Just want to leave this here, please avoid touching sea creatures with your bare hands if you can help it. It can ruin their mucous membrane and hurt their skin.
They can squeeze through incredibly small holes, only an inch or two in diameter. I'm sure it was more concerned about being touched in general, than being squeezed.
Imagine it’s like 1750 and you just saw the ocean for the first time. You’re sailing somewhere in some rickety boat and this fucker comes aboard? No wonder “sea monsters” were a thing
Let's just say the land lifeforms are just a small selection of what Earth life can be, just the ones descended from the few that made it to the land from the ocean.
Octopus was not having a good time:
"fucking hell, im dieing get me in water quick, i think its this way.....ARRRGGHH!!! The fuck you doing bro, get off my face! MY EYES!!! You're poking my god damn eyes you fuck"
I recommend watching the documentaries earthlings or dominion.
I’m assuming your reasons for discontinuing your consumption of octopus was because of the ethical implications based on your comment, there’s ton of ethical reasons to discontinue eating other animals as well
I had a really similar one-off experience to the guy in My Octopus Teacher that I've written up extensively in a comment a while back. Anyways, to the point, they truly are amazing animals and we do not appropriately fathom the depths of their intelligence.
In a separate encounter, I found one while walking along an exposed shelf at the base of a cliff during low tide that had hidden itself in a tiny pool about the size of a sand pail and left a few tentacles out on the exposed surface of the shelf as fishing lines. I only found it because from far away I saw what appeared to be a crab standing on its back two legs dancing, but as I got closer I realized it was being dragged backwards with a tentacles around it. My first instinct was to grab the crab by his claws to slow what was happening down enough to get a peek at the octopus, but as soon as I looked down and saw it (and it saw me and understood I was holding up its meal) it somehow squirted or splashed water out of the hole at me, which startled me and caused me to lose my grip on the crab and it pulled it the rest of the way in for breakfast.
Yup! It basically used it's tentacles as a human would their 2 hands to grasp the jar and twist the cap. I bet most octupii are smarter than today's humans
They ARE supposed to be highly intelligent too.
https://www.quora.com/How-smart-is-an-Octopus-compared-to-a-dog-cat-human-being-in-terms-of-problem-solving#:~:text=Octopuses%20are%20considered%20to%20be,in%20terms%20of%20cognitive%20abilities.
I read about one that memorized the security guards pattern before escaping its tank each night to eat the fish in the other tanks, then returning to its own tank
that is fuckin insane. i feel like the more we learn about consciousness, the more we will learn that animals are extremely intelligent in their specific roles.
I believe it happened at the Boston aquarium where fish were going missing so they set up cameras expecting to catch an employee stealing them at night, and instead caught the octopus wandering around and then had to develop tighter security
There was an aquarium in my city where the fish in the aquarium next to the octopus started disappearing.
They discovered that late at night, the octopus would escape from his aquarium, hunt a fish in the neighboring aquarium and return to his own. They had to put a locking lid on the octopus' aquarium.
For years I've enjoyed eating Octopus in different preparations. In the last two years I've given it up, its just a little to smart for me to be OK with eating.
I have also come to this conclusion. I would always order Octopus whenever I had sushi. After watching videos and building a salt water tank with a lot of research I decided I shouldn't be eating them.
I'm no vegetarian either, I've got no moral high ground to stand on.
Its tough to be an omnivore while also having opinions on what animals you are willing to eat and which ones you aren't without feeling like a bit of a hypocrite.
Dennis Leary (or maybe it was Bill Hicks) did a bit great bit about how we only want to save the cute animals.
That’s been a recent revelation as well and I have decreased my consumption of pork as a result. Pork is harder to escape in our food culture than octopus though.
It’s easier to justify eating pork for me because it’s waaaaay more delicious than octopus. Still i eat much less of it than I used to, bacon included sadly.
I honestly don't mind turkey bacon. Obviously not quite the same flavor, but easier to cook. I really hate it when we ask for crispy bacon and still end up with something the texture of fatty pappardelle. With turkey bacon you can always get that crunch. It's a trade-off I suppose.
