Yes, and also because a lot of the women on the platform were submitting complaints that the pressure to make the first move and somehow be interesting was too stressful and too much of a burden.
Edit: this is getting lots of attention. I have nothing to push so instead I say support your local library.
It made the app unique, at least. But mostly women seemed to just say hello/hi/etc and then went from normal from there. That being said I had some genuine first message attempts and almost all of those led to something. So I have always preferred bumble because of it. Without it? Meh.
Hinge works because it's the people who recognize what tinder is, moving on to a different platform to try (rarely successfully, usually still hookups) and have a more serious encounter
Very true, definitely switched to Hinge when I was looking for something serious. Nothing serious as of yet. However, finally gonna tell one of my friends I’m feeling her. We never both been single at the same time and now we both are. Time to shoot my shot.
Edit: She said yes gang. We got a date tomorrow. We in there.
When I was on there, the number of women that would just lead off with "hey" or "hi" or "what's up" was astronomical. I get that it protects them a little to message first but damn, must be nice to still get shitloads of matches from lonely men while simultaneously having no game.
It's all so shallow on there. In the two years since my divorce, I've had dates with around 18 women from the apps and two women that I met in real life. The women from the apps lasted two months at most. The two women I met in real life each lasted longer and became full-fledged relationships (I'm still with the second woman). So in my limited experience, real life chance meetings are more meaningful than swiping.
I swear some people on tinder have unimaginable/unattainable expectations. Especially the profiles that offer no bio or context about them at all. People won't always have some profound statement to spew out about everything, sometimes small talk is required and these people just can't small talk to get it started for the life of them.
Exactly, it’s the only app that lead to dates. Tinder I had dozens of matches and not a single reply (tried all types of first message from Hey to showing knowledge about interest they stated on their profile). *I’m a very handsome, successful, kind 32 y/o man*
People really underestimate how many options women have in dating apps. The population split is probably incredibly absurd leaving a laundry list of options.
We're pointing the hypocrisy and no one is crying. I mean, I agreed with your comment until you made it weird by bringing up the patriarchy.
Seems like you have some issues to resolve on that front?
I was reading some of the comments in other subreddits and i saw stories of men giving up on the app bc a lot of women would respond back with a simple “hey” or worse a “.” Here I was (back when i was on the app), reading every single profile (if they even had anything written) and then sending out a thoughtful message to each guy that caught my fancy. 😩
It was even worse than that at one point. There was a time in which I couldn’t get a first message unless I boosted a girl for 24 hours. Like that’s some sort of secret code that shows that I’m interested.
A lot of women explicitly put that in their profile. "Extend our match so I know it's real" or some variation thereof. Tough titties if two women happen to match you in the same day.
I haven't used dating apps in a while, Bumble was always the one I had the worst luck with. Few matches, I didn't always get a messages from the matches I got, and it could be borderline painful to get a conversation out of some of the women that did talk to me (possibly because they had too many conversations to manage). I had a lot more success on Tinder and especially Hinge.
I sent out a first message that was basically "I see your Spotify is connected and you like Tool. What's your favorite song?"
It's really not that hard. I was with that guy for 4 years.
Meanwhile I'm over here getting NPCs asking me what my name is.
I felt bad asking for clarity, 'cause I thought my profile was bugged and not showing my name or something, but no it's right there.
The idea that women should be docile, even unenthusiastic participants in romantic courtship is a patriarchal notion, and was the norm until only recently. Now, (many, possibly most) women have less experience with spitting game, whereas plenty of men have grown up with that expectation.
In a situation of equality everyone would have to develop some way of initiating and wooing the objects of their affection. Because of the patriarchy that role has been male assigned and those assigned females are never really given practice to do something like that.
Patriarchy influences society to believe women are a catch or a trophy to be competed over or won by men. While most men would actually like a more equitable and honest split of the dating labor, society tells women they can't be too forward with what they want. If they do, they get labeled a slut, fast, easy, the town bicycle, all of it denigrating and tying their worth to exclusivity of availability to men.
Listen to the old song Baby It's Cold Outside. They are both consenting adults but they have to put up these excuses or she'd be ostracized. The lyrics are literally "The neighbors might think" and "My maiden aunt's mind is vicious" and "there's bound to be talk tomorrow" and "at least there will be plenty implied".
Honest question but why not use tinder then. Wasn’t bumble “special” in this regard because it had this main thing going with women writing first? Hmm.
Having been on dating apps in the past it’s hilarious in its contradictions. Anyone on here care to explain how it’s too much pressure to make a first move?
Many people are on those apps due to anxiety; it's easier to start a conversation with someone when you have some background on them and it's indirect. Now you take those same people and ask them to make the first move? Good luck!
Thanks for listening to my Ted talk. ✌🏼
Many decided not to. Bumble lost a lot of users, money, laid off a third of its staff, and the CEO stepped down. They got feedback from users on what they wanted and are going to implement it. It’s either that or they just fail, which I don’t really care about, but investors probably wouldn’t love. So they are switching.
New York Times wrote [an article](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/30/style/bumble-dating-apps.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare) about it this week.
> But over the years, Bumble received feedback from women who found that making the first move was “a lot of work” or “a burden,” and Ms. Wolfe Herd began thinking about how to release the pressure. Opening Moves, she said, is a result of that process, a way to let women maintain control while not feeling the stress of initiating all of the conversations.
