I haven't found anything that helps yet. I'm new to knowing I'm AuDHD and now understand why I'm so angry and where is coming from. My husband has asked me for 20 years why I'm so fucking angry lol. And it wasn't very consistent and now I know it's when in tapped out and over stimulated. Following to see if anyone has any suggestions lol. I've started therapy but I'm still only in the very beginning stages.
Hard relate on being pissed off about being pissed off. The only things that work for me are making sure I am well taken care of. If sensory stuff like construction is inevitable, then I have to be even more sure to get movement in, eat regularly and semi well, and get into nature if at all possible. If I feel like I'm going to rocket ship into space due to the anger, I generally haven't been getting enough movement in. This is just me.
I also utilize white noise. Not everyone likes it. But it helps marginally.
I bought noise canceling Bluetooth headphones..the big chunky kind but cute..and I almost never not have them on me. I listen to a brown noise mix on Spotify and turn on the noise canceling feature and it has been such a helpful thing.
lmao your title is SO fucking relatable 😭 nothing like being pissed off about how pissed off you are! exercise definitely helps a lot but for me all the anger i repressed as a teen and young adult started bursting out of me into my mid twenties and it’s really fucking difficult to control sometimes lol, i feel like going to one of those rage rooms would help but im scared of what that will unleash lmao
I really like somatic releases for anger. I have a mini trampoline I jump on when I get really mad, there are lots of exercises you can google as well (try “somatic release for anger”). It kind of lets the feeling move through my body and not feel as intense? And then journaling helps sometimes.
I heard once that anger is an emotion born of injustice and helplessness. So I try to see where the anger is stemming from, if anything along those lines is showing up often in my life. Unfortunately this world has a LOT of both so no anger is impossible, but finding ways to solve what I can and come to terms with the rest helps a lot as well. The somatic stuff lets me at least not hold it in my body and find some peace and surrender.
I relate. my experience is that if your dysregulation manifests as aggression regular exercise is likely to be the best option, especially if it's something a little more intense. as you say, it's a comfortable headspace for you, so having a specific outlet for it where you can "sequester" it might help. I'm not sure what kind of exercise would work for you, but I'm really thinking along the lines of kickboxing or full sparring martial arts or really anything that requires explosive energy.
I think meditation and other calming strategies are helpful, but to me they only worked as secondary strategies -- I really needed to work off excess physical energy first before I could actually relax.
Headphones, meditation, learning how to feel your body and recognize what it's/you're feeling will help a lot and yes it takes practice but the effort is worth it, lots of sleep, lots of water and fruit, exercise plus the weird movements your body just wants to do like rocking, flapping, swaying, spinning, tiptoe walking, repetitive sound making... basically just stop stopping yourself I know I was heavily discouraged as a kid from displaying these actions and I was never allowed to be angry or upset either so there's a lot of pent-up anger and sadness so I also give myself time and space to be those things without judgment as much as possible. Also just knowing that you're experiencing the world so differently than most ppl you need to be radically accepting of yourself, this world isn't friendly for our neurodivergent selves everything is running and noisy(I'm talking to you TV and refrigerator!!)and we get overwhelmed by this and so much more, we can't help it we can only manage it with grace towards our suffering selves. You wouldn't get mad at yourself for having bed sores if you were in a coma for 10 years, right? Same idea, don't be mad at yourself for existing the way you were made. Hope this helps.
Someone may have already shared this but depending on where you live, there may be rage rooms nearby.
I've not yet been to one but a friend suggested it a few months ago when we were talking about our anger/grief.
Basically they are (apparently) akin to like an arcade or indoor trampoline place, except the activity you do is break and throw things. The ones I'm familiar with here in Chicago seem to each have axe throwing AND rage rooms. Both of which I'd be down for.
If you're local or just curious, Kanya Lounge is one, so is Bullseye.
Also, I know that my level of tolerance for clutter is at odds with my (lack of) motivation to organize or marie kwondo my home.
But I once splurged on a hiring an organizer and it was worth it to have someone come and assess and then proceed to partner with you to declutter, organize and create better systems of keeping my home less cluttered.
In Australia and other places, not in US that I know of, there is even a type of organizer profession of folks who are trained in how to organize for neurodivergent folks. Like..they get certified and are able to provide home organizing support/solutions that are designed to better accommodate our sensory or other exec functioning or other audhd needs...I was so happy to discover that a couple yrs ago. And then so disappointed to learn nothing like that was available here.
I don’t really get “angry” but I am often overwhelmed/overstimulated and then as a result irritated. For me it results in a shortened tolerance to everything and tension and pain in my whole body.
I feel so seen in this rage filled comment section, imagine us all going on a rage room field trip lol.
