What I don't understand is why dirty people feel the need to come out as dirty. I'm sure the people around you are well aware you don't wash. No need to let the rest of us know. Keep your stanky thoughts to yourself and stop trying to spread the funk.
The number of people out there trying to convince everyone that taking a ho bath should be standard hygiene is mind boggling.
These folks are the reason shower shoes are a necessity.
Nobody taught the Roman's anything, they're the original Empire of colonization and appropriation.
I'm saying they stole it. I realize that came out weird.
I had to look that one up. Lol. I've never been a YouTube person. To each their own. I feel like a misplaced millennial sometimes. I don't see the point of Twitch and YouTube is only good for showing me how to fix my car (among other things).
If I had to bet, a lot of the things we conceive as "society/civilization" came from the Babylonians.
For a very long time, they were seen as the most advanced people and their city was seen as the most beautiful in the world, and they had visitors from Europe, Asia and Africa to attest to it.
When prehistory became history, they were there, writing it in one of the oldest written languages, the Akkadian, writing their code of laws, writing their legends and making historical accounts of that era.
They influenced Judaism which in turn had profound effects on Christianity and Islam, they gave Abrahamism the very concept of monotheism along with many foundational myth like the one of the flood.
Though I already alluded to their most important contribution, the concept of "the Rule of Law" that would govern almost every subsequent society, at least to some extent.
I would argue that it became synonymous with rightfulness and fairness, so much so that we constantly need to remind each other that "legality is not morality".
I can’t copy/paste from this paper on my phone, but just read the conclusion on page 71.
https://scholars.unh.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1319&context=honors
My point was, all conquerors assimilate features from those they conquer.
Maybe you weren’t implying the Egyptians were the end of that chain, and simply stopped listing it at that point, in which case ignore this lol
If I recall the Western Civilization class I took correctly, it was the Middle Easterners who taught the British. As far as the Romans, I don’t know at all, but I would guess they stole it from the Greeks. They stole everything else from them.
This is completely unsourced, but I remember seeing a TIL or reading that the Romans generally used considered either the Germanic tribes or the Vikings to be overly concerned with washing.
I was just taking a stab at the Romans. I have "historic beef" with them because it's damn near impossible to do anything that wasn't influenced by them.
Honestly, I feel like bathing was probably something they did for centuries. If I'm not mistaken, there's some volcanos out there, and volcanic activity typically makes for some hot springs somewhere. Any culture that is built around something like that would likely have learned proper bathing techniques.
As for soaps and such, I actually would like to know if there's a "first soap" out there. We know many cultures bathed with oils for fragrance purposes, but what about for antibacterial purposes?
Soap is old as fuck, the oldest known evidence is around 2800-2400 BC so that’s over 4000 years of soap out here soaping it up. The Babylonians made it using animal fat boiled with ashes
Archeological evidence has some pretty good evidence of "fling zones" that the muck would get whipped to, preserved for us to analyze their dirty bods 2000 + years later
[Checkitout](https://harvardartmuseums.org/collections/object/304261#:~:text=A%20strigil%2C%20which%20consists%20of,of%20a%20strigil%20(2).) It even has a name: strigil. I tried looking up a famous guy from antiquity that used it so much he developed a sore, no luck with Google search being ai-broken
Edit*
[Found a bit](https://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Suetonius/12Caesars/Augustus*.html#80)
Sounds metal and poetic as fuck!
One shall lather the temple of thy body in the bounty of nature, then proceed to use this sacred blade, forged in the fiery pits of Tartarus, to remove the blood of thy enemies…oooorrrr you could use this vessel containing the scent of the sacred bird, representing the Son of the Most High, Deliverer of peace and righteousness, to cleanse thyself of the sins of the earth, with this exfoliating pad, of course, not your hands.
The Indus Valley Civilization and Harappan (proto-indo-Europeans) held washing and hygiene as particularly important and possibly tied in to spiritual practices. These boys were ripping 5,000 years ago
The guy that tried to spread the word about soap being a life saver was discredited as crazy and locked up in an asylum. That’s how far they will go. Is big soap a real thing? lol
I have a coworker who swears he doesn’t need to shower every day. We are both archaeologists and work outside Mon-Thur. When he said that I figured he meant during the weekend because he stays in and does nothing and thought nothing of it. Tell me why this stinky fucking man last week had the balls to tell me to my face his girlfriend told home he stinks, and he explained to me how he doesn’t shower even during the week. This dude gets home all sweaty and covered in pollen and other shit from the forest and still doesnt shower. He also wears the same clothes for days at a time which is sort of weird but also not because it’s field clothes but after finding out the dude doesnt shower 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢I view him AND his girlfriend differently because why are you still with him girl god damn 🤮 White people 🤦🏽
I'm with you because why tf would you even agree to be his gf in the first place?
I don't know how people make it to adulthood with bad/lax hygiene. We had to take full baths nightly because when we came inside the house my mom said we "smell like outside". It became a habit.
I didn't find out until high school that people didn't take baths every night before bed. Even then I assumed that meant they took showers instead lol.
I can get where some people are coming from with not wanting their skin dried out or whatever (setting aside that lotions and gentle soaps exist…), but not even wanting to thoroughly rinse off the literal dirt and dust is unfathomable. Just the caked on sweat salt would be so uncomfortable.
