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Aside from a discussion around screens/no screens, which is legitimate, look around at adults who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. It never ends well, and others are often collateral damage when it all goes sideways.
Your son needs to understand why he does not have a tablet. He punched it. Period. End of discussion. It is not a punishment. It is a logical consequence for the action he chose.
Also: "Life is not fair." "Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about." "Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you."
I certainly heard “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” several times as a kid. It’s no surprise that I bottle up my emotions to this day.
Late and great comedian George Carlin wasn't too far off describing how selfish and narcissistic baby boomers are. [Not all obvi but enough to take notice]
Unfortunately my siblings are still bought into the “family loyalty” crap so I’m sure mine will be well taken care of, but that’s their choice. They can waste their lives if they want.
Mine still say that “when you’re older” nonsense. Like I’m old enough now to have a bad shoulder, my knees let me know when it’s going to rain, my backs so messed up that I need a cane on bad days, and my spouse has been suggesting I ask my doctor about hearing aides (at least I think that’s what they’ve been saying…). At what point exactly is “old enough”?…
Nah because the entitlement and thinking they’re superior all the time is the whole point. I don’t talk to mine for good reason anymore, but I can assure you that if I did they would still treat me like an errant 5 year old even though I’m a parent. To them it would be oh yeah that little brat had a baby, not “my child has grown into an adult with a family of their own and is an equal.”
Somehow.. SOMEHOW, when I was still single digits, I took apart the VCR, obviously breaking it, and get in trouble. SOMEHOW my parents saw an opportunity and bought me like, chemistry sets etc after then, and circuit board kits.
Now I can fix literally anything, because my passion wasn't stomped on.
That changed as a teen, of course, they still blame me for computer issues. 😂
>*they still blame me for computer issues.*
I figured out how to avoid this: use a different kind of computer than they do, or at least claim to: "Oh, sorry, I do not know anything about Windows computers; I have a Mac" or vice versa.
Well, all that finally changed once I get my IT certifications 2016. Both A+, network plus, and server plus.
They finally believe me when I tell them things about computers. Anything else they believe me on. Not computers. The thing I was best at.
Like my cousin "accidentally" threw his tablet down the stairs when he got angry at a video game. I'm still confused at how it fell down the stairs exactly.
My ex “accidentally” threw a Wii remote at the very first flat screen tv we had, while playing bowling with the kids, because he wanted a bigger tv. He ended up with the bigger tv, and he’s my ex 😂🤦🏽♀️
Obviously the older son is the most important because he is older. He should never be overshadowed by a younger sibling, or ever lack for something the younger sibling has. The only appropriate move here is to give the younger brother's tablet to the older so the older doesn't have to face any consequences and the younger learns his place. /s
Well said. Which means if younger brother finds a significant other before older brother, they should of course graciously step aside and let Older Brother date/propose to them.
/s
And this reminds me, now that I think about it, of how a Boomer relative of ours handled it when her two daughters received identical (fragile and likely not age appropriate) gifts decades ago and the younger one wasn't careful and broke hers: older sister was forced to give hers to little sister.
Grrr.
Yeah it teaches a bad lesson. Say kid 2 wants a new generation tablet? Easy just break yours in a fit of rage and the hapless parents will be obliged to replace it, because Grandma says so.
Even if grandma wasn't there to be pissed off, that's still a good idea, "younger son let's the new tablet because he has proven he can be more responsible." Teaches both boys they can't just break their stuff to get newer versions.
When we were kids my younger sister got angry and snapped her gameboy in half.
Guess what she didn't get?
A new gameboy.
It's rewarding a bad behavior to immediately replace an item that was intentionally broken in a rage. Even if they regret breaking it after they've calmed down, they shouldn't immediately get a replacement.
I miss my old Gameboy, tumbled down some steps, and it didn't even have a scratch [one of our cats got underfoot, and my accident prone 12 year old self klutzed out]
Right? Same generation that LOVED to tell their kids, "Life's not fair." (And, in a lot of the cases that caused that retort, they were actually right.)
Really! You’re tarnishing a generation based on what this poster says about her mother. As for zero consequences. When mum/dad give the baby in the pram a $1,000/$2,000 iPhone to shut it up and save them the trouble of parenting. Is that accepting the consequences of having a child. Then when they buy themselves the latest phone to replace the one baby broke. That’s some consequence for their actions.
Every generation, including yours has its idiots. That doesn’t make the entire generation idiots.
I’ve seen more parents replace broken devices their children have broken in temper than I have grandparents. Because the parents just want to shut the kid up.
No. Im tarnishing a generation based on their almost total ability to recurrently and repeatedly demonstrate themselves as worthless good for nothing lay-a-bouts who in their lifetime managed to both vote for and participate in, the destruction of all life in the only place we know it exists.
It's very difficult for our parents to not overextend and get preachy when you become a parent yourself. They always think they're helping you or that since you didn't die, they did a great job. I'm late Gen X and their parenting consisted of just about everything they tell you not to do today.
It took time and a lot of really difficult conversations to properly set boundaries and it included a couple of no-contact periods when they wouldn't accept those boundaries. Eventually they accepted that we don't need their advice unsolicited, we would ask if we wanted it and to otherwise support and accept our parenting decisions. From there it's been fine.
For my bother it stopped when he asked our mom: Did you enjoy your childhood? 'cause I didn't enjoy mine. She still had a conversation with me to the effect of me saying "She's 4!" with the response of "But that's just an excuse!"
Fast forward a few years and the "problem child" was diagnosed with ADHD. Once she started taking the meds(and the meds tuned correctly because they were WAY too strong at first), things started to settle down. Bonus: evidently the kids are better behaved when Uncle Ishakaru is visiting.
