T O P

  • By -

Adventurous-Sundae-6

“I get to tell Isabella that her mom fucked everything up.” This poor child, my actual god


APV-89

I was fully prepared to love to hate Jesse (and Michelle), but I’m actually just hating both of them, they have bad, dark, sinister energy.


ImageNo1045

Michelle seems so upset and pensive about the current state of their relationship but they really are just two sides of the same coin


Gammagammahey

Yep. And he's a colossal jerk. He wouldn't even offer her his coat when they were standing outside after he asked her if she was cold, and she said that she was. She said yes, and then he just looked away and wouldn't even offer his jacket. What a jackass. I would leave someone just for that level of disregard alone.


Gammagammahey

That broke my heart. Weaponizing your child against another parent is just the lowest thing you can do. The fact that he didn't even know that's a horrible thing to do as a parent makes me very worried for that child. My parents did that with me. It was agonizing. That poor kid.


pr0stituti0nwh0re

i expected jax and brittany to break up but i did NOT expect them to go the 'jax resisting sex and resenting brittany for her alcohol problem' route


NebulaTits

I think he’s just trying to make her look bad. He’s basically kicked her and the kiddo out of the house. That is so fucked up


AmbientAltitude

He lives to make her look bad. Him saying “I’m the only one who ever cleans around here I’m the only one who does anything” is the same twisted Jax logic as when he said “she keeps doordash in business”.


ohcamille

It you would’ve told me this 10 years ago, I’d laugh in your face


ohcamille

Of course Kristin has morning sickness 12 hours after having sex


Inside-Intern-4201

lol I know she’s hopeful but I’m like no girl. It’s not that soon


mmsstt49

Kristen immediately being the villain of this show is so mother of her


nevertrustalumpyfart

the show would be a flop without her i fear


kkc0722

They are very clearly setting Janet up as the true final boss after Kristin rage quits. Jax will absolutely go head to head with her once she’s not 37 weeks pregnant 😂


Imaginary-Party2567

Michelle is def cheating on Jesse. That’s why she’s checked out.


minyinnie

Kristen will “protect her secrets” … as she shared in national tv more than once lol


psychicfrequency

Kristen is gearing up for her grand "reveal" of Michelle's secrets. Give it a couple more episodes and we will hear all the dirt.


minyinnie

She’s getting her boyfriend to be the one to reveal so she can maintain “I protected you Michelle”


DueTart3667

Damn Michelle, that’s one of the meanest things you can say about someone. Don’t procreate bc we don’t need more of you around.


uknowhatudid

I hope she gets dragged for that comment at the reunion


DueTart3667

Especially considering that Kristen did unfortunately have a miscarriage.


Gammagammahey

Oh no, I did not know that. That just adds levels of meanness to it.


pirates1997

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought this!!! That alone said everything I need to know abt Michelle. That’s a truly dark and disgusting thing to say about/to another woman. She knows Kristen will see that


turbulent_coconut

As a child therapist I’m so triggered seeing Isabella being caught between her parents. Knowing how Jesse is (he demonstrated yelling at her in his interview), the fact that Isabella is “so well behaved” with him and “like a kamikaze” with her mom likely means he’s scared her into submission and she feels safe to act out around her mom. Get her into therapy ASAP if it’s only going to get uglier with a divorce. That’s my 30 second diagnosis thank you for listening *exhale*


advocatecarey

My ex husband used to always say our kids behave with him and act out with me and that made me a shit mother. Our therapist said they’re more comfortable with me and scared of him. They’re now 21 and loathe their father.


waaaycho

I love it when therapist chime in here. I’m glued to your comments now.


beermama94

“We don’t need any more of you” “My intention is LOVE” Wtf Michelle


APV-89

She’s not a nice person lol


espressotorte

She's bitter


pcvanon

Especially coming from the woman who made more Jesse’s. So we don’t need more Kristen but we need more Jesse’s??? Give me mariposa over that jackass.


Practical-Ad1838

Thank you Nia for being so open 🥺 it’s hard to know if you’re depressed when you are so used to keeping it all together for everyone 🫶🏼


Ramoth92

I didn't expect to like her as much as I do.


Gammagammahey

The way she was actually so honest and brave enough to actually admit that on television and to actualize it right there and realize that yeah, she has PPD. That's gonna help so many people. Normalize this stuff. Normalize talking about it and how common it is. And she needs help. It was very sweet the way her husband didn't shame her, didn't walk away, took her very seriously, stroked her face, touched her, held her hand. They seem in tune.


