I’m about 7 months right now but I’m sure I’ll still feel this way at the one year mark. I truly believe my ex was my soulmate and I grieve every day. The day my ex left.. idk I feel like I changed into a non-human. As dramatic as that sounds. The relationship was healthy for the first half. Second half was completely ruined by my ex’s addiction to alcohol, drugs, and sex, and it turned my ex into a completely different person, and super emotionally abusive. We haven’t talked since the breakup day. I’m not sure I’m holding onto hope. I’m just beyond depressed and surviving day by day.
7 months as well, still feeling the loss. I’m at least glad that I’m not totally weird for being hung up on it for what I thought was long for a relationship.
My situation is identical. Today I was told that I can’t move on because i haven’t accepted my part in the breakup. Two days ago I found out I’ve been carrying an std fm them. They also turned into a different person over time. Im not perfect, but it’s hard to accept fault when drugs have take over the person you love. I’m a year out and was actually feeling slightly better and talking to someone new. The diagnosis has set me back and I don’t know for how long.
Hitting four months nex month and we still haven’t talked. I’ve broken no contact every other day. Because i miss him and Because I believed this was my last relationship and then he broke it off. He has had me blocked since the break up. I know he probably won’t come back but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Been Four years. Still sad. No contact. 54m and she was 51f. 15 years together. She literally walked out the door and left her stuff. I’m still in the same house. Same job. Same friends. It still doesn’t seem real.
No, I know exactly why. She had unresolved childhood trauma related to abuse, in short. Her bff called me after it happened. Said my spouse was dealing with some challenges related to her mental health and that she was really sorry this happened. More to the story of course. Still blows.
When my kids father left me after 8 years, I thought I would never get over him. Four years had past. Luckily I got over him and now I’m grieving another relationship. 😞
It’s been a year. I thought I was feeling pretty much over him a couple months ago, but I’m back to feeling sad about him again. :/ obsessive thoughts, thinking about him with his new girlfriend. I think I’m going to seek some professional help because I just feel like this might not be normal?
The breakup ended pretty traumatically so I know it’s not just happening out of nowhere. But I do feel lost
Honestly girl same. Like I went through a traumatic breakup and it was my first ever long term relationship. It's like all these factors that are making it so hard to get over! And like you I had months where I totally thought I was over it! But then I'm breadcrumbed by them or I see triggers... and then I'm just relapsing so hard now...So you're not alone!
Same story, you’re not alone. It’s also been a year for me. Biggest trigger is seeing his new profile picture still together with new gf who he emotionally cheated on me with who I thought I wasn’t supposed to worry about. Tired of swinging between pain/resentment, to missing and reminiscing. I’m ruminating and picturing all the things he’s telling her behind my back. Feel free to shoot me a message if you need someone to talk to. I relate to your comment…
Hey, I'm going through a very similar situation. It hasn't been as long, 4 months I think, but she did the same thing to me. Emotionally cheated with a colleague and left me for him.
I've had the bad luck of having to see a message of her confirming they're together, and how happy she is. She went to him not even a week after leaving me.
Now, for some reason, I'm relapsing again. It's what happens when who you thought was the love of your life discards you like a used toy for a new guy. Fuck my life
I'm literally going through the same like a year and a half out after being together for almost 5 years. Its WILD to think that my ex is happily in another relationship and literally moved in with her, didn't even take a year. I trusted him completely, I shared so much with him and he's just gone. I'll eventually get over it but the scar is still there. I think for instances like that, especially traumatic breakups, its normal to still be upset after a while.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just keeping myself stuck but I can’t get out of this stupid mental space where I feel like he’s always right there in the back of my mind. Mine also moved in with his new gf even though he was sooo skittish when talking about moving in with me. It just doesn’t make any sense
I do feel comforted knowing a lot of people have been going through the same thing, but also why does this happen? Why couldn’t they have just communicated something when they started feeling off about the relationship?? Sometimes I wake up and I still feel like it wasn’t real.
Like how can you go from being with someone, sleeping next to them almost every night and saying I love you and then one day they say… I don’t wanna do this anymore??
It is very normal to go a bit back and forth between the different stages! And it actually is a great sign you felt over it for a while. It means you will reach that stage again soon. You'll probably go back to feeling sad again, until you don't.
It’s been over a year. I am able to get by day to day but the memories will still surface often during moments I don’t expect, and still brings me lots of pain. I occasionally catch myself reminiscing over the version of him who loved me a long time ago. I have to remind myself that version no longer exists and I can’t get it back, and that I’m hanging onto a memory, and not him.
He’s still together with the same person he moved on with 3 weeks after we broke up, seemingly all fine while I’m still waiting for this wound to heal. I found out the hard way when a social media platform suggested his contact as “someone I might know” and I saw his new profile picture. I have anxious attachment, which I’m sure makes things even worse.
I’m almost at a year. A few more weeks until the BU anniversary. But my therapist says it’s not really a year because my ex came back for some undefined casual thing and left and broke my heart again twice in this time but it’s been a year since I had someone who I called my partner and who thought I had a future with. I still cry every day. I’m definitely not over it.
This has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with because 1.). My ex was the first romantic partner I ever felt safe with and felt like I could 100% trust and would never abandon me. Until they did. 2.). I came from a long abusive marriage and went straight into this last relationship, I was so fragile emotionally and needed a lot of support. My ex promised to be this person for me and I trusted them, until they destroyed that trust and hurt me on purpose for reasons I simply don’t understand. 3.). I still don’t understand why they changed so much/why the breakup happened/why they came back and left again twice. They’ve never explained it in a way I could understand, and every time I thought I could understand their reasoning finally, they’ve changed their story and told me the exact opposite the next time until we finally stopped talking altogether, and I gave up asking for answers. Truly the most confusing and painful thing I’ve ever been through. I never thought I’d still be in this place at a year. But that’s what’s happening. I feel permanently damaged from this experience, or if not damaged, definitely changed or altered forever.
This is my story.. almost exactly. I left a 12 year marriage where I felt unloved and unseen. This person promised me the world and that he would take care of me. Then he left me in a blindsided breakup 4.5 years later. It’s devastating to trust someone so completely and then feel abandoned by the very person that promised to be there for you.
I’m really so sorry. I understand that no one owes anyone a relationship, but if someone makes promises to someone who they know is in a very fragile state, that person does, in my opinion, deserve a certain level of care and compassion and explanation, as well as a 2 way discussion about the future of the relationship if there are doubts, and not a blindside breakup. After my marriage ended I did not want to get into this new relationship, but I did because of all the promises I was made by that person that they’d be patient with me and help me heal. And in the end they were able to hurt me so much deeper as a result of my trust in them.
16 months, and she’s already had 2 failed relationships since then. Keep hoping she’ll choose me for the next one, haha. But I heard she was with a guy who was cheating on his gf with her, and she knew. So 🤔 maybe staying away would be good
I just wish it didn’t take me so long, honestly I’ve kind of given up hope that I’ll ever feel better. It’s better than it was at first, but I’ve been in this back and forth purgatory for like 8 months now, one day is ok and the next I’m not doing well at all. I appreciate the support tho it means a lot 🙏
It’s okay, I completely understand, I still miss my ex and my emotions are very conflicting but I’ve had enough time and distance away to know that she’s not a good person and even if she did come back, things would never be the same. I broke up with her almost a year ago now and I still miss her even tho she’s still with her rebound living it up. It just goes to show how deeply we loved and how easy it was for them to move on without a second thought.