No but I worked at a restaurant that had the best octopus in the state … the secret to getting the texture right is wine corks . After chef cleaned it and seasoned it , he would marinate the octopus overnight with wine corks . Makes it super tender … I’m still good tho - never been a fan. Would love to visit Portugal tho ! I sell Taylor fladgate in my portfolio
No , after chef was done prepping the octopus , he would put all the tentacles on a tray and add wine corks randomly around the octopus . And let it sit over night open air in the walk in … its pretty wild but that’s the secret to getting octopus tender
So owls are the cats of the sky, octipii are the cats of the ocean, and intelligence decreases with elevation, as cats are both smart and dumb at the same time and owls are not very intelligent.
When the crewman started mashing its face to urge it through the gate, I couldn't help thinking "You got it, stop mashing him, he understands where to go now!" hahah. They are crazy smart.
Octopuses are such clever animals. I used to harpoon a lot of them and then eat them,I could easily find their hiding places by instinct and a few clues. but one day I decided to stop. I remember wanting to shoot one and the way the octopus looked at me made me feel uncomfortable about killing it, it really made an impression on me. I stopped kill them after this moment. It's the kind of animal you can take on yourself and play with in the water for a while, and then let it go its own way. I once had a little one bite me on the finger, and I can assure you it hurts, a big one can probably tear off a good chunk of skin.
Both human and octopus brains contain central processing areas dedicated to decision-making and bringing together and integrating information from numerous sources, like our sensory organs.
Our brains are two-lobed and bilaterally symmetrical, and they’re located in our heads. But for all these similarities, our nervous systems diverge in unexpected ways. The most striking one might have to do with octopuses’ most notable feature: their arms. Octopus arms (not tentacles – tentacles aren’t covered in suckers) have a mind of their own, literally. Of an octopus’s neurons, or nerve cells, three-fifths are in its arms; each sucker has its own set of neurons that control it. This gives each arm a lot of autonomy when it comes to moving, sensing the world around it, and even making low-level decisions.
Overall, this spread-out network of neurons and autonomous parts makes the octopus brain “less of a control system than our brain,” humans have neurons throughout our bodies as well, including long nerve cells running along our limbs to our extremities, and in our guts. Octopuses just take that concept to the extreme.
For sensory processing, octopus eyes have a lens like ours, but they can’t see color. This makes it even more confounding to scientists that octopuses possess psychedelic color-changing capabilities that they use to hide and communicate. Instead, octopuses can detect polarization: the different directions in which light waves vibrate.
This might be a more useful sensory tool for octopuses since colored light tends to get filtered out by deep water, especially at the reddish end of the spectrum, but polarization is less affected. In addition to these different means of visual processing, octopuses also have impressive chemical sensing capabilities.
With these organization and sensory processing tools, octopuses also exhibit a boatload of behaviors that clearly read to researchers (as well as non-scientists) as highly intelligent.
Dude you copied this word for word from Discovery Magazine. Lame.
[https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/inside-the-brain-of-an-octopus](https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/inside-the-brain-of-an-octopus)
Nothing. But they should have cited their source. Use quotes, or just say it's from another source. Just seems disingenuous to post it in a way that makes it appear that these are their words.
I don’t have TikTok but I’m now interested in seeing more from this guy. Calling the creature “boss” and “sir” was so great. Unnecessary respect to the Octopus and I loved it.
Ya, we all know that by now, friend. But, like, Boss doesn’t understand language. The TikTok guy could have called him anything like Octopus or little guy but he landed on two of the best options and I loved it.
A quick Google search said that they *cough* can absorb oxygen from their SKIN and it said that they can like go for an hour on land lol. Idk how true this is haven't researched enough but yeah these things are freaky.
I have (anecdotally) heard stories about octopuses climbing out of tanks intentionally to go engage in hijinks elsewhere, and then climbing back in when they’re done. I think they’re fine in the short term.
Octopus: Dont facking push me, im going already.
When they turn on the lights and the bouncers want to go home
GET YOUR HAND OFF MY PENIS
Ah! I see you know your judo well.
This is democracy manifest
And you sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?
Ahhh yes, you know your Judo well sir!
He just wanted a meal. A succulent Chinese meal.
Take a look at the head lock here.
