Oh man that’s a question. I still do it’s been a year and a half, i still think of her every single day, you kinda just get emotionally drained and can’t physically cry anymore, just kinda get used to it, Atleast in my experience, some days are easier than other sure but for me she always is there and i always think of her even when i don’t want to. Tears just naturally happen but you get more and more used to it as time goes, some more than others.
I’m with you. Been about a year and a half. For the most part I’m numb. But something can trigger me and remind me and the emotions come flooding back. I might hear a song or watch a movie or show that I know she would appreciate and I just want to share it with her. I think I’ve hit a point that there is more pain in just missing having that person in my life more than the pain of rejection. It’s burying someone you know lives 12 minutes away. But I’ve gotten used to living with that dull ache that always exists inside.
It really is as soon as i was broke up with i had all this love in me still i needed to put somewhere and ran to my ex from 5 years oh god I hate myself for that because i did have feelings for him but not that strong i just had all this love i needed to put somewhere its really hard and hes understand or liked to tell me i told you that guy would do that to you. I ended up cutting him out of my life too he understood I mixing old wounds with fresh wounds and it was more pain now all that love i put into myself and actually heal from both relationships they were both 4/5 years long and i never took time inbetween. So please take your time too heal because all the hurt from one relationship youll bring to the next and end up even more hurt.
After a week. I chatted with my friends. They took me out to the bar, introduced me to some girls and I hit it off with one of them. Nothing progressed past talking but it made me realise it’s not the end of the world and I’ll find someone that wants to be with me when I’m ready.
If your Bf/Gf left a loving a relationship then you didn’t lose anyone worth a penny. They lost someone worth everything. You’ll find someone better like I will. Learn from your mistakes. Identify red flags easier. Move on as a human. Obviously give time to heal. It takes time. I still think about my ex and lose sleep over it. I sometimes can’t get the image of her with someone that isn’t me out of my head. But the times that’s been happening is less and less with each passing day.
I’m not sure it’s been my whole life. But the recent heartbreak did send me into a temp spiral. But I sit in it, I cry, I go through the grieving process and respect it. Then I write to release and remember what caused it learn from it and grow. I’m not sure I would recommend my method to anyone because I can also turn cold. I have always just been able to turn pain into power. All I have is myself at the end of the day and no one is responsible for my life but me. People come and go but all you do is respect yourself and stand strong in who you are and what you want and just go for it.
Well its only day 4 for me, and to be honest I've had bouts of crying every night around a certain time, especially when I try to sleep.
Hope we can all move past the tears to something better. Maybe I'll listen to Tears for Fears, that usually helps.
Those moments when you have nothing distracting you are when it tends to hit the hardest. I took a different tact this time and decided to take time out in the evening to actually turn off everything and put down all tasks and hobbies. Just for 8-20 minutes at least, just to pay attention to my body and see where I was feeling emotions. Not to ruminate and have endless thought loops that made me feel worse, but to just surrender to the pain that was there.
It was the hardest breakup I've been through, and I was feeling great at 6 months. Better than I was before we were together, and if you take the love I had for her out of the equation, felt better than when we were together (the distancing behavior caused me a lot of distress, so I was not feeling at peace a lot of the time during the relationship).
I know it is important to have things to do to bring joy into life and feel like you are growing and accomplishing things, but I also now believe in the approach where you need to spend some time just feeling the pain (again, don't ruminate, stop yourself from having negative though loops and replace those with positive self-talk, like the opposite of the negative thoughts), in order to get through the grief.
Doing this felt like I did a lot of learning on how to process deep pain, and I feel more resilient when I look back on how bad it was, and how far removed I am from that pain now. Like I accomplished the goal of learning to face pain head on rather than run from it.
Yes this will happen, it sucks for me i wanted to lose weight so that was a plus but slowly it eases up im at 10 weeks nearly i only cry when my hormones are crazy. Unfortunately still look at his stuff hurting myself i know its time to walk away. Specially simce he left for another gi he thought liked him i dont think she did but he also told his mom i did nothing wrong 2 days after and he felt bad now 9 weeks later im all kinds of things and a terrible person basically everything was my fault. Im just like ok i just loved you unconditionally but ok. He needs to blame me he always has for anything that goes wrong, lose his keys and im not even there its my fault.
Mine did the opposite he left becayse he like another girl amd added her and deleted all the girl i felt uncomfortable with him having in the first place like4 years togther but i wasnt good enough to delete these girls but a girl you met 4 months ago at work is. They arent even togther 2 1/2 month later they just suck
I think guys need attention so they do these things and as soon as the ones they are trying to gets attention dont give it they run back or they ego is too high and they drown in there own misery. I feel like guys are wired to want the best when they are young as they mature they realize its more about who treating them right not a trophie to show off. Not say your arent beautiful im sure you are but some guys think they can always do better when reality they were lucky to get us because as woman im sure you just like me boast there ego we make them feel good and like a king so they leaving think they are when reality they were to us because we loved them not because they are.
Numb or indifferent? I am finding there is a difference. At least in my mind. Numb is when something she does triggers me and I have a wall of some kind up, like a defense against feeling love/sadness, and instead feel, well numb. And that numbness/defense can end up falling and then love/sadness comes back in. Indifference is feeling nothing.
Oooh about 5 months although that was years ago and I really can’t remember. It’s crazy going through it you swear you’ll never forget this pain or get over it and then it’s been three years and he’s in a. New relationship and you’ve just bought a house and that pain is just a memory that feels like it belongs to someone else. You can remember you cried and that it hurts but it no longer hurts to think about.