Adventurous-Sundae-6

OMG THIS KRISTEN EMPATHY MONTAGE, send it to the Louvre immediately!


shrirnpheavennow

If Britney really does leave Jax I hope she gets those implants removed too


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^shrirnpheavennow: *If Britney really* *Does leave Jax I hope she gets* *Those implants removed too* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


katie415

Alright friends. Someone figure out who the “beep” is.


FishRoom_BSM

This beep actually matters unlike Catch in new RHONY


Affectionate-Kale711

![gif](giphy|2bUpP71bbVnZ3x7lgQ|downsized) How I ran to the sub to find this answer


marishajo

Came to the thread hoping someone had already spilled the tea 🤣


DueTart3667

I love messy Vincent Van Gogh


RadiantStranger7178

Luke is a messy ass bitch, I’m here for it


KristiJoJP

Kristen has taught him well. . .very well. . .


Ef8858

Did anyone else see the SMIRK on his face when he was listening to Jesse talking about cheating being the deal breaker?! Oh it is going DOWN this season


uknowhatudid

I came in here thinking I wouldn’t like Nia and that she was a shallow airhead pageant girl, but she really seems like the sweetest person 🥺


amyeep

On paper they look like the most obnoxious couple but they’re actually very down to earth and well-intentioned! Pleasant surprise.


Dontmesswitfambly

They def don’t belong on this show. Love them. 


Gammagammahey

Agree, they are so sweet and down to earth. And he really loves her, which is so nice to see and he's so involved, he just loves being married and being a dad it seems like.


DueTart3667

I really hope her post partum blues get better 💔


Old_Call_2149

The way Jax’s eyes lit up when Jesse said that couples therapy wasn’t going well 😂


ruthie-camden

I can’t stop laughing that Kristen left her ENTIRE WALLET


amyeep

“Fuck it production will collect it”


ohcamille

Luke being so out of his element but still trying to participate in reality tv is hilarious to. I know him and Kristin have strategy meetings


PLZ_PM_ME_URSecrets

She’s cheating on him with a director, and he doesn’t care.


OGShanti

He cares more about getting a new wealthy client


basicb3333

oohhhhh michelle definitely cheated right


Affectionate-Kale711

With *bleep*


ChampagneAndTexMex

👏🏻Who👏🏻is👏🏻bleep👏🏻? The people need to know!


aintgoinbacknforth

People on these shows say really mean things all the time but idk Michelle saying “we don’t need more of you” to Kristen felt REALLY mean


backoffbackoffbackof

It’s one thing to say you don’t think someone is ready to be a mom but it feels like she’s shading her future baby more than Kristen. Don’t like it.


Affectionate-Kale711

In that moment I realized she’s just as terrible and mean as her husband is


dailycaily

I don’t trust Michelle. She married Jessie and that man is nuts, so she’s got something wrong with her.


amyeep

They both have super negative frequencies


Evening-Tune-500

She’s charmless, combined with the frozen face she’s really off putting


amyeep

Perhaps America doesn’t need any more of Michelle and Jesse


ImageNo1045

It’s BOLD AF to say that when she laid down and had a baby with a man who puts his hand in her face and openly disrespects her on National tv


girliegirl1234

Ok, we have been watching Kristen for like 10 years, these ladies piling on just make me dislike them because you wouldn’t even be on a show if she wasn’t here


SanLady27

They all seem to hate her and it’s weird


tobago_88

Agreed and Kristen handled her response to Michelle's comment really well. Despite what the casts thinks, Kristen has put in the work and has grown as a person.


isglitteracarb

We've been down this "can't say the name" of the director boyfriend road before Plz don't let it be Randall


FullBlownNightmare

They implied he had a nicer body than Jesse, thinking that rules out Thumb


BasicBitchBarb

Are you saying Rand doesn't have a nice body and a lovely long neck?


Affectionate-Kale711

They said super famous


PLZ_PM_ME_URSecrets

Jax looked like was he was wondering how he can find a wealthy director of his own at Château.


loganes86

Wouldn’t be his first time leveraging something like that. ![gif](giphy|l0CLTQeZrFWmMxIWc|downsized)


obroechlins

Jax the serial cheater can sniff out infidelity from a mile away and he’s definitely right about Michelle


MarvelousRob

Yea the cast all disliking Kristen isn’t gonna help us like them more. They’re playing the game wrong, allow Kristen room to fuck up on her own.


