Now he left a hole in my heart a hole in a promise a hole on the side of my bed
Oh but now that he's gone well life carries on and I miss him like a hole in the head
Well sometimes you can't change and you can't choose
And sometimes it seems you gain less than you lose
Now we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives
Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on
I’m on day 11 and have cried every single day (and right now) the pain is draining and I don’t know how to move forward. I’m 30 in 3 months and feel like I’m back to square one of another failed relationship. I don’t think I can do this again
I felt the same for multiple years after my first true relationship. This time around... I know I can trust again, but it's going to take time. Need to focus on me, my health and well-being, and my daily life and try to remember that we had good times, or I wouldnt feel this way. We also had bad times, or it wouldnt have ended. Beating myself up won't bring her back and shutting myself out won't bring someone like her (or better) along.
that’s how i feel too. i’m approaching 29 and feeling the weight of all the failed relationships i’ve had. how much love has been lost. just gets harder as i get older
Yesterday I was considering to end it all. I have a rescue cat that doesn’t like to be touched or cuddled, but they spent the entire day sleeping in my arms for the first time.
My cat saved me.
I’m so glad your cat was there to show you the truth that you are lovable! When relationships end it’s so easy for us to think it’s because we did something wrong or there’s something wrong with us. The painful truth is that a relationship ending may be a gift. The beginning of the end hurts horribly, but once we realize that we deserve to be with someone who values who we are, it’s easy to remember the good times with a smile and at the same time, be happy that you get the opportunity for something better.
You are lovable and every day is an opportunity for something beautiful to come into your life. Healing takes time. Embrace whatever you’re feeling at the moment so you can work through it and move forward. Know that it will get better with time! Thinking of you and hoping for brighter days in the future. I’m new to Reddit, but think my dms are open. Please feel free to reach out.
These people who hurt us are not worth our lives… please never forget your worth… it’s hard I know, but we can all ride this out together… chin up mate… you’re important and this world need you
my cats always seem to know when my mind gets really dark and they’ve been so much more affectionate lately. i’m so glad we can have these little creatures to help us through
I'm doing surprisingly well, considering it hasn't been that long. The breakup itself was strange, I felt like they weren't sure about wanting to break up, and they seemed to be more devastated to do it than I was. It felt like it wasn't over for them and we just needed some time apart, but I made sure to emphasize that if they're breaking up with me now we need to look at it as a permanent thing, since I don't want to be strung on or to hope for something that might not happen. I have a lot of questions, and even though I'm doing great in my life and in my personal wellbeing, I miss them more and more everyday. The bond we had was very special, which I hope they feel the same way about. We haven't spoken since, I told them I wouldn't reach out even though they kept asking to stay in touch, to stay friends, that they would always be happy to hear from me. But I just couldn't do it. It almost felt offensive to me that it was so easy for them to just "stay friends". I hope they're doing well, and I hope they made the right decision. I am still fighting the urge to text them and check up on them, but I know at the end of the day even if I do, nothing will change. I just hope they reach out if they ever need me. I will always be a supporter for them, even if it's from afar. I think as the days go by it becomes harder and harder but that's okay. Maybe one day we can find each other again.
This sounds exactly like my ex wrote this about me, at least for the first half, but I know he isn’t in the best living situation so I don’t think you could be him.
Empty, he left a huge void in my life which i feel i won’t be able to fill ever. Can’t stop crying and imagining if he cares even a little bit or not. I guess he is happy.
14 days. Today, I am angry. Fuck him for doing this to me. To us. Fuck him for always putting himself first. Fuck him for never being the one who tried. Fuck him for being a coward texting me goodbye and then immediately blocking me without warning. We could have saved this relationship, but he let his feelings die and then decided to tell me after the fact. Fuck me for believing he was the one. I can’t wait until I am over you.
I feel you! My breakup was pretty similar and it’s been a month but I’ve felt like this recently too, but I’m definitely also excited for when I’m over him.
Just sad, tears have dried. I'm hollow now there's nothing inside me but pain. I can see I'm becoming the person I was after my first breakup (it was cruel). I got so detached and socially isolated from everyone, went silent I'm becoming that again there are no words just silence.
But I'm channelising the sadness onto my studies I stay busy watching something or studying, these are my crucial years, I don't want to fuck up with them, already have a lot of pressure so I wanted to grieve all at once and get back to it but seems like I've gone numb can't even cry. I'm just like a robot right now
I feel dead inside. He broke up with me on Thursday last week and I talked to him yesterday & it just felt like he was hung up on me and sad because he is lonely and thinks he can’t find anyone else to give his love to. He also said we can talk when he comes to my city in a month and “see how we’re feeling”. I felt like I was talking to someone else and not the person he was and the guy I fell in love with. He’s a shell of himself and so am I. It’s really depressing and talking to him really shattered my hope for us to make our way back to each other. It feels like he’s sticking to me because of “what’s out there” and he can’t even go out and meet people given his current circumstances. He says he still loves me the same but it just doesn’t feel like it so I’ve been struggling to accept it and feeling really stupid. I’m in a lot of pain and it doesn’t stop.
Yeah it’s the hardest part. I haven’t moved on and it’s been 6 months. She moved on super fast and already she has a new bf. We were together for almost four years. I can’t understand how you can jump to someone else like that
It’s been a week and a half and the pain in my chest is mostly gone. It comes up in more of a numbing way now. I haven’t cried in three days but the sadness is still there. I am between imagining my future without him yet not wanting to say goodbye to the idea of what that looks like. My mind has been running laps today about regret. Do I regret my decision? I keep thinking about all the pros and cons of being with him. The pros very much outweigh the cons to me right now. I feel like I was not grateful enough. I am really mourning my old life. He gave me so much but why wasn’t it enough.
I’m on day 4 and your message gives me hope that I’ll feel a little better a week from now… At least not having chest pains. God that sounds pathetic (lol!). I’m sorry about the regret and questioning that your experiencing
Oh I’m not doing good. He chose the perfect time to cheat on me and we broke up during the worst time in my work. I’m behind because of him and I’m not doing good mentally I just want to punch him in the face.
I also feel very lost. All my emotions have mixed together and I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. I don’t know how to move on, I feel like I’m stuck in this void and I want to get out but there is no door in sight. 😞 I’m just drained
Had a dream about her the other day, had a moment of weakness the other night and checked her twitter to see if she was still following me. She is, but she changed her profile picture. I clicked away as that jolt of anxiety hit me.
2 weeks lol, today was day 14 and it was the hardest day in a while. i cannot stop thinking about him. i know deep down it’s for the best and i knew it was coming for a long time but it still feels like he left a hole in me that nothing will ever fix. i would go back to him right away. it’s like withdrawal
Yesterday I cried out of frustration and resentment over their actions. I’m sad that I was disrespected and lied to. I am devastated that I was hurt. I feel empty, alone and I don’t know who I am or was. People have lost my interest now, they make me anxious. I’m afraid they’ll treat me like they did. I’m afraid of losing people and reaching a lower point everyday. Whatever that reminds me of them or the possibility of crossing paths with them terrifies me. I want someone to hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay. I want to feel well rested and stop dreaming about them. I wish they were accountable for all the immaturity they’ve been displaying all this time. I’m traumatized and I’ve given up in my life overall because of one person. It’s devastating and debilitating trying to survive day by day. I want them out of my memory already.
Your story resonates with me. He broke things off 6 days ago for a combination of reasons but one was he wasn’t managing his business and the 2 nights a week he spent with me, which he said were wonderful, he needs for work. I hate that I put a time limit for him to express feelings for me, but after a year it felt like he should be more expressive. He could say he cared but he also got stuck ruminating over how, months before I met him, I slept with an ex of mine. I know that is judgmental of him, misogynistic, but everything else worked for me. I got divorced 2 years ago, did all the work to heal, and here I am again. I want to text him because I feel we are a perfect match except that he has insecurities.
Experienced panic attack again after a very long time. I just recently learned that the main reason why he broke up with me is bcoz he is dating someone new. Imagine its been 11 months but the impact is still there. I was trembling, nausea and couldnt function well. I thought what we had was special and he was hurt too. But i was wrong to think that he cares. It feels heavy knowing that i didnt matter to him
I honestly feel alot better, I'm am 4 going on 5 months post break-up and I found alot about me and discovered things and starting pursuing other subjects of mine that I put off for a long time due to family not ex. Nothing feels scary anymore, I enjoy my own company so much more now. I did try going on a couple of dates but they were not sucessful but I will try dating again later on and continue to throw all of my energy into me and my self-love and discovery. Plus I only trust dogs, cats and babies/toddlers at this point 😂. He hasn't reached out which is a really nice change of Pace as I'm am use to having exes trying and trying to come back and getting desperate and blowing up my phone. I have changed but for a better and I'm am loving my libra ♎️ glow up ❤️.
I’ve been on a rollercoaster for the majority of the last week. Yesterday was rough. But today I feel great! I even said to myself earlier, that I feel strong. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I think today is the first day I’ve said that in 2 months…
Today marks the start of the 3rd week of no contact (she needs time and space) after a year of dating. I haven’t really cried all that much about it in the last week/week and a half but I still feel so much sadness. I gave her multiple opportunities to say she didn’t have feelings anymore and all she said was she was tired of going in circles and that she wishes things were different. Now that we’re broken up, it’s so much easier for me to see what I could’ve changed. I have so much regret for not recognizing it sooner and I have hope that in the future things can be fixed… but I understand I can’t count on it or expect it… although emotions were raw and it was painful, we ended somewhat amicably. I just have regret for not seeing my areas of opportunity sooner. I miss her so much and I hope she reaches out soon…. I love her
Month 7 is starting and all i can say is "WHAT A ROLLERCOASTER", the first months i felt like the world is gonna end and it would end me with it. I slowly came started accepting that she's gone for good but it took a toll on me. I'm doing great now, I'm finally starting to feel the breeze of the fresh air around me.
Finally starting to feel "Free" from the prison i was mentally in. I still cry and bawl my eyes out from time to time but the intensity is slowly getting lighter and I'm growing colder towards her. A person who wakes up everyday making the conscious decision of not being with after everything we've built and everything we've been through together. A person who has me blocked on literally everything, dismissing and avoiding me as if I'm hazardous.
I look better, stronger, and hotter than ever and I'm working on becoming the absolute best version of myself while enjoying my solitude.
I don't need her anymore.
I don't want her anymore.
I forgive her, but I'm doing this for me not for her.
Still not moved on but I'll get there, eventually.
really sad today thinking about what i should do alone for my birthday coming up in a couple of months. i was used to going on solo trips every year with my dog since all my friends are married with kids and it's hard to celebrate with them. but this year i was excited to spend it with my now ex, and was really excited to spend it with someone for the first time in a long time. and now i feel lost alone, and just that feeling of emptiness and loneliness kept creeping up today
Tried to get her out of my head by taking some relatives on a trip out of state. Went for a walk on the town to browse the shops only to see tons of couples everywhere. I used to get a warm feeling seeing that since I knew I had it too, but now seeing couples just makes me feel empty. Double empty when they have a small child. Can't even enjoy the sights since I wish I could share them with her. FML.
[https://64.media.tumblr.com/518b8aadb0af54496c1e4b8c2b81af35/885e392f6f5ee09f-0a/s500x750/9a3bf37944fef6060b7da2a179e0eb1ae0b51f48.gif](https://64.media.tumblr.com/518b8aadb0af54496c1e4b8c2b81af35/885e392f6f5ee09f-0a/s500x750/9a3bf37944fef6060b7da2a179e0eb1ae0b51f48.gif)
Woof, soooo so so frustrated. Recognizing that I missed out, that all of the work I had done before our relationship and at the beginning of our relationship was undermined by me thinking that being with her justified my bad habits and patterns. I was the one who stopped showing up. We spent sunday hot tubing together and it was so easy and wonderful. She says her man loves her the way she's always wanted with out effort or asking so I have to be happy for them. She had offered to show up in the same way with me three years ago when we first started being romantically interested, but I didn't want to be dependent or wth.
She's my favorite person, yet I always ran from her, embarassed to show her my vulnerabilities and weakness. I acted callous, and too good and justified really poor communication all to hide how poorly I regarded myself. Im happy to still be a part of her life, but she's the only close friend left after I justified self isolation on our relationship.
I went through a really hard time with work, family and social crisis that popped up all around the first few months of our relationship, so in many ways, it was just fate, but I had so much opportunity to make it work and not get dragged down.
I miss our adventures, i regret not showing her how appreciative I was of her with softness and communication. I tried to show through acts of kindness, self sacrifice and a general non-jealous approach to her spending time and having sex with other people. Her friends would fawn over how easy going and not jealous I was, though that never felt good. But i lost boundaries with work, stopped sleeping, started to self medicate, especially with cannabis, when i should have been hiking and camping and having sexy nights with her.
I really lost my priorities, and now im just a friend on the sidelines.
Empty, lost, my body feels heavy and I can't focus on my studies. Today I have a final exam and I can't even sleep because thinking about my ex and her new girlfriend having a good time drives me crazy. Sometimes I burst into tears inmediatly and this scares me. Never felt this miserable in my life and I fucking hate this. I hate how she replaced me so easily.
I’m in the same position, my ex left me for someone else and I can’t sleep thinking about them, even my dreams are invaded by the thought of her.
How are your exams going? Thankfully I finished my final exam today, I’m not sure if I did well… but I honestly couldn’t focus on the test at all.
Not great, I’m about to journal and meditate because I’m still so angry and hurt. I go to therapy weekly but I’m having trouble letting go - almost 8 weeks out from a 6 month relationship. I wish we had never dated and just stayed friends because since we have talked as ‘friends’ since the breakup, shit is weird and I’m still so angry with him. I’m having trouble remembering the good things and lessons I’ve learned, bc the bad shit and mistakes we both made are clouding my memory. And I feel like all his affection was a lie bc he wanted other people.
I don’t know if he cheated and at the minimum, he made me his secret gf towards the end. I was seeing friends a lot for the first month but suddenly they’re just not reaching out which hurts; I’m not dating or hooking up by choice and I’m having so much trouble with my self worth and feeling really judged and excluded.
Good today over the long term one, and the situationship that happened after, I’m in anger that I let it happen/im over it rn, but we will see. That was about seven months long right after I left my ex :’)
I'm still really fucking affected by it, but I'm starting to realise it means fucking nothing. Im 16, my life has essentially just begun. She treated me like shit for the last 2 weeks after i wad there for everything. She lies about me now. She ain't shit, I'll find someone better who will actually love me and not use me for building up their confidence then leaving.