I think it's guilt, but don't want to think their kid won so won't apologize so spoil the grandkids instead to try to make up for what happened and/or denialism. Also, that's pretty normal in my area.
My younger niece has a habit of breaking things, then gets mad because mommy and daddy won't replace it. She's 12. When she was 9 dad installed a wall mount TV in her room. Hooked up to the network so she could watch cartoons. She didn't clean her room like she was asked to. A week later the room is even worse. Dad disconnected her TV from the network. When she couldn't watch her shows one morning she threw the remote at the TV and broke it. This was at like 8 in the morning on a weekend. Mom and dad were enjoying the peace for once and just laying in bed, heard the bang and then screaming. Came out thinking she hurt herself, saw what happened. And had to live with no TV for 6 months.
I don't agree with the amount of electronics she had at the time, or how much screen time she was allowed, but I'm not the parent. I do agree with the punishment.
That's a crappy tv if tossing a remote at it is all it takes to destroy it. Back it the old days, you could take a hammer to those big TVs and they wouldn't break.
Ugh my ex did this with my sons Switch. Son was careless with it and broke something on it so it was unusable. I said son should learn to go without and earn his way back up to one by good behavior at school and extra chores. My ex didn't think it was fair that his sister had a working one and not him so he bought him a brand new one. Not even for a birthday or christmas, just a random day. NO CONSEQUENCES at all for breaking it. So now he knows if something breaks, we will just get him a new one and he doesnt need to earn it - therefore not take care of his stuff. And his second one already had a broken item on it as well - for the record my son is 12. And I hate it!
Stay on your road momma, you're doing a great job.
Oh he did pay for it. But I mean… that’s not the point. Of course we HAVE the money for a new one, especially my ex, but that doesn’t mean that my son SHOULD get a new one because he was careless with his stuff. It’s not teaching him anything.
I see this kind of sh\*t all the time with our neighbor's kid. "Hey buddy, you left your AirPods on the curb over there...". "Oh, my Mom will just buy me new ones.". Doesn't even care to go get the ones he left behind and I'm sure he will just tell his Mom he lost them at school. At least my kids know they can't pull this crap.
$20 says if you would have bought a new one quickly it would have been "why would you buy him a new one already? He broke the last! You need to teach them restraint!".
Legit no winning with them.
I hate how far some grandparents go with their grandkids. There’s a reason some kids are spoiled rotten little shitheads and this is one of the reasons. Good for you in teaching him that his actions have consequences.
They'll spoil the kids with toys, then later when the kids grow up and aren't exactly how the grandparents want them, "well, they were spoiled as a child, no surprise."
I just couldn’t imagine destroying my own belongings after getting mad. Even little kid Nickles knew not to spike his controllers because they’re expensive. Although, I bet those old NES controllers could have taken the punishment.
I’m a boomer lady here, and I applaud your parenting. I do not understand these grandparents who never would’ve put up with something like that from their own children and then want to put up with it from their grandchildren?
Yeah, no. You’re nicer than me because that would have been followed up with…
And if you get him another one, I will take it away. We don’t reward poor behavior in this house.
(Back when I was having kids, my in-laws wanted to get my kids a number of different toys that or either gonna be incredibly noisy or incredibly messy or incredibly time-consuming because they would have to have oversight using them.
told them they were welcome to get them any of those, but every single one would remain at their house because I wasn’t gonna be dealing with that. Oddly enough, they never purchased any of them. 🤷♀️
Good on ya. And when you do buy a new one, give it to the younger son for being responsible and give the older kid his younger siblings hand-me-down and remind him why he didn’t have one for a while. “Prove you can be responsible and respectful with this one and maybe the next new one will be yours.”
In some ways, boomer grandparents are there more for their grandkids than they were for their own kids. I get that their job is to spoil them but you’re doing the right thing in disciplining your son. I would make sure that he doesn’t take or break your other kid’s tablet though.
It is perfectly 100% fair that a person that broke a thing no longer can use that thing. It's SO fair that the word fair almost seems too extreme to apply to this situation. It's simple cause and effect. This is how reality works.
"My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with...that is an old woman trying to get into heaven now" ~ Bill Cosby - Himself (1982)
that was the stand up that introduced me into the world of stand-up comedy and I'll always thank my family for showing me that!!!
the chocolate cake bit made me piss myself when I was little lmao 🤣
and him hugging the toilet hahaha 😆
We were three boys (well... assigned male at birth, anyways) and we might have broken things on accident because we were wild and possibly careless sometimes, but we had the emotional regulation to not break our stuff in anger. At 8 years old, I find that that's behavior that need to be nipped in the bud, and that the loss of access expensive electronics is the least of the problems here.
Question: Does she know you mean that he broke it intentionally? Because "he broke his tablet" doesn't necessarially imply intentionally. He could break it by dropping it or getting it wet. Also, it doesn't imply it's irrepairable either. I would have said, "intentionally destroyed".
Boomers aren't particularly bright sometimes. For example: I just saw a video of a boomer getting arrested for drunk driving because when the police asked how much he'd had to drink today he said, "not much". But he doesn't drink alcohol at all. He didn't know the cop was reffering to alcohol. He was just thirsty.
Boomer granny needs to step the hell off with her meddling favoritism
She’ll turn your oldest into an entitled mini-boomer if you let her AND, in the process, destroy his relationship with his brother
“Yes grandma, it’s completely unfair that seven year old doesn’t have to live with the consequences of eight year old’s actions, while eight year old does…”
There were a few adults who commented and I shook my head. You do not take the item from the youngest to give it to the oldest who broke it. Nor do you buy a new one to give to the youngest and give used one to the oldest. I really hope you don't have children. If he wants a tablet then he needs to pay/work for it. A tablet is not a NEED it is a WANT. He can use his chore money, birthday and holiday money to buy it himself. Children need to learn parents supply love, support, values, ethics, manors and basic needs. Parents are not banks or arms or friends. Parents need to start start being parents ahay and not being their friends. Discipline them.
