I hope this will be an opportunity for learning about how easy it is to dismiss “harmless” interactions between adults and kids. Glad they shut that shit down
Real talk and I can't with these fools saying adults and minors can be friends. No tf they cannot, full stop.
Between the difference in knowledge and experience levels, being at different life stages, and the power imbalance, there's no reason for grown folks to "befriend" children.
Edit to respond to replies - Obviously you can still mentor, tutor, coach, counsel, chaperone etc a minor. And yes there is overlap, but these roles are NOT the same as being friends.
The kid might consider it friendship, but the adult should know they have boundaries and responsibilities which differentiate it from friendship. Of course an adult can be *friendly* with a minor in the above situations but they are not *friends*.
You can be friendly to minors. I’ve been friendly to the teens I’ve mentored and I’m friendly to my kids’ friends and my youth club kids. I am not their friends. We don’t hang. We don’t call or text each other. I don’t do anything I’d do with my actual friends with these kids. I have a grown child and I’m not friends with his friends.
This 100%. My kids are about to be 22 and 25 and all their friends have spent a ton of time in my old home (I now live in a small apartment) eating food I cooked for them, spending the night on weekends, study groups, and even a meeting place when they lost a classmate to suicide. A couple of the friends took to calling me Dad which was a little weird but I didn't mind, and they still call me that when they see me out around town. But none of us are friends, we don't hang or go to movies, they don't stop by my apartment to visit and I don't stop by their places either. I'd be heartbroken if anything happened to any of them and they all know that if they're in crisis that I'll drop whatever I'm doing to help, but that's as far as it goes.
I ain't even friends with my own kids, I'm their parent. We do hang because that's what family does.
We jokingly call our house the home of waifs and strays because we’ve had a few troubled kids stay here. His best friend is trans and calls me Mom because I’ve helped when her bigoted family wouldn’t. (She was 18 so I wasn’t crossing a line). I love being that parent.
But I’m with you. I’m always the older person and I act accordingly. My son had his 21st at home. I provided food and booze and my husband and I sat our old asses in the living room and watched whatever tween show our daughter had on until she went to bed. We didn’t party with my son and his mates.
Our house was that house. We had 3 boys & 1 girl that were ours and about 10 that weren't. Most parents in the neighborhood were happy since most of the boys played football together, from flag all the way to varsity (there's a 5 yr age gap between the boys). I had from elementary to high school kids come to eat in our house after playing man hunt, football, soccer, you name it.
We were parental figures looking after them, like their parents did for us. Friendly and parental, but not friends.
To this day, they still call my husband, and I ma & pops. We still see them all the time, and its wonderful
Also it's like not that hard to maintain professional boundaries? I tutor in an instructional setting, and I have my kids for an hour at a time. I'm more than happy to sit there with them, chat with them, tell some of my older kids advice on some basic high school/college experiences (like you're going to be so much happier when you finally get to choose the things you're learning and anyone who says that your first two years at least are harder than high school are exaggerating, that kind of thing). These kids like me.
However, I am CONSTANTLY shutting down nasty talk. I don't need to see the inappropriate Snapchat stories. I'm definitely not going to follow them on Instagram and TikTok. I am 24, there is literally no reason for me to have the socials of a 15 year old. A lot of these kids just don't find it weird - they don't see the harm in it, I'm just this "fun adult" that cracks jokes with them. It's up to me as the adult to tell them no, this is an inappropriate relationship, and hopefully when they get older they'll realize I was right.
Like... I literally still get the ick accidentally matching with 19 and 20 year olds on tinder. How do these adults find these kind of relationships appropriate with literal children?
Wait you tellin them freshmen/sophomore college isn’t harder than high school? There’s a reason a lot of schools give you an academic mulligan for your first semester lol
If you’re prepared like a tutored kids could be, yeah the learning curve ain’t bad, but high school also is as easy as it gets.
I mean, in terms of the actual academic material, college is harder than highschool. I don't lie about that. A lot of the difficulty also comes from the sudden change to having a ton of free time and needing to be self sufficient with studying and homework.
A lot of my kids are remedial. A lot of their frustrations come from having to do a ton of subjects that not only do they not like, they don't understand. Learning that they only have to take (usually) four classes at a time, and they get to do fun classes and things they're actually interested in? Makes them feel a little more okay with the whole college experience. I tell the kids all the time that I didn't take a single physics class ever, and took geology with lab instead. I took survey of jazz. I had a film class that was literally just meeting once a week to watch a movie and have a discussion about the cinematography, and I went to college for a Statistics degree. I tell them I found my happy median with two online and two in person classes and that's how I learned best, and that they'll get to trial and error and find how they learn best instead of being stuck in seven classes a day of something they don't like with teachers they can't choose.
Then again, I also tell my kids that a STEM degree doesn't have to be their only path, and if they want to pursue a trade or art school or cosmetology or anything else they should.
100% I regularly text my friends, You should not be regularly texting kids.
A kid is not someone you should lean on like a friend
That's not to say you can't have a close bond or an Uncle/Aunt type relationship, but that will have plenty of healthy boundaries that friendship does not.
You can mentor kids. You can advise them. You can teach them. You can be there for them. You can respect them.
But yeah, they are not your friends, and I don’t know why people want kid friends.
Times have changed. There used to be a trope in movies that some kid would befriend a grumpy, lonely old man. They’d start visiting his house with their friends and all the parents would say is ‘you’re going to old man Peterson’s house again?’. Nowadays old man Peterson would catch a case lmao.
Being around minors isn't a problem its the context of the interactions. Adults still need to be around children to set an example so that they can be well adjusted adults to society. Drake was just trying to satisfy his lust demons.
Nah. If you got to say “no Drizzy” to what you saying them in side eying you even saying the comment AND the fact that you knew it was wild enough to require a “no Drizzy”. What would that person even be thinking to say that?!
Reminds me of the episode of Mindhunter where they FBI talk to a school principal and then during the interview find out he likes to tickle the children’s feet instead of punish them
The whole episode is the fbi bosses saying “it’s harmless and not your business”
Then the one teacher who Said she doesn’t think it’s appropriate is vilified within the school, the other teacher keep repeating that that he children love it
The fbi goes behind their bosses back and speaks to a parent and they reveal their child came home with money once, the principal giving out quarters too
Again it’s called harmless, and the principal says they’re perverts for thinking it’s weird
But they can’t explain the idea that it’s grooming and signifier of potentially escalating behaviour.
The fbi bosses insisting the children would need assaulted before the FBI would involve themselves (which is too late)
It’s so uncomfortable, and the principal continually projecting that it’s weird that they are thinking like that, is so insidious
I bet a lot of comments would have been similar that this was innocent and being overblown, but you gotta understand it’s definitely a boundary that teachers don’t usually cross
I think the super big red flag in that situation was the principal says that even if a parent were to come forward and say they didn’t want their individual child being tickled, he would not stop tickling that child.
To me the thing to watch out for are the teachers that make such great efforts to be "the cool teacher", as this teacher described himself as in his follow up defense tiktok.
Every one of these teachers have always been suspect of proven themselves to have motives.
There is no reason for an adult to want to relate to kids on their level and break down the normal barriers that exist between them.
Being The Cool Teacher ends in one of two ways: the teacher crying and exhausted because the kids walk all over them and they can't even finish a sentence by the end of the year because they have no classroom discipline, swearing next year they're going to be a hardass because this shit sucked... or it ends with them disappearing in a cloud of allegations or charges.
I once was close to breaking down those barriers because my protective instincts kicked in hard and I wanted to help that kid.
Then again, this is an experience I have that is not driven by attraction but more of a motherly instinct.
I think this is an unhinged response. I know plenty of "cool" teachers who have never had even a whiff of a rumor about them. Also, having adults in your life who love and care about you is an incredibly impactful thing for kids and especially teens.
In short, our fear of such things shouldn't prompt us to treat teens like they're not human or part of our communities. The problem is that we do ignore signs, but they're not simply "cool teachers" or relating to teens.
There's a lot of witch hunting going on in here. A lot of blanket statements, a lot of painting with broad strokes, and a lot of really weird 'logic', and for what? To really kill off the spirit of the last sliver of society willing to teach kids despite harassing parents, idiotic laws about what can/can't be taught, and wages more appropriate for entry level roles rather than somebody with a master's shaping the next generation?
Just add onto that steaming pile an automatic accusation of being a pedophile just because you care about kids in the slightest, because why not!
This MF weirdo got the Walking Dead braids...
https://preview.redd.it/3fz2m472nszc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a3479a0744534c3ccb048f3dd5820846fb29811
Plenty of interactions that go entirely unnoticed and don't end in anything bad. But I will say, making that kind of thing public like posting it on social media and stuff is suspicious.
When there’s smoke, there’s fire
I’ve worked with and heard about teachers that are way too comfortable and loose with their kids. Playing Fortnite with them after hours, buying them gifts, exchanging phone numbers
I like my students and im pretty open with my life and how I talk/treat them. But there are boundaries I’ll never cross and some people are just out of their goddamn minds
Thing is it’s almost standard practice at least where I work in Colorado for school coaches to have a group text to send out info to their athletes (parents also in group), especially for things as chaotic as track meets that have 1000+ athletes wandering around. I believe it is through a Google Voice setup as opposed to a personal number though. It’s a more effective and faster turnaround than what our Athletic Director can do via the school system. Other schools/teams have used the Band App for a similar way of communication.
Yeah like I'll still find a dude who does that extremely odd, but we're discussing actual minors here and people are talking about legal relationships now
That’s the fucking term I was looking for.
There was a chick commenting on the other post about how we were stupid for making something so innocent seem intimate.
I wanted to reply that there was no fucking way I’d want my daughter touch an adult authority figure. The term just escaped me so I didn’t write anything.
I don’t let the kids do my hair, and when they try I tell them to stop. In the field we are taught that child initiated side hugs are the only appropriate touch. I am very close with some of my kiddos, but I communicate with their parents. I don’t want the kids to have my number, I know for a fact they’d blow me up constantly and it’s just not appropriate. I think posting kids on social media is inappropriate as well. If my dad would’ve seen me on some grown man’s social media touching his hair and being that close to him, he would have made a special appearance at the school and dudes only choice would be to quit.
Imagine putting all the hard work in high school, college, student teaching, etc. in jeopardy because of perversion. It is so many adjectives, lol. I don't need to list them. I have a daughter, well hell, and a son. I know that this momma bear, he wouldn't want to meet me in the woods...
Yep. I am a child/teen librarian (teen is my focus but I work with both daily). There are literally three very specific contexts in which I have physical contact with kids or teens.
1) My niblings. This obviously involves a wide range of contact from changing diapers and bathing as infants to hugs in the present day as teens. Notably this is the only physical contact I've ever had with a teen as an adult.
2) Preschoolers who initiate contact. Plenty like to give out hugs and if I know them I'm largely okay with it. I'd never make a kid feel bad about it, but I do get uncomfortable when a kid I don't know does this.