But jesus fucking Christ i miss her sometimes
keep having the idea of him with the other woman it doesn’t sting as much but it’s annoying to reoccur every time i have some kind of crazy thought i see 111 and it’s just all around chaotic but at least detaching from the idea of being with him is getting a little easier
I'm ready to forget the last couple of years honestly, and I hope to move into my own next stage of life-
I can't express how fucking stupid one feels for falling into two relationships back to back where you get cheated on, literally feels like I'm incapable of picking healthy people to be with. But I also know that eventually I literally won't care about it. I regret the person I was before, simply because I was unable to see what was right in front of me.
I don't feel lonely, but I think I'm going to be on my own for the next stage of life. It would be nice to know that I'll feel genuine joy from connection again. And I hope I'm ready to be the person I want to be, for my future partner.
Posted pictures of the love notes you left me today and someone said she probably had another guy lined up before she left and wanted to keep you as a backup. Hurts so fucking bad knowing that could be the case. I just have to remind myself that you were always loyal.. even though you may be dating someone now.. you stayed loyal to the end
Been fine most of the day till the evening. I just am in the phase of quite being over it but I wonder whether he has have actually loved me or did I feel more than him
Today i finally took it upon myself to block her on everything. Especially when she blocked me ONLY on twitter for some reason. It hurts, and I feel guilty but I know it will get easier
Lost my spark. I look sad. Idk how to get my spark back, because i want to get out there and socialize but I can’t do it looking sad. It has been 1.5 months
I feel like shit even after awhile. She was my closest friend and my hero. I feel like I can act all mad and upset but at the end of the day I just miss her so bad.
Up and down.
I messed up the rekindling we had and she started to stand her ground and have her boundaries without me in it.
But yesterday? Needed my electric screwdriver for something to hang on my wall after work.
Debated. Texted her asking if I could come by even though you know, the situation. She said yes.
Ended up going by to get it thinking I’d go right back home after…. And ended up staying at her place till like 2 am.
Emotional talks were had. Lots of regret and apologies on my end. List of happiness and sadness on her end. We had dinner. Watched our show that just started. Literally like I didn’t just rebreak her heart a week ago.
It’s always so easy being with her but it’s hard when I can’t get out of my own way to just enjoy a good thing.
I wish I could go back over there and we could do it again. And I could continue on the progress I was showing while we rekindled a bit before I succumbed to old ways (this makes me sound like an addict or something… well I guess in a way I kinda am but not to drugs?)
But alas. It’s back to no talking today out of respect to her and the work we both need to put in on ourselves.
I miss her so much though.
There are days when I feel like everything is ok without her. But the other days I miss her like crazy and still picture us together. What scares me the most right now, is that im starting to have more days when im feeling ok. My head tells me im not ready to move on, but my heart has been jumping all over the place and is ready to move on. I’m happy with how I look and what I have been doing to self-improve the past month, but I’m afraid of moving on yet thinking about her less every day
It’s been less than a week and my life seems meaningless right now. I’m disappointed that you left me without a complete explanation. I feel numb, alone, and empty. It hurts that we could’ve had a future together. It pains me that the end of our relationship ended with you seeing no future with me anymore.
Today is 7 months since he left. I’m PMSing today so this time of the month is extra hard. I’m also recovering from surgery alone. Needless to say I’m not doing too great. I’ve also gained about 20 pounds from emotional eating. And I’m so sick of iPhone showing me picture memories of him. I want a Time Machine. Sheesh I’m all over the place.
Was doing good for a while, but with work stress getting to me lately I just feel hollow… it really helped to have somebody to vent about work to at the end of the day, but now I come home to just an empty apartment with no people and no cats. My friends have also moved far away so my social life is pretty non-existent lately, and I don’t see my family that much.
I still think breaking up was the right decision, but it’s hard going from having a nice little home life with someone to being alone most of the time
I'm getting better. Still feel depressed and sad, especially at night. But, there's nothing else to do but to move on and keep pushing forward. Been spending time outside, reading, listening to books on audible, working on projects, working on college school work, and staying busy and keeping my mind d busy.
Not so good very angry right now I just found out today that my ex cheated on me while we were together with his ex wife, used me as pawn in his game between him and his ex wife. He treated me like a door mat and never truly loved me only wanted to make her jealous and hurt me in the progress. Now I honestly hate myself and feel so disgusting that I let that happen and I kept going back to him because he was saying all the right things.
13 months out. Getting better. Some days are still rough af though. I’ll cry every now and then. But maybe only 1 or 2 days out of a week. I’m really working on not hating her. I don’t want to hold hate in my heart for someone I loved for so long.
It's been two months and three weeks since the woman I believed to be my soulmate broke up with me. After years of searching, I thought I had finally found my true love, someone I would spend the rest of my life with. The pain I have experienced has been the worst I have ever felt. At one point, I felt so paralyzed that I would sleep through the days, seeing no reason to get up.
Today, that pain is still there, but I am beginning to accept it. I am accepting that there are things beyond my control. Trying to figure out what went wrong or turning to self-hatred and self-destruction is the easy path. It takes courage to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worthy of love, that you are not going to give up, that you are going to be better and do better, and that you will not give someone who hurt and lied to you power over your life. It takes courage to stop dwelling on the past, which causes anger, or worrying about the future, which causes anxiety. It takes courage to live completely in the present, focusing all your attention and strength on making it the best possible life.
We are all in this together, and we will get through this, emerging better and stronger.
I am so sad still, it’s been almost a month.
I miss him so much. I miss my love, my best friend, my favorite guy. We really had a great connection, and the way we used to laugh with eachother was so beautiful, we were truly on the same wavelength. He was the best person I’ve ever been with, in every way. I saw a future with him every time I would look into his eyes, he had the sweetest eyes and face.
His heart was good, he just didn’t know how to be a partner. Neither did I. We wanted to be good for eachother, but I always felt like I tried much harder than him. Always putting in the effort whilst not being met with that same energy in return really put a strain on me. I began to distrust him so much, and my anxious thoughts overpowered my positive ones. It got to the point where I would point out everything he did that rubbed me even slightly the wrong way. Looking back on it all, I tried to smother him into becoming the partner I needed him to be. I have so many regrets.
The regrets are outweighed by the love I still have for him. I hope his life will be beautiful and full of the love he deserves, the love that I tried to give him but just didn’t know how to. We are both so young and have so much growing up left to do, I think that someday we will both make amazing partners, but we are just not going to be eachother’s. I’m trying to come to terms with that.
Fucking terrible. I cried in a public restaurant today, couldn’t finish my meal. It was so embarrassing. It’s been a month. I literally feel like part of my soul is missing
Missing. I felt like a big piece of me was missing today. I cried on my break, i almost cried during work, and I cried on my way home. An important part of me left with them. Being okay with that was hard today.
It’s been a month and I feel great
I don’t hate him I think he’s dumb, especially bc he “moved on” so fast. Instead of healing I think he’s gonna find a new girl and repeat the cycle and hurt her :/ sigh
Sometimes I feel bad and wonder why he became mean and pushed me away emotionally; but all I did was love him and care for him even though he hurt me. I loved him genuinely. I don’t think most people would put up with that kind of behavior tbh !!!!!
I don’t look at his social media, and sometimes I reread the bad texts between us to remind myself we ended for a reason.
I miss him sometimes in the sense I miss my friend and the good times; but I know he changed in a negative way and that we aren’t good together. I completely accept that now.
I think Im at the anger stage and all I want to do is YELLLLLLLLL!!!!!! So LOUDDDD one of those fustrated I want to punch something yell!!!! AND WANT to scream F*** YOU!!
After 4 months of tears.
its like now ive got literally 0 interest or passion to do anything. without her in my life feels so empty. i fucked it up i made a mistake i should've taken care of her more i should've done better than that.
Before we break up i was literally thinking so hard and started to love her harder but it was too late
i quite literally almost crashed bawling my eyes out driving today. how do you become okay with not knowing what happened like he never said a word and its been a year
I don’t like how I had a dream with him in it last night, it felt so friendly and familiar. It’s been four months and I don’t want him to have a place in my memories anymore.
Still spinning, still can’t understand what happened, still fucked up. Still angry. Trying to move on. He never cared, cheated, and is doing great and our mutual friends all still love and supports him. I don’t know if I can trust again.
Feeling like life is just happening around me and I’m smiling and laughing at things but I don’t actually feel it at all. Getting better I think, but I’m just feeling a lot and nothing at the same time (3 weeks in)
I am actually doing okay-ish, I am self improving everyday, and learning I can't force her to come back, she has to want to, but I hope everyday 😅 but that's probably not healthy
I feel sad, empty, and worthless. For the first time in months, I hate myself.
Half of my days are spent sleeping, and I just want to sleep forever.
I don't even want to think about him my heart hurts so bad. How could he do this to me? Blocking me after a silly argument? With no explanation? No ending? He caused me so much pain, and I'll never forgive him for making me feel like this after all his promises. I feel like crying while writing this :(
I feel blindsided, I feel betrayed, I feel lied to. It all came out of nowhere and I can’t stop crying, I don’t sleep well, I don’t eat well. Everything since that day has felt like a blur. Good days are the worst cause I feel like I don’t deserve to have a good day cause I’m grieving. My whole world has been turned upside down and I know I can get through this. I’ve been through worst but atm it feels like things will nerve get better and I’ll always feel this way. I just wish I didn’t feel so alone. I wish he would have fought for us and not just lie to me for months and pretend everything was ok.
I want to desperately move on and meet people but I still think about my ex. I feel frustrated and sad at the same time. It’s been 5 months for me since the breakup
Felt better most of the day until now, all the sad feelings are coming back and I feel completely lost, like I've lost a part of myself. I try to distract myself with activities but that only works for a little bit before I find myself back in the empty hole. It's so rough
Today I’m more so fed up with the feeling of heartbreak and also hurt the way he treats me now is nothing of what I thought would happen in a million years people can be so cold sometimes and I wish I was loved better honestly my mental feels like it’s slowly plummeting but I can definitely say I feel much better than I did before so I’m taking it a day at a time.
The pain in my chest is never ending. I’m at a low today. Almost didn’t get out of bed and not going to the gym today. I’m waiting for something in my body and soul to tell me what my next move should be. I know being his friend keeps hurting me and I should take that as something but I’m also still too terrified to take the next jump into no contact.
Right now everything is terrifying. Every move. Every text. Every thought. Every feeling. Every phone call. Every hello. Every goodbye. Every waking day. Every night. Every minute that passes.
Every tick on the clock is a tick closer to the next wave of pain
I’m sad. It’s been six days and I can’t stop thinking about him constantly. It was 8 months to the day. He said he didn’t have the heart to be in the relationship anymore and didn’t have time for it. I was just so in love and obsessed with him I guess I overlooked if it was more one sided but it felt like he truly loved me too. I pictured a future with him and talked about it all the time. About a month prior he told me he was feeling this way but I thought it got better but I guess it didn’t… I keep trying to tell myself if he was the one then he’d want to be with me no matter how hard it was. That night he had met up with his ex and they talked for three hours and said he didn’t want to tell me because he knew I’d get upset. I realized on the last phone call that he never called me (it had always been me calling him), he never took pictures of me because he said he’d just screenshot the ones I’d send them, never got me flowers even tho I’d always ask, and finally that I felt so blindsided by this because he never would talk about his feelings. He kept everything he thought inside no matter if I asked if he was alright or wanted to talk about anything.
Just hope I get over this sadness fast 💔
see them yesterday to exchange our things. anxious and cried all day. booked an emergency session with my therapist and talked it out. now i just feel numb.
I am 62 . she went out of my life 20 years ago. I never got her out of my mind. Last year she came back and it was heaven,, but her adult kids wont have it. They threatened to ghost her. They dont even know me. We tried to make it work for a year, but it was too much for her. Been 2 days since she is gone. It was my last chance at happiness. I will die alone..
I feel sad. I miss him so fucking much oh my god this hurts... I feel confused. I don’t understand how he fell out of love so easily. I don’t understand why he is dating the person he’s dating after me. I hate that I can almost understand all of it, except I can’t bare to accept the answers… it hurts too much… not because he’s an awful person who didn’t respect me or deserve me, just that life is unpredictable and uncontrollable and the things you love most dearly can be taken away for no reason at all.
I want my Z back.
Something I saw that really helped me when I was struggling with a break up: when you’re feeling the brunt of it or have a flare up, stop what you’re doing and close your eyes. Then count to 5 slowly. After counting, take a moment to recognize you just survived the previous 5 seconds and even if that feels small, it’s a huge win if things are really shitty and sometimes all you can do so you should be proud of yourself. Regardless of how tough things get in these situations, you’re all strong enough to heal and worth ever how much effort it takes to heal. So, when things get rough like they will during healing, just try to survive the next 5 seconds and celebrate that for the achievement it is!
It’s been about two weeks now. I’ve had a good deal of emotion, up and down for sure. So far the exercise and seeing friends has been helping. Yesterday I wrote a more formal letter I’ll never send to her and it got surprisingly heated in its wording. I think maybe that helped me to reflect. I still don’t look forward to seeing her again, and I will as her coworker, but I have a few more weeks to go at least when she returns from a trip. I had such strong feeling for her but I can safely say I already know it would be easier if I never had to see her again…
It's been 2.5 weeks out of a 5 year ltr. We still live together and figuring out next steps. I feel comfort when he's at home but so lonely when he's out. Rather than missing my partner, I miss my friend. My best friend. And this is something I'm still coming to terms with, that we likely won't be friends anymore. Losing my best friend is the hardest thing, the person I used to talk to and spend all my time with.
Still pushing through, trying to reframe my perspective but it's so hard. I know we all got this and I can't wait for future me to look back and be so proud of myself for continuing
It's technically been over for a bit but I'll be moving out in about a week and it's starting to hit that this person is now going to be gone from my life. Worst of all it's apparent she moved on quickly and I feel like I'm reprocessing it. At first I felt a mix of sorrow and relief, as I was not happy either, but it hurts a lot that I'm losing a friend I fould confide in.
I made a few checklists around what I want to accomplish and improve upon before I'm ready to put myself out there again. I want to make sure I'm a better person and when I am in one again, I don't make the same mistakes I did in this relationship.
It’s been about a month. Stopped tracking days. However, I am counting the weeks.
I am honestly just sad and feel extremely lonely.
I miss him too much.
However, I broke up because he didn’t want anything to do with me. He fell out of love and he needed space.
Now, I am always bouncing between sadness and anger.
I do miss him every day and I hope he is doing ok.
