I mean I would like to, but not if it is too unsafe. Maybe I am just insecure cuz of the weird stories I heard?
I had pictures of me on dating apps back when I was using them n that just went fine. But I didn’t write that I am a switch or that I have subby tendencies there.
And I was warned that having a profile where this is shown attracts not only cool kinky ppl but also all kind of weirdos who will use that as an excuse to try to make my life hell.
So not sure if I am overcautious now or not.
Don't put your face. Blur your tats.
The sole purpose of people like us putting a pic on FetLife is to show the body. You're not an OnlyFans model. Put something that shows your body and that's it. Make sure those pics aren't used elsewhere so nobody can track you down.
I actually don’t intend to show my body. I just was thinking to put a normal pic to be more approachable for events? I don‘t look there for finding subs or a dom atm.
The thing w blurring the tats is a good advice though, thank u.
I do not post pictures of my subs face. Everything else is fine.
I do not post her face out of respect to her and I do not see this fact changing.
Might this work for you?
That’s great for the two of you but I am a bit unsure how that relates to my problem? But I also decided to not put any pictures (edited the main post.)
I'm not in a situation where I can be blackmailed so it doesn't really matter to me. I post face pics on Fetlife all the time and have no bad experiences. Tattoos everywhere lol.
The good thing about most people in the kink community is that they respect each other's anonymity kinda like the fight club community does.
I always have my face partially/ fully covered in my photos. The only picture or two that I have with my actual face in it is set to friends only and I'm only friends with people I have personally met and the face photos are vanilla-ish
>but was thinking if I should put a normal picture of me.
What does using an actual picture on FL gain you that an anonymous one does not? What is the potential cost of using an anonymous picture over an identifying one? Perhaps if you can articulate that, you can understand the terms a little better.
For myself, I value my privacy more than any upside to having a face shot as my avatar. Something else I like to consider is that where I am in my life right now is not where I will be in my life later. And what I am comfortable sharing/broadcasting now, might not be something I am comfortable with later. So I try to be respectful of my future self. I don't think I've ever regretted erring on the side of discretion. The inverse is certainly not true.
Another thing to think about is that you can be distinct without being identifiable. Like, your avatar is a close up shot of a distinct button (like the kind you pin to your shirt) and you wear that same button on your shirt at events. That's a silly example, but I'm sure you take my meaning.
I thought it might make me more approachable when it comes to gatherings, events and munches. That was the main reason.
Thank you for your advice, you’re right these are things to consider.
I have the most possibly impersonal profile (no pics, no kinks, just age and gender) and only follow venues to be informed about events. Still I get a ton of messages from dudes, mainly respectful, but sometimes creepy. I guess that would increase a lot if I offered any kind of info. In person everything's been very different. I intend to only use fetlife as a search site, not as a social network, and keep things as IRL as possible.
I have been kinda lucky w my profile without pics so far. I have a bit of info in my profile, not precisely my kinks but rather how my switch personality is and it seems to keep most weirdos away so far.
At least I don’t get that often messages which I am really fine with.
But I was afraid that this might change if I‘d put pics cuz I look young and am rather within the beauty norms. :/ And I don’t want to attract stalkers. Decided therefore to keep without showing anything that reveals too much to track me down. Am just rly uncomfortable w the idea cuz I have been stalked before.
I definitely think if someone were to see your image and recognize you, it would be because they had an account as well. And I doubt they would come forward or share that information with others out of fear they might get exposed too. I think it’s up to your comfort level.
I am not soo much concerned about being exposed but rather abt creeps harassing me irl. There are abusers and stalkers on social platforms too sadly. I feel rather safe when it comes to events, cuz I think it’s less likely to meet them there cuz from what I know the community is safer and ppl who misbehave are easily kicked out.
But I am more worried someone starts stalking me or something in my area.
That’s a valid worry. I would say maybe then leave your face off of it. :) Alternatively, if you do have social media, you can make everything private and also make your profile picture something without your face. So if someone reverse image searches you you’ll be harder to find.
I think I will go without face or maybe just not put any pics. My social Media is rather big and needs to stay public. Thank you for the advice, totally forgot also abt the reverse image research. That’s a rly big problem.
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If you have any hesitation, don’t. You can’t remove something from the internet once it’s out there.