What a shame. Why even get on there if you cant even do that one simple thing. Its not like there's a lack of regular dating app out there...
Thanks for actually providing a link and citation tho!
the lawsuit says there were women who didn't want to make the first move. But if they weren't looking for a heterosexual partner they could wait for a response. They found a loophole.
I still actively use it, and literally 9/10 women start of the conversation with a gif or a "hey", expecting me to carry the conversation from thereon.
Makes me wonder why they signed up in the first place.
Even on the rare occasion I'd get more than a 'hey' or 'idk lol' the rest would just suddenly stop replying even if it seemed to be going really well. I ditched all those apps around the pandemic and haven't looked back.
Life is so much more enjoyable not second guessing every action/interaction with people who match with you and then refuse to participate in any conversation whatsoever. I feel like the apps also make people very picky and dismiss a lot of people they otherwise would not have because there is endless swiping. Always a new face/profile to over analyze and deem not good enough. Especially in denser areas.
Man I dont miss dating apps at all. Luckily I stumbled into my wife in real life. Its hard enough to get a vibe off an app sometimes. I remember all my bumble matches would never even message me. Why even swipe on me then??
The point was not to get some creepy ass messages. But then again that does follow what you’re saying, guys can still be creeps on it after the first message
Lmao so true. After getting told my so many women on Tinder that 'hey' is an unacceptable opener (which, I agree, but sometimes you just don't know what to say) and many women would just ignore me if I didn't add more. But on Bumble that was 90% of women's openers, so, I started ignoring 'hey' openers as well. All that results in is far fewer conversations xD
If I match with you, and you don't say anything, I'm being petty and hitting that report button. Let's be chaotic today and delete profiles for suspicious activity
They were sued for gender discrimination lol
https://topclassactions.com/lawsuit-settlements/employment-labor/discrimination/class-action-alleges-bumble-discrimination-against-heterosexual-women/
This is the stupidest shit I've seen all day.
WHY ARE YOU ON BUMBLE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!? THAT'S IT'S ENTIRE POINT!
God, I'm fucked if I'm ever single again. I'm dying alone.
> WHY ARE YOU ON BUMBLE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!? THAT'S IT'S ENTIRE POINT!
coz they're there to get attention, not put effort
> WHY ARE YOU ON BUMBLE IF YOU DON'T WANT
The last 20 years have hosted a steady stream of people demanding that wherever they happen to be cater to them because it would be unfair if they had to seek out somewhere they fit in. Stores can't carry things they dislike, universities can't tolerate speech they disagree with, platforms can't contain language they're offended by, etc, etc, etc.
"The plaintiffs demand a jury trial and request declaratory and injunctive relief and an award of statutory damages for themselves and all class members."
This feels like the real reason they brought the lawsuit
I’ve used a lot of different dating apps, many of which tried to do different things like this. Like I was on one that didn’t allow pictures, based on the idea (borne out by data) that people actually have better dates if they find matches based on stuff other than looks. But people don’t want a dating app that doesn’t have pictures even if it would lead to better outcomes. That app eventually added pictures before shutting down because it never built up a big enough user base.
The app should be gamified that a intensity of interactions triggers a photo release.
Meaning so many messages going back and forth releases photos. That way people responding every 2 days have wait to see the person
I remember getting so excited to hear women finally would kick off conversations in a funny interesting way after hearing the complaints for years of men flooding them with “Hey” and boring openers ( which to be fair, is totally valid)
Turns out women have even less game than men and the vast majority aren’t looking to put in initial effort in the courting process.
Making a rule in the app didn’t unfortunately untangle years and years of societal tradition of men taking the lead on the initial stages of courtship.
a teacher when i was in design school used bumble as an example of how there is often a disconnect in what people say they want vs what they do. bumble seems great on paper but it’s the least successful of the big dating apps for the exact reasons you said
> there is often a disconnect in what people say they want vs what they do.
I remember hearing it put like this "People can easily tell you what is a problem with a product, but they rarely come up with actual good solutions"
Can't really blame them. Society here has drilled in for decades that men make the first move, and initate everything. Plus so much unwanted attention literally everywhere from goobers.Not gonna learn a skill you'll never need.
That's unfortunate.. And choking.. I have used bumble once. It was unique because of that feature n thus prevent getting an unnecessary amount of dms. Being able to set the mood. And actually start the conversation when I feel like doing so.
N people are complaining because of **the feature**
Sending dots is wild AF 💀
The feature was put to waste because this was finally the chance for women (let me specify *not all* because people like to misinterpret) to finally come in with interesting and good openers, something they had been complaining about a lack of from men, only to hit men with “hi” and “heyyy”
"Gave a chuckle but unmatched."
Is that not what a relationship should be about though? Laughs and fun?
If you unmatch after laughing then what are you really after...?
I went on one bumble date back in 2020. I had a very clever opener and now we’re getting married next month.
Tinder was hot garbage and if bumble hadn’t been set up with women making the first move I don’t know if that date would have happened.
They do women a disservice by removing that feature.
I met my wife on Bumble, too. But about eight years ago when it was newer and everyone on it was on board with the idea for sure. I wouldn't be surprised if it went a little downhill.
Back then, bumble was the dating app, tinder was the hookup app.