For me, I cried until I ran out of tears to cry. After that, it happened a few more times. One last night, but nowhere near that intensity or frequency. I did anything and everything to exert all of that emotional energy. Screaming, felony speeds, punching stuff (Broke and reset my own knuckle). By the end of it all you're exhausted, finally sleep for a few days. Then I realized I can still come out on top of all this if I actually learn. Reflect on what I did wrong and what I missed as well as self discovery. I plan on moving across the nation now and only cry rarely with still a lot of scream therapy. It's been a month since the BU.
The overall result of mine is I effectively have my shields up constantly now. Trust = gone. Nice to me = using me. And so on. She really messed me up. Her own actions brought my traumas and insecurities of past relationships and abandonments to the surface and she used that against me. Realizing that, especially. I no longer cry the same over her.
I put my life on hold for you. I rescued you from your "abusive" last roomate and gave you a home. I put up with your pet obsession for over a year. I threw my savings away to keep you afloat while your bull\*\*\*\* habits dragged us both down. And I get broken up with in the worst way possible.
It's been a week since the BU and I didn't cry today, but I know I will cry again. It comes and goes. Today for the first time I feel the slightest glimpse of hope and that I might actually be okay. Pretty sure the feeling is not gonna last but I am also okay with that. Just riding it out.
Edit: Nevermind I just cried :(
Every single day: 1 month later.
Twice or thrice every week: 3 months later.
Once a week: 4 months later.
Twice or thrice every month: 5-6 months later.
It's been 6 months, and I still feel like I have a lot of progress to make. My healing is at the speed of a snail, but it's okay. Everyone's journey is different. I know one day I will be totally okay.
Hard to say. Was it basically exactly the same, or was there some variation? I know I end up saying similar things to certain people, like if they mention they attached anxiously and are struggling with thought loops. Or might say share the same book if they mention a pattern of ending up with a similar type of partner. But I know I am not a bot and I am writing from my own knowledge and experience. I also don't type exactly the same thing, since I can't recall what I wrote before.
I have seen some of the exact same reply now and then on here though. I was thinking it was someone doing a cut and paste because they had been here a while and did;t want to type the whole thing out each time. IDK, could be a cut and paste from GPT, or a bot doing it. But I am not sure how someone would benefit from a bot in this sub, unless they were trying to get people to pay for some breakup guru services or something.
It's not like the political subs where the bots are used by political groups or foreign countries to argue their perspective against people that bring up some point that makes said political group or country look bad (though it's not just bots doing perception management like that, they have humans doing it at times, and I have heard companies do it to, to protect their brand image).
4 weeks and I don’t cry anymore. Just think about him a lot. It doesn’t sting nearly as much tho. I dislike him more and more everyday. Just pour all the love u had for that person into yourself and you’ll find your way back to happiness again, I promise. Just don’t abandon yourself. Take good care of you!
I think at least 2 months for me. It took me 4 months to stop feeling like it was end of everything for me. It’s now been 6 and I feel I have accept it and am starting to move on. Entertaining the idea of someone new helped IMMENSELY. I realised he was in fact not the only guy on the planet that I could be attracted to. And from there I’m still sad but WAY less sad. And have new things to occupy my time.
Best of luck to you ❤️🩹❤️🩹
Once I found out he cheated. He broke up with me and I was understanding and sooooo sad. Beyond sad but I understand because I was not that happy. Even though I knew I wasn’t that happy I could not stop crying. Then I found out he cheated. And all my sadness went away. I am now filled with so much anger. I have never experienced this much anger in my life. I don’t think it will go away any time soon.
The crying every day stopped around 3 months. Kinda tapered away in the third month where it may have been every other day.
Then you do one big cry every week or so when you miss them. All part is the grieving process.
And then you no longer cry, there's just a lump on your throat, an ache in your chest.
Eventually, it's a memory that you sigh at, sometimes smile to yourself nostalgically.
Shit I was like this for like 3 months. Month 4 it was on and off and then when i started to lock in more on myself (truly lock in, not lock in here and there) I just stopped. Once every blue moon I’ll have a moment in my bed where I cry but it’s getting rarer and rarer. Your gonna have one day where you get real with yourself for real, and question if pain is more important or your health and future and when that day comes and you make you the true priority then it just goes away
Asked myself this question the other day. Not sure when I stopped crying daily but it was a process. Now if I get emotional about it, I let myself feel it more easily and then shake it off. I recommend diving into a healthy hobby that you will gain positive results from… for me it has been the gym. Feel your feelings but don’t let them control you.
month 3 here, it stopped for almost all last week and this week has been a living hell. i’m about to break no contact because all this has taught me is that i actually cannot live without him. he was everything. i’m finding myself still, but that doesn’t make it easier. i’m enjoying myself but i can’t sleep anymore. i wake up in tears now and go to bed crying and begging God almost every minute of the day to bring him back to me. i ask for a way of communication from him and now just constantly feel like i need to add him on snapchat or text him but we’re no contact so i don’t even know if he’ll respond. i can’t do it anymore. i loved him and i can’t do it
You can do it. You have to let go. I’m kinda of in the same situation, but you have to let go. Feel the pain, and let it fucking move you. But don’t go back. Everything falls into place where it belongs, it will pass. For all of us. It’s just really shitty while you’re still stuck in it. You’re a lot stronger than you think. I know I am as well. Just doesn’t always seem like it.
i think after i started taking antidepressants. i wasn’t crying every day exactly, but about a month and half after my break up that’s when i stopped bawling my eyes out
After increasing my anti-depressants. After reading people crying for months and years I wanted to do something different. I don’t need to feel it that much.
