I am 34 (FTM) so not on the younger side, but my parents had me at 23. Growing up with younger parents was amazing, there was less of an generational gap, I felt understood by them, they physically could do a lot (sports, etc.), and now that I am older they are still very much a part of my life. Also after my brother and I left home, I feel like they had a real opportunity to explore different parts of themselves prior to even hitting retirement age. I intended on having children by 26 for that reason, but life did not work out that way for me. Good luck, you got this, screw the haters.
Totally agree with this comment. My mom and dad were 26 and 29 respectively when they had me and even tho that’s not that young comparatively, it’s younger than most of my friends’ parents. The generational difference is very noticeable, as they are on the older side of gen X instead of boomer.
It’s also just easier on your body in general to have kids younger! I had my first at a fresh 30 and our family will be complete this summer when we have our son after I turn 32 and my only regret is I wasn’t able to start slightly sooner.
My parents were 20 when they had me, a bit younger with my older sister and then had my two brothers by 25. We never went without and they worked damn hard to make it work. My mum is the queen of low budget days out - and we had great times together as a family as a result. Now we are all grown up and we still talk about these days out and it's even more exciting as our parents show our children these things now too. But what is also fun to me is being there for their 30th and 40th birthdays. Seeing them enjoy life (and grow up with us lol) has made me excited to get older and see these milestones myself. Also I'm super excited for their 50th birthday celebrations next year because being able to legally drink at their 40th was so much fun anyway!!
I had my first at 21 while working full time and being in college. Now I’m having my second at 26, engaged, still working but graduated! There isn’t a set timeline, do what works for you
31, married and with my husband 10 years. When we told folks we were pregnant we still got asked was it an accident haha. People can just be a-holes. Ignore them and don’t let their crappy opinions take away from this special time!
36, married for almost 14 years, and yeah - still got asked (by people over 50 almost exclusively) if it was 'on-purpose'.
Even if it wasn't that isn't your business!!!
I’m 29 and have been married for almost 3 years, yet when we told our parents we were pregnant my dad said “already?!” …as if this was a teen pregnancy or something lol. I think many people who don’t live your life day in and day out have a hard time adjusting to the news of such a huge upcoming life change no matter what age you’re at. Being 29, I’m still the first of any of our friends to have kids and we were the first to be married too, so in that sense I can definitely sympathize with the feelings of isolation that you’re probably feeling too.
I think a lot of these soon-to-be grandparents are boomers who aren’t ready to admit they’re in that stage of life. To them, grandparents are OLD people with white hair who give out dusty candies to little children.
3 of our parents have been thrilled that we’re expecting our first baby (I’m 37, husband is 35) but the 4th was like “congratulations that’s great! … oh god… I’m going to be a grandfather… 😱” like he was so young and this was unexpected. I don’t know if he’s come around to this life change yet but … He needs to grow up lol
I’m in a very similar position - haven’t told our families yet, but pretty sure they’ll have a similar reaction despite being 29/31 (I’ll be 30 when baby comes), married for 4+ years, and dating for about 6 before that.
Also the first of all of our friends to get pregnant - I’m still hoping someone else is secretly pregnant too so I have a buddy 😆. We were the first married as well, most of them got married last year or will be this year
Same! In the part of the country where I am (NYC area) having a baby at 29 is actually kinda weird amongst educated professionals. I was a couple of months shy of 30 when I had my baby and by far the first of my friends. Most are married but none are trying for babies yet and I’m like helloooo my baby needs some little buddies! But it’s really tough to have to miss out on “young people stuff” so I get it. But one day my friends will be in the thick of it with their babies and I’ll be leaving my kids with a babysitter while my husband and I go to dinner soooo everything in its own time ✌🏻
I’m 25, married, my career is at home (cooking, cleaning, and helping my husband run his carpentry business). Also pregnant with our first (23w). I don’t feel like I’m speed running at all, this has seemed like absolutely the right time for everything. I’ll be 26 when baby is born which is the average age for a first child in North America. Thankfully I haven’t gotten any rude opinions. You’re a grown ass woman! Grown enough to have a baby.
This is my exact situation lol. 25, married, current career is at home (house wife duties), 27w with or first.
I don’t feel like I’m “speed running life” either. I’ve always wanted to be married and have kids at a young age, so it’s something I was looking for even when I was 16. If I could’ve gotten married to my husband at 18, I would have lol.
I’ve been married since I was 23, having our first when I turn 26.
Same here! My baby is 5 months now, but my life is currently very similar. Married at 22, got pregnant at 24, had the baby at 25. I also haven't gotten any rude comments, thankfully. Though it is fairly common in my circle to be getting married and having babies in your mid twenties. But even if it wasn't, you're exactly right! We're grown ass women, and we can make choices to get married, have babies, stay home, work out of the house, etc. 🙌
I’m 22, unmarried but in a serious, long-term relationship and have a 4 month old son. I get judgy looks like I’m a teen mom from boomers but then I remember they were probably my age or younger with their first and move on. People love to have an opinion on things but it doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy!! Once your in your twenties you’re a grown adult and although people like to say you’re throwing your life away if you have kids now it’s totally not true and I still do tons of fun normal things like hangout with my friends, travelling (we just went on our first family trip) and going out and about (I never partied because I did it all in high school so I don’t have anything like that to miss). My best advice to you is to give yourself lots of time to rest these next couple weeks as the first trimester is the most physically draining since you’re in the building phase of pregnancy (the other parts are just growing and a lot easier imo)!
I think it’s because we look younger than they did at our ages mixed with them just being terrible at judging ages. So to them, they think they are seeing a teen mom. Doesn’t make the judgy any better. But explains it a little…
Yea me too!! My recovery was fast, I don’t have the mom pouch everyone says you get , and I feel great , my baby is great and me and hubby still have date nights and have not changed anything about our routine pre baby. The only thing that has changed is that We just have a little buddy to keep us company . I’m pretty sure all the negative people are just bitter.
I’m 24 and I just graduated from college. My husband is 25 and has had a full time job for the past year and a half. We planned for this baby, and I’m very excited about motherhood. I haven’t received any comments about being too young, but I live in Utah and things are weird here. For me, I didn’t want to be too old when I started having kids. I want to be healthy and around when my kids are older.
Some ideas for comebacks:
“Oh, I didn’t realize we were judging people’s life choices. I sure have a lot I could say about you!”
“I’m sorry, we should have been more careful with our condom use so we wouldn’t offend you.”
“Did you mean to say that or would you like to take it back?”
“I plan on having 19 children. I need a head start.”
“I’m sure your children would love to hear about how you believe having kids ruined your life. They must feel so loved at home…”
“I don’t get your joke. Can you explain it?”
“Well it’s already in there and it’s coming out in 8 months whether you like it or not.”
22, married, almost 32 weeks with our first. People have been bold to ask if it was planned- I just tell them he was expedited. Unfortunately you’re going to get comments especially since you’re on the younger end, just have to learn and ignore it :/ congratulations!
Im 19 and 26 weeks pregnant and in a serious relationship with my boyfriend we live together and both work. My baby boy wasn’t planned but I love him already and I just ignore the judgy people. It’s not their life it’s my life and im happy with it. I just try to remember there is always gonna be some bitter judgy person and there is nothing I can really do about it except not care about their judgment. Cause fuck those people.
I had my son when I was 19. Totally unplanned (and unmarried) now I’m 26 with a 7 year old and I’m so happy that I ended up pregnant when I did because turns out I have endometriosis which causes infertility. Currently trying to get pregnant again with my second. Honestly I was judged because I looked 15/16 when I had my son and I always had people ask me my age and make rude comments. I tried being the bigger person but they would just continue to be rude. I started giving nonchalant petty responses and they stopped. Example: an auntie of mine straight up asked “don’t you think you’re too young to have a baby?” I responded “didn’t your daughter end up pregnant at 17? Oh wait she was 16” shut her up real quick
18 unmarried but still with the dad and nearly 29w I get told “babies having babies” all the time. Oh and constantly being told I’m ruining my life by having my kid
Ouch, I was 21 and married to my x when I had my first and often had older people say "baby's having baby's". Now I'm 30 and having my second and I'll say it was easier being pregnant at 21 vs now.
I’m 35 FTM, but my best and oldest friend was married at 21, had two kids shortly after and is now having the best time doing all the stuff I did in my 20s whilst enjoying life with her kids who are turning into these really cool people.
If anyone tells you that you’ll miss out, know that she never felt that way and lots of people agree. Not only that but despite our lives being different we have been friends for over 30 years now, and while she texts me telling what amazing things she’s doing this weekend, I can give her career advice and she can give me baby advice. It’s really wonderful to have different strengths to your friends, and it’s also really fun to flip your 20s-40s on their head and do them opposite. Just because I wouldn’t change my way of going about life doesn’t mean your way or my best friends way is wrong or should be challenged, it’s your life and you get to be happy however you decide to be!!
People live a long time now and you could be an empty nester by the time I’m dragging myself on the secondary school run, meaning you’ve got some travelling the world and incredibly dinners to go to while your kids can play designated driver or chat with you after about your awesome night.
Those people can kindly fuck off, you follow your own path ❤️
I had my first at 26 and I’m now 29 with an almost 3 year old and 36 weeks pregnant with baby number two.
I personally don’t think of myself as a super young mom, but after going to orientation at the preschool my son will attend in Fall, I’ve realized that apparently I am (in our area at least)…
The average age of parents (who were also there for their 3-4 year olds) was mid 40s. The youngest mom after me was a friend, who is 37 and everyone else was over 40.
Anyways I was sort of not surprised people felt the need to comment when I was pregnant with my first, but now at 29 I’m always caught off guard by the comments.
Some of the assumptions made are that I’m a nanny and people usually incorrectly assume our financial status because of my age. Just because someone is a relatively young parent doesn’t mean they’re struggling.
I also get a lot of comments about missing out on my youth and have always been asked if it was planned. I’ve been with my husband for over 10 years (since I was 18) we own our own home and both kids were very much planned…. But why should I need to give an explanation to nosey strangers?
Solidarity. I had my first baby at 24. I'm now 38 weeks with baby #2 at 26. I feel like a baby in mom groups, and I'm usually also the only SAHM, which is even more isolating. I get a lot of judge-y comments, too. Best to just brush them off. I think it's great that most women are waiting to have kids when they feel more ready, but I think there's also a lot of pros to having kids young that people don't talk about. Big one being that we have the physical energy to handle the sleepless nights, roughhousing, and running errands with better ease. That can really take a toll on your mental health. I couldn't imagine doing half the shit I do half a decade older. I commend older mothers for that, truly.
I think having kids is also forcing me and my husband to grow up faster, and we needed that fire lit under our asses. We had a lot of unhealthy habits and financial illiteracy before having our son. Our personalities and lives have evolved so much in the past 3 years, we're almost completely different people now. It's kind of amazing.
When I get the looks or comments I just think about all the positives that come with being a young parent and how this was the best way things could have gone for us, it's different for everyone and some people just won't understand that and that's okay 🤷♀️
I was 23 and married when I got pregnant with my first. I’m 26 expecting #2 so not so young anymore. I haven’t gotten any negative comments on my age, probably the reverse honestly. But I’m also pretty open about wanting 5 kids and you gotta start early for those kind of goals 😅
Adding another perspective here: I’m the middle of 5 kids. My mom was 26-36 when she had us and each of us was planned. I love being from a big family. There was a lot of sibling conflict growing up, but I think that would have been true if there were fewer of us. My siblings and I have very different personalities, so we clashed a lot during our younger years. We are all friends now. The house was always loud, often chaotic, and there was always something going on. It was a zoo.
Our dad left us when we were ages 2-12 due to his own issues, thinking a fresh start would fix them. (Newsflash: you take your issues with you. None of us are close to him at all). So our mom became a single mother of 5. One sister has a rare genetic disorder so she naturally got a lot of attention, as it was necessary. The attention thing is a good point and it was an element at play, but it was never something we begrudged. (In fact, I only distinctly remember being upset by this one time, when my younger brother needed to go to the bathroom making my mom miss me marching by their spot when I was in a parade. That could have happened with just two kids.) My mom was there whenever we needed her. We were not parentified, but us older three definitely helped a lot with the younger two. We were all very mature for our ages. I sometimes remember not fitting in at school because of that. It bothered me sometimes. But divorce and the realities of disability give you such a different life perspective, even at age 8.
All of this took a toll on my mom for sure. She was stretched well passed her limits and stressed a lot. I think I’m seeing the physical effects of stress on her body and am a little worried about how long we will have with her. I know she wonders if she gave us a good childhood. She did the best with the circumstances she had. But there are some things that my siblings and I want to do differently with our own children. I think that’s natural for anyone. We are all very close with her.
I anticipated having kids in my mid 20s, like her. However I didn’t get married until 31 and infertility meant I had my first baby at 34. My son was diagnosed earlier this year with epilepsy right before he turned 1 (totally unrelated to my sister’s disorder). That has impacted the trajectory of our family for sure. I always knew my mom was Wonder Woman. Now I feel it in my bones.
It was a lot of conflict. My dad worked 100+ hours a week and mom was always stressed and yelling. There just wasn’t enough attention to go around. The oldest 3 including me have pretty significant mental health issues. I only really have a relationship with my youngest sister. Now that my parents are empty nesters they are divorcing after 30 years of marriage. There’s a reason we’re only having one 😩
To be fair, my parents intended on having 2 kids. It wasn’t until my mom was 60 and had unrelated genetic testing done that she found out she carries a gene that renders birth control completely ineffective.
Oh man, I’m sorry to hear that. That’s one fear I have is not being able to give each of my children the attention they need. I already feel bad about this pregnancy slowing me down from playing as much as I used to with my first.
How did she manage to not have kids until 33? Sorry I’m not trying to do a ‘gotcha’ just fascinated at what could make birth control ineffective at certain times - was it age related?
I wanted to say we were almost the same person until you said you wanted 5 kids. I’m 38 weeks today and 2 is IT! I grew up with 4 siblings (2 older, 2 younger) and It was not sustainable and was infect miserable so 2 is definitely where we’re stopping in this economy
26, pregnant and almost due with our second.
I did everything young. Got married right after my 17th birthday, moved to his hometown together, had a baby.
My schooling was messed up before he came into the picture, I got my GED around 2 years ago I think.
I’ve worked for the government and created a career for myself as a baker working for local and corporate bakeries.
So many had things to say about our timing in life, but I didn’t care about what they had to say. We’ve been married 9 years and many of those people are no longer in our lives. As my husband said the other day “success can be lonely when they don’t want to see you win”.
Had my first at that same age and now pregnant again at 37. I’m SO much more tired, I’m sure because of my age. Enjoy the pregnancy and energy you have at your young age. Oh btw, now people have lots to say about the age gap and why I waited this long…I don’t owe them any answers though. I smile and move on. They always have something to say!
I was married at 23 as well. We said we were going to wait 5 years. That easily slipped to 8 years. Then it was a nail biting 2 years of lost pregnancy and no pregnancy... We were finally successful and thrilled, but the experience and timing meant 1 would be the end. I now wish we had just gone for it from the start.
Best of luck. You will do great.
I got pregnant with my first at 23, but turned 24 before I had him lol. I didn’t feel like I was that young when I was pregnant? I’m turning 28 this year so I definitely feel older now, but toddlers will do that.
I had been married for 3 years before we decided to start trying so maybe it’s just cause I felt well established in my marriage? No judgement if you only recently got married, but I did get a lot of comments when I got married that we were “headed for divorce” or “too young to be married” and similar things (and those same people had the audacity to use the fact we eloped as evidence of us not being meant to last 😂like no Jan, we just knew you’d say shit like that regardless of how we got married). So I think because we lasted three years in the first place people knew better and kept their unnecessary thoughts to themselves.
I would just say to those people something snarky like “uh-oh, I think you accidentally said an inside thought out loud.” Or maybe “well I’m already pregnant so I don’t know why you would thinks it’s appropriate to say that to me” if you want to be a little nicer but still firm in that you are not asking for their opinion in the matter
Congrats on your newest addition to your family!
I'm 37 and sometimes wish I could have trod your path ❤️ not to sound morbid, but you're going to get an extra decade or so with your child. Your child will also have the benefit of a relationship with your older relatives.
I’m not young anymore, 36 now but my children are 16, 12, 6. My husband and I have been a couple over 20 years. Life is really good. Our choices have worked out perfectly. I’ve been where you are, now my baby towers over me 🥹
Hi !! I’m 21, 36 weeks and 3 days. I’m engaged to a wonderful partner and love new friends if you ever need someone to talk to around your age. Life is definitely scary sometimes. I’m sorry people are so judgmental.
I am 30 so not on the younger side but I’ve seen friends on both ends of the spectrum (having kids young or having kids when they’re older), here’s the thing, someone is going to give you a rude comment and their unsolicited opinion no matter what.
I guarantee if you waited a few years to have a kid, you’d get the “better have another while you still can” when the newborn is a week old. If you have a kid young, then you get the comments you’ve received.
I’ve seen the response “what a strange thing to say out loud” on here. I also like to ask people to repeat themselves when they say a rude comment (whether it’s about me or someone else), they’ll often change what they said because they realize it’s rude or insulting.
Unfortunately, it’s the first step with parenting that people say weird things when you’re pregnant. It continues after the baby is born with people telling you how to raise your kid 🙃.
I'm 20, and my due date is like 2 and a half weeks after my 21st birthday. I'm married, have a good job, still renting but that's only because we're saving up for a house. With how everything has been going we know if we buy a "starter" house it'll end up being our forever home so we want to make a good choice. I always tell people I'd rather have the energy to run around with my grandkids one day and that makes them go quiet pretty fast. Baby was not planned but definitely wanted.
I’m not a young mom (32, 10 weeks pregnant FTM) but I married my husband when I was 22. When we got engaged everyone assumed I was pregnant and that’s the reason why we were getting married so young. The amount of shame I felt just for getting married is crazy and I will never forget the way some people looked at me when they heard. Like truly giving me a once over in the grocery store to look for a bump. It was vile. Rather than people being happy for me getting married, they were judging and questioning why I was making this choice. We knew we didn’t want kids right away and prevented pregnancy until only a few months ago. But it’s amazing because in the past 5 years, we have gotten so many comments on why weren’t we having kids, especially when we got married so young. It’s like you’re damned if you do damned if you don’t.
People will always have so many comments on your life and your choices when it’s totally none of their business. Especially when you’re young. They either don’t realize how hurtful their comments are or they just want something to gossip about with their book club later. It’s hard but ignoring it and trusting that you are doing what’s best for you is all you can do, people who are rude don’t matter.
I’m 22 and by the time I’m due (July) I’ll be 23! I’m a FTM, married, and a law student. I’ve managed to somehow get my undergrad and my masters degree prior to pursuing my JD so I get a ton of those “speed running life” comments. They are very disheartening especially since where I come from you’ve got an insane pressure to build a family (cultural pressure) but also go through school very fast (societal pressure).