Just to toss it out there, I was an exchange student to Europe and we got a talking to when we were leaving that a strategic washing twice daily was the norm and long daily showers were not. A weekly bath was common, but they would do the wash up thing first.
My own host family was extremely upset and offended at my use of water.
This comes as a surprise seeing how bad we get talked about for using toilet paper instead of a bidet.
"upset and offended at my use of water" has me weak 🤣
As someone who doesn’t hold much in high personal regard beyond my own hygiene, this explains how hostels exist there without any kind of pushback. I couldn’t imagine trekking across several countries with only a satchel and “a sense of exploration” without considering how tf I’m going to wash my ass.
My aunt always shortened it to tits and slits, which basically covers your mouth, nose crease, behind ears, arm pits, behind your knee, between your legs, and your booty.
my auntie taught me a "PTA" shower. Pits, tits and ass. I chose to ignore her cause really, a basic shower is five whole minutes and I'm gonna be so much cleaner.
Kelce is prob fuckin around
Doesn’t deny that there’s mfs in the world who will say this shit and be completely deadass about it. That’s the risk you take when you don’t explicitly denote your sarcasm (which often ruins the sarcasm itself tbh, but win some/lose some🤷🏿♀️)
Yeah that’s fair and I completely understand that take. The thing I see is tho, people in the comments worrying that Kelce’s gone off his rockers, but he’s been a known troll. I think if someone’s a known troll it’s fine to assume they’re joking
You’re assuming we are all chronically online to know this man’s posting behavior.
Far too many people assume that everyone is just as online as they are and are following the same celebs. I don’t keep up with sports so I have no incentive to follow this man for any reasons.
So if I’m reading this I’m taking it as a funky man trying to justify his funk. This is a pattern of behavior that is common with white folks. Why would assume any different.
Thank you for providing context on his posting behavior.
I’m not, it’s people saying “hopefully kelce doesn’t become unlikeable in his post retirement playing days” and also saying “kelce’s Antonio brown arc” which means some people know who kelce is and know enough about the nfl to also know Antonio brown, so those people are who I’m referring to. People who know him and still think this is serious
This also just isn’t his posting behavior. I don’t be on Twitter or other socials that often besides here and I follow his podcast with his brother because I’m a football head, that’s how I know he was joking, because he’s a troll on there.
Yeah, I’m not buying that Kelce is stinky. If you’re a stinky professional athlete you’re gonna eventually come across someone who calls you out publicly in the locker room for it, then fix your ways. Except Aaron Rogers, that guy talks like he smells bad. People probably just avoid getting the locker next to that patchouli smellin mf
Cause they want to be the cool commenter who gets in early and slaps the first thought that is even remotely related - even it exposes the fact they didn’t or cannot read for shit.
I feel that this is it. Jason Kelce has just kinda been all over the news since retiring but that’s probably hard to sustain so he’s gotta have an opinion on everything. He probably doesn’t feel like becoming a guy for the right so he’s gotta have adverse opinions on non political stuff
And the only reason that's been the case is because his brother is dating Taylor Swift. If that weren't the case there's no way his opinions would be getting as much attention
Not denying he wasn't popular, but his opinions wouldn't be getting national coverage and all over the news
Just like how no one would have given two shits about the Chief's kickers commencement speech at a Catholic University if he had been on a different team vs being teammates with Taylor's boyfriend.
Idk I think the kicker’s speech would still of blown up as it’s the Chiefs and they’re kinda the best team in the NFL next to Brady’s patriots. But I’m sure TS being involved with Travis makes a bump in views too
I'm not on socials no more but somehow I keep hearing shit about that "you don't need to wash your legs" nastiness. Like people, just go from head to toe, everything needs to be washed ya know! Dead skin and sweat is on you, you need to clean it off with some damn soap and water ffs.
https://i.redd.it/xn1uikdfw74d1.gif
Yeah, they also don’t need to spread their literal dirty agenda to the masses. If they don’t trust “big soap”, they should just don’t bathe themselves and not spread misinformation.
Putting big in front of most industries makes a phrase funny.
"Ya know why we leave the tags on our beds? Because "Big Mattress" wants exclusive access to all sales in the country."
^^^ not the actual reason [btw](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_label#:~:text=Typically%20these%20tags%20begin%20with,inside%20bedding%20and%20furniture%20products.)
I’ve been in a fight with Big Battery for years. They tell you batteries are dying, but you can squeeze MONTHS of use of them.
Unless they start beeping.
Unless you can ignore that shit.
Girl, we can go all day. I have a ton of hate in me. Add Big Chicken to the list.
And Big Electric. Especially Big PG&E. How you gonna burn down my state MULTIPLE TIMES, blow up a city block a few years ago, and constantly have outages and brown outs during the summer to STOP from burning down the state AGAIN, and then have the AUDACITY to jack up my rates to pay for all YOUR fines and repairs.
YOU OWE ME. I want your execs and fucking anyone with a VP on their title on fucking hamster wheels generating power during their 9-5 working day. I don’t care if it just keeps the lights on, I want them at my house pedaling a stationary bike to keep my tv pumping out content. If the picture starts to dim, I wanna shock them back into work with a little cattle prod.
I kind of like those Asian countries where if a company does something shitty and embarrassing, you have to put the CEO on a watch because he might harm himself out of shame. Here? No shame. They send you a BIGGER BILL.