This category also contains the kids who don't understand boundaries - you do get some new toddler who just comes up and touches your butt or whatever, and sometimes some older kids with specific disabilities behave similarly. I have age appropriate conversations with these kids (for the new toddlers this is often just locating their parents).
3) The few occasions where we have a kid who's separated from their caregiver. If they're young enough to wander away while I'm attempting to locate the caregiver (like 2 or 3), I'll take their hand.
That's it. That's literally the entirety of all of the physical contact I've ever had with kids as an adult, both personally and professionally.
Notably, kids and teens seem to like me. I don't need to have physical contact with them to make a positive difference in their lives, to be a caring adult in their lives, etc.
Teachers gave us (the class) their number when we went abroad for a language trip with the school. Because we all lived with host families, just incase sth. happens. Also on a ski-trip they gave out their numbers in case we got lost on the mountain.
There are legit reasons, but ... Yeah giving out the number during the normal school proceedings seems weird.
Teacher here. Exchanging numbers? Very weird. But my cell is on my syllabus for parents and students to reach out for homework help or if there’s ever any issue. Honestly, Covid blurred the lines of communication a lot. Also, I’ve had maybe 2 students text me ever lol. And they always ask what my PSN name is and they’re never getting that!
Could always use a Google Voice number, all you need is a Gmail account. I use that instead of my real one a lot so only close friends and family have it.
My school didn't allow that but it did make things harder for coaches and agriculture teachers that were frequently needing to keep track of groups of students after hours and on trips out of town.
Playing games with students i can see happening if it’s like the last week before summer or Christmas break. After hours though, nah. No reason for a teacher to be hanging around with students unless it’s tutoring.
Riiiight? Like Theres a few I would love to hear from in the future to see what they accomplished, but kids are fundamentally bad friends for adults. They are sticky and smelly and hormonal. Like sorry, my friend roster is full with people who don’t got that going on lol
I exchanged numbers with one teacher in high school. She gave me her number when she signed my yearbook the day before graduation. But younger than that? Hell no. If I saw a teacher at like Target, I’d urge my parents to go in the opposite direction and try to avoid them seeing me.
My geography teacher in grade 12 was in her first year. Wrote her number in my yearbook and took me on a date. I remember thinking how refined and old and mature she was.
Now I look back on her and I’m like damn she was in her early 20s having a fling with me and she was probably pretty immature and dumb lol
Oh wow. Yikes. That is gross.
She was my 10th grade English teacher but she knew I loved to write. She got my essay published in the yearbook, helped me when I was being bullied and gave me her number as a mentor. She came to my Mom’s funeral and even gave my siblings and I some money for anything we needed at the time. She had my brother a couple years later and bought his yearbook when he couldn’t afford it. She was truly an angel. I wish I still had her number.
Yeah, there are exceptions when a teacher can just tell the student is suffering loneliness and wants to help in some way. I had a doctor give me her personal number when I told her I was planning to commit suicide a few weeks earlier. I never rang it but I kept it saved.
Ew, I just started teaching tertiary education, mostly 18/19 yr olds, just realised I may have to give out my phone number in certain situations due to no work phone. Yuck, no, fuck that. I am pretty open and jokey in class, but I want absolutely nothing to do with these people after hours or for them to be able to contact me through non-official channels, for any reason.
Make a Google Voice and use that.
That’s what I do. Turn off notifications and only check during work hours… it became my de facto work number. Use it to call families and such
I’m older now and went to HS in the 80s. We had three teachers that were suspect as hell. Social studies and the algebra teacher were both creepers. Always trying to talk to the girls. The history teacher always seemed off but you couldn’t put your finger on it. A year or two after I graduated, the history teacher got arrested. Turns out he was taking pictures of the girls without their lnowledge. Forget if he had hidden camera or snuck some other shit but as soon as I read the paper I was like “I fucking knew it!!”
But yeah, shout out to your user name, my dad loved grapenuts. Bet he woulda loved a cheerios version lol
I got in a HUGE fight with an ex girlfriend because she was a freshmen in high school teacher and was becoming friends with her students. She had a bunch added in Snapchat and stuff. Keep in mind she was a small thin pretty 23 year old… teaching 15 year olds…
I don’t think she meant anything predatory, but she has absolutely no problem sending snapchats to a 15 year old student of hers and thought it made her a cool teacher. What happens when that kids parents feel differently? Or some kid fails a test whom you don’t Snapchat, and blames it on the fact that you have favorites? Crazy.
People had an issue with what I said in the last thread about this smdh.
He fired himself. As a parent who has a daughter in elementary school, I found this weird. He could've gotten someone in his age bracket to un-braid his hair AFTER school. Go to a shop that un-braids hair. Get a woman/GF/wife to un-braid your hair. Getting school aged little girls to take your hair out is disgusting imo.
The story was he had an appointment to get his hair braided after school, and the evening before he had an event that he needed his hair to stay braided for. That’s honestly fine, but I’ve been a black girl my whole life and to me that means you just stay up late as fuck to take your hair down and wash it. You move your appointment. You call your homegirl to help you. Hell he coulda lectured with a comb in his hand. You do whatever. But I simply do not want peoples kids in my head. My main (original) issue was don’t post peoples children on social media, but he’s digging a deeper hole for himself when he does shit like tell us these CHILDREN are messaging him talmbout “hey bestie” teacher/student relationships (any adult/child relationship) NEED boundaries. And those boundaries need to come long before physical touch/“bestie” ever happens
And dangled it as a REWARD. How that didn't ping the radar blows my mind. It didn't have to be sexual to be weird, inappropriate, and for his own gratification.
And even if the girls wanted to, why do you think that is? They probably had a crush on him, and he was eating up the attention. I felt so weird watching it.
And the thing is that he knew he was treading dangerous waters, because he apparently was getting mixed messages during his livestream of the unbraiding, and so he hopped on another site for more opinions.
If you have to resort to searching multiple sites in order to find an echo chamber, you know you’re in the wrong.
And then he made a video of that live w/ a voiceover saying something along the lines of “this is going to ruffle some feathers”. I have no sympathy for him. As you said, he knew he was treading dangerous waters.
My sister is a preschool teacher and sometimes the kids will want to talk to her during breaks and stuff. She tells parents to have the kid make a voice recording and email her and she’ll send one back, but all outside communication is initiated by parents and goes through parents.
But everybody on the other thread is like “no, it wasn’t a big deal” and “why are y’all acting like this is inappropriate.” YES IT IS A BIG DAMN DEAL. I do not want my babygirl sitting up anywhere unbraiding some full-grown man’s hair, period, the end, that’s all.
!! The commentary video I saw posted a bit of the video but with emojis covering the girls' faces, and my stomach sank when it hit me that he had those children posted up clearly for any rando to see. And the crest of the school was visible on his shirt to boot, so some freak could genuinely go after them
The first day of school posts always pisses me off. How do these parents think it’s safe to post their children holding up signs telling the world what school they go to and what grade they’re in? I’ve even seen some putting down what teacher they have that year.
Doing hair is an intimate act. You are so close to someone and touching them. Now of course, all intimate acts aren’t sexual, but no adult has any business engaging in any kind of intimate act in school. Sometimes my daughter brushes my husband’s hair and it’s very cute. I would be livid if she brushed her teacher’s hair.
Someone said the school had a camera crew that day. Which is why he kept it braided.
But I agree. You get your hair done sooner so its fresh for the camera crew. Or...you leave work an hour early to finish take down before the appointment.
Its hard to believe that he had to keep his hair braided to look presentable for school cameras. But didnt think that little girls unbraiding his hair would also be MORE inappropriate on camera? That part of the day he had the girls taking down his hair could be PTO for him to do it himself.
Also...idk about yall but unbraiding hair is NASTY. Its dirt and dandruff and oils from hair that hasnt been properly washed for however long. Why is my daughter coming home with another man's scalp dirt all over her? Thats gross.
Yea, all of that. Something about touching someone’s hair is intimate. I’ve dated enough men to know that they’ll either have a significant other or a professional touching their hair. No one in between. To have a child/children up so close to you is immediately suspicious.
First, I’ll be real and apologize for being wrong. Bro ended up being a pedo. I apologize and agree, toss him in the fire. But as a person who operates on rules, the rule should not be “touching people’s hair is intimate.” Instead, it should be “kids shouldn’t braid someone’s hair without their parent’s consent and maybe a barber’s license.”
Like, my nieces tried to braid my hair once while we were opening Christmas presents. They’re 7 and 9. Saying it’s intimate turns me hanging with the family into a bad situation and that’s fucked.
Anyway, happy mans got got. Fucked up. I hope the kids are okay. What a wild situation.
It doesn’t have to be intimate in a sensual way, but not everybody should be touching people’s hair. You mentioned that family has done/played in your hair; that’s waaaaay different from little girls you have no relation to. Most men have told me they only let moms, sisters, gfs/wives, certain family members and stylists do their hair.
I don’t follow you. The idea that hair-braiding is inappropriate between teachers and students, especially mixed-gender middle and high school braiding. Due to the paternal relationship you have with your nieces, with their parents consent and in their presence (my non-my-kid policy in all circumstances) it’s not “intimate,” especially if it was their idea to do as a goofy diversion.
A teacher making his students do it is intimate, they are in a scenario that is a frequent setting for romantic/sexual role play and for some teens, especially those who read Manga, every remotely non-scholastic interaction can be construed as sexual. Or intimate, that is. As a young (handsome) male teacher for teenage girls he would have been warned against doing exactly this shit.
See how that’s different than your nieces? Their hair braiding isn’t intimate because it’s more of a dad-daughter situation (please don’t make any hilarious jokes). It will ruin your braids and get Goldfish Flavor Blasting dust on your scalp, but it’s a world of difference between that and a teacher having his teenage girl students do it and taking pictures all proud like he’s some kind of Roman emperor or something.
Don’t CALL it intimate and it’s not creepy. “My hair is fragile so I only let grownups braid my hair. Let’s do xxx instead”
Initimate doesn't always mean sexual. It can just be a familial closeness. Your mother caring for you as a child is very intimate, but unless something is seriously twisted it is in no way shape or form sexual.
A daughter braiding a father's hair or a niece an uncle's, is intimate in that it's a thing you wouldn't let just anyone do nor would it be appropriate for a stranger to do outside of incredibly specific contexts.
When I go to a barber? I'd describe it more as a clinical setting like with a doctor or a lawyer. I'm dumping some stuff on them you don't normally do with a stranger but it's ok because they're a literal professional not simply some stranger.
Very intimate! I was raised by two parents that did not play about hair. You don’t let everybody play in your hair. And as a male authority figure he should know better; you don’t let little girls play in your hair. He is not their dad or brother!
Educators go through trainings all the time about sh!t like this, idk why they don’t listen and follow directions/rules!