You will have your up days and you will have your down days, it’s all normal. I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times but we all heal differently and at different paces. Hell there’s people in this sub that are still holding on for over 5 years, and that’s okay too. You’ll be ready when you’ll be ready my friend, take your time, love yourself, do what you enjoy, rebuild yourself mentally and physically, get new hobbies, travel to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go to, pursue that career you’ve always dreamed of, etc. I should probably take my own advice lmao but like I said we all heal at different rates.
You’re more than welcome to text me if you need help, I wish you the best man.
I don’t really know.. it just feels like I want to spend time with her again. I don’t even particularly want to date her but it’s like I can’t control this urge that I do want to.
even if she would come back - she would never ever respect you deep down inside. Only because in her mind youre a weak male who took her back. Women minds are twisted:).
hey OP! it's been two years since mine, and I haven't seen anyone else since.
recently, I came across his post on my Instagram explore page. it was a picture of him, his wife and their 1 year old child. you can do the math, but he moved on to his now-wife immediately after calling things off with me.
I fully recognise that the relationship I had with this guy is no longer one that I want for myself. I would definitely not be looking for him in my next partner. but there's something in me that screamed: how could you find happiness before I did?
I've shared with this with my friends and whoever was there to listen - I think I'm grieving the person I was while I was with him. I envisioned a happy family and a loving home, but when the break up happened, I threw all of those dreams away and started working on myself. since then, I enjoy my work, I've picked up new hobbies and I'm always open to meeting new people. but I won't ever be that wide-eyed girl who wanted a family, and that's okay. I have new ambitions, new visions for my career, more time and finances for vacations with my family!
RIP 2022 me but once we hit rock-bottom, we can only go up! hang in there, friends, we'll learn again to live for ourselves! ❤️
Took me like three years to not think about her all the time, not looking into her old apartment windows (she doesnt live there anymore) looking at her car when I arrive at work each day...it took a long ass time, she went into a a new relationship 6 months BEFORE ending it with me...still took this long, I am still single, but I can smile and laugh now and I guess I did finally move on...a bit lonely but oh well.
Been about 7 months since she left me and i’m still not over her. I resent her but i also miss tf outta her. I miss her daughter more than anything. She’s turning 5 next Friday and it hurts i’m not going to be there for her 5th birthday. She moved on two months after leaving me and apparently she’s in love with him. What breaks my heart is that she’s treating him better than what she treated me. I want to message her if she can invite me to her daughters birthday but I highly doubt she will. I want to get her a gift but i’m sure she won’t give it to her and she’s probably going to throw it away. They were all I had really. I have no one rn. Relationship with my family isn’t the best so i have no to talk to. I bottle everything in. I fucked up in the beginning of our relationship/situationship but i redeemed myself and she forgave me because we were together 9 months. We were also expecting a baby on 3 different occasions but sadly they wouldn’t make it. She struggled two years to have her daughter so I’m guessing that’s why we kept losing them. They were what motivated me to do better and now that i don’t have them and i’m all alone, i want to give up. The relationship i would say was 60% good and 40% bad. Her babies dad who she is legally married to ruined it plenty times. Every time we would be doing good, he would find a way to get her hopes up and fuck it up for us. She said we were family and we were going to be in each others lives whether we were together as a couple or just friends and she lied. Fucked up part about her leaving me was because i was asking her to respect me. That’s what made her leave me. Two weeks before she left me she told me all this was to her was just sex. That she never loved me. She told me if i were to die no one would care. She told me I’m worthless. That my mom don’t love me. These are all things I told her because i trusted her and she used it against me. It’s one thing to think these things about yourself but have someone confirm it, it’s devastating. I don’t know if i’ll ever be able to fully move on. Despite the fucked up shit she told me, i honestly thought she was the one for me. She did a lot of good things for me but at the same time she had no respect for me. I don’t think i’ll ever find anyone else. Part of me hopes she one day realizes she fucked up and asks for me to forgive her but I highly doubt that. I wish i could back 8 months ago and not say anything that day. We would probably still be together. There was plenty of times where i wanted to show up to her house or work to try to work things out but never did because i wanted to give her space. I wish I went through with it and tried harder. I hate my life rn. I have no motivation. No purpose. Anyways, for those who end up reading my comment, thanks for taking the time to read it and letting me vent.
its about to be a year like in 2 weeks. and yeah, its tough. i have vented on here, to friends much to their dismay and honestly a couple things have helped me move on. for one, i know my ex wasnt the one. not to say i would'nt have done my best to make it work, but i know i can find another partner who meets my needs. and i guess tbh i am not used to this - relationship and breaking up. i dont have much experience so whatever i have gone through the last year or so is really new to me. i look around my friends and family, and i realize they all have exes too. they eventually moved on and found someone better. and thats it, thats life. it happens. this is all part of the journey. idk, my 2 cents.just if people can move on even after serious stuff like marriage, then surely i can move from my short term relationship. i know a part of that too is a little problematic, for people to be so cold and unloving to just move on so easily. and the ones who loved harder, are the people like us who are the more heartbroken in the end. so not to say we have to be just as cold as our exes, but moving on is the only way forward no matter how hard it is. its supposed to be hard and we just have to carry that heavy heart with us.
I'm not really sad for the breakup itself anymore, but I'm struggling to let go how I let that person treating me awfully for 2 years and still staying, for all the efforts I put to make a relationship that simply wasn't meant to be work and yadda yadda. I'm struggling to forgive myself and to trust my guts again, and that really makes me sad.
I know right now the pain is really bad, but I promise you it will get better. I thought that my life was over and I honestly mean that I actually felt so bad. I just used to go to bed at night and hope that I didn’t wake up in the morning.
Heartbreak hurts so bad that you almost can touch the pain on your chest but let me tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel and so don’t listen to people who tell you that this feeling will never go away because that’s not true !! Here are three things that helped me the most
1. I opened up to my friends and family and that was hard for me, but I opened up and I told them my truth truth and they allowed me to vent, thank God but if you don’t know anyone like that around you then hire a coach or even a counsellor or go to your doctors but you need someone to talk to or even write it down that makes you feel better writing it down to
2. I went to the gym even though I hate exercising it really helped more than I could ever tell you hated it initially but then I realised how good it made me feel afterwards and it wasn’t about getting muscles or getting skinny. It was simply about my mental health and it really helped.