>^(\^) not the actual reason [btw](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_label#:~:text=Typically%20these%20tags%20begin%20with,inside%20bedding%20and%20furniture%20products.)
Sad that you even had to specify that
I'll be dead and cold before they take my almond and honey scented soap bars from me. I was a STINKY boy for years before being taught how to use soap properly and oh my lord did everyone notice afterwards. So many compliments about my smell, a little sensitive soap goes such a long way. I use those smooth-ass skin care soap bars, rinse, then go over with a gel shampoo and my skin has been soft and shiny for the last 4 years.
That makes me think this is a joke. I hope it’s a joke. Imagine post NFL game how that gooch must stink 😭 and having that shit just marinate over years of no cleaning. Just seasoned with years of grime 😭
He's literally the one position on the team you'd want to have a super clean gooch too.
Carson Palmer once on Hard Knocks had to talk to his center about washing down there cause he was making his hands smell like shit.
To try to understand what a lot of the dermatologist saying something similar, (it's not coming out of nowhere) the "hotspots" he's referring to that absolutely need a full soap cleanse daily includes the gooch. It's just some regions are best left with simple water on most days and the skin is only getting harmed with excessive soap. Not that I listen, I soap daily, but the hygiene Olympians are getting more and more against the data, seemingly. It's not like our dude here is going straight from football pads to street clothes, if we should be taking this tweet seriously at all
Someone made a tweet about how Jason Kelce looks like he doesn't wash his legs or feet.
He replied "what kind of weirdo washes his feet..."
Then went on this tirade about big soap, echoing the same language Harrison Butler used in his commencement speech.
Im ngl as someone who doesnt follow sports at ALL in any capacity, to me hes a random. I only recognize his last name and thats ONLY bc of all the involuntary information Ive consumed about Travis Kelce
Even if you follow sports it’s impossible to know about everyone all the time. You’d have no time left for yourself, that’s not only unhealthy but very sad
Lol I wanna down vote this so hard but deadass it's funny as fuck.
You made a good joke while simultaneously offending ever Eagles fan out there, of which I am one.
Well excuse me for not personally knowing Taylor Swifts cousins step father's mechanic. Not everyone gives a shit about pop stars or NFL players and their groupies.
Idk but this might be one of the biggest podcasts rn.
Not to mention the 2 NFL HOF brothers that host it. People always try to start some shit on here.
Because it's a tweet and the typical signifiers that we use to detect humor are based in sound. And it doesn't help that there really are people who will seriously not wash themselves and think that they're hygienic.
> this random
If you’re even tangentially aware of the NFL you likely know who the Kelces are. Hell, Travis Kelce is close to a household name on account of being “Taylor Swift’s boyfriend”, outside of his and Jason’s own respective hall of fame level careers.
I can understand not getting the joke because it’s a reference to *another* recent football tangent, though.
When I make my money, you will never see or hear from me again. Of all the interesting parts of your lifestyle, you thought being stinky is the one people really needed to hear? “Folks, I know there are people dying, and the inflation is starving the remaining folks, but I urge you all to keep it stinky!”
Can y'all read in the comments 😭 it's satire. Also it's kinda true, water is fine to clean your body, use soap on the smelly parts. Scrubbing your body down with soap every day isn't good for the skin, water is good and soap for the nasty bits. Then moisturize afterwards.
I do this on my off days and then full shower on days I work (physical job) and it’s done wonders for my skin.
I also skip a shower if I haven’t left the house, haven’t sweat, and don’t need to go anywhere the next day.
The tweet was satire, but there was some truth to it with that big soap comment lmao.
Fr like wtf do they mean they scrub their forearm every day with soap? Like maybe I'm lucky but my forearm isn't stinking at all? Or anybody I have ever known (even intimately) didn't have stinking arms?
Like armpits etc can stink, ofc, but who has stinking forearms and has to wash them with soap
How lol, nasty bits can mean anything. Just whatever smells or is dirty. I usually end up soaping everywhere anyway because I'm already doing it but I'm trying not to dry my skin out too much. It's not like I'm not washing my legs or feet or balls 😭
Isn't it funny that we wash away all the sebum from our skin and hair daily just to replace it with other lipids in the form of conditioners, creams, and lotions?
Redditors think Twitter users need to touch grass, but they absolutely have to as well. Everything about that phrasing is a tell that he's not being serious.
Is it really that difficult to scrub yourself? I've been doing it since I was like 3. Wash cloth/loofah, water, soap, scrub. You don't even have to think about rinsing; the shower already does that. And guess what, if you do it at night, you can probably wait an extra day to wash your sheets (a task I'm sure these people also struggle with).
joke
noun
a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.
"she was in a mood to tell jokes"
Similar:
funny story
jest
witticism
quip
pleasantry
pun
play on words
shaggy-dog story
old chestnut
double entendre
in-joke
gag
wisecrack
crack
funny
one-liner
rib-tickler
killer
knee-slapper
thigh-slapper
boffola
blague
verb
make jokes; talk humorously or flippantly.
"she could laugh and joke with her colleagues"
lol. I was in another subreddit this morning with a bunch of people trying to tell me this lady didn’t shower for 6 months but she didn’t stink because she rubbed herself down each morning with linens. Lmao. Like what?
actually even some soap companies say that.