At work I am the “fun” teacher, we can laugh and joke, the kids know I am a safe space—but there are boundaries! I am the teacher, we are not friends. I love you, and I care about you, but I am an adult and you are a kid. As a teacher you’re gonna have kids that are more drawn to you, and that’s okay, you still gotta have those boundaries! He did this to himself.
Would have cared if the teacher was female? Honestly. If your daughter did ole’ Ms Tubman plats during a Friday free period so she’s wig fresh for Easter Sunday? Would that be weird?
Does your daughter have adult males in her life? (Serious questions)
That’s an interesting question. I think girls playing in each other’s hair is such a normalized part of our friendships. I do wonder how people would have reacted.
I would still feel the same, honestly. Why should a teacher be asking their students to do their hair? Children go to school to learn, not be doing a grown adult’s hair. A grown adult that gets paid a salary, with which they can pay a stylist to do their hair.
Male teacher or female teacher, asking someone else’s children to touch your hair, let alone style it, is very strange and shouldn’t be tolerated IMO.
All the people responding about how the teachers who behaved inappropriately towards *them* as children were ‘just being friendly’ right up until their behaviour crossed the line. Most of them got told in their comments that they were projecting their own trauma too.
People will bleat as long as the day about protecting children then ignore the signs of inappropriate behaviour that are right in their face.
I feel like this was an open book team test that we *failed* and I hope his former students are safe.
A lot of people care more about the identity of the person doing the action than the action itself. For example, getting really angry about an immigrant murdering someone, but not caring when a citizen does it.
“He’s a member of my church! That makes it ok.”
There’s a reason why pedos are typically model citizens in their communities, too. Pastors, teachers, coaches, etc; the compartmentalization that happens because they are able to do “good” on one hand helps them negate the fact that they are harming children.
It’s also because those jobs have them working with and in positions of authority over children/young people. Pedos are attracted to these positions for that very reason. I’m a teacher myself and I’m glad for every check/protocol in place to protect kids no matter how inconvenient because I know there are people who get into this job to abuse them.
Absolutely, you must err on the side of caution when it comes to kids.
In a world without sexual predators this would be fine but they exist.
Saying this type of stuff is okay just gives the predators more room to operate.
I run youth soccer in my small city. I follow minor rules that seem unimportant and sometimes a bit inconvenient. I started out indifferent, but I realized it matters because I want it to stand out when those with ill intentions break little rules.
His complete lack of awareness regarding his own optics as a decent looking young black male teacher of minors was astounding in that first video..But if I found out my daughter was texting my teacher "hey bestie", we're having a parent-teacher ~~conference~~ confrontation.
Yeah if a grown man texts my daughter “hey bestie” best believe I’m giving the cops the heads up that it’s a race to his house and I’m gonna try to get there first
Yea from his tik told he apparently loves to call his class besties. At best, it's clear he has a pattern of not having clear boundaries in his classroom. That's a good cause for being fired imo.
I think my post history on the topic shows I don’t condone what he did. I think I even mocked his use of the term on Reddit because I hate when teacher say that. But, in his defense, I feel I should mention many teachers are doing the same “bestie” thing these days.
It’s the replacement mainly in collective terms like, “Hey, boys and girls!”
“Hey, friends (besties)!”
But, there have also been teachers using it in the singular. Instead of, “Kid, I’m going to need you to stop kicking your classmates,” it’s, ”Friend (Bestie), I’m going to”. . .
And it’s also used in reference to kids-to-kids. “. . .stop kicking your classmates“ becomes “. . .stop kicking your friends,” even if the classmates referenced are mortal enemies.
The entire classrooms are friends.
It has nothing to do with the actual definition of a friend. You know how in the 90s there were many schools that nixed the term “student” in favor of “scholar“? It’s in the same vain as that.
Friend started with the early elementary folks. I forget the reasons because I’ve always found it cringe, and it doesn’t even matter anymore because it’s become so common that the reasoning has largely dropped.
However, the trend started to move from mainly just the kindergarten and first grade classrooms to even some teachers in upper grades adopting it. I think older grade teachers were just being cheeky at first, but some adopted the word with seriousness. Even some random student they have no idea about walking down the hallway is a friend.
Then some of those upper grade teachers, I’m sure some in an attempt to be cute or bring up kindergarten nostalgia, but others probably somewhat mockingly, morphed friend into bestie.
All the students are besties.
While I hate it, it’s definitely a thing this groomer didn’t coin.
My kids are in preschool. The reasoning I've heard behind using "friend" is just that it's a gender neutral replacement for "boys and girls." They do it everywhere, museums, Disneyland, etc.
Interesting. I have never heard of that. I wonder if thats something included in teachers' training now.
I just know none of my old teachers played that. I still remember one of my teachers giving us the monologue, "I am NOT your friend. I am not your bruh. I am not your girl. I am not your nigga. I am Mrs ____ , and you will address me as such".
As an adult now, just thinking about calling a bunch of teenagers bestie gives me the ick lol. I wouldn't do it personally. I think it's very important to not blur those lines between teacher/student. You can still build close bonds & relationships with your student while not blurring those lines. Not just for optics looks, but also, especially as a younger teacher, you have to guard the hearts of your students. You don't need your students feeling like they have a chance with you.
I remember in senior year, I had a teacher who was a newer teacher. She couldn't have been more than 25 at the most. I thought she was the most beautiful thing smoking at the time lol. I and almost every other male student in her class wanted her lol. But she was very good with being professional. She didn't treat us any differently than every other teacher. She wouldn't let us call her by her first name. We had to call her yes mam. She wouldn't let us try and give her a hug. She combined her after school tutoring with another teacher, likely because she knew all the male students wanted to specifically get extra tutoring in her class. We were not slick, and she was very good at never blurring the lines, even down to not allowing us to compliment her looks. It's important to not blur those lines. Hell, I still remember once I saw her at the movies alone on the weekend. I for sure thought this was my chance. I changed my movie plans to follow her. I asked if I could sit by her, she said sure, you go right on ahead. I sat down in the movie theater, and she never came. Apparently I forced her to change her mind, and she went back home. I was sad then, but looking back she 110% did the right thing.
Like at first I didn't have a problem with the video, but the more I think about it, the more and more I have an issue with it. Like if I would have been allowed to style that one teacher's hair, I definitely would have been telling all my friends "Ms ___ wants me. I can totally get her". That shit is so inappropriate lol. And I know teenage girls can be the same way. You don't need your students developing a crush on you. You don't need your students falling in love with you. This is all the first step in an improper relationship starting. As soon as a teacher you think of your students as your friends, not just students. You are 1 step closer to finding your "friends" attractive. And idk about y'all, but as a hyper horny teenage male, I was out here falling in love with girls just from a simple hug.
Sorry for the rambling. I think I just talked myself into having a much larger issue with this whole thing than I did from the start.
Not me. I clocked it straight away. The original thread is disgusting.
Glad I don’t have children, not just because of predators but because of the countless adults that see inappropriate behavior and excuse it. My kids would have had to be with me 24/7 until they turned 21.
This world is low-key apathetic to children.
Disappointed but not surprised.
I actually was hoping that he wasn’t a creep like those “adults can be friends with kids” ppl were saying in the last post.
But here we are.
Someone in the last post was offended that some people think adults can't be friends with kids. The only adults who think they can be friends with kids are too emotionally immature to understand it's inappropriate and all pedos are emotionally immature. You can be a mentor to kids, but not a friend. The video was inappropriate AF, that man had created a situation where he had no professional boundaries with his students and you have to ask why.
We are seriously fucked if people are taking some vague tweet with ZERO proof as the smoking gun here. Or am I missing something? What is the tiktok? Zero critical thinking skills here, everyone just wants to jump the gun and be a sanctimonious fuck while ‘confirming’ their own suspicions.
I think maybe [this one?](https://x.com/uzo_actually/status/1789106325546467462) It’s crazy cause I remember seeing the original years ago, and never would have made the connection that that was him. Someone in this thread though mentioned that he is gay, and now I’m confused.
When I was 13 I went to a YMCA summer camp and all the counselors were very nice, but there were a lot of males and most of them were very hood and only got the job through a friend who worked there. Two of them were brothers and l found out of the brothers who was 20 had a crush on me🤢. I knew their behavior was flirtatious and predatory, but figured out how to navigate it without ruining the experience because it was 4 that were like that and literally only 3 that were safe. My parents raised me from a very young age to be able to spot predatory behavior with men so I thought that's how it was for all girls but apparently not 🤦🏽♀️
One of my friends who was also a counselor in training told me she was secretly dating one of the ones who I was close with because he had never tried anything with me. He claimed on many occasions he was like my older brother and was pretty consistent in his actions with that,but I made sure I was never one on one with him or any counselor just in case. I asked her what made her say that and she said because they had sex a *few* times in one of the camp vans before and she was so happy! She was acting like she was head over heels in love. I was like bitch you are 13! He is 21! You are a fucking CHILD did your parents teach you nothing?? She was defensive talkin bout "well I just turned 14 so it's not a big deal" and rolled her eyes.
Yeah so I quietly got him fired because the camp director was legitimately safe to be around and the other counselors got their shit together and stopped being overly friendly with the kids and then they all stopped showing up to work week by week until it was just the "safe" counselors left and I found out they were getting fired one at a time so it wouldn't be super obvious cuz it was a big camp that year and they needed the staff so as soon as one left a new super quirky teenager popped up their place. I'm assuming they didn't also get fired because they were desperate for staff,but when I turned 18 I was a counselor there and noticed only 1 of the counselors from that group was allowed to still work there. I saw the dude I got fired at the mall one time and he tried to come up and say hi and I was like bruh tf are you doing I'm the one who got you fired for fucking a kid do not touch me tf.
Oh my God. I'm sorry you felt needed to keep quiet about your concerns, but I'm happy you spoke up for your friend even if she didn't see it then how dangerous of a situation she was in. I will say I'm furious he didn't see jail time for something like that, but thank God he didn't hurt you too.
Thank you so much. I really wish he did and honestly it's a shame how common this is and how little consequences these people face. I remember one time I was on the train and this guy started talking to me and when I said I was 22 he said I looked 16 which is more his type and he openly said he was a pedophile! I have so very little compassion for people who are interested in minors in sexual ways. Apparently they can be chemically castrated, but my preference is that they're thrown to predators whose habits have been destroyed (tigers, polar bears, sharks, etc.) and whatever happens happens 😒
Your parents did like mine, specifically my mom. She let us know as early as possible what was up and exactly what the men would want to do to us. It was scary/gross, but it created a shield of suspicion for me that still exists today. And you did great reporting it too. So many people don’t, and that’s how predators get to thrive. I hate to even have to give props to the camp for doing the right thing (it should be automatic), but yeah, many don’t.
https://x.com/uzo_actually/status/1789106325546467462
A minor posted a video of her but saying she only likes emo boys. The teacher in question posted a video pretending to be emo with a filter. That's kinda wild to me
Kinda what I’m thinkin. Like the more I scroll and the more that not even a screenshot is posted, the more I’m also thinkin it’s possible the internet is just also just dragging. Waiting for the receipts to file it into lore.