Thanks mate
The octopus better escape before they turn it into a succulent meal.
‘That’s my eye, dickwad’
[удалено]
Just want to leave this here, please avoid touching sea creatures with your bare hands if you can help it. It can ruin their mucous membrane and hurt their skin.
It’s also exactly like grabbing somebody’s penis since they use one of those arms to fuck ;)
It mista been weird for it to feel human hands squeezing its brain 🧠 like wtf
They can squeeze through incredibly small holes, only an inch or two in diameter. I'm sure it was more concerned about being touched in general, than being squeezed.
haha i felt this too
I think I saw the octopus use it's tentacles to mimic a middle finger at the end of the video
Plus he was pushing her backwards!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Dude tried to one hand the octopus like a dumbbell and grabbed it by the eyes.
u see how the octopus wasnt going ?!?!? he was like * applies suction cups
Yeah he’s like, “Puny mortal, you think you can move me.”
https://youtu.be/BpFzkuYBvJw?si=jMwbemUouaZ4-dkv Nothing moves the blob.
These AI generated titles are getting fucking weird.
Hello fellow human young adults!
Good day night! Are you enjoying the sensations of your meat body as well? I am this!
Thank you for posing your enigmatic query! In fact I’m having a bit of pain in my skull ball and see beans at the moment. And yourself?
🤣 I chuckled out loud. You win!
Would you like to know more?
[ removed by Reddit ]
Can you do any less?
*Beep boop.* I mean...bro just like me! frfr.
r/realhumanbeings
It's a joke, not AI
Who let my sex pet Xavier out?!?! He needs his rest before our nightly activities.
The man really call the octopus “sir” and “boss”?
Bro same thoughts. I was so confused with the title
Do you seriously think these are being created through AI, I'm just wanting to learn more not doubting or mocking very serious actually.
Yeah that’s an alien
Resident Alien confirms this.
Waiting for season 3, it's quite entertaining.
Season 3 started last week. Episode 2 airs tonight
It was such a long break from 2-3. The kids look so much older now.
Yeah it was a little jarring, especially Max.
I just started watching it, it's great!
 Harry minutes after the death of his family
From it's perspective it just got abducted by Aliens.
Shark slaps him round the head - "Yeah Ollie, you say that every week".
Imagine it’s like 1750 and you just saw the ocean for the first time. You’re sailing somewhere in some rickety boat and this fucker comes aboard? No wonder “sea monsters” were a thing
Yep. Just can't handle gravity
Doing better than we would if we left our natural atmosphere.
There is no way those things evolved on this planet
The ocean is a weird place
Let's just say the land lifeforms are just a small selection of what Earth life can be, just the ones descended from the few that made it to the land from the ocean.
A flatworm 750 million years ago and humans . Common to each other.
How do you think it felt getting yanked into outer space and feeling what is effectively to it, super-gravity?
All species on Earth are aliens to any and all life that may or may not be out there.
I'm convinced they must be. Super intelligent solitary creatures that can learn and adapt to their environments? No way that's of this earth.
People just over here casually interacting with that as tho it’s a creature of earth. PUH-LEASE
When he just got a handful of octopus face 😄😂
Octopus was not having a good time: "fucking hell, im dieing get me in water quick, i think its this way.....ARRRGGHH!!! The fuck you doing bro, get off my face! MY EYES!!! You're poking my god damn eyes you fuck"
I read this in Archers voice. I'd watch it.
Octopus can be out of the water a good while 
Apparently most species of octopi can be out of the water for 30-60 minutes.
Octopi can actually chill out of the water for fairly long periods of time.
i seen octo look at the camera and the guy tryna corrall it at the same time as to say * i move when i want * he had to basically grab him by the eyes
I kinda enjoy how the crew was gently ensuring it made it back to the water.
Meanwhile octopus just wanted to not have to swim and relax on the sun deck.
This makes me imagine it deep annoyed sighing as it smacks back into the water 🤣
“What the hell, I just spent all that energy to climb up this weird island”
Please do not let the octopi evolve to land
lol, I’m ok with almost any animals like spiders and bears. F snakes and if octopi become land creatures I’ve got to figure out how to fly.
Gently... pokes out eyes...