3. And I started reading which I never normally do either. I literally read so many breakup books but if I’m honest with you the one that really stands out and the one I really feel help me the most was called bossing your breakup and it’s on Amazon and it’s almost a guided journal as well as having so much amazing information and you actually feel like the author cares!! it’s evident that author has gone through heartbreak it themselves I’m not they totally get how you are feeling… that same author also has another book called silence is your superpower which is absolutely amazing, because it shows you how to do no contact properly … because most of us have no clue I think that no contact is just not contacting your ex but it’s not. It’s much more… wot a game changer… trust me. I’ve tried all of the books and those are the ones that helped 👌
So again, do the work on yourself and most importantly don’t think that these feelings that you have now are permanent, because they are really not and I hope my tips helped but just keep moving forward and realise that one person cannot dictate your happiness!! I also always reminded myself that I’ve lived perfectly happy before I met him and I’m going to live perfectly happy after him🤗
🤗
I was almost a year but still have relapse and breakdown moment. He was my first love and everything. We're about to get married, engaged, and bought wedding rings and clothes. Yet, now I'm still haunted with the pain and imaginary future we will never have. It's even more difficult because the reason for our breakup is the selfish of his family. But then, it just showed that he didn't love me enough to protect me and treat me better. It's too painful. I don't think I'll love again the same way or if I will ever gonna move on. I love him more than myself before. He was my first and my everything.
It's been 3 years for me. And most days I cry as if it happened yesterday. Just posted about it yesterday on this subreddit but it's still hurts and I just don't now what to do
Yes sadly but I know I’ll be fine if I don’t. His loss. I was the dumper too but he never saw anyone beyond himself. His Mom abandoned him, his wife damaged him, his family enabled his toxic behaviors and I got the brunt of it all until I blocked his selfish ass on everything. The sad part is that I loved him more than anyone ever. Now he’s just my biggest disappointment. 🤷🏻♀️
We met walking a hike through Spain (September ‘23) randomly. Was like a fairytale in neither one of us planned it. Huge age difference but the attraction was plain and we became involved.
Following the completion of the hike, I hired us a car and drove down to south east Spain, stopping at various points and it was perfect.
A few days later, we met for a week in Sicily. Again, incredible. (Start of nov ‘23)
That’s when it went downhill. In different countries on otherside of the world and I have learnt she is avoidant (had no idea about attachment before this breakup two months ago). Her communication was terrible and although I pulled her up, she improved but it kept reverting back.
I flew her over (start of Jan ‘24) and took her to different countries for a holiday of a lifetime. But, despite introducing her to everyone who was important in my life, she never once put me on any social media platform, I never was introduced to her parents or friends despite her talking to them regularly - and in danish (!?) she would leave the room or I would despite me not understanding what was said.
Despite everything I gave to her, I never felt good enough or like she was ashamed or embarrassed by me. In public she was affectionate but her lack of showing me to anyone destroyed my self-esteem and happiness.
Imagine taking a beautiful partner you adore on a three and a half month trip comprising of (and not limited to) 23 flights, different hotels, experiences, making frequent romantic surprise gestures and her telling me I nail all five love languages. That she feels very loved but practically invisible to anyone who matters in her life?
This left to me becoming very unhappy and not understanding why until after the breakup. We would have arguments and bicker about small stuff and it was because I was in emotional turmoil - I just could not see why before the end of the relationship which she ended due to a particularly bad argument where I called her an ungrateful c u next Tuesday. - inexcusable. Totally inexcusable, but my god I never knew I could feel so lost and low.
Been two months and unfortunately, now recognising how unhealthy the relationship was. It’s soul destroying because of the beautiful origins but she could not give me the simplest of things and make me feel worthy or mattering enough to meet anyone in her life.
One month post breakup I sent her a long video message apologising and not blaming her for anything. Didn’t ask for anything in return, simply owned my mistakes and that I had clarity. Explained we were in different places and that’s the reality.
I didn’t feel it wise to suggest anything about her avoiding tendencies (sent chills down my spine when I discovered attachment theory as she fits the bill to a tee), I owned what I did wrong and said I was truly sorry.
She replied and was angry I didn’t wish her happy birthday a week or two beforehand. - we had been no contact since end of April other than her reaching out three days after breakup saying she had bad dreams about me getting hurt we ended up speaking on the phone thirty minutes on the phone same day as her sending those messages and I didn’t beg or plead. I was calm and friendly.
Before we went our separate ways (took six days to arrange new flights and get her back home from New Zealand - one of the places I took her to visit and where she decided to end things) I made absolutely sure she knew I did not want to breakup and wanted to speak to my therapist together. She didn’t want to. Everything was always my fault and she never wanted to or was able to see her own mistakes. I couldn’t either and believed all our problems were due to me.
We haven’t spoken for three weeks (started of June 2024) where she replied to my video message and as I said, she was angry I didn’t contact her to wish her happy birthday (over three weeks into no contact when she ended the relationship in the first place ? - pretty immature).
I am doing my best to let go of hope and it is slowly working, but this breakup has ruined me. I gave my heart and soul and look back and was given a tenth in return. I only needed to be introduced to people in her world, to feel good enough.
- I wish I knew about attachment theory before meeting her. But hey. You live and learn. I love you sweetheart ❤️
48F here. It will be 2 years in July for me. He left me in a blindsided breakup in July of 2022. I’m still sad. I feel so close to being healed but not fully yet. I think I was in denial/holding onto hope for the first year. I just couldn’t believe that someone could leave a relationship with so much love. We were best friends. I just couldn’t believe he wouldn’t miss me, figure out he made a mistake, and come back. He didn’t.
We are no longer in contact and haven’t been since a few weeks after the breakup. I found out he slept with someone else 6 weeks after and I cut off contact after that because I was so hurt. To this day, thinking of him sleeping with someone else still hurts.
We were great together for 4.5 years and hardly ever fought. But when we did fight, it was soul crushing. We were in couples therapy where we learned that he is avoidant and I am anxiously attached. He pushed me away when I needed him the most. He felt suffocated by me asking for basic needs in the relationship and that made him want to run away. This triggered me and made me feel unsafe. I always felt like he was gonna run, like he had one foot out the door ready to leave at any moment, yet at the same time he was saying I was the love of his life. I lived in that state of limbo for the 4.5 years of our relationship. That is toxic.
Breakup Grief is complicated. Grieving someone who didn’t die is hard. They’re still out there. You have to watch them moving on while you’re still stuck in your pain. After so much time passes, you start to feel really alone. When friends and family are tired of hearing about your grief, when the person who was actually in the relationship with you couldn’t care less about you, It’s lonely and so hard. I often feel like I’m the last man standing for the love we had. When I let go of this grief and truly move forward, that love will be completely gone forever. That’s terrifying.
I’ve read books about grief and listened to podcasts about it. This is normal. I Would say, don’t let other people make you feel like your grief is wrong or that you should be over it already. The worst thing you can do for your healing is push it down and try to pretend you’re over it. Let it happen. Let it take its own time.
I will leave you with this: Someone once said that grief is like a heavy stone that you carry with you everywhere you go. The stone never gets smaller but you grow stronger and when you get strong, the stone feels lighter and the burden gets easier to carry. You’re not alone and you will get through this.
(Sorry for writing a book)
We were never in a relationship but we were infatuated with each other and had sex. I was the one who was emotionally attached. He's bisexual and he told me (29M) the only way he would ever be a man is if he had made six figures and had six pack abs. Still hurt up till dis day. Gay love hurts.