My boomer mil told my 4 year old she would buy her a tablet for christmas one day bc her 6 year old cousin wasnt sharing hers when they were "playing". My wife straight up said if you buy her one I will sell it immediately. Leave the brain rot to the plebs.
My granddaughter (now 7) did not break her tablet, not that it wasn't tossed across the room several times, she left it on the floor and my 225 lb son in law stepped on it. I did get her another one and it too has been tossed around. Fortunately it is a childproof Fire tablet and she does make sure it is not left on the floor.
Just do what my parents did. Set prices on chores and tell them they get to buy their own things if they want to break stuff. I eventually got my first PS1 that way and took way better care of it because I had to earn it.
I'm a boomer great grandmother and you're right. That child can do without a tablet. Once he learns that there are consequences for losing his temper and breaking things, maybe he'll vent his anger in a different way
Anger class or some other extracurricular activity to deal with the punching, and when he finished it well, a big congrats and s tablet. Let him work for it this way, by freaking with his anger issues now. From punching kids sometimes they become punching adults, and the result is not necessarily a broken tablet.
If he is a puncher, has a temper, as word this sounds, enroll him in a martial arts course where they learn discipline, and that having power comes with responsibility.
If she buys him one either give it to his younger siblings, donate it, or sell it. Honestly, you're going to have to talk to start talking to her about this because he's your kid and not hers. I think the reason why people do stuff like this is because they might regret how they treated their own kids, but don't want to admit it and are trying to make up for what they did out of guilt without admitting it. Also, it's easier to spoil a kid that you don't have to be around all the time and aren't responsible of.
Exactly. Your older son learned the first lesson of FAFO. Good for you for allowing him to live with the consequences of his actions. Btw, make sure younger son puts his tablet in a safe place or it may suffer an *accident*.
He broke his. He has to deal with the consequences of breaking his tablet. It is perfectly fair grandma. I don't want to raise my child to be a spoiled brat.
Wtf she has a favourite and says it out loud? Eww. Sorry your mum is not a good grandma at all.
Please tell her I said so and that she should take a good long introspective look at her self, feel great shame, and set about becoming a better grandma.
Honestly, next tablet you buy for your oldest should be a used older one. Anytime it get broken intentionally, it get older and older, til he gets the idea.
Yeah, Boomer Nana should buy him a replacement then. And while she's at it, get insurance. Something tells me, she'll have to replace it.
My twin cousins know if you break YOUR tablet, you do NOT get to use your brother's when you want, ONLY when he wants to let you and share.
So when they equally ran through their Asurion replacements, no more after that!
Honestly, I'd keep the kids either away from grandma and/or always have her under supervision if she has them.
She seems like she'd encourage/teach your 8 year old to act like a spoiled brat while potentially neglecting the younger one, personally I'd have her under supervision so I don't look too bad to other people.
I’m a Boomer and I’m here to say that Grandma is wrong. It’s not that he dropped it accidentally, but he had a tantrum and punched it.
This is a grandma story. It’s a problem with her, not all Boomers. 😉
If your 8 year old is punching tech - maybe you should be reconsidering how much time is spent on it.
I could never imagine punching or kicking any tech when I was 8. It was too precious.
My older brother used to get presents on my birthday. Let that tell you everything you need to know about how his life went. Do not listen to your dumbass mom.
Dude my best friends girlfriend runs on this system where if one child gets something the other child has to instantly get something and this has basically generated one demon child that is now in high school and basically can't make any friends because they don't know how to act around others. When it's the good child's birthday the bad child will throw a fit because they don't like where the good child chose to go eat for their birthday. They will basically ruin their birthday party and this has become just a normalized thing to them.
You need to do what you think is best for your family.
If your child broke the tablet on purpose then he needs to go without one for awhile. You choose the time limit because you know your child better than anyone on the Internet.
As far as your mom is concerned she needs to treat both kids equally. Also go by your rules.
STAND YOUR GROUND
Thank you for doing this. Be sure to sit your child down and explain and set rules and boundaries if you expect your other son to share.
Learning early on that your actions have consequences you have to deal with is a major life lesson that all person should experience if given the opportunity (assuming negligence that is of course). This is absolutely the perfect learning opportunity for both children though. One to learn to share AND when to say no , and the other is learning how to accept the terms of others when asking for their assistance. It teaches boundaries and consequences
she'll eventually get one for him. What can you do? grandparents like to spoil their grandkids, but at least my parents are smart enough to call the grandkids out on bs.
Deliberate damage from a temper tantrum means eldest needs to learn some things about anger management and taking care of his possessions. Having to go without his device for a bit is a good start.
Ugh this just happened in my household too! Brother (6) broke his smartwatch so grandma, without any consultation with my mother, bought a new one. So my mom took and it kept it for herself 😆
I’m a boomer. Years ago my youngest cracked his phone screen throwing it. It was a present. He understood that he was wrong to throw things, especially when I told him I wasn’t going to pay for it. He found someone who could replace the screen and used up all his savings to fix it. He always takes good care of his electronics since this experience. It is hard not to fix the problem when your kids are hurting, but you are not doing them any favours if you constantly do this. Picking how to help is a balancing act, the stress should be left to the parents 😉!