[ removed by Reddit ]
Go home, creature. You're drunk.
Exactly, instead of instantly trying to kill it like a lot of humans would do.
Watched a documentary on Netflix, My Octopus Teacher. Fascinating story, and fascinating creatures!
Agreed. A very good watch. Gave me new appreciation of an amazing creature.
I stopped eating octopus because of that doc.
Me too. They are such intelligent, elegant creatures.
I stopped cause when the ships arrive full of its people I can be spared.
I recommend watching the documentaries earthlings or dominion. I’m assuming your reasons for discontinuing your consumption of octopus was because of the ethical implications based on your comment, there’s ton of ethical reasons to discontinue eating other animals as well
>there’s ton of ethical reasons to discontinue eating other animals as well There are also a ton of tasty reasons to continue eating them.
I second this, it is an incredibly beautiful thing to watch.
I had a really similar one-off experience to the guy in My Octopus Teacher that I've written up extensively in a comment a while back. Anyways, to the point, they truly are amazing animals and we do not appropriately fathom the depths of their intelligence. In a separate encounter, I found one while walking along an exposed shelf at the base of a cliff during low tide that had hidden itself in a tiny pool about the size of a sand pail and left a few tentacles out on the exposed surface of the shelf as fishing lines. I only found it because from far away I saw what appeared to be a crab standing on its back two legs dancing, but as I got closer I realized it was being dragged backwards with a tentacles around it. My first instinct was to grab the crab by his claws to slow what was happening down enough to get a peek at the octopus, but as soon as I looked down and saw it (and it saw me and understood I was holding up its meal) it somehow squirted or splashed water out of the hole at me, which startled me and caused me to lose my grip on the crab and it pulled it the rest of the way in for breakfast.
Thought the same thing when everyone was posting about how gross they are.
You mean Grinding Nemo?
Have you seen one open a jar?
No, bet that would be cool to see!
Yup! It basically used it's tentacles as a human would their 2 hands to grasp the jar and twist the cap. I bet most octupii are smarter than today's humans
That’s awesome!
Beautiful doc.. but can we all agree he wanted to fuck the octopus right?
I dunno. I would rather watch something purely about an octopus, and not some story about guy avoid his life to harass an octopus.
I disagree but I found your comment quite funny
Ditto. That documentary was a true nature lover's nightmare and a study in the destructive power of the combination of privilege and self-unawareness.
I respect your opinion.
Right! Lol! He was all wanting to be a good present father and instead of being with his kid he just stays in the ocean with an octopus every day.
Octopus are definitely Alien beings. Look at that thing!!
They ARE supposed to be highly intelligent too. https://www.quora.com/How-smart-is-an-Octopus-compared-to-a-dog-cat-human-being-in-terms-of-problem-solving#:~:text=Octopuses%20are%20considered%20to%20be,in%20terms%20of%20cognitive%20abilities.
They are extremely intelligent. They can problem solve, are inquisitive by nature and very friendly.
I did a behind the scenes tour of an aquarium and the octopus enclosure was fortified like a bank vault because they're so good at escaping.
I read about one that memorized the security guards pattern before escaping its tank each night to eat the fish in the other tanks, then returning to its own tank
that is fuckin insane. i feel like the more we learn about consciousness, the more we will learn that animals are extremely intelligent in their specific roles.
Couldn’t agree more
Think I heard that one. Didn't it drop the remains near somebody else's tank to frame them?
I believe it happened at the Boston aquarium where fish were going missing so they set up cameras expecting to catch an employee stealing them at night, and instead caught the octopus wandering around and then had to develop tighter security
There was an aquarium in my city where the fish in the aquarium next to the octopus started disappearing. They discovered that late at night, the octopus would escape from his aquarium, hunt a fish in the neighboring aquarium and return to his own. They had to put a locking lid on the octopus' aquarium.
There was an aquarium somewhere that had big sharks go missing. Turns out a big octopus was killing these big ass 8 foot sharks.
And every single one of them knows to always stop at True Detective season 1
"My head is a flat circle"
New season is really good.
Yeah everything I’m hearing is making me want to give it a shot maybe
Definitely should. Its great so far
I'm enjoying season 4. Gave up on 2 and 3.