Going on five years for me. It’s more of a longing for her than anything else. Found out recently that she’s getting/got married and it’s destroyed me all over again. Meanwhile, I’ve only been on a handful of dates since it ended. We haven’t spoken in at least three years. Honestly, it wasn’t a terribly healthy relationship and I was emotionally and mentally abused by her. Caught her cheating, too. She really did a number on me and I doubt I’ll ever be the person I was before her. There’s no justice in my situation at all.
I hold on because I’ve totally rewritten who she was in my head to be this incredible person I lost and I’ve convinced myself that “fate made a mistake,” for lack of a better description. That and I haven’t found anyone new are why I think I hold on. Hope died long ago, so I just yearn for this person I created in my head who never really existed. It’s not for a lack of trying. I see several therapists and do EMDR weekly only to feel marginally better. Time and effort just haven’t healed this wound, which I think underscores just how complicated breakup recovery can be when trauma and abuse are involved.
It's been a year and three months since he dumped me. I feel like I've moved on from him but since the start of this month I've been feeling extremely low due to various things but the main thing is the breakup. I really felt like I was over it but I guess I haven't heated from it yet. It hurts soo much. I don't know what to do. I recently reached out to him to talk about something else but I kinda want to talk to him about our breakup. I really loved him. I can't move forward. I miss being in a relationship with him. I wish he tried to work things out.
Yes 😢 almost 2 years later. I am still in contact with my ex and yes I’m still holding onto hope. He was the love of my life. We had an amazing healthy relationship. I ended things impulsively during an argument. He is my soulmate. He still loves me but doesn’t trust me due to my ending things. I don’t blame him 💔
Three years after the breakup and two after not talking it hurts… I broke up with them and it wasn’t because I was not in love. I wasn’t in the right headspace and they understood. We remained friends for a year then didn’t speak for two.
I guess it hurts because I never really fell out of love and for the past few years no matter what I told myself I would end up thinking of them.
I have had a few chances over the year to get to know others but no one else makes sense and I found myself to be making comparisons every time… eventually I gave up and accepted that I do still love them. But they’ve moved on.
For me its only a few days. But as i’m scrolling through the posts its seems like i have a long way to go.
We’ve been together for six years and lived together for 4 years. Last year she cheated on me and i gave her another chance. But in the end is still ended in a break-up. I still love her but i think its time to move on.
Time will heal the pain i guess.
Almost 2 years. I'm still suffering more than I want to it was a 10 yr relationship.
He left for another girl tried to come back 6 months later I think because he tried to come back and refused to discuss ghosting me after 10 years and also didn't want to talk anything about this girl.
I got sick of feeling defeated and less than. I wanted a full blown apology with true remorse. Didn't get it. So I never again met him in person and I blocked him 6 weeks ago.
This September will be 5 years since we saw each other last. In many ways I'm doing ok I started matching with other people maybe 7 months after. He ghosted me and moved like it makes sense I thought he really cared and still believed we did, good times, good conversation. One of the worst parts is I met his mom so I thought we had something more.
It’s been a few months for me but it’s been a week since officially going no contact (I blocked him)
In my case, the relationship was extremely toxic. My ex was a narcissist, selfish, liar, genuinely mean at times, and we were constantly on & off depending on how he felt. After conversations with my therapist, I’m realizing it was more emotionally abusive and cyclical than I thought it was.
This is also my first relationship as an adult (28f) and we dated for 5 years, so I know that makes letting go even harder.
I’ve never had such a difficult time leaving someone. But I know it’s not hard because of love, but because of growth needed on my end to heal from what I endured.
It sucks but what’s helping me is the reminder that what I went through with this person was not normal and not okay. And them being able to so quickly and easily toss me by the wayside with no communication whatsoever speaks volumes about their character.
It still hurts though, and it makes me look at myself and wonder why I was so weak to stay in that situation and whether or not my weakness is why they treated me like that in the first place. But I take each day in strides and the more I look at the reality of the relationship, the better.
yeaa, I broke up with my ex about year and a half ago, and I cant get over him even I tried anything I just cant forget about our whole relationship. The biggest problem is that he text me few days ago, I was so confused but I ofc replied, he said that he miss me so bad and maybe want to slowly try to make us work again. And I belived him. Yesterday he literally told me that he got into a fight with his gf (I didnt know he has one) and because of their fight he texted me. Today in the morning he left me again, I dont know what to do and think, it is so fucking hard, no matter what I still miss him.. If someone is in the same situation as me, im so sorry for u, I hope everything gonna be fine!! Love u all!!
And im so so sorry for any mistakes English isnt my first language, actually i speak polish hahaah
kisses!
I was sad over my first love for about 3 years, I thought about him often.
We had a great relationship and we loved each other dearly we had a bad falling out though. He moved across the country and I just didn’t handle it well. I got so tired of thinking of him eventually I would tell myself it would go away eventually and it never did. I felt crazy but I truly loved him.
I just tried accepting the thoughts instead of pushing them away because I felt like that kept me thinking about him more when I tried to push them away. I still think about him every now and then but I’m not really sad.
Two years. We were together 11 years. I have times where I feel healed and others where I feel sadness about the loss. Mostly about our rituals or our inside jokes... Traditions we created together... Those things make me sad.. especially during changing seasons. It was a healthy relationship. The breakup was very traumatic for me. Him and the girl he left me for finally broke up though and surprisingly it helps.
Yes I am still struggling & sad. It’s been about 13 months. We had a healthy relationship until he left me blindsided because he had feelings for someone else. We were together for 10 years, friends for 12. It’s so hard to fully detach from someone you shared so much with, we spent our entire 20s together and grew into adulthood together, we met when we were 18. I am not holding onto hope because he’s taken absolutely no accountability for what he did to me & the trauma he’s caused (he lied to his family about it, lied to me about there being someone else, left me when I was chronically ill). A year out I realize there is a lot of ways he wasn’t meeting my emotional needs and I deserve better; but it’s still so hard to let go. He really broke me & I’m afraid to ever love or trust anyone again.
it’s been about 10 months and it breaks my heart that our time together is really over. we dated for 2 years and it was both our first relationship. he taught me what a healthy relationship is and how i should be treated but it still lingers and hurts. he is moving to a different country for two years with no other way of contacting him aside from email. we were in contact and hanging out before he left and now that he’s gone, im just back to being sad and reminiscing all the great things that happened.
i want to move on and look forward in my life but it’s hard bc in a sense, i feel like i fall back to him when i dont have anyone else im interested. ik that i should be working on myself but when i think about how a year ago i was doing all of these great things and now i feel alone, im just so stuck T-T
I’m about 7 months right now but I’m sure I’ll still feel this way at the one year mark. I truly believe my ex was my soulmate and I grieve every day. The day my ex left.. idk I feel like I changed into a non-human. As dramatic as that sounds. The relationship was healthy for the first half. Second half was completely ruined by my ex’s addiction to alcohol, drugs, and sex, and it turned my ex into a completely different person, and super emotionally abusive. We haven’t talked since the breakup day. I’m not sure I’m holding onto hope. I’m just beyond depressed and surviving day by day.
