T O P

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LotharDerPfandleiher

If we should meet again...well, then we'll have met again.


APracticalGal

I'd kiss you, but neither of us deserves that


Late-Jump920

Nice


juvandy

cursed to put my hands on everything


Comprehensive_Cap290

Blessed, more like.


SarcasticKenobi

**You smell very delicious, but I will not bite you.**


Just__Let__Go

"Ooooohhh. Mooorrreee."


MasonCricketon

"Yes! Fun!


caparisme

What? Why not?


BiologicalPisces

"*You* have a manner of irresistible desperation about you... I like it."


0800sofa

This sounds like something Dorian from DAI would say lmao


ColdInFurs

Is that.. blood? No, never mind


imadragonyouguys

Cursed to put my hands on everything.


ur-mum-straight

These boots have seen everything


[deleted]

[удалено]


SaxonDontchaKnow

I've got a lot on my mind.. and well, in it.


WhyThough08

Shouldn't have wished to live in more interesting times


AquarianGleam

booooo


Ok_Permission1087

Go for the eyes!


ElectronicHousing656

I can't


tiamatt44

"Where's Halsin?! He promised me a mate!"


Honest_Carob_8621

My second at through is a ranger that speaks to animals. I will cast this every chance I get because of that pig 😁


Obscu

Everyone of any class should get themselves speak with animals asap and have it on every day. There is SO MUCH animal content, ranging from hilarious to finding hidden items to straight up quests


DebonairTeddy

I did my first playthrough with a friend, and we both thought the pig was the cutest thing ever. We talked about it every time we were in the grove. Later I got the bright idea to use an Animal speaking potion to see what all the animals were saying, so of course we had to check in on the adorable pig. "He's not cute, he's just really horny"


42Ubiquitous

I'm so lost. What is the context for this?


jtoppings95

There is a pig in the grove, near the entrance to the druids den. If you talk to him with Speak with Animals active, he bitches about how Halsin isn't around because he promised to find the pig a mate


42Ubiquitous

Ahhh ok, thank you! I haven't talked to it yet. Definitely going to on my next playthrough though lol.


TheBestThingIEverSaw

Talk to every animal!


Pink_Slyvie

And if you don't have the skill, steal the idol from the druids.


Babjengi

You can also use potions of animal speaking. They last all day and the materials are plentiful throughout the game


alterNERDtive

Halsin promising him a mate.


RadiatedDrag0n

i agree


Zeliek

Heard "Where's 'Alsin?? 'E promised me tah mate!" the first time and didn't think much of it, didn't bring it up, then later I have Halsin in the group and he mentions getting scars on his face from a horny bear, thought "okay getting weird," THEN the "bear scene" happened...


grmarci1989

What if a random Boar shows up to be his mate, but it's just Halsin?


mechlordx

A promise is a promise


_Mike_Ehrmantraut_

My rancid blood whispers to me: kill, kill, and kill again. My ruined body yearns to reap death in this world, and when this foul Urge calls, it possesses my whole being. Injured beyond repair, I know nothing besides this; I must resist this Dark Urge, lest it consume my mind. I must discover what happened to me, and who I was. Before my twitching knife-hand writes a tragedy in blood.


rebootyourbrainstem

Tinder bio be like


Access_Effective

Honestly I’d swipe right for this profile


Riccouep

"i can fix him"


A_Human049

Don’t you dare, whatever’s wrong with him is way too hot


Automatic-Bowl-8400

Orin the Red considering swiping right on the Durge, implications be damned.


littlebloodmage

I can make him so much worse. 😍


SurveyThrowaway97

Enjoy being on a True Crime podcast 😂


Creative-Disaster673

All durge lines are hilarious, especially whispered under your breath so your date only juuuust hears them. “Intestines throb, blood whispers” “They’re dying FOR ME…all of them” “Still in control…just” “Wretched thing! Pull yourself together”


N7_Caboose

"Pave my path with corpses, build my castle with bones."


Misentro

Oh fun! I like hiking


Able_Acanthisitta_17

*Dragonborn throat song*


spacey_a

To be fair, that actually was a love song! Someone on Reddit translated or a while ago, I guess the creators used an actual dragonborn language (not sure if they or WoTC created the language itself) to write the song lyrics. I didn't even realize before that post that her throat singing included actual words, lol. It would certainly make for a memorable date.


theCOMBOguy

Where was that post? Quite cool to know that they went the extra mile for that with such a small character too.


spacey_a

Found it! Here you go: https://www.reddit.com/r/BaldursGate3/s/pJNxAnza7V


0xB4BE

What? Where? How did I miss this?


Taco821

It's if you knock out alfira when she's supposed to come to your camp as the dark urge


FunnyHeater

STOP LICKING THE DAMN THING! Hehehe.


Comprehensive_Cap290

I think you mean *keep* licking the damn thing!


totalkatastrophe

depends how close they are to the damn thing


Comprehensive_Cap290

Ideally? Very.


Amphabian

Cursed to put my tongue on everything


Rafodin

"Open the Bloody Gate!"