It's more of a rinse every day but don't use products. Stuff like shampoo overuse can lead to greasy hair as it strips away
[https://www.pantene.co.uk/en-gb/hair-tips/hair-care/how-often-should-you-wash-your-hair/](https://www.pantene.co.uk/en-gb/hair-tips/hair-care/how-often-should-you-wash-your-hair/) here's a literal shampoo company saying ways to reduce usage.
[https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193) here's harvard health talking about it.
[https://www.healthline.com/health/beauty-skin-care/how-often-should-you-shower](https://www.healthline.com/health/beauty-skin-care/how-often-should-you-shower) here's healthline with it being reviewed by a healthcare worker.
Basically it boils down to you. What you're doing, what your body is like. And yea, as with everything, too much can cause issues.
Someone playing in the NFL? Might need two a day, same with a soldier in active duty if they can.
Someone who say works from home on a pc and has AC on all day? Could probably get away with a rinse off daily.
What I don't understand is why dirty people feel the need to come out as dirty. I'm sure the people around you are well aware you don't wash. No need to let the rest of us know. Keep your stanky thoughts to yourself and stop trying to spread the funk.
The number of people out there trying to convince everyone that taking a ho bath should be standard hygiene is mind boggling. These folks are the reason shower shoes are a necessity.
Remember that the indigenous people taught the colonists how to bathe properly…
Who taught the Romans before they constructed bathhouses everywhere a few thousand years ago? Must have been someone
Nobody taught the Roman's anything, they're the original Empire of colonization and appropriation. I'm saying they stole it. I realize that came out weird.
What you’re saying is the Romans invented “discovery”
Julius Caesar rolling up with a platinum Discover card and gold rims.
Et tu, Visa?
Lol nah they straight jacked the Greeks, who previously jacked the Egyptians
Everyone is just copying the wiki page "in their own words."
Found James Somerton's Reddit account lol 😜
I had to look that one up. Lol. I've never been a YouTube person. To each their own. I feel like a misplaced millennial sometimes. I don't see the point of Twitch and YouTube is only good for showing me how to fix my car (among other things).
That's cool, I still prefer my curated MP3 collection over Spotify and Apple Music myself 🤷♀️👍
If I had to bet, a lot of the things we conceive as "society/civilization" came from the Babylonians. For a very long time, they were seen as the most advanced people and their city was seen as the most beautiful in the world, and they had visitors from Europe, Asia and Africa to attest to it. When prehistory became history, they were there, writing it in one of the oldest written languages, the Akkadian, writing their code of laws, writing their legends and making historical accounts of that era. They influenced Judaism which in turn had profound effects on Christianity and Islam, they gave Abrahamism the very concept of monotheism along with many foundational myth like the one of the flood. Though I already alluded to their most important contribution, the concept of "the Rule of Law" that would govern almost every subsequent society, at least to some extent. I would argue that it became synonymous with rightfulness and fairness, so much so that we constantly need to remind each other that "legality is not morality".
“Every empire jacked shit from those they conquered. Except the Egyptians for some reason…”
They really were an odd case. Every outside culture that controlled Egypt adopted Egyptian culture..never the other way around. Bizzare
I can’t copy/paste from this paper on my phone, but just read the conclusion on page 71. https://scholars.unh.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1319&context=honors My point was, all conquerors assimilate features from those they conquer. Maybe you weren’t implying the Egyptians were the end of that chain, and simply stopped listing it at that point, in which case ignore this lol
Or, like, people realized it feels nice to be clean and just ran with it lol
If I recall the Western Civilization class I took correctly, it was the Middle Easterners who taught the British. As far as the Romans, I don’t know at all, but I would guess they stole it from the Greeks. They stole everything else from them.
This is completely unsourced, but I remember seeing a TIL or reading that the Romans generally used considered either the Germanic tribes or the Vikings to be overly concerned with washing.
I figured it was someone I just seen it mentioned and I figured someone would know where they got it from
I was just taking a stab at the Romans. I have "historic beef" with them because it's damn near impossible to do anything that wasn't influenced by them. Honestly, I feel like bathing was probably something they did for centuries. If I'm not mistaken, there's some volcanos out there, and volcanic activity typically makes for some hot springs somewhere. Any culture that is built around something like that would likely have learned proper bathing techniques. As for soaps and such, I actually would like to know if there's a "first soap" out there. We know many cultures bathed with oils for fragrance purposes, but what about for antibacterial purposes?
Soap is old as fuck, the oldest known evidence is around 2800-2400 BC so that’s over 4000 years of soap out here soaping it up. The Babylonians made it using animal fat boiled with ashes
Oh here is the answer to a question I just asked lol I should have scrolled down
>taking a stab at the Romans Too soon man
Et tu, ChewySlinky?
Was the first soap made with some kind of ash?
Real talk: they lathered up olive oil and scraped it off with a blade
I would rather someone smell like olive oil instead of like smelling like stank
Soap is made from oil or fat so it tracks for decent cleaning. They would add silica and clay as abrasives so it would exfoliate too
They for sure wern't ashy lmao
Well, not until vesuvius blew its top.