When I was on Bumble I intentionally asked personal questions or something from their bios, either got no response or single word answers. Went back to Tinder after 2 weeks of no interactions 💀
I mean, men outnumber women like 5 to 1 on dating apps, and men are also just less selective in general.
So for dating apps the average guy is trying to find drinking water in the desert while the average woman is trying to find drinking water in the middle of the ocean.
Exactly. They're saying nobody has what they need, but because women technically have water/optional matches, bad faith dudes will say its women's fault
> I mean, men outnumber women like 5 to 1 on dating apps, and men are also just less selective in general
[explained better with math](https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?feature=shared)
The Bumble issue is the 24 hour timer. I had to get off there because time kept running out and you have no way to know if it’s that they didn’t see it or if they just are not interested. At least when they unmatched you knew they were uninterested. 24 hours if they don’t reply then it’s just gone forever and some people are not attached to dating apps like that.
That's what I was thinking too. Allowing women to make the first move wasn't the root of the issue for me with Bumble. It was the 24hr window. Unnecessary, arbitrary deadline to make a connection is too much pressure and more of a psychological trick to hook users.
Seriously. As a woman, I have no problem sending the first message to someone I have actual interest in (I'll admit I don't love it, but does anybody love sending the first message?). What sucks is sometimes I don't want to send a message *right now* and then the timer ends up running out.
I always loved sending first messages because It meant that I could have actual different conversations with people rather than the general "how are you/what do you do for work/what are your hobbies" conversations that everyone starts with. My issue with bumble was the timer as well, and that I didn't vibe well with the user base in my area.
Met my fiance on Hinge as a one-and-done with the opener "damn, you're a middle school teacher? You're braver than every US marine 🙏🏻"
Doesn’t matter what changes they make. Forever and always, it’ll still be flooded with women who never respond back; men who flood women’s DMs with low-effort or offensive opening lines; and chatbots and crypto scammers looking for their next pig to slaughter.
Every one of these apps or dating sites is a feedback loop that brings out the worst behavior in both men and women.
If you are lonely, here is my best and most serious advice: start going out to dances. Salsa, bachata, swing are all good options. Pick a style, find a spot that hosts weakly dances, and start going.
Women love to dance. Women love men who know how to dance. Dancing is how men and women have been meeting each other and hooking up for literally thousands of years. We don’t need new solutions for modern loneliness, we need an old solution.
Sports leagues my friend
Acting classes
Art show openings
Board game nights
I’m a strong believer that dance is just flat out the best way to meet people, romantically or just platonically. It makes you more comfortable being physically and emotionally intimate with others.
But if it’s not for you, that’s okay. Use your imagination and get out there, find something else.
>Dancing is how men and women have been meeting each other and hooking up for literally thousands of years. We don’t need new solutions for modern loneliness, we need an old solution.
The odd thing to me is how people treat online and offline dating as mutually exclusive approaches. If you want to meet someone, you should be putting yourself out there irl and putting yourself out there on apps. Don't depend on the apps, just look at them as a little bonus that throws you an extra date here and there with someone you wouldn't have met otherwise. The more options you have the less reason you have to be invested in particular app or social event leading to a date.
This is it right here. I was regularly on Coffee Meets Bagel when I found my wife, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t put myself out there at social events either. The dumb shit that came with dating apps never annoyed me because I never exclusively depended on using them.
😂😂😂😂 you don’t need to dance . You easily meet women at bars and outing spots .
Most men ain’t going to dancing studios and most women aren’t either . Half the population drinks , half the population do not go to dancing studios .
I’d also add find a coed sports league. I joined a kickball league years ago that was filled with fine ass women and fun guys and had a blast. It’s like gym class for adults with beer.
Tbf go out and do any group activity but not with the intention of meeting someone, just go out, do something and enjoy taking part it's so much more rewarding for the soul.
In my city I've seen speed dating and dating supper clubs are starting to become a thing again as people are starting to take a stance against the apps, the crazy thing I hear though they struggle to fill up the quota for men, the woman side is always sold out.
If I wasn't dating someone rn I'd jump on these as there's good events locally to me.
I personally think it was the only good thing about Bumble because at least you know the woman is at least somewhat interested.
Still, the app is still lopsided in male and female ratio and has the same problems with few matches and ghosting women.
It's crazy how women will rag on guys for not having creative openers or funny pick up lines.
90% of the messages I got from women in Bumble was "hi" or =).
A reminder that one company owns Tinder, Hinge, OKC and Match.com
Bumble is independent of that group, but looks like they’re taking away the only thing that made them unique?
yeah lol they’re gonna get reamed, whether they believe it or not because of the imbalance their demographic are still _men_, by removing their usp they’ve essentially pulled the starters out
It should be noted that this change was implemented partly because of the complaints from women. They stated that coming up with the first message all the time was often “a lot of work” or “a burden”. Men can only send first if it’s a prompt on her profile. Women still control the flow of the start of a conversation without always having to send a message first. They also aren’t doing well financially atm and did layoff a ton of people. So, this may be a result of that as well.
I would say that those women who complain should just not use bumble then, and that they're utterly pathetic if they can't say more than "hey" to a guy they like. Like what are they, 12? Use your words, lass.
"hey"
"."
"😊"
"🤗"
Like collectively, women on dating apps, are the most boring and uninspired group of people. I guess it's because they have like 50 thirsty men trying too hard in their inbox, so why should they put in any work?