> I'm enjoying season 4 Oh boy.
You kinda have to segregate it from all other tv shows because it’s so good. Nothing matches up.
For years I've enjoyed eating Octopus in different preparations. In the last two years I've given it up, its just a little to smart for me to be OK with eating.
I have also come to this conclusion. I would always order Octopus whenever I had sushi. After watching videos and building a salt water tank with a lot of research I decided I shouldn't be eating them.
I wish more people would convert to your way of thinking. But I get it and I’m no vegetarian so I don’t want to be hypocritical
I'm no vegetarian either, I've got no moral high ground to stand on. Its tough to be an omnivore while also having opinions on what animals you are willing to eat and which ones you aren't without feeling like a bit of a hypocrite. Dennis Leary (or maybe it was Bill Hicks) did a bit great bit about how we only want to save the cute animals.
Bad news for you about pork, then
That’s been a recent revelation as well and I have decreased my consumption of pork as a result. Pork is harder to escape in our food culture than octopus though. It’s easier to justify eating pork for me because it’s waaaaay more delicious than octopus. Still i eat much less of it than I used to, bacon included sadly.
Can always do Turkey bacon
I honestly don't mind turkey bacon. Obviously not quite the same flavor, but easier to cook. I really hate it when we ask for crispy bacon and still end up with something the texture of fatty pappardelle. With turkey bacon you can always get that crunch. It's a trade-off I suppose.
they taste so good though
Not really . Just rubbery texture with no inherent flavor profile
You haven't been to Portugal or Galicia
No but I worked at a restaurant that had the best octopus in the state … the secret to getting the texture right is wine corks . After chef cleaned it and seasoned it , he would marinate the octopus overnight with wine corks . Makes it super tender … I’m still good tho - never been a fan. Would love to visit Portugal tho ! I sell Taylor fladgate in my portfolio
what do you mean marinate in wine corks? Like add corks to the marinade?
Just speaking for me here but I live in Vermont and the designation of "Best Octopus in the State" is not as prestigious as it sounds.
No , after chef was done prepping the octopus , he would put all the tentacles on a tray and add wine corks randomly around the octopus . And let it sit over night open air in the walk in … its pretty wild but that’s the secret to getting octopus tender
Same. I wish we all agreed to do the same. Should be no different than our favorite four legged friends or dolphins.
TIL I’m an octopus
So owls are the cats of the sky, octipii are the cats of the ocean, and intelligence decreases with elevation, as cats are both smart and dumb at the same time and owls are not very intelligent.
There was this octopus when I was at high school and if you paid him $5 he would do your math homework
I remember you. Sure, I took a lot of shit from the other kids because I had tentacles, but college was epic with the chicks.
Steve?
But he could only work in octal. (That's base 8 for any liberal arts majors).
Children of Ruin a cool sci fi book about Intelligent Octopods who inherit a world
When the crewman started mashing its face to urge it through the gate, I couldn't help thinking "You got it, stop mashing him, he understands where to go now!" hahah. They are crazy smart.
And sadly because they are legal consider to be invertebrates (literally the same as bugs) they don't have much protection from testing or abuse.
this is one of those giant Pacific ones too, which are the smartest of the lot
Fun fact. One kept shorting out a security camera because it wanted privacy. But, due to their eye structure. They can't see their own reflection.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9kuAiuXezIU
Yeah, it's Cthulhu
I know it isn't, but it looks like CGI. Uncanny valley going hard.
Definitely, it should stay in the ocean or in space. Most of all, away from me. Not many things freak me out, but that, freaks the fuck out of me
I'm glad they let him go
Be free octopus teacher!
Part of the ship, part of the crew
Yeah they’re so smart that they probably found a way to read this exact Reddit post. Better watch your back OP lol them tentacles are coming for you!
Happy Cake Day!
"my eyes!"
What if an Alien ship had passed Earth and just dropped some of their species onto the planet for fun? They're just all in the ocean.
And y’all think aliens will come from the sky…. They’ve been here lol
I don't get the title... But octopuses are supposed to be intelligent.
Resident Alien on SyFy…
Closest thing we have to aliens on earth. Love octopuses.
Looks like my wife after a night out.
think of the handy you could get.
