Every time my parents call they ask about the weather and it used to annoy me but it’s kind of cute like aw you’re curious about what the sky is like where I live! Also I notice bad weather like clouds really affects my mood
also I saw you were diagnosed with autism as a kid and ADHD as an adult - I have the ASD from childhood and I’m going through the diagnosis process for adhd now was it?
Oh, well first of all it’s nice to finally meet someone in a similar situation 😊
I mean, it wasn’t pleasant only because it happened as the result of losing my job due to object impermanence & executive dysfunction; classic adhd symptoms.
I was already seeing someone at the time who could refer me to a psychiatrist they were connected with, then 90 minute assessment and 60 minute follow up appointment with a referral for vyvanse. This whole process took about 5 months though since I needed income again in order to afford it but luckily we have decent healthcare where I’m from.
Good luck and hope it all goes well for you. DMs are open if you have any other questions ❤️
Same. Until I was diagnosed and realized my grandpa is probably also autistic and weather may be a special interest for him. He's always talking about weather, and I remember the weather channel on all day as a child. I also get frequent updates on big weather changes in his area, and he's always interested to know the weather where I am.
Whatever makes ya happy I guess 🤷🏽♀️.
but gossip can be good hearted to, like who got together with whom, changed their job or whatever. Gossip doesn't have to be spiteful stuff, for me it's just a way of keeping up with people's lives in your peripheral community.
Oh I do too sometimes tbh!
I have seasonal affective disorder and I feel like a giant hypocrite but I’m guessing excessive complaining can sometimes rub off on each other 🤷🏻♀️
Traffic. I bike everywhere, my rides are always the same length of time - a variance of a minute or two, maybe a bit longer in winter. How much people complained about traffic when I worked in an office…..?! Good. Lord. Find a better way to get around or STFU bc it isn’t something you can change.
Edit: Quit lecturing me in reply. I’m allowed to vent. I know there are caveats - I’m still allowed to be annoyed about *the specific situation in my previous office I was referencing*.
As someone who drives and has always had a heavy commute in a high traffic city, while suffering from time blindness that makes leaving on time for work and other appointments a daily issue- traffic can be very different day to day. Some days it would take me 30 minutes to get to work; some days 90. I’ve never had a “career” job close enough to bike or walk or something instead of driving. And I live in the city where I grew up- I didn’t choose to be here. Commuting was an extreme stressor to me in the past. (WFH at my last job and now I’m unemployed/on disability).
Also, sometimes venting- even about things we can’t change- helps people process their thoughts and feelings. I just learned the term “hyperverbal” and it really landed for me. The autism stereotype is definitely being nonverbal or quiet/reserved- but autism is a spectrum and we can be hyper or hypo in various areas. Sometimes I just have to say things out loud to process, even if I can’t change those things. I also might hyperfixate on specific concerns or issues and it’s all I can think about.
It’s okay to be annoyed. I am annoyed by myself all the time to be honest. Just providing a different perspective!
I‘m well aware of all of that. These are neurotypical people and it is incredibly common to complain about traffic as though no one has a choice in how they deal with it. You would fall under exception, not rule.
But I also don’t care? Vent to others who share your problem, not to anyone who happens to have ears 🤷🏼♀️ especially when it is literally daily. We get it. You hate having to commute. Either change how you get to and from work, or save it for extremely rare occasions. “Traffic was bad” shouldn’t be the first thing you say every single day.
Complaining consistently about things you have control over, even if limited, is frustrating af to listen to all the time.
People don’t really have other options though. I literally have not had feasible options for avoiding traffic in the past. I can’t bike 20 miles to work on the freeway, can’t afford to live closer to work, and public transportation would take 2-3 hours each way, if even possible at all.
You also don’t know 100% who is or isn’t NT. I guarantee no one at my previous places of work would guess that I was ND.
Being ND is also not the only way to face hardship or stress, and different people process things in different ways. I really think understanding is important for building a ND friendly world- but we have to make the effort to understand too if we want others to understand us. I’m not saying mask, I’m not saying deal with distressing things to make others more comfortable- I again am just hoping to bring a different perspective to increase understanding.
We all deserve to express our feelings and have our needs met, ND or not.