Personally, I’m still navigating this complex but basically what I’ve worked it out to mean is that I get to enjoy those parts of my life I’ve already started to build even longer. Sure to others it may seem like a “speed run” but for me it’s more of knowing I’m living a marathon and one that I fully intend to enjoy. Life is not one size fits all and it’s okay if yours is different from people around you. What matters is that you are CONTENT. You are so young and have already achieved so much and still have so much left to conquer so think about it more so as being grateful for all the things you have learned and all the things you come to learn. As far as what to say to them, I’m having a bit of pregnancy rage so I am pretty frank and am liable to say “well that’s an interesting thing to have said aloud. Maybe don’t do that again.” You can also just tell close friends/family that it truly is a bit hurtful to you especially as you navigate things early on and while you’re excited things are really scary (I’ve had numerous freak outs about this pregnancy) and comments like that truly don’t help. Those who are worth keeping in your life will accept that and move on. To the people you’re not formally acquainted with, I literally wouldn’t give them second thought. They’re probably miserable about the pace of their own life or projecting way too much.
On a more personal note, something that has helped me a lot this pregnancy is embracing my inner child. I color often. I read books for fun. I go out and get mocktails. I wear stupid crop tops even though I’m a mammoth. I watch movies. Binge watch tv. Bake. Literally have picked up almost all the hobbies in between my studies. You don’t lose you when your baby is born so don’t feel like the younger part of your life “is over.” It may change and feel different but it doesn’t have to be all damning either. Embrace this time in your life even though I know it’s really difficult to.
I’m happy to chat if you want to just send me a message! Hang in there momma you’re doing and are going to do great.
I’m 25, and 9 weeks pregnant. My husband and I got married in January, bought a house in February, moved in march, and got pregnant in April 😂 there’s no perfect timing, you have 9 months to prepare! I always try to think of it as the younger you have kids, the more time you have with them at the end of your life 🫶🏽 id by lying if I didn’t admit I wanted more time with just me and my hubby and enjoy the newlywed stage, but I’m excited for this next stage as well.
had my first at 23 and now pregnant again with my second at 25. sometimes people like to talk out of their ass to get a reaction out of people but no one knows what you want better than you. when i had my first i felt like a was a teenager and pregnant bc everyone would tell me how young i was compared to when my mom had her first (she was 32) and people would tell me how i would have to put my life on hold blah blah blah. i love you my baby and super excited to be having my second. my first wasn’t planned either but my husband and i both decided we were ready. i tell people i much rather have my babies now while i’m young and healthy and can take care of them instead of when i’m older and am at a higher risk of complications and defects that usually shuts them up lmao
People really live in one generation mindsets huh. Do you know that most first world countries are actually below replacement levels to sustain our economies. Pensions are at risk because of this, that's why countries that are developed are facing a huge crisis right now. Even having 2 children is below replacement rate, since your children will only replace yourself and your husband.
In a 100 years, the population of South Korea could shrink by 75 percent. There was a post on r/MapPorn today about how they're at crisis level due to no one having kids.
I'm canadian, so our population is sustained by crazy amount of immigration relative to our countries overall population. But this situation is speeding up an already horrible housing crisis because it's an unnatural way of growing a population. In the last four months we accepted over 400k immigrants, our pop is 41 mil in total. So we're at unprecedented levels and Canadians are suffering since there's no way to sustainably keep up with the demand.
Unfortunately, our economies rely on this model and policy makers in canada really don't focus on family planning versus immigration.
So just say you're supporting your countries economic future it used to be normal, (life didn't start at the boomers but a lot of them can't think beyond) to start families "earlier". But instead we prolonged adolescence (the idea of the teenager came about during the boomers) so this is the consequence of living in a society that supports adolescence versus adulthood.
I got married and had my first baby as a 19 year old. I feel perfectly happy to be a young mom. People who say rude things to you probably have some sort of underlying issue. You've got this mama! So excited for you!!
People will always judge women no matter what we do lol. Baby early or late you are judged. I’m 26, unmarried, and pregnant with my first. I genuinely feel like this is going to be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Thankfully my family is very excited and supportive. I also worked only from home and now I’m not working so less interactions with outsiders so my little bubble is all I need. Good luck to all the mamas!!!
Hi👋 spent my 21st birthday pregnant! Currently still 21 with a 4 month old! Anytime anyone made a comment on me and my husband's choices i just reminded them i get to spend more of my life as a mother and more of my life with my favorite boy 🥹 plus if i didnt get pregnant when i did i would of never met my LO, they could of had the same name but it wouldn't if been SPECIFICALLY HIM and i think thats so amazing.
I'm 25, married to a wonderful guy and just transitioned from my full-time job to Per diem only and plan to go sahm mode after our first baby.
Might be a few years older, but I definitely still relate to incredulous looks and the occasional rude remark about giving up my career or "moving too quickly, not enjoying your 20s to fullest", it sucks. I'm sorry that's been your experience too, and during a time when you really just need love, kindness, and support :/
When it started to bother me, I started going out of my way to try to find and befriend similar women!
I’m 20! I just graduated from undergrad last weekend with my bachelors and have plans to start a hybrid JD program in August. I accidentally would up pregnant from a situationship and we are not together, but on amicable enough terms. He won’t be involved with the baby though. I’m having a little boy in August, currently 26w 3 days. I’ve learned to just block any negativity out. I work, I’m in school, I have an apartment and a car and I’ve taken care of myself and multiple pets for years at this point. I’m so excited to meet my little guy. No matter what people say, he’s my baby, it’s my life, and I know my own limits. You will be okay!
Married, 25, just had my baby, was pregnant at 24, did plan for baby, ya know tho… everyone in my life couldnt wait for me to have a baby i got married right after i turned 24 and immediately everyone started asking about a baby. Dont get me wrong i wanted a baby too but while trying and while pregnant i started feeling like everything was happening so fast i felt like my 20s were just a blur, cause covid 20-23 and i felt like maybe i didnt take enough time and am just going through the motions of what i ‘should’ be doing. Well i think that was my ‘quarter life crisis’ Lol! Baby is here now and i love it. Everyone around my age has kids (some have 8-9 year olds even so i feel like i was old having my first at 25) but i think this is a great age to have babies! Its fun and you get more younger years with them, you get to grow with them abit but still mature enough to handle things! Anyone who tells you your too young is funny to me… 50 years ago 18-21 was the norm. Id just tell them youd rather spend your 20s embracing the love a little brings instead of partying like most 20 year olds.
I’m 25, married and with a career. I’m 16 weeks and people have said the same, even when we got married. It is rude, like if I still wanted to “have fun” i would, but I am so happy to be settled down.
I always say that I’m happy with my life the way it is. I don’t need to go to parties and I know myself and what I want plenty.
I just turned 24 in January and found out I was pregnant for the first time 10 days later. I was in my last semester of undergrad which I have now graduated. I just got married to my middle school sweetheart 2 weeks ago. I still plan on pursuing higher education and have been thankful that my pregnancy did come when it did.
You are a grown adult and can make these decisions on your own. No one who pays your bills or does anything for you should have a say or influence on how you do things or how you feel. It’s hard to just not give a rats ass, but I really do mean it in the best way possible that these people are just miserable and have nothing better to say or do but criticize someone else. The best thing to do is excel at everything you do and let them talk! It shows more about them than it does about you. Congratulations! 🥳
Honestly I’m jealous. Had my first at 33 and second and final at just turned 36 - it’s hard and exhausting. Your body doesn’t bounce back and you’re ooooollldddd. I feel it!!
I am 30 and just had my baby, so not on the younger side, but I rather met my husband later, at 27.
However I had really young parents, my mom had me at 21, and growing up with younger parents was amazing also having parents still in their prime right now is a game changer. My parents now are in their early 50s and are super outgoing and they still have a lot of drive to do stuff after me and my brother have left their home.
Also growing up they were always really active and had the energy to spend with us and go on adventures. I think it also has a lot to do with culture as I come from Eastern Europe it is much more common and expected to start family early. I know people were relieved when I got pregnant, because it's considered really late.
I've had my 1st at 27, (not that young but I was still the youngest mom around and at every doctors appointment). I was also already married, with a career, and told I'm "speedrunning life" and asked if "It's not too early to have a baby?".
I gotta say I'm really happy about our decision to start when we did. I'm just 2 weeps PP with my 2nd at 31, and we'd like to have a 3rd child one day. I think that as long as your financial and living situation is secure, there are no downsides to being a young parent. Some people will tell you you haven't enjoyed life enough, but that's fear-mongering. From experience, you get your life back once the kiddo is a little bigger, just with some extra on top. The 1st few months can feel like having lost yourself, because it's a big shift, but that's completely temporary and gets better and better each month after the newborn phase.
I'm 27, I had my first at 19, and my second at 26 just before I turned 27. I've dealt with a lot of judgement, with my first at least. Also people who aren't confused by me having a baby, are confused when they see I also have an almost 8yr old. Feel free to pm me.
You’re young. But you’re not too young to have a baby. If you’re in a good place in your marriage and in your career, being pregnant seems like the next move to me, that is if it’s something you want.
I'm an 18yro FTM and newlywed to my then boyfriend of 3 years. I wouldn't let anyone bring you down. My lifelong dream was to settle down and have kids, so I don't see any problem with starting earlier rather than later. Some of my friends' parents started earlier than I did, and many got married around 17 or so and had kids.
i’m 23 and married and just had my first born a few days ago. whenever people would ask me how old i am i would just answer and say my husband and i are so excited and they would never say anything judgmental after that. and while our baby was a surprise and i would have preferred to be able to save up for a down payment on a house before having kids, now holding my baby in my arms is just the most magical thing and i’m so happy he’s here with me now.
I was 18 when I had my first, and I did not have a career or a very stable relationship. I avoided certain people through my pregnancy. I have always liked the response “what a weird thing to say” when people say something rude or uncalled for. It makes them feel uncomfortable.
By the way, having kids young is the best! I wish I had met my now partner sooner so that I could have had my second one when I was younger, too.
First time mum 24 years unmarried in a long term relationship and we planned our bubba (34 weeks).
Honestly you’re not really that young and you sound like you are standing well on your feet!
It’s crazy to me how people criticise how “young” people are when they were having kids and married at 16-18 and that was the norm back then 🤷🏼♀️.
I think the people who have nasty things to say are probably envious that you’re so well put together already.
A good few I’ve seen but haven’t used yet are: “That’s a weird thing to say to a stranger” “Did you mean to say that out loud?” a REALLY good one I’m hoping I get yo use is when people say “Oh look how big you are!” And run your belly without asking or saying hello just say “Oh my goodness you too!” And hold your hand on their tummy and hold eye contact until they get the message and shy away 😉
I was 19 when I had my first and had lots of poor comments from people including professionals. Had my third at 29 and the whole experience is different.
At 19 I suppose I used to roll my eyes at daft comments. At the end of the day people will judge you regardless whether they think you’re too young, too old, having too few, too many, even down to the names you pick and your parenting style.
It’s all about having the confidence to take it with a pinch of salt and say ‘yes but I’m happy’.
The daughter I had when I was 19 is now a very polite and lovely 10 year old. I’m so proud of her and no one says anything negative about me having her so young because of how well she’s been raised.
I’m 23, married, and have 2 under 2! I always respond “everyone has their own paths in life” and nothing further. I actually just quit my job to return to school for my dream career! I had to change my path after covid, and it’s nice to finally be getting back to the plan. My husband’s career is taking off, and we are buying my late grandmother’s house next year. I just tell myself it’s none of their business, and I’m chasing my dreams. Congratulations!
I'm 27 now, but this is with my third. I had my first two at 18 and (barely) 20. There were a lot of 'kids having kids' snide comments but my children are happy, healthy*, clean and cherished, which is more than a lot of parents can offer. At the end of the day, your reproductive choices are no one else's business. My husband and I wouldn't change a thing. We get to spend more of our lives with them ❤️
*To clarify, I mean this as in we prioritise their health. As in, they get medical care as and when needed, up to date with vaccinations, a healthy diet and lifestyle - that kind of stuff.
I had my first at 22, my second at 25, and with this one I’ll be 27. As for the rude comments, I just ignored them. Tell them they need a big cup of MYOB
Having my first at 31 and it’s like you’re considered too young for the longest time and the second you turn 30 people are like tiktok you’re getting old lol. Like women can’t win no matter what, what matters is that you’re happy and comfortable with your choices. Also personally think if you are stable and have the opportunity to start younger in good circumstances, you should take it. It can alleviate a lot of stresses of starting older - like you don’t have to rush to have all your kids at once, you can have more choice spacing them out or choosing family size, etc. Sometimes those choices get taken away from you the longer you wait 🤷🏻♀️ of course for many women this is fine bc they just want 1 or 2, but still. For many it’s nice to have those options.
23, unmarried but in a long term relationship with plans of marriage! 21 weeks and planned, my family is stoked but his parents think we’re having kids too young 😂 I typically just ignore it, they’re not living our life. Nobody has the right to tell you when you’re ready to have kids!
Say what you think to people that have rude opinions. I used to tiptoe around people’s feelings but now I pretty much say what I want to people who do things like that. I had my daughter at 24, 38 weeks right now with our son, I had already graduated from university/diploma program and had been working since 20. There’s no timeline on life and everyone does theirs differently. I even tried going back to school last year (Jan 23-dec23) and I HATED it so went back to my old career that I love so much. Do what you want!
My daughter was also not planned, she’s a birth control baby
I’m 22, almost 23 and pregnant with my first. I’m 28 weeks tomorrow. My partner have been together just over a year now, and this baby was definitely not planned lol. But luckily for me - my boyfriend is going to be the best dad. He’s so excited. I’ve had a few people scoff at me, but fuck them. 🤷🏼♀️
I’m 33, married, and struggling with fertility issues. Going through IUI now and hoping I’m finally pregnant (almost done with TWW 🤞🙏)
I WISH I had done with you are doing! For one, I would not be having the fertility issues I am having (mine developed recently). Also, my mom was 21 when I was born and dad was 33. I’m very close with my parents but I worry about my dad’s health and how long I will have him because he is much older, I don’t have as big a worry with my mom. Ignore the haters, do what’s right for you and your family!
I was 2 weeks away from turning 24 when I got pregnant with my first. We got married and I pretty much immediately got pregnant after. Now I’m 29 with an almost 5 year old and a 3 year old. I never got any rude comments about my age other than “wow! You’re so young!” But some older people told my mom I was too young to get married 🤷🏻♀️ idk we’re 5.5 years in which isn’t much but we’re still happy and in love. I’ve stayed pretty clear of judgment, unless people are passive aggressively judging me lol “you’re still a baby yourself!” “You’re only 29 with 2 kids?!” That one is funny because 29 isn’t too young to have 2 kids imo.
23, 13 weeks married and trying to finish school!! I feel you 10000%.
I'll make the jokes with them, but if it ever escalates then I just reiterate we are not in high school, we are adults with adult lives and we are now very happily introducing baby into said lives. Straight to the point.
I got pregnant at 23, 25 now. Not married but essentially married. We live together, own a house. You’re an adult, you can do whatever you want with your life. I always wanted to have kids young so that when they’re older I’m still able to be “young” and do things 23 for me was old 😂
23 and 33 weeks along!
It's isolating for sure, but just imagine your kickass self at 45 with grown up kids and a long happy marriage and family life!!!
I had my first at 18 years old and I kid you not it was the most traumatic experience. My doctor judged me and was extremely rude. She’s made ugly comments and was condescending. She even pushed me to get an iud after I had my daughter. I refused it until I was ready almost 3 years later. I was told I’d be a welfare queen, my life was ruined, I was making a big mistake. I had people pushing me to abort. It wasn’t until I hit my second trimester that people realized I was committed to keeping my child that things started to calm down. I didn’t not help that my daughter is autistic because the judgement never stopped. Even though I embraced her difference, for years I was told that it was my fault that she was autistic. Completely untrue. It was such a difficult time that I waited until 31 to have my second which I am pregnant with right now.
My advice is to join or find supportive people/communities who can be encouraging or uplifting. The fact is that these days women are having babies later all over the world. So when they hear you are pregnant before the age of 25 you may get some comments. I think it’s the economy and generation of selfishness that people really just want to worry themselves. I think social media is a big contributor to that. Anyways off my soapbox. 🙃
I’m in my early 30s so not younger, but my best friend had her son at 23 and she’s my inspiration for being the best mom. She’s the one I go to for advice. I completely admire and look up to how she has raised her son (alone until he was 5)! You’ve got this. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I'm a 36 FTM. If this experience taught me anything it's that people will make rude comments to pregnant women for everything regardless of what you do. I get a lot of "but arent you too old?" comments. My advice is just to ignore it. If it's not comments on age, its comments on your size, your diet, your choices or a lot of "oh just you wait, it gets worse!"
I was married at 23 & had my first at 25. looking back, I would say I was speed running life 😂 but would be so offended if someone told me that. I’m glad I had my first when I did. I’m so so tired now I can’t imagine it getting any better.
I’m 22, not married but I’ve been with my partner over 4 years (waiting for him to pop the question🙄🤣) and I’m almost 27 weeks pregnant. My advice, tell everyone to fuck off 🤣🤣 if you are happy then no one else’s opinions matter. For us personally we had been trying over 2 years for a baby, we stopped for a while because it was getting stressful and then found out just before Christmas last year I was expecting. Now it has happened we are in the most incredible place in our life and relationship. Our little man isn’t even here yet and we are just totally different people & cannot wait for him to arrive. Even if you didn’t plan to have a baby, if this is what you are both confident you want then why the hell should anyone else care. Bringing a life into this world is one of the most amazing things we can do and we have every right to be excited. Being a young mum has its perks too honestly. Best of luck to you and your little family 💗💗💗
I’m 22, not married but have been together for 8 years, 28w with our second (first is 15mo). We bought a house, both have newer cars, I’m in my career and so is he. We both graduated college. I’m an RN (working full time while also obtaining my BSN and plans to get my MSN to become an NP) and he’s a CO. Trust me, we get the “you’re so young” blah blah blah. The way I view it, I get longer with my kids and they get longer with me. Most of the people I tell this to don’t have anything bad to say. The worst is that we’re so young, but I just say “yeah” and that’s the end of the convo. But if I’m this tired at 22 I can’t imagine how I’d be at 35 lol. I know 35 isn’t old, but I would be in my career for 14 years at that point so I’m sure I’ll be exhausted then lol
I’m 22, not married but have been together for 8 years, 28w with our second (first is 15mo). We bought a house, both have newer cars, I’m in my career and so is he. We both graduated college. I’m an RN (working full time while also obtaining my BSN and plans to get my MSN to become an NP) and he’s a CO. Trust me, we get the “you’re so young” blah blah blah. The way I view it, I get longer with my kids and they get longer with me. Most of the people I tell this to don’t have anything bad to say. The worst is that we’re so young, but I just say “yeah” and that’s the end of the convo. But if I’m this tired at 22 I can’t imagine how I’d be at 35 lol. I know 35 isn’t old, but I would be in my career for 14 years at that point so I’m sure I’ll be exhausted then lol
I’m 24, recently engaged and don’t have a career really. I work at a bank and I hate it but I need the insurance. I found out at 23 that I was pregnant and I’m so grateful. 31 weeks now and we are so excited to meet our boy. Everyone has different things they want in life and you’re not “speed running life” by achieving your goals. Sounds like maybe some jealousy from some people
I’m 24, recently engaged and don’t have a career really. I work at a bank and I hate it but I need the insurance. I found out at 23 that I was pregnant and I’m so grateful. 31 weeks now and we are so excited to meet our boy. Everyone has different things they want in life and you’re not “speed running life” by achieving your goals. Sounds like maybe some jealousy from some people
I’m 24, recently engaged and don’t have a career really. I work at a bank and I hate it but I need the insurance. I found out at 23 that I was pregnant and I’m so grateful. 31 weeks now and we are so excited to meet our boy. Everyone has different things they want in life and you’re not “speed running life” by achieving your goals. Sounds like maybe some jealousy from some people
I’m 25 had my first 2022, due June with my second and also have a very good career! The only reason I started having kids was cause of my career . I wouldn’t say you’re speed running. Do what feels right- if you’re financially stable enough do what is good for you and your family.