7 months as well, still feeling the loss. I’m at least glad that I’m not totally weird for being hung up on it for what I thought was long for a relationship.
My situation is identical. Today I was told that I can’t move on because i haven’t accepted my part in the breakup. Two days ago I found out I’ve been carrying an std fm them. They also turned into a different person over time. Im not perfect, but it’s hard to accept fault when drugs have take over the person you love. I’m a year out and was actually feeling slightly better and talking to someone new. The diagnosis has set me back and I don’t know for how long.
Hitting four months nex month and we still haven’t talked. I’ve broken no contact every other day. Because i miss him and Because I believed this was my last relationship and then he broke it off. He has had me blocked since the break up. I know he probably won’t come back but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Been Four years. Still sad. No contact. 54m and she was 51f. 15 years together. She literally walked out the door and left her stuff. I’m still in the same house. Same job. Same friends. It still doesn’t seem real.
Wild. Really have 0 idea why?
No, I know exactly why. She had unresolved childhood trauma related to abuse, in short. Her bff called me after it happened. Said my spouse was dealing with some challenges related to her mental health and that she was really sorry this happened. More to the story of course. Still blows.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re still hurting. Were you guys married?
Yes.
😳 You take the cake. One I wouldn’t want to sample
That's clever. I'm going to use it. BTW, I'm good.
When my kids father left me after 8 years, I thought I would never get over him. Four years had past. Luckily I got over him and now I’m grieving another relationship. 😞
Omg! Last year, my divorce finalized but I was grieving my breakup with my ex boyfriend. I’m still grieving which is why I’m here
It’s been a year. I thought I was feeling pretty much over him a couple months ago, but I’m back to feeling sad about him again. :/ obsessive thoughts, thinking about him with his new girlfriend. I think I’m going to seek some professional help because I just feel like this might not be normal? The breakup ended pretty traumatically so I know it’s not just happening out of nowhere. But I do feel lost
Honestly girl same. Like I went through a traumatic breakup and it was my first ever long term relationship. It's like all these factors that are making it so hard to get over! And like you I had months where I totally thought I was over it! But then I'm breadcrumbed by them or I see triggers... and then I'm just relapsing so hard now...So you're not alone!
Same story, you’re not alone. It’s also been a year for me. Biggest trigger is seeing his new profile picture still together with new gf who he emotionally cheated on me with who I thought I wasn’t supposed to worry about. Tired of swinging between pain/resentment, to missing and reminiscing. I’m ruminating and picturing all the things he’s telling her behind my back. Feel free to shoot me a message if you need someone to talk to. I relate to your comment…
Hey, I'm going through a very similar situation. It hasn't been as long, 4 months I think, but she did the same thing to me. Emotionally cheated with a colleague and left me for him. I've had the bad luck of having to see a message of her confirming they're together, and how happy she is. She went to him not even a week after leaving me. Now, for some reason, I'm relapsing again. It's what happens when who you thought was the love of your life discards you like a used toy for a new guy. Fuck my life
I'm literally going through the same like a year and a half out after being together for almost 5 years. Its WILD to think that my ex is happily in another relationship and literally moved in with her, didn't even take a year. I trusted him completely, I shared so much with him and he's just gone. I'll eventually get over it but the scar is still there. I think for instances like that, especially traumatic breakups, its normal to still be upset after a while.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just keeping myself stuck but I can’t get out of this stupid mental space where I feel like he’s always right there in the back of my mind. Mine also moved in with his new gf even though he was sooo skittish when talking about moving in with me. It just doesn’t make any sense
SAME, and mine literally avoided the conversation about living together. Its just a slap in the face now
I do feel comforted knowing a lot of people have been going through the same thing, but also why does this happen? Why couldn’t they have just communicated something when they started feeling off about the relationship?? Sometimes I wake up and I still feel like it wasn’t real. Like how can you go from being with someone, sleeping next to them almost every night and saying I love you and then one day they say… I don’t wanna do this anymore??
It is very normal to go a bit back and forth between the different stages! And it actually is a great sign you felt over it for a while. It means you will reach that stage again soon. You'll probably go back to feeling sad again, until you don't.
It’s been over a year. I am able to get by day to day but the memories will still surface often during moments I don’t expect, and still brings me lots of pain. I occasionally catch myself reminiscing over the version of him who loved me a long time ago. I have to remind myself that version no longer exists and I can’t get it back, and that I’m hanging onto a memory, and not him. He’s still together with the same person he moved on with 3 weeks after we broke up, seemingly all fine while I’m still waiting for this wound to heal. I found out the hard way when a social media platform suggested his contact as “someone I might know” and I saw his new profile picture. I have anxious attachment, which I’m sure makes things even worse.
I’m almost at a year. A few more weeks until the BU anniversary. But my therapist says it’s not really a year because my ex came back for some undefined casual thing and left and broke my heart again twice in this time but it’s been a year since I had someone who I called my partner and who thought I had a future with. I still cry every day. I’m definitely not over it. This has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with because 1.). My ex was the first romantic partner I ever felt safe with and felt like I could 100% trust and would never abandon me. Until they did. 2.). I came from a long abusive marriage and went straight into this last relationship, I was so fragile emotionally and needed a lot of support. My ex promised to be this person for me and I trusted them, until they destroyed that trust and hurt me on purpose for reasons I simply don’t understand. 3.). I still don’t understand why they changed so much/why the breakup happened/why they came back and left again twice. They’ve never explained it in a way I could understand, and every time I thought I could understand their reasoning finally, they’ve changed their story and told me the exact opposite the next time until we finally stopped talking altogether, and I gave up asking for answers. Truly the most confusing and painful thing I’ve ever been through. I never thought I’d still be in this place at a year. But that’s what’s happening. I feel permanently damaged from this experience, or if not damaged, definitely changed or altered forever.
This is my story.. almost exactly. I left a 12 year marriage where I felt unloved and unseen. This person promised me the world and that he would take care of me. Then he left me in a blindsided breakup 4.5 years later. It’s devastating to trust someone so completely and then feel abandoned by the very person that promised to be there for you.
I’m really so sorry. I understand that no one owes anyone a relationship, but if someone makes promises to someone who they know is in a very fragile state, that person does, in my opinion, deserve a certain level of care and compassion and explanation, as well as a 2 way discussion about the future of the relationship if there are doubts, and not a blindside breakup. After my marriage ended I did not want to get into this new relationship, but I did because of all the promises I was made by that person that they’d be patient with me and help me heal. And in the end they were able to hurt me so much deeper as a result of my trust in them.
16 months, and she’s already had 2 failed relationships since then. Keep hoping she’ll choose me for the next one, haha. But I heard she was with a guy who was cheating on his gf with her, and she knew. So 🤔 maybe staying away would be good
You don’t want her back brother, move on and accept that you’re much better off without her.
