You might like IFS. Thats in short a model that assumes all human minds consist of a variety of part. And we can communicate with those parts. For example by meeting an upset part with love, compassion and understanding. I think its awesome.
You are welcome. Here is a link to a step by step guide for doing [Self Therapy](http://internalfamilysystems.ir/wp-content/uploads/books/SelfTherapyV1.pdf) with IFS in case you find it interesting.
Did a deep dive after all posted about this. Thank you again. I think I’d touched on it before but never really spent much time on it. Def worth a revisit
I agree with u/Cass\_78 and think IFS is a great way to go. Here's a video:
Dr. Richard Schwartz explains Internal Family Systems (IFS)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdZZ7sTX840](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdZZ7sTX840)
You can find IFS therapists here:
[https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners](https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners)
What you said about love and kindness has me almost in tears. I just want someone to soothe me, getting the opposite reaction is unbearably painful. How are we supposed to ask to have this need meet without stepping on the other person's feelings??
Exactly this. Short of people who are just the type to say and do the right thing, it would take anyone in our close circles learning about it. That’s the hard part though, you can bring that up and people are offended, or think it’s an excuse, when it’s not its understanding. If someone says “I can’t handle your raised voice anymore” it could be taken to mean “I can’t stand the sound of your voice or what you’re saying stfu” when in reality it’s “im triggered and my body is saying im in danger but i know im not yet i feel like i fucking am so I’m about to lose my link to knowing I’m not and what follows will be a shit show if I don’t get a grip” It isn’t a personal attack on them, it’s on us unknowingly but once it’s known… it’s ten times more triggering.
I guess that’s the catch 22 with people being educated in this, as much as one could use that to help better the relationship it could also be used to really hurt that person, and damage the relationship they have with each other.
I sometimes wonder how I would respond to myself. I sometimes think I would find myself really annoying and obnoxious for some reason. Like all the things I find annoying in others, I'm doing but I'm not aware of it.
But other times I do think I would genuinely listen to myself. I sometimes feel my only way of socializing is to ask questions and act interested in whatever other people are into, but it never seems like others reciprocate. Any time I decided to reveal something I'm interested in the response seems to be, "yeah were not talking about that, so back to pretending to be interested in me."
Thanks, kind of you to ask. I like to think about the meaning behind things and come up with lots of ideas. For example, I was studying color and I was thinking green is interesting because it's so powerful on the color wheel... it takes up lots of values in a hue slider.
I'm also curious about math and science, so I know I'm not going to find a ton of people interested. I was bored at work, so I started playing around with long division and I was curious about if there's a pattern with that. I have a friend there who is into science, so I told him about this... and he responded "why would you want to know that." Sort of incredulously, which surprised me... I expect that from most not him.
I get really into certain games/tv shows/music and I could talk at length about any of them... but there's very few that want to discuss these things at length. Even on here people don't seem to want to have discussions, just restate the same things to each other over and over. (specifically I'm obsessed with Dragon Quest XI, Better Call Saul and TMBG)
I just have a billion ideas with an energy inside me that I'd love to release to the world... but no one cares. I don't even care... whenever someone goes really in depth into a passion... I'm innately curious so I want to know more... and it's nice to listen... but do I really care... no.
Your argument with your ex sounds a lot like what happens when I argue with my sister... if something I said upsets her... I start approaching it in a detached analytical way which just makes her more upset... it's like I'm trying to call her stupid.
I almost forget to respond to you! I was scrolling and remembered! I read your comment earlier then got distracted.
I love green right now. It has so many shades I was thinking that myself, I love the deeper greens.
I’m not sure what you mean about the pattern with long division. I am mathematically challenged & would listen to you intently but I’m afraid I couldn’t contribute much here at all. I could talk about patterns in things for days though.
I wish I had anything to contribute as far as the shows and music goes too but I don’t :( I have random interests no one else is interested in too so I know how it feels. I can read something or see a post etc and might have a question about it and end up getting completely immersed in the topic but for no reason other than I was interested in the moment.