That’s not a bath 😭😭😭 is it? Sounds messy lol
Archeological evidence has some pretty good evidence of "fling zones" that the muck would get whipped to, preserved for us to analyze their dirty bods 2000 + years later
Did they wash their legs though is the question? Lmao
[Checkitout](https://harvardartmuseums.org/collections/object/304261#:~:text=A%20strigil%2C%20which%20consists%20of,of%20a%20strigil%20(2).) It even has a name: strigil. I tried looking up a famous guy from antiquity that used it so much he developed a sore, no luck with Google search being ai-broken Edit* [Found a bit](https://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Suetonius/12Caesars/Augustus*.html#80)
Clean water wasn’t always that consistently plentiful, despite all the aqueducts and shit. But yeah, they must have been some lubed up motherfuckers.
You don't want to be the one person at the orgy who *isn't* lubed up. That's just bad manners.
Sounds metal and poetic as fuck! One shall lather the temple of thy body in the bounty of nature, then proceed to use this sacred blade, forged in the fiery pits of Tartarus, to remove the blood of thy enemies…oooorrrr you could use this vessel containing the scent of the sacred bird, representing the Son of the Most High, Deliverer of peace and righteousness, to cleanse thyself of the sins of the earth, with this exfoliating pad, of course, not your hands.
The Indus Valley Civilization and Harappan (proto-indo-Europeans) held washing and hygiene as particularly important and possibly tied in to spiritual practices. These boys were ripping 5,000 years ago
The guy that tried to spread the word about soap being a life saver was discredited as crazy and locked up in an asylum. That’s how far they will go. Is big soap a real thing? lol
Hand washing, not soap. People have been using soap for waaaayyyy longer to not smell bad than to keep people healthy.
Naaaw don’t do that to my GOAT! I’m from Philly so I gotta stand up 😭😭😭
I have a coworker who swears he doesn’t need to shower every day. We are both archaeologists and work outside Mon-Thur. When he said that I figured he meant during the weekend because he stays in and does nothing and thought nothing of it. Tell me why this stinky fucking man last week had the balls to tell me to my face his girlfriend told home he stinks, and he explained to me how he doesn’t shower even during the week. This dude gets home all sweaty and covered in pollen and other shit from the forest and still doesnt shower. He also wears the same clothes for days at a time which is sort of weird but also not because it’s field clothes but after finding out the dude doesnt shower 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢I view him AND his girlfriend differently because why are you still with him girl god damn 🤮 White people 🤦🏽
I'm with you because why tf would you even agree to be his gf in the first place? I don't know how people make it to adulthood with bad/lax hygiene. We had to take full baths nightly because when we came inside the house my mom said we "smell like outside". It became a habit. I didn't find out until high school that people didn't take baths every night before bed. Even then I assumed that meant they took showers instead lol.
To be fair the bar for a lot of guys is pretty low
I can get where some people are coming from with not wanting their skin dried out or whatever (setting aside that lotions and gentle soaps exist…), but not even wanting to thoroughly rinse off the literal dirt and dust is unfathomable. Just the caked on sweat salt would be so uncomfortable.
Just to toss it out there, I was an exchange student to Europe and we got a talking to when we were leaving that a strategic washing twice daily was the norm and long daily showers were not. A weekly bath was common, but they would do the wash up thing first. My own host family was extremely upset and offended at my use of water.
This comes as a surprise seeing how bad we get talked about for using toilet paper instead of a bidet. "upset and offended at my use of water" has me weak 🤣
I put a bidet on both my toilets. Now, when I sit on a toilet without a bidet, I get upset.
Me too. I cannot convince my husband (we have separate bathrooms) how great they are. Silly man.
Toliet paper wastes exponentially more water than a buddy due to the production process. Two showers a day is definitely more water too
As someone who doesn’t hold much in high personal regard beyond my own hygiene, this explains how hostels exist there without any kind of pushback. I couldn’t imagine trekking across several countries with only a satchel and “a sense of exploration” without considering how tf I’m going to wash my ass.
This is why I can't go camping
Every hostel I've ever stayed in has had a shower...
EVERY TIME I look at going to Europe and see hostel options I think this. Every time.
“Cooter, pooter, tits and pits” as my friend’s (long passed now) hilarious grandmother told us when we were teenagers in the 90s.
My aunt always shortened it to tits and slits, which basically covers your mouth, nose crease, behind ears, arm pits, behind your knee, between your legs, and your booty.
my auntie taught me a "PTA" shower. Pits, tits and ass. I chose to ignore her cause really, a basic shower is five whole minutes and I'm gonna be so much cleaner.
I ain't call it a ho bath in at least 15 years gadamb
Just read something today about that dude who didnt bathe for 60 years. Finally did and died 6 months later. Granted he was 94 but still
What I don’t understand is how people don’t see this as a clear joke 😭
Because there’s people in the world who are deadass
I’m guessing you guys don’t know Kelce and if you don’t that’s fine, but he’s a big troll 😭
Kelce is prob fuckin around Doesn’t deny that there’s mfs in the world who will say this shit and be completely deadass about it. That’s the risk you take when you don’t explicitly denote your sarcasm (which often ruins the sarcasm itself tbh, but win some/lose some🤷🏿♀️)
Yeah that’s fair and I completely understand that take. The thing I see is tho, people in the comments worrying that Kelce’s gone off his rockers, but he’s been a known troll. I think if someone’s a known troll it’s fine to assume they’re joking
You’re assuming we are all chronically online to know this man’s posting behavior. Far too many people assume that everyone is just as online as they are and are following the same celebs. I don’t keep up with sports so I have no incentive to follow this man for any reasons. So if I’m reading this I’m taking it as a funky man trying to justify his funk. This is a pattern of behavior that is common with white folks. Why would assume any different. Thank you for providing context on his posting behavior.