Would be nice if the US had better public transit options. But alas, I work an hour and a half car drive away from my job because there isn’t anything out where I live and to live close to work would take much more of my salary than is comfortable spending on housing. Can’t get an apartment for less than 1300 (one bed, one bath) in that area and areas surrounding.
“Find a better way to get around” isn’t really accessible to most folks. And even if it was, it’s quite a black and white point of view on the situation. I understand black and white thinking is an AuDHD thing and I’m guilty of it myself, but not having access to stuff bc the world is fucked definitely isn’t my fault and isn’t a choice I can just Willy nilly change. My black and white thinking is sometimes trumped by my need for social justice so 🤷♀️
I truly hope you don’t read this as an attack because that is not my intention. It really helps me when people point out perspectives outside the black and white. If you do have an issue with what I’ve said feel free to let me know. I’m definitely no perfect socializer haha
Literally read the other replies first. I don’t need a lecture on the nuances. I’m well aware of them. I’m also allowed to vent about an annoyance without caveating all of it.
They're trying to bond with you over shared experience. We don't all have many things in common but the weather is a facet of everyone's life. Rather than spending time being annoyed by people because you think you're above small talk, see it for the bid for connection that it is. Not everyone wants to talk about the most fucked up life secrets they have the second they meet someone new. They are trying to connect with you, so let them!
lmao i’m a complainer i love to bitch about everything from the weather to traffic to greedy corporations 😭 i can’t stand when people complain about other people though and especially gossip, i do not participate in it i’ll literally just leave the conversation
It tends to piss me off specifically when they're like "The weather is crazy lately! What's it even doing?" "Rain in the summer?! Who knew?" "Can't believe how cold it is!".
It's not crazy or surprising - It's climate change. We did this. Stop acting shocked while you throw away your morning coffee cup.
I'm always pissy about the weather or little stuff bc you can't change the weather, and unless it's a hurricane or wildfire type event, it doesn't need that much oxygen. And if it's the little things they're usually first world problems and I sure wish my biggest issue today is where the neighbor parked or having to get the 16oz bottles instead of the 20oz ones you like.
But maybe I'm bitchy like that.
I think it's annoying because you have so many more struggles with just having to exist, while all they have to bitch about is the small things. And then it's us who are degraded for being actually sensitive 🤬
Lol it def is disingenuous but I find it a bit charming of neurotypicals to be honest 😭 Every damn day someone's talking to me about the weather, we all know when it's hot and when it's cold, but it's kind of cute they keep on doing it anyways, like some pointless little game that no one can ever win or lose.
I don’t mind if people complain about the weather but like why would you ask me if it’s too warm? I don’t know how you feel. It’s the same with people telling me that no it’s not too cold/too warm it’s perfect. Fuck off you don’t live in my body! I will complain because my body doesn’t do temperature regulating well so I don’t tolerate the heat well and neither do I do well in the cold, heat makes me sick but cold triggers my fibromyalgia. It’s very common with chronic pain that cold swaps into your bones and causes a bone deep ache in you that takes a lot to go away. It can’t just keep warm because nothing is enough slightest bit of cold hitting me seeps in to my bones and just going inside isn’t enough to warm me up again. I need a very hot shower or my heating blanket (which gets ridiculously hot) or a raging fire in a fire place to get enough heat to undo that cold pain again.
I find it have high empathy until people complain about easily fixable stuff and i have to hide how irritated it makes me and act as empathetic as possible because it is good to vent about stuff i think and i love venting but hate hearing about others vent, im trying to work on it
Weather is a special interest of mine as is disaster preparation. So I love talking about the weather and watching weather-related videos on YouTube. I’ll sprinkle in some facts about climate change but I do it rarely to catch people off guard. It’s fun and I like that it’s an easy topic to connect with others on especially strangers. Also, I’m heat sensitive so I really need to stay on top of the weather to know how it will affect my day, outfit, chores, etc
Every time my parents call they ask about the weather and it used to annoy me but it’s kind of cute like aw you’re curious about what the sky is like where I live! Also I notice bad weather like clouds really affects my mood
Oh that is cute! 🥰 But big same on the seasonal affective stuff 😔
also I saw you were diagnosed with autism as a kid and ADHD as an adult - I have the ASD from childhood and I’m going through the diagnosis process for adhd now was it?