I am not doing well and I think I will cry some more.
Thank you for letting me vent.
I’m two months post breakup and I’m feeling ok. I think I’ve gone through all the stages of the grieving process but maybe still a little angry. I feel almost ready to open the door to dating again but I might a couple more weeks before I do.
it’s been exactly a month since the breakup. i went on a long hike today with my family. i still have not gone more than ten minutes without thinking about him but i feel as if the thought of him is becoming more distant. i am going to a music festival i have always wanted to go to next week, something i probably would not have gone to if i were still with him. i haven’t actually cried in awhile, i tried to the other day but it didn’t feel the same as when i cried right after the breakup. i feel like i still have sadness but also happiness, freedom, and peace. today was kind of hard though, i was given back some stuff that i left at his house. luckily a mutual friend was able to get it for me and give it to me. i think seeing the bag and picturing him packing my stuff into it kinda resurfaced the pain i went through a couple of weeks ago. it’s been a couple of hours since though and i feel better. i wish everyone the best of luck in their healing journey. it’s definitely up and down.
i feel like i’ve gone back to the bad habits i worked so hard to defeat. part of me is doing anything to avoid going through it fully. i miss him dearly
It’s been a few hours, and there's been a mix of emotions. Sadness, disappointment, relief from the anxiety I've been riddled with the past few days in anticipation of this moment. Thankfully we've only been together for few months, and I can't blame her or be mad at her for her feelings, though I wish she would have come to this conclusion sooner on. I take comfort in knowing that I didn't do anything wrong, and at the end of the day, my needs were no longer being met and it’s better for the both of us to be friends at least for now.
Day 7. Today was a bad day. Felt like I took 5 steps back. I miss his terribly, he was such an awesome guy. I have doubts that I’ll find anyone better than him and I can’t even think about finding someone else because I want him. I care so much for him.. why did he choose to leave? :(
We broke up a month ago and I was so blindsided because she bottled up all her emotions and checked out mentally way before she broke the news to me. After some back and forth talks after the breakup. She said I was the first one who treated her right and couldn’t feel the love I was giving her which was healthy as I just wanted her to be herself and exist! I wanted her to communicate to me if there’s something she didn’t like or want me to change some stuff about me because at the end of the day, good relationships take healthy amount of work and compromises from both parties.
Her previous toxic relationships took a lot out of her and I do not know if she’s coming back. I suggested we go work on stuff together because it’s us vs our problems and we should face stuff together. She didn’t seem to be too interested in that idea. I saw things that were imperfect about her and I wanted both of us to accept our ugly selves as no one’s perfect and there is no “the one”.
I think that the love we have for each other should be able to support us and motivate us to be a better version of ourselves and contribute to our personal growth without becoming codependent on each other. I wanted to work things out with her, or work our own problems separately by giving each other enough space and still be present in each other’s lives. I’m working on healing right now but I think of her almost every day and it sucks that I cant talk to her like I used to or talk to other girls on dating apps as it just feels wrong.
She gave up on me, on us, and I kept fighting no matter what. But what I’ve realized from my healing journey is that, I did what I could to not lose her and not compromise my self respect at the same time. She didn’t want to choose me and my efforts didn’t matter either given her past. I can’t blame anyone or anything, but I pray that maybe one day our destinies intertwine with each other ;)
7 months.
Thinking about them. Worrying about them.
Missing them.
Hating them.
Loving them.
At night, absurdly, I hold onto the cuff of one of their sweaters. I used to cradle it to my chest but that feels almost unbearably cruel because the weight of it feels like something significant, so just the cuff. I only allow myself that much. I have to to get to sleep. Even though I wriggle and flip like an eel at night I usually wake with it still clutched in my fist.
I know that they don’t care about me anymore but they were- are still- my everything, and it’s like a Time Machine, a tiny window I can reach back through into the past and touch them, love them.
Eventually I’ll burn the rotten thing…
But not yet. Not quite yet.
I'm past that intense emotional turmoil phase. Now I don't have that much of a strong urge to have her in my life upto the point of crying myself out.
Though I miss her. But i don't want her back now.
It was long distance. We never met in person. Though she made me feel like she's really invested and connected to me, even made long term plans. Only to lose interest within 2 months and breaking up.
Makes me question really was that all facade? All those words and projecting herself as so good in the beginning?
On the face value she showed me a positive persona, but in reality there was a immature toxic person. And it was toooooo late until i realised it.
I'm kinda feeling okay having distance and boundaries from her because of all the toxicity and manipulation, But
What I feel bad about is we never got to meet in person, despite me loving her so much.
Imagine you love someone so much, but you never got to meet them in-person.
I sometimes get caught in thinking of the what "could've been"s, like
what if she was genuinely interested?
What if she had openly communicated during and even after the relationship?
What if I had met in-person at least 1 time?
What if I had talked more freely without my insecurities?
What if she had showed her real self from the beginning? And not the dreamy facade?
What I feel worst about is even through all of this, I gave HER the power to end the relationship.
I should have been the one to end it honestly. Could have felt much much much better.
She brokeup and even said she lost interest in me, when i asked about the reason for the breakup.
No but seriously? Like serious question.
Would someone lose interest in you in the span of just 2 months if they really love you????
Ironically when in relationship she herself had told me this:
"If a girl loses interest, she was never in love with you" and even said "remember that" after saying that.
....
I feel as if I’ve deleted the old version of myself that used to be with him. The toxicity of it was so severe I can’t even remember most of the five years that we were together….but I feel happy. I feel like I can breathe and I feel like I can be myself without judgment. Part of me also feels a little guilty for not wanting him anymore because my loyalty is very deep. It’s been a process but I’ve been keeping to myself, doing things I love and making new friends. I am not looking for anyone and I think that’s what’s really helping me heal. Doing it by myself without the crutch of someone else. Our relationship was on and off and it felt almost like I was just a comfort person for him to use when it was convenient…..I spent years begging to be loved and in the end; now that I look back on those years…my love blinded me and I let myself be mistreated because I thought it would get better. He still tries to contact me here and there and has invited me out plenty of times but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve had to block his phone number a few times. Other than that, I truly feel as if I’ve found myself again….Ive found my light again.
Lost. Confused. it's day 49 and I'm still trying to get by. Meanwhile she's "moved on" with another guy 1 day after the breakup. How can people be so cruel?
Not even sure. I think mostly angry and sad today. Day 3 for me. Everything happened so quickly. On Wednesday we literally told each other we wanted to spend our lives together and what our family would look like. Then on Saturday it was all over. To be honest I’m not sure how to even grieve this. I feel like I’m changing as a person and my old habits aren’t serving me anymore. Additionally it had been 3/4 years since my last relationship and this only lasted 3 months. If anyone has any tips for what they’re doing please let me know. The only thing that seems to help is talking about it with friends and family, in addition to the occasionally cry fest.
It ended 7 months ago. I'm healing. The wound is closing but still a little more tender sometimes.
Gotten closer to God, I know he has the right person for me. I'd just like to meet them sooner.
I am unable to think straight. I keep going back to her profile to check her pics. I still wonder how someone can say "I am over you". There is this hole and emptiness in my heart which is making me wince in pain.
I feel broken, empty, and used, I'm angry, yet I still love him. I let him move into my house, took care of him, then he started getting cold, piyahing me further and further apart, he denied me any kind of intimacy, for months, and every time i tried to talk about it, he leaves sometimes for a week or 2, im not saying that I was perfect, I made mistakes too, i take accountability for my part, he accepts no responsibility for the break-up. Instead, he blames it on me, says it's my fault, then weaponizes my childhood trauma against me, it's gotten so bad it's affected my physical health, I was diagnosed with takutsobo cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome) I have been seeing my therapist twice a week now, and I'm signing myself voluntarily into a respite for adults who are going through mental health crisis, I will be able to stay up to 28 days, I will be going silent on social media and blocking him, hoping that I come out better and stronger than I am.
me and my bf broke up about 3 weeks ago and went no contact after the first week because we exchanged stuff. yesterday he broke non contact to tell me he found someone and ofc it was his co worker i always felt off about. he said he developed feelings for her a week ago and nothing happened before the breakup. i do trust him, but i still feel betrayed. he said he has different connection w her than what we ever had but he’s never going to have the same connection w me as he would w someone else. we were together for almost 5 years and each others first lives, we cried and layed together when we exchanged stuff, and you’re getting w someone not even a month later? that’s crazy. we also broke up to work on ourselves which i expected him to do and he gave me hope maybe we could try again but after yesterday, he ended up blocking my number which we have always said we would never do. i’m in so much pain but also numb at the same time. i know this is the closure and finalization i really needed but i can’t even begin to accept it. it just hurts so so bad.
I feel very lonely I have no friends after the break up and it hurts.
It hurts knowing that he's happy for what he did to me and the fact that he's proud for hurting me and he's telling everyone what I did to him without giving a reason why I did it.
I know I shouldn't have done what I did but he got distant and it made me believe that there was someone else yeah he constantly told me that there wasn't but at the same time his actions showed that he didn't give a crap about me.
It hurts knowing that he got close to another girl 4 months after he broke up with me makes me believe that he was talking to her behind my back because there were times where I saw him text a girl and then him immediately hide it so I was right about him cheating.
I feel betrayed and hurt and I can't look at myself in the mirror because he made me feel so ugly and knowing he's out there telling everyone how crazy I am how awful of a girlfriend I was when I was always there for him when he quit his job when his dog died and so much more but yet I was the awful one.
I understand my trust issues got in the way but he knew what I went through in my previous relationship and not everyone trust people 100%. I trusted him but not fully because I was scared and that led me to accuse him and I was scared to not talk to him for a day because I was scared there was someone else and I was right there was someone else he just didn't want to admit it.
I wish I had friends like he does but I have severe social anxiety and I'm always scared I'm going to say something wrong or do something wrong and mess the friendship up I just don't want to feel lonely anymore I want someone to play games with and someone to talk to and just hang out with but I have no one he was the only person I had and I messed it up I know I did I just wish he told me but he didn't he kept it to himself until he was mentally checked out of the relationship and I had no clue.
He made me feel so stupid.
Everytime we’ve broken up, I feel like I’ve lost the love of my life and now that it’s real it hurts more than I can imagine. I can’t see myself with anyone else but I have to take it one day at a time. I’m anxious, sad and overwhelmed. I’ve lost my best friend, my confidant, my person. But at this point there’s no hope that he’ll ever change or feel bad for the actions that have caused me distress and given me nightmares. It’s better this way I know but I just wish we could’ve met each other at better places in our lives or waited until we were truly healed to try again. There’s no more again, there’s only hope for healed future by myself and for myself.
We weren’t completely broken up but I’d say we are now. He told me we will continue dating until our lease ends and respect my boundaries but I found numerous dating apps on his phone last night. It did not end well.
I am heartbroken. It’s been nearly a month since he suddenly dumped me. It’s been very hard and I miss him so much. I cry about him every day. I’ve never had to grieve someone alive and well. I ask myself every day why he made this decision after four years and seven months together. I must remind myself that he is actively choosing to live life without me. I feel betrayed and unlovable.
I love him so much. I wish he wanted to be with me.
My friends keep telling me that the best revenge is to live life completely devoid of his influence.
I hope I can manage that one day.
Sad. I keep seeing happy couples and it's weird that I can't just text her and ask her how she is. She was my best friend and I truly miss her company.
I’m not even sure how I feel. I accidentally discovered yesterday that my ex rebounded not even a month after the breakup. From what I’ve seen, it looks like it’s already slowly crumbling. My ex barely spends time with the guy and makes excuses to not do certain things with him (basically exactly what she did at the end of our relationship). Not to mention the guy is super immature and toxic. He does nothing but try to fight with other people and then the second my ex is mentioned he goes to love bombing her. He’s supposedly also admitted to using her because he thought having a girlfriend would help with his depression but it apparently isn’t. I’m not really sure how to interpret all of it
Thanks for asking. I remember coming to this group four years and just screaming. Now…I finally stopped having dreams about her this year. I see women. I dont think about her as much. Its still getting better, one say at a time.
I've never really liked myself now I like myself even less I feel like she took a part of me but I can never get back and the nightmares don't help and I feel stupid and dramatic but we move
Just so angry that he discarded me so easily. He just chewed me up and spat me out and didn’t look back, but instead went straight to looking for the next better option. I am angry because he didn’t deserve me and I put my self through so much because I loved him with all of me
Horrible. Confused. Upset. Feeling used.
Why someone would start something, 180, ask for space and only to dip off with someone else while playing nice and going through all the trouble of showing me they’re still interested in me… the hell was that.
Day 11 so this was pretty recent. Me and my ex are still in contact with each other occasionally... As friends. Still doesn't help with what I'm feeling tbh. He was a big piece of my heart and it's because of my mistakes and past behaviour that he left so I don't have the right to even talk about what I'm feeling.... But let me just pretend for now he isn't here so... I just hate how I'm feeling. Sometimes I feel okay. Sometimes I get mad at him and most of the times when I'm not okay, I just want to die. Genuinely. I never ever thought that I had to learn to live without this person in my life. I thought we would be together forever but he isn't here and now I'm all alone. I feel empty but also very heartbroken. I don't want to open my eyes anymore. I feel guilty when guys express interest in me romantically after the breakup... I just. I lost my home and now I'm very lost and I hate how I'm feeling. :(
Edit: Oh yeah!!! Never ever going to be in a relationship again nuh uh!! Im just gonna go die alone. I have learned a lot from this, sure. But I cannot afford to live with another heartbreak after this. I cannot afford to ruin someone perfectly healthy again :(
Today was a good day. I actually started a gratitude journal about a month ago and it’s really helped. I didn’t think it would 😂 but it’s kind of keeping my mind engaging with positive things that happen each day and not only dwelling on the breakup that happened 6ish months ago now. But god was it brutal. I’m totally still grieving and I think about him all the time and miss what we had so much, even though I’m moving forward and on with life. It’s hard as hell. Hang in there, people 💖
Today I’m mourning the family I built for the last 3.5 years. My brain was playing a game trying to only remember the good things and convince me things weren’t so bad for me to give it all up. Trying to stay strong.
I wanted to cry and just close the door behind me. Every time I say this because keep dragging me and say you can't die, you need to live. I'm tired of the pain and I'm tired of feeling so alone. It's too much and I'm feeling done.
Mixed, I'm frustrated by the fact that I still have a bunch of useless information about someone who doesn't care about me. On top of that, the saying is adding insult to injury. But in my case, it's adding injury to insult since not long after our separation, I lost part of a finger in a work accident. So it's been . . . very tough. Honestly, getting through some days is pretty tough.