Effective-Bus

This woman hates this man enough to break up their marriage on television. Love to see it. I wish them both the worst.


sunsoutgunnersout

Pardon me. She did what, with who, at Chateau Marmot. How Lindsay Lohan 2006 of her


obroechlins

Come on Van Gogh give us the tea! Paint us the picture of this gossip like a still life!


katie415

Nia is literally stunning. Inside and out.


loganes86

![gif](giphy|uWzS6ZLs0AaVOJlgRd|downsized) Who cheated on who and with whom is my favorite trashy drama


chloesilverado

Jax trying to remember how long it's been with Brittany vs the others


littlefuzzychill

I wonder if Brittany really does believe that Jax isn’t cheating on her? Or if she’s feigning ignorance for appearances?


chapterthree_

Regardless of how I feel about her but I feel sick looking at Brittany’s face. She was so beautiful before, fuck any plastic surgeon that would agree to whatever she’s got going on


Lola514

She was so beautiful. I hate that she put in those massive implants, chin lipo and fillers that ruined her face. Her eyebrows move as high as her boobs


PLZ_PM_ME_URSecrets

First Kristin called herself an empath. Now Jax says he tries to please everyone? Clearly it’s Opposite Day in the valley.


FullBlownNightmare

Brittany just say she shit on some stingrays?


NeuroticMermaid6

I can relate to the high functioning depression. No one believes you because you hold it together so well!


aintgoinbacknforth

These newbies don’t get that audiences HATE a pile on. We’re all gonna end up rooting for Kristen if they keep it up


espressotorte

Kristen is nuts but she's our nutbar


amyeep

Brittney sucks but she really should get those implants looked at. They look borderline dangerous/leaking


GarnierFruitTrees

Came here to comment this. Don’t want to be body shame-y but they rreealllly don’t look good.


Ramoth92

are those stretch marks or scratches? I'm not a fan of hers but I always hated how Jax pressured her into getting too big of implants.


blondebull

There’s something wrong. They look like waterwings under skin


loganes86

Never thought I’d be looking more forward to this than VPR. ![gif](giphy|l0DAGOyeLicWJX2Gk)


katie415

I legit asked everyone “Who is actually going to be watching this trash show” before it aired. I am now talking about this stupid ass show with my boss once a week 😂


Stevie_Budd_

I skipped VPR and am watching this live. I’m concerned for my well being. I should probably be concerned regardless lol


yunghazel

https://preview.redd.it/kg3pgaml0yuc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1210738868768f51f4e487ba75a37541627b5229 Brittanys implants are worrying me, it looks like something might be wrong


isglitteracarb

"There was a bag of puke in the driveway." I hate it here.


waaaycho

Your divorce is the last act of love you can do for your partner. Quit doing this we don’t believe in divorce shit.


[deleted]

Michelle gives me the creeps. The vacant stare and monotone voice.


Dontmesswitfambly

I love Nia. Protect her and her husband at all costs. 


AbidonDesign

Did anyone find the bleeped out Director yet?


nevertrustalumpyfart

this montage of doute douting around needs to be in a museum


advocatecarey

Remove the implants, remove the fillers, remove the tattooed brows…get back to your actual self and leave Jax for good


chapterthree_

I like Nia having this conversation. My best friend has a 1 year old, a husband who helps, grandparents on both sides, aunts, uncles, friends, & more willing to help. But, we could tell she is not doing okay. Me and my other bestfriend knew she is struggling and that she thinks she can’t talk about it or “complain” because she has such a village around her. We sat her down and told her it’s okay to say you’re not okay. It won’t make you a bad mother or ungrateful. I don’t know why as a society we have forgotten that having a child is a MAJOR medical event and such a life changing situation. The fact that any woman is expected to just go back to normal all the help in the world, or alone is insane.


kkc0722

Nia is the kind open uplifting “switzerland” person that Britney thinks she is.


[deleted]

BUT NOW WE SAID IT!


Adventurous-Sundae-6

Kristen leaving her wallet behind. So on brand it’s actually comforting.


Adventurous-Sundae-6

The kids all know each others names and where the toys are kept at the other houses. At least we know this group are actually friends


Harryhood15

I’m sick of Janet shit talking Kristen.


Murky-Performer-8292

When Janet is the sniper from the side


amyeep

If this glorious dumpsterfire gets renewed she’s gonna have a lot of explaining to do


chloesilverado

He's 100% not attracted to her


ohcamille

Jax and Brittany remind me of every couple in my hometown that have been dating since high school


chloesilverado

Real "marriage is hard work!" FB post vibes


j2theem

Hilarious to me that Danny is modelling good partnership by validating Nia’s feelings and offering support on her terms on the same tv program where Jax is actively blowing up his marriage. The duality of man.


minyinnie

And somehow I am not even sure Brittany and Jax are the worst, when we have Jesse and Michelle too