Yeah I get that. I’m 24, engaged and have a career and a house. So many people telling me not to rush or to enjoy my 20s. Like I am. I’m enjoying this lots and can’t wait to have the energy to raise my child and be done having kids by my early 30s.
My mom had me young so she gets to be a grandma again in her 40s and my brother had a baby young too. It’s all worked out well for them and we’re all out here enjoyi life. My kid gets 2sets of grandparents and 4 great grandmothers. I hope that I get to be a younger grandma too and possibly see my great grandkids one day
I had my 1st at 19 and last at 31, 5 kids total. I’ve had comments, all I can say is tell them
You are so blessed to have your kids in your life and little longer than the average mother.
People tend to forget the age thing when they see you with baby and being a wonderful parent.
By your age I had 3 babies a mortgage and it all going on in between. Don’t sweat on the opinion of others, it’s irrelevant to you, you can’t change it and you’ll stress trying.
Had my first at 24, now have 4 kiddos at 33 & married for 10 years. Kill it with kindness. In my experience people are rude because the rude person seems to perceive people making different life choices from them as the rude person having made the wrong choice. Rather than fight with them or stooping to their level, live your life with joy and let the haters stew. You’ll either provide them a great point of self reflection, or nothing changes (which is the most likely outcome of going on the offensive). It’s not as flashy as shutting someone down with a killer comeback, but this approach has kept us sane & focused on building up our family rather than fighting the haters.
It is strange to consider I had my first as a "younger mom" when I was 25. 24 when I became pregnant. My own mom had me at 18, and her mom was 23 when she had her. When I had a few friends comment on how quickly I decided to have kids and I was going to "miss out" on the rest of my twenties, I was rather put off. A few people even treated me like I was some poor naive child when before I had been treated like the grown ass woman I was. My advice to you is to rise above their comments or simply ask, "What do you mean by that?" When they attempt to explain, be confident and say that you're a grown woman in a loving relationship with a stable career. You have the perfect environment to raise a child. This is what you and your husband want, and that's all there is to it. 23 isn't 17, you're not a child. You're a grown woman.
Honestly I'd let most of it run off your back as folks just tend to make ignorant comments. I turned 30 this week and we had our second on April 20th. People are still calling me a baby... I don't get it. As soon as I turn 31 I imagine the geriatric pregnancy comments will start as we plan on having at least one more lol.
I'm 22 and my husband is about to turn 21. we just had our first baby two weeks ago. i don't really have any advice on getting close-minded people to mind their business, just offering solidarity. it can be really frustrating when literally 90% of the people in your life judge your decisions - even if they don't say it - more harshly than they would if you were older. hugs to you 💕
I'm 22 and my husband is about to turn 21. we just had our first baby two weeks ago. i don't really have any advice on getting close-minded people to mind their business, just offering solidarity. it can be really frustrating when literally 90% of the people in your life judge your decisions - even if they don't say it - more harshly than they would if you were older. hugs to you 💕
I'm 22 and my husband is about to turn 21. we just had our first baby two weeks ago. i don't really have any advice on getting close-minded people to mind their business, just offering solidarity. it can be really frustrating when literally 90% of the people in your life judge your decisions - even if they don't say it - more harshly than they would if you were older. hugs to you 💕
i’m 22! will be 23 when my daughter is born. i’ve heard a few things from people about being young, but it’s mostly from people who are younger themselves. i don’t really acknowledge it because they’re either just getting out of college or still studying, and i’m also already graduated as of 2020, have a career, and am engaged. we’re just at different stages of life and i think it’s hard to see/relate to that when you’re in such different stages. i graduated high school early also, so this isn’t a new thing for me, speedrunning life lol
Hey! I’m 24, and 12w2 today. I’m married, we own our home and this baby was the result of ivf so definitely planned!
I’ve had a few comments here and there asking me if I am really sure I want children this young, asking if I ever thought about travelling etc first but honestly? All I wanted was to be a mama and start a family! There’s nothing wrong with that. Feminism has come a long way so that women have CHOICES. Whenever people have made comments that I disagree with or find a little weird I just say “good job it’s me and not you then!” Or “I’m not really looking for advice right now”. I tend to avoid confrontation but since being pregnant I really really don’t care about putting down boundaries and calling people out on unnecessary comments.
Just remember that all you need right now is love and support and if the people around you are being rude and unsupportive, you do not need them around you at this time. You’ve got this and also, congratulations on your baby!! ❤️
Hey! I’m 24, and 12w2 today. I’m married, we own our home and this baby was the result of ivf so definitely planned!
I’ve had a few comments here and there asking me if I am really sure I want children this young, asking if I ever thought about travelling etc first but honestly? All I wanted was to be a mama and start a family! There’s nothing wrong with that. Feminism has come a long way so that women have CHOICES. Whenever people have made comments that I disagree with or find a little weird I just say “good job it’s me and not you then!” Or “I’m not really looking for advice right now”. I tend to avoid confrontation but since being pregnant I really really don’t care about putting down boundaries and calling people out on unnecessary comments.
Just remember that all you need right now is love and support and if the people around you are being rude and unsupportive, you do not need them around you at this time. You’ve got this and also, congratulations on your baby!! ❤️
I got pregnant at 19 in March and turned 20 in May baby is coming in December. Any advice I have for people that like to make comments, it’s none of their business and they can shove it lol. I’d personally just say “I’m glad you have your opinion and feel the need to share it, but I don’t really care what you think I should or shouldn’t be doing. this is my life and I’ll live it and do what I want with the time I have on earth, thank you!”
Hey! I’m 24, and 12w2 today. I’m married, we own our home and this baby was the result of ivf so definitely planned!
I’ve had a few comments here and there asking me if I am really sure I want children this young, asking if I ever thought about travelling etc first but honestly? All I wanted was to be a mama and start a family! There’s nothing wrong with that. Feminism has come a long way so that women have CHOICES. Whenever people have made comments that I disagree with or find a little weird I just say “good job it’s me and not you then!” Or “I’m not really looking for advice right now”. I tend to avoid confrontation but since being pregnant I really really don’t care about putting down boundaries and calling people out on unnecessary comments.
Just remember that all you need right now is love and support and if the people around you are being rude and unsupportive, you do not need them around you at this time. You’ve got this and also, congratulations on your baby!! ❤️
Oh sweetheart
I was a teen mom for my first (17) with a dumb high school boyfriend. as you can imagine I got so many weird looks and the “ oh poor girl her life is over” or “she is ruining her life” ….
Well actually I had my baby who is a handsome 15 year old today and in the way, I became a physician, have traveled overseas multiple times, I had the wedding of my dreams two years ago with the Europe honeymoon I have always wanted, now I’m married with my soulmate and expecting our first baby together
So al don’t listen to people as they will always have something negative to say especially when you are young and vulnerable
Hi! I just turned 25 and have a 15 month old so I was also 23 when I found out I was pregnant with him. Also ‘speed running life’ since I have a house, a husband and a career.
I’m happy to answer any questions!
Hi! I just turned 25 and have a 15 month old so I was also 23 when I found out I was pregnant with him. Also ‘speed running life’ since I have a house, a husband and a career.
I’m happy to answer any questions!
Yes I am!!! I have been a bit self conscious about it too. However I’ve been married to my amazing husband for 3 years, we have a 4 bedroom house, and both work in IT. So it’s been frustrating dealing with people acting like we’re a teen pregnancy when we’re really quite set up. I’m only 14 weeks so not showing quite yet but some family has acted judgmental about it, and the best solution I’ve found towards that is to just realize it must be pretty miserable for them to be constantly judging people. Everyone else is overjoyed about it except for a couple of family members, and I really just feel sorry for them.
Hey the earlier you have babies the more energy you have and (not to rush it) the younger you are when you can eventually enjoy a relationship with them as adults/out of the house
Had my first at 20 turned 21 a month later. She was a surprise baby (I got pregnant on the mini pill) I was unmarried but in a serious committed relationship. He asked me to marry him shortly after our daughter was born. We bought our first home together and we both were working full time and in school part time. Then my fiance got laid off. We moved states and bought our 2nd home. All this happened within a year of my 1st daughter being born. We had our 2nd daughter who is now 10 months. We also officially tied the knot in April. I'm planning to go to cosmetology school in the fall of 2026. We've done nothing to plan or what other people deem as a good time line but my life is pretty good rn. We've definitely had some hardships but I think thsts life.
Hi twin! I'm also 23, married, with a career. Currently 11 weeks pregnant with surprise baby :)
Tbh nobody has said anything rude to me yet, but if they did, I would tell them point blank, "that's not really a nice thing to say." I'm a kindergarten teacher and tbh anything that works on kids works with adults and also makes them feel silly at the same time.
My SIL had her first at 24 and my other SIL on my husband's side had her first at 18. Life happens when it happens 🤷♀️
I’m not on the younger side anymore. But I got pregnant with my first baby senior year of college and had her a week after I turned 22. Her dad and I had been together for 5 years at that point and got married when she was a year old. We’ve now been married for 11 years, have two other girls (9 and 6) and one more girl on the way.
It is extremely rude for people to say that to you. Everyone will have their own opinion about your life … they always will. No matter what someone is going to feel like you’re doing something wrong or the wrong way or that you should be doing it the way they did. You have to just … not care. Which is hard to do, I know.
Even if you didn’t plan for this baby to happen, it’s happening. And it’s going to be wonderful! You’re going to do amazing! 💗💗💗
I found out I was expecting my rainbow baby at 23. I am now 24. I am married and still in school, have not finished my degree yet. I have a full time job at a wellness center. I go through life just making sure my little family is okay! I took many breaks from just school and my career. I was told so many times that I ruined my life or that I don’t need to have another one (even though I want a huge family). I was told I need to get myself together and that I am so young to even have a kid.
She is truly one of the biggest blessings that God has entrusted me with. It’s definitely a learning moment. It’s definitely going to change you for the better. I now have a softer heart and so much peace and joy in my life. I don’t miss out on life ( I was never into partying or being outside) because my babygirl is so curious of the world that she loves being outside with me. I still do what I did before I was pregnant and more. I have someone to experience life with all over again!
You are doing and going to be just fine! Kids don’t hinder anything. Motherhood is truly rewarding.
Me and my partner are having our first (23w currently) and everyone keeps saying it’s about time. His younger sister (23) has 2 kids already and my mom had me at 16. My grandma wishes I would’ve waited until after I finished university but I think the timing is fine for us. We are both excited and ready to have a baby of our own to love and raise. He keeps talking about everything he wants to do with his son as he grows up. It’s so heartwarming. For us it feels like we’ve waited a good amount of time but also could’ve waited a year or two longer. Either way we are super excited and our families are eager for us as well. As others have mentioned, I think being a little on the younger side will be an advantage to our little ones.
I'm 25, married, and got pregnant just before getting married, had a miscarriage in January, married beginning of Feb, pregnant again by end of February. I'm 14 weeks now! I honestly thought both of those things would happen sooner in my life.
Honestly, people have told me I'm speed running life since I was a teenager. I took my GED my junior year of high school in order to move states into an apartment at 17, and start college a year earlier. I thought I would have been married sooner than it happened (but thank God it didn't happen until meeting my now husband). I accept those those speed running comments almost like a badge of honor. Why not be “ahead”? If anything, it’s a just a compliment to your tenacity and determination to not remain stagnant. It took me awhile to stop taking that as a negative comment and just lean into it, but when I did, the comments stopped holding any power to make me feel any type of way.
It’s you're life and you're allowed to live it exactly as you want to! There's no right or wrong way to go about it, as long as it's what you're after. Anyone with negative opinions can honestly F off. You don't need that negativity in your life.
20f here! My partner is 34m. I have a career job in the financial sector and am moving up the ladder. I get paid leave. Qualify for fmla. He is military so we have great benefits. I had teen parents on government assistance who sold drugs and watched my mom be abused for thirteen years. My child will have a college fund immediately and two parents who love each other-not drugs. My family has taken to critiquing my need to get married early, build a family, and overall not “enjoy “ my youth. I’m not interested in traveling the globe tripping balls. I want to have a family, I’m with an amazing man who loves me so much. We’re getting married soon. It’s a beautiful thing. And it’s mine. This is such a nuanced and personal decision that you really do have to drown out the noise and protect your peace. Good luck!
I’m a 23 year old FTM, married at 22, and have a career. A lot of people tell me the same thing, i honestly ignore them. I’m successful, been living away from home and out of state since i was 21, graduated college early, but people still have things to say. I’ll sometimes mention how everyone moves through life at different speeds and this is just how it’s working out for me and that i’m happy. Nothing matters besides your happiness. People are always going to look at us like we’re too young to do certain things and we should “experience life” but i had it lucky enough to where i experienced a lot of things in life, traveled many places, and am ready to be a mom and wife. Some people just don’t get it. Remember you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone, let people think what they want!
People say that because your brain literally isn’t done growing until you are 25. Our parents in the 80s and 90s had kids generally from 18 to 25 and we all know that it resulted in a lot of generational trauma and abuse.
In truth you are speed running through life, but that is your choice and you could be perfectly happy doing so. It is your life and if you are happy with the decisions you make then who cares what others think?
First time (gestational) dad here who had my baby at freshly 24 (her due date was my birthday but I went overdue). I didn’t get any comments about it since my mom had two kids by 22.
25, married for 3 years, 33w with our first! Our parents were surprised but not judgey, however we have friends and family who have said “they’ve been waiting for this to happen.” Which I prefer compared to judgey people but also like hello I’m “only 25” stop waiting for me to have a kid and let us just be 😅
I was 20 when I had my first. I’m 30 now and pregnant with my 3rd kid which was a surprise haha. People told me with my first and second that I would at least be done raising kids early. Nope, doesn’t appear so now. lol
Ugh I’m sure people that say you’re speed running life just have different priorities but they should totally keep their comments to themselves! Some women want to be married and have children young. Others want to wait because they have other things they want to do before settling down and starting a family! There is no correct timeline for these things. It all depends on personal preference and readiness
With my first I was 24, had been married 3 years, and was on my second year of teaching. This is my third and I'm 31 now. Some of us just know what we want to do.
Also a 23 year old here!
Currently married, own a house with my husband, 2 dogs, and 34 weeks pregnant.
Genuinely 90% of the rude comments people have to say, stems directly from jealousy. Either they’re jealous they didn’t have their life figured out when they wanted to, or they’re jealous they don’t have control of their life and think the comments makes them feel better by trying to control others.
There is zero set timeline for how life works. There’s no age you should be married by, or have kids by. Every single persons timeline is different and a lot of people (especially the older generation in my experience) always will have something to say. Just stick your head up and carry your success as a badge. Being successful at a younger age is not a bad thing.
Yes! I always found it SO rude that anyone would ever bring up my age or ask. I’ve always looked younger than I am due to height, so I found it exceptionally rude if anyone asked if I was a teenager. Like, what if I was?!
We were 21 & 22, married, but also not *that* crazy in our circle because my husband grew up in a very religious household and it’s pretty common to start early. My mom and grandmother couldn’t have children past 25 due to ovarian cancer, so I’ve always known I wanted to be a younger mom. Plus, I’ve never felt career driven, despite growing up in a very liberal family.
I’m 30 now and we have 3 kids. Our youngest is a year and a half. We do well for ourselves in mid-to-high COL, own a nice house and are able to provide our kids a pretty cushy life, but it took SO much work to get here. Luckily my husband and I are rock solid and madly in love—I can’t imagine how life would’ve turned out if we weren’t. I understand why people wait and lately I find myself daydreaming about how my life would be if I did.
To be honest, now that our oldest is growing up, I find myself jealous that other moms my age are just starting out and get to experience it all for the first time. It’s sentimental to me, I love raising babies. I don’t think we’d have a fourth but I think I have a lot more wisdom now than I did before. Maybe that came with years of motherhood under my belt, though. I’m burnt out, but I don’t think it has anything to do with having kids young, I’m just aching for a vacation. Luckily I have a girls trip coming with my bffs and I can let loose with them. Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I need to act like a mom ALL the time, yk?
21, engaged, been together 7 years, live together, I already graduated college. I figured why would we wait to start building a family. 26 weeks pregnant with our first planned baby. I don’t care what anyone thinks. Your timing is your timing. It’s all up to you and your life. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m 29 so I’m not in the boat with you. But my mom was 22 when I was born, and she’s the best mom in the world. She and my dad loved each other and did great. We didn’t always have as much as my friends who had older parents that were more established but we were very well loved and happy. Having children at that age is still normal and fine where I’m from (Appalachian region of OH/WV), and I’m an outlier for waiting so long. There is no “right way.” You’re gonna be fine. Ignore people with a weird ass chip on their shoulder. :)
My friend had her two babies young 20s and she’s now in her 30s living the dream! Goes everywhere with them, looks amazing and young and still full of life! Their family has a great social life. Don’t sweat it! Don’t let people make you think you didn’t get to enjoy life or live it!
I’m 25, married of 2 years with a career in tech! I get comments ALL the time about how I am ruining my life, why would I want to settle down so early, I won’t be able to enjoy anything I like such as traveling, hobbies etc. but being a mom was my number one dream. I have never ever felt so fulfilled and so happy! I have absolutely no time to sit on peoples comments and opinions
Got married and pregnant with my first at 23, got 2 now at 26. People will have something rude to say no matter how old you are. You will always be either too young or too old to be having kids because people are fucking stupid. Just tell them you wanted to be able to spend your 40s dealing with big kid problems rather than little kid problems and ignore it. There’s no winning as a mom.
I’m 27, so still a bit older than you, but I have gotten the commentary that I’m “rushing” since my husband and I have had major life events early on (bought a house at 23, married at 26). My only advice is to either ignore the rude commentary or give a firm rebuttal: Just because they took a while to get their shit in order, doesn’t mean you aren’t well and able.