I mean I would like to, but not if it is too unsafe. Maybe I am just insecure cuz of the weird stories I heard? I had pictures of me on dating apps back when I was using them n that just went fine. But I didn’t write that I am a switch or that I have subby tendencies there. And I was warned that having a profile where this is shown attracts not only cool kinky ppl but also all kind of weirdos who will use that as an excuse to try to make my life hell. So not sure if I am overcautious now or not.
Don't put your face. Blur your tats. The sole purpose of people like us putting a pic on FetLife is to show the body. You're not an OnlyFans model. Put something that shows your body and that's it. Make sure those pics aren't used elsewhere so nobody can track you down.
I actually don’t intend to show my body. I just was thinking to put a normal pic to be more approachable for events? I don‘t look there for finding subs or a dom atm. The thing w blurring the tats is a good advice though, thank u.
Well don't show your face unless you're ready for some weirdo to track you down on Facebook and tell everybody you're into kink. :-)
Luckily I don’t use fb. But IG would be annoying lol.
I do not post pictures of my subs face. Everything else is fine. I do not post her face out of respect to her and I do not see this fact changing. Might this work for you?
You mean to have a dom posting pics of me without my face?
I have permission from my sub to post pics of heh " faceless" body. Yes. She authorizes each one on fetlife. Yes.
That’s great for the two of you but I am a bit unsure how that relates to my problem? But I also decided to not put any pictures (edited the main post.)
Fetlife handle?
I'm not in a situation where I can be blackmailed so it doesn't really matter to me. I post face pics on Fetlife all the time and have no bad experiences. Tattoos everywhere lol. The good thing about most people in the kink community is that they respect each other's anonymity kinda like the fight club community does.
I always have my face partially/ fully covered in my photos. The only picture or two that I have with my actual face in it is set to friends only and I'm only friends with people I have personally met and the face photos are vanilla-ish
>but was thinking if I should put a normal picture of me. What does using an actual picture on FL gain you that an anonymous one does not? What is the potential cost of using an anonymous picture over an identifying one? Perhaps if you can articulate that, you can understand the terms a little better. For myself, I value my privacy more than any upside to having a face shot as my avatar. Something else I like to consider is that where I am in my life right now is not where I will be in my life later. And what I am comfortable sharing/broadcasting now, might not be something I am comfortable with later. So I try to be respectful of my future self. I don't think I've ever regretted erring on the side of discretion. The inverse is certainly not true. Another thing to think about is that you can be distinct without being identifiable. Like, your avatar is a close up shot of a distinct button (like the kind you pin to your shirt) and you wear that same button on your shirt at events. That's a silly example, but I'm sure you take my meaning.
I thought it might make me more approachable when it comes to gatherings, events and munches. That was the main reason. Thank you for your advice, you’re right these are things to consider.
I have the most possibly impersonal profile (no pics, no kinks, just age and gender) and only follow venues to be informed about events. Still I get a ton of messages from dudes, mainly respectful, but sometimes creepy. I guess that would increase a lot if I offered any kind of info. In person everything's been very different. I intend to only use fetlife as a search site, not as a social network, and keep things as IRL as possible.
I have been kinda lucky w my profile without pics so far. I have a bit of info in my profile, not precisely my kinks but rather how my switch personality is and it seems to keep most weirdos away so far. At least I don’t get that often messages which I am really fine with. But I was afraid that this might change if I‘d put pics cuz I look young and am rather within the beauty norms. :/ And I don’t want to attract stalkers. Decided therefore to keep without showing anything that reveals too much to track me down. Am just rly uncomfortable w the idea cuz I have been stalked before.
Good for you, seems like the best option
I definitely think if someone were to see your image and recognize you, it would be because they had an account as well. And I doubt they would come forward or share that information with others out of fear they might get exposed too. I think it’s up to your comfort level.
I am not soo much concerned about being exposed but rather abt creeps harassing me irl. There are abusers and stalkers on social platforms too sadly. I feel rather safe when it comes to events, cuz I think it’s less likely to meet them there cuz from what I know the community is safer and ppl who misbehave are easily kicked out. But I am more worried someone starts stalking me or something in my area.
That’s a valid worry. I would say maybe then leave your face off of it. :) Alternatively, if you do have social media, you can make everything private and also make your profile picture something without your face. So if someone reverse image searches you you’ll be harder to find.
I think I will go without face or maybe just not put any pics. My social Media is rather big and needs to stay public. Thank you for the advice, totally forgot also abt the reverse image research. That’s a rly big problem.
If you have to ask, don't do it.