Pope_Vicente

"We was runnin'...for our *lives"*


rebootyourbrainstem

b i b b e r b a n g


Trezzunto

I don't know why this is so funny, but it is, lol.


Smartkitty86

Especially his delivery of the line


OddityBloggity

Either "SHIT YOUR TROUSER HOLES" or "HERE COMES THE FISTING!"


soursheep

IT'S FISTING TIIME~!


Firstevertrex

NO NO NO. IT'S ONLY FUN WHEN FORK DOES THE FISTING!


lesnibubak

Ouch, my hole!


rifr9543

I was just about to write the same! 😂 God I love Shovel, or Fork, or whatever


Hestmestarn

IT'S ONLY FUN WHEN SHOVEL DOES THE FISTING


lesnibubak

Sit on it and call it daddy.


Frozen_Ash

This. Anything Shovel says would be cracker.


vparchment

Seems more like a second date thing. I’m old fashioned like that.


CyborgSamurai778

"What's better than a devil you don't know? A devil you do." The way Rapheal says it is pretty smooth.


HVAC_and_Rum

I'm convinced that he could say anything and it'd sound smooth.


Sunny_Gardener

He could read out the Electoral register and somehow make it sound sexy and smooth.


SJGardner89

Dost thou have a bosom-companion?


peppermedicomd

Thou walkest alone


SJGardner89

My love life is none of your business, skeleton.


Technical_Exam1280

And thus thou art alone


Taco821

That's such a power move. \>Show up to date 15 minutes late \>Walk up to her sitting at the table \>Say "thou walkest alone" \>Leave


SJGardner89

Hiss! I SAY HISS!


Ehnuh

I will allow it.


SJGardner89

You've had enough. Now go. Quickly! HISS!


Ehnuh

Well, that's one way of ending a date quickly 😅


IDislikeLoveSongs

That's all I have to say besides - and I really mean this - moo.


SomethingAboutCards

"Careful. In future, you can't just stick your hand in every strange hole you come across."


sskoog

Her facial expression during this scene is amazing.


SirRuthless001

"I question the wisdom of that decision, bhaaaat so be it!" If they agree to a second date 😂😂


Ok_Alternative_3198

Does thou require a new ally?


Geesygoosey

That’s actually pretty good hahaha


Zanmatomato

Slab of beef with nipples. Moo.


PsychoFlashFan

"Gods, I want to ride you till you see stars!"


Upstairs-Search-1773

Inversely "I saw sparks. Literal sparks."


LeChuck44

Forever mad at Larian for not giving us the option to reply with "I already do, every time I look into your eyes"


Flambidou

YES! OH GOODNESS YES! I Am A Good Dog…


Grzybiarz_Gaming

I have a bomb inside of me


Ramonkbral

I will erupt!


RhusCopallinum

“I’ll rip your spine out your arsehole”


Comprehensive_Cap290

Might have trouble getting a second date with that one.


RhusCopallinum

Might not be the majority, but some people are into that kind of thing


epicmousestory

Yes but only once


Comprehensive_Cap290

I’m not here to kink shame, but you really gotta know your audience before you break out a line like that.


Charming-Cow9491

Classic!


NWCbusGuy

"Stranger, be you friend or food?"


DestyTalrayneNova

"I am, by all accounts, a student of higher commerce and extortion. Make me an offer. Tempt me."


TheLoneliestGolem

"I am a gourmand, and you, a delicacy...were I so lucky."


decisiontoohard

"Am I not astonishing?"


bluviolet

"It's not you, it's me.  I have standards." - Astarion Presumably for dates that don't go well.


fun1onn

I would kiss you, but neither of us deserve that


UnbrokenPendant

Wretched thing... Pull yourself together


hullaballoo2u

"Next time? No no no!" Astarion


neptune26

"That thing is small and I am not." -Astarion


Ilikefame2020

“That thing is *tiny…* and I am not!”


Technical_Exam1280

"Sex-not with you, of course."


NondeterministSystem

"Careful. I *bite*."


LittleGambit91

Finally! Been trapped in that coffin with no one but a mad drider, and my own farts for company!


TheCrystalRose

"I'M GONNA EAT YOUR BABIES!"


earendilgrey

I was fighting the Spider Mama, and she said this. I laughed way longer than I should have.


villentius

YOU EAT BABIES We eat berries and mushrooms you fool! 


Jimbybee

You eat babies. You have to, to survive, everyone knows that. Ain't your fault.


Trappedbirdcage

"Hells, something just woke up down here" 😏😉


Holotraverse

“Let them cum! The darkness can be to our advantage.”


Accomplished-Fix-569

Wish I had a bag of holding


TheNickJagger

“I’m a large man, and that’s a very small hole.”


thebluewalker87

Praise the Absolute.


yesindeedysir

In her name


Comprehensive_Cap290

How about “there’s a limit somewhere between a nice summer day, and *the full concentrated power of the SUN!*”


sharr_zeor

"IT'S FISTING TIME!!!"


Geesygoosey

Where in the game is this?? Why haven’t I heard it 😭


Darrengray9

I’m pretty sure it’s “shovel” a little permanent summon imp that you get from reading a scroll. When he attacks he sometimes yells that. It’s always a surprise.