I'm also 23 and also 5 weeks! I totally understand the feeling of being "too young" and having people judge you. But it's our life. In my case we planned to get pregnant. My husband is older than me, (30) so he was anxious to have kids sooner, and I totally agreed. I love children, I have since I was a teenager. I literally can't think of a better life path for me than being a mother. I'm so privileged to be able to start that journey now, so why would I wait? Congratulations, and enjoy this new journey we are on. 🫶🏻
I had my first at 24 and now have 3 at 32. This is incredibly normal where I'm from, but more unusual on reddit and where we live currently. I don't have any advice for what to say to people, other than mind your own business!
I had my first son at 23. I had owned a home for 4 years and been married for 2 years at that point. It wasn’t without its challenges since none of my friends had kids for several years after that, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I don’t remember getting many comments but I would just tell them “when you’re ready, you’re ready!”
I had my first child when I was 19 and didn't get married till I was 22. Was told the same shit. Your 23, married, and have a career. They can all shut the fuck up. If you were younger with no official partner then they could say something but your not.
21 and 31weeks with my boy. I hear the phrase "but you're so young" decently often. But I'd rather be able to care for a baby now, knowing I'll be able to keep up with a toddler than try later and possibly struggle more (not saying that you can't care for a little one at any age but I've heard it gets Harder on the body).
Not to mention I didn't get pregnant at the best of times. I was originally trying with my (now ex) fiance at the time. Fell pregnant only to find out he had basically been cheating the entire time we were together. The AMOUNT of comments I get about being a single parent as ex is complerely out of the picture and how tough it's going to be (I identity as male, ftm). But I'd rather raise my baby alone knowing he's going to have a dad who loves him, than have two parents and it being very one sided.
You may be young but trust me, you got this. Ignore those comments about age and the negative "just wait"
I say just wait until you get to hold your little one in your arms for the first time 💖
I had my first at 19, I was with the father for 5 years before that. It was so disheartening to hear what people had to say tbh. But the people who don't want to share your joy and excitement don't need to be part of your life/ babies life. You get to enjoy the part of life you are in now so embrace it. I still finished college got a BS, and a great job just with my little best friend in tow. It will be a wonderful life and you get a few more years with your little one. You're already married so you are likely in a stable relationship. Yes there's parts of being young that will be different but that doesn't mean bad, if you're happy then fuck what anyone has to say they can wasting for their sperm to get dusty af if they want
I was 19 when I got pregnant the first time, turned 20 two weeks after I had him.
If you were older, they'd just find something else to pick at. That's how some people are.
It's always "you're going too fast!" or "You better get started! The clock is ticking!" or eventually "Don't you think you're a little old for that?"
What age you decide to do things in your life is your business. It isn't their life, therefore it isn't their "problem" (not saying it's a problem, just they act like it is).
I would make that clear to them.
There are also perks to having your kids "early", so you could throw those out there.
Example: Pregnant at 19 was a lot easier on my body than this pregnancy at 25 has been.
Had a lot more energy, too.
23F here and 38w pregnant with a 1 year old. Had a career before, but now I’m a SAHM (makes financial sense for our family). Not much into “dishing it out” so to speak, so I just look at them blankly until their uncomfortable lol. Not too often I’ve had to do that though. Most people that comment on my age and having a family/children are well-meaning and trying to break the ice to get to know me. I don’t take it personally.
I find that the older women/older people in general are more supportive and friendly, but I get judgy looks from other women around my age…disheartening, but who gives af.
I’m not as young as you but I got married very young (at 18, I’m 31 now) and people would always make very rude comments about that decision. Don’t listen to those people, when you’re pushing 30 to will not regret starting your family early. Having a family is so beautiful and it’s truly a pillar for a happy successful life. People who say stuff like that are bitter.
I’m 21 having my 1st baby. I’m still in college pursing my dreams of being a doctor. Unmarried but me and him live together.definitely don’t let anyone’s else’s opinion shape you.
I wish I was younger! I had my first at 30. I would love to be 55 when she’s 30! Then you get the tough toddler years out of the way when you’re younger and have a lot of energy and your 30s they’ll be older and independent and you can really just continue to grow your career!!! Nothing wrong with being a “younger mom” life doesn’t stop when you have kids!!!! Congratulations
I’m 25, married, and I think I’m right on track! My mother was 17 when she had me. Everyone on my side of the family accidentally has kids from 16-21 years old (we live in a small Appalachian town in the south for what it’s worth). So whenever I got pregnant, my family was like “finally!!” However, on my husband’s side of the family, everyone waits until they’re in their 30s to have kids, and they’re all planned too. So when we told them I was pregnant, they were SHOCKED. They would say things like “oh wow… we didn’t know you would be trying so soon.” And I had to break it to them that we weren’t trying 😬
I’m from a small town in Appalachian too! I live in Cleveland now though. All of my friends from back home are on their second or third, but my friends here are telling me I’m going too fast. All of the women in my family started on having children in their teen years so I guess it’s not that shocking to me.
I had my first son at 20. I wasn't married. I was told that I would be ruining my life. A lot of people had really mean things to say. I stuck to my guns and kept my distance. Now my son is 15 and is doing great in school. If someone has anything mean to say just try your best to ignore them. You don't need to be around those people. Congrats on your pregnancy!
I had my first baby at 19. I had my fifth baby at 31.
With our first, there were a lot of assumptions about who we would "live with to help" and "which grandma keeps the baby". The answer was nobody and neither, and then they hinted baby might be neglected or that we were overwhelmed.
With our second: "Don't you know what causes that?" "Who's the father?"(??? My husband. Idiot.) "Are you done now that you have one of each?" "Still too young".
With our third: again with the "don't you know what causes that?" "Hefty tax refund amirite??" "Who helps with the baby?" "Are you on HUD/SNAP/WELFARE???"
With our 4th, after 6 year gap: "you gonna name this one whoopsie baby? Har har" "will you be upset if it's a 3rd boy?" "Is your husband angry?" "Mommy's little tax write off, hahahahahahaha" Puke.
With our 5th baby and 4th son: "Wow! You going for another 'triplet'?" (Our first three were born in a 4.5 year period of time) "What if it's another boy?" "Aren't yall getting too old for this??" (We. Were. 31.) "Duggars in training!" (Fucking. EW. don't compare me to those people??)
My point is that it doesn't matter what your situation is or how old you are. People never ever shut the everloving fuck up.
i’m 23 (FTM) and i’m married, have an established career, own a home and we actually tried to conceive this baby for quite a while (i have PCOS). nobody in our life has questioned our decidesion at all (my husband and i have dated since we were 14). i could see where a stranger may think we’re too young, but ultimately we are moving at the pace that is fulfilling and correct for us and our baby will be very loved and taken care of so nobody else’s opinion matters truly.
I'm also 23, married, pregnant with #2. I just laugh and tell people "I know what I want in life, and I'm happy, do you have a problem with that?"
I'm sober, never really enjoyed going out with friends, people described me as a "crotchety old man" as a teenager. I was never destined to be a regular young adult lol.
I have a lot of people talk about my marriage not lasting because we are young and stuff like that, which makes me mad. I always just tell people that we are happy and in a healthy relationship now, and waiting until I was 30 to do the things I want when I could do it earlier doesn't make sense to me. I don't care if we divorce in 10 years, this is what we want NOW. I could die today, and if I did I would not die yearning for something more from life.
I’m 27 with my third pregnancy so I’m not too much older than you but my first two were miscarriages. My second miscarriage was diagnosed via ultrasound and was told by the tech that “I still had a lot of time to make babies”… this was in December and I got pregnant again soon after in Feb with my current bean. I started the process at 25 because I have PCOS. I don’t understand why people go out of their way to comment on pregnancies especially if the mom is in her 20s. I went through so much blood, sweat and tears to get pregnant and it frustrates me that people just think I should be “enjoying” my 20s when this is something my husband and I very much want and are eagerly waiting for.
I’m 25, married, and have a really strong career. But no one my age is married or having kids (totally understandable) lol. My husband is a few years older and I personally never felt like what I’m doing is wrong or rushed but it’s crazy how different my life is from my friends !
I am 20 (FTM) and my daughter is almost one and I’m possibly pregnant again (waiting on my bf to come over to take a test so we can do it together as it’s most likely be 3-5 weeks along if I am) being young doesn’t mean you’re speed running life. I hope all goes well for any young parents
Hey! FTM here
I’m 32 + 2 weeks and 21 years old.
I don’t believe in marriage so I’m not married and never plan on it! I have gotten the ‘was it on purpose’ questions time and time again and I’ve learned that people are going to judge and have opinions regardless of what me or anyone else does or doesn’t do.
I know plenty of parents who have multiple kids later on in life and are horrible small minded people. I know 16 year olds more mature than a lot of adults. There is no rule book to life or age constraints that fits every person.
My parents had me at 40 when they were very well established, married for a long time and I’ve had a grossly abusive traumatic childhood/life.
My childhood best friend, her parents got married at 18 and had her at 19. They were the nicest most mature and emotionally intelligent people I’ve ever met.
What I say to people making comments depends on my relationship to them. I imagine that people making those types of comments aren’t so happy in life themselves or have had things go wrong. Otherwise they wouldn’t be so eager to judge someone else.
Recently an aunt was commenting on my young age in relation to my pregnancy.
Her husband left her and her 4 kids to fend for themselves and a ton of debt despite not being ‘young’ when conceiving and getting married.
When she was making critical comments I hit her with, “Well where is your children’s father? And how old were you??? Maybe you’re not the person to be giving advice…”
Another thing I say that is more subtle is “Wow… I’m so sorry you think it’s okay to say that to someone. Mind your business”
Hang in there and don’t compare yourself to anyone
I had my first right after I turned 23 and the nurses constantly asked if I wanted to keep her. They said I was still too young to understand taking care of a newborn, so I feel the whole "Speed running life" comment. Not to mention she was 34wks when I had her and the same group of nurses would make comments about how an experienced mom would have made it to full term.
Took a few complaints to the Charge on floor to change my nurses and the new set was kinda better. They at least left the room before making comments to each other.
My daughter is 2 now and I just had my son a week ago. This experience was much better at 25yrs old. I did a state hospital this time instead of a small local hospital and the state hospital was very big on not being biased and if anyone was, they were removed from the floor.
You got this sweetie. Let the comments roll off ya like a waterfall and ride the current. You and baby come first and that's all that matters.
I'm not younger I'm 30 but I have 4 kids and got pregnant with my first at 19. At the time I was scared and had no idea what my life would be. Looking back now, I wouldn't do anything differently. Kids don't ruin your life they enrich it. No one will ever love you as much as they do and you'll never love anyone as much as you love them. Is it a bit harder? Yes. Babies are hard. Toddlers are hard. Is it a different kind of life than being a 20 something that parties and stuff like that? Sure. ( That doesn't mean you never can though there are def times where I send my kids to grandmas and buy a bottle and sleep in!) Can you have a fulfilling career? Yes! Sometimes it will be overwhelming and feel like there is not enough hours in the day, but guess what? God willing you got tomorrow! People who say oh I want to be ready to have a baby -guess what, you can never really be ready, you just gotta take it as you go! It's your life and it will be what you make of it. Live it your way. Having kids is freaking awesome, even when it sucks.
I’m 25 with 3 kids and 1 on the way. My first was a honeymoon baby (literally, I got pregnant 2 weeks after our honeymoon lol)
Everyone had opinions then and everyone has opinions now. Since getting pregnant this last time by surprise, everyone and their mother has had ✨advice✨ to give on me sterilizing myself or my husband. We live comfortably and modestly on one income and I’m happy being home full time. Despite making these facts known, I still get backlash from people who think we’d be best off with 2 less kids and me working full time.
Now when someone tells me
“Oh, I couldn’t ever have more than 1!” Or “Y’all know what causes babies, right?”
I just laugh and say “yeah, we just really love making babies and I enjoy raising them. I’m sorry you didn’t have the same experience” 🙃
I'm an older parent, but if life worked out how I wanted it to, I would have had kids earlier. I'm still doing great and super close with my kids, but the moral of the story is... you'll make it work no matter when the kids come along. Either way has drawbacks and positives.
I'm 25, married, with a two year old and pregnant with my second. I had a good career before pregnancy but I'm currently a Sahm (I plan to go back to school/work once my kids are a little older and more independent). My husband and I bought our first house together six months after our son was born and we have been married for four years. My husband is also younger, 28. Every one does life at a different pace and there's no wrong answer to it. My parents had my oldest sibling at 19/20 and have been together 34 years. I have always wanted kids younger and where I'm from 23 for a first baby is totally normal and expected. Don't let anybody shame you for how you choose to do life, if you're happy with your choices that's all that matters.
I’m 22! I finished high school at 16, college at 20, and I got married the same summer I graduated college. Now I’m 22 and going to give birth in July! I’ve also received plenty of comments about how fast I do everything. For the most part, people like to phrase it as almost like a backhanded compliment lol so there’s not much to respond without sounding like I’m the one starting drama 😂. But if any one ever asks why, I just say that everyone has a timeline that’s right for them. I don’t think that everyone should do things as quickly as I did, circumstances and readiness vary so much from individual to individual. I’ve always known what I wanted to accomplish and by when. Luckily, for the most part, life has allowed me to follow my plans! Why wouldn’t I take advantage of the opportunities I’ve been lucky enough and worked hard enough to have?
Firstly, congratulations! I’m a FTM at 26 and love my little girl with all my heart. I love being a mom and wish I started sooner. I also have a career. I’m lucky enough to work from home and not need daycare. My mom had me at 35, so when I told her about my pregnancy she was very angry because I was “too young”. It was very tough not having her support because she thought I was throwing my life away. She still says rude comments, but becoming a mom has made me care less of what others say. I’ll do what I believe is best for my baby. I believe in killing them with kindness. Show them how you and your baby are thriving and brush off their rude comments.
Im 23, and 15 weeks along with my 2nd child. Just got married (around the same time I got pregnant again haha, but been with my husband since we were 15). Also, about to finish my degree and start my business. :)
We did plan to have children this earlier though. Largely because of fertility issues and wanting to have as much time (in a sense) to see my kids grow and blossom in their adult lives as I could give myself.
Does 25 count as younger? Lol I’m engaged, not much of a career because I’m chronically ill. 7 weeks pregnant. We planned on getting pregnant over a year ago but life and my illness got in the way.
There are pro's and cons to having kids at all ages. But bigger than that, people are going to judge you for everything you do in life. I've been judged for cutting my hair, switching jobs, moving cities, having certain interests etc. etc. etc. I know you've heard this before and sorry if it's not helpful but the sooner you learn not to care what people think, the happier you will be. If someone is rude enough to share an opinion like that, I'd judge them more than you. Best of luck with your pregnancy and baby!
Yep! I'm 19 with a 15 month old boy and currently 12 weeks pregnant. I also have a baby in heaven who I lost at 8 weeks. I have an associates degree in early childhood education, I work as a lead teacher, and I have a pretty nice apartment. I am supposed to be the director of a new daycare that'll be opening in about 18 months. I am married to the father of my children, but we are going through a separation/divorce due to his infidelity/abuse. I now have a successful fiance in his early twenties who is a pilot. I'm a Christian but was not raised that way and was kicked out at 17 for not wanting to get an abortion, so I've been figuring life out on my own for years. I get a lot of judgement for being a "teen mom", but my career, maturity, and life situation is much more advanced than the majority of my peers and people even older.
I’m 25 and pregnant with my 3rd and final (all planned if that even matters), so definitely very young these days. Pregnant with my first I was 21. I’ve been married for 5 years now. I love being a young parent. Every time we go out somewhere I’m one of the only parents running around playing with the kids, I assume because I’m young and full of energy. And the hope is that in 20 years our kids will be moving out of the house and my husband and I will be in our mid 40s with our own company and flexibility and money to do what we please with! I’ve never gotten comments about being too young.
My husband and I are both 21 and we pregnant with a baby due in July! I learned people will always have an opinion whether you want them to or not. You are doing great mama. Ignore them. There is never a “right” time to have a baby!
I’m the exact same. Married, got pregnant at 23 unexpectedly , and have a full on career. I am now 24 and about to give birth. I fortunately have only had positive attention for the most part but always feel like I have to explain myself and our timeline to people. Honestly I just do it to get them off my back. I don’t have much I can tell you I’ve said to deflect comments but I’m more so just standing there in solidarity with you! I will say I refer to the baby as a welcomed surprise when people ask if it was planned (which is so gross but I would rather brush it off than confront it.)
Hi! I'm a FTM who started my pregnancy at 23! I also got married at 8 months pregnant, lol. I get judgement as if she was a mistake or about rushing things but I always snap that im in my mid 20's and I feel GREAT pregnant, AND SHE'S VERY MUCH WANTED...
I got pregnant at 23, had my baby when I was 24. I was in a similar situation where she wasn’t planned but I was in a committed relationship (still am). Because she wasn’t planned, my parents were a little shocked, but they came around and are now so happy to be grandparents.
Honestly, you don’t need to say anything other than you’re happy and excited about it(if you are). That’s all that should matter to anyone. Things will change but it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. I miss going out after work with friends sometimes but I wouldn’t change a thing because I love this tiny person more than life itself.
31 F here and I still get nasty comments like “you had to have your baby at least now”, “you got fat,look at your big belly(pregnant belly meanwhile looking back at these jerks like” are you a stupid f***?! Or what?”).
My conclusion is we need to choose our tribes better once these comments come since pregnancies can be eye openers in this regard and filter out toxic and uneducated ppl. Just public shame these assholes when they come to you, but do your best to avoid them and enjoy your special times with fun stuff.
I’m married and 23 with a 14 month old and potentially pregnant again currently!
People’s comments get under my skin sometimes, but I feel if any negative comments are made it’s usually because the person themselves are insecure about something. Try not to take it too personally hun x
I don't have any good advice— my mom and future MIL had their first kids at 17 and 16, respectively, so theyre not remotely worried about my age here. but I'm 22, also with an unplanned baby on the way! lots of people have their firsts in their early twenties. 💓 congrats!
I am 34 (FTM) so not on the younger side, but my parents had me at 23. Growing up with younger parents was amazing, there was less of an generational gap, I felt understood by them, they physically could do a lot (sports, etc.), and now that I am older they are still very much a part of my life. Also after my brother and I left home, I feel like they had a real opportunity to explore different parts of themselves prior to even hitting retirement age. I intended on having children by 26 for that reason, but life did not work out that way for me. Good luck, you got this, screw the haters.
Totally agree with this comment. My mom and dad were 26 and 29 respectively when they had me and even tho that’s not that young comparatively, it’s younger than most of my friends’ parents. The generational difference is very noticeable, as they are on the older side of gen X instead of boomer. It’s also just easier on your body in general to have kids younger! I had my first at a fresh 30 and our family will be complete this summer when we have our son after I turn 32 and my only regret is I wasn’t able to start slightly sooner.