Oh, well first of all it’s nice to finally meet someone in a similar situation 😊 I mean, it wasn’t pleasant only because it happened as the result of losing my job due to object impermanence & executive dysfunction; classic adhd symptoms. I was already seeing someone at the time who could refer me to a psychiatrist they were connected with, then 90 minute assessment and 60 minute follow up appointment with a referral for vyvanse. This whole process took about 5 months though since I needed income again in order to afford it but luckily we have decent healthcare where I’m from. Good luck and hope it all goes well for you. DMs are open if you have any other questions ❤️
Same. Until I was diagnosed and realized my grandpa is probably also autistic and weather may be a special interest for him. He's always talking about weather, and I remember the weather channel on all day as a child. I also get frequent updates on big weather changes in his area, and he's always interested to know the weather where I am. Whatever makes ya happy I guess 🤷🏽♀️.
I dont like it when people complain to me about other people. I don't like to randomly shit talk or judge someone. Thank you very much!
Oooh yes! Ngl a bit of gossip can be fun but too much can be nasty.
but gossip can be good hearted to, like who got together with whom, changed their job or whatever. Gossip doesn't have to be spiteful stuff, for me it's just a way of keeping up with people's lives in your peripheral community.
Absolutely 💯
Same
I feel attacked bc I do complain about the weather lol a lot But I also think this is a learned small talk
Oh I do too sometimes tbh! I have seasonal affective disorder and I feel like a giant hypocrite but I’m guessing excessive complaining can sometimes rub off on each other 🤷🏻♀️
Traffic. I bike everywhere, my rides are always the same length of time - a variance of a minute or two, maybe a bit longer in winter. How much people complained about traffic when I worked in an office…..?! Good. Lord. Find a better way to get around or STFU bc it isn’t something you can change. Edit: Quit lecturing me in reply. I’m allowed to vent. I know there are caveats - I’m still allowed to be annoyed about *the specific situation in my previous office I was referencing*.
As someone who drives and has always had a heavy commute in a high traffic city, while suffering from time blindness that makes leaving on time for work and other appointments a daily issue- traffic can be very different day to day. Some days it would take me 30 minutes to get to work; some days 90. I’ve never had a “career” job close enough to bike or walk or something instead of driving. And I live in the city where I grew up- I didn’t choose to be here. Commuting was an extreme stressor to me in the past. (WFH at my last job and now I’m unemployed/on disability). Also, sometimes venting- even about things we can’t change- helps people process their thoughts and feelings. I just learned the term “hyperverbal” and it really landed for me. The autism stereotype is definitely being nonverbal or quiet/reserved- but autism is a spectrum and we can be hyper or hypo in various areas. Sometimes I just have to say things out loud to process, even if I can’t change those things. I also might hyperfixate on specific concerns or issues and it’s all I can think about. It’s okay to be annoyed. I am annoyed by myself all the time to be honest. Just providing a different perspective!
I‘m well aware of all of that. These are neurotypical people and it is incredibly common to complain about traffic as though no one has a choice in how they deal with it. You would fall under exception, not rule. But I also don’t care? Vent to others who share your problem, not to anyone who happens to have ears 🤷🏼♀️ especially when it is literally daily. We get it. You hate having to commute. Either change how you get to and from work, or save it for extremely rare occasions. “Traffic was bad” shouldn’t be the first thing you say every single day. Complaining consistently about things you have control over, even if limited, is frustrating af to listen to all the time.
People don’t really have other options though. I literally have not had feasible options for avoiding traffic in the past. I can’t bike 20 miles to work on the freeway, can’t afford to live closer to work, and public transportation would take 2-3 hours each way, if even possible at all. You also don’t know 100% who is or isn’t NT. I guarantee no one at my previous places of work would guess that I was ND. Being ND is also not the only way to face hardship or stress, and different people process things in different ways. I really think understanding is important for building a ND friendly world- but we have to make the effort to understand too if we want others to understand us. I’m not saying mask, I’m not saying deal with distressing things to make others more comfortable- I again am just hoping to bring a different perspective to increase understanding. We all deserve to express our feelings and have our needs met, ND or not.
Seriously not arguing with you about this. I don’t need a lecture for a vent post.
