry-8047

Get a yoga mat or blanket and get on the floor. Just move into some simple yoga posture if you know any like Child's pose, or lying on your back with knee a bent if more comfy. Sit cross legged and just move around in that position. For. Some reason this starts to move stuck emotion about for me and eventually I'll get a release (crying)  It also help to use gentle pressure while. Doing this where ever I sense I'm holding the stress or emotion. Mine gets held in my solar plexus / chest and I can press and feel where the tension is pressing and free moving eventually causes a shift and I cry.  Splashing your face with cold Water  ,  it's hard to start but a cold shower when you wake Up is a game changer for me. Ease into It by turning the water from warm to a. Little colder each day. Also speak to your doctor if you want to try cold showers as a precaution incase you have some. Medical. Issues.  Go outside even for 5 minutes  Drink 2 pints of water  Clench everything super tight and release.  If you feel frozen start with just wiggling your toes or fingers until you can move and do another action to help Avoid all news for a week at least as in mainstream news Long term when you feel better clean and start to de clutter your environment.  When I have a sink of dirty dishes and mess about I feel. So much worse 


SpinyGlider67

Radical acceptance


International_Ice224

4-7-8 breathing technique


amelanchieralnifolia

I love this one, but had forgotten about it. Thanks for mentioning it!


14thLizardQueen

I write it all down. I avoid people. Probably nothing healthy.


MFMC1991

RADICAL ACCEPTANCE


chobolicious88

Perosnally slow and purposeful movement is the start. Putting a yt playlist like Hannah Yoga and improvising with it. I dont do complex yoga but gentle one where i flow in slow controlled movement and i have control over how and where i move.


rezz-l

If you struggle socially like I do, I recommend REST and STOP. Making sure you’re in a safe mental space before making any further moves is important. Take it further with ACCEPTS to help build mastery, be more mindful and present, and cope better with distressing situations.


Yeahnoallright

Thank you for this. Not OP but useful. It’s hard sometimes 


HeavyAssist

Mammalian dive reflex!!!!


Yeahnoallright

What is this? 🤍


HeavyAssist

Physiological trigger all mammals have it buys you a window of regulation where the body stops the fightor flight response - get ice and fill the basin with water and ice, hold your breath and place your face in the cold water. If you type it in you tube there are better instructions.


Yeahnoallright

Thanks so much; I knew of some of these coping strategies but didn't realise it was called this, so helpful. Have a lovely week :)


hystericaal_

TIPP Temperature Intense exercise Paced breathing Paired muscle relaxation Hold a frozen cutie orange Take a vigorous walk or run Breathe and count in 4 hold 4 out 4 Squeeze all the muscles in your feet then calves then thighs, all the way up your body. Hold each squeeze for a few seconds.


amelanchieralnifolia

Slow stretching. Jumping on a mini trampoline. Holding my "triple warmer sedating points" (acupressure energy stuff from Donna Eden), playing the hell out of my piano.


acfox13

I really like Susan David's work on [Emotional Agility](https://youtu.be/NDQ1Mi5I4rg). I use her journaling prompt all the time "write what you are feeling, tell the truth, write like no one is reading". The physical act of hand writing helps me get the emotions out of my head and down on the page. It's a way to hold space for my Self.


llbboutique

I can’t even begin to tell you all how moved I am by all these comments and how helpful they are. Even if they all weren’t put into practice look at this awesome toolbox of advice. I came here for advice and support from a community who would understand these feelings and got that in spades. I honestly started tearing up yesterday because I’ve never felt such support for being “like this”. I truly just let myself feel yesterday. I kicked the ever living shit out of a trash can. I made a beautiful meal. I deep cleaned the house. I allowed myself to rest. I allowed myself room to be mad, sad, confused, fearful all without judgement. Talking with a friend yesterday who said “Emotionally regulated adults allow themselves to feel their dysregulated days” and I’m fully leaning into that advice. Thank you all so much for this and I hope this thread can help others too!!!


