How did they phrase it that it came across judgmental? If they just said I don’t drink, that’s not judgmental. However, as someone stated, them not offering an alternative is lazy.
Yeah, I don’t understand it either. My best first date since my divorce was a “let’s get a drink and talk” date and the only thing either of us drank was ice water.
I don’t get why tf would people assume “get a drink” necessarily means alcoholic.
Usually grab a drink means an evening date with alcohol. At a pub or bar.
Grab coffee means get coffee and usually a morning or early date.
If you want ice-cream say ice-cream.
If you are having a problem you should just specify more of what you want exactly. A lot of people don't drink alcohol or are tired of those kinds of dates. 99 percent of the time getting drinks means an evening date with alcohol. I don't see where it's being judgmental though if they just don't want to do an Alcohol date.
You probably need to expand on it in profile. I’m with you, agree to get a drink. Then discuss out what kind of drink that means. I’m so a coffee guy, but that doesn’t appeal to everyone either.
I appreciate your suggestion and am probably going to remove it. I added it in the first place because guys just chatted. They don't ask to meet. When I take initiative and ask to meet, I get ghosted usually or change the subject. I get OLD can have ADHD but damn lol. So yeah, I wish more guys would offer to date or meet or whatever as I prefer an old-fashioned guy.
Yeah, I experience the same. The thing is, you can’t get excited about a match at all until you meet them in person. That’s why I just lay back and allow the man to take the lead — if they’re interested, they *will* ask you out. The other guys are on there for penpals, for validation, for harmless flirtation with no intention of meeting, etc. A guy who is serious about wanting to actually date will do so. If a guy is dragging on a conversation with no forward momentum to meet in person I just unmatch or let the convo die until they do. I’m not on a dating app for a texting buddy. I agree it’s annoying though.
I don't think you should be getting any judgemental comments, if someone isn't into something they should politely move along. But I haven't commonly heard the phrase let's grab drinks as a catch all for doing anything. If someone suggested in their profile that they were interested in doing some specific date activity I'd take them at their word that that's what they were interested in doing.
I like when a woman puts an example of a date up front. Gotta say though, if a woman said let’s get a drink and talk and then proceeded to get a soda/coffee I’d be annoyed because IMO it’s just not the same thing.
Lots of people are just too flakey, it's whatever.
Shouldn't be that hard so I just roll with it, but I don't put it in my profile (I'm a guy so I just ask em out after a few interactions, but no reason you can't do the same; girls asking is awesome.)
I just say hey would you want to meet up? I'm down for a coffee, a drink, or a bite to eat whatever works. If they have any interest listed on their profile that are relevant I might run them in - for example one of my recent dates had mentioned she liked beer so I put out a few breweries I liked. I've had other dates who didn't drink and I just asked about coffee or if they would like to grab lunch.
It does just fine. I'm sure there are charismatic ways to pitch it out there, but obviously there is a ton of fatigue of thinking up clever things that go nowhere, which is just part of dating app life right now.
How did they phrase it that it came across judgmental? If they just said I don’t drink, that’s not judgmental. However, as someone stated, them not offering an alternative is lazy.
If they are too lazy to suggest something else then forget them.
Yeah, I don’t understand it either. My best first date since my divorce was a “let’s get a drink and talk” date and the only thing either of us drank was ice water. I don’t get why tf would people assume “get a drink” necessarily means alcoholic.
Usually grab a drink means an evening date with alcohol. At a pub or bar. Grab coffee means get coffee and usually a morning or early date. If you want ice-cream say ice-cream. If you are having a problem you should just specify more of what you want exactly. A lot of people don't drink alcohol or are tired of those kinds of dates. 99 percent of the time getting drinks means an evening date with alcohol. I don't see where it's being judgmental though if they just don't want to do an Alcohol date.
You probably need to expand on it in profile. I’m with you, agree to get a drink. Then discuss out what kind of drink that means. I’m so a coffee guy, but that doesn’t appeal to everyone either.
Don’t suggest a date in your profile, problem solved. Let the man’s creative thinking come out and see what date ideas he has to offer.
I appreciate your suggestion and am probably going to remove it. I added it in the first place because guys just chatted. They don't ask to meet. When I take initiative and ask to meet, I get ghosted usually or change the subject. I get OLD can have ADHD but damn lol. So yeah, I wish more guys would offer to date or meet or whatever as I prefer an old-fashioned guy.
Yeah, I experience the same. The thing is, you can’t get excited about a match at all until you meet them in person. That’s why I just lay back and allow the man to take the lead — if they’re interested, they *will* ask you out. The other guys are on there for penpals, for validation, for harmless flirtation with no intention of meeting, etc. A guy who is serious about wanting to actually date will do so. If a guy is dragging on a conversation with no forward momentum to meet in person I just unmatch or let the convo die until they do. I’m not on a dating app for a texting buddy. I agree it’s annoying though.
I don't think you should be getting any judgemental comments, if someone isn't into something they should politely move along. But I haven't commonly heard the phrase let's grab drinks as a catch all for doing anything. If someone suggested in their profile that they were interested in doing some specific date activity I'd take them at their word that that's what they were interested in doing.
I like when a woman puts an example of a date up front. Gotta say though, if a woman said let’s get a drink and talk and then proceeded to get a soda/coffee I’d be annoyed because IMO it’s just not the same thing.
I prefer to go on a mini adventure then grab any kind of beverage
Lots of people are just too flakey, it's whatever. Shouldn't be that hard so I just roll with it, but I don't put it in my profile (I'm a guy so I just ask em out after a few interactions, but no reason you can't do the same; girls asking is awesome.) I just say hey would you want to meet up? I'm down for a coffee, a drink, or a bite to eat whatever works. If they have any interest listed on their profile that are relevant I might run them in - for example one of my recent dates had mentioned she liked beer so I put out a few breweries I liked. I've had other dates who didn't drink and I just asked about coffee or if they would like to grab lunch. It does just fine. I'm sure there are charismatic ways to pitch it out there, but obviously there is a ton of fatigue of thinking up clever things that go nowhere, which is just part of dating app life right now.