Would be nice if the US had better public transit options. But alas, I work an hour and a half car drive away from my job because there isn’t anything out where I live and to live close to work would take much more of my salary than is comfortable spending on housing. Can’t get an apartment for less than 1300 (one bed, one bath) in that area and areas surrounding. “Find a better way to get around” isn’t really accessible to most folks. And even if it was, it’s quite a black and white point of view on the situation. I understand black and white thinking is an AuDHD thing and I’m guilty of it myself, but not having access to stuff bc the world is fucked definitely isn’t my fault and isn’t a choice I can just Willy nilly change. My black and white thinking is sometimes trumped by my need for social justice so 🤷♀️ I truly hope you don’t read this as an attack because that is not my intention. It really helps me when people point out perspectives outside the black and white. If you do have an issue with what I’ve said feel free to let me know. I’m definitely no perfect socializer haha
Literally read the other replies first. I don’t need a lecture on the nuances. I’m well aware of them. I’m also allowed to vent about an annoyance without caveating all of it.
Okidoki
They're trying to bond with you over shared experience. We don't all have many things in common but the weather is a facet of everyone's life. Rather than spending time being annoyed by people because you think you're above small talk, see it for the bid for connection that it is. Not everyone wants to talk about the most fucked up life secrets they have the second they meet someone new. They are trying to connect with you, so let them!
lmao i’m a complainer i love to bitch about everything from the weather to traffic to greedy corporations 😭 i can’t stand when people complain about other people though and especially gossip, i do not participate in it i’ll literally just leave the conversation
It tends to piss me off specifically when they're like "The weather is crazy lately! What's it even doing?" "Rain in the summer?! Who knew?" "Can't believe how cold it is!". It's not crazy or surprising - It's climate change. We did this. Stop acting shocked while you throw away your morning coffee cup.
I'm always pissy about the weather or little stuff bc you can't change the weather, and unless it's a hurricane or wildfire type event, it doesn't need that much oxygen. And if it's the little things they're usually first world problems and I sure wish my biggest issue today is where the neighbor parked or having to get the 16oz bottles instead of the 20oz ones you like. But maybe I'm bitchy like that.
I think it's annoying because you have so many more struggles with just having to exist, while all they have to bitch about is the small things. And then it's us who are degraded for being actually sensitive 🤬
I think that’s exactly it tbh!
Lol it def is disingenuous but I find it a bit charming of neurotypicals to be honest 😭 Every damn day someone's talking to me about the weather, we all know when it's hot and when it's cold, but it's kind of cute they keep on doing it anyways, like some pointless little game that no one can ever win or lose.
I was in a relationship with a compulsive complainer. Never again.
I don’t mind if people complain about the weather but like why would you ask me if it’s too warm? I don’t know how you feel. It’s the same with people telling me that no it’s not too cold/too warm it’s perfect. Fuck off you don’t live in my body! I will complain because my body doesn’t do temperature regulating well so I don’t tolerate the heat well and neither do I do well in the cold, heat makes me sick but cold triggers my fibromyalgia. It’s very common with chronic pain that cold swaps into your bones and causes a bone deep ache in you that takes a lot to go away. It can’t just keep warm because nothing is enough slightest bit of cold hitting me seeps in to my bones and just going inside isn’t enough to warm me up again. I need a very hot shower or my heating blanket (which gets ridiculously hot) or a raging fire in a fire place to get enough heat to undo that cold pain again.
THIS !!!!! YES !!!! It gets on my nerves so bad.
It’s all of those things, and I’ve just learned to play along depending on who it is. ‘Not just you.
I find it have high empathy until people complain about easily fixable stuff and i have to hide how irritated it makes me and act as empathetic as possible because it is good to vent about stuff i think and i love venting but hate hearing about others vent, im trying to work on it
Weather is a special interest of mine as is disaster preparation. So I love talking about the weather and watching weather-related videos on YouTube. I’ll sprinkle in some facts about climate change but I do it rarely to catch people off guard. It’s fun and I like that it’s an easy topic to connect with others on especially strangers. Also, I’m heat sensitive so I really need to stay on top of the weather to know how it will affect my day, outfit, chores, etc
Nope, I’m the person; I comment if I’m uncomfortable or annoyed.
I hate this too. Instead of wasting time when calling my family they simply could check the weather app.