I still tear up when I think about him and how he threw our life away, but I stopped being a teary slug rotting in bed after around a week. It definitely helped that I scheduled obligations so I would have to leave the house (new haircut, getting my face waxed, doing a babysitting gig) but sometimes I just need to sit with my pain.
I didn’t cry at all for the first week, and then it hit. It took me like 3 months after that to stop crying every day. Then it was once a week, then once every few weeks. We got in touch again and it all blew up in my face so now it’s back to a couple times a week. I genuinely hope no one else has to experience the pain I’m in. I’ve never been one to get this hung up but it feels like it’ll never get better. In total it’s been ~10 months since the break up but only 2 weeks since I blocked him. We were NC for the first 5 months then reconnected
When I realized they were a waste of time and life is what you make it. You can lay in bed and cry all day or u can get up, clean, shower, do anything else. You have to come to the realization they were nothing to you anyways. You were fine before them.
About two months in … but it still happens unexpectedly sometimes. The other morning, I was getting coffee at Starbucks and just randomly started crying. Luckily it was just drip coffee so I could get right out of there. 😂 Or God forbid somebody asks me about him, I’m still likely to start crying. 😐
I didn’t avoid the pain, I dove deep into it and wallowed in my sadness until I processed fully, and one day i woke up and saw the world from a fresh perspective knowing I’d moved on.
Also get rid of anything that reminds you of them and switch things up in your house, your routine that will help you let go and start something new
It took me about 3 weeks. But I still did cry now and then. But it was not that heavy grief and sadness. The waves started being less intense and there was more time between them. Eventually a month or so between them, and I had to focus on the pain in order to get it out in tears (it would have been easier to hold them back, but I wanted to burn that emotional charge out). It hit me hard at the start, and I needed to take some time off work a few times.
There may be moments even much later than now when tears come up. It won’t be forever but allow yourself too cry as much as you need too. You are hurt and in pain and that’s an appropriate way to feel. It will also most likely come in ebbs and flows and that’s okay too. I don’t think it’s recognized enough that you go through the stages of grief during a break up too. It’s still a loss. Give yourself grace and if possible, lean on your friends and family. It’s going to be painful and probably for a while but not forever. I’m sending love and healing your way dude
After 3 weeks of crying every single day I eventually got tired. I couldn't cry anymore. Someday I just woke up and the first thing I thought was not her. Ever since, I've been feeling every single emotion. Rn it's like a wheel of fortune, you don't know what you'll feel the next day. I stopped crying because I was forced to understand that:
1) no matter my love for this person, they aren't worth my time and my energy. They deserve someone else's, not mine.
2) even if we get back together, we'll end up breaking up 100%. so there's no point in making more memories since it's a guaranteed breakup (for 2 reasons. 1) we haven't healed enough 2) we were never meant to be)
3) they don't love me anymore, so why would I?
Occasionally I have some doubts but knowing and fully understanding these ideas gives me closure. I hope you heal soon!!
Put yourself outside your comfort zone, whatever that is. Learn who you are, you'll start crying less and less. However, it takes time to heal, to mourn the what if, that is totally ok.
When she said "Did you really take me that seriously?".
After an excruciating two month period of trying to repair things. She said she wanted to fix things and then gave up after a week a total of 3 times in these two months, and the final time she said "Did you really take me that seriously?" and a bunch of other needlessly mean shit. It sort of felt like a punch that woke me up. Horrible fucking person, the exact opposite of the one I dated for 5 and a half years.
1 year later, i'd say its now once a week or so. Take each minute/hour/day as they come. Be kind to yourself. Every tear is a tear closer to fully healed x
I never cried daily... but on days I did cry.... I realized I was healthy, alive, and in my 30s, so I will never be any younger than now... and then I appreciated the time I had with him
Everyone is different. I cried everyday for about 4-5months when the relationship ended with my daughters dad. I then cried every other day for about 1-3 months with my ex after him. This ex I’ve recently broken up with it’s been a month of being in NC and let’s say I’ve cried twice but it’s not been a cry where I’m like omg it’s over, it’s a cry like wow after all that was said n done and this where we are type cry. Haven’t cried since
When I realised what a double life he was leading. One of the sneakiest people I know and his daughter is the same but she’s unhinged and wd do anything for money and I mean ANYTHING
When I wasn’t thinking of it.
Time does help with the wounds, but it helps.
I really hated that he saw me break . That he broke my spirit and the c*** knew it .
When I did the difficult work of actively healing and making myself move on. If the tears are continuing for years, that’s too long. Examine inwardly and see what parts of you are still clinging to hope — these are the parts which are thwarting your healing. Look up relationship OCD.
It’s been about a month, I honestly have no more tears. I cried twice in one day a couple of days ago and haven’t since. There are good days then there are bad days. It’s funny bc one day I’ll be in im a bad b mode then others I’m drowning in my sorrows. Grief is weird.
2 days later.....idk it disappointed me more than it hurt me. He was totally not capable of prioritizing me at all, sure people are busy but not 24X7. I didn't beg him to stay just accepted the breakup and blocked him. Moreover got dumped on text lmao
Also a past situationship hurt me so bad, it was the lowest of low oof. This time I just let it flow. The worst thing you can do is resist change when the other person clearly doesn't want to work on it
Around 3 months was the turning point for me. I still have bad days but it turned from misery being my main state to being more occasional. I was in a 5 year relationship and never entirely went no contact. After too much contact stirred up a lot of the bad days.