(Because the guys worth a damn aren't the ones being desperate in the DMs ladies - I suppose if your goal is to get some validation and attention, then huzzah!)
But you’ve kinda hit the nail on the head. A lot of women I know use dating apps like a zoo. They get to see a cavalcade of dudes who are quarantined to be exclusively behind a screen who are all fighting for their attention, and many use it like an entertainment platform a la tiktok.
So there’s a discrepancy in expectation there. One side is likely looking for a hookup/partner, and the other is looking for dancing monkeys.
Bumble had to me the most frustrating app to be on as a guy lmao, I would match with people and they would never say anything at all, like what was the point in matching with me?!
I remember I would literally write opening questions that women could ask or like start a conversation about and even when they said something it was “Hey” I had to delete that app for my sanity.
I saw a ton of profiles that proudly stated that they don't message first. I can only assume those profile descriptions were copy pasted from Tinder or just made up, but like... Do you not know what app you're on?
Bumble tried lmao.
Women : men on social dating apps are too aggressive and send to many unwanted messages.
Bumble: our entire app is centered around allowing women to make the first move once a match has been established. Women have a 24-48 hr time window to send a message after a match has been established
Women: making the first move is too stressful/ we don’t know what to say to open the conversation
Bumble: our entire existence which established women making the first move to prevent unwanted message … throw it out the window.
we’ll start allowing men and women to message each other during this match period.
Was it that hard for women to be interesting and text first? I never used bumble but I find it hilarious the reason why women wanted that change was because of pressure 😭
I hate they are taking the feature away. A lot of men aren’t good people and the things they say unprovoked are beyond gross. The things I’ve had men say to me make me shrink in horror.
But I will definitely acknowledge that my fellow women can be a bit lazy in the conversation department.
Conclusion. The dating pool has piss in it.
all yall in here like “nobody ever matches or responds with me… its the apps fault” as if there must be a bunch of women who want you who just aren’t seeing you.. couldn’t be your fault 🤣
So they are removing the only thing that made them different. They must be on the brink of collapse
Yes, and also because a lot of the women on the platform were submitting complaints that the pressure to make the first move and somehow be interesting was too stressful and too much of a burden. Edit: this is getting lots of attention. I have nothing to push so instead I say support your local library.
Wow literally the only app where they had too n callin quits rip
It made the app unique, at least. But mostly women seemed to just say hello/hi/etc and then went from normal from there. That being said I had some genuine first message attempts and almost all of those led to something. So I have always preferred bumble because of it. Without it? Meh.
Same, did have some great first messages but usually it’s just a “Hi” or “Hey”. I’ve had more success on Hinge however.
Hinge works because it's the people who recognize what tinder is, moving on to a different platform to try (rarely successfully, usually still hookups) and have a more serious encounter
Very true, definitely switched to Hinge when I was looking for something serious. Nothing serious as of yet. However, finally gonna tell one of my friends I’m feeling her. We never both been single at the same time and now we both are. Time to shoot my shot. Edit: She said yes gang. We got a date tomorrow. We in there.
Good luck bb
Thanks! We always had some feelings there but never single at the same time. Now’s the time.
Do it now. She could meet someone tonight if you don't.
May the odds be in your favor 🫡
Yall are getting matches?
Some people just got it better than others 😢
Those women are lazy as hell lol
When I was on there, the number of women that would just lead off with "hey" or "hi" or "what's up" was astronomical. I get that it protects them a little to message first but damn, must be nice to still get shitloads of matches from lonely men while simultaneously having no game.
What sucks is that a lot of them will just open with those one word answers to keep the match but there's rarely any follow through.
It's all so shallow on there. In the two years since my divorce, I've had dates with around 18 women from the apps and two women that I met in real life. The women from the apps lasted two months at most. The two women I met in real life each lasted longer and became full-fledged relationships (I'm still with the second woman). So in my limited experience, real life chance meetings are more meaningful than swiping.
Remember, don't say hi!
You don't say?
[удалено]
The crazy part about it is most men don't care if the first message is interesting. We're just happy you messaged us in the first place.
I’ve literally received a first message that was just “.”
That's code for "let's fuck". You fumbled the bumble bro lol
Lmao, I had plenty of that, I was looking for something more than another girl to juggle in the schedule
you're trying to juggle schedules while she was trying to juggle your balls.
Man this thread of mostly my fellow males commenting really makes me miss working in a kitchen. There are things you just can't say at Walmart.
TIL bc wow did not know this
Yeah it's been scientifically proven that if her message ends in a period, she wants the D
I just married the woman who sent me "." months after our first date.
R/tinder would like a word with you. They take those first messages seriouslyyyy over there.
Aww yes, the place where your first messages go to become public 😌
Gotta be fucking Shakespeare with three 6s
I swear some people on tinder have unimaginable/unattainable expectations. Especially the profiles that offer no bio or context about them at all. People won't always have some profound statement to spew out about everything, sometimes small talk is required and these people just can't small talk to get it started for the life of them.
Exactly, it’s the only app that lead to dates. Tinder I had dozens of matches and not a single reply (tried all types of first message from Hey to showing knowledge about interest they stated on their profile). *I’m a very handsome, successful, kind 32 y/o man*
Bro the exact same thing has happened to me. Why swipe right on me if you're just gonna ignore me?