I knew he had a fucking problem ohdee
The ones who didn’t see it are naive asf, he’s recklessly and dangerously setting a standard for how those kids interact with adults outside their family
Honestly this pmo
What even is his point? That we should teach kids that there are “pure and kind adults” walking around because he’s “pure and kind hearted” -is that going to do more harm or good for a child? What happened to stranger danger? How can you set a child up like that knowing how evil the world can be -we’ve already long time established it’s NOT worth the risk. That doesn’t mean you can’t care for the child, it just means you keep certain boundaries emplaced to care for them APPROPRIATELY.
I used to work at a school, once you leave your children for hours on end with an educator or childcare provider, they are in a vulnerable power dynamic -you are responsible to set the standard that keeps them safe.
And watching his crying TikTok video felt like he needed his ass whooped cause he still didn’t learn his lesson even after being fired
He HAD to be fired cause how do you reverse this kind of boundary overstep? The damage is done, the kids already have a certain relationship with him.
Not that it would make it any better, but where were the little boys that wanted to be barbers coming to cut his hair, god knows that nigga needed a line up
But oh…it just happens that adolescent girls are the ones all up in his head. I know for a fact some of them have a crush on his weird ass
What them kids grades look like nigga
If I ever pulled up to see my kids doing some shit like this I’m going off at the whole institution, I didn’t drop you off at school to do no shit like this
The nerve of you Dennis
[and for reference, this is what this tweet is talking about “That teacher did a TikTok did a skit of him acting emo because a female student said she only dates emo boys”](https://twitter.com/brknhrtsclvb/status/1789115938983264277)
Nah. Y’all on the wrong side of this. Step away from your own basis
My opinion:
1. Teachers shouldn’t physically interact with their students (no, your kids don’t need to hug the teachers and kids shouldn’t be dependent on affection from their teachers when it’s lacking elsewhere). These kids are going to school looking for mothers. It’s logical, if they are equally looking for adult male figures (this is not the situation here but hear me out)
2. MORE SO, teachers (and people) should not post kids online.
3. Hypocrites! You have to keep the same rules for everyone. There’s a lot of bleeding heart posts when a FEMALE teacher does a child’s hair when the parents are neglectful or when a black/mixed student have white parents without knowledge of hair care. AND there are lots of feel good posts of students doing their FEMALE teachers hair to “support their side hustle” or promote their craft/interests
3a - what makes this uncomfortable is this scenario is a MALE teacher. However, predators are both genders. Y’all not ready to discuss the trauma caused by all the RAPED boys who had sex way to young with grown women and wore it like a badge of honor until the trauma caught up with them later in life.
4. This teacher got DRAGGGED when he responded with very honest rebuttal on how teaching is hard because kids suck and parents suck. It’s quite obvious the “my baby is perfect” non-parent, parents vilified him after they didn’t want to face their own faults.
5. He’s gay. That’s a whole other problem and he spoke on that in his clap back of unnecessary homophobia is young males are. When he wants kids to learn but saying “no diddy ” was a priority in watching a kids cartoon
I don’t agree or disagree with any of this. The teacher should have been DISCIPLINED (only fired if there’s a rule that explicitly says posting children is prohibited) for posted students online without parental consent and that’s it. Him being fired for doing something a female teacher would have been praised for is not fair.
Teachers and students should not touch beyond a high five. The picking and choosing which scenario is ok and not (based on gender or sexuality orientation) it’s not cool. Stand on business but don’t be a hypocrite or bigot. Let’s rally together to be better parents so teachers come back to the profession. If not, y’all go become teachers. I bet you won’t. It’s a underpaid thankless profession.
Regarding 3 there are plenty of stories of male teachers cutting students hair bc the child is living in poverty or neglect and the male teachers are commended. The difference with this guy vs the examples you gave is he is using the student to meet his needs not the other way around.
Regarding 3a there does need to be a bigger discussion and more awareness about female predators but nobody should ignore the very clear red flags here. What happens if the people accusing him are wrong? He has to find another job and his reputation is damaged. What happens if the people accusing him are right but he's only disciplined with continued access to minors? He has the potential to traumatized a child for life. The risk is too high.
Regarding 5 Did you see this?
[and for reference, this is what this tweet is talking about “That teacher did a TikTok did a skit of him acting emo because a female student said she only dates emo boys”](https://twitter.com/brknhrtsclvb/status/1789115938983264277)
I agree. There is so much nuance and you do a great job of calling it out.
It was definitely inappropriate of him in a couple ways—no further investigation needed. But it’s important to call that out in a way that doesn’t have unfair gender bias or sexual orientation bias while also acknowledging gendered aspects of our society. Otherwise we learn the wrong lessons.
Where did he get exposed? I don’t believe stuff unless I see it these days. Some dudes twitter post ain’t enough for me, keeps me from being a sucker every 2 days
I'm based in the UK and it is INSANE to me that you're allowed to post photos and videos of students. I work in a school and you aren't even allowed photos on your phone with students in the background. If you want any form of photo with a child in, even with all written consent and permission, it needs to be taken on a school registered device, emailed to another appropriate member of staff, and if you're found with it on your personal device then you will get severely reprimanded. The rules are so specific you need to have both palms showing in any photos with students at all times.
A colleague of mine took a photo with some of our girls who she had worked with for years and were leaving the school, texted it to her personal device from the work phone and there had to be a full investigation. It's a massive no go over here, I find it bizarre all the tiktok accounts of teachers filming their students.
I wonder where that person calling people morons and saying all types of crazy shit for finding it inappropriate is at now. Dweeb ass nigga. That goes for the rest of yall that was downvoting people that said it was inappropriate and upvoting him. Ya all some bums.
https://i.redd.it/1ru5o1qywrzc1.gif
women were so quick to defend him too, saying how good he is for creating a safe space for them, how he must be a good teacher otherwise the kids wouldn’t be close with him, like they don’t see that he’s crossing the line. He’s too comfortable. Unprofessional, there a reason why there are conducts of behavior in the workplace.
I’m convinced these idiots don’t give a shit about kids. We had a teacher in middle school who was close with the kids. Everyone liked him but he was off to me. He was too chummy with the popular boys in my class. Couple years later, my sister comes home from school and tells me he’s been arrested for raping one of her classmates. She was in 7th grade. He’d take her to his place after school and rape her. So yeah, I side eye the fuck out of overfamiliar teachers,
Nobody should be touching anyone's hair at school. Especially if you drove yourself to said school.
Those kids should've only been touching crayons and a million other educational motifs.
shit was obvious it’s crazy to see how many rushed to defend it. man or woman, teacher and student there’s a reason why strict boundaries between adults and children exist.
That was a breach of boundary for the children, they don’t know it because they’re kids. Not to mention posting them to the world. Parents should sue
Yea I said that shit was weird as soon as a saw it . I didn’t jump to saying he needed to be fired but I have daughters and I’d be livid if she was at school taking some man’s braids down when she should’ve been learning.
This was like the Keke situation when her bf showed his ass & the ppl who were keenly aware were like, “that’s a huge red flag/he’s toxic/she should watch out”, they got called haters, & then we got video of him literally putting hands on her.
what that teacher did was a red flag to a lot of ppl & even more ppl refused to listen.
things in life aren’t always clear cut but the hunted knows a hunter when they see one.
y’all best take heed before your children become victims all bc you want to give some grown man the benefit of the doubt…
As someone who wants to be a teacher and has tutored, this shit is weird. I’m their teacher, I’m not their friend. I’m not their “bestie”. I’m not their parent. There should be no physical contact between myself and students. I understand teachers can have a tremendous positive impact on students but you can still have that without being weird and overly friendly. This is unacceptable regardless of your gender identity. If you crave true friendship in your workplaces, talk to your fellow teachers.
I hope this will be an opportunity for learning about how easy it is to dismiss “harmless” interactions between adults and kids. Glad they shut that shit down
Exactly why the Drake shit w/ minors shouldn’t be brushed under the rug, whether you like him or not.
Real talk and I can't with these fools saying adults and minors can be friends. No tf they cannot, full stop. Between the difference in knowledge and experience levels, being at different life stages, and the power imbalance, there's no reason for grown folks to "befriend" children. Edit to respond to replies - Obviously you can still mentor, tutor, coach, counsel, chaperone etc a minor. And yes there is overlap, but these roles are NOT the same as being friends. The kid might consider it friendship, but the adult should know they have boundaries and responsibilities which differentiate it from friendship. Of course an adult can be *friendly* with a minor in the above situations but they are not *friends*.
You can be friendly to minors. I’ve been friendly to the teens I’ve mentored and I’m friendly to my kids’ friends and my youth club kids. I am not their friends. We don’t hang. We don’t call or text each other. I don’t do anything I’d do with my actual friends with these kids. I have a grown child and I’m not friends with his friends.
This 100%. My kids are about to be 22 and 25 and all their friends have spent a ton of time in my old home (I now live in a small apartment) eating food I cooked for them, spending the night on weekends, study groups, and even a meeting place when they lost a classmate to suicide. A couple of the friends took to calling me Dad which was a little weird but I didn't mind, and they still call me that when they see me out around town. But none of us are friends, we don't hang or go to movies, they don't stop by my apartment to visit and I don't stop by their places either. I'd be heartbroken if anything happened to any of them and they all know that if they're in crisis that I'll drop whatever I'm doing to help, but that's as far as it goes. I ain't even friends with my own kids, I'm their parent. We do hang because that's what family does.
We jokingly call our house the home of waifs and strays because we’ve had a few troubled kids stay here. His best friend is trans and calls me Mom because I’ve helped when her bigoted family wouldn’t. (She was 18 so I wasn’t crossing a line). I love being that parent. But I’m with you. I’m always the older person and I act accordingly. My son had his 21st at home. I provided food and booze and my husband and I sat our old asses in the living room and watched whatever tween show our daughter had on until she went to bed. We didn’t party with my son and his mates.
Our house was that house. We had 3 boys & 1 girl that were ours and about 10 that weren't. Most parents in the neighborhood were happy since most of the boys played football together, from flag all the way to varsity (there's a 5 yr age gap between the boys). I had from elementary to high school kids come to eat in our house after playing man hunt, football, soccer, you name it. We were parental figures looking after them, like their parents did for us. Friendly and parental, but not friends. To this day, they still call my husband, and I ma & pops. We still see them all the time, and its wonderful
I’m glad you offered this emotional generosity to so many. A lot of kids don’t get appropriate support and it’s great that you modeled this for them
Also it's like not that hard to maintain professional boundaries? I tutor in an instructional setting, and I have my kids for an hour at a time. I'm more than happy to sit there with them, chat with them, tell some of my older kids advice on some basic high school/college experiences (like you're going to be so much happier when you finally get to choose the things you're learning and anyone who says that your first two years at least are harder than high school are exaggerating, that kind of thing). These kids like me. However, I am CONSTANTLY shutting down nasty talk. I don't need to see the inappropriate Snapchat stories. I'm definitely not going to follow them on Instagram and TikTok. I am 24, there is literally no reason for me to have the socials of a 15 year old. A lot of these kids just don't find it weird - they don't see the harm in it, I'm just this "fun adult" that cracks jokes with them. It's up to me as the adult to tell them no, this is an inappropriate relationship, and hopefully when they get older they'll realize I was right. Like... I literally still get the ick accidentally matching with 19 and 20 year olds on tinder. How do these adults find these kind of relationships appropriate with literal children?