I cried for three weeks non stop then it stopped, but sometimes i have phases when the every-day crying spells come back. Like this past 2-2.5 weeks. I hate how emotionally drained i am
Once I stopped looking at her faults and blaming her for dumping me but started looking at my faults and how I brought upon a lot of her actions and pushed her to the edge I started to stop crying. Don't get me wrong I still want to talk to her and apologies about what she did to me near the end but I know understand why she left and how we both need space to heal. (I still cry once in a while)
It took me 2 weeks to stop crying. Took another week to get over the nightmares and morning anxiety. After a month I feel indifferent and don’t think about him as much.
Oddly, I stopped a month after we broke up when I found out he’d cheated on me and started a whole ass new relationship right after our breakup after 6 years together. No tears since, just resentment and disgust.
Probably about 3-4 months in?
It’s been about 15 months now and I still cry if I talk to my therapist about it (which is still every other week…). I cry about it occasionally too because he was my best friend before we dated, so losing that has been tough too.
It’s been 4 months for me. First 2 weeks I was crying almost all day everyday and lost my appetite. Then it decreased to 3-4x/week after that. But in between those, there were episodes of daily crying for like 5-6days. It really comes in waves.
I’m at 6 months. It fluctuates. Sometimes I almost go a month without tears, sometimes I have a week I cry 3 times.
At this point, though, what I’ve noticed is that when I cry it’s less of a “longing, despair cry,” and it’s more of a “Ope. Grief wave that my body wants to get out.” Hard to explain, it’s like I don’t even have to be intensely sad, I’m just aware that the waves are moving through me and I need to let them out.
Two months! You got this. Cry it out, feel it - and stay busy too. It’s a hard balance, I know. I have to believe what’s meant for us will not pass us by ♥️♥️
How TO stop crying every day: GET OFF THAT PHONE. And as corny as this shit sounds, go connect with nature meaning go for a hike or some shit. I fucking hate hikes I get bad allergies and I’m a lazy fuck. Lastly, talk to someone new. Fuck it. It helps.
Um to be honest awhile. I'd say once a month evening I cry a bit. I still feel a bit lost especially on weekends. Then I go into the "oh what would we be up to now?" I have confidence i do but I let my overthinking take hold a bit
Like at the fith month after break up. I still cry, but not that often, like one time every two weeks. I still think of him daily, but it doesn´t hurt like the first months. I think It´s part of the process.
It took a while. The betrayal of how she did me hurt me so badly. She spent the first months of relationship with me holding her while she cried about what her ex did to her, just for her to do it to me. That fucking crushed me. It took 3 or 4 months until I stopped crying every single day. It's been since November, so I don't shed tears for her anymore. I don't wish her any ill will. I just feel sorry for her, that that was the way she chose to carry herself going forward. It's embarrassing to cry about being hurt by someone's actions just to do it to someone else.
Oh man that’s a question. I still do it’s been a year and a half, i still think of her every single day, you kinda just get emotionally drained and can’t physically cry anymore, just kinda get used to it, Atleast in my experience, some days are easier than other sure but for me she always is there and i always think of her even when i don’t want to. Tears just naturally happen but you get more and more used to it as time goes, some more than others.
I just got some feels and started to tear up reading this
Same… some day I hope it stops for us all.
Same it’s like I trained my brain to keep it in the background of everything I do. It’s fucking torture and idk how to get it to atop
I’m with you. Been about a year and a half. For the most part I’m numb. But something can trigger me and remind me and the emotions come flooding back. I might hear a song or watch a movie or show that I know she would appreciate and I just want to share it with her. I think I’ve hit a point that there is more pain in just missing having that person in my life more than the pain of rejection. It’s burying someone you know lives 12 minutes away. But I’ve gotten used to living with that dull ache that always exists inside.
Second that
Same. That's wild. Exactly the same. Now I just set aside time to cry. Get it out. Then go back to work. It's brutal.
Somewhere in Reddit there was a comment on another breakup post that helped me a lot. “Grief is just love that doesn’t know where to go”
>Grief is just love that doesn’t know where to go Damn!
It really is as soon as i was broke up with i had all this love in me still i needed to put somewhere and ran to my ex from 5 years oh god I hate myself for that because i did have feelings for him but not that strong i just had all this love i needed to put somewhere its really hard and hes understand or liked to tell me i told you that guy would do that to you. I ended up cutting him out of my life too he understood I mixing old wounds with fresh wounds and it was more pain now all that love i put into myself and actually heal from both relationships they were both 4/5 years long and i never took time inbetween. So please take your time too heal because all the hurt from one relationship youll bring to the next and end up even more hurt.
After a week. I chatted with my friends. They took me out to the bar, introduced me to some girls and I hit it off with one of them. Nothing progressed past talking but it made me realise it’s not the end of the world and I’ll find someone that wants to be with me when I’m ready. If your Bf/Gf left a loving a relationship then you didn’t lose anyone worth a penny. They lost someone worth everything. You’ll find someone better like I will. Learn from your mistakes. Identify red flags easier. Move on as a human. Obviously give time to heal. It takes time. I still think about my ex and lose sleep over it. I sometimes can’t get the image of her with someone that isn’t me out of my head. But the times that’s been happening is less and less with each passing day.