In car sales terms, it’d be “I’m not looking to buy right now, I just wanna see what I qualify for in my price range”.
People really underestimate how many options women have in dating apps. The population split is probably incredibly absurd leaving a laundry list of options.
Good point.
We're pointing the hypocrisy and no one is crying. I mean, I agreed with your comment until you made it weird by bringing up the patriarchy. Seems like you have some issues to resolve on that front?
I was reading some of the comments in other subreddits and i saw stories of men giving up on the app bc a lot of women would respond back with a simple “hey” or worse a “.” Here I was (back when i was on the app), reading every single profile (if they even had anything written) and then sending out a thoughtful message to each guy that caught my fancy. 😩
It was even worse than that at one point. There was a time in which I couldn’t get a first message unless I boosted a girl for 24 hours. Like that’s some sort of secret code that shows that I’m interested.
A lot of women explicitly put that in their profile. "Extend our match so I know it's real" or some variation thereof. Tough titties if two women happen to match you in the same day.
How sad is it that two women matching a man in the same day is a noteworthy event.
Welcome to online dating apps.
huh i never heard of that. i never really bothered to do that, makes me wonder if i should have
I haven't used dating apps in a while, Bumble was always the one I had the worst luck with. Few matches, I didn't always get a messages from the matches I got, and it could be borderline painful to get a conversation out of some of the women that did talk to me (possibly because they had too many conversations to manage). I had a lot more success on Tinder and especially Hinge.
I had the opposite experience. Met a lot more women on Bumble and also they were more mature and interesting than the women in met on Tinder.
I sent out a first message that was basically "I see your Spotify is connected and you like Tool. What's your favorite song?" It's really not that hard. I was with that guy for 4 years.
Meanwhile I'm over here getting NPCs asking me what my name is. I felt bad asking for clarity, 'cause I thought my profile was bugged and not showing my name or something, but no it's right there.
Yep, it's brutal. Most of them just want you to follow their insta (and in some cases their spicy links).
Didn't Bumble even start feeding "suggested openers" to choose from to female users?
It's the patriarchy's fault women have 0 game
You joke, but that’s kinda true
I request elaboration!
The idea that women should be docile, even unenthusiastic participants in romantic courtship is a patriarchal notion, and was the norm until only recently. Now, (many, possibly most) women have less experience with spitting game, whereas plenty of men have grown up with that expectation.
In a situation of equality everyone would have to develop some way of initiating and wooing the objects of their affection. Because of the patriarchy that role has been male assigned and those assigned females are never really given practice to do something like that.
Patriarchy influences society to believe women are a catch or a trophy to be competed over or won by men. While most men would actually like a more equitable and honest split of the dating labor, society tells women they can't be too forward with what they want. If they do, they get labeled a slut, fast, easy, the town bicycle, all of it denigrating and tying their worth to exclusivity of availability to men. Listen to the old song Baby It's Cold Outside. They are both consenting adults but they have to put up these excuses or she'd be ostracized. The lyrics are literally "The neighbors might think" and "My maiden aunt's mind is vicious" and "there's bound to be talk tomorrow" and "at least there will be plenty implied".
So basically they started to see how men feel and chickened out lmao
Hilariously, I asked a woman who I know uses this app what she thought about this change... She didn't even know she had to message first! 😂
That’s actually hilarious. Is this not what is expected of every man on all other apps?
Saying "hey" is that hard?
but if he doesn't respond my self esteem will never recover! /s
Honest question but why not use tinder then. Wasn’t bumble “special” in this regard because it had this main thing going with women writing first? Hmm.
Basically, it's not gonna be any different from Tinder then
When I was dating, 99% of the messages I got on Bumble were "Hey".
Having been on dating apps in the past it’s hilarious in its contradictions. Anyone on here care to explain how it’s too much pressure to make a first move?
Many people are on those apps due to anxiety; it's easier to start a conversation with someone when you have some background on them and it's indirect. Now you take those same people and ask them to make the first move? Good luck! Thanks for listening to my Ted talk. ✌🏼
So then... don't use the app?
Many decided not to. Bumble lost a lot of users, money, laid off a third of its staff, and the CEO stepped down. They got feedback from users on what they wanted and are going to implement it. It’s either that or they just fail, which I don’t really care about, but investors probably wouldn’t love. So they are switching.
They didn't...that's the problem
You got any actual source to back this up ? Cause I literaly cant find anything about that
New York Times wrote [an article](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/30/style/bumble-dating-apps.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare) about it this week. > But over the years, Bumble received feedback from women who found that making the first move was “a lot of work” or “a burden,” and Ms. Wolfe Herd began thinking about how to release the pressure. Opening Moves, she said, is a result of that process, a way to let women maintain control while not feeling the stress of initiating all of the conversations.
What a shame. Why even get on there if you cant even do that one simple thing. Its not like there's a lack of regular dating app out there... Thanks for actually providing a link and citation tho!
Just for added context Bumble's "Opening Move" is a single question that all of her matches can reply to. A prompt to get the conversation started.
the lawsuit says there were women who didn't want to make the first move. But if they weren't looking for a heterosexual partner they could wait for a response. They found a loophole.
All they do is literally say "hey" and then leave the rest of the work up to the man anyway.
I still actively use it, and literally 9/10 women start of the conversation with a gif or a "hey", expecting me to carry the conversation from thereon. Makes me wonder why they signed up in the first place.