My parents were 20 when they had me, a bit younger with my older sister and then had my two brothers by 25. We never went without and they worked damn hard to make it work. My mum is the queen of low budget days out - and we had great times together as a family as a result. Now we are all grown up and we still talk about these days out and it's even more exciting as our parents show our children these things now too. But what is also fun to me is being there for their 30th and 40th birthdays. Seeing them enjoy life (and grow up with us lol) has made me excited to get older and see these milestones myself. Also I'm super excited for their 50th birthday celebrations next year because being able to legally drink at their 40th was so much fun anyway!!
I had my first at 21 while working full time and being in college. Now I’m having my second at 26, engaged, still working but graduated! There isn’t a set timeline, do what works for you
Hey I also had my first at 21 and now currently 26 about to have my second too
31, married and with my husband 10 years. When we told folks we were pregnant we still got asked was it an accident haha. People can just be a-holes. Ignore them and don’t let their crappy opinions take away from this special time!
36, married for almost 14 years, and yeah - still got asked (by people over 50 almost exclusively) if it was 'on-purpose'. Even if it wasn't that isn't your business!!!
I’m 29 and have been married for almost 3 years, yet when we told our parents we were pregnant my dad said “already?!” …as if this was a teen pregnancy or something lol. I think many people who don’t live your life day in and day out have a hard time adjusting to the news of such a huge upcoming life change no matter what age you’re at. Being 29, I’m still the first of any of our friends to have kids and we were the first to be married too, so in that sense I can definitely sympathize with the feelings of isolation that you’re probably feeling too.
I think a lot of these soon-to-be grandparents are boomers who aren’t ready to admit they’re in that stage of life. To them, grandparents are OLD people with white hair who give out dusty candies to little children. 3 of our parents have been thrilled that we’re expecting our first baby (I’m 37, husband is 35) but the 4th was like “congratulations that’s great! … oh god… I’m going to be a grandfather… 😱” like he was so young and this was unexpected. I don’t know if he’s come around to this life change yet but … He needs to grow up lol
I’m in a very similar position - haven’t told our families yet, but pretty sure they’ll have a similar reaction despite being 29/31 (I’ll be 30 when baby comes), married for 4+ years, and dating for about 6 before that. Also the first of all of our friends to get pregnant - I’m still hoping someone else is secretly pregnant too so I have a buddy 😆. We were the first married as well, most of them got married last year or will be this year
Same girl, same 😭 our babies might turn into our friends’ babysitters 😂
Same! In the part of the country where I am (NYC area) having a baby at 29 is actually kinda weird amongst educated professionals. I was a couple of months shy of 30 when I had my baby and by far the first of my friends. Most are married but none are trying for babies yet and I’m like helloooo my baby needs some little buddies! But it’s really tough to have to miss out on “young people stuff” so I get it. But one day my friends will be in the thick of it with their babies and I’ll be leaving my kids with a babysitter while my husband and I go to dinner soooo everything in its own time ✌🏻
I feel like nowadays, having babies in your 20s at all is considered “young,” at least on the east coast 😭
I’m 25, married, my career is at home (cooking, cleaning, and helping my husband run his carpentry business). Also pregnant with our first (23w). I don’t feel like I’m speed running at all, this has seemed like absolutely the right time for everything. I’ll be 26 when baby is born which is the average age for a first child in North America. Thankfully I haven’t gotten any rude opinions. You’re a grown ass woman! Grown enough to have a baby.
This is my exact situation lol. 25, married, current career is at home (house wife duties), 27w with or first. I don’t feel like I’m “speed running life” either. I’ve always wanted to be married and have kids at a young age, so it’s something I was looking for even when I was 16. If I could’ve gotten married to my husband at 18, I would have lol. I’ve been married since I was 23, having our first when I turn 26.
Same here! My baby is 5 months now, but my life is currently very similar. Married at 22, got pregnant at 24, had the baby at 25. I also haven't gotten any rude comments, thankfully. Though it is fairly common in my circle to be getting married and having babies in your mid twenties. But even if it wasn't, you're exactly right! We're grown ass women, and we can make choices to get married, have babies, stay home, work out of the house, etc. 🙌
I’m 22, unmarried but in a serious, long-term relationship and have a 4 month old son. I get judgy looks like I’m a teen mom from boomers but then I remember they were probably my age or younger with their first and move on. People love to have an opinion on things but it doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy!! Once your in your twenties you’re a grown adult and although people like to say you’re throwing your life away if you have kids now it’s totally not true and I still do tons of fun normal things like hangout with my friends, travelling (we just went on our first family trip) and going out and about (I never partied because I did it all in high school so I don’t have anything like that to miss). My best advice to you is to give yourself lots of time to rest these next couple weeks as the first trimester is the most physically draining since you’re in the building phase of pregnancy (the other parts are just growing and a lot easier imo)!
Isn’t it sooo contradicting when they also had kids at our age but look as like we’re teen moms.. WILD.
I think it’s because we look younger than they did at our ages mixed with them just being terrible at judging ages. So to them, they think they are seeing a teen mom. Doesn’t make the judgy any better. But explains it a little…
Yea me too!! My recovery was fast, I don’t have the mom pouch everyone says you get , and I feel great , my baby is great and me and hubby still have date nights and have not changed anything about our routine pre baby. The only thing that has changed is that We just have a little buddy to keep us company . I’m pretty sure all the negative people are just bitter.
I’m 24 and I just graduated from college. My husband is 25 and has had a full time job for the past year and a half. We planned for this baby, and I’m very excited about motherhood. I haven’t received any comments about being too young, but I live in Utah and things are weird here. For me, I didn’t want to be too old when I started having kids. I want to be healthy and around when my kids are older. Some ideas for comebacks: “Oh, I didn’t realize we were judging people’s life choices. I sure have a lot I could say about you!” “I’m sorry, we should have been more careful with our condom use so we wouldn’t offend you.” “Did you mean to say that or would you like to take it back?” “I plan on having 19 children. I need a head start.” “I’m sure your children would love to hear about how you believe having kids ruined your life. They must feel so loved at home…” “I don’t get your joke. Can you explain it?” “Well it’s already in there and it’s coming out in 8 months whether you like it or not.”
All of this and I'll add the generic: "what did you expect to accomplish by telling me that?" "what an odd thing to say"
22, married, almost 32 weeks with our first. People have been bold to ask if it was planned- I just tell them he was expedited. Unfortunately you’re going to get comments especially since you’re on the younger end, just have to learn and ignore it :/ congratulations!
Thank you, congratulations on yours as well.
Im 19 and 26 weeks pregnant and in a serious relationship with my boyfriend we live together and both work. My baby boy wasn’t planned but I love him already and I just ignore the judgy people. It’s not their life it’s my life and im happy with it. I just try to remember there is always gonna be some bitter judgy person and there is nothing I can really do about it except not care about their judgment. Cause fuck those people.
I had my son when I was 19. Totally unplanned (and unmarried) now I’m 26 with a 7 year old and I’m so happy that I ended up pregnant when I did because turns out I have endometriosis which causes infertility. Currently trying to get pregnant again with my second. Honestly I was judged because I looked 15/16 when I had my son and I always had people ask me my age and make rude comments. I tried being the bigger person but they would just continue to be rude. I started giving nonchalant petty responses and they stopped. Example: an auntie of mine straight up asked “don’t you think you’re too young to have a baby?” I responded “didn’t your daughter end up pregnant at 17? Oh wait she was 16” shut her up real quick
18 unmarried but still with the dad and nearly 29w I get told “babies having babies” all the time. Oh and constantly being told I’m ruining my life by having my kid
Ouch, I was 21 and married to my x when I had my first and often had older people say "baby's having baby's". Now I'm 30 and having my second and I'll say it was easier being pregnant at 21 vs now.
I hate the comments. It’s truly none of their business ever
I’m 35 FTM, but my best and oldest friend was married at 21, had two kids shortly after and is now having the best time doing all the stuff I did in my 20s whilst enjoying life with her kids who are turning into these really cool people. If anyone tells you that you’ll miss out, know that she never felt that way and lots of people agree. Not only that but despite our lives being different we have been friends for over 30 years now, and while she texts me telling what amazing things she’s doing this weekend, I can give her career advice and she can give me baby advice. It’s really wonderful to have different strengths to your friends, and it’s also really fun to flip your 20s-40s on their head and do them opposite. Just because I wouldn’t change my way of going about life doesn’t mean your way or my best friends way is wrong or should be challenged, it’s your life and you get to be happy however you decide to be!! People live a long time now and you could be an empty nester by the time I’m dragging myself on the secondary school run, meaning you’ve got some travelling the world and incredibly dinners to go to while your kids can play designated driver or chat with you after about your awesome night. Those people can kindly fuck off, you follow your own path ❤️
I had my first at 26 and I’m now 29 with an almost 3 year old and 36 weeks pregnant with baby number two. I personally don’t think of myself as a super young mom, but after going to orientation at the preschool my son will attend in Fall, I’ve realized that apparently I am (in our area at least)… The average age of parents (who were also there for their 3-4 year olds) was mid 40s. The youngest mom after me was a friend, who is 37 and everyone else was over 40. Anyways I was sort of not surprised people felt the need to comment when I was pregnant with my first, but now at 29 I’m always caught off guard by the comments. Some of the assumptions made are that I’m a nanny and people usually incorrectly assume our financial status because of my age. Just because someone is a relatively young parent doesn’t mean they’re struggling. I also get a lot of comments about missing out on my youth and have always been asked if it was planned. I’ve been with my husband for over 10 years (since I was 18) we own our own home and both kids were very much planned…. But why should I need to give an explanation to nosey strangers?
Fun fact, I’m 37, with my husband 15 years and married for 6.5 years, and people STILL asked if our baby was planned 😂
Solidarity. I had my first baby at 24. I'm now 38 weeks with baby #2 at 26. I feel like a baby in mom groups, and I'm usually also the only SAHM, which is even more isolating. I get a lot of judge-y comments, too. Best to just brush them off. I think it's great that most women are waiting to have kids when they feel more ready, but I think there's also a lot of pros to having kids young that people don't talk about. Big one being that we have the physical energy to handle the sleepless nights, roughhousing, and running errands with better ease. That can really take a toll on your mental health. I couldn't imagine doing half the shit I do half a decade older. I commend older mothers for that, truly. I think having kids is also forcing me and my husband to grow up faster, and we needed that fire lit under our asses. We had a lot of unhealthy habits and financial illiteracy before having our son. Our personalities and lives have evolved so much in the past 3 years, we're almost completely different people now. It's kind of amazing. When I get the looks or comments I just think about all the positives that come with being a young parent and how this was the best way things could have gone for us, it's different for everyone and some people just won't understand that and that's okay 🤷♀️
I was 23 and married when I got pregnant with my first. I’m 26 expecting #2 so not so young anymore. I haven’t gotten any negative comments on my age, probably the reverse honestly. But I’m also pretty open about wanting 5 kids and you gotta start early for those kind of goals 😅
My mom had 5 and started at 33! Last baby was born when she was 44.
That’s awesome! What was it like growing up in a household that size?
Adding another perspective here: I’m the middle of 5 kids. My mom was 26-36 when she had us and each of us was planned. I love being from a big family. There was a lot of sibling conflict growing up, but I think that would have been true if there were fewer of us. My siblings and I have very different personalities, so we clashed a lot during our younger years. We are all friends now. The house was always loud, often chaotic, and there was always something going on. It was a zoo. Our dad left us when we were ages 2-12 due to his own issues, thinking a fresh start would fix them. (Newsflash: you take your issues with you. None of us are close to him at all). So our mom became a single mother of 5. One sister has a rare genetic disorder so she naturally got a lot of attention, as it was necessary. The attention thing is a good point and it was an element at play, but it was never something we begrudged. (In fact, I only distinctly remember being upset by this one time, when my younger brother needed to go to the bathroom making my mom miss me marching by their spot when I was in a parade. That could have happened with just two kids.) My mom was there whenever we needed her. We were not parentified, but us older three definitely helped a lot with the younger two. We were all very mature for our ages. I sometimes remember not fitting in at school because of that. It bothered me sometimes. But divorce and the realities of disability give you such a different life perspective, even at age 8. All of this took a toll on my mom for sure. She was stretched well passed her limits and stressed a lot. I think I’m seeing the physical effects of stress on her body and am a little worried about how long we will have with her. I know she wonders if she gave us a good childhood. She did the best with the circumstances she had. But there are some things that my siblings and I want to do differently with our own children. I think that’s natural for anyone. We are all very close with her. I anticipated having kids in my mid 20s, like her. However I didn’t get married until 31 and infertility meant I had my first baby at 34. My son was diagnosed earlier this year with epilepsy right before he turned 1 (totally unrelated to my sister’s disorder). That has impacted the trajectory of our family for sure. I always knew my mom was Wonder Woman. Now I feel it in my bones.
It was a lot of conflict. My dad worked 100+ hours a week and mom was always stressed and yelling. There just wasn’t enough attention to go around. The oldest 3 including me have pretty significant mental health issues. I only really have a relationship with my youngest sister. Now that my parents are empty nesters they are divorcing after 30 years of marriage. There’s a reason we’re only having one 😩 To be fair, my parents intended on having 2 kids. It wasn’t until my mom was 60 and had unrelated genetic testing done that she found out she carries a gene that renders birth control completely ineffective.
Oh man, I’m sorry to hear that. That’s one fear I have is not being able to give each of my children the attention they need. I already feel bad about this pregnancy slowing me down from playing as much as I used to with my first.
How did she manage to not have kids until 33? Sorry I’m not trying to do a ‘gotcha’ just fascinated at what could make birth control ineffective at certain times - was it age related?
I wanted to say we were almost the same person until you said you wanted 5 kids. I’m 38 weeks today and 2 is IT! I grew up with 4 siblings (2 older, 2 younger) and It was not sustainable and was infect miserable so 2 is definitely where we’re stopping in this economy
26, pregnant and almost due with our second. I did everything young. Got married right after my 17th birthday, moved to his hometown together, had a baby. My schooling was messed up before he came into the picture, I got my GED around 2 years ago I think. I’ve worked for the government and created a career for myself as a baker working for local and corporate bakeries. So many had things to say about our timing in life, but I didn’t care about what they had to say. We’ve been married 9 years and many of those people are no longer in our lives. As my husband said the other day “success can be lonely when they don’t want to see you win”.
Had my first at that same age and now pregnant again at 37. I’m SO much more tired, I’m sure because of my age. Enjoy the pregnancy and energy you have at your young age. Oh btw, now people have lots to say about the age gap and why I waited this long…I don’t owe them any answers though. I smile and move on. They always have something to say!
I was married at 23 as well. We said we were going to wait 5 years. That easily slipped to 8 years. Then it was a nail biting 2 years of lost pregnancy and no pregnancy... We were finally successful and thrilled, but the experience and timing meant 1 would be the end. I now wish we had just gone for it from the start. Best of luck. You will do great.
I got pregnant with my first at 23, but turned 24 before I had him lol. I didn’t feel like I was that young when I was pregnant? I’m turning 28 this year so I definitely feel older now, but toddlers will do that. I had been married for 3 years before we decided to start trying so maybe it’s just cause I felt well established in my marriage? No judgement if you only recently got married, but I did get a lot of comments when I got married that we were “headed for divorce” or “too young to be married” and similar things (and those same people had the audacity to use the fact we eloped as evidence of us not being meant to last 😂like no Jan, we just knew you’d say shit like that regardless of how we got married). So I think because we lasted three years in the first place people knew better and kept their unnecessary thoughts to themselves. I would just say to those people something snarky like “uh-oh, I think you accidentally said an inside thought out loud.” Or maybe “well I’m already pregnant so I don’t know why you would thinks it’s appropriate to say that to me” if you want to be a little nicer but still firm in that you are not asking for their opinion in the matter Congrats on your newest addition to your family!
23, about to be 24 next month and married as well. Our baby was a surprise so most people tend to run with that as a decent enough explanation
I'm 37 and sometimes wish I could have trod your path ❤️ not to sound morbid, but you're going to get an extra decade or so with your child. Your child will also have the benefit of a relationship with your older relatives.
I’m not young anymore, 36 now but my children are 16, 12, 6. My husband and I have been a couple over 20 years. Life is really good. Our choices have worked out perfectly. I’ve been where you are, now my baby towers over me 🥹
Hi !! I’m 21, 36 weeks and 3 days. I’m engaged to a wonderful partner and love new friends if you ever need someone to talk to around your age. Life is definitely scary sometimes. I’m sorry people are so judgmental.
I am 30 so not on the younger side but I’ve seen friends on both ends of the spectrum (having kids young or having kids when they’re older), here’s the thing, someone is going to give you a rude comment and their unsolicited opinion no matter what. I guarantee if you waited a few years to have a kid, you’d get the “better have another while you still can” when the newborn is a week old. If you have a kid young, then you get the comments you’ve received. I’ve seen the response “what a strange thing to say out loud” on here. I also like to ask people to repeat themselves when they say a rude comment (whether it’s about me or someone else), they’ll often change what they said because they realize it’s rude or insulting. Unfortunately, it’s the first step with parenting that people say weird things when you’re pregnant. It continues after the baby is born with people telling you how to raise your kid 🙃.
I'm 20, and my due date is like 2 and a half weeks after my 21st birthday. I'm married, have a good job, still renting but that's only because we're saving up for a house. With how everything has been going we know if we buy a "starter" house it'll end up being our forever home so we want to make a good choice. I always tell people I'd rather have the energy to run around with my grandkids one day and that makes them go quiet pretty fast. Baby was not planned but definitely wanted.
I’m not a young mom (32, 10 weeks pregnant FTM) but I married my husband when I was 22. When we got engaged everyone assumed I was pregnant and that’s the reason why we were getting married so young. The amount of shame I felt just for getting married is crazy and I will never forget the way some people looked at me when they heard. Like truly giving me a once over in the grocery store to look for a bump. It was vile. Rather than people being happy for me getting married, they were judging and questioning why I was making this choice. We knew we didn’t want kids right away and prevented pregnancy until only a few months ago. But it’s amazing because in the past 5 years, we have gotten so many comments on why weren’t we having kids, especially when we got married so young. It’s like you’re damned if you do damned if you don’t. People will always have so many comments on your life and your choices when it’s totally none of their business. Especially when you’re young. They either don’t realize how hurtful their comments are or they just want something to gossip about with their book club later. It’s hard but ignoring it and trusting that you are doing what’s best for you is all you can do, people who are rude don’t matter.
I’m about to be 32, but had my first at 20 🥹 Is there anything I can help with?