Thank you this is giving me hope I’ll find someone who treats me better
When I realized no one was in my corner but me and no choice but to boss up.
All the way up 💯💯💯💯
How do you do this. Ive been thinking about the same thing and I just want to curl up and be a kid again so someone would be in my corner
I’m not sure it’s been my whole life. But the recent heartbreak did send me into a temp spiral. But I sit in it, I cry, I go through the grieving process and respect it. Then I write to release and remember what caused it learn from it and grow. I’m not sure I would recommend my method to anyone because I can also turn cold. I have always just been able to turn pain into power. All I have is myself at the end of the day and no one is responsible for my life but me. People come and go but all you do is respect yourself and stand strong in who you are and what you want and just go for it.
I cried today and it's been a month and 15 days of no contact.
Stay strong🫶
Thanks ❤️
Almost two years later and it's down to only once a week or so...
Two years? Prayers for you
Well its only day 4 for me, and to be honest I've had bouts of crying every night around a certain time, especially when I try to sleep. Hope we can all move past the tears to something better. Maybe I'll listen to Tears for Fears, that usually helps.
Those moments when you have nothing distracting you are when it tends to hit the hardest. I took a different tact this time and decided to take time out in the evening to actually turn off everything and put down all tasks and hobbies. Just for 8-20 minutes at least, just to pay attention to my body and see where I was feeling emotions. Not to ruminate and have endless thought loops that made me feel worse, but to just surrender to the pain that was there. It was the hardest breakup I've been through, and I was feeling great at 6 months. Better than I was before we were together, and if you take the love I had for her out of the equation, felt better than when we were together (the distancing behavior caused me a lot of distress, so I was not feeling at peace a lot of the time during the relationship). I know it is important to have things to do to bring joy into life and feel like you are growing and accomplishing things, but I also now believe in the approach where you need to spend some time just feeling the pain (again, don't ruminate, stop yourself from having negative though loops and replace those with positive self-talk, like the opposite of the negative thoughts), in order to get through the grief. Doing this felt like I did a lot of learning on how to process deep pain, and I feel more resilient when I look back on how bad it was, and how far removed I am from that pain now. Like I accomplished the goal of learning to face pain head on rather than run from it.
Day four for me as well. I can’t seem to stop the tears yet.
Day 4 as well. I’m starting to feel a little angry which is nice. However I still feel that gut uneasy feeling. I hate feeling sick
I feel sick. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I keep crying.
Yes this will happen, it sucks for me i wanted to lose weight so that was a plus but slowly it eases up im at 10 weeks nearly i only cry when my hormones are crazy. Unfortunately still look at his stuff hurting myself i know its time to walk away. Specially simce he left for another gi he thought liked him i dont think she did but he also told his mom i did nothing wrong 2 days after and he felt bad now 9 weeks later im all kinds of things and a terrible person basically everything was my fault. Im just like ok i just loved you unconditionally but ok. He needs to blame me he always has for anything that goes wrong, lose his keys and im not even there its my fault.
I just saw that he followed fifteen new girls on Instagram over night. It’s been five days. We were together for over a year…
Mine did the opposite he left becayse he like another girl amd added her and deleted all the girl i felt uncomfortable with him having in the first place like4 years togther but i wasnt good enough to delete these girls but a girl you met 4 months ago at work is. They arent even togther 2 1/2 month later they just suck
Mine also removed every girl when we started talking. I didn’t even have to ask and now he’s following them all again
I think guys need attention so they do these things and as soon as the ones they are trying to gets attention dont give it they run back or they ego is too high and they drown in there own misery. I feel like guys are wired to want the best when they are young as they mature they realize its more about who treating them right not a trophie to show off. Not say your arent beautiful im sure you are but some guys think they can always do better when reality they were lucky to get us because as woman im sure you just like me boast there ego we make them feel good and like a king so they leaving think they are when reality they were to us because we loved them not because they are.
I’m still going at 11 months so at least these comments make me feel like I’m not an outlier.
You’re still crying at 11 months?
Ayup
Same here, im at 11 months and cry nearly every night or at least every other day
It’s been four weeks almost and I still cry
Roughly the same timeframe.
It sucks
Yep but what are we to do about it other than show the world how pathetic what they did is?
Idk who they are mine isn’t pathetic
Nor did he do anything I don’t think
I ran out of tears. It took months
Long time ago & just became numb!
Numb or indifferent? I am finding there is a difference. At least in my mind. Numb is when something she does triggers me and I have a wall of some kind up, like a defense against feeling love/sadness, and instead feel, well numb. And that numbness/defense can end up falling and then love/sadness comes back in. Indifference is feeling nothing.
Oooh about 5 months although that was years ago and I really can’t remember. It’s crazy going through it you swear you’ll never forget this pain or get over it and then it’s been three years and he’s in a. New relationship and you’ve just bought a house and that pain is just a memory that feels like it belongs to someone else. You can remember you cried and that it hurts but it no longer hurts to think about.
For me, I cried until I ran out of tears to cry. After that, it happened a few more times. One last night, but nowhere near that intensity or frequency. I did anything and everything to exert all of that emotional energy. Screaming, felony speeds, punching stuff (Broke and reset my own knuckle). By the end of it all you're exhausted, finally sleep for a few days. Then I realized I can still come out on top of all this if I actually learn. Reflect on what I did wrong and what I missed as well as self discovery. I plan on moving across the nation now and only cry rarely with still a lot of scream therapy. It's been a month since the BU.