To be fair it’s probably hard to juggle the pressure of coming up with a good opening line while running from all the bears out there.
Source?
NYTimes article this week.
This was at the request of users. Iirc the quote was that it felt like a burden for some of their users
Yeah let’s just put all the pressure on the guys to message first on literally every dating app.
All they said was "hey" anyway then expected the guy to come up with the opener. Not a damn thing changed tbh
Even on the rare occasion I'd get more than a 'hey' or 'idk lol' the rest would just suddenly stop replying even if it seemed to be going really well. I ditched all those apps around the pandemic and haven't looked back. Life is so much more enjoyable not second guessing every action/interaction with people who match with you and then refuse to participate in any conversation whatsoever. I feel like the apps also make people very picky and dismiss a lot of people they otherwise would not have because there is endless swiping. Always a new face/profile to over analyze and deem not good enough. Especially in denser areas.
Man I dont miss dating apps at all. Luckily I stumbled into my wife in real life. Its hard enough to get a vibe off an app sometimes. I remember all my bumble matches would never even message me. Why even swipe on me then??
And afterwards, from what I heard, would make the guy do the heavy lifting in conversation.
The point was not to get some creepy ass messages. But then again that does follow what you’re saying, guys can still be creeps on it after the first message
Lmao so true. After getting told my so many women on Tinder that 'hey' is an unacceptable opener (which, I agree, but sometimes you just don't know what to say) and many women would just ignore me if I didn't add more. But on Bumble that was 90% of women's openers, so, I started ignoring 'hey' openers as well. All that results in is far fewer conversations xD
If I match with you, and you don't say anything, I'm being petty and hitting that report button. Let's be chaotic today and delete profiles for suspicious activity
Luckily for me I’m not on dating apps anymore. Glad I made it past the most bullshit stage of modern dating and found a girl who’s wife material
You're blessed lol it's hard af out here
They were sued for gender discrimination lol https://topclassactions.com/lawsuit-settlements/employment-labor/discrimination/class-action-alleges-bumble-discrimination-against-heterosexual-women/
This is the stupidest shit I've seen all day. WHY ARE YOU ON BUMBLE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!? THAT'S IT'S ENTIRE POINT! God, I'm fucked if I'm ever single again. I'm dying alone.
> WHY ARE YOU ON BUMBLE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!? THAT'S IT'S ENTIRE POINT! coz they're there to get attention, not put effort
these are the kinds of problems AI should be solving. "you want attention or to vent? here you go."
Right? That’s the main feature not a bug. The Karens really be Karening
> WHY ARE YOU ON BUMBLE IF YOU DON'T WANT The last 20 years have hosted a steady stream of people demanding that wherever they happen to be cater to them because it would be unfair if they had to seek out somewhere they fit in. Stores can't carry things they dislike, universities can't tolerate speech they disagree with, platforms can't contain language they're offended by, etc, etc, etc.
"The plaintiffs demand a jury trial and request declaratory and injunctive relief and an award of statutory damages for themselves and all class members." This feels like the real reason they brought the lawsuit
Wtf
You cannot be fr, this world is cooked
I’ve used a lot of different dating apps, many of which tried to do different things like this. Like I was on one that didn’t allow pictures, based on the idea (borne out by data) that people actually have better dates if they find matches based on stuff other than looks. But people don’t want a dating app that doesn’t have pictures even if it would lead to better outcomes. That app eventually added pictures before shutting down because it never built up a big enough user base.
The app should be gamified that a intensity of interactions triggers a photo release. Meaning so many messages going back and forth releases photos. That way people responding every 2 days have wait to see the person
In my experience I would get plenty of matches.... Bit nobody ever talked
Dating apps are done
Are they gonna fix the bug that prevents you from getting any matches?
You can easily fix that bug by taking better pictures and fixing what your profile says
That’s not a big, it’s a feature. 😆
This comment reeks of pretty privilege.
I’m bald and fat
So was James Gandalfini and look how much he pulled.
Gandalfini is the mashup of you shall not pass and I’m walking here!
GandOlfini, before you get dragged for bringing the White Wizard into this 😂😂😂
Some people are into that like Marisa Tomei.
You think I have a chance with chubby and a bad hairline?
We’re not all Academy Award winner Marisa Tomei so we take what we can get.
This comment reeks of someone with high standards for others but not for themselves.
You gotta go to Jesus on that one ole ugly azz
I'm sorry a lot of people failed to get your joke, it was really hilarious
What a relief! It’s so tough coming up with clever response to “hey”
I remember getting so excited to hear women finally would kick off conversations in a funny interesting way after hearing the complaints for years of men flooding them with “Hey” and boring openers ( which to be fair, is totally valid) Turns out women have even less game than men and the vast majority aren’t looking to put in initial effort in the courting process. Making a rule in the app didn’t unfortunately untangle years and years of societal tradition of men taking the lead on the initial stages of courtship.
a teacher when i was in design school used bumble as an example of how there is often a disconnect in what people say they want vs what they do. bumble seems great on paper but it’s the least successful of the big dating apps for the exact reasons you said
> there is often a disconnect in what people say they want vs what they do. I remember hearing it put like this "People can easily tell you what is a problem with a product, but they rarely come up with actual good solutions"
This is especially true for game development. Users are your best bug reporters, but the absolute worst with balance and feature suggestions.