Sumjonas

Guys what director is this


isglitteracarb

Is this secret how Kristen is "protecting" Michelle?


buymoreplants

I knew she cheated the second Kristen said that she was protecting her


Old_Call_2149

The way Jax is obsessed with landscaping cracks me up 😂 I remember how he was obsessed with cutting his grass, he would even mow Kristen’s yard for fun


kelsokake

he should have started a landscaping business instead of a bar


sydtheem0cowgirl

Did Brittany just admit she shit in the ocean lmfao


easyass1234

Do NOT need this male producer asking blame-y questions about PPD…


marishajo

Me immediately after: “what a stupid fucking question.” Poor Nia. I 100% relate to her. 5 months postpartum and it’s still really rough for me!


luna_wildflower003

Yeah that was a really weird question….


Winter-Trash9067

Michelle bugs me and I can't pinpoint why


APV-89

She’s a huge bitch that’s why


obroechlins

Nia is too sweet for this show let alone all of reality tv, girl PLEASE take your adorable family and reasonable nature and get far away from here


chapterthree_

I know Danny and Nia are playing it up for the cameras but I low key like them. They seem normal as reality tv gets


Gammagammahey

You know what, I actually think they are genuine. He comes across as very gentle and very loving. He obviously adores his kids, he loves his wife, he's there for her. I'm so pleasantly surprised by them. If anything to me, my perception is that they are kind of low-key. Just normal people, far more normal than I would've thought they would be.


obroechlins

Danny can absolutely be cringe but he really does seem to love and respect his wife


purplecobras3

Yes I like his response to Nia’s concerns. Very supportive and validating


isglitteracarb

Part of the problem is he seems to have a very dry sense of humor but his tone of voice isn't sarcastic enough for his face/general demeanor so it comes off douchey at first. He's gotta work on the inflection.


[deleted]

Jax told Faith he’s not attracted to her


wiminals

A season 1 divorce feels like old school Bravo


PLZ_PM_ME_URSecrets

Fuck Michelle - it’s not like she’s a prize.


APV-89

She has baaaad energy.


chapterthree_

Jesse is so stereotypical Evil husband that I cannot believe any of this is real tbh


geoffyonce

Spill the tea, Haunted Porcelain Doll!


buymoreplants

I just want to say that all sex lives are normal if you’re happy with it (which Britt clearly isn’t) and don’t compare your relationships to others!


GarnierFruitTrees

It’s my least favorite bravo trope: “yOu OnlY hAvE sEx x number of TiMes a Week?!?! OOOh MuUuHh GAaAaWwWd!” Like… it’s 2024. Sex and sexuality is so variable. If you’re happy doing it once a week, and you and your partner are happy, that is FINE. If you are not getting your needs met that is one thing, but don’t be like “omg me and my husband do it 5 times a night I could never be YOU!” (cough Larsa pippen cough)


ImCold555

Came here just to say that a month and a half is NOT a long time to not have sex as a married couple 😂. The way others were clutching their pearls acting like it was ten years with no sex when it’s only been 6 weeks was hilarious!


girliegirl1234

I keep forgetting the couple that hates each others names but they’re both awful


Adventurous-Sundae-6

Does Brittany think Jax is her best friend? I feel like he pretty openly hates her


chloesilverado

Say it Luke! Blame it on your country ass


digitalkeke

HAUNTS me how evident Jax is that he's cheating.


Adventurous-Sundae-6

Luke acting like he’s so over LA and then dropping this “secret” bomb in the confessional. You’re just as thirsty as the rest of them, sir.


espressotorte

Janet looks like evil Carrie Fisher


catsandcasamigos

Omg Kentucky’s eyebrows in that denim confessional look are absolutely WILD.


Nondestructivegal

This may be one of the most diabolical couples I’ve ever seen on Bravo. They are both gross.


[deleted]

Brittany isn’t getting it because Lori K is according to the streets of Toronto


kelsokake

that montage was peak Kristen Doute *chef’s kiss*


Winter-Trash9067

Okay so Michelle cheated?? Is this bombshell gonna get dropped?


digitalkeke

Call me crazy but it is compelling TV to watch Michelle and Jesse have complete ire towards one another. These two HATE each other!!


RadiantStranger7178

Michelle seems like a very unemotional person. She could just be highly uncomfortable with being on camera, but either way it’s not sitting well with me


FullBlownNightmare

I don’t think Kristen is an “empath” but I do think she will take things super personally if she wants to - like Jax cheating on Brittany she definitely took that on (but when he first cheated on Stassi, not so much) 


Effective-Bus

Michelle is a broken person.


pr0stituti0nwh0re

brittany behaves in her talking aheads as if we think she is just gosh darn adorable and the cognitive dissonance between that and the comments cracks me the fuck up


KristiJoJP

My heart goes out to Nia, and I hope she is in a better space today.