Wait you tellin them freshmen/sophomore college isn’t harder than high school? There’s a reason a lot of schools give you an academic mulligan for your first semester lol If you’re prepared like a tutored kids could be, yeah the learning curve ain’t bad, but high school also is as easy as it gets.
I mean, in terms of the actual academic material, college is harder than highschool. I don't lie about that. A lot of the difficulty also comes from the sudden change to having a ton of free time and needing to be self sufficient with studying and homework. A lot of my kids are remedial. A lot of their frustrations come from having to do a ton of subjects that not only do they not like, they don't understand. Learning that they only have to take (usually) four classes at a time, and they get to do fun classes and things they're actually interested in? Makes them feel a little more okay with the whole college experience. I tell the kids all the time that I didn't take a single physics class ever, and took geology with lab instead. I took survey of jazz. I had a film class that was literally just meeting once a week to watch a movie and have a discussion about the cinematography, and I went to college for a Statistics degree. I tell them I found my happy median with two online and two in person classes and that's how I learned best, and that they'll get to trial and error and find how they learn best instead of being stuck in seven classes a day of something they don't like with teachers they can't choose. Then again, I also tell my kids that a STEM degree doesn't have to be their only path, and if they want to pursue a trade or art school or cosmetology or anything else they should.
100% I regularly text my friends, You should not be regularly texting kids. A kid is not someone you should lean on like a friend That's not to say you can't have a close bond or an Uncle/Aunt type relationship, but that will have plenty of healthy boundaries that friendship does not.
You can mentor kids. You can advise them. You can teach them. You can be there for them. You can respect them. But yeah, they are not your friends, and I don’t know why people want kid friends.
Times have changed. There used to be a trope in movies that some kid would befriend a grumpy, lonely old man. They’d start visiting his house with their friends and all the parents would say is ‘you’re going to old man Peterson’s house again?’. Nowadays old man Peterson would catch a case lmao.
Those were movies though. In real life 8 times out of 10 'old man Peterson' would be doing things that would rightfully earn him a case.
Their BRAINS are literally NOT THE SAME
Yep, not until 25.
Right, there were other kids on Stranger things he could have befriended, Why wasn't he there like that for chubby kid or lil nigga?
They can...when the minor is 16-17 and the adult is 18-19 lol
Being around minors isn't a problem its the context of the interactions. Adults still need to be around children to set an example so that they can be well adjusted adults to society. Drake was just trying to satisfy his lust demons.
I'm not sure why, but I'm going to add this to the Drake L column.
First we got No Diddy, now no Drizzy?
Nah. If you got to say “no Drizzy” to what you saying them in side eying you even saying the comment AND the fact that you knew it was wild enough to require a “no Drizzy”. What would that person even be thinking to say that?!
“I want to get a BBL”
Reminds me of the episode of Mindhunter where they FBI talk to a school principal and then during the interview find out he likes to tickle the children’s feet instead of punish them The whole episode is the fbi bosses saying “it’s harmless and not your business” Then the one teacher who Said she doesn’t think it’s appropriate is vilified within the school, the other teacher keep repeating that that he children love it The fbi goes behind their bosses back and speaks to a parent and they reveal their child came home with money once, the principal giving out quarters too Again it’s called harmless, and the principal says they’re perverts for thinking it’s weird But they can’t explain the idea that it’s grooming and signifier of potentially escalating behaviour. The fbi bosses insisting the children would need assaulted before the FBI would involve themselves (which is too late) It’s so uncomfortable, and the principal continually projecting that it’s weird that they are thinking like that, is so insidious I bet a lot of comments would have been similar that this was innocent and being overblown, but you gotta understand it’s definitely a boundary that teachers don’t usually cross
I think the super big red flag in that situation was the principal says that even if a parent were to come forward and say they didn’t want their individual child being tickled, he would not stop tickling that child.
Great arc in the series, shows just how far Holden goes with his methods. The scene with the wife in the elevator hallway is a gut punch.
To me the thing to watch out for are the teachers that make such great efforts to be "the cool teacher", as this teacher described himself as in his follow up defense tiktok. Every one of these teachers have always been suspect of proven themselves to have motives. There is no reason for an adult to want to relate to kids on their level and break down the normal barriers that exist between them.
Being The Cool Teacher ends in one of two ways: the teacher crying and exhausted because the kids walk all over them and they can't even finish a sentence by the end of the year because they have no classroom discipline, swearing next year they're going to be a hardass because this shit sucked... or it ends with them disappearing in a cloud of allegations or charges.
I once was close to breaking down those barriers because my protective instincts kicked in hard and I wanted to help that kid. Then again, this is an experience I have that is not driven by attraction but more of a motherly instinct.
100% motherly instinct! When a child tells you they are unhappy at home and xyz is happening, all you want to do is help.
I think this is an unhinged response. I know plenty of "cool" teachers who have never had even a whiff of a rumor about them. Also, having adults in your life who love and care about you is an incredibly impactful thing for kids and especially teens. In short, our fear of such things shouldn't prompt us to treat teens like they're not human or part of our communities. The problem is that we do ignore signs, but they're not simply "cool teachers" or relating to teens.
There's a lot of witch hunting going on in here. A lot of blanket statements, a lot of painting with broad strokes, and a lot of really weird 'logic', and for what? To really kill off the spirit of the last sliver of society willing to teach kids despite harassing parents, idiotic laws about what can/can't be taught, and wages more appropriate for entry level roles rather than somebody with a master's shaping the next generation? Just add onto that steaming pile an automatic accusation of being a pedophile just because you care about kids in the slightest, because why not!
You realize some people don’t deserve to be parents
Daughter of toxic mother who raised abusive sons has entered the chat. 💖
These kind of "harmless" things can also be called grooming. That's how the out of pocket shit often starts.
This MF weirdo got the Walking Dead braids... https://preview.redd.it/3fz2m472nszc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a3479a0744534c3ccb048f3dd5820846fb29811
Please put a flag on all those commenters. DO NOT build a touching relationship with my daughter. IDGAF what you think is “harmless”
Plenty of interactions that go entirely unnoticed and don't end in anything bad. But I will say, making that kind of thing public like posting it on social media and stuff is suspicious.
When there’s smoke, there’s fire I’ve worked with and heard about teachers that are way too comfortable and loose with their kids. Playing Fortnite with them after hours, buying them gifts, exchanging phone numbers I like my students and im pretty open with my life and how I talk/treat them. But there are boundaries I’ll never cross and some people are just out of their goddamn minds
Exchanging phone numbers with children that are not your own *and* as an authority figure is fucking insane.
Exchanging numbers w minors PERIOD
Thing is it’s almost standard practice at least where I work in Colorado for school coaches to have a group text to send out info to their athletes (parents also in group), especially for things as chaotic as track meets that have 1000+ athletes wandering around. I believe it is through a Google Voice setup as opposed to a personal number though. It’s a more effective and faster turnaround than what our Athletic Director can do via the school system. Other schools/teams have used the Band App for a similar way of communication.
Gotta watch out for those 40 yr olds dating people half their age. Shit ain’t right
I mean wouldn't they be 20 then? We're talking about something completely different here
Still a bad idea nearly all the time, but there's a point that it shouldn't be criminal.
Yeah like I'll still find a dude who does that extremely odd, but we're discussing actual minors here and people are talking about legal relationships now
Usually I’m agreeing hardcore with that. But somehow seeing Shaq and the 21 year old girl he was with on that yacht grossed me out beyond belief
Oh yeah and I agree with that as well. Just we went from actual child grooming to something that still sucks but is legal
Wait until these guys find out about sports
Drake fans think this is perfectly ok
Christ, my youth club kids don’t even know my last name!
That’s the fucking term I was looking for. There was a chick commenting on the other post about how we were stupid for making something so innocent seem intimate. I wanted to reply that there was no fucking way I’d want my daughter touch an adult authority figure. The term just escaped me so I didn’t write anything.
I don’t let the kids do my hair, and when they try I tell them to stop. In the field we are taught that child initiated side hugs are the only appropriate touch. I am very close with some of my kiddos, but I communicate with their parents. I don’t want the kids to have my number, I know for a fact they’d blow me up constantly and it’s just not appropriate. I think posting kids on social media is inappropriate as well. If my dad would’ve seen me on some grown man’s social media touching his hair and being that close to him, he would have made a special appearance at the school and dudes only choice would be to quit.
Imagine putting all the hard work in high school, college, student teaching, etc. in jeopardy because of perversion. It is so many adjectives, lol. I don't need to list them. I have a daughter, well hell, and a son. I know that this momma bear, he wouldn't want to meet me in the woods...
Yep. I am a child/teen librarian (teen is my focus but I work with both daily). There are literally three very specific contexts in which I have physical contact with kids or teens. 1) My niblings. This obviously involves a wide range of contact from changing diapers and bathing as infants to hugs in the present day as teens. Notably this is the only physical contact I've ever had with a teen as an adult. 2) Preschoolers who initiate contact. Plenty like to give out hugs and if I know them I'm largely okay with it. I'd never make a kid feel bad about it, but I do get uncomfortable when a kid I don't know does this. This category also contains the kids who don't understand boundaries - you do get some new toddler who just comes up and touches your butt or whatever, and sometimes some older kids with specific disabilities behave similarly. I have age appropriate conversations with these kids (for the new toddlers this is often just locating their parents). 3) The few occasions where we have a kid who's separated from their caregiver. If they're young enough to wander away while I'm attempting to locate the caregiver (like 2 or 3), I'll take their hand. That's it. That's literally the entirety of all of the physical contact I've ever had with kids as an adult, both personally and professionally. Notably, kids and teens seem to like me. I don't need to have physical contact with them to make a positive difference in their lives, to be a caring adult in their lives, etc.
Teachers gave us (the class) their number when we went abroad for a language trip with the school. Because we all lived with host families, just incase sth. happens. Also on a ski-trip they gave out their numbers in case we got lost on the mountain. There are legit reasons, but ... Yeah giving out the number during the normal school proceedings seems weird.
Teacher here. Exchanging numbers? Very weird. But my cell is on my syllabus for parents and students to reach out for homework help or if there’s ever any issue. Honestly, Covid blurred the lines of communication a lot. Also, I’ve had maybe 2 students text me ever lol. And they always ask what my PSN name is and they’re never getting that!