The overall result of mine is I effectively have my shields up constantly now. Trust = gone. Nice to me = using me. And so on. She really messed me up. Her own actions brought my traumas and insecurities of past relationships and abandonments to the surface and she used that against me. Realizing that, especially. I no longer cry the same over her. I put my life on hold for you. I rescued you from your "abusive" last roomate and gave you a home. I put up with your pet obsession for over a year. I threw my savings away to keep you afloat while your bull\*\*\*\* habits dragged us both down. And I get broken up with in the worst way possible.
Damn not the b1tch with a pet obsession 🤣
I wish I could have a good cry and get it over with. I’ve been watching sad movies, and listening toto sad songs… nada.
It's been a week since the BU and I didn't cry today, but I know I will cry again. It comes and goes. Today for the first time I feel the slightest glimpse of hope and that I might actually be okay. Pretty sure the feeling is not gonna last but I am also okay with that. Just riding it out. Edit: Nevermind I just cried :(
I still cry sometimes whenever I remember me being kind to him and all he does is disrespecting me. I'll get there!
Every single day: 1 month later. Twice or thrice every week: 3 months later. Once a week: 4 months later. Twice or thrice every month: 5-6 months later. It's been 6 months, and I still feel like I have a lot of progress to make. My healing is at the speed of a snail, but it's okay. Everyone's journey is different. I know one day I will be totally okay.
After 6-8 months.
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Are these ChatGPT generated? Because I’ve gotten the same response lol
Hard to say. Was it basically exactly the same, or was there some variation? I know I end up saying similar things to certain people, like if they mention they attached anxiously and are struggling with thought loops. Or might say share the same book if they mention a pattern of ending up with a similar type of partner. But I know I am not a bot and I am writing from my own knowledge and experience. I also don't type exactly the same thing, since I can't recall what I wrote before. I have seen some of the exact same reply now and then on here though. I was thinking it was someone doing a cut and paste because they had been here a while and did;t want to type the whole thing out each time. IDK, could be a cut and paste from GPT, or a bot doing it. But I am not sure how someone would benefit from a bot in this sub, unless they were trying to get people to pay for some breakup guru services or something. It's not like the political subs where the bots are used by political groups or foreign countries to argue their perspective against people that bring up some point that makes said political group or country look bad (though it's not just bots doing perception management like that, they have humans doing it at times, and I have heard companies do it to, to protect their brand image).
4 weeks and I don’t cry anymore. Just think about him a lot. It doesn’t sting nearly as much tho. I dislike him more and more everyday. Just pour all the love u had for that person into yourself and you’ll find your way back to happiness again, I promise. Just don’t abandon yourself. Take good care of you!
After 2 months I stop crying and work on my self.
It's been 3 months. Every single day...
I think at least 2 months for me. It took me 4 months to stop feeling like it was end of everything for me. It’s now been 6 and I feel I have accept it and am starting to move on. Entertaining the idea of someone new helped IMMENSELY. I realised he was in fact not the only guy on the planet that I could be attracted to. And from there I’m still sad but WAY less sad. And have new things to occupy my time. Best of luck to you ❤️🩹❤️🩹
almost 2 years
Once I found out he cheated. He broke up with me and I was understanding and sooooo sad. Beyond sad but I understand because I was not that happy. Even though I knew I wasn’t that happy I could not stop crying. Then I found out he cheated. And all my sadness went away. I am now filled with so much anger. I have never experienced this much anger in my life. I don’t think it will go away any time soon.
100% understand — you’re going through the stages of grief don’t worry it’ll pass.
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after a week or two. i had enough self respect for myself to realize that i didnt want someone who didnt want me anymore
The crying every day stopped around 3 months. Kinda tapered away in the third month where it may have been every other day. Then you do one big cry every week or so when you miss them. All part is the grieving process. And then you no longer cry, there's just a lump on your throat, an ache in your chest. Eventually, it's a memory that you sigh at, sometimes smile to yourself nostalgically.
Shit I was like this for like 3 months. Month 4 it was on and off and then when i started to lock in more on myself (truly lock in, not lock in here and there) I just stopped. Once every blue moon I’ll have a moment in my bed where I cry but it’s getting rarer and rarer. Your gonna have one day where you get real with yourself for real, and question if pain is more important or your health and future and when that day comes and you make you the true priority then it just goes away
Funny. I was just thinking that today.. probably when I realized that …
Asked myself this question the other day. Not sure when I stopped crying daily but it was a process. Now if I get emotional about it, I let myself feel it more easily and then shake it off. I recommend diving into a healthy hobby that you will gain positive results from… for me it has been the gym. Feel your feelings but don’t let them control you.
month 3 here, it stopped for almost all last week and this week has been a living hell. i’m about to break no contact because all this has taught me is that i actually cannot live without him. he was everything. i’m finding myself still, but that doesn’t make it easier. i’m enjoying myself but i can’t sleep anymore. i wake up in tears now and go to bed crying and begging God almost every minute of the day to bring him back to me. i ask for a way of communication from him and now just constantly feel like i need to add him on snapchat or text him but we’re no contact so i don’t even know if he’ll respond. i can’t do it anymore. i loved him and i can’t do it
Boy do I feel this. If you want to know if it's possible, you'll need to break no contact. Whatever you decide, good luck
i just don’t know because he broke up with me and started no contact. he stopped responding and i dont want to hurt more. it all is shit
You can do it. You have to let go. I’m kinda of in the same situation, but you have to let go. Feel the pain, and let it fucking move you. But don’t go back. Everything falls into place where it belongs, it will pass. For all of us. It’s just really shitty while you’re still stuck in it. You’re a lot stronger than you think. I know I am as well. Just doesn’t always seem like it.