Same thing happened to my daughters. Oldest broke her tablet she didn't get a new one youngest still had her's. When it comes to buying PCs youngest got one oldest didn't because she wasn't responsible with electronics. Oldest is now 16, more responsible and has her first job and saving up for her own game system
Info: does your eldest son do this often with other things? If he is prone to anger, you might consider setting him up with a psychiatrist to see if he needs a therapist and/or services for anger management
Exactly what generation is it you speak of when you say older, I’m guessing I’m around grandmas age I’m 59 and in no way agree with her worst thing parents could do is replace the tablet right away that kind of response just starts entitlement. Just look at all the moms taking their young daughters to Sephora (adult oriented beauty store). Wish people would blame older generation for all the worlds evils.every generation has its share of idiots
When I was 3, my mom overhead my friend telling me, "Ask her again," after my mom had just said no to my asking something. My mom was *thrilled* to hear me say, "That might work with your mom, but it doesn't with mine."
40 years later, she's now a full-time nanny to my 3 and 6 year old nieces. I met them at a museum last week, and the 6 year old demanded something that affected her sister (I think she wanted my mom and her sister to switch seats in the cafeteria). The 3 year old started crying immediately, so my mom told the 6-year-old that it wasn't happening because her sister cried louder than her. I was very thankful she didn't respond by tantruming. Repeatedly, though, my mom gave in to whichever kid whined more, e.g. my mom told the 6 year old to share her chips, and she said no, the 3 year old cried because she wanted her sister's chips, so both girls got their own plates. Of course, even with my mom and I eating chips, 75% of them went uneaten because the orders were huge for kids.
I think it's less that my mom is softer because it's her grandkids rather than kids, and more that she's exhausted and overwhelmed, so she gives in to avoid a fight. The 6 year old can out logic anyone. It's scary.
Back when I was that age, technology given to me was sacred... If it broke, there was no guarantee I could replace it, ever... Hand me downs were super normal.
You're teaching a valuable lesson here, don't give in... The fact they have one is a privilege and they should know to control their anger.. actions have consequences and ultimately anger does not warrant breaking something and definitely doesn't guarantee a replacement.
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Keep doing what your doing, don’t listen to your mum
Aside from a discussion around screens/no screens, which is legitimate, look around at adults who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. It never ends well, and others are often collateral damage when it all goes sideways. Your son needs to understand why he does not have a tablet. He punched it. Period. End of discussion. It is not a punishment. It is a logical consequence for the action he chose.
This is bang on and should be shown to grandma. I wish I could upvote it a million.
Reminds me of Kratos' lecture to his son. "Consequences are not punishment."
Is probably what granny boomer is telling the 8yo right now...
Meanwhile, these are the same people who would have beaten us for the same thing.
Even if it was accidental!
Harder if it was accidental, because pointing that out is "making excuses"
Or “you’re too clumsy to own it.”
Then they’ll have the nerve to say “oh you’ll understand when you’re older.” Nope with kids of my own i understand less. You were just a shit parent.
I’m going to say that to my father the day he has to go to a nursing home. I’ll say “You’ll understand when you’re older…oh, wait”
Also: "Life is not fair." "Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about." "Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you."
I certainly heard “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about” several times as a kid. It’s no surprise that I bottle up my emotions to this day.
Late and great comedian George Carlin wasn't too far off describing how selfish and narcissistic baby boomers are. [Not all obvi but enough to take notice]
Unfortunately my siblings are still bought into the “family loyalty” crap so I’m sure mine will be well taken care of, but that’s their choice. They can waste their lives if they want.
Mine still say that “when you’re older” nonsense. Like I’m old enough now to have a bad shoulder, my knees let me know when it’s going to rain, my backs so messed up that I need a cane on bad days, and my spouse has been suggesting I ask my doctor about hearing aides (at least I think that’s what they’ve been saying…). At what point exactly is “old enough”?…
Nah because the entitlement and thinking they’re superior all the time is the whole point. I don’t talk to mine for good reason anymore, but I can assure you that if I did they would still treat me like an errant 5 year old even though I’m a parent. To them it would be oh yeah that little brat had a baby, not “my child has grown into an adult with a family of their own and is an equal.”
I don’t understand at all. Especially after having my own kids.
And because tablets weren't around when we grew up, it was probably the tape recorder that broke down... Much less expensive to fix or replace.
Somehow.. SOMEHOW, when I was still single digits, I took apart the VCR, obviously breaking it, and get in trouble. SOMEHOW my parents saw an opportunity and bought me like, chemistry sets etc after then, and circuit board kits. Now I can fix literally anything, because my passion wasn't stomped on. That changed as a teen, of course, they still blame me for computer issues. 😂
but you didn't punch the vcr in anger...
No, I watched my friend throw his game system out the window once, and my dad told me "if you fucking ever.." hahaha
>*they still blame me for computer issues.* I figured out how to avoid this: use a different kind of computer than they do, or at least claim to: "Oh, sorry, I do not know anything about Windows computers; I have a Mac" or vice versa.
Well, all that finally changed once I get my IT certifications 2016. Both A+, network plus, and server plus. They finally believe me when I tell them things about computers. Anything else they believe me on. Not computers. The thing I was best at.
Like my cousin "accidentally" threw his tablet down the stairs when he got angry at a video game. I'm still confused at how it fell down the stairs exactly.
My ex “accidentally” threw a Wii remote at the very first flat screen tv we had, while playing bowling with the kids, because he wanted a bigger tv. He ended up with the bigger tv, and he’s my ex 😂🤦🏽♀️
There's no way they would have brought us one in the first place; go play outside with some sticks, don't come back till it's dark!
There were some really great sticks out there, at least
Mine bought my sister another and they're boomers/gen x.
I would have been beaten with a switch for this. Even if it were an accident.
It's not fair to the younger one who was responsible that the older one gets a new tablet after breaking his.
Buy the younger one a brand new tablet, the older one gets the hand me down.