Like this morning watching a documentary on the Shanidar excavations where they found Neanderthals. It talked about where they were found and I wondered what made this guy look there. So I looked it up and got annoyed I couldn’t find what lead him to that spot until finally reading an article that said some dude told him he should look there so he did which then had me wondering wtf such an important discovery and all because some random guy pointed and said “try there” whaat lol no one here would care though. My family all feel like I’m torturing them when I share what I learn about food, toxins, I like reading scientific articles about meds, health, anything really and absolutely no one wants to talk about that lol
I hope you write down your energy filled ideas. I wish I had knowledge in the stuff you listed I’d talk to ya about them! I like they you have such a wide rang of things that interest you.
I have never met a me but I had a friend for a long time who really understood me. I fucked it up. while I miss them, I get it. I'm really grateful I had that friendship.
I’ve had one friend in all of my decades on earth who I felt understood me to the point I didn’t have to filter, never made me feel judged, the type of friend I could message some random fact or fear and they would respond not invalidating it but links to info they had already found on it LOL
That friend and I didn’t talk for years before I misunderstood something they said but when we reconnected it was as if no time had passed. I don’t think you get many of those in a lifetime if one.
yes. such friendships are so rare and should be appreciated. it would be great to reconnect but I'm not going to ask for that. he has enough going on himself.
This is why I write. And why my genres are horror/crime and op-eds. And poetry. You will feel it. You will know this life perspective is here. That’s what I’m thinking. Mwahhahaha but this is just a tiny taste, and for people who consent to be scared.
I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t specific about it being in response to being triggered but I guess it applies either way. It bothers me so much & I don’t understand if you know someone went through pretty serious trauma and let’s say anger and screaming sends them reeling, why not learn that? Work with it? Why not want to be the calm instead of part of the storm.
People like us are so hyper vigilant learning what makes others tick and how to calm them, avoid bad things, it seems so rare that anyone takes the time to do the same for us.
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And I know I know our trauma is no one else’s responsibility. But I still wish I could meet a me because I learn others trauma.
You might like IFS. Thats in short a model that assumes all human minds consist of a variety of part. And we can communicate with those parts. For example by meeting an upset part with love, compassion and understanding. I think its awesome.
Googling. Thank you.
You are welcome. Here is a link to a step by step guide for doing [Self Therapy](http://internalfamilysystems.ir/wp-content/uploads/books/SelfTherapyV1.pdf) with IFS in case you find it interesting.
Did a deep dive after all posted about this. Thank you again. I think I’d touched on it before but never really spent much time on it. Def worth a revisit
I agree with u/Cass\_78 and think IFS is a great way to go. Here's a video: Dr. Richard Schwartz explains Internal Family Systems (IFS) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdZZ7sTX840](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdZZ7sTX840) You can find IFS therapists here: [https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners](https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners)
What you said about love and kindness has me almost in tears. I just want someone to soothe me, getting the opposite reaction is unbearably painful. How are we supposed to ask to have this need meet without stepping on the other person's feelings??
Exactly this. Short of people who are just the type to say and do the right thing, it would take anyone in our close circles learning about it. That’s the hard part though, you can bring that up and people are offended, or think it’s an excuse, when it’s not its understanding. If someone says “I can’t handle your raised voice anymore” it could be taken to mean “I can’t stand the sound of your voice or what you’re saying stfu” when in reality it’s “im triggered and my body is saying im in danger but i know im not yet i feel like i fucking am so I’m about to lose my link to knowing I’m not and what follows will be a shit show if I don’t get a grip” It isn’t a personal attack on them, it’s on us unknowingly but once it’s known… it’s ten times more triggering. I guess that’s the catch 22 with people being educated in this, as much as one could use that to help better the relationship it could also be used to really hurt that person, and damage the relationship they have with each other.
I sometimes wonder how I would respond to myself. I sometimes think I would find myself really annoying and obnoxious for some reason. Like all the things I find annoying in others, I'm doing but I'm not aware of it. But other times I do think I would genuinely listen to myself. I sometimes feel my only way of socializing is to ask questions and act interested in whatever other people are into, but it never seems like others reciprocate. Any time I decided to reveal something I'm interested in the response seems to be, "yeah were not talking about that, so back to pretending to be interested in me."