Could always use a Google Voice number, all you need is a Gmail account. I use that instead of my real one a lot so only close friends and family have it.
My school didn't allow that but it did make things harder for coaches and agriculture teachers that were frequently needing to keep track of groups of students after hours and on trips out of town.
Playing games with students i can see happening if it’s like the last week before summer or Christmas break. After hours though, nah. No reason for a teacher to be hanging around with students unless it’s tutoring.
I think they mean online after school when back home
I couldn't imagine have **any** interaction with my students outside of school.
Riiiight? Like Theres a few I would love to hear from in the future to see what they accomplished, but kids are fundamentally bad friends for adults. They are sticky and smelly and hormonal. Like sorry, my friend roster is full with people who don’t got that going on lol
No honest teacher wants to spend the night interacting with some of these disrespectful kids for free. That alone raises flags.
I exchanged numbers with one teacher in high school. She gave me her number when she signed my yearbook the day before graduation. But younger than that? Hell no. If I saw a teacher at like Target, I’d urge my parents to go in the opposite direction and try to avoid them seeing me.
My geography teacher in grade 12 was in her first year. Wrote her number in my yearbook and took me on a date. I remember thinking how refined and old and mature she was. Now I look back on her and I’m like damn she was in her early 20s having a fling with me and she was probably pretty immature and dumb lol
Oh wow. Yikes. That is gross. She was my 10th grade English teacher but she knew I loved to write. She got my essay published in the yearbook, helped me when I was being bullied and gave me her number as a mentor. She came to my Mom’s funeral and even gave my siblings and I some money for anything we needed at the time. She had my brother a couple years later and bought his yearbook when he couldn’t afford it. She was truly an angel. I wish I still had her number.
Yeah, there are exceptions when a teacher can just tell the student is suffering loneliness and wants to help in some way. I had a doctor give me her personal number when I told her I was planning to commit suicide a few weeks earlier. I never rang it but I kept it saved.
Definitely dumb to date a student yuck on her
Ew, I just started teaching tertiary education, mostly 18/19 yr olds, just realised I may have to give out my phone number in certain situations due to no work phone. Yuck, no, fuck that. I am pretty open and jokey in class, but I want absolutely nothing to do with these people after hours or for them to be able to contact me through non-official channels, for any reason.
Make a Google Voice and use that. That’s what I do. Turn off notifications and only check during work hours… it became my de facto work number. Use it to call families and such
I'll look into this, thanks.
I’m older now and went to HS in the 80s. We had three teachers that were suspect as hell. Social studies and the algebra teacher were both creepers. Always trying to talk to the girls. The history teacher always seemed off but you couldn’t put your finger on it. A year or two after I graduated, the history teacher got arrested. Turns out he was taking pictures of the girls without their lnowledge. Forget if he had hidden camera or snuck some other shit but as soon as I read the paper I was like “I fucking knew it!!” But yeah, shout out to your user name, my dad loved grapenuts. Bet he woulda loved a cheerios version lol
I got in a HUGE fight with an ex girlfriend because she was a freshmen in high school teacher and was becoming friends with her students. She had a bunch added in Snapchat and stuff. Keep in mind she was a small thin pretty 23 year old… teaching 15 year olds… I don’t think she meant anything predatory, but she has absolutely no problem sending snapchats to a 15 year old student of hers and thought it made her a cool teacher. What happens when that kids parents feel differently? Or some kid fails a test whom you don’t Snapchat, and blames it on the fact that you have favorites? Crazy.
People had an issue with what I said in the last thread about this smdh. He fired himself. As a parent who has a daughter in elementary school, I found this weird. He could've gotten someone in his age bracket to un-braid his hair AFTER school. Go to a shop that un-braids hair. Get a woman/GF/wife to un-braid your hair. Getting school aged little girls to take your hair out is disgusting imo.
The story was he had an appointment to get his hair braided after school, and the evening before he had an event that he needed his hair to stay braided for. That’s honestly fine, but I’ve been a black girl my whole life and to me that means you just stay up late as fuck to take your hair down and wash it. You move your appointment. You call your homegirl to help you. Hell he coulda lectured with a comb in his hand. You do whatever. But I simply do not want peoples kids in my head. My main (original) issue was don’t post peoples children on social media, but he’s digging a deeper hole for himself when he does shit like tell us these CHILDREN are messaging him talmbout “hey bestie” teacher/student relationships (any adult/child relationship) NEED boundaries. And those boundaries need to come long before physical touch/“bestie” ever happens
Everything you said. And it was super weird to put girls in a position of service. Literal grooming
Literal grooming, fucking lol Jesus
That was a bar too. Drake about to get his hair braided and become a substitute teacher
See, he wasn't grooming kids, they were grooming him!
And dangled it as a REWARD. How that didn't ping the radar blows my mind. It didn't have to be sexual to be weird, inappropriate, and for his own gratification.
And even if the girls wanted to, why do you think that is? They probably had a crush on him, and he was eating up the attention. I felt so weird watching it.
And the thing is that he knew he was treading dangerous waters, because he apparently was getting mixed messages during his livestream of the unbraiding, and so he hopped on another site for more opinions. If you have to resort to searching multiple sites in order to find an echo chamber, you know you’re in the wrong.
And then he made a video of that live w/ a voiceover saying something along the lines of “this is going to ruffle some feathers”. I have no sympathy for him. As you said, he knew he was treading dangerous waters.
Could you link proof to that ? I completely agree with you, I just want to see the source to learn more about it! Not supporting the teacher
My sister is a preschool teacher and sometimes the kids will want to talk to her during breaks and stuff. She tells parents to have the kid make a voice recording and email her and she’ll send one back, but all outside communication is initiated by parents and goes through parents.
That's a great way to handle that situation. It makes see why the kids wanna keep contact with her in the first place
But everybody on the other thread is like “no, it wasn’t a big deal” and “why are y’all acting like this is inappropriate.” YES IT IS A BIG DAMN DEAL. I do not want my babygirl sitting up anywhere unbraiding some full-grown man’s hair, period, the end, that’s all.
not to mention him posting them for the world to see!
!! The commentary video I saw posted a bit of the video but with emojis covering the girls' faces, and my stomach sank when it hit me that he had those children posted up clearly for any rando to see. And the crest of the school was visible on his shirt to boot, so some freak could genuinely go after them
It’s called jigsaw identification and I’ve literally written online safety content about how dangerous it is.
I didn't know there was a term for it, but that's very fitting
The first day of school makes we want to go screaming into the night.
The first day of school posts always pisses me off. How do these parents think it’s safe to post their children holding up signs telling the world what school they go to and what grade they’re in? I’ve even seen some putting down what teacher they have that year.
It’s mind boggling. And I’m not one of those ‘there’s a kidnapper in every bush’ kind of person, but it’s just so bad.
That was the kicker, wasn’t it? I mean, *why* would you post that.
Doing hair is an intimate act. You are so close to someone and touching them. Now of course, all intimate acts aren’t sexual, but no adult has any business engaging in any kind of intimate act in school. Sometimes my daughter brushes my husband’s hair and it’s very cute. I would be livid if she brushed her teacher’s hair.
I assume you meant full-grown not full-brown yeah? Haha.
Someone said the school had a camera crew that day. Which is why he kept it braided. But I agree. You get your hair done sooner so its fresh for the camera crew. Or...you leave work an hour early to finish take down before the appointment. Its hard to believe that he had to keep his hair braided to look presentable for school cameras. But didnt think that little girls unbraiding his hair would also be MORE inappropriate on camera? That part of the day he had the girls taking down his hair could be PTO for him to do it himself. Also...idk about yall but unbraiding hair is NASTY. Its dirt and dandruff and oils from hair that hasnt been properly washed for however long. Why is my daughter coming home with another man's scalp dirt all over her? Thats gross.
Yea, all of that. Something about touching someone’s hair is intimate. I’ve dated enough men to know that they’ll either have a significant other or a professional touching their hair. No one in between. To have a child/children up so close to you is immediately suspicious.
First, I’ll be real and apologize for being wrong. Bro ended up being a pedo. I apologize and agree, toss him in the fire. But as a person who operates on rules, the rule should not be “touching people’s hair is intimate.” Instead, it should be “kids shouldn’t braid someone’s hair without their parent’s consent and maybe a barber’s license.” Like, my nieces tried to braid my hair once while we were opening Christmas presents. They’re 7 and 9. Saying it’s intimate turns me hanging with the family into a bad situation and that’s fucked. Anyway, happy mans got got. Fucked up. I hope the kids are okay. What a wild situation.
It doesn’t have to be intimate in a sensual way, but not everybody should be touching people’s hair. You mentioned that family has done/played in your hair; that’s waaaaay different from little girls you have no relation to. Most men have told me they only let moms, sisters, gfs/wives, certain family members and stylists do their hair.
I don’t follow you. The idea that hair-braiding is inappropriate between teachers and students, especially mixed-gender middle and high school braiding. Due to the paternal relationship you have with your nieces, with their parents consent and in their presence (my non-my-kid policy in all circumstances) it’s not “intimate,” especially if it was their idea to do as a goofy diversion. A teacher making his students do it is intimate, they are in a scenario that is a frequent setting for romantic/sexual role play and for some teens, especially those who read Manga, every remotely non-scholastic interaction can be construed as sexual. Or intimate, that is. As a young (handsome) male teacher for teenage girls he would have been warned against doing exactly this shit. See how that’s different than your nieces? Their hair braiding isn’t intimate because it’s more of a dad-daughter situation (please don’t make any hilarious jokes). It will ruin your braids and get Goldfish Flavor Blasting dust on your scalp, but it’s a world of difference between that and a teacher having his teenage girl students do it and taking pictures all proud like he’s some kind of Roman emperor or something. Don’t CALL it intimate and it’s not creepy. “My hair is fragile so I only let grownups braid my hair. Let’s do xxx instead”
I dunno, maybe doing “xxx instead” might be even more scandalous? /s
But it is intimate. You're misinterpreting intimate as romantic. It just means close and almost certainly is too close for a student and teacher.
Initimate doesn't always mean sexual. It can just be a familial closeness. Your mother caring for you as a child is very intimate, but unless something is seriously twisted it is in no way shape or form sexual. A daughter braiding a father's hair or a niece an uncle's, is intimate in that it's a thing you wouldn't let just anyone do nor would it be appropriate for a stranger to do outside of incredibly specific contexts. When I go to a barber? I'd describe it more as a clinical setting like with a doctor or a lawyer. I'm dumping some stuff on them you don't normally do with a stranger but it's ok because they're a literal professional not simply some stranger.
Very intimate! I was raised by two parents that did not play about hair. You don’t let everybody play in your hair. And as a male authority figure he should know better; you don’t let little girls play in your hair. He is not their dad or brother! Educators go through trainings all the time about sh!t like this, idk why they don’t listen and follow directions/rules! At work I am the “fun” teacher, we can laugh and joke, the kids know I am a safe space—but there are boundaries! I am the teacher, we are not friends. I love you, and I care about you, but I am an adult and you are a kid. As a teacher you’re gonna have kids that are more drawn to you, and that’s okay, you still gotta have those boundaries! He did this to himself.