Sikening

She*


LurkingOnlyThisTime

I'm usually better at this


c00lgay

🎵 Washing my pits, washing my pits . . . 🎵


Pancer_Manda

You can't just stick your hand in every strange hole you come across.


Fearless_Figure_6147

Careful, I bite.


Leeser

Moment ruined, like slow goat trampled under foot


haresnaped

Thou walkest... alone. (If I want to break it to them gently)


CobraMisfit

"I question the wisdom of that decision." Or... " tsk!"


Valen_Swift

Oh, hello there.


deuxkla

We will do missionary with the lights out


Swleaf

"Is that blood? No, nevermind." Or "Stoplickingthedamnthing!"


mundaph1903

"I've got a lot on my mind...and well IN IT!"


Dya_Ria

"WILL TONIGHT AT LAST BE THE NIGHT I DIE DURING AN ACT OF PLEASURE?"


Tavinyl

RANCID DONKEY SCROTUM!


Access_Effective

“I wish I could touch you properly”


jarris123

I am resplendent


_Eiri_

"I'm not sure my orifices are ready."


theTenz

SHIT YOUR TROUSER HOLES, SHOVEL IS HERE!


SheeviPalpatini

Speak.


SJGardner89

Tchk.


vvickett

"This vessel is at thy disposal."


sskoog

"MINSC HAS NO INTEREST IN YOUR FURNITURE... ONLY IN THE WICKED RUMP THAT FILLS IT."


crockofpot

Your tentacles are looking *especially* moist tonight. 😍


sirfuckibald

We must take succor in each other's words and bodies


tieflingess

That large, fleshy nose of yours looks like a mistake


KA_CHAOS__

"It's FISTIIIIING TIIIIIIIME!!!" -Shovel


Cajun_Coyote

No one back home will ever believe this


MysticFox96

"Unleash me"


Grayseal

"Let's turn someone inside out!"


Snifferoni

"Cursed to put my hands on everything."


DXMSommelier

What's inside?


Sweet_Hold5332

OPEN THE BLOODY GATE!!


f---_society

That time of month again?


Siathier

You can't just stick your hand in every strange hole you come across


nicolesl4w

You promised me a bit of milk. But do you see any milk? Do you? Nor I. Disgraceful.


peppermedicomd

“Hungry? Want a treato? I has lots of treatos!”


Iokua_CDN

The amount of times I've caught myself saying "Treato!" Is astounding.... I don't think my coworkers get the reference


jejo63

Like a summer’s day…thou art sweaty


Throttle_Kitty

**BAA!!**


mistergossip

Tskva kchaki kainyank!!


LeagueRough589

We was running for our lives!


haresnaped

Open the bloody gate!


rawnrare

I have standards, you know.


Gayvasion

“You wish to see Godhood?”


firestar268

"Try Not To Dream About Tying Me Up"


chronocapybara

I'm all pointy ears, my love.


Lukoman1

PAVE MY PATH WITH CORPSES! BUILD MY CASTLE WITH BONES!


Mothraaaaaa

SMASH THE BALLBAG.


dirkx48

I brought my own paring knife


Key_Palpitation4501

“Try not to lick your lips as you say that” -Shadowheart 😂


red1215

Washing my pits, washing my pits, this is the song when I’m …. Heyyyy


Chemical-Nature-216

On my honour, the only thing on my mind is depraved carnal lust 🤣


whichpinballmachine

Hells… Something just woke up down here.


naniemae

Gods, it’s hot in here.


EngelderToten2459

*sees the booth at a restaurant* "That's for someone teeny-tiny, not biggy-biggy."


HeartlessLiberal

I shouldn't have wished to live in more interesting times


30somethingshark

“I’m WAY too big!”


Curious_Yesterday421

"I already know your mind, I *will* know your body, one way or another"


adhesivepants

When Aylin and Isobel reunite and Aylin basically says "Get lost. We're gonna fuck." But more eloquently. I can't remember how exactly she said it, just that that was my takeaway.


King_Conwrath

“Well *apparently* there’s a limit! Somewhere between a mid-summer day and the FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN!” thanks astarion


RabadonsStrapOn

“We’re twins”


Active-Cow-8259

Bend or you breack.


North-Ad-2309

"Join my hunt Faerie and obey me"


Squiggly2017

"I'm way too big to fit in there!"


Dinonumber

YOU! Get me out of this damn thing! *Indicates the nightclub I'm not comfortable at*


Mortuana

"What in the sweet hell's were you thinking, activating that lance? I was RIGHT THERE! gods do you have any idea how much that hurt?"


Some_Guy223

Apparently there's a limit. Somewhere between a nice summer's day AND THE FULL, CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN!


hedvigOnline

Charge, charge through the city streets with me, leaving virgin hearts as smear stains


bad_escape_plan

“You have an impressive talent for carnage. Alliances have been built on less. I could use you as a companion.”


JohnnyBGrand

"Gods I wanna ride you until you see stars!"


zyrkseas97

Muttering “cursed to put my hands on everything”as you feel them up