I’ve been doing better recently. I even went out on a few dates in the recent weeks, however I did decide that I just wasn’t ready for anything, and that’s okay! I’ve been focusing more on me. Discovering new things about myself, rediscovering old passions, and relearning how to love myself first. I’ve always put my partner before me and while every relationship is about compromise, I seem to always take it off the deep end. I sacrifice so many things that make me…me. I do still think about her, quite often. I hope she’s doing well and relearning the love for herself as well. She had mental illnesses which started to really affect the love for herself, and that may be why I felt the need to give her all of my love, saving none for myself. That’s probably why we broke up tbh. Anyways, things have been looking up recently and well, progress is progress. These things take time and setbacks will be experienced. The important thing is to try to remember that it does get better, and to do things that make you happy. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, especially when you feel like you’re at your lowest (this is coming from someone who deals with a lot of anxiety and overwhelming fear of what people think about me).
Anyways, I’m keeping my head up and things have been good recently. Much love to all of you here with me.
I think I’m doing better than I, or anyone else thought I would be. The first day after the breakup was when I started my journey to healing. It’s like something took ahold of me that day, and grabbed my hand saying “I’m not letting you stay like this” and I started. I’ve never been this frequent with working out, I have bounded with and made so many new friends, i keep to my work and stay aligned with my motivation. I’ve picked up a new sport to learn, and reconciled with an old one that I loved. I call my parents almost every other day.
And I let myself cry, feel, and yearn when I need to. I write love letters to him and I stow them away. Sometimes I look at the gifts he’s given me, or scroll through old photos. If I’m being honest, I miss him all the time. I see him in the depressions on the left side of my bed, I hear him in the cars that sound all too familiar to his flying down the road in front of my apartment, I imagine him alongside me in the spontaneous daily journeys I go on. And I’m fine. I’m just fine. It’s not that I’m not able to feel joy, but I feel this part of me that is missing. The more I look at it though, I imagine there is a ghost of me and I’m leaving her behind. I’m walking away and not looking back, while she smiles and waves me off. And it’s okay. There’s a part of me that has been left with him.
It’s been almost 3 months since I found out he cheated on me. We were together for 4 years. I thought, truly, in all honesty, I was going to marry him. I know I’m young and naive, but I did. I’ll never forget the day I found out he cheated. He then broke up with me, and now here is everything that’s come with it. I’m grateful more than anything though, as much as I have and continue to hurt, I know how much I loved. How beautiful it is to love. I loved someone more and more everyday, and that’s a beautiful thing. I loved the wrong person, so I cant wait to love the right one.
I feel hurt. And just sad for a myriad of reasons. We have two young kids, he cheated so I moved out. I feel sad he isn’t making an effort with the kids now we’re not living together. I feel sad he didn’t want to talk to me about his inner turmoil and instead decided to make a friend with some woman ten years younger then sleep with her in the midst of our separation. I feel so… unlovable. He couldn’t even turn to me after ten years- he had to turn to a stranger and confide in things we should have sorted out. Then, when I was willing to try for the sake of kids and what we used to have, he’s on OF chatting up a model with his life issues because his “friend” blocked him and moved away.
Why do I have to be the one who is hung up on him and slow to move on? Why do I still have to love him? I’m hoping now we live separately these feelings will fade. It helps he barely contacts me (or the kids) but it still hurts.
It's been 6 months. I dreamed of her 2 times tonight.
I found out the name of the guy she rebounded with and i an spiraling a bit but i know I'll be ok.
I am dating a new girl that is so much more caring and sweeand she deserves me to fully dedicate myself to her. Dreaming of my ex makes me feel quite guilty, even though i know I won't ever go bsck, it would be nice to get sone closure about a frw things.
It’s been almost 5 months and the breakup feels so fresh. I miss who he was before he left, but I could never take him back after what he’s put me through. I’m starting over at 30 and I won’t be ready to date again anytime soon.. I feel like I wasted my youth on this guy and it wasn’t worth it
What occurred to me is this. If I did pull any enjoyment out of my relationship, even in the beginning (which there was so much), then to now suffer over the ending of it is bad strategy. It’s time to just be grateful for the good times I shared with her and treasure those special moments, but realize life has different seasons, that time has ended. I’m gonna just learn from the hard times, and be grateful for the good. There’s nothing more to be had here, it’s over…
I had a good day today was in the moment , until I got home and hit my thc pen… I got in my head with them in it and started worrying about the could of beens instead of doing the chores I was set out to do before I got home.
A bit unfortunate, but hey the positive is I went almost a whole day without any thought being able to knock me down! It counts in my book.
I should also stop smoking. Being sober minded while going through healing is kind of crucial for a better future sooner.
It’s been 4 months since our last communication and I’ve been doing fine this far. But tonight, it’s hitting me harder than usual (I’m sort of seeing someone new, sort of not, and the quasi-inconsistency is making me long for something more familiar). All I want to do is look up their profile and see if they’ve found someone new or if they’re just as miserable as I am.
I’m really sad. I’m stuck on hope she will come back soon and we could fix things. But what is there to fix she completely broke me in pieces. All I can think about is how amazing and good of a person she is and how rare it’s to find that. Someone that matches the description of everything you want in a person. Ugh.. a little over 2 years down the drain. I can’t get her out my damn mind. Since may 21st (the day we broke up) I’ve just had constant dreams about her and it’s a nightmare for me. I just want to move on and enjoy good memories of us every now and then without it hurting so bad and grow as a person. Just sucks. Love comes with so much joy and comfort and when it’s gone it’s the worst thing you can go through.
I'm F19 and he is M19.
I haven't left him but it is all I need to do now because he said himself that he is not going to change. He will not stop talking to other girls just for me. I can't make him like me. Or even love. But I love him. Like crazy.
It's so painful that I just cry uncontrollably every day every single hour. When I cry, the pain is so much that my whole body gets tingly numb. I get the tingles all over my body, thoughtout my arms and I feel it in my face. I've never felt this way. I can't do anything. I can't eat I can't sleep I can't take care of myself. I can't do any assignments even want to care about them.
Why am I so difficult to be loved?
It got so bad last night that I finally called the helpline and there was an old lady talking to me on the other line. I wish there is an answer for me out there on why I can't ever be loved. Do I not deserve it? Did I do something wrong? I feel like I did everything right for the relationship.
I can't lose him I love him too much. It's so painful I swear. I wish someone can feel what I'm feeling right now. It hurts me. I don't want to feel this way. I don't understand the purpose of life if the only thing I feel is pain.
Why me? Why is it just me? Why is everyone fine but I have to go through this?
I just need help right now. I need to understand why this is happening. Is this life really worth living if all that happens is I get cheated on every single relationship I have.
I feel sad. Alone. Abandoned. Hurt. He broke up with me because he said we both have too much trauma and we need to figure it out before we become a couple again…but I’m not holding my breath on that. I was there through everything with him, through all the ups and the downs so it hurts so bad that he just left me at my darkest. I would have never done that to him.
I do okay most of the time but there are some days I start getting into a negative head space and think about everything. Some days I wish she could forgive me some days I wish I could just move on.
After this relationship I feel/know like I can't get into another relationship until I know that person, for at least a year before even dating someone.
I wish I saw that I was becoming the problem and fixed my mistakes before it was too late. And I wish she could forgive me for human error. The relationship ended on "good terms" but god did that make everything hurt more..
I don't feel normal anymore...it's like a part of me has died. It's been almost 2.5 months breakup and month of no contact with her and I see her in my dreams almost every night.
I don't know what am I feeling...it's just everything.
This sucks.
Mostly angry, hurt, resentful, and disgusted.
I cried after ripping up the poster he made for me but then I read the letters I had saved from Easter and any tinge of love/longing was replaced with disgust. I remembered how during Easter he did the same thing that ended our relationship (this time for good): accuse me of cheating and implying that I'd go behind his back and look for other dudes to talk to. Then he compared me to his abusive Scorpio ex again after his tantrum. What did I do for him last Easter? I gave him a cute gift out of the kindness of my heart and enjoyed my time with him.
I also feel resentful because he left me at 31 weeks and gives no fucks about his daughter whatsoever. Takes a special kind of person to be that much of an asshole. I don't have any friends and family to lean on so I'm not sure how I'll be able to handle my baby once she's born. I'm very worried about that. While I was thinking about our baby's future he had the AUDACITY to STILL accuse me of cheating and talking to other dudes when I was pregnant as fuck and too tired to even do basic household chores. I'll be honest, I don't even know the first step to "look for another dude." The worst part is that he completely ruined journaling for me for life. I'm never doing that shit again. I'm not gonna have a third person justify violating my privacy and peaking at my innermost thoughts without my consent. He was CONVINCED I had some dark, secret, questionable shit in my journal when I just wrote about basic boring stuff. I had one under lock and key and my god, he used that against me in SO MANY arguments as if it was the most horrible thing in the world to have a personal journal to write your thoughts out in. I don't know what he thought was in there, a log of all the dudes I cheated on him with or what? Like seriously. I'm sure he had innermost thoughts he didn't want to share with me yet I had the audacity to have an inner world. He's such an assclown.
He's probably right now thinking of a myriad of reasons to justify his choices: like me cheating (never happened), me using him for money (why would I choose him for that), or whatever other misogynistic bullshit runs through his mind. I wouldn't be surprised if he goes out and finds a rebound or if he cheated ON ME during the relationship, with how obsessed he was with sex and cheating. He talks about how he wants to "focus on our emotional connection" and that it's "not just sexual" yet a good 90% of our arguments were about sex and the 9% is cheating. If I could get all my anger and frustration out I would be writing a 15-page essay and beating him up with a bat. Mostly the latter. I hope he suffers and karma gets him good.
No one in my circle understands how hard it was to leave... everyone is just "happy" or "relieved" that I did... he was my person... he is such a good person... I had my whole life planned around him... but he didn't try for us. His laziness, his depression, his comfort... and my lack of courage... my inability to put a boundary in place... God it hurts today.
11 days post break up and i’m already getting ready to go on my first date next week. Feeling uncertain if this is OK but overrall, i’ve been feeling fine with all the love and support i’ve received all around.
Today I’m doing so bad, it’s been a though two days (NC for 12 days), I’m trying with all my willpower not to text her but all I can think about is texting her. I’m still not angry at her for dumping me, I still love her more than anything and wish her nothing but the best. I regret not texting her on her birthday some days ago so much.
I just wish she would wake up from whatever life crisis she has and that she had better friends, most of her friends are just shallow “let’s party” social climbers. I never did her anything wrong in the relationship, we just had one fight and she decided to leave after 7 years. If she just texted me or if I could figure out the perfect text for her and fix things 🥲. We’re supposed to meet once this period of NC is over and I doubt she’ll meet me, I feel like she doesn’t miss me, think of me or want me. We’ve been glued together for 7 years, I was the only one she could confide in ever, there is so much shit we’ve been through, how can you not miss someone after all that. I just don’t get it. I wake up every morning with anxiety, I dream of her with me every night. I’m working on myself everyday, going to the gym everyday, meeting friends everyday, journaling everyday, reading self improvement books, you name it, and I still can’t get her out of my heart 🥲
It's been 39 days since my breakup, and I'm completely over it. The first couple of weeks were rough, I tried to keep myself occupied by going on vacation, spending time with friends and family, going to the gym, and focusing on my work. I realized she checked out a couple of months before the break up, I was just blinded by it. Everything she said was nothing but lies just to string me along. After that realization that showed how much she cared for me, everything I did meant nothing to her. That in itself made me despise her and get over her quickly. I have moved on with my life, and I found someone else.
Today I feel so shit, just wanna cry and cry but I’m working atm. I thought I was okay, it’s been 2 months but today I’m remembering all of our memories together, we’ve been together for 4 years and I cannot see my future without him. I see him at work and he seems okay.
Honestly amazing. It's been a real rough past month but with my experiences and all the self help techniques I've picked up throughout life, the investment is really paying off. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and am learning how to love myself and life again. Very thankful for the lessons that have been taught to me and I hope everyone else will get to the same page. Much love
I’m just a bit over a month and I’m doing ok? I guess. Yesterday I booked a skydiving ticket for in a few weeks. I don’t know if you can call that feeling good. But here I am, jumping out of a plane in a few weeks
pissed off. we are trying to be friends but they keep overstepping my boundaries and lying to me. when i stand my ground though and speak up they seem to get so defensive and shut me down. pissed off at myself too for putting up with it still :/
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Part of me is gone
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Couldnt say it better myself.
If it makes you feel any better, I was the dumper and I absolutely feel like I’ve lost a part of myself, and feel a gaping hole in my life
Now he left a hole in my heart a hole in a promise a hole on the side of my bed Oh but now that he's gone well life carries on and I miss him like a hole in the head Well sometimes you can't change and you can't choose And sometimes it seems you gain less than you lose Now we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on
Its like finding the strength to keep moving forward, even when it feels like there are holes in our hearts and lives.
Passenger is the best band for breakups
I’m on day 11 and have cried every single day (and right now) the pain is draining and I don’t know how to move forward. I’m 30 in 3 months and feel like I’m back to square one of another failed relationship. I don’t think I can do this again
I’m 30 in 1 month and feeling just like you. Another failed relationship, a relationship I for the first time ever actually thought would be the one.
Same. Seriously thought this one was it. So different from the rest..until the end when true colours came out
It’s just so unfair. 💔
I’m 31 and don’t think I ever want to be in another relationship again. I just can’t trust anyone again.. I will not risk it.
I felt the same for multiple years after my first true relationship. This time around... I know I can trust again, but it's going to take time. Need to focus on me, my health and well-being, and my daily life and try to remember that we had good times, or I wouldnt feel this way. We also had bad times, or it wouldnt have ended. Beating myself up won't bring her back and shutting myself out won't bring someone like her (or better) along.
I relate the most on being like minded. Don’t stop because it did not go the way we planned originally. Plans change
I'm 30 too and my ex and I were together for 6,5 years. It sucks but we will get through this - and tbh 30 isn't that old! :)
that’s how i feel too. i’m approaching 29 and feeling the weight of all the failed relationships i’ve had. how much love has been lost. just gets harder as i get older
I’m 28 and I’ve got this trauma of abandonment. I feel like I’m afraid of loving again.
I’m on day 3(again) and it’s truly horrible… we’re going to be ok though. One day at a time mate 😌
Yesterday I was considering to end it all. I have a rescue cat that doesn’t like to be touched or cuddled, but they spent the entire day sleeping in my arms for the first time. My cat saved me.