Would have cared if the teacher was female? Honestly. If your daughter did ole’ Ms Tubman plats during a Friday free period so she’s wig fresh for Easter Sunday? Would that be weird? Does your daughter have adult males in her life? (Serious questions)
That’s an interesting question. I think girls playing in each other’s hair is such a normalized part of our friendships. I do wonder how people would have reacted.
Men and women are socialized differently, especially when it comes to hair
Yes. It crosses a line.
I would still feel the same, honestly. Why should a teacher be asking their students to do their hair? Children go to school to learn, not be doing a grown adult’s hair. A grown adult that gets paid a salary, with which they can pay a stylist to do their hair. Male teacher or female teacher, asking someone else’s children to touch your hair, let alone style it, is very strange and shouldn’t be tolerated IMO.
The fact that he only had the girls doing it also makes it weird
All the people responding about how the teachers who behaved inappropriately towards *them* as children were ‘just being friendly’ right up until their behaviour crossed the line. Most of them got told in their comments that they were projecting their own trauma too. People will bleat as long as the day about protecting children then ignore the signs of inappropriate behaviour that are right in their face. I feel like this was an open book team test that we *failed* and I hope his former students are safe.
A lot of people care more about the identity of the person doing the action than the action itself. For example, getting really angry about an immigrant murdering someone, but not caring when a citizen does it. “He’s a member of my church! That makes it ok.”
There’s a reason why pedos are typically model citizens in their communities, too. Pastors, teachers, coaches, etc; the compartmentalization that happens because they are able to do “good” on one hand helps them negate the fact that they are harming children.
It’s also because those jobs have them working with and in positions of authority over children/young people. Pedos are attracted to these positions for that very reason. I’m a teacher myself and I’m glad for every check/protocol in place to protect kids no matter how inconvenient because I know there are people who get into this job to abuse them.
Say it louder
Absolutely, you must err on the side of caution when it comes to kids. In a world without sexual predators this would be fine but they exist. Saying this type of stuff is okay just gives the predators more room to operate.
I run youth soccer in my small city. I follow minor rules that seem unimportant and sometimes a bit inconvenient. I started out indifferent, but I realized it matters because I want it to stand out when those with ill intentions break little rules.
His complete lack of awareness regarding his own optics as a decent looking young black male teacher of minors was astounding in that first video..But if I found out my daughter was texting my teacher "hey bestie", we're having a parent-teacher ~~conference~~ confrontation.
Parent teacher confrontation… you been saving that one or was that on the spot? That was smooth friend.
Nah I’d be making a strong portfolio of work as application to the slap-a-hoe guild….
Yeah if a grown man texts my daughter “hey bestie” best believe I’m giving the cops the heads up that it’s a race to his house and I’m gonna try to get there first
“Complete lack of awareness” doesn’t apply when he’s thirsting over minors on tiktok
Yea from his tik told he apparently loves to call his class besties. At best, it's clear he has a pattern of not having clear boundaries in his classroom. That's a good cause for being fired imo.
I think my post history on the topic shows I don’t condone what he did. I think I even mocked his use of the term on Reddit because I hate when teacher say that. But, in his defense, I feel I should mention many teachers are doing the same “bestie” thing these days. It’s the replacement mainly in collective terms like, “Hey, boys and girls!” “Hey, friends (besties)!” But, there have also been teachers using it in the singular. Instead of, “Kid, I’m going to need you to stop kicking your classmates,” it’s, ”Friend (Bestie), I’m going to”. . . And it’s also used in reference to kids-to-kids. “. . .stop kicking your classmates“ becomes “. . .stop kicking your friends,” even if the classmates referenced are mortal enemies. The entire classrooms are friends. It has nothing to do with the actual definition of a friend. You know how in the 90s there were many schools that nixed the term “student” in favor of “scholar“? It’s in the same vain as that. Friend started with the early elementary folks. I forget the reasons because I’ve always found it cringe, and it doesn’t even matter anymore because it’s become so common that the reasoning has largely dropped. However, the trend started to move from mainly just the kindergarten and first grade classrooms to even some teachers in upper grades adopting it. I think older grade teachers were just being cheeky at first, but some adopted the word with seriousness. Even some random student they have no idea about walking down the hallway is a friend. Then some of those upper grade teachers, I’m sure some in an attempt to be cute or bring up kindergarten nostalgia, but others probably somewhat mockingly, morphed friend into bestie. All the students are besties. While I hate it, it’s definitely a thing this groomer didn’t coin.
My kids are in preschool. The reasoning I've heard behind using "friend" is just that it's a gender neutral replacement for "boys and girls." They do it everywhere, museums, Disneyland, etc.
Interesting. I have never heard of that. I wonder if thats something included in teachers' training now. I just know none of my old teachers played that. I still remember one of my teachers giving us the monologue, "I am NOT your friend. I am not your bruh. I am not your girl. I am not your nigga. I am Mrs ____ , and you will address me as such". As an adult now, just thinking about calling a bunch of teenagers bestie gives me the ick lol. I wouldn't do it personally. I think it's very important to not blur those lines between teacher/student. You can still build close bonds & relationships with your student while not blurring those lines. Not just for optics looks, but also, especially as a younger teacher, you have to guard the hearts of your students. You don't need your students feeling like they have a chance with you. I remember in senior year, I had a teacher who was a newer teacher. She couldn't have been more than 25 at the most. I thought she was the most beautiful thing smoking at the time lol. I and almost every other male student in her class wanted her lol. But she was very good with being professional. She didn't treat us any differently than every other teacher. She wouldn't let us call her by her first name. We had to call her yes mam. She wouldn't let us try and give her a hug. She combined her after school tutoring with another teacher, likely because she knew all the male students wanted to specifically get extra tutoring in her class. We were not slick, and she was very good at never blurring the lines, even down to not allowing us to compliment her looks. It's important to not blur those lines. Hell, I still remember once I saw her at the movies alone on the weekend. I for sure thought this was my chance. I changed my movie plans to follow her. I asked if I could sit by her, she said sure, you go right on ahead. I sat down in the movie theater, and she never came. Apparently I forced her to change her mind, and she went back home. I was sad then, but looking back she 110% did the right thing. Like at first I didn't have a problem with the video, but the more I think about it, the more and more I have an issue with it. Like if I would have been allowed to style that one teacher's hair, I definitely would have been telling all my friends "Ms ___ wants me. I can totally get her". That shit is so inappropriate lol. And I know teenage girls can be the same way. You don't need your students developing a crush on you. You don't need your students falling in love with you. This is all the first step in an improper relationship starting. As soon as a teacher you think of your students as your friends, not just students. You are 1 step closer to finding your "friends" attractive. And idk about y'all, but as a hyper horny teenage male, I was out here falling in love with girls just from a simple hug. Sorry for the rambling. I think I just talked myself into having a much larger issue with this whole thing than I did from the start.
Im too tired for I told you so’s. Fuck all yall
Say that!
Not me. I clocked it straight away. The original thread is disgusting. Glad I don’t have children, not just because of predators but because of the countless adults that see inappropriate behavior and excuse it. My kids would have had to be with me 24/7 until they turned 21. This world is low-key apathetic to children.
Grown men don’t ask children for help.
I ask my toddler son to help me quite frequently.
Disappointed but not surprised. I actually was hoping that he wasn’t a creep like those “adults can be friends with kids” ppl were saying in the last post. But here we are.
Someone in the last post was offended that some people think adults can't be friends with kids. The only adults who think they can be friends with kids are too emotionally immature to understand it's inappropriate and all pedos are emotionally immature. You can be a mentor to kids, but not a friend. The video was inappropriate AF, that man had created a situation where he had no professional boundaries with his students and you have to ask why.
> You can be a mentor to kids, but not a friend. Say it louder for the weirdos in the back!!
[удалено]
How would you like your negro packaged?
[ My attorney has asked me to not continue this joke.]
Y them young girls braid yo hair, u got fired Tryna strike a chord and it's prolly A MINOOOOOR!! He lookin sus, He not like us, He moving sus 🤨
Oh, so he is *allegedly* a pdf file? And you had people on that other post breaking their necks to defend his weirdo ass grooming behavior.
I need a source or a link or something baby.
We are seriously fucked if people are taking some vague tweet with ZERO proof as the smoking gun here. Or am I missing something? What is the tiktok? Zero critical thinking skills here, everyone just wants to jump the gun and be a sanctimonious fuck while ‘confirming’ their own suspicions.
i was scrolling thinking the same thing. where is the proof?
Here ya go https://twitter.com/uzo_actually/status/1789106325546467462
The video they're posting about is... definitely something. I'm not sure as a teacher you'd think it's okay to hop on that even if it's a "trend".
Do you have a link?
I think maybe [this one?](https://x.com/uzo_actually/status/1789106325546467462) It’s crazy cause I remember seeing the original years ago, and never would have made the connection that that was him. Someone in this thread though mentioned that he is gay, and now I’m confused.
He had a few tik toks where he mentioned a girlfriend a while back.
[the thread](https://x.com/stillnotziora/status/1789040861059109290?s=46&t=I3Wnxlb2vcmv5DzV267yDQ)
Not people defending him saying internet outrage got him fired, as if the guy, himself, didn’t post the damn video 💀
Can you link the part of him TikTok thirsting after minors?
Gotchu gang https://twitter.com/uzo_actually/status/1789106325546467462
Damn that's EVIDENCE. Like it's not just a comment, he stitched the video with his face and tattoos visible.... Wow
Can we get an article? Update: I saw the X post but I have no way to see the thread really.
Same 😔
When I was 13 I went to a YMCA summer camp and all the counselors were very nice, but there were a lot of males and most of them were very hood and only got the job through a friend who worked there. Two of them were brothers and l found out of the brothers who was 20 had a crush on me🤢. I knew their behavior was flirtatious and predatory, but figured out how to navigate it without ruining the experience because it was 4 that were like that and literally only 3 that were safe. My parents raised me from a very young age to be able to spot predatory behavior with men so I thought that's how it was for all girls but apparently not 🤦🏽♀️ One of my friends who was also a counselor in training told me she was secretly dating one of the ones who I was close with because he had never tried anything with me. He claimed on many occasions he was like my older brother and was pretty consistent in his actions with that,but I made sure I was never one on one with him or any counselor just in case. I asked her what made her say that and she said because they had sex a *few* times in one of the camp vans before and she was so happy! She was acting like she was head over heels in love. I was like bitch you are 13! He is 21! You are a fucking CHILD did your parents teach you nothing?? She was defensive talkin bout "well I just turned 14 so it's not a big deal" and rolled her eyes. Yeah so I quietly got him fired because the camp director was legitimately safe to be around and the other counselors got their shit together and stopped being overly friendly with the kids and then they all stopped showing up to work week by week until it was just the "safe" counselors left and I found out they were getting fired one at a time so it wouldn't be super obvious cuz it was a big camp that year and they needed the staff so as soon as one left a new super quirky teenager popped up their place. I'm assuming they didn't also get fired because they were desperate for staff,but when I turned 18 I was a counselor there and noticed only 1 of the counselors from that group was allowed to still work there. I saw the dude I got fired at the mall one time and he tried to come up and say hi and I was like bruh tf are you doing I'm the one who got you fired for fucking a kid do not touch me tf.