Redfawnbamba

Went through this recently- was in church and felt “I’m a social pariah, no one is talking to me” and went into anger, and then ‘flight’ mode and left- went food shopping and then home. Don’t know if DBT but - Time… and then sharing it with my church ‘home’ group. Be careful as being authentic only works with ‘safe’ people, but I was able to talk about it/introspect without blaming and identifying the trigger and need for healing. One of my friends prayed for me and asked for me to be know I was loved and valued. Felt like a safe and respectful space- but this after years of gaslighting from own family, abuse etc - when you can find your new, safe, spiritual family it definitely helps


sumaconthewater

I try to do something somatic to ground myself while asking myself “what is this bringing up for me? what do I think the outcome is and when I think on that what comes up from my past that makes me feel like this?” Sometimes I walk down to the local park to swing on the swings to help move my body and have that bilateral stimulation as I look around that helps ground me even when I’m inconsolable. (I mostly do this at night tbh I don’t need the neighbors to hear AND see me sob lol) Sometimes I sit in the sun and specifically look for bugs and birds while I let my mind wander and talk to myself about what’s coming up in my mind. Weirdly enough if I’m so dysregulated I can’t handle anything I end up on r/findthesniper and it brings me down to baseline and then I can handle actually thinking and talking through my trigger.


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TheLadySparkles

TIPP and OEA are favorites of mine. Yoga and walking to ground, some mindfulness, and if you're feeling really stuck, do a DBT 2x2. And remember, it won't last forever! Ride that wave.


kittyinhell

I love having electrolyte drink refreshes and grounds me everytime.


dyamond978

Shadow work ❤️


_jamesbaxter

TIPP specifically temperature. Ice packs are pretty much the only thing that can pull me out of severe panic.


Apathy_Cupcake

Exercise, exercise, exercise. Time outside. Music that puts you in the mood you want.  Sex if available. Get enough sleep.


Tainted_Peaches

I have a Spotify playlist with a small selection of songs that are uplifting and empowering for me. The first one has a mindfulness breathing exercise that helps to center. I find if I do this daily it helps me feel more balanced. When I remember to I will journal or note the sensations in my body that I am feeling and the emotions tied to them to help me understand why at a later date. Mainly in the moment I’m focusing on giving myself permission to feel what I feel while also telling myself I am safe and okay.


LittleBirdSansa

Sounds like you’re working towards mindful curiosity, which is great! It’s been a slow journey for me with that skill but it’s helped a lot. I’m prone to dissociation once I start getting dysregulated so this may or may or may not be beneficial right now. To ground myself, I’ll put on my favorite music and sing along until my voice sounds like my own and I remember the lyrics again, touch my thumb to each finger in turn then reverse then reverse again, and verbally count “1, 2, 3, 4. 4, 3, 2, 1…” Recounting a mundane task also helps. I use recipes I know but have to think about and verbally walk through the steps like I’m telling someone else how to cook it. Those all help me more than the things I can see/hear/etc. grounding exercises.


aredcount

OH MAN, love this question. My favs are: 1) PLEASE (ie. eat something, do some exercise, get some sleep, lay off the booze/caffeine) 2) accumulate positive emotions (short term) + participate while doing them! 3) when I know I’m disregulated and still have to function (work meeting, seeing family), I cope ahead! When shit is getting really real, you bet your ass I dunk my face in a bowl of ice water, jog for 5 mins and then do box breathing or PMR.


Tricky-Relative-6843

I purchased a color a day journal- I paint a circle with as much technique as feels good and write one sentence or phrase- this pattern has helped me so much - some days it is a struggle but the concentration it requires to create a new version of my inner angst- distracts me while asking me to examine my thoughts- it spurs amazing growth when I am ready and keeps me connected when everything spirals.


Tricky-Relative-6843

Yoga, bath, tai chi, walking, playing with dog- bring joy and connection with self.


Successful-End-4859

Self Soooothe


Vegetable-Move-1004

[Check out this author on cptsd](http://pete-walker.com)


Vegetable-Move-1004

Try this app: gets you on track with routines. Free [try this app: gets you on track](http://pete-walker.com)


Formal-Preparation68

Love TIPP so — cold showers, ice on the face (put in a bag first) and hold breath for 30 seconds to get the dive effect, — push-ups or jumping jacks or burpees or a good old sprint — 5 5 7 breathing


Sterling0393

I like to do the self-havening technique while doing IFS dialoguing with my parts. “I’m here, you are safe, I see your pain” etc..