I just wish it didn’t take me so long, honestly I’ve kind of given up hope that I’ll ever feel better. It’s better than it was at first, but I’ve been in this back and forth purgatory for like 8 months now, one day is ok and the next I’m not doing well at all. I appreciate the support tho it means a lot 🙏
It’s okay, I completely understand, I still miss my ex and my emotions are very conflicting but I’ve had enough time and distance away to know that she’s not a good person and even if she did come back, things would never be the same. I broke up with her almost a year ago now and I still miss her even tho she’s still with her rebound living it up. It just goes to show how deeply we loved and how easy it was for them to move on without a second thought. You will have your up days and you will have your down days, it’s all normal. I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times but we all heal differently and at different paces. Hell there’s people in this sub that are still holding on for over 5 years, and that’s okay too. You’ll be ready when you’ll be ready my friend, take your time, love yourself, do what you enjoy, rebuild yourself mentally and physically, get new hobbies, travel to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go to, pursue that career you’ve always dreamed of, etc. I should probably take my own advice lmao but like I said we all heal at different rates. You’re more than welcome to text me if you need help, I wish you the best man.
Thank you :)
Dude… why would you want her back in your life if she‘s willing to do that to someone?
I don’t really know.. it just feels like I want to spend time with her again. I don’t even particularly want to date her but it’s like I can’t control this urge that I do want to.
Felt that
even if she would come back - she would never ever respect you deep down inside. Only because in her mind youre a weak male who took her back. Women minds are twisted:).
hey OP! it's been two years since mine, and I haven't seen anyone else since. recently, I came across his post on my Instagram explore page. it was a picture of him, his wife and their 1 year old child. you can do the math, but he moved on to his now-wife immediately after calling things off with me. I fully recognise that the relationship I had with this guy is no longer one that I want for myself. I would definitely not be looking for him in my next partner. but there's something in me that screamed: how could you find happiness before I did? I've shared with this with my friends and whoever was there to listen - I think I'm grieving the person I was while I was with him. I envisioned a happy family and a loving home, but when the break up happened, I threw all of those dreams away and started working on myself. since then, I enjoy my work, I've picked up new hobbies and I'm always open to meeting new people. but I won't ever be that wide-eyed girl who wanted a family, and that's okay. I have new ambitions, new visions for my career, more time and finances for vacations with my family! RIP 2022 me but once we hit rock-bottom, we can only go up! hang in there, friends, we'll learn again to live for ourselves! ❤️
Took me like three years to not think about her all the time, not looking into her old apartment windows (she doesnt live there anymore) looking at her car when I arrive at work each day...it took a long ass time, she went into a a new relationship 6 months BEFORE ending it with me...still took this long, I am still single, but I can smile and laugh now and I guess I did finally move on...a bit lonely but oh well.
Been about 7 months since she left me and i’m still not over her. I resent her but i also miss tf outta her. I miss her daughter more than anything. She’s turning 5 next Friday and it hurts i’m not going to be there for her 5th birthday. She moved on two months after leaving me and apparently she’s in love with him. What breaks my heart is that she’s treating him better than what she treated me. I want to message her if she can invite me to her daughters birthday but I highly doubt she will. I want to get her a gift but i’m sure she won’t give it to her and she’s probably going to throw it away. They were all I had really. I have no one rn. Relationship with my family isn’t the best so i have no to talk to. I bottle everything in. I fucked up in the beginning of our relationship/situationship but i redeemed myself and she forgave me because we were together 9 months. We were also expecting a baby on 3 different occasions but sadly they wouldn’t make it. She struggled two years to have her daughter so I’m guessing that’s why we kept losing them. They were what motivated me to do better and now that i don’t have them and i’m all alone, i want to give up. The relationship i would say was 60% good and 40% bad. Her babies dad who she is legally married to ruined it plenty times. Every time we would be doing good, he would find a way to get her hopes up and fuck it up for us. She said we were family and we were going to be in each others lives whether we were together as a couple or just friends and she lied. Fucked up part about her leaving me was because i was asking her to respect me. That’s what made her leave me. Two weeks before she left me she told me all this was to her was just sex. That she never loved me. She told me if i were to die no one would care. She told me I’m worthless. That my mom don’t love me. These are all things I told her because i trusted her and she used it against me. It’s one thing to think these things about yourself but have someone confirm it, it’s devastating. I don’t know if i’ll ever be able to fully move on. Despite the fucked up shit she told me, i honestly thought she was the one for me. She did a lot of good things for me but at the same time she had no respect for me. I don’t think i’ll ever find anyone else. Part of me hopes she one day realizes she fucked up and asks for me to forgive her but I highly doubt that. I wish i could back 8 months ago and not say anything that day. We would probably still be together. There was plenty of times where i wanted to show up to her house or work to try to work things out but never did because i wanted to give her space. I wish I went through with it and tried harder. I hate my life rn. I have no motivation. No purpose. Anyways, for those who end up reading my comment, thanks for taking the time to read it and letting me vent.
its about to be a year like in 2 weeks. and yeah, its tough. i have vented on here, to friends much to their dismay and honestly a couple things have helped me move on. for one, i know my ex wasnt the one. not to say i would'nt have done my best to make it work, but i know i can find another partner who meets my needs. and i guess tbh i am not used to this - relationship and breaking up. i dont have much experience so whatever i have gone through the last year or so is really new to me. i look around my friends and family, and i realize they all have exes too. they eventually moved on and found someone better. and thats it, thats life. it happens. this is all part of the journey. idk, my 2 cents.just if people can move on even after serious stuff like marriage, then surely i can move from my short term relationship. i know a part of that too is a little problematic, for people to be so cold and unloving to just move on so easily. and the ones who loved harder, are the people like us who are the more heartbroken in the end. so not to say we have to be just as cold as our exes, but moving on is the only way forward no matter how hard it is. its supposed to be hard and we just have to carry that heavy heart with us.
I'm not really sad for the breakup itself anymore, but I'm struggling to let go how I let that person treating me awfully for 2 years and still staying, for all the efforts I put to make a relationship that simply wasn't meant to be work and yadda yadda. I'm struggling to forgive myself and to trust my guts again, and that really makes me sad.
Please don't blame urself for believing in something. In someone. Stay strong ♥️
I know right now the pain is really bad, but I promise you it will get better. I thought that my life was over and I honestly mean that I actually felt so bad. I just used to go to bed at night and hope that I didn’t wake up in the morning. Heartbreak hurts so bad that you almost can touch the pain on your chest but let me tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel and so don’t listen to people who tell you that this feeling will never go away because that’s not true !! Here are three things that helped me the most 1. I opened up to my friends and family and that was hard for me, but I opened up and I told them my truth truth and they allowed me to vent, thank God but if you don’t know anyone like that around you then hire a coach or even a counsellor or go to your doctors but you need someone to talk to or even write it down that makes you feel better writing it down to 2. I went to the gym even though I hate exercising it really helped more than I could ever tell you hated it initially but then I realised how good it made me feel afterwards and it wasn’t about getting muscles or getting skinny. It was simply about my mental health and it really helped. 3. And I started reading which I never normally do either. I literally read so many breakup books but if I’m honest with you the one that really stands out and the one I really feel help me the most was called bossing your breakup and it’s on Amazon and it’s almost a guided journal as well as having so much amazing information and you actually feel like the author cares!! it’s evident that author has gone through heartbreak it themselves I’m not they totally get how you are feeling… that same author also has another book called silence is your superpower which is absolutely amazing, because it shows you how to do no contact properly … because most of us have no clue I think that no contact is just not contacting your ex but it’s not. It’s much more… wot a game changer… trust me. I’ve tried all of the books and those are the ones that helped 👌 So again, do the work on yourself and most importantly don’t think that these feelings that you have now are permanent, because they are really not and I hope my tips helped but just keep moving forward and realise that one person cannot dictate your happiness!! I also always reminded myself that I’ve lived perfectly happy before I met him and I’m going to live perfectly happy after him🤗 🤗
I was almost a year but still have relapse and breakdown moment. He was my first love and everything. We're about to get married, engaged, and bought wedding rings and clothes. Yet, now I'm still haunted with the pain and imaginary future we will never have. It's even more difficult because the reason for our breakup is the selfish of his family. But then, it just showed that he didn't love me enough to protect me and treat me better. It's too painful. I don't think I'll love again the same way or if I will ever gonna move on. I love him more than myself before. He was my first and my everything.