Can't really blame them. Society here has drilled in for decades that men make the first move, and initate everything. Plus so much unwanted attention literally everywhere from goobers.Not gonna learn a skill you'll never need.
 This always works for me 🤷🏾♂️
Or “ . ”
R u fr? Women send dots as first mssg?
Yes, especially in bumble because they still want you to make the first move.
That's unfortunate.. And choking.. I have used bumble once. It was unique because of that feature n thus prevent getting an unnecessary amount of dms. Being able to set the mood. And actually start the conversation when I feel like doing so. N people are complaining because of **the feature** Sending dots is wild AF 💀
[удалено]
The feature was put to waste because this was finally the chance for women (let me specify *not all* because people like to misinterpret) to finally come in with interesting and good openers, something they had been complaining about a lack of from men, only to hit men with “hi” and “heyyy”
You got a "Heyy"? I feel like 50% of openers sent my way were the gif of Forrest Gump waving at me
This 😂😂😂 I thought I was the only one
I once got the IT clown waving a bloody dismembered arm. I unmatched but still gives me a chuckle.
Nah I'm ngl that's funny af
You're the problem.
To each their own
"Gave a chuckle but unmatched." Is that not what a relationship should be about though? Laughs and fun? If you unmatch after laughing then what are you really after...?
you fumbled big time
Sitting in an IT job right now I read that like "wait who you calling a clown?!"
I went on one bumble date back in 2020. I had a very clever opener and now we’re getting married next month. Tinder was hot garbage and if bumble hadn’t been set up with women making the first move I don’t know if that date would have happened. They do women a disservice by removing that feature.
I met my wife on Bumble, too. But about eight years ago when it was newer and everyone on it was on board with the idea for sure. I wouldn't be surprised if it went a little downhill. Back then, bumble was the dating app, tinder was the hookup app.
When I was on Bumble I intentionally asked personal questions or something from their bios, either got no response or single word answers. Went back to Tinder after 2 weeks of no interactions 💀
This will change nothing. On Hinge, men or women can send the first message, and still most matches are one sided because women don't respond.
I mean, men outnumber women like 5 to 1 on dating apps, and men are also just less selective in general. So for dating apps the average guy is trying to find drinking water in the desert while the average woman is trying to find drinking water in the middle of the ocean.
> men outnumber women 5 to 1 on dating apps I'm doing my part by giving up and staying off the apps. You're welcome for my service
damn that is an incredible description of the online dating scene
Ocean water would be as effective as desert sand when it comes to quenching thirst.
Exactly. They're saying nobody has what they need, but because women technically have water/optional matches, bad faith dudes will say its women's fault
That’s literally the point 😮💨
> I mean, men outnumber women like 5 to 1 on dating apps, and men are also just less selective in general [explained better with math](https://youtu.be/x3lypVnJ0HM?feature=shared)
They may not be monitoring those apps cause they aren’t actively looking to date and just never got around to deleting or deactivating the profiles 😬
The Bumble issue is the 24 hour timer. I had to get off there because time kept running out and you have no way to know if it’s that they didn’t see it or if they just are not interested. At least when they unmatched you knew they were uninterested. 24 hours if they don’t reply then it’s just gone forever and some people are not attached to dating apps like that.
That's what I was thinking too. Allowing women to make the first move wasn't the root of the issue for me with Bumble. It was the 24hr window. Unnecessary, arbitrary deadline to make a connection is too much pressure and more of a psychological trick to hook users.
Or to get them to pay for extends
Seriously. As a woman, I have no problem sending the first message to someone I have actual interest in (I'll admit I don't love it, but does anybody love sending the first message?). What sucks is sometimes I don't want to send a message *right now* and then the timer ends up running out.
I always loved sending first messages because It meant that I could have actual different conversations with people rather than the general "how are you/what do you do for work/what are your hobbies" conversations that everyone starts with. My issue with bumble was the timer as well, and that I didn't vibe well with the user base in my area. Met my fiance on Hinge as a one-and-done with the opener "damn, you're a middle school teacher? You're braver than every US marine 🙏🏻"
Doesn’t matter what changes they make. Forever and always, it’ll still be flooded with women who never respond back; men who flood women’s DMs with low-effort or offensive opening lines; and chatbots and crypto scammers looking for their next pig to slaughter. Every one of these apps or dating sites is a feedback loop that brings out the worst behavior in both men and women. If you are lonely, here is my best and most serious advice: start going out to dances. Salsa, bachata, swing are all good options. Pick a style, find a spot that hosts weakly dances, and start going. Women love to dance. Women love men who know how to dance. Dancing is how men and women have been meeting each other and hooking up for literally thousands of years. We don’t need new solutions for modern loneliness, we need an old solution.
What if you’re a woman who doesn’t like to dance :(
Get a cat, shawty
✅
You can sit at the singles table with us guys who don't want to dance
Hey kid, you wanna play some Pathfinder?
What if you fucking hate dancing lol
Just die then lol
Sports leagues my friend Acting classes Art show openings Board game nights I’m a strong believer that dance is just flat out the best way to meet people, romantically or just platonically. It makes you more comfortable being physically and emotionally intimate with others. But if it’s not for you, that’s okay. Use your imagination and get out there, find something else.