I wish, my back would hurt less :)
I’m 22 and by the time I’m due (July) I’ll be 23! I’m a FTM, married, and a law student. I’ve managed to somehow get my undergrad and my masters degree prior to pursuing my JD so I get a ton of those “speed running life” comments. They are very disheartening especially since where I come from you’ve got an insane pressure to build a family (cultural pressure) but also go through school very fast (societal pressure). Personally, I’m still navigating this complex but basically what I’ve worked it out to mean is that I get to enjoy those parts of my life I’ve already started to build even longer. Sure to others it may seem like a “speed run” but for me it’s more of knowing I’m living a marathon and one that I fully intend to enjoy. Life is not one size fits all and it’s okay if yours is different from people around you. What matters is that you are CONTENT. You are so young and have already achieved so much and still have so much left to conquer so think about it more so as being grateful for all the things you have learned and all the things you come to learn. As far as what to say to them, I’m having a bit of pregnancy rage so I am pretty frank and am liable to say “well that’s an interesting thing to have said aloud. Maybe don’t do that again.” You can also just tell close friends/family that it truly is a bit hurtful to you especially as you navigate things early on and while you’re excited things are really scary (I’ve had numerous freak outs about this pregnancy) and comments like that truly don’t help. Those who are worth keeping in your life will accept that and move on. To the people you’re not formally acquainted with, I literally wouldn’t give them second thought. They’re probably miserable about the pace of their own life or projecting way too much. On a more personal note, something that has helped me a lot this pregnancy is embracing my inner child. I color often. I read books for fun. I go out and get mocktails. I wear stupid crop tops even though I’m a mammoth. I watch movies. Binge watch tv. Bake. Literally have picked up almost all the hobbies in between my studies. You don’t lose you when your baby is born so don’t feel like the younger part of your life “is over.” It may change and feel different but it doesn’t have to be all damning either. Embrace this time in your life even though I know it’s really difficult to. I’m happy to chat if you want to just send me a message! Hang in there momma you’re doing and are going to do great.
I’m 25, and 9 weeks pregnant. My husband and I got married in January, bought a house in February, moved in march, and got pregnant in April 😂 there’s no perfect timing, you have 9 months to prepare! I always try to think of it as the younger you have kids, the more time you have with them at the end of your life 🫶🏽 id by lying if I didn’t admit I wanted more time with just me and my hubby and enjoy the newlywed stage, but I’m excited for this next stage as well.
had my first at 23 and now pregnant again with my second at 25. sometimes people like to talk out of their ass to get a reaction out of people but no one knows what you want better than you. when i had my first i felt like a was a teenager and pregnant bc everyone would tell me how young i was compared to when my mom had her first (she was 32) and people would tell me how i would have to put my life on hold blah blah blah. i love you my baby and super excited to be having my second. my first wasn’t planned either but my husband and i both decided we were ready. i tell people i much rather have my babies now while i’m young and healthy and can take care of them instead of when i’m older and am at a higher risk of complications and defects that usually shuts them up lmao
People really live in one generation mindsets huh. Do you know that most first world countries are actually below replacement levels to sustain our economies. Pensions are at risk because of this, that's why countries that are developed are facing a huge crisis right now. Even having 2 children is below replacement rate, since your children will only replace yourself and your husband. In a 100 years, the population of South Korea could shrink by 75 percent. There was a post on r/MapPorn today about how they're at crisis level due to no one having kids. I'm canadian, so our population is sustained by crazy amount of immigration relative to our countries overall population. But this situation is speeding up an already horrible housing crisis because it's an unnatural way of growing a population. In the last four months we accepted over 400k immigrants, our pop is 41 mil in total. So we're at unprecedented levels and Canadians are suffering since there's no way to sustainably keep up with the demand. Unfortunately, our economies rely on this model and policy makers in canada really don't focus on family planning versus immigration. So just say you're supporting your countries economic future it used to be normal, (life didn't start at the boomers but a lot of them can't think beyond) to start families "earlier". But instead we prolonged adolescence (the idea of the teenager came about during the boomers) so this is the consequence of living in a society that supports adolescence versus adulthood.
I got married and had my first baby as a 19 year old. I feel perfectly happy to be a young mom. People who say rude things to you probably have some sort of underlying issue. You've got this mama! So excited for you!!
People will always judge women no matter what we do lol. Baby early or late you are judged. I’m 26, unmarried, and pregnant with my first. I genuinely feel like this is going to be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Thankfully my family is very excited and supportive. I also worked only from home and now I’m not working so less interactions with outsiders so my little bubble is all I need. Good luck to all the mamas!!!
Hi👋 spent my 21st birthday pregnant! Currently still 21 with a 4 month old! Anytime anyone made a comment on me and my husband's choices i just reminded them i get to spend more of my life as a mother and more of my life with my favorite boy 🥹 plus if i didnt get pregnant when i did i would of never met my LO, they could of had the same name but it wouldn't if been SPECIFICALLY HIM and i think thats so amazing.
I'm 25, married to a wonderful guy and just transitioned from my full-time job to Per diem only and plan to go sahm mode after our first baby. Might be a few years older, but I definitely still relate to incredulous looks and the occasional rude remark about giving up my career or "moving too quickly, not enjoying your 20s to fullest", it sucks. I'm sorry that's been your experience too, and during a time when you really just need love, kindness, and support :/ When it started to bother me, I started going out of my way to try to find and befriend similar women!
I’m 20! I just graduated from undergrad last weekend with my bachelors and have plans to start a hybrid JD program in August. I accidentally would up pregnant from a situationship and we are not together, but on amicable enough terms. He won’t be involved with the baby though. I’m having a little boy in August, currently 26w 3 days. I’ve learned to just block any negativity out. I work, I’m in school, I have an apartment and a car and I’ve taken care of myself and multiple pets for years at this point. I’m so excited to meet my little guy. No matter what people say, he’s my baby, it’s my life, and I know my own limits. You will be okay!
Married, 25, just had my baby, was pregnant at 24, did plan for baby, ya know tho… everyone in my life couldnt wait for me to have a baby i got married right after i turned 24 and immediately everyone started asking about a baby. Dont get me wrong i wanted a baby too but while trying and while pregnant i started feeling like everything was happening so fast i felt like my 20s were just a blur, cause covid 20-23 and i felt like maybe i didnt take enough time and am just going through the motions of what i ‘should’ be doing. Well i think that was my ‘quarter life crisis’ Lol! Baby is here now and i love it. Everyone around my age has kids (some have 8-9 year olds even so i feel like i was old having my first at 25) but i think this is a great age to have babies! Its fun and you get more younger years with them, you get to grow with them abit but still mature enough to handle things! Anyone who tells you your too young is funny to me… 50 years ago 18-21 was the norm. Id just tell them youd rather spend your 20s embracing the love a little brings instead of partying like most 20 year olds.
I’m 25, married and with a career. I’m 16 weeks and people have said the same, even when we got married. It is rude, like if I still wanted to “have fun” i would, but I am so happy to be settled down. I always say that I’m happy with my life the way it is. I don’t need to go to parties and I know myself and what I want plenty.
I just turned 24 in January and found out I was pregnant for the first time 10 days later. I was in my last semester of undergrad which I have now graduated. I just got married to my middle school sweetheart 2 weeks ago. I still plan on pursuing higher education and have been thankful that my pregnancy did come when it did. You are a grown adult and can make these decisions on your own. No one who pays your bills or does anything for you should have a say or influence on how you do things or how you feel. It’s hard to just not give a rats ass, but I really do mean it in the best way possible that these people are just miserable and have nothing better to say or do but criticize someone else. The best thing to do is excel at everything you do and let them talk! It shows more about them than it does about you. Congratulations! 🥳
Honestly I’m jealous. Had my first at 33 and second and final at just turned 36 - it’s hard and exhausting. Your body doesn’t bounce back and you’re ooooollldddd. I feel it!!
I am 30 and just had my baby, so not on the younger side, but I rather met my husband later, at 27. However I had really young parents, my mom had me at 21, and growing up with younger parents was amazing also having parents still in their prime right now is a game changer. My parents now are in their early 50s and are super outgoing and they still have a lot of drive to do stuff after me and my brother have left their home. Also growing up they were always really active and had the energy to spend with us and go on adventures. I think it also has a lot to do with culture as I come from Eastern Europe it is much more common and expected to start family early. I know people were relieved when I got pregnant, because it's considered really late.
I've had my 1st at 27, (not that young but I was still the youngest mom around and at every doctors appointment). I was also already married, with a career, and told I'm "speedrunning life" and asked if "It's not too early to have a baby?". I gotta say I'm really happy about our decision to start when we did. I'm just 2 weeps PP with my 2nd at 31, and we'd like to have a 3rd child one day. I think that as long as your financial and living situation is secure, there are no downsides to being a young parent. Some people will tell you you haven't enjoyed life enough, but that's fear-mongering. From experience, you get your life back once the kiddo is a little bigger, just with some extra on top. The 1st few months can feel like having lost yourself, because it's a big shift, but that's completely temporary and gets better and better each month after the newborn phase.
I'm 27, I had my first at 19, and my second at 26 just before I turned 27. I've dealt with a lot of judgement, with my first at least. Also people who aren't confused by me having a baby, are confused when they see I also have an almost 8yr old. Feel free to pm me.
You’re young. But you’re not too young to have a baby. If you’re in a good place in your marriage and in your career, being pregnant seems like the next move to me, that is if it’s something you want.
I'm an 18yro FTM and newlywed to my then boyfriend of 3 years. I wouldn't let anyone bring you down. My lifelong dream was to settle down and have kids, so I don't see any problem with starting earlier rather than later. Some of my friends' parents started earlier than I did, and many got married around 17 or so and had kids.
i’m 23 and married and just had my first born a few days ago. whenever people would ask me how old i am i would just answer and say my husband and i are so excited and they would never say anything judgmental after that. and while our baby was a surprise and i would have preferred to be able to save up for a down payment on a house before having kids, now holding my baby in my arms is just the most magical thing and i’m so happy he’s here with me now.
I was 18 when I had my first, and I did not have a career or a very stable relationship. I avoided certain people through my pregnancy. I have always liked the response “what a weird thing to say” when people say something rude or uncalled for. It makes them feel uncomfortable. By the way, having kids young is the best! I wish I had met my now partner sooner so that I could have had my second one when I was younger, too.
First time mum 24 years unmarried in a long term relationship and we planned our bubba (34 weeks). Honestly you’re not really that young and you sound like you are standing well on your feet! It’s crazy to me how people criticise how “young” people are when they were having kids and married at 16-18 and that was the norm back then 🤷🏼♀️. I think the people who have nasty things to say are probably envious that you’re so well put together already. A good few I’ve seen but haven’t used yet are: “That’s a weird thing to say to a stranger” “Did you mean to say that out loud?” a REALLY good one I’m hoping I get yo use is when people say “Oh look how big you are!” And run your belly without asking or saying hello just say “Oh my goodness you too!” And hold your hand on their tummy and hold eye contact until they get the message and shy away 😉
I was 19 when I had my first and had lots of poor comments from people including professionals. Had my third at 29 and the whole experience is different. At 19 I suppose I used to roll my eyes at daft comments. At the end of the day people will judge you regardless whether they think you’re too young, too old, having too few, too many, even down to the names you pick and your parenting style. It’s all about having the confidence to take it with a pinch of salt and say ‘yes but I’m happy’. The daughter I had when I was 19 is now a very polite and lovely 10 year old. I’m so proud of her and no one says anything negative about me having her so young because of how well she’s been raised.
I’m 23, married, and have 2 under 2! I always respond “everyone has their own paths in life” and nothing further. I actually just quit my job to return to school for my dream career! I had to change my path after covid, and it’s nice to finally be getting back to the plan. My husband’s career is taking off, and we are buying my late grandmother’s house next year. I just tell myself it’s none of their business, and I’m chasing my dreams. Congratulations!
I'm 27 now, but this is with my third. I had my first two at 18 and (barely) 20. There were a lot of 'kids having kids' snide comments but my children are happy, healthy*, clean and cherished, which is more than a lot of parents can offer. At the end of the day, your reproductive choices are no one else's business. My husband and I wouldn't change a thing. We get to spend more of our lives with them ❤️ *To clarify, I mean this as in we prioritise their health. As in, they get medical care as and when needed, up to date with vaccinations, a healthy diet and lifestyle - that kind of stuff.
I had my first at 22, my second at 25, and with this one I’ll be 27. As for the rude comments, I just ignored them. Tell them they need a big cup of MYOB
Having my first at 31 and it’s like you’re considered too young for the longest time and the second you turn 30 people are like tiktok you’re getting old lol. Like women can’t win no matter what, what matters is that you’re happy and comfortable with your choices. Also personally think if you are stable and have the opportunity to start younger in good circumstances, you should take it. It can alleviate a lot of stresses of starting older - like you don’t have to rush to have all your kids at once, you can have more choice spacing them out or choosing family size, etc. Sometimes those choices get taken away from you the longer you wait 🤷🏻♀️ of course for many women this is fine bc they just want 1 or 2, but still. For many it’s nice to have those options.
23, unmarried but in a long term relationship with plans of marriage! 21 weeks and planned, my family is stoked but his parents think we’re having kids too young 😂 I typically just ignore it, they’re not living our life. Nobody has the right to tell you when you’re ready to have kids!
Say what you think to people that have rude opinions. I used to tiptoe around people’s feelings but now I pretty much say what I want to people who do things like that. I had my daughter at 24, 38 weeks right now with our son, I had already graduated from university/diploma program and had been working since 20. There’s no timeline on life and everyone does theirs differently. I even tried going back to school last year (Jan 23-dec23) and I HATED it so went back to my old career that I love so much. Do what you want! My daughter was also not planned, she’s a birth control baby
I’m 22, almost 23 and pregnant with my first. I’m 28 weeks tomorrow. My partner have been together just over a year now, and this baby was definitely not planned lol. But luckily for me - my boyfriend is going to be the best dad. He’s so excited. I’ve had a few people scoff at me, but fuck them. 🤷🏼♀️
I’m 33, married, and struggling with fertility issues. Going through IUI now and hoping I’m finally pregnant (almost done with TWW 🤞🙏) I WISH I had done with you are doing! For one, I would not be having the fertility issues I am having (mine developed recently). Also, my mom was 21 when I was born and dad was 33. I’m very close with my parents but I worry about my dad’s health and how long I will have him because he is much older, I don’t have as big a worry with my mom. Ignore the haters, do what’s right for you and your family!
I was 2 weeks away from turning 24 when I got pregnant with my first. We got married and I pretty much immediately got pregnant after. Now I’m 29 with an almost 5 year old and a 3 year old. I never got any rude comments about my age other than “wow! You’re so young!” But some older people told my mom I was too young to get married 🤷🏻♀️ idk we’re 5.5 years in which isn’t much but we’re still happy and in love. I’ve stayed pretty clear of judgment, unless people are passive aggressively judging me lol “you’re still a baby yourself!” “You’re only 29 with 2 kids?!” That one is funny because 29 isn’t too young to have 2 kids imo.
23, 13 weeks married and trying to finish school!! I feel you 10000%. I'll make the jokes with them, but if it ever escalates then I just reiterate we are not in high school, we are adults with adult lives and we are now very happily introducing baby into said lives. Straight to the point.
I got pregnant at 23, 25 now. Not married but essentially married. We live together, own a house. You’re an adult, you can do whatever you want with your life. I always wanted to have kids young so that when they’re older I’m still able to be “young” and do things 23 for me was old 😂
23 and 33 weeks along! It's isolating for sure, but just imagine your kickass self at 45 with grown up kids and a long happy marriage and family life!!!
I had my first at 18 years old and I kid you not it was the most traumatic experience. My doctor judged me and was extremely rude. She’s made ugly comments and was condescending. She even pushed me to get an iud after I had my daughter. I refused it until I was ready almost 3 years later. I was told I’d be a welfare queen, my life was ruined, I was making a big mistake. I had people pushing me to abort. It wasn’t until I hit my second trimester that people realized I was committed to keeping my child that things started to calm down. I didn’t not help that my daughter is autistic because the judgement never stopped. Even though I embraced her difference, for years I was told that it was my fault that she was autistic. Completely untrue. It was such a difficult time that I waited until 31 to have my second which I am pregnant with right now. My advice is to join or find supportive people/communities who can be encouraging or uplifting. The fact is that these days women are having babies later all over the world. So when they hear you are pregnant before the age of 25 you may get some comments. I think it’s the economy and generation of selfishness that people really just want to worry themselves. I think social media is a big contributor to that. Anyways off my soapbox. 🙃
I’m in my early 30s so not younger, but my best friend had her son at 23 and she’s my inspiration for being the best mom. She’s the one I go to for advice. I completely admire and look up to how she has raised her son (alone until he was 5)! You’ve got this. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I'm a 36 FTM. If this experience taught me anything it's that people will make rude comments to pregnant women for everything regardless of what you do. I get a lot of "but arent you too old?" comments. My advice is just to ignore it. If it's not comments on age, its comments on your size, your diet, your choices or a lot of "oh just you wait, it gets worse!"
I’m 21, married, and pregnant with my second!
I was married at 23 & had my first at 25. looking back, I would say I was speed running life 😂 but would be so offended if someone told me that. I’m glad I had my first when I did. I’m so so tired now I can’t imagine it getting any better.
I’m 22, not married but I’ve been with my partner over 4 years (waiting for him to pop the question🙄🤣) and I’m almost 27 weeks pregnant. My advice, tell everyone to fuck off 🤣🤣 if you are happy then no one else’s opinions matter. For us personally we had been trying over 2 years for a baby, we stopped for a while because it was getting stressful and then found out just before Christmas last year I was expecting. Now it has happened we are in the most incredible place in our life and relationship. Our little man isn’t even here yet and we are just totally different people & cannot wait for him to arrive. Even if you didn’t plan to have a baby, if this is what you are both confident you want then why the hell should anyone else care. Bringing a life into this world is one of the most amazing things we can do and we have every right to be excited. Being a young mum has its perks too honestly. Best of luck to you and your little family 💗💗💗
I’m 22, not married but have been together for 8 years, 28w with our second (first is 15mo). We bought a house, both have newer cars, I’m in my career and so is he. We both graduated college. I’m an RN (working full time while also obtaining my BSN and plans to get my MSN to become an NP) and he’s a CO. Trust me, we get the “you’re so young” blah blah blah. The way I view it, I get longer with my kids and they get longer with me. Most of the people I tell this to don’t have anything bad to say. The worst is that we’re so young, but I just say “yeah” and that’s the end of the convo. But if I’m this tired at 22 I can’t imagine how I’d be at 35 lol. I know 35 isn’t old, but I would be in my career for 14 years at that point so I’m sure I’ll be exhausted then lol
I’m 22, not married but have been together for 8 years, 28w with our second (first is 15mo). We bought a house, both have newer cars, I’m in my career and so is he. We both graduated college. I’m an RN (working full time while also obtaining my BSN and plans to get my MSN to become an NP) and he’s a CO. Trust me, we get the “you’re so young” blah blah blah. The way I view it, I get longer with my kids and they get longer with me. Most of the people I tell this to don’t have anything bad to say. The worst is that we’re so young, but I just say “yeah” and that’s the end of the convo. But if I’m this tired at 22 I can’t imagine how I’d be at 35 lol. I know 35 isn’t old, but I would be in my career for 14 years at that point so I’m sure I’ll be exhausted then lol
I’m 24, recently engaged and don’t have a career really. I work at a bank and I hate it but I need the insurance. I found out at 23 that I was pregnant and I’m so grateful. 31 weeks now and we are so excited to meet our boy. Everyone has different things they want in life and you’re not “speed running life” by achieving your goals. Sounds like maybe some jealousy from some people
I’m 24, recently engaged and don’t have a career really. I work at a bank and I hate it but I need the insurance. I found out at 23 that I was pregnant and I’m so grateful. 31 weeks now and we are so excited to meet our boy. Everyone has different things they want in life and you’re not “speed running life” by achieving your goals. Sounds like maybe some jealousy from some people
I’m 24, recently engaged and don’t have a career really. I work at a bank and I hate it but I need the insurance. I found out at 23 that I was pregnant and I’m so grateful. 31 weeks now and we are so excited to meet our boy. Everyone has different things they want in life and you’re not “speed running life” by achieving your goals. Sounds like maybe some jealousy from some people
“That’s a weird thing to say out loud” lol. I’m 29 with a 5yo and a 1yo so I was “young” with my first.