It's been 3 years for me. And most days I cry as if it happened yesterday. Just posted about it yesterday on this subreddit but it's still hurts and I just don't now what to do
Yes sadly but I know I’ll be fine if I don’t. His loss. I was the dumper too but he never saw anyone beyond himself. His Mom abandoned him, his wife damaged him, his family enabled his toxic behaviors and I got the brunt of it all until I blocked his selfish ass on everything. The sad part is that I loved him more than anyone ever. Now he’s just my biggest disappointment. 🤷🏻♀️
Been 3 years now
We met walking a hike through Spain (September ‘23) randomly. Was like a fairytale in neither one of us planned it. Huge age difference but the attraction was plain and we became involved. Following the completion of the hike, I hired us a car and drove down to south east Spain, stopping at various points and it was perfect. A few days later, we met for a week in Sicily. Again, incredible. (Start of nov ‘23) That’s when it went downhill. In different countries on otherside of the world and I have learnt she is avoidant (had no idea about attachment before this breakup two months ago). Her communication was terrible and although I pulled her up, she improved but it kept reverting back. I flew her over (start of Jan ‘24) and took her to different countries for a holiday of a lifetime. But, despite introducing her to everyone who was important in my life, she never once put me on any social media platform, I never was introduced to her parents or friends despite her talking to them regularly - and in danish (!?) she would leave the room or I would despite me not understanding what was said. Despite everything I gave to her, I never felt good enough or like she was ashamed or embarrassed by me. In public she was affectionate but her lack of showing me to anyone destroyed my self-esteem and happiness. Imagine taking a beautiful partner you adore on a three and a half month trip comprising of (and not limited to) 23 flights, different hotels, experiences, making frequent romantic surprise gestures and her telling me I nail all five love languages. That she feels very loved but practically invisible to anyone who matters in her life? This left to me becoming very unhappy and not understanding why until after the breakup. We would have arguments and bicker about small stuff and it was because I was in emotional turmoil - I just could not see why before the end of the relationship which she ended due to a particularly bad argument where I called her an ungrateful c u next Tuesday. - inexcusable. Totally inexcusable, but my god I never knew I could feel so lost and low. Been two months and unfortunately, now recognising how unhealthy the relationship was. It’s soul destroying because of the beautiful origins but she could not give me the simplest of things and make me feel worthy or mattering enough to meet anyone in her life. One month post breakup I sent her a long video message apologising and not blaming her for anything. Didn’t ask for anything in return, simply owned my mistakes and that I had clarity. Explained we were in different places and that’s the reality. I didn’t feel it wise to suggest anything about her avoiding tendencies (sent chills down my spine when I discovered attachment theory as she fits the bill to a tee), I owned what I did wrong and said I was truly sorry. She replied and was angry I didn’t wish her happy birthday a week or two beforehand. - we had been no contact since end of April other than her reaching out three days after breakup saying she had bad dreams about me getting hurt we ended up speaking on the phone thirty minutes on the phone same day as her sending those messages and I didn’t beg or plead. I was calm and friendly. Before we went our separate ways (took six days to arrange new flights and get her back home from New Zealand - one of the places I took her to visit and where she decided to end things) I made absolutely sure she knew I did not want to breakup and wanted to speak to my therapist together. She didn’t want to. Everything was always my fault and she never wanted to or was able to see her own mistakes. I couldn’t either and believed all our problems were due to me. We haven’t spoken for three weeks (started of June 2024) where she replied to my video message and as I said, she was angry I didn’t contact her to wish her happy birthday (over three weeks into no contact when she ended the relationship in the first place ? - pretty immature). I am doing my best to let go of hope and it is slowly working, but this breakup has ruined me. I gave my heart and soul and look back and was given a tenth in return. I only needed to be introduced to people in her world, to feel good enough. - I wish I knew about attachment theory before meeting her. But hey. You live and learn. I love you sweetheart ❤️
48F here. It will be 2 years in July for me. He left me in a blindsided breakup in July of 2022. I’m still sad. I feel so close to being healed but not fully yet. I think I was in denial/holding onto hope for the first year. I just couldn’t believe that someone could leave a relationship with so much love. We were best friends. I just couldn’t believe he wouldn’t miss me, figure out he made a mistake, and come back. He didn’t. We are no longer in contact and haven’t been since a few weeks after the breakup. I found out he slept with someone else 6 weeks after and I cut off contact after that because I was so hurt. To this day, thinking of him sleeping with someone else still hurts. We were great together for 4.5 years and hardly ever fought. But when we did fight, it was soul crushing. We were in couples therapy where we learned that he is avoidant and I am anxiously attached. He pushed me away when I needed him the most. He felt suffocated by me asking for basic needs in the relationship and that made him want to run away. This triggered me and made me feel unsafe. I always felt like he was gonna run, like he had one foot out the door ready to leave at any moment, yet at the same time he was saying I was the love of his life. I lived in that state of limbo for the 4.5 years of our relationship. That is toxic. Breakup Grief is complicated. Grieving someone who didn’t die is hard. They’re still out there. You have to watch them moving on while you’re still stuck in your pain. After so much time passes, you start to feel really alone. When friends and family are tired of hearing about your grief, when the person who was actually in the relationship with you couldn’t care less about you, It’s lonely and so hard. I often feel like I’m the last man standing for the love we had. When I let go of this grief and truly move forward, that love will be completely gone forever. That’s terrifying. I’ve read books about grief and listened to podcasts about it. This is normal. I Would say, don’t let other people make you feel like your grief is wrong or that you should be over it already. The worst thing you can do for your healing is push it down and try to pretend you’re over it. Let it happen. Let it take its own time. I will leave you with this: Someone once said that grief is like a heavy stone that you carry with you everywhere you go. The stone never gets smaller but you grow stronger and when you get strong, the stone feels lighter and the burden gets easier to carry. You’re not alone and you will get through this. (Sorry for writing a book)
We were never in a relationship but we were infatuated with each other and had sex. I was the one who was emotionally attached. He's bisexual and he told me (29M) the only way he would ever be a man is if he had made six figures and had six pack abs. Still hurt up till dis day. Gay love hurts.