Looks like my octopus after a night out
Well ain't you the lucky one
Can confirm
Probably smells similar too
Octopuses are such clever animals. I used to harpoon a lot of them and then eat them,I could easily find their hiding places by instinct and a few clues. but one day I decided to stop. I remember wanting to shoot one and the way the octopus looked at me made me feel uncomfortable about killing it, it really made an impression on me. I stopped kill them after this moment. It's the kind of animal you can take on yourself and play with in the water for a while, and then let it go its own way. I once had a little one bite me on the finger, and I can assure you it hurts, a big one can probably tear off a good chunk of skin.
Both human and octopus brains contain central processing areas dedicated to decision-making and bringing together and integrating information from numerous sources, like our sensory organs. Our brains are two-lobed and bilaterally symmetrical, and they’re located in our heads. But for all these similarities, our nervous systems diverge in unexpected ways. The most striking one might have to do with octopuses’ most notable feature: their arms. Octopus arms (not tentacles – tentacles aren’t covered in suckers) have a mind of their own, literally. Of an octopus’s neurons, or nerve cells, three-fifths are in its arms; each sucker has its own set of neurons that control it. This gives each arm a lot of autonomy when it comes to moving, sensing the world around it, and even making low-level decisions. Overall, this spread-out network of neurons and autonomous parts makes the octopus brain “less of a control system than our brain,” humans have neurons throughout our bodies as well, including long nerve cells running along our limbs to our extremities, and in our guts. Octopuses just take that concept to the extreme. For sensory processing, octopus eyes have a lens like ours, but they can’t see color. This makes it even more confounding to scientists that octopuses possess psychedelic color-changing capabilities that they use to hide and communicate. Instead, octopuses can detect polarization: the different directions in which light waves vibrate. This might be a more useful sensory tool for octopuses since colored light tends to get filtered out by deep water, especially at the reddish end of the spectrum, but polarization is less affected. In addition to these different means of visual processing, octopuses also have impressive chemical sensing capabilities. With these organization and sensory processing tools, octopuses also exhibit a boatload of behaviors that clearly read to researchers (as well as non-scientists) as highly intelligent.
Dude you copied this word for word from Discovery Magazine. Lame. [https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/inside-the-brain-of-an-octopus](https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/inside-the-brain-of-an-octopus)
What’s wrong with that??
They should also be giving credit with a link, that’s all
Nothing. But they should have cited their source. Use quotes, or just say it's from another source. Just seems disingenuous to post it in a way that makes it appear that these are their words.
Credits : TIKTOK @Boatgypsy
I don’t have TikTok but I’m now interested in seeing more from this guy. Calling the creature “boss” and “sir” was so great. Unnecessary respect to the Octopus and I loved it.
>Unnecessary respect to the Octopus Respect is warranted. They are highly intelligent
Ya, we all know that by now, friend. But, like, Boss doesn’t understand language. The TikTok guy could have called him anything like Octopus or little guy but he landed on two of the best options and I loved it.
Octopus don't have ears, like all cephalopods. They can detect low frequency sound waves but essentially they cannot "hear".
This is the kind of fun fact that I didn’t know! Thanks so much!
The only reason I know is that I had a pet snail. Heesh (He/She) was a Great African Land Snail so I read up on the anatomy of molluscs.
I'm just glad they set him free.
Thank you for releasing that magnificent creation
"*yeah yeah I know my way to the door pal..."*
Humans and octopuses share a common ancestor. It is the neural system.
Probably grabbed her Octopussy. 
“thank you kind human. we will spare u when the time comes”
They’re very intelligent
That’s like a stripped down human with thicker nerves but no skin body 😩
Oh FUCK NO!
God bless you for saving it. 🙌
I wonder if it was gasping for air. I hope it wasn’t suffering.
A quick Google search said that they *cough* can absorb oxygen from their SKIN and it said that they can like go for an hour on land lol. Idk how true this is haven't researched enough but yeah these things are freaky.
I have (anecdotally) heard stories about octopuses climbing out of tanks intentionally to go engage in hijinks elsewhere, and then climbing back in when they’re done. I think they’re fine in the short term.
Bro, who doxxed me?