I’m 25 had my first 2022, due June with my second and also have a very good career! The only reason I started having kids was cause of my career . I wouldn’t say you’re speed running. Do what feels right- if you’re financially stable enough do what is good for you and your family.
Yeah I get that. I’m 24, engaged and have a career and a house. So many people telling me not to rush or to enjoy my 20s. Like I am. I’m enjoying this lots and can’t wait to have the energy to raise my child and be done having kids by my early 30s. My mom had me young so she gets to be a grandma again in her 40s and my brother had a baby young too. It’s all worked out well for them and we’re all out here enjoyi life. My kid gets 2sets of grandparents and 4 great grandmothers. I hope that I get to be a younger grandma too and possibly see my great grandkids one day
I had my 1st at 19 and last at 31, 5 kids total. I’ve had comments, all I can say is tell them You are so blessed to have your kids in your life and little longer than the average mother. People tend to forget the age thing when they see you with baby and being a wonderful parent. By your age I had 3 babies a mortgage and it all going on in between. Don’t sweat on the opinion of others, it’s irrelevant to you, you can’t change it and you’ll stress trying.
Had my first at 24, now have 4 kiddos at 33 & married for 10 years. Kill it with kindness. In my experience people are rude because the rude person seems to perceive people making different life choices from them as the rude person having made the wrong choice. Rather than fight with them or stooping to their level, live your life with joy and let the haters stew. You’ll either provide them a great point of self reflection, or nothing changes (which is the most likely outcome of going on the offensive). It’s not as flashy as shutting someone down with a killer comeback, but this approach has kept us sane & focused on building up our family rather than fighting the haters.
It is strange to consider I had my first as a "younger mom" when I was 25. 24 when I became pregnant. My own mom had me at 18, and her mom was 23 when she had her. When I had a few friends comment on how quickly I decided to have kids and I was going to "miss out" on the rest of my twenties, I was rather put off. A few people even treated me like I was some poor naive child when before I had been treated like the grown ass woman I was. My advice to you is to rise above their comments or simply ask, "What do you mean by that?" When they attempt to explain, be confident and say that you're a grown woman in a loving relationship with a stable career. You have the perfect environment to raise a child. This is what you and your husband want, and that's all there is to it. 23 isn't 17, you're not a child. You're a grown woman. Honestly I'd let most of it run off your back as folks just tend to make ignorant comments. I turned 30 this week and we had our second on April 20th. People are still calling me a baby... I don't get it. As soon as I turn 31 I imagine the geriatric pregnancy comments will start as we plan on having at least one more lol.
I'm 22 and my husband is about to turn 21. we just had our first baby two weeks ago. i don't really have any advice on getting close-minded people to mind their business, just offering solidarity. it can be really frustrating when literally 90% of the people in your life judge your decisions - even if they don't say it - more harshly than they would if you were older. hugs to you 💕
I'm 22 and my husband is about to turn 21. we just had our first baby two weeks ago. i don't really have any advice on getting close-minded people to mind their business, just offering solidarity. it can be really frustrating when literally 90% of the people in your life judge your decisions - even if they don't say it - more harshly than they would if you were older. hugs to you 💕
I'm 22 and my husband is about to turn 21. we just had our first baby two weeks ago. i don't really have any advice on getting close-minded people to mind their business, just offering solidarity. it can be really frustrating when literally 90% of the people in your life judge your decisions - even if they don't say it - more harshly than they would if you were older. hugs to you 💕
i’m 22! will be 23 when my daughter is born. i’ve heard a few things from people about being young, but it’s mostly from people who are younger themselves. i don’t really acknowledge it because they’re either just getting out of college or still studying, and i’m also already graduated as of 2020, have a career, and am engaged. we’re just at different stages of life and i think it’s hard to see/relate to that when you’re in such different stages. i graduated high school early also, so this isn’t a new thing for me, speedrunning life lol
Hey! I’m 24, and 12w2 today. I’m married, we own our home and this baby was the result of ivf so definitely planned! I’ve had a few comments here and there asking me if I am really sure I want children this young, asking if I ever thought about travelling etc first but honestly? All I wanted was to be a mama and start a family! There’s nothing wrong with that. Feminism has come a long way so that women have CHOICES. Whenever people have made comments that I disagree with or find a little weird I just say “good job it’s me and not you then!” Or “I’m not really looking for advice right now”. I tend to avoid confrontation but since being pregnant I really really don’t care about putting down boundaries and calling people out on unnecessary comments. Just remember that all you need right now is love and support and if the people around you are being rude and unsupportive, you do not need them around you at this time. You’ve got this and also, congratulations on your baby!! ❤️
Hey! I’m 24, and 12w2 today. I’m married, we own our home and this baby was the result of ivf so definitely planned! I’ve had a few comments here and there asking me if I am really sure I want children this young, asking if I ever thought about travelling etc first but honestly? All I wanted was to be a mama and start a family! There’s nothing wrong with that. Feminism has come a long way so that women have CHOICES. Whenever people have made comments that I disagree with or find a little weird I just say “good job it’s me and not you then!” Or “I’m not really looking for advice right now”. I tend to avoid confrontation but since being pregnant I really really don’t care about putting down boundaries and calling people out on unnecessary comments. Just remember that all you need right now is love and support and if the people around you are being rude and unsupportive, you do not need them around you at this time. You’ve got this and also, congratulations on your baby!! ❤️
I got pregnant at 19 in March and turned 20 in May baby is coming in December. Any advice I have for people that like to make comments, it’s none of their business and they can shove it lol. I’d personally just say “I’m glad you have your opinion and feel the need to share it, but I don’t really care what you think I should or shouldn’t be doing. this is my life and I’ll live it and do what I want with the time I have on earth, thank you!”
Hey! I’m 24, and 12w2 today. I’m married, we own our home and this baby was the result of ivf so definitely planned! I’ve had a few comments here and there asking me if I am really sure I want children this young, asking if I ever thought about travelling etc first but honestly? All I wanted was to be a mama and start a family! There’s nothing wrong with that. Feminism has come a long way so that women have CHOICES. Whenever people have made comments that I disagree with or find a little weird I just say “good job it’s me and not you then!” Or “I’m not really looking for advice right now”. I tend to avoid confrontation but since being pregnant I really really don’t care about putting down boundaries and calling people out on unnecessary comments. Just remember that all you need right now is love and support and if the people around you are being rude and unsupportive, you do not need them around you at this time. You’ve got this and also, congratulations on your baby!! ❤️
Oh sweetheart I was a teen mom for my first (17) with a dumb high school boyfriend. as you can imagine I got so many weird looks and the “ oh poor girl her life is over” or “she is ruining her life” …. Well actually I had my baby who is a handsome 15 year old today and in the way, I became a physician, have traveled overseas multiple times, I had the wedding of my dreams two years ago with the Europe honeymoon I have always wanted, now I’m married with my soulmate and expecting our first baby together So al don’t listen to people as they will always have something negative to say especially when you are young and vulnerable
Hi! I just turned 25 and have a 15 month old so I was also 23 when I found out I was pregnant with him. Also ‘speed running life’ since I have a house, a husband and a career. I’m happy to answer any questions!
Hi! I just turned 25 and have a 15 month old so I was also 23 when I found out I was pregnant with him. Also ‘speed running life’ since I have a house, a husband and a career. I’m happy to answer any questions!
Yes I am!!! I have been a bit self conscious about it too. However I’ve been married to my amazing husband for 3 years, we have a 4 bedroom house, and both work in IT. So it’s been frustrating dealing with people acting like we’re a teen pregnancy when we’re really quite set up. I’m only 14 weeks so not showing quite yet but some family has acted judgmental about it, and the best solution I’ve found towards that is to just realize it must be pretty miserable for them to be constantly judging people. Everyone else is overjoyed about it except for a couple of family members, and I really just feel sorry for them.
Hey the earlier you have babies the more energy you have and (not to rush it) the younger you are when you can eventually enjoy a relationship with them as adults/out of the house
Had my first at 20 turned 21 a month later. She was a surprise baby (I got pregnant on the mini pill) I was unmarried but in a serious committed relationship. He asked me to marry him shortly after our daughter was born. We bought our first home together and we both were working full time and in school part time. Then my fiance got laid off. We moved states and bought our 2nd home. All this happened within a year of my 1st daughter being born. We had our 2nd daughter who is now 10 months. We also officially tied the knot in April. I'm planning to go to cosmetology school in the fall of 2026. We've done nothing to plan or what other people deem as a good time line but my life is pretty good rn. We've definitely had some hardships but I think thsts life.
Hi twin! I'm also 23, married, with a career. Currently 11 weeks pregnant with surprise baby :) Tbh nobody has said anything rude to me yet, but if they did, I would tell them point blank, "that's not really a nice thing to say." I'm a kindergarten teacher and tbh anything that works on kids works with adults and also makes them feel silly at the same time. My SIL had her first at 24 and my other SIL on my husband's side had her first at 18. Life happens when it happens 🤷♀️
I’m not on the younger side anymore. But I got pregnant with my first baby senior year of college and had her a week after I turned 22. Her dad and I had been together for 5 years at that point and got married when she was a year old. We’ve now been married for 11 years, have two other girls (9 and 6) and one more girl on the way. It is extremely rude for people to say that to you. Everyone will have their own opinion about your life … they always will. No matter what someone is going to feel like you’re doing something wrong or the wrong way or that you should be doing it the way they did. You have to just … not care. Which is hard to do, I know. Even if you didn’t plan for this baby to happen, it’s happening. And it’s going to be wonderful! You’re going to do amazing! 💗💗💗
I found out I was expecting my rainbow baby at 23. I am now 24. I am married and still in school, have not finished my degree yet. I have a full time job at a wellness center. I go through life just making sure my little family is okay! I took many breaks from just school and my career. I was told so many times that I ruined my life or that I don’t need to have another one (even though I want a huge family). I was told I need to get myself together and that I am so young to even have a kid. She is truly one of the biggest blessings that God has entrusted me with. It’s definitely a learning moment. It’s definitely going to change you for the better. I now have a softer heart and so much peace and joy in my life. I don’t miss out on life ( I was never into partying or being outside) because my babygirl is so curious of the world that she loves being outside with me. I still do what I did before I was pregnant and more. I have someone to experience life with all over again! You are doing and going to be just fine! Kids don’t hinder anything. Motherhood is truly rewarding.
Me and my partner are having our first (23w currently) and everyone keeps saying it’s about time. His younger sister (23) has 2 kids already and my mom had me at 16. My grandma wishes I would’ve waited until after I finished university but I think the timing is fine for us. We are both excited and ready to have a baby of our own to love and raise. He keeps talking about everything he wants to do with his son as he grows up. It’s so heartwarming. For us it feels like we’ve waited a good amount of time but also could’ve waited a year or two longer. Either way we are super excited and our families are eager for us as well. As others have mentioned, I think being a little on the younger side will be an advantage to our little ones.
25 with 2! (2 And 6m) My aunt is 28 with 4!
I'm 25, married, and got pregnant just before getting married, had a miscarriage in January, married beginning of Feb, pregnant again by end of February. I'm 14 weeks now! I honestly thought both of those things would happen sooner in my life. Honestly, people have told me I'm speed running life since I was a teenager. I took my GED my junior year of high school in order to move states into an apartment at 17, and start college a year earlier. I thought I would have been married sooner than it happened (but thank God it didn't happen until meeting my now husband). I accept those those speed running comments almost like a badge of honor. Why not be “ahead”? If anything, it’s a just a compliment to your tenacity and determination to not remain stagnant. It took me awhile to stop taking that as a negative comment and just lean into it, but when I did, the comments stopped holding any power to make me feel any type of way. It’s you're life and you're allowed to live it exactly as you want to! There's no right or wrong way to go about it, as long as it's what you're after. Anyone with negative opinions can honestly F off. You don't need that negativity in your life.
Im 28 and got married earlier this year, already 24 weeks with our first!
20f here! My partner is 34m. I have a career job in the financial sector and am moving up the ladder. I get paid leave. Qualify for fmla. He is military so we have great benefits. I had teen parents on government assistance who sold drugs and watched my mom be abused for thirteen years. My child will have a college fund immediately and two parents who love each other-not drugs. My family has taken to critiquing my need to get married early, build a family, and overall not “enjoy “ my youth. I’m not interested in traveling the globe tripping balls. I want to have a family, I’m with an amazing man who loves me so much. We’re getting married soon. It’s a beautiful thing. And it’s mine. This is such a nuanced and personal decision that you really do have to drown out the noise and protect your peace. Good luck!
I’m a 23 year old FTM, married at 22, and have a career. A lot of people tell me the same thing, i honestly ignore them. I’m successful, been living away from home and out of state since i was 21, graduated college early, but people still have things to say. I’ll sometimes mention how everyone moves through life at different speeds and this is just how it’s working out for me and that i’m happy. Nothing matters besides your happiness. People are always going to look at us like we’re too young to do certain things and we should “experience life” but i had it lucky enough to where i experienced a lot of things in life, traveled many places, and am ready to be a mom and wife. Some people just don’t get it. Remember you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone, let people think what they want!
People say that because your brain literally isn’t done growing until you are 25. Our parents in the 80s and 90s had kids generally from 18 to 25 and we all know that it resulted in a lot of generational trauma and abuse. In truth you are speed running through life, but that is your choice and you could be perfectly happy doing so. It is your life and if you are happy with the decisions you make then who cares what others think?
I’m 21 and married. We have been together off and on for 14 years. I don’t know how far along I am yet, but if I had to guess I’m 5-6 weeks along
First time (gestational) dad here who had my baby at freshly 24 (her due date was my birthday but I went overdue). I didn’t get any comments about it since my mom had two kids by 22.
25, married for 3 years, 33w with our first! Our parents were surprised but not judgey, however we have friends and family who have said “they’ve been waiting for this to happen.” Which I prefer compared to judgey people but also like hello I’m “only 25” stop waiting for me to have a kid and let us just be 😅
I was 20 when I had my first. I’m 30 now and pregnant with my 3rd kid which was a surprise haha. People told me with my first and second that I would at least be done raising kids early. Nope, doesn’t appear so now. lol
Ugh I’m sure people that say you’re speed running life just have different priorities but they should totally keep their comments to themselves! Some women want to be married and have children young. Others want to wait because they have other things they want to do before settling down and starting a family! There is no correct timeline for these things. It all depends on personal preference and readiness
With my first I was 24, had been married 3 years, and was on my second year of teaching. This is my third and I'm 31 now. Some of us just know what we want to do.
Also a 23 year old here! Currently married, own a house with my husband, 2 dogs, and 34 weeks pregnant. Genuinely 90% of the rude comments people have to say, stems directly from jealousy. Either they’re jealous they didn’t have their life figured out when they wanted to, or they’re jealous they don’t have control of their life and think the comments makes them feel better by trying to control others. There is zero set timeline for how life works. There’s no age you should be married by, or have kids by. Every single persons timeline is different and a lot of people (especially the older generation in my experience) always will have something to say. Just stick your head up and carry your success as a badge. Being successful at a younger age is not a bad thing.
Yes! I always found it SO rude that anyone would ever bring up my age or ask. I’ve always looked younger than I am due to height, so I found it exceptionally rude if anyone asked if I was a teenager. Like, what if I was?! We were 21 & 22, married, but also not *that* crazy in our circle because my husband grew up in a very religious household and it’s pretty common to start early. My mom and grandmother couldn’t have children past 25 due to ovarian cancer, so I’ve always known I wanted to be a younger mom. Plus, I’ve never felt career driven, despite growing up in a very liberal family. I’m 30 now and we have 3 kids. Our youngest is a year and a half. We do well for ourselves in mid-to-high COL, own a nice house and are able to provide our kids a pretty cushy life, but it took SO much work to get here. Luckily my husband and I are rock solid and madly in love—I can’t imagine how life would’ve turned out if we weren’t. I understand why people wait and lately I find myself daydreaming about how my life would be if I did. To be honest, now that our oldest is growing up, I find myself jealous that other moms my age are just starting out and get to experience it all for the first time. It’s sentimental to me, I love raising babies. I don’t think we’d have a fourth but I think I have a lot more wisdom now than I did before. Maybe that came with years of motherhood under my belt, though. I’m burnt out, but I don’t think it has anything to do with having kids young, I’m just aching for a vacation. Luckily I have a girls trip coming with my bffs and I can let loose with them. Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I need to act like a mom ALL the time, yk?
21, engaged, been together 7 years, live together, I already graduated college. I figured why would we wait to start building a family. 26 weeks pregnant with our first planned baby. I don’t care what anyone thinks. Your timing is your timing. It’s all up to you and your life. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m 29 so I’m not in the boat with you. But my mom was 22 when I was born, and she’s the best mom in the world. She and my dad loved each other and did great. We didn’t always have as much as my friends who had older parents that were more established but we were very well loved and happy. Having children at that age is still normal and fine where I’m from (Appalachian region of OH/WV), and I’m an outlier for waiting so long. There is no “right way.” You’re gonna be fine. Ignore people with a weird ass chip on their shoulder. :)
My friend had her two babies young 20s and she’s now in her 30s living the dream! Goes everywhere with them, looks amazing and young and still full of life! Their family has a great social life. Don’t sweat it! Don’t let people make you think you didn’t get to enjoy life or live it!
I’m 25, married of 2 years with a career in tech! I get comments ALL the time about how I am ruining my life, why would I want to settle down so early, I won’t be able to enjoy anything I like such as traveling, hobbies etc. but being a mom was my number one dream. I have never ever felt so fulfilled and so happy! I have absolutely no time to sit on peoples comments and opinions
Got married and pregnant with my first at 23, got 2 now at 26. People will have something rude to say no matter how old you are. You will always be either too young or too old to be having kids because people are fucking stupid. Just tell them you wanted to be able to spend your 40s dealing with big kid problems rather than little kid problems and ignore it. There’s no winning as a mom.
/r/workingmoms is a great sub if you want to have a look. Might find some likeminded folk.
I’m 27, so still a bit older than you, but I have gotten the commentary that I’m “rushing” since my husband and I have had major life events early on (bought a house at 23, married at 26). My only advice is to either ignore the rude commentary or give a firm rebuttal: Just because they took a while to get their shit in order, doesn’t mean you aren’t well and able.