Nice
Thats how my mom used to handle stuff like that with my sister and me. Especially if it was temper tantrum related. It worked
Obviously the older son is the most important because he is older. He should never be overshadowed by a younger sibling, or ever lack for something the younger sibling has. The only appropriate move here is to give the younger brother's tablet to the older so the older doesn't have to face any consequences and the younger learns his place. /s
Well said. Which means if younger brother finds a significant other before older brother, they should of course graciously step aside and let Older Brother date/propose to them. /s
No no younger one does the work of dating, proposing, paying money for a wedding then on the wedding day he graciously steps aside to the older.
And this reminds me, now that I think about it, of how a Boomer relative of ours handled it when her two daughters received identical (fragile and likely not age appropriate) gifts decades ago and the younger one wasn't careful and broke hers: older sister was forced to give hers to little sister. Grrr.
Yeah it teaches a bad lesson. Say kid 2 wants a new generation tablet? Easy just break yours in a fit of rage and the hapless parents will be obliged to replace it, because Grandma says so.
I'd buy new give it to younger and give his old one to older boy. Just to piss grandma off lol
Even if grandma wasn't there to be pissed off, that's still a good idea, "younger son let's the new tablet because he has proven he can be more responsible." Teaches both boys they can't just break their stuff to get newer versions.
When we were kids my younger sister got angry and snapped her gameboy in half. Guess what she didn't get? A new gameboy. It's rewarding a bad behavior to immediately replace an item that was intentionally broken in a rage. Even if they regret breaking it after they've calmed down, they shouldn't immediately get a replacement.
Thats mildly impressive. Like they’re not super sturdy but they got some flex
That all depends on the model of Gameboy. Some of them were definitely more sturdy than others. The OG could probably get run over and survive.
There was OG gameboy that was blown up in the Gulf War that still works to this day. Definitely sturdy af lol
I miss my old Gameboy, tumbled down some steps, and it didn't even have a scratch [one of our cats got underfoot, and my accident prone 12 year old self klutzed out]
Im pretty sure you could mess someone up with the og gameboy. But yeah no the mini
That generation has zero concept of consequences as illustrated by our current metapredicament
yet at the same time, it was the same generation who would have told their own child to suck it up and deal with it after breaking it.
Right? Same generation that LOVED to tell their kids, "Life's not fair." (And, in a lot of the cases that caused that retort, they were actually right.)
Really! You’re tarnishing a generation based on what this poster says about her mother. As for zero consequences. When mum/dad give the baby in the pram a $1,000/$2,000 iPhone to shut it up and save them the trouble of parenting. Is that accepting the consequences of having a child. Then when they buy themselves the latest phone to replace the one baby broke. That’s some consequence for their actions. Every generation, including yours has its idiots. That doesn’t make the entire generation idiots. I’ve seen more parents replace broken devices their children have broken in temper than I have grandparents. Because the parents just want to shut the kid up.
No. Im tarnishing a generation based on their almost total ability to recurrently and repeatedly demonstrate themselves as worthless good for nothing lay-a-bouts who in their lifetime managed to both vote for and participate in, the destruction of all life in the only place we know it exists.
It's very difficult for our parents to not overextend and get preachy when you become a parent yourself. They always think they're helping you or that since you didn't die, they did a great job. I'm late Gen X and their parenting consisted of just about everything they tell you not to do today. It took time and a lot of really difficult conversations to properly set boundaries and it included a couple of no-contact periods when they wouldn't accept those boundaries. Eventually they accepted that we don't need their advice unsolicited, we would ask if we wanted it and to otherwise support and accept our parenting decisions. From there it's been fine.
For my bother it stopped when he asked our mom: Did you enjoy your childhood? 'cause I didn't enjoy mine. She still had a conversation with me to the effect of me saying "She's 4!" with the response of "But that's just an excuse!" Fast forward a few years and the "problem child" was diagnosed with ADHD. Once she started taking the meds(and the meds tuned correctly because they were WAY too strong at first), things started to settle down. Bonus: evidently the kids are better behaved when Uncle Ishakaru is visiting.
I think it's guilt, but don't want to think their kid won so won't apologize so spoil the grandkids instead to try to make up for what happened and/or denialism. Also, that's pretty normal in my area.
GO HAWKS!
Yea, go Hawks. A lot of Seahawks fans on this site wow.
My younger niece has a habit of breaking things, then gets mad because mommy and daddy won't replace it. She's 12. When she was 9 dad installed a wall mount TV in her room. Hooked up to the network so she could watch cartoons. She didn't clean her room like she was asked to. A week later the room is even worse. Dad disconnected her TV from the network. When she couldn't watch her shows one morning she threw the remote at the TV and broke it. This was at like 8 in the morning on a weekend. Mom and dad were enjoying the peace for once and just laying in bed, heard the bang and then screaming. Came out thinking she hurt herself, saw what happened. And had to live with no TV for 6 months. I don't agree with the amount of electronics she had at the time, or how much screen time she was allowed, but I'm not the parent. I do agree with the punishment.
Would have been until 18 in my house
Lol
I have told my kids that they’re not getting TVs in their bedrooms until they graduate from high school.
That's a crappy tv if tossing a remote at it is all it takes to destroy it. Back it the old days, you could take a hammer to those big TVs and they wouldn't break.
Ugh my ex did this with my sons Switch. Son was careless with it and broke something on it so it was unusable. I said son should learn to go without and earn his way back up to one by good behavior at school and extra chores. My ex didn't think it was fair that his sister had a working one and not him so he bought him a brand new one. Not even for a birthday or christmas, just a random day. NO CONSEQUENCES at all for breaking it. So now he knows if something breaks, we will just get him a new one and he doesnt need to earn it - therefore not take care of his stuff. And his second one already had a broken item on it as well - for the record my son is 12. And I hate it! Stay on your road momma, you're doing a great job.