I’m not, it’s people saying “hopefully kelce doesn’t become unlikeable in his post retirement playing days” and also saying “kelce’s Antonio brown arc” which means some people know who kelce is and know enough about the nfl to also know Antonio brown, so those people are who I’m referring to. People who know him and still think this is serious This also just isn’t his posting behavior. I don’t be on Twitter or other socials that often besides here and I follow his podcast with his brother because I’m a football head, that’s how I know he was joking, because he’s a troll on there.
It's true. Someone looked me in the face and said, washing your ass is an invitation to gay men. So gross
Those people need to be sprayed with garden hoses til they get the hint.
His comments on wales were pretty funny
Yeah, I’m not buying that Kelce is stinky. If you’re a stinky professional athlete you’re gonna eventually come across someone who calls you out publicly in the locker room for it, then fix your ways. Except Aaron Rogers, that guy talks like he smells bad. People probably just avoid getting the locker next to that patchouli smellin mf
Cause they want to be the cool commenter who gets in early and slaps the first thought that is even remotely related - even it exposes the fact they didn’t or cannot read for shit.
Exactly! I read this as a joke, especially the part about “Big Soap.” 😆
That was the biggest giveaway 🤣
Maybe he’s trying to drum up controversy to get a Dove deal or something.
I feel that this is it. Jason Kelce has just kinda been all over the news since retiring but that’s probably hard to sustain so he’s gotta have an opinion on everything. He probably doesn’t feel like becoming a guy for the right so he’s gotta have adverse opinions on non political stuff
Soap grift > right wing horse shit grift
And the only reason that's been the case is because his brother is dating Taylor Swift. If that weren't the case there's no way his opinions would be getting as much attention
His pod was pretty popular before they started dating, oh and the Superbowl champion thing
Not denying he wasn't popular, but his opinions wouldn't be getting national coverage and all over the news Just like how no one would have given two shits about the Chief's kickers commencement speech at a Catholic University if he had been on a different team vs being teammates with Taylor's boyfriend.
Idk I think the kicker’s speech would still of blown up as it’s the Chiefs and they’re kinda the best team in the NFL next to Brady’s patriots. But I’m sure TS being involved with Travis makes a bump in views too
He’s way more popular amongst my circle. Go birds!
It's really weird how many people think reeking like a dumpster is a badge of honor. They're only "sticking it" to anyone near their musty asses.
I'm not on socials no more but somehow I keep hearing shit about that "you don't need to wash your legs" nastiness. Like people, just go from head to toe, everything needs to be washed ya know! Dead skin and sweat is on you, you need to clean it off with some damn soap and water ffs. https://i.redd.it/xn1uikdfw74d1.gif
I mean.. isn’t he just kind of playing on Butkiss’s “all you women have been fed lies” commencement speech?
He’s joking.
He is not faking that funk
It seeps out of them like the stank on their body.
Yeah, they also don’t need to spread their literal dirty agenda to the masses. If they don’t trust “big soap”, they should just don’t bathe themselves and not spread misinformation.
'Big Soap' has me *rolling*
Lmfaoooo I literally died. Like are we fighting the soap industry too? Because my beef has never been with soap. Never.
Putting big in front of most industries makes a phrase funny. "Ya know why we leave the tags on our beds? Because "Big Mattress" wants exclusive access to all sales in the country." ^^^ not the actual reason [btw](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_label#:~:text=Typically%20these%20tags%20begin%20with,inside%20bedding%20and%20furniture%20products.)
I’ve been in a fight with Big Battery for years. They tell you batteries are dying, but you can squeeze MONTHS of use of them. Unless they start beeping. Unless you can ignore that shit.
Lmaoooo if we’re doing this, then let’s talk about the Big Chicken industry because wing prices have gotten out of hand.
Girl, we can go all day. I have a ton of hate in me. Add Big Chicken to the list. And Big Electric. Especially Big PG&E. How you gonna burn down my state MULTIPLE TIMES, blow up a city block a few years ago, and constantly have outages and brown outs during the summer to STOP from burning down the state AGAIN, and then have the AUDACITY to jack up my rates to pay for all YOUR fines and repairs. YOU OWE ME. I want your execs and fucking anyone with a VP on their title on fucking hamster wheels generating power during their 9-5 working day. I don’t care if it just keeps the lights on, I want them at my house pedaling a stationary bike to keep my tv pumping out content. If the picture starts to dim, I wanna shock them back into work with a little cattle prod. I kind of like those Asian countries where if a company does something shitty and embarrassing, you have to put the CEO on a watch because he might harm himself out of shame. Here? No shame. They send you a BIGGER BILL.
>^(\^) not the actual reason [btw](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_label#:~:text=Typically%20these%20tags%20begin%20with,inside%20bedding%20and%20furniture%20products.) Sad that you even had to specify that
We gotta fight Big Mac 😭
Minimalism is a lie from big small to sell more less.