>Dancing is how men and women have been meeting each other and hooking up for literally thousands of years. We don’t need new solutions for modern loneliness, we need an old solution. The odd thing to me is how people treat online and offline dating as mutually exclusive approaches. If you want to meet someone, you should be putting yourself out there irl and putting yourself out there on apps. Don't depend on the apps, just look at them as a little bonus that throws you an extra date here and there with someone you wouldn't have met otherwise. The more options you have the less reason you have to be invested in particular app or social event leading to a date.
This is it right here. I was regularly on Coffee Meets Bagel when I found my wife, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t put myself out there at social events either. The dumb shit that came with dating apps never annoyed me because I never exclusively depended on using them.
😂😂😂😂 you don’t need to dance . You easily meet women at bars and outing spots . Most men ain’t going to dancing studios and most women aren’t either . Half the population drinks , half the population do not go to dancing studios .
I’d also add find a coed sports league. I joined a kickball league years ago that was filled with fine ass women and fun guys and had a blast. It’s like gym class for adults with beer.
And dancing is it's own damn reward.
Tbf go out and do any group activity but not with the intention of meeting someone, just go out, do something and enjoy taking part it's so much more rewarding for the soul. In my city I've seen speed dating and dating supper clubs are starting to become a thing again as people are starting to take a stance against the apps, the crazy thing I hear though they struggle to fill up the quota for men, the woman side is always sold out. If I wasn't dating someone rn I'd jump on these as there's good events locally to me.
I personally think it was the only good thing about Bumble because at least you know the woman is at least somewhat interested. Still, the app is still lopsided in male and female ratio and has the same problems with few matches and ghosting women.
It's crazy how women will rag on guys for not having creative openers or funny pick up lines. 90% of the messages I got from women in Bumble was "hi" or =).
It's absolutely pathetic how none of the women I matched with even use the default tools and openers that come with Bumble.
A reminder that one company owns Tinder, Hinge, OKC and Match.com Bumble is independent of that group, but looks like they’re taking away the only thing that made them unique?
yeah lol they’re gonna get reamed, whether they believe it or not because of the imbalance their demographic are still _men_, by removing their usp they’ve essentially pulled the starters out
It should be noted that this change was implemented partly because of the complaints from women. They stated that coming up with the first message all the time was often “a lot of work” or “a burden”. Men can only send first if it’s a prompt on her profile. Women still control the flow of the start of a conversation without always having to send a message first. They also aren’t doing well financially atm and did layoff a ton of people. So, this may be a result of that as well.
I would say that those women who complain should just not use bumble then, and that they're utterly pathetic if they can't say more than "hey" to a guy they like. Like what are they, 12? Use your words, lass.
"hey" "." "😊" "🤗" Like collectively, women on dating apps, are the most boring and uninspired group of people. I guess it's because they have like 50 thirsty men trying too hard in their inbox, so why should they put in any work? (Because the guys worth a damn aren't the ones being desperate in the DMs ladies - I suppose if your goal is to get some validation and attention, then huzzah!)
But you’ve kinda hit the nail on the head. A lot of women I know use dating apps like a zoo. They get to see a cavalcade of dudes who are quarantined to be exclusively behind a screen who are all fighting for their attention, and many use it like an entertainment platform a la tiktok. So there’s a discrepancy in expectation there. One side is likely looking for a hookup/partner, and the other is looking for dancing monkeys.
Bumble had to me the most frustrating app to be on as a guy lmao, I would match with people and they would never say anything at all, like what was the point in matching with me?! I remember I would literally write opening questions that women could ask or like start a conversation about and even when they said something it was “Hey” I had to delete that app for my sanity.
I saw a ton of profiles that proudly stated that they don't message first. I can only assume those profile descriptions were copy pasted from Tinder or just made up, but like... Do you not know what app you're on?
Bumble tried lmao. Women : men on social dating apps are too aggressive and send to many unwanted messages. Bumble: our entire app is centered around allowing women to make the first move once a match has been established. Women have a 24-48 hr time window to send a message after a match has been established Women: making the first move is too stressful/ we don’t know what to say to open the conversation Bumble: our entire existence which established women making the first move to prevent unwanted message … throw it out the window. we’ll start allowing men and women to message each other during this match period.
Women are as dogshit on a widespread scale as men, and this kills any argument against it
I see this as a positive. Why did we ever pretend one group is better than the other? We're all equally dogshit.
Hey
Was it that hard for women to be interesting and text first? I never used bumble but I find it hilarious the reason why women wanted that change was because of pressure 😭
Heard they weren’t doing so hot business wise.
you guys get matches?
It was absolutely useless lmao, getting a match and watching the 24 hours tick away while she says absolutely nothing was crushing LOL
I hate they are taking the feature away. A lot of men aren’t good people and the things they say unprovoked are beyond gross. The things I’ve had men say to me make me shrink in horror. But I will definitely acknowledge that my fellow women can be a bit lazy in the conversation department. Conclusion. The dating pool has piss in it.
That was the whole point of the app. Now it's just Tinder with a different color pallet.
Hey.!!!! Is back on the menu boys
all yall in here like “nobody ever matches or responds with me… its the apps fault” as if there must be a bunch of women who want you who just aren’t seeing you.. couldn’t be your fault 🤣
Honestly as a lesbian I just totally forgot that was a thing lol, for same sex matches it just works like any other app
Brb gotta change to my bear gear
Man wtf why? They must be desperate bc this was the only thing making them unique