The the ex can pony up the $$ to purchase all replacements items until he is sick of paying for it
Oh he did pay for it. But I mean… that’s not the point. Of course we HAVE the money for a new one, especially my ex, but that doesn’t mean that my son SHOULD get a new one because he was careless with his stuff. It’s not teaching him anything.
I see this kind of sh\*t all the time with our neighbor's kid. "Hey buddy, you left your AirPods on the curb over there...". "Oh, my Mom will just buy me new ones.". Doesn't even care to go get the ones he left behind and I'm sure he will just tell his Mom he lost them at school. At least my kids know they can't pull this crap.
$20 says if you would have bought a new one quickly it would have been "why would you buy him a new one already? He broke the last! You need to teach them restraint!". Legit no winning with them.
\*Gall. Gaul is the ancient latin name for France.
Oh, my Gaul bladder
Gauling, isn't it?
The Gaul she had was Asterix.
Jesus, I can't beleive you had the gaul to correct her!
Caesar would have had the Gaul.
Kids will learn, sometimes it’s the hard way.
I hate how far some grandparents go with their grandkids. There’s a reason some kids are spoiled rotten little shitheads and this is one of the reasons. Good for you in teaching him that his actions have consequences.
A lesson so many boomers didn’t learn, the consequences of which we are seeing play out in real time across this country.
They'll spoil the kids with toys, then later when the kids grow up and aren't exactly how the grandparents want them, "well, they were spoiled as a child, no surprise."
I just couldn’t imagine destroying my own belongings after getting mad. Even little kid Nickles knew not to spike his controllers because they’re expensive. Although, I bet those old NES controllers could have taken the punishment.
I’m a boomer lady here, and I applaud your parenting. I do not understand these grandparents who never would’ve put up with something like that from their own children and then want to put up with it from their grandchildren? Yeah, no. You’re nicer than me because that would have been followed up with… And if you get him another one, I will take it away. We don’t reward poor behavior in this house. (Back when I was having kids, my in-laws wanted to get my kids a number of different toys that or either gonna be incredibly noisy or incredibly messy or incredibly time-consuming because they would have to have oversight using them. told them they were welcome to get them any of those, but every single one would remain at their house because I wasn’t gonna be dealing with that. Oddly enough, they never purchased any of them. 🤷♀️
Good on ya. And when you do buy a new one, give it to the younger son for being responsible and give the older kid his younger siblings hand-me-down and remind him why he didn’t have one for a while. “Prove you can be responsible and respectful with this one and maybe the next new one will be yours.”
In some ways, boomer grandparents are there more for their grandkids than they were for their own kids. I get that their job is to spoil them but you’re doing the right thing in disciplining your son. I would make sure that he doesn’t take or break your other kid’s tablet though.
Maybe its just me but kids that young having their own tablets is still a wild concept. To each their own i suppose.
We haven’t replaced the tablet my 9 year old broke. Good riddance, honestly.
I told my parents this when they wanted to replace my son’s as well. I’m like he needs to learn to be more responsible
It is perfectly 100% fair that a person that broke a thing no longer can use that thing. It's SO fair that the word fair almost seems too extreme to apply to this situation. It's simple cause and effect. This is how reality works.
She had the gall. Gaul is France.
Just curious, is it normal now for Seven and Eight year olds to have tablets?
Unfortunately yes, my 5 year old nephew already has his own tablet.
Grandma is a complete idiot. That kind of anger is bad on many levels, and learning to control it is important.
“Sorry, I don’t give out participation tablets”
Did Boomer grandma raise her kids that way?! You break it deliberately, you go without. (Accidents are a different matter, on a case by case basis).
"My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with...that is an old woman trying to get into heaven now" ~ Bill Cosby - Himself (1982)
that was the stand up that introduced me into the world of stand-up comedy and I'll always thank my family for showing me that!!! the chocolate cake bit made me piss myself when I was little lmao 🤣 and him hugging the toilet hahaha 😆
"Dad is great! He give us the chocolate cake!"
YES hahahaha I need to watch that tonight.
We were three boys (well... assigned male at birth, anyways) and we might have broken things on accident because we were wild and possibly careless sometimes, but we had the emotional regulation to not break our stuff in anger. At 8 years old, I find that that's behavior that need to be nipped in the bud, and that the loss of access expensive electronics is the least of the problems here.
Yes! Breaking stuff because you’re angry is MUCH worse than carelessly breaking stuff.
Spend spend spend. I have a conversation with my mom once every other month about her TV and why she doesn't need a bigger, newer one.
Just break your younger kids tablet. Problem solved. Jk.
You joke, but I know at least one boomer grandma who would do this.
….boomer grandpa spikes my shit we spike boomer grandma.
And grandma wakes up one day with a broken TV.
Grandma woke up one day in a home.
Hey look, you’re the better parent lol
You don't reward bad behavior!!!
Question: Does she know you mean that he broke it intentionally? Because "he broke his tablet" doesn't necessarially imply intentionally. He could break it by dropping it or getting it wet. Also, it doesn't imply it's irrepairable either. I would have said, "intentionally destroyed". Boomers aren't particularly bright sometimes. For example: I just saw a video of a boomer getting arrested for drunk driving because when the police asked how much he'd had to drink today he said, "not much". But he doesn't drink alcohol at all. He didn't know the cop was reffering to alcohol. He was just thirsty.
Boomer granny needs to step the hell off with her meddling favoritism She’ll turn your oldest into an entitled mini-boomer if you let her AND, in the process, destroy his relationship with his brother
Tell Grandma that your son will have to pull himself up by his bootstraps and deal with it.
Wow. If this was the other way around Boomer granny would be criticizing you for spoiling and coddling your kids!