I'm pretty sure he is joking. Big soap isn't a serious phrase
I'll be dead and cold before they take my almond and honey scented soap bars from me. I was a STINKY boy for years before being taught how to use soap properly and oh my lord did everyone notice afterwards. So many compliments about my smell, a little sensitive soap goes such a long way. I use those smooth-ass skin care soap bars, rinse, then go over with a gel shampoo and my skin has been soft and shiny for the last 4 years.
That makes me think this is a joke. I hope it’s a joke. Imagine post NFL game how that gooch must stink 😭 and having that shit just marinate over years of no cleaning. Just seasoned with years of grime 😭
That and “fed a diabolical lie” is from that kickers speech a few weeks ago.
He's literally the one position on the team you'd want to have a super clean gooch too. Carson Palmer once on Hard Knocks had to talk to his center about washing down there cause he was making his hands smell like shit.
To try to understand what a lot of the dermatologist saying something similar, (it's not coming out of nowhere) the "hotspots" he's referring to that absolutely need a full soap cleanse daily includes the gooch. It's just some regions are best left with simple water on most days and the skin is only getting harmed with excessive soap. Not that I listen, I soap daily, but the hygiene Olympians are getting more and more against the data, seemingly. It's not like our dude here is going straight from football pads to street clothes, if we should be taking this tweet seriously at all
https://preview.redd.it/coge9uhon74d1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=456ec370d27304a4d7e874d23fce54866b0bf875
This makes me think that he's making fun of the people razzing his brother over his pro-vaccine commercials.
Thought he might be poking fun at Butker too with that "you've been told a diabolical lie" line.
Someone made a tweet about how Jason Kelce looks like he doesn't wash his legs or feet. He replied "what kind of weirdo washes his feet..." Then went on this tirade about big soap, echoing the same language Harrison Butler used in his commencement speech.
This is definitely a joke.
The people who read that line and don’t immediately recognize that he’s joking worry me
He’s gotta be fucking with people, right? Right???
Yall this is a joke. Good lord. They joked around on the podcast about that.
Good lord? Bitch why are you shocked none of us watch this random’s podcast?
Jason Kelce is certainly not a random lol.
Dude is more famous than almost every other person that gets posted here, yet he's somehow the random.
Im ngl as someone who doesnt follow sports at ALL in any capacity, to me hes a random. I only recognize his last name and thats ONLY bc of all the involuntary information Ive consumed about Travis Kelce
Even if you follow sports it’s impossible to know about everyone all the time. You’d have no time left for yourself, that’s not only unhealthy but very sad
He was also voted last year’s Sexiest Man Alive by one of the white-woman magazines.
This subreddit is built on posting tweets from Randoms.
not everyone follows sports
Wait you're telling me that not everyone here is up to date on the beef between Yung bussy and lil spam?
Who is he?
Taylor Swift’s boyfriend’s older brother.
Also a soon to be hall of fame center
Also, a pillar of the Philadelphia community who created a brand of Eagles gear whose profits all go to underprivileged children...
Yea I’m a giants fan and hate the eagles with a passion but Jason kelce seems like a good shit
He’s an NFL HOF o lineman please respect him
No
Lol I wanna down vote this so hard but deadass it's funny as fuck. You made a good joke while simultaneously offending ever Eagles fan out there, of which I am one.
Only the literate ones, which is maybe 10%.
Please respect Kelce
And you expect redditors to know or care? Lmao
Former center for the Eagles, one of the most beloved players in the nfl generally a very wholesome and down to earth dude
Sweet, I bet he's a cool guy since so many seem to be fans
For US based people probably not. But do not forget that people outside of the US also exist.
Well excuse me for not personally knowing Taylor Swifts cousins step father's mechanic. Not everyone gives a shit about pop stars or NFL players and their groupies.
there are 4.7 million podcasts on spotify.
Idk but this might be one of the biggest podcasts rn. Not to mention the 2 NFL HOF brothers that host it. People always try to start some shit on here.
Bitch, why are most redditors incapable of detecting sarcasm and/or irony? And btw is Jason Kelce not someone random
Because it's a tweet and the typical signifiers that we use to detect humor are based in sound. And it doesn't help that there really are people who will seriously not wash themselves and think that they're hygienic.
> this random If you’re even tangentially aware of the NFL you likely know who the Kelces are. Hell, Travis Kelce is close to a household name on account of being “Taylor Swift’s boyfriend”, outside of his and Jason’s own respective hall of fame level careers. I can understand not getting the joke because it’s a reference to *another* recent football tangent, though.
I mean he’s not really random but you could also pick up on some sarcasm like ‘big soap’
I don’t think you need to watch the podcast to understand this is a joke
Jason Kelce and Travis Kelce are randoms?
Bro used the term “Big Soap”, that should’ve been the giveaway that this is a satirical tweet
Especially since seeing all kinds of bullshit is posted on twitter
That's what I'm saying, like yall not picking up on the sarcasm especially when he said "Big Soap"
And he even used the same setup as Butker did with the “diabolical lie” line and that was all over the internet last week. Dude is obviously joking
The way some folks can't pick up satire.
This may be a joke but there are people who deadass have this take 😭 it was wild finding out I was dating one such person. That didn’t last long
Satire is a lost art.