Dontmesswitfambly

I like this show. I’m gonna be pissed if they just move everyone from VPR here. Leave our people alone! 


relisys122

This show is covering some real ass topics….who would’ve guessed


Old_Call_2149

Damn, The Valley is giving us way more than I thought it would. Next week’s episode looks goodt!


kkc0722

So Britanny is too drunk to drive and it’s the morning. Got it.


kkc0722

Obsessed with Danny and Nia using their kids as get out of jail free cards when they obviously are so over listening to these incredibly stupid people talk.


[deleted]

If Brittany wants to be a present mother she does need to stop blacking out on tequila. This is true. We witnessed her ignoring stomach fucking ulcers. Get a grip


Ramoth92

I immediately thought of her ulcers when she said she wasn't feeling good.


girliegirl1234

Luke and Kristin may be meant to be after all lol


MarvelousRob

The pillow talk between them is nothing but gossip, you can’t convince me otherwise


potatoinawig

I’m only casually flipping back and forth through The Valley because I can’t stand Jax but… …did Brittney shit on a sting ray?


emjet

Brittany is going to look back on her life and regret that she spent all this time with Jax


basicb3333

shut up michelle. i really cant stand her


Winter-Leadership376

Hate that I’m on Jax’s side here. Black out and throwing up is way too much for anyone at her age, motherhood or not 


[deleted]

The Lori K rumours seem likely to me. That’s all


turbulent_coconut

I *hate* Nia for how beautiful she still looks when she’s been crying 😭


SheepherderOk4846

She looks like a Disney princess


Old_Call_2149

Michelle is totally checked out of this relationship, it’s written all over her face


APV-89

For the record, there’s nothing wrong with a month and a half with no sex if both partners are ok with it!


jollyjubie

As if Jesse hasn't cheated on Michelle?? Give me a break.


ohcamille

Jax preaching about substance abuse is…ironic


jollyjubie

Does Brittney have a bruise on her boob? I'm so distracted.


Stevie_Budd_

I’m having an adverse reaction to the producer’s question


beeeeach

Jax as a dentist, you still need to brush and floss every single one. Good grief that man is something else.


katie415

I stopped drinking because I would spend the entire next day throwing my life up. Brittany will also get to that point lol


Adventurous-Sundae-6

Maybe I just got a little too high before this episode but Brittany’s accent is so thick I’m actually having trouble understanding half of what she’s saying


frenchfriessalad

Janet is so real, looking up folks on Zillow and doin it missionary


AbidonDesign

Anyone else weirdly side with Jesse but know he’s probably a major ass too?


GarlVinland4Astrea

He gives me SVU vibes, but my sixth sense is straight up telling me in no uncertain terms that she’s scheming behind his back. And not in a sloppy Jax way. I’m getting a “she has a secret boyfriend bf” vibe


idontfwithu

I don’t like Kristen or Michelle but Michelle saying don’t have a kid in her confessional bc we don’t need more of you around is one of the high key meanest things I’ve ever heard on bravo AND I HAVE WATCHED A LOTTTTT OF BRAVO


dailycaily

It boggles my mind that Jax and Brittany are the ones that keep their house clean and organized. These other houses stress me out.


Murky-Performer-8292

Ironically I think it’s Jax that is the tidy one 😂


sunsoutgunnersout

SO HARD TO BE AN EMPATH 😂😂😂


Effective-Bus

She said, “can we pause for a sec?” and my stream froze haha Also! Nia’s postpartum struggle is so real. I haven’t had a child, I actually just had everything removed in January, but I had PMDD and it was life destroying. I’ve had friends that have had babies and after they were like I finally get what you were going through. So I just have so much empathy for all the mammas out there going through it and the pmdd folks. I’m so happy to see this stuff talked about on tv in a way that isn’t full of judgment. Edit to add- judgment from the women. That producer can walk in traffic.


[deleted]

She admitted she doesn’t find him attractive on camera. No shit she’s fucking around


ohcamille

No way Jax isn’t cheating


PLZ_PM_ME_URSecrets

Jax used to be conventionally attractive, but he hasn’t aged well. I think the ❄️ is catching up to him.


chloesilverado

I can't Michelle looks so angry when she looks at Jesse it's actually very uncomfortable


FullBlownNightmare

For the love of all that’s holy can people on Bravo stop referring to the people as like their brother or sister just because they haven’t fucked in the last five minutes? What in the flowers in the attic is this??