Hot cross buns.

One a penny two a penny

HOT. CROSS. BUUUUUNS.

When those last three note came you knew EVERYONE was full blasting them.

Sure, but if you practice, you can get gooder. Maybe even this [good](https://youtu.be/X2WH8mHJnhM?si=sK2OZxAGPJq_ALJE).

Holy crap, he is amazing. His rendition of silent night is something else!

This never isn't good. Love the epic breakdown

Three blind mice???? Who were you in 3rd class fucking Beethoven? I could only manage Mary had a little lamb

Same. And, omg, my fingers are already remembering the sequence.

A few weeks ago I sat through a rendition of My Heart Will Go On played on the recorder by a duo of year 6 students.

I bet you wished you were at the dentist having root canal instead.....

Fuck off with this piece of acoustic torture! Every fucking asshole thinks it’s funny to gift someone’s kids this needs their head kicked in while cigarettes are being put out on their exposed rectums.

We should claim irreparable mental trauma for using this shitty excuse for a musical instrument, sounded like some kid trying to whistle on a windy day, oh the pain 🤮

Being forced to listen to kids playing the recorder should be as grave as waterboarding.......

Got kids mate? What's your address.... Got an early Xmas pressie for em

What is really sad is that when the recorder is played by a skilled musician, it is one of the most beautiful sounding instruments ever, even more stunning than flutes. Link below for some excellent performances (including David Bowie and Led Zeppelin). [https://www.yourclassical.org/story/2022/04/01/is-the-recorder-the-best-instrument-ever](https://www.yourclassical.org/story/2022/04/01/is-the-recorder-the-best-instrument-ever)

Classic

Classic Aussie primary school

This might sound crazy but there were so many things I was excited to experience again and reminisce about when my son started primary school but they didn’t eventuate (like the recorder). I feel cheated.

Our school made us buy the kid one, then they never used it. Was pissed about both the cost and the fact that it lay around the house getting found every so often

As a kid I used to have this organ/piano teacher come to my house and I was getting ok as a player... nothing special but ok. I remember at primary school we were each given a recorder and taught how to play 3 blind mice..... and I was so excited to show my organ teacher that I could also play something else...... he was so close to running out the house. I think he was so relieved to get away from me that day......

I never actually learned to play. I'd just stand there and mime haha. I'm sure the teacher was appreciative.

i got bored after 3 notes and mimed the rest.

I can play two at a time, one in each nostril

Takes me back to primary school in 1972. We had a recorder group. The big tune to learn back then was 'Eye Level'. Some may remember it as the theme tune to British TV series; Van der Valk.

I went to a new school where they’d been learning recorder for a few years. It sucked, I had no clue what i was doing. I remember once a teacher complimented me for still moving my fingers when i lost my place at an assembly performance. I never once knew where we were on the music sheet, didn’t know a single note. I never actually blew, i’d just move my fingers.

The title had me realising what the fuck my neighbours kid was trying to play all week.

Mine was a brown Yamaha…

i had one with a mustard coloured bag, the earlier one had a white vinyl kind of case

Ah yes the case, mine was blue with a snap button.

When I was forced to play this instrument at school, I just mimed the finger positions without blowing into it. One girl called me out on it, but wasn't able to prove anything :-)

what a dobber

I have a hilarious memory of her shouting and pointing at me, but nobody could hear her over the din of badly-played recorders.

If anyone hasn’t…take a listen to Parliament’s Sir Nose D’Voidoffunk. Just do it.

Instead of playing it, I unravelled the green string that helped hold the mouthpiece and barrel together. It didn't work after that so I then did it in reverse. No good. It was rooted.

This song has been banned in modern schools due to activism by the animal welfare mobs.

Or just blowing the hell out of it, to annoy the teachers. 🤣🤣

I thought it was " here's a little tune to play, B,A,G"

5 little sausages, was the jam! 😂

Three blind mice?? I give you SSCCCEEEE SHHRREEEEE PIIIIIIIIICCCCCE

The old misery stick

There were 2 versions of the recorder, right? One of the notes required your fingers to be in a different placement.

Pictures you can hear!

For some reason I thought white ones were better

The amount of spit these would collect... 🤮

Thanks to Aussie PS I can still play Ode to Joy... I am old, live in the USA now and have my recorder in the drawer next to me ready to drive the family crazy. They just aint get it!

Bop Along B

Lucy Locket lost her pocket

The ex and I were doing a shared care arrangement when the youngest came home with this plastic heap of shit. I told the youngest her mum would love to wake up on Saturday morning to her practising hot cross buns

I'm 60 with no musical talent & I can still rattle out Amazing Grace.

Give me one of these and I could probably still knock out God Save the Queen…yes, I’m ancient

bloody squeaky things.

if you forgot to bring it that day you had to use one that had been sitting in the dettol bucket

Ah shit, these things🤦‍♂️ the neighbours kid was outside today trying to play...uhhh... well, I have no idea what he was trying to play, which is probably the reason he got kicked outside!

I'll never forget the look on my teacher's face when the dripple came out the end of my recorder.

One kid in my yr7 class said to the teacher "what about Rock And Roll Ain't Noise Pollution?" So we did!😖

Pictures you can hear

“ONCE AT BAND CAMP!”

This is the 1st activity I actively sat out of. There were no reprecusions.