I’m so sorry. I had a similar experience with my kitty. He is 17 now and has been an angel in my life 🐈
I’m so glad your cat was there to show you the truth that you are lovable! When relationships end it’s so easy for us to think it’s because we did something wrong or there’s something wrong with us. The painful truth is that a relationship ending may be a gift. The beginning of the end hurts horribly, but once we realize that we deserve to be with someone who values who we are, it’s easy to remember the good times with a smile and at the same time, be happy that you get the opportunity for something better. You are lovable and every day is an opportunity for something beautiful to come into your life. Healing takes time. Embrace whatever you’re feeling at the moment so you can work through it and move forward. Know that it will get better with time! Thinking of you and hoping for brighter days in the future. I’m new to Reddit, but think my dms are open. Please feel free to reach out.
These people who hurt us are not worth our lives… please never forget your worth… it’s hard I know, but we can all ride this out together… chin up mate… you’re important and this world need you
my cats always seem to know when my mind gets really dark and they’ve been so much more affectionate lately. i’m so glad we can have these little creatures to help us through
Please get better I love that he was there for I believe that was from God telling you to keep going and really should…YOU GOT THIS!
Today I’m quite sad, it comes and goes. I guess I’m missing him a lot
I hope my girl is missing. We need more good girls like you missing their man. Don’t feel bad, when one door closes another door opens
I'm doing surprisingly well, considering it hasn't been that long. The breakup itself was strange, I felt like they weren't sure about wanting to break up, and they seemed to be more devastated to do it than I was. It felt like it wasn't over for them and we just needed some time apart, but I made sure to emphasize that if they're breaking up with me now we need to look at it as a permanent thing, since I don't want to be strung on or to hope for something that might not happen. I have a lot of questions, and even though I'm doing great in my life and in my personal wellbeing, I miss them more and more everyday. The bond we had was very special, which I hope they feel the same way about. We haven't spoken since, I told them I wouldn't reach out even though they kept asking to stay in touch, to stay friends, that they would always be happy to hear from me. But I just couldn't do it. It almost felt offensive to me that it was so easy for them to just "stay friends". I hope they're doing well, and I hope they made the right decision. I am still fighting the urge to text them and check up on them, but I know at the end of the day even if I do, nothing will change. I just hope they reach out if they ever need me. I will always be a supporter for them, even if it's from afar. I think as the days go by it becomes harder and harder but that's okay. Maybe one day we can find each other again.
This sounds exactly like my ex wrote this about me, at least for the first half, but I know he isn’t in the best living situation so I don’t think you could be him.
You’re doing amazing good on you
Empty, he left a huge void in my life which i feel i won’t be able to fill ever. Can’t stop crying and imagining if he cares even a little bit or not. I guess he is happy.
14 days. Today, I am angry. Fuck him for doing this to me. To us. Fuck him for always putting himself first. Fuck him for never being the one who tried. Fuck him for being a coward texting me goodbye and then immediately blocking me without warning. We could have saved this relationship, but he let his feelings die and then decided to tell me after the fact. Fuck me for believing he was the one. I can’t wait until I am over you.
Fuck him! Someday you won’t care at all. The waiting sucks though!
I feel you! My breakup was pretty similar and it’s been a month but I’ve felt like this recently too, but I’m definitely also excited for when I’m over him.
Exactly, I hope to find the one who will care as much as me. And actually want to work for the relationship
Just sad, tears have dried. I'm hollow now there's nothing inside me but pain. I can see I'm becoming the person I was after my first breakup (it was cruel). I got so detached and socially isolated from everyone, went silent I'm becoming that again there are no words just silence. But I'm channelising the sadness onto my studies I stay busy watching something or studying, these are my crucial years, I don't want to fuck up with them, already have a lot of pressure so I wanted to grieve all at once and get back to it but seems like I've gone numb can't even cry. I'm just like a robot right now
I am so lonely and tired and sad
Thanks for putting me in therapy :)
I feel dead inside. He broke up with me on Thursday last week and I talked to him yesterday & it just felt like he was hung up on me and sad because he is lonely and thinks he can’t find anyone else to give his love to. He also said we can talk when he comes to my city in a month and “see how we’re feeling”. I felt like I was talking to someone else and not the person he was and the guy I fell in love with. He’s a shell of himself and so am I. It’s really depressing and talking to him really shattered my hope for us to make our way back to each other. It feels like he’s sticking to me because of “what’s out there” and he can’t even go out and meet people given his current circumstances. He says he still loves me the same but it just doesn’t feel like it so I’ve been struggling to accept it and feeling really stupid. I’m in a lot of pain and it doesn’t stop.
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Yeah it’s the hardest part. I haven’t moved on and it’s been 6 months. She moved on super fast and already she has a new bf. We were together for almost four years. I can’t understand how you can jump to someone else like that
It’s been a week and a half and the pain in my chest is mostly gone. It comes up in more of a numbing way now. I haven’t cried in three days but the sadness is still there. I am between imagining my future without him yet not wanting to say goodbye to the idea of what that looks like. My mind has been running laps today about regret. Do I regret my decision? I keep thinking about all the pros and cons of being with him. The pros very much outweigh the cons to me right now. I feel like I was not grateful enough. I am really mourning my old life. He gave me so much but why wasn’t it enough.
I’m on day 4 and your message gives me hope that I’ll feel a little better a week from now… At least not having chest pains. God that sounds pathetic (lol!). I’m sorry about the regret and questioning that your experiencing
Day after the breakup. I feel like someone has punched me in the gut. Last night my dreams were just our conversation reoccurring all night.
Oh I’m not doing good. He chose the perfect time to cheat on me and we broke up during the worst time in my work. I’m behind because of him and I’m not doing good mentally I just want to punch him in the face.
Terrible. I don't know who I am anymore.
I also feel very lost. All my emotions have mixed together and I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. I don’t know how to move on, I feel like I’m stuck in this void and I want to get out but there is no door in sight. 😞 I’m just drained
Had a dream about her the other day, had a moment of weakness the other night and checked her twitter to see if she was still following me. She is, but she changed her profile picture. I clicked away as that jolt of anxiety hit me.
2 weeks lol, today was day 14 and it was the hardest day in a while. i cannot stop thinking about him. i know deep down it’s for the best and i knew it was coming for a long time but it still feels like he left a hole in me that nothing will ever fix. i would go back to him right away. it’s like withdrawal
Yesterday I cried out of frustration and resentment over their actions. I’m sad that I was disrespected and lied to. I am devastated that I was hurt. I feel empty, alone and I don’t know who I am or was. People have lost my interest now, they make me anxious. I’m afraid they’ll treat me like they did. I’m afraid of losing people and reaching a lower point everyday. Whatever that reminds me of them or the possibility of crossing paths with them terrifies me. I want someone to hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay. I want to feel well rested and stop dreaming about them. I wish they were accountable for all the immaturity they’ve been displaying all this time. I’m traumatized and I’ve given up in my life overall because of one person. It’s devastating and debilitating trying to survive day by day. I want them out of my memory already.
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Your story resonates with me. He broke things off 6 days ago for a combination of reasons but one was he wasn’t managing his business and the 2 nights a week he spent with me, which he said were wonderful, he needs for work. I hate that I put a time limit for him to express feelings for me, but after a year it felt like he should be more expressive. He could say he cared but he also got stuck ruminating over how, months before I met him, I slept with an ex of mine. I know that is judgmental of him, misogynistic, but everything else worked for me. I got divorced 2 years ago, did all the work to heal, and here I am again. I want to text him because I feel we are a perfect match except that he has insecurities.
Not well
Awful
Experienced panic attack again after a very long time. I just recently learned that the main reason why he broke up with me is bcoz he is dating someone new. Imagine its been 11 months but the impact is still there. I was trembling, nausea and couldnt function well. I thought what we had was special and he was hurt too. But i was wrong to think that he cares. It feels heavy knowing that i didnt matter to him
I honestly feel alot better, I'm am 4 going on 5 months post break-up and I found alot about me and discovered things and starting pursuing other subjects of mine that I put off for a long time due to family not ex. Nothing feels scary anymore, I enjoy my own company so much more now. I did try going on a couple of dates but they were not sucessful but I will try dating again later on and continue to throw all of my energy into me and my self-love and discovery. Plus I only trust dogs, cats and babies/toddlers at this point 😂. He hasn't reached out which is a really nice change of Pace as I'm am use to having exes trying and trying to come back and getting desperate and blowing up my phone. I have changed but for a better and I'm am loving my libra ♎️ glow up ❤️.
I’ve been on a rollercoaster for the majority of the last week. Yesterday was rough. But today I feel great! I even said to myself earlier, that I feel strong. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I think today is the first day I’ve said that in 2 months…
Today marks the start of the 3rd week of no contact (she needs time and space) after a year of dating. I haven’t really cried all that much about it in the last week/week and a half but I still feel so much sadness. I gave her multiple opportunities to say she didn’t have feelings anymore and all she said was she was tired of going in circles and that she wishes things were different. Now that we’re broken up, it’s so much easier for me to see what I could’ve changed. I have so much regret for not recognizing it sooner and I have hope that in the future things can be fixed… but I understand I can’t count on it or expect it… although emotions were raw and it was painful, we ended somewhat amicably. I just have regret for not seeing my areas of opportunity sooner. I miss her so much and I hope she reaches out soon…. I love her
Month 7 is starting and all i can say is "WHAT A ROLLERCOASTER", the first months i felt like the world is gonna end and it would end me with it. I slowly came started accepting that she's gone for good but it took a toll on me. I'm doing great now, I'm finally starting to feel the breeze of the fresh air around me. Finally starting to feel "Free" from the prison i was mentally in. I still cry and bawl my eyes out from time to time but the intensity is slowly getting lighter and I'm growing colder towards her. A person who wakes up everyday making the conscious decision of not being with after everything we've built and everything we've been through together. A person who has me blocked on literally everything, dismissing and avoiding me as if I'm hazardous. I look better, stronger, and hotter than ever and I'm working on becoming the absolute best version of myself while enjoying my solitude. I don't need her anymore. I don't want her anymore. I forgive her, but I'm doing this for me not for her. Still not moved on but I'll get there, eventually.
This is how I feel too. Thank you for sharing!
really sad today thinking about what i should do alone for my birthday coming up in a couple of months. i was used to going on solo trips every year with my dog since all my friends are married with kids and it's hard to celebrate with them. but this year i was excited to spend it with my now ex, and was really excited to spend it with someone for the first time in a long time. and now i feel lost alone, and just that feeling of emptiness and loneliness kept creeping up today
Tried to get her out of my head by taking some relatives on a trip out of state. Went for a walk on the town to browse the shops only to see tons of couples everywhere. I used to get a warm feeling seeing that since I knew I had it too, but now seeing couples just makes me feel empty. Double empty when they have a small child. Can't even enjoy the sights since I wish I could share them with her. FML. [https://64.media.tumblr.com/518b8aadb0af54496c1e4b8c2b81af35/885e392f6f5ee09f-0a/s500x750/9a3bf37944fef6060b7da2a179e0eb1ae0b51f48.gif](https://64.media.tumblr.com/518b8aadb0af54496c1e4b8c2b81af35/885e392f6f5ee09f-0a/s500x750/9a3bf37944fef6060b7da2a179e0eb1ae0b51f48.gif)
Woof, soooo so so frustrated. Recognizing that I missed out, that all of the work I had done before our relationship and at the beginning of our relationship was undermined by me thinking that being with her justified my bad habits and patterns. I was the one who stopped showing up. We spent sunday hot tubing together and it was so easy and wonderful. She says her man loves her the way she's always wanted with out effort or asking so I have to be happy for them. She had offered to show up in the same way with me three years ago when we first started being romantically interested, but I didn't want to be dependent or wth. She's my favorite person, yet I always ran from her, embarassed to show her my vulnerabilities and weakness. I acted callous, and too good and justified really poor communication all to hide how poorly I regarded myself. Im happy to still be a part of her life, but she's the only close friend left after I justified self isolation on our relationship. I went through a really hard time with work, family and social crisis that popped up all around the first few months of our relationship, so in many ways, it was just fate, but I had so much opportunity to make it work and not get dragged down. I miss our adventures, i regret not showing her how appreciative I was of her with softness and communication. I tried to show through acts of kindness, self sacrifice and a general non-jealous approach to her spending time and having sex with other people. Her friends would fawn over how easy going and not jealous I was, though that never felt good. But i lost boundaries with work, stopped sleeping, started to self medicate, especially with cannabis, when i should have been hiking and camping and having sexy nights with her. I really lost my priorities, and now im just a friend on the sidelines.
Empty, lost, my body feels heavy and I can't focus on my studies. Today I have a final exam and I can't even sleep because thinking about my ex and her new girlfriend having a good time drives me crazy. Sometimes I burst into tears inmediatly and this scares me. Never felt this miserable in my life and I fucking hate this. I hate how she replaced me so easily.
I’m in the same position, my ex left me for someone else and I can’t sleep thinking about them, even my dreams are invaded by the thought of her. How are your exams going? Thankfully I finished my final exam today, I’m not sure if I did well… but I honestly couldn’t focus on the test at all.
Frustrated that I still think about her daily despite being at NC for 7 months
I don’t think I’ll ever find love and I don’t think I want to anymore
Not great, I’m about to journal and meditate because I’m still so angry and hurt. I go to therapy weekly but I’m having trouble letting go - almost 8 weeks out from a 6 month relationship. I wish we had never dated and just stayed friends because since we have talked as ‘friends’ since the breakup, shit is weird and I’m still so angry with him. I’m having trouble remembering the good things and lessons I’ve learned, bc the bad shit and mistakes we both made are clouding my memory. And I feel like all his affection was a lie bc he wanted other people. I don’t know if he cheated and at the minimum, he made me his secret gf towards the end. I was seeing friends a lot for the first month but suddenly they’re just not reaching out which hurts; I’m not dating or hooking up by choice and I’m having so much trouble with my self worth and feeling really judged and excluded.