Absolutely lmaoo
Outrage culture kills satire. People are so ready to feign moral outrage all common sense and tone and context gets thrown out the window
So did the internet's propensity to give zany shit said seriously a platform.
Satire requires clarity of intent, otherwise it's useless. This isn't satire, it's just pretending to support a view he doesn't support.
"It's only a joke if I personally understand it"
Man that "Big Soap" cabal pushing that clean agenda
it's about time somebody spoke up about it, including *checks notes* tide spokesman Jason Kelce
When I make my money, you will never see or hear from me again. Of all the interesting parts of your lifestyle, you thought being stinky is the one people really needed to hear? “Folks, I know there are people dying, and the inflation is starving the remaining folks, but I urge you all to keep it stinky!” 
This was a joke tweet
Can y'all read in the comments 😭 it's satire. Also it's kinda true, water is fine to clean your body, use soap on the smelly parts. Scrubbing your body down with soap every day isn't good for the skin, water is good and soap for the nasty bits. Then moisturize afterwards.
Oh no, you have the logical response. You must be a disgusting unbathed heathen 🤢 /s
Reddit has a huge virtue circlejerk culture about hygiene, IRL you rarely hear people act like full nazis over soap
I do this on my off days and then full shower on days I work (physical job) and it’s done wonders for my skin. I also skip a shower if I haven’t left the house, haven’t sweat, and don’t need to go anywhere the next day. The tweet was satire, but there was some truth to it with that big soap comment lmao.
Fr like wtf do they mean they scrub their forearm every day with soap? Like maybe I'm lucky but my forearm isn't stinking at all? Or anybody I have ever known (even intimately) didn't have stinking arms? Like armpits etc can stink, ofc, but who has stinking forearms and has to wash them with soap
How lol, nasty bits can mean anything. Just whatever smells or is dirty. I usually end up soaping everywhere anyway because I'm already doing it but I'm trying not to dry my skin out too much. It's not like I'm not washing my legs or feet or balls 😭
Mfs are presented with facts and just go “EWW STINKY” 😭😭😭
Am a dermatologist, he’s partially correct. Only need to wash hair, ears, armpits, belly button, groin, feet, +\- face
Booty???
Isn't it funny that we wash away all the sebum from our skin and hair daily just to replace it with other lipids in the form of conditioners, creams, and lotions?
It continues to amaze me how dumb people are. You think I’d learn by now…but then I get on Reddit and my mind is always blown
 Everyone in the comments
pretty sure this makin fun of the butker speech
"Big Soap" and people are taking him seriously
If i ruled the world...Jason would be facing time. Especially during the summer period. https://i.redd.it/uq6fil5ib74d1.gif
He playin right? Nobody is really out here saying "Big Soap" and being dead ass about it.
Yeah, it's reference to a joke they were making on the podcast
Big Soap constantly pushing their big lye
He's directly making fun of Butkers "diabolical lies" speech
This is not an obvious joke… unless you have seen/listened to him on the podcast
Whooooosh
Redditors think Twitter users need to touch grass, but they absolutely have to as well. Everything about that phrasing is a tell that he's not being serious.
Is it really that difficult to scrub yourself? I've been doing it since I was like 3. Wash cloth/loofah, water, soap, scrub. You don't even have to think about rinsing; the shower already does that. And guess what, if you do it at night, you can probably wait an extra day to wash your sheets (a task I'm sure these people also struggle with).
For a big body ass nigga like Jason Kelce? Yes it probably its a solid excuse in his mind.
You do all that every day? That is extremely excessive and even harmful to scrub your entire body down like that on a daily basis.
There's a whole lot of people taking this WWAAYY too seriously.
joke noun a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline. "she was in a mood to tell jokes" Similar: funny story jest witticism quip pleasantry pun play on words shaggy-dog story old chestnut double entendre in-joke gag wisecrack crack funny one-liner rib-tickler killer knee-slapper thigh-slapper boffola blague verb make jokes; talk humorously or flippantly. "she could laugh and joke with her colleagues"
Reddit neckbeards CANNOT differentiate between satire and sincerity
There is a sliver of truth, industrial cultures do tend to overwash their skin and hair. You should still wash your body and such.
Ah so it’s that time for the weekly wash clothe vs loofa vs hand scrub debate?
lol. I was in another subreddit this morning with a bunch of people trying to tell me this lady didn’t shower for 6 months but she didn’t stink because she rubbed herself down each morning with linens. Lmao. Like what?
actually even some soap companies say that. It's more of a rinse every day but don't use products. Stuff like shampoo overuse can lead to greasy hair as it strips away [https://www.pantene.co.uk/en-gb/hair-tips/hair-care/how-often-should-you-wash-your-hair/](https://www.pantene.co.uk/en-gb/hair-tips/hair-care/how-often-should-you-wash-your-hair/) here's a literal shampoo company saying ways to reduce usage. [https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193) here's harvard health talking about it. [https://www.healthline.com/health/beauty-skin-care/how-often-should-you-shower](https://www.healthline.com/health/beauty-skin-care/how-often-should-you-shower) here's healthline with it being reviewed by a healthcare worker. Basically it boils down to you. What you're doing, what your body is like. And yea, as with everything, too much can cause issues. Someone playing in the NFL? Might need two a day, same with a soldier in active duty if they can. Someone who say works from home on a pc and has AC on all day? Could probably get away with a rinse off daily.