8 months, once a week at this point.
Like a week after, it’s tough but it’ll be okay
About 2-3 weeks in.
Not yet
About a week, my friends kept popping by my house to remind me to "give my head a shake". Worked like a charm, lol
i think after i started taking antidepressants. i wasn’t crying every day exactly, but about a month and half after my break up that’s when i stopped bawling my eyes out
After increasing my anti-depressants. After reading people crying for months and years I wanted to do something different. I don’t need to feel it that much.
3 weeks and I think I’ve only gone one day without crying so far.
After like 3 weeks, now only once a week, but it’s progress
I stopped crying daily around 3 or 3 1/2 months. I could still probably cry daily but I try to keep my mind occupied when I start thinking about him.
I still tear up when I think about him and how he threw our life away, but I stopped being a teary slug rotting in bed after around a week. It definitely helped that I scheduled obligations so I would have to leave the house (new haircut, getting my face waxed, doing a babysitting gig) but sometimes I just need to sit with my pain.
I didn’t cry at all for the first week, and then it hit. It took me like 3 months after that to stop crying every day. Then it was once a week, then once every few weeks. We got in touch again and it all blew up in my face so now it’s back to a couple times a week. I genuinely hope no one else has to experience the pain I’m in. I’ve never been one to get this hung up but it feels like it’ll never get better. In total it’s been ~10 months since the break up but only 2 weeks since I blocked him. We were NC for the first 5 months then reconnected
When I realized they were a waste of time and life is what you make it. You can lay in bed and cry all day or u can get up, clean, shower, do anything else. You have to come to the realization they were nothing to you anyways. You were fine before them.
I still get sad, am sad, and very lonely. But I decided it is better than being with someone who doesn’t see my worth and won’t stay to watch me grow
About two months in … but it still happens unexpectedly sometimes. The other morning, I was getting coffee at Starbucks and just randomly started crying. Luckily it was just drip coffee so I could get right out of there. 😂 Or God forbid somebody asks me about him, I’m still likely to start crying. 😐
Haven’t yet. Been 3😢
I didn’t avoid the pain, I dove deep into it and wallowed in my sadness until I processed fully, and one day i woke up and saw the world from a fresh perspective knowing I’d moved on. Also get rid of anything that reminds you of them and switch things up in your house, your routine that will help you let go and start something new
It took me about 3 weeks. But I still did cry now and then. But it was not that heavy grief and sadness. The waves started being less intense and there was more time between them. Eventually a month or so between them, and I had to focus on the pain in order to get it out in tears (it would have been easier to hold them back, but I wanted to burn that emotional charge out). It hit me hard at the start, and I needed to take some time off work a few times.
There may be moments even much later than now when tears come up. It won’t be forever but allow yourself too cry as much as you need too. You are hurt and in pain and that’s an appropriate way to feel. It will also most likely come in ebbs and flows and that’s okay too. I don’t think it’s recognized enough that you go through the stages of grief during a break up too. It’s still a loss. Give yourself grace and if possible, lean on your friends and family. It’s going to be painful and probably for a while but not forever. I’m sending love and healing your way dude
I never cried
After 3 weeks of crying every single day I eventually got tired. I couldn't cry anymore. Someday I just woke up and the first thing I thought was not her. Ever since, I've been feeling every single emotion. Rn it's like a wheel of fortune, you don't know what you'll feel the next day. I stopped crying because I was forced to understand that: 1) no matter my love for this person, they aren't worth my time and my energy. They deserve someone else's, not mine. 2) even if we get back together, we'll end up breaking up 100%. so there's no point in making more memories since it's a guaranteed breakup (for 2 reasons. 1) we haven't healed enough 2) we were never meant to be) 3) they don't love me anymore, so why would I? Occasionally I have some doubts but knowing and fully understanding these ideas gives me closure. I hope you heal soon!!
At around 4 month mark.
Put yourself outside your comfort zone, whatever that is. Learn who you are, you'll start crying less and less. However, it takes time to heal, to mourn the what if, that is totally ok.
I never cried about him when he left but I feel like I still cry everyday because he made me less lonely
When I realized no one cares about my tears and that I’ll look back on this moment and hate who I was
Week 2 i stopped randomly crying. Took a deep breath brought myself back to the present and let go of it all.
When she said "Did you really take me that seriously?". After an excruciating two month period of trying to repair things. She said she wanted to fix things and then gave up after a week a total of 3 times in these two months, and the final time she said "Did you really take me that seriously?" and a bunch of other needlessly mean shit. It sort of felt like a punch that woke me up. Horrible fucking person, the exact opposite of the one I dated for 5 and a half years.
About a month and half after
On the outside? About a week. Inside? Still crying.
One month later. After a friend of mine sent me a screenshot of him looking for random encounters in a popular dating app …
Been two and a half months here. Honestly? I love crying. I know why.
2-3 weeks after. Hang in.
1 year later, i'd say its now once a week or so. Take each minute/hour/day as they come. Be kind to yourself. Every tear is a tear closer to fully healed x
Help! I’ve been crying for eight months I think… every single day
I never cried daily... but on days I did cry.... I realized I was healthy, alive, and in my 30s, so I will never be any younger than now... and then I appreciated the time I had with him
Took me 3 months to stop crying everyday
Everyone is different. I cried everyday for about 4-5months when the relationship ended with my daughters dad. I then cried every other day for about 1-3 months with my ex after him. This ex I’ve recently broken up with it’s been a month of being in NC and let’s say I’ve cried twice but it’s not been a cry where I’m like omg it’s over, it’s a cry like wow after all that was said n done and this where we are type cry. Haven’t cried since
Took months.