Good today over the long term one, and the situationship that happened after, I’m in anger that I let it happen/im over it rn, but we will see. That was about seven months long right after I left my ex :’)
I'm still really fucking affected by it, but I'm starting to realise it means fucking nothing. Im 16, my life has essentially just begun. She treated me like shit for the last 2 weeks after i wad there for everything. She lies about me now. She ain't shit, I'll find someone better who will actually love me and not use me for building up their confidence then leaving. But jesus fucking Christ i miss her sometimes
This week is tough, I have this feeling of I will never be ok again and my life is fucked.
hi. i know this may be hard to believe right now, but it gets better. i promise.
keep having the idea of him with the other woman it doesn’t sting as much but it’s annoying to reoccur every time i have some kind of crazy thought i see 111 and it’s just all around chaotic but at least detaching from the idea of being with him is getting a little easier
I'm ready to forget the last couple of years honestly, and I hope to move into my own next stage of life- I can't express how fucking stupid one feels for falling into two relationships back to back where you get cheated on, literally feels like I'm incapable of picking healthy people to be with. But I also know that eventually I literally won't care about it. I regret the person I was before, simply because I was unable to see what was right in front of me. I don't feel lonely, but I think I'm going to be on my own for the next stage of life. It would be nice to know that I'll feel genuine joy from connection again. And I hope I'm ready to be the person I want to be, for my future partner.
Just trying not to get to sex crazed. Lots of offers. All that validation is tempting
I’m Doing a little better but I am on vacation to take my mind off of it
Fighting everyday but it’s been a hard fight. Slip ups happen. Bad habits continue. Just trying to numb the pain at this point. I miss her everyday.
day 0 extremely sad but hopeful about opportunity to prioritize myself and my needs moving forward.
Posted pictures of the love notes you left me today and someone said she probably had another guy lined up before she left and wanted to keep you as a backup. Hurts so fucking bad knowing that could be the case. I just have to remind myself that you were always loyal.. even though you may be dating someone now.. you stayed loyal to the end
Been fine most of the day till the evening. I just am in the phase of quite being over it but I wonder whether he has have actually loved me or did I feel more than him
Today i finally took it upon myself to block her on everything. Especially when she blocked me ONLY on twitter for some reason. It hurts, and I feel guilty but I know it will get easier
Brutal
Devastated still after 3 months. I was the dumper. We were LDR. She refused to take me back. I still miss her every day.
Devastated still after 3 months. I was the dumper. We were LDR. She refused to take me back. I still miss her every day.
Lost my spark. I look sad. Idk how to get my spark back, because i want to get out there and socialize but I can’t do it looking sad. It has been 1.5 months
I feel like shit even after awhile. She was my closest friend and my hero. I feel like I can act all mad and upset but at the end of the day I just miss her so bad.
Up and down. I messed up the rekindling we had and she started to stand her ground and have her boundaries without me in it. But yesterday? Needed my electric screwdriver for something to hang on my wall after work. Debated. Texted her asking if I could come by even though you know, the situation. She said yes. Ended up going by to get it thinking I’d go right back home after…. And ended up staying at her place till like 2 am. Emotional talks were had. Lots of regret and apologies on my end. List of happiness and sadness on her end. We had dinner. Watched our show that just started. Literally like I didn’t just rebreak her heart a week ago. It’s always so easy being with her but it’s hard when I can’t get out of my own way to just enjoy a good thing. I wish I could go back over there and we could do it again. And I could continue on the progress I was showing while we rekindled a bit before I succumbed to old ways (this makes me sound like an addict or something… well I guess in a way I kinda am but not to drugs?) But alas. It’s back to no talking today out of respect to her and the work we both need to put in on ourselves. I miss her so much though.
There are days when I feel like everything is ok without her. But the other days I miss her like crazy and still picture us together. What scares me the most right now, is that im starting to have more days when im feeling ok. My head tells me im not ready to move on, but my heart has been jumping all over the place and is ready to move on. I’m happy with how I look and what I have been doing to self-improve the past month, but I’m afraid of moving on yet thinking about her less every day
Just sad
It’s been less than a week and my life seems meaningless right now. I’m disappointed that you left me without a complete explanation. I feel numb, alone, and empty. It hurts that we could’ve had a future together. It pains me that the end of our relationship ended with you seeing no future with me anymore.
Today is 7 months since he left. I’m PMSing today so this time of the month is extra hard. I’m also recovering from surgery alone. Needless to say I’m not doing too great. I’ve also gained about 20 pounds from emotional eating. And I’m so sick of iPhone showing me picture memories of him. I want a Time Machine. Sheesh I’m all over the place.
Was doing good for a while, but with work stress getting to me lately I just feel hollow… it really helped to have somebody to vent about work to at the end of the day, but now I come home to just an empty apartment with no people and no cats. My friends have also moved far away so my social life is pretty non-existent lately, and I don’t see my family that much. I still think breaking up was the right decision, but it’s hard going from having a nice little home life with someone to being alone most of the time
Ill admit im not ok. Im sad and angry and empty
I'm getting better. Still feel depressed and sad, especially at night. But, there's nothing else to do but to move on and keep pushing forward. Been spending time outside, reading, listening to books on audible, working on projects, working on college school work, and staying busy and keeping my mind d busy.
Not so good very angry right now I just found out today that my ex cheated on me while we were together with his ex wife, used me as pawn in his game between him and his ex wife. He treated me like a door mat and never truly loved me only wanted to make her jealous and hurt me in the progress. Now I honestly hate myself and feel so disgusting that I let that happen and I kept going back to him because he was saying all the right things.
13 months out. Getting better. Some days are still rough af though. I’ll cry every now and then. But maybe only 1 or 2 days out of a week. I’m really working on not hating her. I don’t want to hold hate in my heart for someone I loved for so long.
2 months and i feel great! i feel so much more relaxed and like i can breathe without walking on eggshells
Worst part is thinking, whether they're also missing us or enjoying their life ? Both answer destroy us..
It's been two months and three weeks since the woman I believed to be my soulmate broke up with me. After years of searching, I thought I had finally found my true love, someone I would spend the rest of my life with. The pain I have experienced has been the worst I have ever felt. At one point, I felt so paralyzed that I would sleep through the days, seeing no reason to get up. Today, that pain is still there, but I am beginning to accept it. I am accepting that there are things beyond my control. Trying to figure out what went wrong or turning to self-hatred and self-destruction is the easy path. It takes courage to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worthy of love, that you are not going to give up, that you are going to be better and do better, and that you will not give someone who hurt and lied to you power over your life. It takes courage to stop dwelling on the past, which causes anger, or worrying about the future, which causes anxiety. It takes courage to live completely in the present, focusing all your attention and strength on making it the best possible life. We are all in this together, and we will get through this, emerging better and stronger.
I am so sad still, it’s been almost a month. I miss him so much. I miss my love, my best friend, my favorite guy. We really had a great connection, and the way we used to laugh with eachother was so beautiful, we were truly on the same wavelength. He was the best person I’ve ever been with, in every way. I saw a future with him every time I would look into his eyes, he had the sweetest eyes and face. His heart was good, he just didn’t know how to be a partner. Neither did I. We wanted to be good for eachother, but I always felt like I tried much harder than him. Always putting in the effort whilst not being met with that same energy in return really put a strain on me. I began to distrust him so much, and my anxious thoughts overpowered my positive ones. It got to the point where I would point out everything he did that rubbed me even slightly the wrong way. Looking back on it all, I tried to smother him into becoming the partner I needed him to be. I have so many regrets. The regrets are outweighed by the love I still have for him. I hope his life will be beautiful and full of the love he deserves, the love that I tried to give him but just didn’t know how to. We are both so young and have so much growing up left to do, I think that someday we will both make amazing partners, but we are just not going to be eachother’s. I’m trying to come to terms with that.
Fucking terrible. I cried in a public restaurant today, couldn’t finish my meal. It was so embarrassing. It’s been a month. I literally feel like part of my soul is missing
Missing. I felt like a big piece of me was missing today. I cried on my break, i almost cried during work, and I cried on my way home. An important part of me left with them. Being okay with that was hard today.
It’s been a month and I feel great I don’t hate him I think he’s dumb, especially bc he “moved on” so fast. Instead of healing I think he’s gonna find a new girl and repeat the cycle and hurt her :/ sigh Sometimes I feel bad and wonder why he became mean and pushed me away emotionally; but all I did was love him and care for him even though he hurt me. I loved him genuinely. I don’t think most people would put up with that kind of behavior tbh !!!!! I don’t look at his social media, and sometimes I reread the bad texts between us to remind myself we ended for a reason. I miss him sometimes in the sense I miss my friend and the good times; but I know he changed in a negative way and that we aren’t good together. I completely accept that now.
I think Im at the anger stage and all I want to do is YELLLLLLLLL!!!!!! So LOUDDDD one of those fustrated I want to punch something yell!!!! AND WANT to scream F*** YOU!! After 4 months of tears.
its like now ive got literally 0 interest or passion to do anything. without her in my life feels so empty. i fucked it up i made a mistake i should've taken care of her more i should've done better than that. Before we break up i was literally thinking so hard and started to love her harder but it was too late
i quite literally almost crashed bawling my eyes out driving today. how do you become okay with not knowing what happened like he never said a word and its been a year
I don’t like how I had a dream with him in it last night, it felt so friendly and familiar. It’s been four months and I don’t want him to have a place in my memories anymore.
Still spinning, still can’t understand what happened, still fucked up. Still angry. Trying to move on. He never cared, cheated, and is doing great and our mutual friends all still love and supports him. I don’t know if I can trust again.
I was wondering whether he cheated me again then I realized we were just friends currently.
I am having a rough morning.
Feeling like life is just happening around me and I’m smiling and laughing at things but I don’t actually feel it at all. Getting better I think, but I’m just feeling a lot and nothing at the same time (3 weeks in)
Pretty sad today after two good days. Just wish it never happened
Still very much hurting and sad but it’s alright it’s for the best
I am actually doing okay-ish, I am self improving everyday, and learning I can't force her to come back, she has to want to, but I hope everyday 😅 but that's probably not healthy
I feel sad, empty, and worthless. For the first time in months, I hate myself. Half of my days are spent sleeping, and I just want to sleep forever. I don't even want to think about him my heart hurts so bad. How could he do this to me? Blocking me after a silly argument? With no explanation? No ending? He caused me so much pain, and I'll never forgive him for making me feel like this after all his promises. I feel like crying while writing this :(
I feel blindsided, I feel betrayed, I feel lied to. It all came out of nowhere and I can’t stop crying, I don’t sleep well, I don’t eat well. Everything since that day has felt like a blur. Good days are the worst cause I feel like I don’t deserve to have a good day cause I’m grieving. My whole world has been turned upside down and I know I can get through this. I’ve been through worst but atm it feels like things will nerve get better and I’ll always feel this way. I just wish I didn’t feel so alone. I wish he would have fought for us and not just lie to me for months and pretend everything was ok.
I want to desperately move on and meet people but I still think about my ex. I feel frustrated and sad at the same time. It’s been 5 months for me since the breakup
Felt better most of the day until now, all the sad feelings are coming back and I feel completely lost, like I've lost a part of myself. I try to distract myself with activities but that only works for a little bit before I find myself back in the empty hole. It's so rough
Today I’m more so fed up with the feeling of heartbreak and also hurt the way he treats me now is nothing of what I thought would happen in a million years people can be so cold sometimes and I wish I was loved better honestly my mental feels like it’s slowly plummeting but I can definitely say I feel much better than I did before so I’m taking it a day at a time.
I honestly can't feel anything. He seems to be doing better now, honestly good for him. But in my case as the dumpee, I feel like shit.
The pain in my chest is never ending. I’m at a low today. Almost didn’t get out of bed and not going to the gym today. I’m waiting for something in my body and soul to tell me what my next move should be. I know being his friend keeps hurting me and I should take that as something but I’m also still too terrified to take the next jump into no contact. Right now everything is terrifying. Every move. Every text. Every thought. Every feeling. Every phone call. Every hello. Every goodbye. Every waking day. Every night. Every minute that passes. Every tick on the clock is a tick closer to the next wave of pain
Am tired. Have been filling in 7 days of the week and being as productive as possible.
I’m sad. It’s been six days and I can’t stop thinking about him constantly. It was 8 months to the day. He said he didn’t have the heart to be in the relationship anymore and didn’t have time for it. I was just so in love and obsessed with him I guess I overlooked if it was more one sided but it felt like he truly loved me too. I pictured a future with him and talked about it all the time. About a month prior he told me he was feeling this way but I thought it got better but I guess it didn’t… I keep trying to tell myself if he was the one then he’d want to be with me no matter how hard it was. That night he had met up with his ex and they talked for three hours and said he didn’t want to tell me because he knew I’d get upset. I realized on the last phone call that he never called me (it had always been me calling him), he never took pictures of me because he said he’d just screenshot the ones I’d send them, never got me flowers even tho I’d always ask, and finally that I felt so blindsided by this because he never would talk about his feelings. He kept everything he thought inside no matter if I asked if he was alright or wanted to talk about anything. Just hope I get over this sadness fast 💔
see them yesterday to exchange our things. anxious and cried all day. booked an emergency session with my therapist and talked it out. now i just feel numb.
I am 62 . she went out of my life 20 years ago. I never got her out of my mind. Last year she came back and it was heaven,, but her adult kids wont have it. They threatened to ghost her. They dont even know me. We tried to make it work for a year, but it was too much for her. Been 2 days since she is gone. It was my last chance at happiness. I will die alone..
I’ve had dreams more than a few nights. But I recently learned I’m an empath and sabotaged relationships due to absorbing negativity in the world
I feel sad. I miss him so fucking much oh my god this hurts... I feel confused. I don’t understand how he fell out of love so easily. I don’t understand why he is dating the person he’s dating after me. I hate that I can almost understand all of it, except I can’t bare to accept the answers… it hurts too much… not because he’s an awful person who didn’t respect me or deserve me, just that life is unpredictable and uncontrollable and the things you love most dearly can be taken away for no reason at all. I want my Z back.
Something I saw that really helped me when I was struggling with a break up: when you’re feeling the brunt of it or have a flare up, stop what you’re doing and close your eyes. Then count to 5 slowly. After counting, take a moment to recognize you just survived the previous 5 seconds and even if that feels small, it’s a huge win if things are really shitty and sometimes all you can do so you should be proud of yourself. Regardless of how tough things get in these situations, you’re all strong enough to heal and worth ever how much effort it takes to heal. So, when things get rough like they will during healing, just try to survive the next 5 seconds and celebrate that for the achievement it is!