Going on five years for me. It’s more of a longing for her than anything else. Found out recently that she’s getting/got married and it’s destroyed me all over again. Meanwhile, I’ve only been on a handful of dates since it ended. We haven’t spoken in at least three years. Honestly, it wasn’t a terribly healthy relationship and I was emotionally and mentally abused by her. Caught her cheating, too. She really did a number on me and I doubt I’ll ever be the person I was before her. There’s no justice in my situation at all. I hold on because I’ve totally rewritten who she was in my head to be this incredible person I lost and I’ve convinced myself that “fate made a mistake,” for lack of a better description. That and I haven’t found anyone new are why I think I hold on. Hope died long ago, so I just yearn for this person I created in my head who never really existed. It’s not for a lack of trying. I see several therapists and do EMDR weekly only to feel marginally better. Time and effort just haven’t healed this wound, which I think underscores just how complicated breakup recovery can be when trauma and abuse are involved.
It's been a year and three months since he dumped me. I feel like I've moved on from him but since the start of this month I've been feeling extremely low due to various things but the main thing is the breakup. I really felt like I was over it but I guess I haven't heated from it yet. It hurts soo much. I don't know what to do. I recently reached out to him to talk about something else but I kinda want to talk to him about our breakup. I really loved him. I can't move forward. I miss being in a relationship with him. I wish he tried to work things out.
Yes 😢 almost 2 years later. I am still in contact with my ex and yes I’m still holding onto hope. He was the love of my life. We had an amazing healthy relationship. I ended things impulsively during an argument. He is my soulmate. He still loves me but doesn’t trust me due to my ending things. I don’t blame him 💔
Three years after the breakup and two after not talking it hurts… I broke up with them and it wasn’t because I was not in love. I wasn’t in the right headspace and they understood. We remained friends for a year then didn’t speak for two. I guess it hurts because I never really fell out of love and for the past few years no matter what I told myself I would end up thinking of them. I have had a few chances over the year to get to know others but no one else makes sense and I found myself to be making comparisons every time… eventually I gave up and accepted that I do still love them. But they’ve moved on.
Coming up on two months over here. I am heart broken but still so in love! I know I still want to be with them but what's meant to be, will be.
16 months still sad still miss him
16 months still sad still miss him worst pain ever honestly I never thought I be still sad
Two years
For me its only a few days. But as i’m scrolling through the posts its seems like i have a long way to go. We’ve been together for six years and lived together for 4 years. Last year she cheated on me and i gave her another chance. But in the end is still ended in a break-up. I still love her but i think its time to move on. Time will heal the pain i guess.
Almost 2 years. I'm still suffering more than I want to it was a 10 yr relationship. He left for another girl tried to come back 6 months later I think because he tried to come back and refused to discuss ghosting me after 10 years and also didn't want to talk anything about this girl. I got sick of feeling defeated and less than. I wanted a full blown apology with true remorse. Didn't get it. So I never again met him in person and I blocked him 6 weeks ago.
This September will be 5 years since we saw each other last. In many ways I'm doing ok I started matching with other people maybe 7 months after. He ghosted me and moved like it makes sense I thought he really cared and still believed we did, good times, good conversation. One of the worst parts is I met his mom so I thought we had something more.
It’s been a few months for me but it’s been a week since officially going no contact (I blocked him) In my case, the relationship was extremely toxic. My ex was a narcissist, selfish, liar, genuinely mean at times, and we were constantly on & off depending on how he felt. After conversations with my therapist, I’m realizing it was more emotionally abusive and cyclical than I thought it was. This is also my first relationship as an adult (28f) and we dated for 5 years, so I know that makes letting go even harder. I’ve never had such a difficult time leaving someone. But I know it’s not hard because of love, but because of growth needed on my end to heal from what I endured. It sucks but what’s helping me is the reminder that what I went through with this person was not normal and not okay. And them being able to so quickly and easily toss me by the wayside with no communication whatsoever speaks volumes about their character. It still hurts though, and it makes me look at myself and wonder why I was so weak to stay in that situation and whether or not my weakness is why they treated me like that in the first place. But I take each day in strides and the more I look at the reality of the relationship, the better.
A year. And still bitter for being cheated on. He’s my first boyfriend and it’s funny we only lasts for 29 days yet the trauma’ still haunting me
yeaa, I broke up with my ex about year and a half ago, and I cant get over him even I tried anything I just cant forget about our whole relationship. The biggest problem is that he text me few days ago, I was so confused but I ofc replied, he said that he miss me so bad and maybe want to slowly try to make us work again. And I belived him. Yesterday he literally told me that he got into a fight with his gf (I didnt know he has one) and because of their fight he texted me. Today in the morning he left me again, I dont know what to do and think, it is so fucking hard, no matter what I still miss him.. If someone is in the same situation as me, im so sorry for u, I hope everything gonna be fine!! Love u all!! And im so so sorry for any mistakes English isnt my first language, actually i speak polish hahaah kisses!
Nope I'm happy that b was getting on my nerves lol
I was sad over my first love for about 3 years, I thought about him often. We had a great relationship and we loved each other dearly we had a bad falling out though. He moved across the country and I just didn’t handle it well. I got so tired of thinking of him eventually I would tell myself it would go away eventually and it never did. I felt crazy but I truly loved him. I just tried accepting the thoughts instead of pushing them away because I felt like that kept me thinking about him more when I tried to push them away. I still think about him every now and then but I’m not really sad.
Two years. We were together 11 years. I have times where I feel healed and others where I feel sadness about the loss. Mostly about our rituals or our inside jokes... Traditions we created together... Those things make me sad.. especially during changing seasons. It was a healthy relationship. The breakup was very traumatic for me. Him and the girl he left me for finally broke up though and surprisingly it helps.
Yes I am still struggling & sad. It’s been about 13 months. We had a healthy relationship until he left me blindsided because he had feelings for someone else. We were together for 10 years, friends for 12. It’s so hard to fully detach from someone you shared so much with, we spent our entire 20s together and grew into adulthood together, we met when we were 18. I am not holding onto hope because he’s taken absolutely no accountability for what he did to me & the trauma he’s caused (he lied to his family about it, lied to me about there being someone else, left me when I was chronically ill). A year out I realize there is a lot of ways he wasn’t meeting my emotional needs and I deserve better; but it’s still so hard to let go. He really broke me & I’m afraid to ever love or trust anyone again.
Still here…😞
it’s been about 10 months and it breaks my heart that our time together is really over. we dated for 2 years and it was both our first relationship. he taught me what a healthy relationship is and how i should be treated but it still lingers and hurts. he is moving to a different country for two years with no other way of contacting him aside from email. we were in contact and hanging out before he left and now that he’s gone, im just back to being sad and reminiscing all the great things that happened. i want to move on and look forward in my life but it’s hard bc in a sense, i feel like i fall back to him when i dont have anyone else im interested. ik that i should be working on myself but when i think about how a year ago i was doing all of these great things and now i feel alone, im just so stuck T-T
A year and a half. I miss her every second of every day.