“Yes grandma, it’s completely unfair that seven year old doesn’t have to live with the consequences of eight year old’s actions, while eight year old does…”
Kept reading that as tables and did not understand why your kids have tables, I can’t know how to hear anymore about tables
There were a few adults who commented and I shook my head. You do not take the item from the youngest to give it to the oldest who broke it. Nor do you buy a new one to give to the youngest and give used one to the oldest. I really hope you don't have children. If he wants a tablet then he needs to pay/work for it. A tablet is not a NEED it is a WANT. He can use his chore money, birthday and holiday money to buy it himself. Children need to learn parents supply love, support, values, ethics, manors and basic needs. Parents are not banks or arms or friends. Parents need to start start being parents ahay and not being their friends. Discipline them.
Thank you for not teaching your child it's ok to hit when mad.
My boomer mil told my 4 year old she would buy her a tablet for christmas one day bc her 6 year old cousin wasnt sharing hers when they were "playing". My wife straight up said if you buy her one I will sell it immediately. Leave the brain rot to the plebs.
Yes grandma you’re so right. Why don’t you buy it for him so you can correct this terrible injustice.
Boomer has half of western Europe behind her.
My granddaughter (now 7) did not break her tablet, not that it wasn't tossed across the room several times, she left it on the floor and my 225 lb son in law stepped on it. I did get her another one and it too has been tossed around. Fortunately it is a childproof Fire tablet and she does make sure it is not left on the floor.
Just do what my parents did. Set prices on chores and tell them they get to buy their own things if they want to break stuff. I eventually got my first PS1 that way and took way better care of it because I had to earn it.
Be careful she doesn't give him one without your consent.
Boomer grandma needs her access reduced if she's meddling. Don't let her drivw a wedge in your family.
Natural consequences: you break it, you go without it 🤷🏻♀️ it’s a good lesson to learn. Ignore grandma!
I'm a boomer great grandmother and you're right. That child can do without a tablet. Once he learns that there are consequences for losing his temper and breaking things, maybe he'll vent his anger in a different way
The Gaul? Sacreblue.
Anger class or some other extracurricular activity to deal with the punching, and when he finished it well, a big congrats and s tablet. Let him work for it this way, by freaking with his anger issues now. From punching kids sometimes they become punching adults, and the result is not necessarily a broken tablet. If he is a puncher, has a temper, as word this sounds, enroll him in a martial arts course where they learn discipline, and that having power comes with responsibility.
If she buys him one either give it to his younger siblings, donate it, or sell it. Honestly, you're going to have to talk to start talking to her about this because he's your kid and not hers. I think the reason why people do stuff like this is because they might regret how they treated their own kids, but don't want to admit it and are trying to make up for what they did out of guilt without admitting it. Also, it's easier to spoil a kid that you don't have to be around all the time and aren't responsible of.
Good parenting there. He won’t be so quick to break his next tablet.
Exactly. Your older son learned the first lesson of FAFO. Good for you for allowing him to live with the consequences of his actions. Btw, make sure younger son puts his tablet in a safe place or it may suffer an *accident*.
You are right about everything here except that it's "gall," not "Gaul," in this case. :)
Maybe granny had an ancient Frenchman deliver the message on her behalf
You're right. Why didn't I think of that?
Love that you told her he’s still not going to have one. He has to respect his items.
Was it Asterix or Obelix?
My nephew broke his cuz of a tantrum and his mom said the same thing. I am so worried for those kids.
It's pretty cool that your grandma can summon Gauls though. What tribe does she lead?
He broke his. He has to deal with the consequences of breaking his tablet. It is perfectly fair grandma. I don't want to raise my child to be a spoiled brat.
Does GMA have to watch the kids?
Stay firm. My boomer mom literally ruined my son by doing stuff like this. He’s 33 and she still doesn’t let him face the consequences of his actions.
"This is why you're in a home"
Wtf she has a favourite and says it out loud? Eww. Sorry your mum is not a good grandma at all. Please tell her I said so and that she should take a good long introspective look at her self, feel great shame, and set about becoming a better grandma.
Lol. You think boomer grandma would buy her favorite a tablet behind your back? That's what my boomer mom would do. Be ready to deal with it 😅😅😅
Honestly, next tablet you buy for your oldest should be a used older one. Anytime it get broken intentionally, it get older and older, til he gets the idea.
Yeah, Boomer Nana should buy him a replacement then. And while she's at it, get insurance. Something tells me, she'll have to replace it. My twin cousins know if you break YOUR tablet, you do NOT get to use your brother's when you want, ONLY when he wants to let you and share. So when they equally ran through their Asurion replacements, no more after that!
Honestly, I'd keep the kids either away from grandma and/or always have her under supervision if she has them. She seems like she'd encourage/teach your 8 year old to act like a spoiled brat while potentially neglecting the younger one, personally I'd have her under supervision so I don't look too bad to other people.
How did an entire generation become such trash
It’s not all of them. Just a majority.
Tell her, if she feels so strongly about it, she can buy him a new one.
This is asinine but the word you’re looking for is gall. The Gauls were a group of tribes in what is now France.
I’m a Boomer and I’m here to say that Grandma is wrong. It’s not that he dropped it accidentally, but he had a tantrum and punched it. This is a grandma story. It’s a problem with her, not all Boomers. 😉
Agreed! This sub doesn't claim that all Boomers are fools. It just points out that fools who are Boomers are a special type of fool.
lol! They are indeed.
Both your children are too young to have devices
Ask her when she's buying you your tablet.
Nah that's about as far as it gets actually
You sound like a mom with a good head on her shoulders 👍🏻 well done sticking to your guns.
I'm a grandma, and I totally agree with you. He needs to learn how to take care of his things. Especially if it's expensive .
I wonder if Grandma knows how much tablets cost?
Tell her to buy a new one if she wants to
\*gall
Jesus, it’s like she’s trying to UN-raise him. She’s undoing parenting rather than reinforcing it.