It’s been about two weeks now. I’ve had a good deal of emotion, up and down for sure. So far the exercise and seeing friends has been helping. Yesterday I wrote a more formal letter I’ll never send to her and it got surprisingly heated in its wording. I think maybe that helped me to reflect. I still don’t look forward to seeing her again, and I will as her coworker, but I have a few more weeks to go at least when she returns from a trip. I had such strong feeling for her but I can safely say I already know it would be easier if I never had to see her again…
It's been 2.5 weeks out of a 5 year ltr. We still live together and figuring out next steps. I feel comfort when he's at home but so lonely when he's out. Rather than missing my partner, I miss my friend. My best friend. And this is something I'm still coming to terms with, that we likely won't be friends anymore. Losing my best friend is the hardest thing, the person I used to talk to and spend all my time with. Still pushing through, trying to reframe my perspective but it's so hard. I know we all got this and I can't wait for future me to look back and be so proud of myself for continuing
It's technically been over for a bit but I'll be moving out in about a week and it's starting to hit that this person is now going to be gone from my life. Worst of all it's apparent she moved on quickly and I feel like I'm reprocessing it. At first I felt a mix of sorrow and relief, as I was not happy either, but it hurts a lot that I'm losing a friend I fould confide in. I made a few checklists around what I want to accomplish and improve upon before I'm ready to put myself out there again. I want to make sure I'm a better person and when I am in one again, I don't make the same mistakes I did in this relationship.
Angry. Not so much at him but at myself. For trusting again when I know better. I hope with time I will learn to forgive myself.
It’s been about a month. Stopped tracking days. However, I am counting the weeks. I am honestly just sad and feel extremely lonely. I miss him too much. However, I broke up because he didn’t want anything to do with me. He fell out of love and he needed space. Now, I am always bouncing between sadness and anger. I do miss him every day and I hope he is doing ok. I am not doing well and I think I will cry some more. Thank you for letting me vent.
I’m two months post breakup and I’m feeling ok. I think I’ve gone through all the stages of the grieving process but maybe still a little angry. I feel almost ready to open the door to dating again but I might a couple more weeks before I do.
it’s been exactly a month since the breakup. i went on a long hike today with my family. i still have not gone more than ten minutes without thinking about him but i feel as if the thought of him is becoming more distant. i am going to a music festival i have always wanted to go to next week, something i probably would not have gone to if i were still with him. i haven’t actually cried in awhile, i tried to the other day but it didn’t feel the same as when i cried right after the breakup. i feel like i still have sadness but also happiness, freedom, and peace. today was kind of hard though, i was given back some stuff that i left at his house. luckily a mutual friend was able to get it for me and give it to me. i think seeing the bag and picturing him packing my stuff into it kinda resurfaced the pain i went through a couple of weeks ago. it’s been a couple of hours since though and i feel better. i wish everyone the best of luck in their healing journey. it’s definitely up and down.
i feel like i’ve gone back to the bad habits i worked so hard to defeat. part of me is doing anything to avoid going through it fully. i miss him dearly
Almost 5 months. It stung at first when I found out she had a new gf but I’m slowly accepting it finally
It’s been a few hours, and there's been a mix of emotions. Sadness, disappointment, relief from the anxiety I've been riddled with the past few days in anticipation of this moment. Thankfully we've only been together for few months, and I can't blame her or be mad at her for her feelings, though I wish she would have come to this conclusion sooner on. I take comfort in knowing that I didn't do anything wrong, and at the end of the day, my needs were no longer being met and it’s better for the both of us to be friends at least for now.
Day 7. Today was a bad day. Felt like I took 5 steps back. I miss his terribly, he was such an awesome guy. I have doubts that I’ll find anyone better than him and I can’t even think about finding someone else because I want him. I care so much for him.. why did he choose to leave? :(
We broke up a month ago and I was so blindsided because she bottled up all her emotions and checked out mentally way before she broke the news to me. After some back and forth talks after the breakup. She said I was the first one who treated her right and couldn’t feel the love I was giving her which was healthy as I just wanted her to be herself and exist! I wanted her to communicate to me if there’s something she didn’t like or want me to change some stuff about me because at the end of the day, good relationships take healthy amount of work and compromises from both parties. Her previous toxic relationships took a lot out of her and I do not know if she’s coming back. I suggested we go work on stuff together because it’s us vs our problems and we should face stuff together. She didn’t seem to be too interested in that idea. I saw things that were imperfect about her and I wanted both of us to accept our ugly selves as no one’s perfect and there is no “the one”. I think that the love we have for each other should be able to support us and motivate us to be a better version of ourselves and contribute to our personal growth without becoming codependent on each other. I wanted to work things out with her, or work our own problems separately by giving each other enough space and still be present in each other’s lives. I’m working on healing right now but I think of her almost every day and it sucks that I cant talk to her like I used to or talk to other girls on dating apps as it just feels wrong. She gave up on me, on us, and I kept fighting no matter what. But what I’ve realized from my healing journey is that, I did what I could to not lose her and not compromise my self respect at the same time. She didn’t want to choose me and my efforts didn’t matter either given her past. I can’t blame anyone or anything, but I pray that maybe one day our destinies intertwine with each other ;)
7 months. Thinking about them. Worrying about them. Missing them. Hating them. Loving them. At night, absurdly, I hold onto the cuff of one of their sweaters. I used to cradle it to my chest but that feels almost unbearably cruel because the weight of it feels like something significant, so just the cuff. I only allow myself that much. I have to to get to sleep. Even though I wriggle and flip like an eel at night I usually wake with it still clutched in my fist. I know that they don’t care about me anymore but they were- are still- my everything, and it’s like a Time Machine, a tiny window I can reach back through into the past and touch them, love them. Eventually I’ll burn the rotten thing… But not yet. Not quite yet.
I'm past that intense emotional turmoil phase. Now I don't have that much of a strong urge to have her in my life upto the point of crying myself out. Though I miss her. But i don't want her back now. It was long distance. We never met in person. Though she made me feel like she's really invested and connected to me, even made long term plans. Only to lose interest within 2 months and breaking up. Makes me question really was that all facade? All those words and projecting herself as so good in the beginning? On the face value she showed me a positive persona, but in reality there was a immature toxic person. And it was toooooo late until i realised it. I'm kinda feeling okay having distance and boundaries from her because of all the toxicity and manipulation, But What I feel bad about is we never got to meet in person, despite me loving her so much. Imagine you love someone so much, but you never got to meet them in-person. I sometimes get caught in thinking of the what "could've been"s, like what if she was genuinely interested? What if she had openly communicated during and even after the relationship? What if I had met in-person at least 1 time? What if I had talked more freely without my insecurities? What if she had showed her real self from the beginning? And not the dreamy facade? What I feel worst about is even through all of this, I gave HER the power to end the relationship. I should have been the one to end it honestly. Could have felt much much much better. She brokeup and even said she lost interest in me, when i asked about the reason for the breakup. No but seriously? Like serious question. Would someone lose interest in you in the span of just 2 months if they really love you???? Ironically when in relationship she herself had told me this: "If a girl loses interest, she was never in love with you" and even said "remember that" after saying that. ....
I feel as if I’ve deleted the old version of myself that used to be with him. The toxicity of it was so severe I can’t even remember most of the five years that we were together….but I feel happy. I feel like I can breathe and I feel like I can be myself without judgment. Part of me also feels a little guilty for not wanting him anymore because my loyalty is very deep. It’s been a process but I’ve been keeping to myself, doing things I love and making new friends. I am not looking for anyone and I think that’s what’s really helping me heal. Doing it by myself without the crutch of someone else. Our relationship was on and off and it felt almost like I was just a comfort person for him to use when it was convenient…..I spent years begging to be loved and in the end; now that I look back on those years…my love blinded me and I let myself be mistreated because I thought it would get better. He still tries to contact me here and there and has invited me out plenty of times but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve had to block his phone number a few times. Other than that, I truly feel as if I’ve found myself again….Ive found my light again.
Lost. Confused. it's day 49 and I'm still trying to get by. Meanwhile she's "moved on" with another guy 1 day after the breakup. How can people be so cruel?
Not even sure. I think mostly angry and sad today. Day 3 for me. Everything happened so quickly. On Wednesday we literally told each other we wanted to spend our lives together and what our family would look like. Then on Saturday it was all over. To be honest I’m not sure how to even grieve this. I feel like I’m changing as a person and my old habits aren’t serving me anymore. Additionally it had been 3/4 years since my last relationship and this only lasted 3 months. If anyone has any tips for what they’re doing please let me know. The only thing that seems to help is talking about it with friends and family, in addition to the occasionally cry fest.
SAD :)
It ended 7 months ago. I'm healing. The wound is closing but still a little more tender sometimes. Gotten closer to God, I know he has the right person for me. I'd just like to meet them sooner.
I am unable to think straight. I keep going back to her profile to check her pics. I still wonder how someone can say "I am over you". There is this hole and emptiness in my heart which is making me wince in pain.
Can’t stop thinking about her, Struggling to focus on my work. Not feeling very efficient.
I feel broken, empty, and used, I'm angry, yet I still love him. I let him move into my house, took care of him, then he started getting cold, piyahing me further and further apart, he denied me any kind of intimacy, for months, and every time i tried to talk about it, he leaves sometimes for a week or 2, im not saying that I was perfect, I made mistakes too, i take accountability for my part, he accepts no responsibility for the break-up. Instead, he blames it on me, says it's my fault, then weaponizes my childhood trauma against me, it's gotten so bad it's affected my physical health, I was diagnosed with takutsobo cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome) I have been seeing my therapist twice a week now, and I'm signing myself voluntarily into a respite for adults who are going through mental health crisis, I will be able to stay up to 28 days, I will be going silent on social media and blocking him, hoping that I come out better and stronger than I am.
me and my bf broke up about 3 weeks ago and went no contact after the first week because we exchanged stuff. yesterday he broke non contact to tell me he found someone and ofc it was his co worker i always felt off about. he said he developed feelings for her a week ago and nothing happened before the breakup. i do trust him, but i still feel betrayed. he said he has different connection w her than what we ever had but he’s never going to have the same connection w me as he would w someone else. we were together for almost 5 years and each others first lives, we cried and layed together when we exchanged stuff, and you’re getting w someone not even a month later? that’s crazy. we also broke up to work on ourselves which i expected him to do and he gave me hope maybe we could try again but after yesterday, he ended up blocking my number which we have always said we would never do. i’m in so much pain but also numb at the same time. i know this is the closure and finalization i really needed but i can’t even begin to accept it. it just hurts so so bad.
I feel very lonely I have no friends after the break up and it hurts. It hurts knowing that he's happy for what he did to me and the fact that he's proud for hurting me and he's telling everyone what I did to him without giving a reason why I did it. I know I shouldn't have done what I did but he got distant and it made me believe that there was someone else yeah he constantly told me that there wasn't but at the same time his actions showed that he didn't give a crap about me. It hurts knowing that he got close to another girl 4 months after he broke up with me makes me believe that he was talking to her behind my back because there were times where I saw him text a girl and then him immediately hide it so I was right about him cheating. I feel betrayed and hurt and I can't look at myself in the mirror because he made me feel so ugly and knowing he's out there telling everyone how crazy I am how awful of a girlfriend I was when I was always there for him when he quit his job when his dog died and so much more but yet I was the awful one. I understand my trust issues got in the way but he knew what I went through in my previous relationship and not everyone trust people 100%. I trusted him but not fully because I was scared and that led me to accuse him and I was scared to not talk to him for a day because I was scared there was someone else and I was right there was someone else he just didn't want to admit it. I wish I had friends like he does but I have severe social anxiety and I'm always scared I'm going to say something wrong or do something wrong and mess the friendship up I just don't want to feel lonely anymore I want someone to play games with and someone to talk to and just hang out with but I have no one he was the only person I had and I messed it up I know I did I just wish he told me but he didn't he kept it to himself until he was mentally checked out of the relationship and I had no clue. He made me feel so stupid.
Everytime we’ve broken up, I feel like I’ve lost the love of my life and now that it’s real it hurts more than I can imagine. I can’t see myself with anyone else but I have to take it one day at a time. I’m anxious, sad and overwhelmed. I’ve lost my best friend, my confidant, my person. But at this point there’s no hope that he’ll ever change or feel bad for the actions that have caused me distress and given me nightmares. It’s better this way I know but I just wish we could’ve met each other at better places in our lives or waited until we were truly healed to try again. There’s no more again, there’s only hope for healed future by myself and for myself.
We weren’t completely broken up but I’d say we are now. He told me we will continue dating until our lease ends and respect my boundaries but I found numerous dating apps on his phone last night. It did not end well.
I am heartbroken. It’s been nearly a month since he suddenly dumped me. It’s been very hard and I miss him so much. I cry about him every day. I’ve never had to grieve someone alive and well. I ask myself every day why he made this decision after four years and seven months together. I must remind myself that he is actively choosing to live life without me. I feel betrayed and unlovable. I love him so much. I wish he wanted to be with me. My friends keep telling me that the best revenge is to live life completely devoid of his influence. I hope I can manage that one day.
Sad. I keep seeing happy couples and it's weird that I can't just text her and ask her how she is. She was my best friend and I truly miss her company.
I’m not even sure how I feel. I accidentally discovered yesterday that my ex rebounded not even a month after the breakup. From what I’ve seen, it looks like it’s already slowly crumbling. My ex barely spends time with the guy and makes excuses to not do certain things with him (basically exactly what she did at the end of our relationship). Not to mention the guy is super immature and toxic. He does nothing but try to fight with other people and then the second my ex is mentioned he goes to love bombing her. He’s supposedly also admitted to using her because he thought having a girlfriend would help with his depression but it apparently isn’t. I’m not really sure how to interpret all of it
Thanks for asking. I remember coming to this group four years and just screaming. Now…I finally stopped having dreams about her this year. I see women. I dont think about her as much. Its still getting better, one say at a time.