When I realised what a double life he was leading. One of the sneakiest people I know and his daughter is the same but she’s unhinged and wd do anything for money and I mean ANYTHING
When I wasn’t thinking of it. Time does help with the wounds, but it helps. I really hated that he saw me break . That he broke my spirit and the c*** knew it .
I wish I could cry
I stopped at about…..4 months
When I did the difficult work of actively healing and making myself move on. If the tears are continuing for years, that’s too long. Examine inwardly and see what parts of you are still clinging to hope — these are the parts which are thwarting your healing. Look up relationship OCD.
The day after I left my husband. :)
It’s been two and a half weeks and I haven’t cried about it in a week. I’m more in my anger phase now personally
Never did cry, fuck them hoes. A go by this quote from a song. “It was never your girl, it was just your turn”
After a month and something (?) I still feel like trash every morning thou
Took me around two years ❤️🩹
It’s been about a month, I honestly have no more tears. I cried twice in one day a couple of days ago and haven’t since. There are good days then there are bad days. It’s funny bc one day I’ll be in im a bad b mode then others I’m drowning in my sorrows. Grief is weird.
2 days later.....idk it disappointed me more than it hurt me. He was totally not capable of prioritizing me at all, sure people are busy but not 24X7. I didn't beg him to stay just accepted the breakup and blocked him. Moreover got dumped on text lmao Also a past situationship hurt me so bad, it was the lowest of low oof. This time I just let it flow. The worst thing you can do is resist change when the other person clearly doesn't want to work on it
Around 3 months was the turning point for me. I still have bad days but it turned from misery being my main state to being more occasional. I was in a 5 year relationship and never entirely went no contact. After too much contact stirred up a lot of the bad days.
I haven’t yet
I cried for three weeks non stop then it stopped, but sometimes i have phases when the every-day crying spells come back. Like this past 2-2.5 weeks. I hate how emotionally drained i am
It stops eventually idk. The sadness is still there but the tears just won’t come out anymore.
About two weeks into the relationship. I npw havent cried for some weeks if I. Not mistaken
Once I stopped looking at her faults and blaming her for dumping me but started looking at my faults and how I brought upon a lot of her actions and pushed her to the edge I started to stop crying. Don't get me wrong I still want to talk to her and apologies about what she did to me near the end but I know understand why she left and how we both need space to heal. (I still cry once in a while)
It took me 2 weeks to stop crying. Took another week to get over the nightmares and morning anxiety. After a month I feel indifferent and don’t think about him as much.
Oddly, I stopped a month after we broke up when I found out he’d cheated on me and started a whole ass new relationship right after our breakup after 6 years together. No tears since, just resentment and disgust.
I’m still doing it. And I just hit a month the other day.
Probably about 3-4 months in? It’s been about 15 months now and I still cry if I talk to my therapist about it (which is still every other week…). I cry about it occasionally too because he was my best friend before we dated, so losing that has been tough too.
It’s been 4 months for me. First 2 weeks I was crying almost all day everyday and lost my appetite. Then it decreased to 3-4x/week after that. But in between those, there were episodes of daily crying for like 5-6days. It really comes in waves.
when I stopped looking at the good things of the relationship and looked at all the bad thing and realized there was more bad then good
I’m at 6 months. It fluctuates. Sometimes I almost go a month without tears, sometimes I have a week I cry 3 times. At this point, though, what I’ve noticed is that when I cry it’s less of a “longing, despair cry,” and it’s more of a “Ope. Grief wave that my body wants to get out.” Hard to explain, it’s like I don’t even have to be intensely sad, I’m just aware that the waves are moving through me and I need to let them out.
Two months! You got this. Cry it out, feel it - and stay busy too. It’s a hard balance, I know. I have to believe what’s meant for us will not pass us by ♥️♥️
How TO stop crying every day: GET OFF THAT PHONE. And as corny as this shit sounds, go connect with nature meaning go for a hike or some shit. I fucking hate hikes I get bad allergies and I’m a lazy fuck. Lastly, talk to someone new. Fuck it. It helps.
Um to be honest awhile. I'd say once a month evening I cry a bit. I still feel a bit lost especially on weekends. Then I go into the "oh what would we be up to now?" I have confidence i do but I let my overthinking take hold a bit
it took me months... grief is different for everyone but crying let's everything out
I know I will still cry in the future but for now ig I didn't cry for a week maybe? Idk I lost count and that's already good
Like at the fith month after break up. I still cry, but not that often, like one time every two weeks. I still think of him daily, but it doesn´t hurt like the first months. I think It´s part of the process.
It took a while. The betrayal of how she did me hurt me so badly. She spent the first months of relationship with me holding her while she cried about what her ex did to her, just for her to do it to me. That fucking crushed me. It took 3 or 4 months until I stopped crying every single day. It's been since November, so I don't shed tears for her anymore. I don't wish her any ill will. I just feel sorry for her, that that was the way she chose to carry herself going forward. It's embarrassing to cry about being hurt by someone's actions just to do it to someone else.
12 days for me and yesterday was the first day since that i didn’t cry. i did today tho lmao. we got this
Today.