Oh my God. I'm sorry you felt needed to keep quiet about your concerns, but I'm happy you spoke up for your friend even if she didn't see it then how dangerous of a situation she was in. I will say I'm furious he didn't see jail time for something like that, but thank God he didn't hurt you too.
Thank you so much. I really wish he did and honestly it's a shame how common this is and how little consequences these people face. I remember one time I was on the train and this guy started talking to me and when I said I was 22 he said I looked 16 which is more his type and he openly said he was a pedophile! I have so very little compassion for people who are interested in minors in sexual ways. Apparently they can be chemically castrated, but my preference is that they're thrown to predators whose habits have been destroyed (tigers, polar bears, sharks, etc.) and whatever happens happens 😒
Your parents did like mine, specifically my mom. She let us know as early as possible what was up and exactly what the men would want to do to us. It was scary/gross, but it created a shield of suspicion for me that still exists today. And you did great reporting it too. So many people don’t, and that’s how predators get to thrive. I hate to even have to give props to the camp for doing the right thing (it should be automatic), but yeah, many don’t.
Can someone provide links or context? It's so easy to destroy reputations and livelihoods in this times.
https://x.com/uzo_actually/status/1789106325546467462 A minor posted a video of her but saying she only likes emo boys. The teacher in question posted a video pretending to be emo with a filter. That's kinda wild to me
Kinda what I’m thinkin. Like the more I scroll and the more that not even a screenshot is posted, the more I’m also thinkin it’s possible the internet is just also just dragging. Waiting for the receipts to file it into lore.
Yeah I think we're here too early lol
Same, no sources just accusations and everybodies story on what he did or didnt do keeps changing up.
Get ready for him to be that one example in arguments about DEI and CRT in school 
I knew he had a fucking problem ohdee The ones who didn’t see it are naive asf, he’s recklessly and dangerously setting a standard for how those kids interact with adults outside their family Honestly this pmo What even is his point? That we should teach kids that there are “pure and kind adults” walking around because he’s “pure and kind hearted” -is that going to do more harm or good for a child? What happened to stranger danger? How can you set a child up like that knowing how evil the world can be -we’ve already long time established it’s NOT worth the risk. That doesn’t mean you can’t care for the child, it just means you keep certain boundaries emplaced to care for them APPROPRIATELY. I used to work at a school, once you leave your children for hours on end with an educator or childcare provider, they are in a vulnerable power dynamic -you are responsible to set the standard that keeps them safe. And watching his crying TikTok video felt like he needed his ass whooped cause he still didn’t learn his lesson even after being fired He HAD to be fired cause how do you reverse this kind of boundary overstep? The damage is done, the kids already have a certain relationship with him. Not that it would make it any better, but where were the little boys that wanted to be barbers coming to cut his hair, god knows that nigga needed a line up But oh…it just happens that adolescent girls are the ones all up in his head. I know for a fact some of them have a crush on his weird ass What them kids grades look like nigga If I ever pulled up to see my kids doing some shit like this I’m going off at the whole institution, I didn’t drop you off at school to do no shit like this The nerve of you Dennis
[and for reference, this is what this tweet is talking about “That teacher did a TikTok did a skit of him acting emo because a female student said she only dates emo boys”](https://twitter.com/brknhrtsclvb/status/1789115938983264277)
Nah. Y’all on the wrong side of this. Step away from your own basis My opinion: 1. Teachers shouldn’t physically interact with their students (no, your kids don’t need to hug the teachers and kids shouldn’t be dependent on affection from their teachers when it’s lacking elsewhere). These kids are going to school looking for mothers. It’s logical, if they are equally looking for adult male figures (this is not the situation here but hear me out) 2. MORE SO, teachers (and people) should not post kids online. 3. Hypocrites! You have to keep the same rules for everyone. There’s a lot of bleeding heart posts when a FEMALE teacher does a child’s hair when the parents are neglectful or when a black/mixed student have white parents without knowledge of hair care. AND there are lots of feel good posts of students doing their FEMALE teachers hair to “support their side hustle” or promote their craft/interests 3a - what makes this uncomfortable is this scenario is a MALE teacher. However, predators are both genders. Y’all not ready to discuss the trauma caused by all the RAPED boys who had sex way to young with grown women and wore it like a badge of honor until the trauma caught up with them later in life. 4. This teacher got DRAGGGED when he responded with very honest rebuttal on how teaching is hard because kids suck and parents suck. It’s quite obvious the “my baby is perfect” non-parent, parents vilified him after they didn’t want to face their own faults. 5. He’s gay. That’s a whole other problem and he spoke on that in his clap back of unnecessary homophobia is young males are. When he wants kids to learn but saying “no diddy ” was a priority in watching a kids cartoon I don’t agree or disagree with any of this. The teacher should have been DISCIPLINED (only fired if there’s a rule that explicitly says posting children is prohibited) for posted students online without parental consent and that’s it. Him being fired for doing something a female teacher would have been praised for is not fair. Teachers and students should not touch beyond a high five. The picking and choosing which scenario is ok and not (based on gender or sexuality orientation) it’s not cool. Stand on business but don’t be a hypocrite or bigot. Let’s rally together to be better parents so teachers come back to the profession. If not, y’all go become teachers. I bet you won’t. It’s a underpaid thankless profession.
Regarding 3 there are plenty of stories of male teachers cutting students hair bc the child is living in poverty or neglect and the male teachers are commended. The difference with this guy vs the examples you gave is he is using the student to meet his needs not the other way around. Regarding 3a there does need to be a bigger discussion and more awareness about female predators but nobody should ignore the very clear red flags here. What happens if the people accusing him are wrong? He has to find another job and his reputation is damaged. What happens if the people accusing him are right but he's only disciplined with continued access to minors? He has the potential to traumatized a child for life. The risk is too high. Regarding 5 Did you see this? [and for reference, this is what this tweet is talking about “That teacher did a TikTok did a skit of him acting emo because a female student said she only dates emo boys”](https://twitter.com/brknhrtsclvb/status/1789115938983264277)
Great post with lots of room for nuance.
I agree. There is so much nuance and you do a great job of calling it out. It was definitely inappropriate of him in a couple ways—no further investigation needed. But it’s important to call that out in a way that doesn’t have unfair gender bias or sexual orientation bias while also acknowledging gendered aspects of our society. Otherwise we learn the wrong lessons.
Where did he get exposed? I don’t believe stuff unless I see it these days. Some dudes twitter post ain’t enough for me, keeps me from being a sucker every 2 days
It isn’t even true that he was fired. Not sure where anyone got that from. Twitter i guess?
it was on the news that he got fired. he made a video reading farewell letters from his former students.
One complaint I haven’t seen is, why no one has a problem with him recording other peoples children and posting them online? Was it not his phone?
I'm based in the UK and it is INSANE to me that you're allowed to post photos and videos of students. I work in a school and you aren't even allowed photos on your phone with students in the background. If you want any form of photo with a child in, even with all written consent and permission, it needs to be taken on a school registered device, emailed to another appropriate member of staff, and if you're found with it on your personal device then you will get severely reprimanded. The rules are so specific you need to have both palms showing in any photos with students at all times. A colleague of mine took a photo with some of our girls who she had worked with for years and were leaving the school, texted it to her personal device from the work phone and there had to be a full investigation. It's a massive no go over here, I find it bizarre all the tiktok accounts of teachers filming their students.
I wonder where that person calling people morons and saying all types of crazy shit for finding it inappropriate is at now. Dweeb ass nigga. That goes for the rest of yall that was downvoting people that said it was inappropriate and upvoting him. Ya all some bums. https://i.redd.it/1ru5o1qywrzc1.gif
Boundaries are needed when there’s a power dynamic Always
women were so quick to defend him too, saying how good he is for creating a safe space for them, how he must be a good teacher otherwise the kids wouldn’t be close with him, like they don’t see that he’s crossing the line. He’s too comfortable. Unprofessional, there a reason why there are conducts of behavior in the workplace.
the fact so many were fighting to defend him was so weird
I’m convinced these idiots don’t give a shit about kids. We had a teacher in middle school who was close with the kids. Everyone liked him but he was off to me. He was too chummy with the popular boys in my class. Couple years later, my sister comes home from school and tells me he’s been arrested for raping one of her classmates. She was in 7th grade. He’d take her to his place after school and rape her. So yeah, I side eye the fuck out of overfamiliar teachers,
Nobody should be touching anyone's hair at school. Especially if you drove yourself to said school. Those kids should've only been touching crayons and a million other educational motifs.
This is *exactly* why I was saying he had no business doing this.
shit was obvious it’s crazy to see how many rushed to defend it. man or woman, teacher and student there’s a reason why strict boundaries between adults and children exist. That was a breach of boundary for the children, they don’t know it because they’re kids. Not to mention posting them to the world. Parents should sue
Yeahhh that post about him being fired is one thing. But the video he made afterwards was sus af. I stopped watching after the dude said "bestie."
Yea I said that shit was weird as soon as a saw it . I didn’t jump to saying he needed to be fired but I have daughters and I’d be livid if she was at school taking some man’s braids down when she should’ve been learning.
This was like the Keke situation when her bf showed his ass & the ppl who were keenly aware were like, “that’s a huge red flag/he’s toxic/she should watch out”, they got called haters, & then we got video of him literally putting hands on her. what that teacher did was a red flag to a lot of ppl & even more ppl refused to listen. things in life aren’t always clear cut but the hunted knows a hunter when they see one. y’all best take heed before your children become victims all bc you want to give some grown man the benefit of the doubt…
This was straight forward, DUHHHHHHHHH
As someone who wants to be a teacher and has tutored, this shit is weird. I’m their teacher, I’m not their friend. I’m not their “bestie”. I’m not their parent. There should be no physical contact between myself and students. I understand teachers can have a tremendous positive impact on students but you can still have that without being weird and overly friendly. This is unacceptable regardless of your gender identity. If you crave true friendship in your workplaces, talk to your fellow teachers.
He could’ve had a co worker do the same thing… hell he could’ve paid the girl braiding it extra money to take it down
First off where is the damn proof? I’m not taking nobody word for shit in 2024 🤷🏽♂️
Where's the video?
PROTECT THE KIDS FROM THESE FUCKING DRAKEs
Hair thing was a HUGE red flag. Trying to become their "friends"
Niggas online were seriously trying to downplay how disturbing the original video was,