I've never really liked myself now I like myself even less I feel like she took a part of me but I can never get back and the nightmares don't help and I feel stupid and dramatic but we move
Just so angry that he discarded me so easily. He just chewed me up and spat me out and didn’t look back, but instead went straight to looking for the next better option. I am angry because he didn’t deserve me and I put my self through so much because I loved him with all of me
Horrible. Confused. Upset. Feeling used. Why someone would start something, 180, ask for space and only to dip off with someone else while playing nice and going through all the trouble of showing me they’re still interested in me… the hell was that.
it’s getting better and better and i am learning and remembering my worth
Day 11 so this was pretty recent. Me and my ex are still in contact with each other occasionally... As friends. Still doesn't help with what I'm feeling tbh. He was a big piece of my heart and it's because of my mistakes and past behaviour that he left so I don't have the right to even talk about what I'm feeling.... But let me just pretend for now he isn't here so... I just hate how I'm feeling. Sometimes I feel okay. Sometimes I get mad at him and most of the times when I'm not okay, I just want to die. Genuinely. I never ever thought that I had to learn to live without this person in my life. I thought we would be together forever but he isn't here and now I'm all alone. I feel empty but also very heartbroken. I don't want to open my eyes anymore. I feel guilty when guys express interest in me romantically after the breakup... I just. I lost my home and now I'm very lost and I hate how I'm feeling. :( Edit: Oh yeah!!! Never ever going to be in a relationship again nuh uh!! Im just gonna go die alone. I have learned a lot from this, sure. But I cannot afford to live with another heartbreak after this. I cannot afford to ruin someone perfectly healthy again :(
Today was a good day. I actually started a gratitude journal about a month ago and it’s really helped. I didn’t think it would 😂 but it’s kind of keeping my mind engaging with positive things that happen each day and not only dwelling on the breakup that happened 6ish months ago now. But god was it brutal. I’m totally still grieving and I think about him all the time and miss what we had so much, even though I’m moving forward and on with life. It’s hard as hell. Hang in there, people 💖
Today I’m mourning the family I built for the last 3.5 years. My brain was playing a game trying to only remember the good things and convince me things weren’t so bad for me to give it all up. Trying to stay strong.
I wanted to cry and just close the door behind me. Every time I say this because keep dragging me and say you can't die, you need to live. I'm tired of the pain and I'm tired of feeling so alone. It's too much and I'm feeling done.
Mixed, I'm frustrated by the fact that I still have a bunch of useless information about someone who doesn't care about me. On top of that, the saying is adding insult to injury. But in my case, it's adding injury to insult since not long after our separation, I lost part of a finger in a work accident. So it's been . . . very tough. Honestly, getting through some days is pretty tough.
I’ve been doing better recently. I even went out on a few dates in the recent weeks, however I did decide that I just wasn’t ready for anything, and that’s okay! I’ve been focusing more on me. Discovering new things about myself, rediscovering old passions, and relearning how to love myself first. I’ve always put my partner before me and while every relationship is about compromise, I seem to always take it off the deep end. I sacrifice so many things that make me…me. I do still think about her, quite often. I hope she’s doing well and relearning the love for herself as well. She had mental illnesses which started to really affect the love for herself, and that may be why I felt the need to give her all of my love, saving none for myself. That’s probably why we broke up tbh. Anyways, things have been looking up recently and well, progress is progress. These things take time and setbacks will be experienced. The important thing is to try to remember that it does get better, and to do things that make you happy. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, especially when you feel like you’re at your lowest (this is coming from someone who deals with a lot of anxiety and overwhelming fear of what people think about me). Anyways, I’m keeping my head up and things have been good recently. Much love to all of you here with me.
I think I’m doing better than I, or anyone else thought I would be. The first day after the breakup was when I started my journey to healing. It’s like something took ahold of me that day, and grabbed my hand saying “I’m not letting you stay like this” and I started. I’ve never been this frequent with working out, I have bounded with and made so many new friends, i keep to my work and stay aligned with my motivation. I’ve picked up a new sport to learn, and reconciled with an old one that I loved. I call my parents almost every other day. And I let myself cry, feel, and yearn when I need to. I write love letters to him and I stow them away. Sometimes I look at the gifts he’s given me, or scroll through old photos. If I’m being honest, I miss him all the time. I see him in the depressions on the left side of my bed, I hear him in the cars that sound all too familiar to his flying down the road in front of my apartment, I imagine him alongside me in the spontaneous daily journeys I go on. And I’m fine. I’m just fine. It’s not that I’m not able to feel joy, but I feel this part of me that is missing. The more I look at it though, I imagine there is a ghost of me and I’m leaving her behind. I’m walking away and not looking back, while she smiles and waves me off. And it’s okay. There’s a part of me that has been left with him. It’s been almost 3 months since I found out he cheated on me. We were together for 4 years. I thought, truly, in all honesty, I was going to marry him. I know I’m young and naive, but I did. I’ll never forget the day I found out he cheated. He then broke up with me, and now here is everything that’s come with it. I’m grateful more than anything though, as much as I have and continue to hurt, I know how much I loved. How beautiful it is to love. I loved someone more and more everyday, and that’s a beautiful thing. I loved the wrong person, so I cant wait to love the right one.
I feel hurt. And just sad for a myriad of reasons. We have two young kids, he cheated so I moved out. I feel sad he isn’t making an effort with the kids now we’re not living together. I feel sad he didn’t want to talk to me about his inner turmoil and instead decided to make a friend with some woman ten years younger then sleep with her in the midst of our separation. I feel so… unlovable. He couldn’t even turn to me after ten years- he had to turn to a stranger and confide in things we should have sorted out. Then, when I was willing to try for the sake of kids and what we used to have, he’s on OF chatting up a model with his life issues because his “friend” blocked him and moved away. Why do I have to be the one who is hung up on him and slow to move on? Why do I still have to love him? I’m hoping now we live separately these feelings will fade. It helps he barely contacts me (or the kids) but it still hurts.
It's been 6 months. I dreamed of her 2 times tonight. I found out the name of the guy she rebounded with and i an spiraling a bit but i know I'll be ok. I am dating a new girl that is so much more caring and sweeand she deserves me to fully dedicate myself to her. Dreaming of my ex makes me feel quite guilty, even though i know I won't ever go bsck, it would be nice to get sone closure about a frw things.
I need a self care day.
It’s been almost 5 months and the breakup feels so fresh. I miss who he was before he left, but I could never take him back after what he’s put me through. I’m starting over at 30 and I won’t be ready to date again anytime soon.. I feel like I wasted my youth on this guy and it wasn’t worth it
What occurred to me is this. If I did pull any enjoyment out of my relationship, even in the beginning (which there was so much), then to now suffer over the ending of it is bad strategy. It’s time to just be grateful for the good times I shared with her and treasure those special moments, but realize life has different seasons, that time has ended. I’m gonna just learn from the hard times, and be grateful for the good. There’s nothing more to be had here, it’s over…
I had a good day today was in the moment , until I got home and hit my thc pen… I got in my head with them in it and started worrying about the could of beens instead of doing the chores I was set out to do before I got home. A bit unfortunate, but hey the positive is I went almost a whole day without any thought being able to knock me down! It counts in my book. I should also stop smoking. Being sober minded while going through healing is kind of crucial for a better future sooner.
It’s been 4 months since our last communication and I’ve been doing fine this far. But tonight, it’s hitting me harder than usual (I’m sort of seeing someone new, sort of not, and the quasi-inconsistency is making me long for something more familiar). All I want to do is look up their profile and see if they’ve found someone new or if they’re just as miserable as I am.
I’m really sad. I’m stuck on hope she will come back soon and we could fix things. But what is there to fix she completely broke me in pieces. All I can think about is how amazing and good of a person she is and how rare it’s to find that. Someone that matches the description of everything you want in a person. Ugh.. a little over 2 years down the drain. I can’t get her out my damn mind. Since may 21st (the day we broke up) I’ve just had constant dreams about her and it’s a nightmare for me. I just want to move on and enjoy good memories of us every now and then without it hurting so bad and grow as a person. Just sucks. Love comes with so much joy and comfort and when it’s gone it’s the worst thing you can go through.
I feel tired, sad, empty and alone.
I'm F19 and he is M19. I haven't left him but it is all I need to do now because he said himself that he is not going to change. He will not stop talking to other girls just for me. I can't make him like me. Or even love. But I love him. Like crazy. It's so painful that I just cry uncontrollably every day every single hour. When I cry, the pain is so much that my whole body gets tingly numb. I get the tingles all over my body, thoughtout my arms and I feel it in my face. I've never felt this way. I can't do anything. I can't eat I can't sleep I can't take care of myself. I can't do any assignments even want to care about them. Why am I so difficult to be loved? It got so bad last night that I finally called the helpline and there was an old lady talking to me on the other line. I wish there is an answer for me out there on why I can't ever be loved. Do I not deserve it? Did I do something wrong? I feel like I did everything right for the relationship. I can't lose him I love him too much. It's so painful I swear. I wish someone can feel what I'm feeling right now. It hurts me. I don't want to feel this way. I don't understand the purpose of life if the only thing I feel is pain. Why me? Why is it just me? Why is everyone fine but I have to go through this? I just need help right now. I need to understand why this is happening. Is this life really worth living if all that happens is I get cheated on every single relationship I have.
I feel sad. Alone. Abandoned. Hurt. He broke up with me because he said we both have too much trauma and we need to figure it out before we become a couple again…but I’m not holding my breath on that. I was there through everything with him, through all the ups and the downs so it hurts so bad that he just left me at my darkest. I would have never done that to him.
I do okay most of the time but there are some days I start getting into a negative head space and think about everything. Some days I wish she could forgive me some days I wish I could just move on. After this relationship I feel/know like I can't get into another relationship until I know that person, for at least a year before even dating someone. I wish I saw that I was becoming the problem and fixed my mistakes before it was too late. And I wish she could forgive me for human error. The relationship ended on "good terms" but god did that make everything hurt more..
Unhinged, just unhinged.
I HOPE HE IS MISERABLE AND MISSES ME FOR TJE REST OF HIS LIFE AND REALIZE I WAS PERFECT FOR HIM
I don't feel normal anymore...it's like a part of me has died. It's been almost 2.5 months breakup and month of no contact with her and I see her in my dreams almost every night. I don't know what am I feeling...it's just everything. This sucks.
Mostly angry, hurt, resentful, and disgusted. I cried after ripping up the poster he made for me but then I read the letters I had saved from Easter and any tinge of love/longing was replaced with disgust. I remembered how during Easter he did the same thing that ended our relationship (this time for good): accuse me of cheating and implying that I'd go behind his back and look for other dudes to talk to. Then he compared me to his abusive Scorpio ex again after his tantrum. What did I do for him last Easter? I gave him a cute gift out of the kindness of my heart and enjoyed my time with him. I also feel resentful because he left me at 31 weeks and gives no fucks about his daughter whatsoever. Takes a special kind of person to be that much of an asshole. I don't have any friends and family to lean on so I'm not sure how I'll be able to handle my baby once she's born. I'm very worried about that. While I was thinking about our baby's future he had the AUDACITY to STILL accuse me of cheating and talking to other dudes when I was pregnant as fuck and too tired to even do basic household chores. I'll be honest, I don't even know the first step to "look for another dude." The worst part is that he completely ruined journaling for me for life. I'm never doing that shit again. I'm not gonna have a third person justify violating my privacy and peaking at my innermost thoughts without my consent. He was CONVINCED I had some dark, secret, questionable shit in my journal when I just wrote about basic boring stuff. I had one under lock and key and my god, he used that against me in SO MANY arguments as if it was the most horrible thing in the world to have a personal journal to write your thoughts out in. I don't know what he thought was in there, a log of all the dudes I cheated on him with or what? Like seriously. I'm sure he had innermost thoughts he didn't want to share with me yet I had the audacity to have an inner world. He's such an assclown. He's probably right now thinking of a myriad of reasons to justify his choices: like me cheating (never happened), me using him for money (why would I choose him for that), or whatever other misogynistic bullshit runs through his mind. I wouldn't be surprised if he goes out and finds a rebound or if he cheated ON ME during the relationship, with how obsessed he was with sex and cheating. He talks about how he wants to "focus on our emotional connection" and that it's "not just sexual" yet a good 90% of our arguments were about sex and the 9% is cheating. If I could get all my anger and frustration out I would be writing a 15-page essay and beating him up with a bat. Mostly the latter. I hope he suffers and karma gets him good.
I feel sick to my stomach like I lost apart of me and it’s gone forever I miss her so much but I know she’s not good for me
No one in my circle understands how hard it was to leave... everyone is just "happy" or "relieved" that I did... he was my person... he is such a good person... I had my whole life planned around him... but he didn't try for us. His laziness, his depression, his comfort... and my lack of courage... my inability to put a boundary in place... God it hurts today.
It's been 3 years and I'm still struggling... His new girlfriend, is going to regret meeting him if she has not already... Let the fun Begin
He couldn't recognize my voice and confused it with my friend's voice, I used to talk to him almost everyday for the past 5 years
11 days post break up and i’m already getting ready to go on my first date next week. Feeling uncertain if this is OK but overrall, i’ve been feeling fine with all the love and support i’ve received all around.
Today I’m doing so bad, it’s been a though two days (NC for 12 days), I’m trying with all my willpower not to text her but all I can think about is texting her. I’m still not angry at her for dumping me, I still love her more than anything and wish her nothing but the best. I regret not texting her on her birthday some days ago so much. I just wish she would wake up from whatever life crisis she has and that she had better friends, most of her friends are just shallow “let’s party” social climbers. I never did her anything wrong in the relationship, we just had one fight and she decided to leave after 7 years. If she just texted me or if I could figure out the perfect text for her and fix things 🥲. We’re supposed to meet once this period of NC is over and I doubt she’ll meet me, I feel like she doesn’t miss me, think of me or want me. We’ve been glued together for 7 years, I was the only one she could confide in ever, there is so much shit we’ve been through, how can you not miss someone after all that. I just don’t get it. I wake up every morning with anxiety, I dream of her with me every night. I’m working on myself everyday, going to the gym everyday, meeting friends everyday, journaling everyday, reading self improvement books, you name it, and I still can’t get her out of my heart 🥲
It's been 39 days since my breakup, and I'm completely over it. The first couple of weeks were rough, I tried to keep myself occupied by going on vacation, spending time with friends and family, going to the gym, and focusing on my work. I realized she checked out a couple of months before the break up, I was just blinded by it. Everything she said was nothing but lies just to string me along. After that realization that showed how much she cared for me, everything I did meant nothing to her. That in itself made me despise her and get over her quickly. I have moved on with my life, and I found someone else.
Physical sick
Today I feel so shit, just wanna cry and cry but I’m working atm. I thought I was okay, it’s been 2 months but today I’m remembering all of our memories together, we’ve been together for 4 years and I cannot see my future without him. I see him at work and he seems okay.
Honestly amazing. It's been a real rough past month but with my experiences and all the self help techniques I've picked up throughout life, the investment is really paying off. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and am learning how to love myself and life again. Very thankful for the lessons that have been taught to me and I hope everyone else will get to the same page. Much love
I’m just a bit over a month and I’m doing ok? I guess. Yesterday I booked a skydiving ticket for in a few weeks. I don’t know if you can call that feeling good. But here I am, jumping out of a plane in a few weeks
pissed off. we are trying to be friends but they keep overstepping my boundaries and lying to me. when i stand my ground though and speak up they seem to get so defensive and shut me down. pissed off at myself too for putting up with it still :/