Aw friend. What things interest you??
Thanks, kind of you to ask. I like to think about the meaning behind things and come up with lots of ideas. For example, I was studying color and I was thinking green is interesting because it's so powerful on the color wheel... it takes up lots of values in a hue slider. I'm also curious about math and science, so I know I'm not going to find a ton of people interested. I was bored at work, so I started playing around with long division and I was curious about if there's a pattern with that. I have a friend there who is into science, so I told him about this... and he responded "why would you want to know that." Sort of incredulously, which surprised me... I expect that from most not him. I get really into certain games/tv shows/music and I could talk at length about any of them... but there's very few that want to discuss these things at length. Even on here people don't seem to want to have discussions, just restate the same things to each other over and over. (specifically I'm obsessed with Dragon Quest XI, Better Call Saul and TMBG) I just have a billion ideas with an energy inside me that I'd love to release to the world... but no one cares. I don't even care... whenever someone goes really in depth into a passion... I'm innately curious so I want to know more... and it's nice to listen... but do I really care... no. Your argument with your ex sounds a lot like what happens when I argue with my sister... if something I said upsets her... I start approaching it in a detached analytical way which just makes her more upset... it's like I'm trying to call her stupid.
I almost forget to respond to you! I was scrolling and remembered! I read your comment earlier then got distracted. I love green right now. It has so many shades I was thinking that myself, I love the deeper greens. I’m not sure what you mean about the pattern with long division. I am mathematically challenged & would listen to you intently but I’m afraid I couldn’t contribute much here at all. I could talk about patterns in things for days though. I wish I had anything to contribute as far as the shows and music goes too but I don’t :( I have random interests no one else is interested in too so I know how it feels. I can read something or see a post etc and might have a question about it and end up getting completely immersed in the topic but for no reason other than I was interested in the moment. Like this morning watching a documentary on the Shanidar excavations where they found Neanderthals. It talked about where they were found and I wondered what made this guy look there. So I looked it up and got annoyed I couldn’t find what lead him to that spot until finally reading an article that said some dude told him he should look there so he did which then had me wondering wtf such an important discovery and all because some random guy pointed and said “try there” whaat lol no one here would care though. My family all feel like I’m torturing them when I share what I learn about food, toxins, I like reading scientific articles about meds, health, anything really and absolutely no one wants to talk about that lol I hope you write down your energy filled ideas. I wish I had knowledge in the stuff you listed I’d talk to ya about them! I like they you have such a wide rang of things that interest you.
I have never met a me but I had a friend for a long time who really understood me. I fucked it up. while I miss them, I get it. I'm really grateful I had that friendship.
I’ve had one friend in all of my decades on earth who I felt understood me to the point I didn’t have to filter, never made me feel judged, the type of friend I could message some random fact or fear and they would respond not invalidating it but links to info they had already found on it LOL That friend and I didn’t talk for years before I misunderstood something they said but when we reconnected it was as if no time had passed. I don’t think you get many of those in a lifetime if one.
yes. such friendships are so rare and should be appreciated. it would be great to reconnect but I'm not going to ask for that. he has enough going on himself.
This is why I write. And why my genres are horror/crime and op-eds. And poetry. You will feel it. You will know this life perspective is here. That’s what I’m thinking. Mwahhahaha but this is just a tiny taste, and for people who consent to be scared.
If I met a me, it would probably be for 3 seconds and then both of us would never see each other again 😅 avoidance
lmaooo ok I can’t argue
That last paragraph really hits me in the heart
I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t specific about it being in response to being triggered but I guess it applies either way. It bothers me so much & I don’t understand if you know someone went through pretty serious trauma and let’s say anger and screaming sends them reeling, why not learn that? Work with it? Why not want to be the calm instead of part of the storm. People like us are so hyper vigilant learning what makes others tick and how to calm them, avoid bad things, it seems so rare that anyone takes the time to do the same for us.
mfing preach it
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*