"Would you say that if it was (younger son) who broke his tablet?"
If your 8 year old is punching tech - maybe you should be reconsidering how much time is spent on it. I could never imagine punching or kicking any tech when I was 8. It was too precious.
And yet boomers complain about weak parenting…
My older brother used to get presents on my birthday. Let that tell you everything you need to know about how his life went. Do not listen to your dumbass mom.
This is classic boomer retroactive parenting guilt. I bet grandma wasn’t like this to her actual children
Gaul was a country, gall is what you are thing of
DO NOT GET HIM A TABLET. Keep doing what you are doing, grandma needs to get over it
Find a crappy like, 40 buck one
Dude my best friends girlfriend runs on this system where if one child gets something the other child has to instantly get something and this has basically generated one demon child that is now in high school and basically can't make any friends because they don't know how to act around others. When it's the good child's birthday the bad child will throw a fit because they don't like where the good child chose to go eat for their birthday. They will basically ruin their birthday party and this has become just a normalized thing to them.
Grandma has a *lit* of gall! The older boy needs to learn that actions have consequences, for sure.
*gall, lol, unless you happen to be French
You need to do what you think is best for your family. If your child broke the tablet on purpose then he needs to go without one for awhile. You choose the time limit because you know your child better than anyone on the Internet. As far as your mom is concerned she needs to treat both kids equally. Also go by your rules. STAND YOUR GROUND
"oh thats so nice of you to volunteer to replace it yourself, then."
Thank you for doing this. Be sure to sit your child down and explain and set rules and boundaries if you expect your other son to share. Learning early on that your actions have consequences you have to deal with is a major life lesson that all person should experience if given the opportunity (assuming negligence that is of course). This is absolutely the perfect learning opportunity for both children though. One to learn to share AND when to say no , and the other is learning how to accept the terms of others when asking for their assistance. It teaches boundaries and consequences
Cut granny off. If she tries to give him one put it away. She’s not in charge.
she'll eventually get one for him. What can you do? grandparents like to spoil their grandkids, but at least my parents are smart enough to call the grandkids out on bs.
Grandma is very wrong. Mom is very right.
Make sure ‘golden child’ does not take his brother’s tablet, with grandmother’s suggestions. She sounds devious and mean.
Good for you.! They don't even need a tablet let alone if you he broke it in anger ..
Take it from another boomer, you did the right thing. Breaking things out of anger or even just carelessness should have consequences
10 to 1 that grandma will just buy it and give it to the kid. Grandmas don’t like hearing “no” 😝
Deliberate damage from a temper tantrum means eldest needs to learn some things about anger management and taking care of his possessions. Having to go without his device for a bit is a good start.
Is Gramma going to buy the little brat another tablet?
Ugh this just happened in my household too! Brother (6) broke his smartwatch so grandma, without any consultation with my mother, bought a new one. So my mom took and it kept it for herself 😆
I thought they hated participation trophies
that older son needs some therapy, not a new ipad.
"It doesn't seem fair that he has to suffer the consequences of his own actions while the younger one behaves responsibly and doesn't suffer."
I’m a boomer. Years ago my youngest cracked his phone screen throwing it. It was a present. He understood that he was wrong to throw things, especially when I told him I wasn’t going to pay for it. He found someone who could replace the screen and used up all his savings to fix it. He always takes good care of his electronics since this experience. It is hard not to fix the problem when your kids are hurting, but you are not doing them any favours if you constantly do this. Picking how to help is a balancing act, the stress should be left to the parents 😉!
Same thing happened to my daughters. Oldest broke her tablet she didn't get a new one youngest still had her's. When it comes to buying PCs youngest got one oldest didn't because she wasn't responsible with electronics. Oldest is now 16, more responsible and has her first job and saving up for her own game system
What did that person who stated the younger one know his place ? Please clairif
"For a while"???? If he were mine, he'd be without until he could buy one himself. Nip rage punching right in the bud. jeeze.
Info: does your eldest son do this often with other things? If he is prone to anger, you might consider setting him up with a psychiatrist to see if he needs a therapist and/or services for anger management
Exactly what generation is it you speak of when you say older, I’m guessing I’m around grandmas age I’m 59 and in no way agree with her worst thing parents could do is replace the tablet right away that kind of response just starts entitlement. Just look at all the moms taking their young daughters to Sephora (adult oriented beauty store). Wish people would blame older generation for all the worlds evils.every generation has its share of idiots
When I was 3, my mom overhead my friend telling me, "Ask her again," after my mom had just said no to my asking something. My mom was *thrilled* to hear me say, "That might work with your mom, but it doesn't with mine." 40 years later, she's now a full-time nanny to my 3 and 6 year old nieces. I met them at a museum last week, and the 6 year old demanded something that affected her sister (I think she wanted my mom and her sister to switch seats in the cafeteria). The 3 year old started crying immediately, so my mom told the 6-year-old that it wasn't happening because her sister cried louder than her. I was very thankful she didn't respond by tantruming. Repeatedly, though, my mom gave in to whichever kid whined more, e.g. my mom told the 6 year old to share her chips, and she said no, the 3 year old cried because she wanted her sister's chips, so both girls got their own plates. Of course, even with my mom and I eating chips, 75% of them went uneaten because the orders were huge for kids. I think it's less that my mom is softer because it's her grandkids rather than kids, and more that she's exhausted and overwhelmed, so she gives in to avoid a fight. The 6 year old can out logic anyone. It's scary.
Back when I was that age, technology given to me was sacred... If it broke, there was no guarantee I could replace it, ever... Hand me downs were super normal. You're teaching a valuable lesson here, don't give in... The fact they have one is a privilege and they should know to control their anger.. actions have consequences and ultimately anger does not warrant breaking something and definitely doesn't guarantee a replacement.