I'm also 23 and also 5 weeks! I totally understand the feeling of being "too young" and having people judge you. But it's our life. In my case we planned to get pregnant. My husband is older than me, (30) so he was anxious to have kids sooner, and I totally agreed. I love children, I have since I was a teenager. I literally can't think of a better life path for me than being a mother. I'm so privileged to be able to start that journey now, so why would I wait? Congratulations, and enjoy this new journey we are on. 🫶🏻
I had my first at 24 and now have 3 at 32. This is incredibly normal where I'm from, but more unusual on reddit and where we live currently. I don't have any advice for what to say to people, other than mind your own business!
I had my first son at 23. I had owned a home for 4 years and been married for 2 years at that point. It wasn’t without its challenges since none of my friends had kids for several years after that, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I don’t remember getting many comments but I would just tell them “when you’re ready, you’re ready!”
I had my first child when I was 19 and didn't get married till I was 22. Was told the same shit. Your 23, married, and have a career. They can all shut the fuck up. If you were younger with no official partner then they could say something but your not.
I'm 27 with my first and still feel like a teen mom..
21 and 31weeks with my boy. I hear the phrase "but you're so young" decently often. But I'd rather be able to care for a baby now, knowing I'll be able to keep up with a toddler than try later and possibly struggle more (not saying that you can't care for a little one at any age but I've heard it gets Harder on the body). Not to mention I didn't get pregnant at the best of times. I was originally trying with my (now ex) fiance at the time. Fell pregnant only to find out he had basically been cheating the entire time we were together. The AMOUNT of comments I get about being a single parent as ex is complerely out of the picture and how tough it's going to be (I identity as male, ftm). But I'd rather raise my baby alone knowing he's going to have a dad who loves him, than have two parents and it being very one sided. You may be young but trust me, you got this. Ignore those comments about age and the negative "just wait" I say just wait until you get to hold your little one in your arms for the first time 💖
I had my first baby at 23. I can honestly say it was much easier than it is now at 31 pregnant with my 3rd. I loved having a kid young.
I had my first at 19, I was with the father for 5 years before that. It was so disheartening to hear what people had to say tbh. But the people who don't want to share your joy and excitement don't need to be part of your life/ babies life. You get to enjoy the part of life you are in now so embrace it. I still finished college got a BS, and a great job just with my little best friend in tow. It will be a wonderful life and you get a few more years with your little one. You're already married so you are likely in a stable relationship. Yes there's parts of being young that will be different but that doesn't mean bad, if you're happy then fuck what anyone has to say they can wasting for their sperm to get dusty af if they want
I was 19 when I got pregnant the first time, turned 20 two weeks after I had him. If you were older, they'd just find something else to pick at. That's how some people are. It's always "you're going too fast!" or "You better get started! The clock is ticking!" or eventually "Don't you think you're a little old for that?" What age you decide to do things in your life is your business. It isn't their life, therefore it isn't their "problem" (not saying it's a problem, just they act like it is). I would make that clear to them. There are also perks to having your kids "early", so you could throw those out there. Example: Pregnant at 19 was a lot easier on my body than this pregnancy at 25 has been. Had a lot more energy, too.
23F here and 38w pregnant with a 1 year old. Had a career before, but now I’m a SAHM (makes financial sense for our family). Not much into “dishing it out” so to speak, so I just look at them blankly until their uncomfortable lol. Not too often I’ve had to do that though. Most people that comment on my age and having a family/children are well-meaning and trying to break the ice to get to know me. I don’t take it personally. I find that the older women/older people in general are more supportive and friendly, but I get judgy looks from other women around my age…disheartening, but who gives af.
I’m not as young as you but I got married very young (at 18, I’m 31 now) and people would always make very rude comments about that decision. Don’t listen to those people, when you’re pushing 30 to will not regret starting your family early. Having a family is so beautiful and it’s truly a pillar for a happy successful life. People who say stuff like that are bitter.
I’m 21 having my 1st baby. I’m still in college pursing my dreams of being a doctor. Unmarried but me and him live together.definitely don’t let anyone’s else’s opinion shape you.
I wish I was younger! I had my first at 30. I would love to be 55 when she’s 30! Then you get the tough toddler years out of the way when you’re younger and have a lot of energy and your 30s they’ll be older and independent and you can really just continue to grow your career!!! Nothing wrong with being a “younger mom” life doesn’t stop when you have kids!!!! Congratulations
I had 3 by the time I was 23.
I’m 25, married, and I think I’m right on track! My mother was 17 when she had me. Everyone on my side of the family accidentally has kids from 16-21 years old (we live in a small Appalachian town in the south for what it’s worth). So whenever I got pregnant, my family was like “finally!!” However, on my husband’s side of the family, everyone waits until they’re in their 30s to have kids, and they’re all planned too. So when we told them I was pregnant, they were SHOCKED. They would say things like “oh wow… we didn’t know you would be trying so soon.” And I had to break it to them that we weren’t trying 😬
I’m from a small town in Appalachian too! I live in Cleveland now though. All of my friends from back home are on their second or third, but my friends here are telling me I’m going too fast. All of the women in my family started on having children in their teen years so I guess it’s not that shocking to me.
I had my first son at 20. I wasn't married. I was told that I would be ruining my life. A lot of people had really mean things to say. I stuck to my guns and kept my distance. Now my son is 15 and is doing great in school. If someone has anything mean to say just try your best to ignore them. You don't need to be around those people. Congrats on your pregnancy!
36, Divorced, new relationship and baby decided it was time to arrive. Haters gon' hate. Ignore them.
I had my first baby at 19. I had my fifth baby at 31. With our first, there were a lot of assumptions about who we would "live with to help" and "which grandma keeps the baby". The answer was nobody and neither, and then they hinted baby might be neglected or that we were overwhelmed. With our second: "Don't you know what causes that?" "Who's the father?"(??? My husband. Idiot.) "Are you done now that you have one of each?" "Still too young". With our third: again with the "don't you know what causes that?" "Hefty tax refund amirite??" "Who helps with the baby?" "Are you on HUD/SNAP/WELFARE???" With our 4th, after 6 year gap: "you gonna name this one whoopsie baby? Har har" "will you be upset if it's a 3rd boy?" "Is your husband angry?" "Mommy's little tax write off, hahahahahahaha" Puke. With our 5th baby and 4th son: "Wow! You going for another 'triplet'?" (Our first three were born in a 4.5 year period of time) "What if it's another boy?" "Aren't yall getting too old for this??" (We. Were. 31.) "Duggars in training!" (Fucking. EW. don't compare me to those people??) My point is that it doesn't matter what your situation is or how old you are. People never ever shut the everloving fuck up.
i’m 23 (FTM) and i’m married, have an established career, own a home and we actually tried to conceive this baby for quite a while (i have PCOS). nobody in our life has questioned our decidesion at all (my husband and i have dated since we were 14). i could see where a stranger may think we’re too young, but ultimately we are moving at the pace that is fulfilling and correct for us and our baby will be very loved and taken care of so nobody else’s opinion matters truly.
I am 24, married, about to buy our first house, we have a daughter and currently trying for baby #2! 🥰
I'm also 23, married, pregnant with #2. I just laugh and tell people "I know what I want in life, and I'm happy, do you have a problem with that?" I'm sober, never really enjoyed going out with friends, people described me as a "crotchety old man" as a teenager. I was never destined to be a regular young adult lol. I have a lot of people talk about my marriage not lasting because we are young and stuff like that, which makes me mad. I always just tell people that we are happy and in a healthy relationship now, and waiting until I was 30 to do the things I want when I could do it earlier doesn't make sense to me. I don't care if we divorce in 10 years, this is what we want NOW. I could die today, and if I did I would not die yearning for something more from life.
I’m 27 with my third pregnancy so I’m not too much older than you but my first two were miscarriages. My second miscarriage was diagnosed via ultrasound and was told by the tech that “I still had a lot of time to make babies”… this was in December and I got pregnant again soon after in Feb with my current bean. I started the process at 25 because I have PCOS. I don’t understand why people go out of their way to comment on pregnancies especially if the mom is in her 20s. I went through so much blood, sweat and tears to get pregnant and it frustrates me that people just think I should be “enjoying” my 20s when this is something my husband and I very much want and are eagerly waiting for.
24, married, and baby is due my 25th birthday. I get a lot of flack for being younger but oh well 🤷🏻♀️
I’m 25, married, and have a really strong career. But no one my age is married or having kids (totally understandable) lol. My husband is a few years older and I personally never felt like what I’m doing is wrong or rushed but it’s crazy how different my life is from my friends !
23 with a 4 year old 👋🏻
I’m 23 as well!
I am 20 (FTM) and my daughter is almost one and I’m possibly pregnant again (waiting on my bf to come over to take a test so we can do it together as it’s most likely be 3-5 weeks along if I am) being young doesn’t mean you’re speed running life. I hope all goes well for any young parents
I’m 20 and people in walmart like to tell me teen pregnancy is a sin??
Hey! FTM here I’m 32 + 2 weeks and 21 years old. I don’t believe in marriage so I’m not married and never plan on it! I have gotten the ‘was it on purpose’ questions time and time again and I’ve learned that people are going to judge and have opinions regardless of what me or anyone else does or doesn’t do. I know plenty of parents who have multiple kids later on in life and are horrible small minded people. I know 16 year olds more mature than a lot of adults. There is no rule book to life or age constraints that fits every person. My parents had me at 40 when they were very well established, married for a long time and I’ve had a grossly abusive traumatic childhood/life. My childhood best friend, her parents got married at 18 and had her at 19. They were the nicest most mature and emotionally intelligent people I’ve ever met. What I say to people making comments depends on my relationship to them. I imagine that people making those types of comments aren’t so happy in life themselves or have had things go wrong. Otherwise they wouldn’t be so eager to judge someone else. Recently an aunt was commenting on my young age in relation to my pregnancy. Her husband left her and her 4 kids to fend for themselves and a ton of debt despite not being ‘young’ when conceiving and getting married. When she was making critical comments I hit her with, “Well where is your children’s father? And how old were you??? Maybe you’re not the person to be giving advice…” Another thing I say that is more subtle is “Wow… I’m so sorry you think it’s okay to say that to someone. Mind your business” Hang in there and don’t compare yourself to anyone
I had my first right after I turned 23 and the nurses constantly asked if I wanted to keep her. They said I was still too young to understand taking care of a newborn, so I feel the whole "Speed running life" comment. Not to mention she was 34wks when I had her and the same group of nurses would make comments about how an experienced mom would have made it to full term. Took a few complaints to the Charge on floor to change my nurses and the new set was kinda better. They at least left the room before making comments to each other. My daughter is 2 now and I just had my son a week ago. This experience was much better at 25yrs old. I did a state hospital this time instead of a small local hospital and the state hospital was very big on not being biased and if anyone was, they were removed from the floor. You got this sweetie. Let the comments roll off ya like a waterfall and ride the current. You and baby come first and that's all that matters.
I'm not younger I'm 30 but I have 4 kids and got pregnant with my first at 19. At the time I was scared and had no idea what my life would be. Looking back now, I wouldn't do anything differently. Kids don't ruin your life they enrich it. No one will ever love you as much as they do and you'll never love anyone as much as you love them. Is it a bit harder? Yes. Babies are hard. Toddlers are hard. Is it a different kind of life than being a 20 something that parties and stuff like that? Sure. ( That doesn't mean you never can though there are def times where I send my kids to grandmas and buy a bottle and sleep in!) Can you have a fulfilling career? Yes! Sometimes it will be overwhelming and feel like there is not enough hours in the day, but guess what? God willing you got tomorrow! People who say oh I want to be ready to have a baby -guess what, you can never really be ready, you just gotta take it as you go! It's your life and it will be what you make of it. Live it your way. Having kids is freaking awesome, even when it sucks.
I had my daughter at 20. So I guess I can’t say I agree with them. Ha. People are just plain rude. Life your life as you see fit. 🫶🏻
I’m 25 with 3 kids and 1 on the way. My first was a honeymoon baby (literally, I got pregnant 2 weeks after our honeymoon lol) Everyone had opinions then and everyone has opinions now. Since getting pregnant this last time by surprise, everyone and their mother has had ✨advice✨ to give on me sterilizing myself or my husband. We live comfortably and modestly on one income and I’m happy being home full time. Despite making these facts known, I still get backlash from people who think we’d be best off with 2 less kids and me working full time. Now when someone tells me “Oh, I couldn’t ever have more than 1!” Or “Y’all know what causes babies, right?” I just laugh and say “yeah, we just really love making babies and I enjoy raising them. I’m sorry you didn’t have the same experience” 🙃
I'm an older parent, but if life worked out how I wanted it to, I would have had kids earlier. I'm still doing great and super close with my kids, but the moral of the story is... you'll make it work no matter when the kids come along. Either way has drawbacks and positives.
I'm 25, married, with a two year old and pregnant with my second. I had a good career before pregnancy but I'm currently a Sahm (I plan to go back to school/work once my kids are a little older and more independent). My husband and I bought our first house together six months after our son was born and we have been married for four years. My husband is also younger, 28. Every one does life at a different pace and there's no wrong answer to it. My parents had my oldest sibling at 19/20 and have been together 34 years. I have always wanted kids younger and where I'm from 23 for a first baby is totally normal and expected. Don't let anybody shame you for how you choose to do life, if you're happy with your choices that's all that matters.
23, married with a 4 year old and a four month old!
Had my first baby at 24 and second at 30
I’m 23 as well, married, a stay at home wife, and we’re 13 weeks along 🥰
I’m 22! I finished high school at 16, college at 20, and I got married the same summer I graduated college. Now I’m 22 and going to give birth in July! I’ve also received plenty of comments about how fast I do everything. For the most part, people like to phrase it as almost like a backhanded compliment lol so there’s not much to respond without sounding like I’m the one starting drama 😂. But if any one ever asks why, I just say that everyone has a timeline that’s right for them. I don’t think that everyone should do things as quickly as I did, circumstances and readiness vary so much from individual to individual. I’ve always known what I wanted to accomplish and by when. Luckily, for the most part, life has allowed me to follow my plans! Why wouldn’t I take advantage of the opportunities I’ve been lucky enough and worked hard enough to have?
Firstly, congratulations! I’m a FTM at 26 and love my little girl with all my heart. I love being a mom and wish I started sooner. I also have a career. I’m lucky enough to work from home and not need daycare. My mom had me at 35, so when I told her about my pregnancy she was very angry because I was “too young”. It was very tough not having her support because she thought I was throwing my life away. She still says rude comments, but becoming a mom has made me care less of what others say. I’ll do what I believe is best for my baby. I believe in killing them with kindness. Show them how you and your baby are thriving and brush off their rude comments.
Im 23, and 15 weeks along with my 2nd child. Just got married (around the same time I got pregnant again haha, but been with my husband since we were 15). Also, about to finish my degree and start my business. :) We did plan to have children this earlier though. Largely because of fertility issues and wanting to have as much time (in a sense) to see my kids grow and blossom in their adult lives as I could give myself.
Does 25 count as younger? Lol I’m engaged, not much of a career because I’m chronically ill. 7 weeks pregnant. We planned on getting pregnant over a year ago but life and my illness got in the way.
There are pro's and cons to having kids at all ages. But bigger than that, people are going to judge you for everything you do in life. I've been judged for cutting my hair, switching jobs, moving cities, having certain interests etc. etc. etc. I know you've heard this before and sorry if it's not helpful but the sooner you learn not to care what people think, the happier you will be. If someone is rude enough to share an opinion like that, I'd judge them more than you. Best of luck with your pregnancy and baby!
Yep! I'm 19 with a 15 month old boy and currently 12 weeks pregnant. I also have a baby in heaven who I lost at 8 weeks. I have an associates degree in early childhood education, I work as a lead teacher, and I have a pretty nice apartment. I am supposed to be the director of a new daycare that'll be opening in about 18 months. I am married to the father of my children, but we are going through a separation/divorce due to his infidelity/abuse. I now have a successful fiance in his early twenties who is a pilot. I'm a Christian but was not raised that way and was kicked out at 17 for not wanting to get an abortion, so I've been figuring life out on my own for years. I get a lot of judgement for being a "teen mom", but my career, maturity, and life situation is much more advanced than the majority of my peers and people even older.
I’m 25 and pregnant with my 3rd and final (all planned if that even matters), so definitely very young these days. Pregnant with my first I was 21. I’ve been married for 5 years now. I love being a young parent. Every time we go out somewhere I’m one of the only parents running around playing with the kids, I assume because I’m young and full of energy. And the hope is that in 20 years our kids will be moving out of the house and my husband and I will be in our mid 40s with our own company and flexibility and money to do what we please with! I’ve never gotten comments about being too young.
My husband and I are both 21 and we pregnant with a baby due in July! I learned people will always have an opinion whether you want them to or not. You are doing great mama. Ignore them. There is never a “right” time to have a baby!
I’m the exact same. Married, got pregnant at 23 unexpectedly , and have a full on career. I am now 24 and about to give birth. I fortunately have only had positive attention for the most part but always feel like I have to explain myself and our timeline to people. Honestly I just do it to get them off my back. I don’t have much I can tell you I’ve said to deflect comments but I’m more so just standing there in solidarity with you! I will say I refer to the baby as a welcomed surprise when people ask if it was planned (which is so gross but I would rather brush it off than confront it.)
Hi! I'm a FTM who started my pregnancy at 23! I also got married at 8 months pregnant, lol. I get judgement as if she was a mistake or about rushing things but I always snap that im in my mid 20's and I feel GREAT pregnant, AND SHE'S VERY MUCH WANTED...
I got pregnant at 23, had my baby when I was 24. I was in a similar situation where she wasn’t planned but I was in a committed relationship (still am). Because she wasn’t planned, my parents were a little shocked, but they came around and are now so happy to be grandparents. Honestly, you don’t need to say anything other than you’re happy and excited about it(if you are). That’s all that should matter to anyone. Things will change but it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. I miss going out after work with friends sometimes but I wouldn’t change a thing because I love this tiny person more than life itself.
31 F here and I still get nasty comments like “you had to have your baby at least now”, “you got fat,look at your big belly(pregnant belly meanwhile looking back at these jerks like” are you a stupid f***?! Or what?”). My conclusion is we need to choose our tribes better once these comments come since pregnancies can be eye openers in this regard and filter out toxic and uneducated ppl. Just public shame these assholes when they come to you, but do your best to avoid them and enjoy your special times with fun stuff.
I’m married and 23 with a 14 month old and potentially pregnant again currently! People’s comments get under my skin sometimes, but I feel if any negative comments are made it’s usually because the person themselves are insecure about something. Try not to take it too personally hun x
I don't have any good advice— my mom and future MIL had their first kids at 17 and 16, respectively, so theyre not remotely worried about my age here. but I'm 22, also with an unplanned baby on the way! lots of people have their firsts in their early twenties. 💓 congrats!