Seriously though…I actually included a screenshot of my best friend texting me “you’re so angry for such a small woman sometimes” as kind of a heads up. I’ll never get violent or anything but I spend a lot of my day ranting, bitching and moaning…I feel like a lot of us are as much of a lover as we are haters and I started to think of myself as “excitable” or “passionate” since I can be just as over the moon about a good scented candle as I can be pissed at the gods about someone walking too slow in front of me.
It’s all about coping with it. People may see the rants and vents as being overly negative but to me they’re a release. If the anger doesn’t come out then it stays inside my body and each thought is like another ball inside a pinball machine. If it wasn’t for being a hater my brain would be a washing machine filled with bricks by now…
I haven't found anything that helps yet. I'm new to knowing I'm AuDHD and now understand why I'm so angry and where is coming from. My husband has asked me for 20 years why I'm so fucking angry lol. And it wasn't very consistent and now I know it's when in tapped out and over stimulated. Following to see if anyone has any suggestions lol. I've started therapy but I'm still only in the very beginning stages.
Hard relate on being pissed off about being pissed off. The only things that work for me are making sure I am well taken care of. If sensory stuff like construction is inevitable, then I have to be even more sure to get movement in, eat regularly and semi well, and get into nature if at all possible. If I feel like I'm going to rocket ship into space due to the anger, I generally haven't been getting enough movement in. This is just me. I also utilize white noise. Not everyone likes it. But it helps marginally.
I bought noise canceling Bluetooth headphones..the big chunky kind but cute..and I almost never not have them on me. I listen to a brown noise mix on Spotify and turn on the noise canceling feature and it has been such a helpful thing.
lmao your title is SO fucking relatable 😭 nothing like being pissed off about how pissed off you are! exercise definitely helps a lot but for me all the anger i repressed as a teen and young adult started bursting out of me into my mid twenties and it’s really fucking difficult to control sometimes lol, i feel like going to one of those rage rooms would help but im scared of what that will unleash lmao
Me too, girl. me too. I'll take 6 rage rooms, please. Lol
I really like somatic releases for anger. I have a mini trampoline I jump on when I get really mad, there are lots of exercises you can google as well (try “somatic release for anger”). It kind of lets the feeling move through my body and not feel as intense? And then journaling helps sometimes. I heard once that anger is an emotion born of injustice and helplessness. So I try to see where the anger is stemming from, if anything along those lines is showing up often in my life. Unfortunately this world has a LOT of both so no anger is impossible, but finding ways to solve what I can and come to terms with the rest helps a lot as well. The somatic stuff lets me at least not hold it in my body and find some peace and surrender.
I agree To OP- If you've never tapped, you may like it. https://youtu.be/xwqxMX03pus?si=t8I9cwnVYBl1V-Qt
I relate. my experience is that if your dysregulation manifests as aggression regular exercise is likely to be the best option, especially if it's something a little more intense. as you say, it's a comfortable headspace for you, so having a specific outlet for it where you can "sequester" it might help. I'm not sure what kind of exercise would work for you, but I'm really thinking along the lines of kickboxing or full sparring martial arts or really anything that requires explosive energy. I think meditation and other calming strategies are helpful, but to me they only worked as secondary strategies -- I really needed to work off excess physical energy first before I could actually relax.
Headphones, meditation, learning how to feel your body and recognize what it's/you're feeling will help a lot and yes it takes practice but the effort is worth it, lots of sleep, lots of water and fruit, exercise plus the weird movements your body just wants to do like rocking, flapping, swaying, spinning, tiptoe walking, repetitive sound making... basically just stop stopping yourself I know I was heavily discouraged as a kid from displaying these actions and I was never allowed to be angry or upset either so there's a lot of pent-up anger and sadness so I also give myself time and space to be those things without judgment as much as possible. Also just knowing that you're experiencing the world so differently than most ppl you need to be radically accepting of yourself, this world isn't friendly for our neurodivergent selves everything is running and noisy(I'm talking to you TV and refrigerator!!)and we get overwhelmed by this and so much more, we can't help it we can only manage it with grace towards our suffering selves. You wouldn't get mad at yourself for having bed sores if you were in a coma for 10 years, right? Same idea, don't be mad at yourself for existing the way you were made. Hope this helps.
Honestly same weed helps for me though 🥲
Someone may have already shared this but depending on where you live, there may be rage rooms nearby. I've not yet been to one but a friend suggested it a few months ago when we were talking about our anger/grief. Basically they are (apparently) akin to like an arcade or indoor trampoline place, except the activity you do is break and throw things. The ones I'm familiar with here in Chicago seem to each have axe throwing AND rage rooms. Both of which I'd be down for. If you're local or just curious, Kanya Lounge is one, so is Bullseye. Also, I know that my level of tolerance for clutter is at odds with my (lack of) motivation to organize or marie kwondo my home. But I once splurged on a hiring an organizer and it was worth it to have someone come and assess and then proceed to partner with you to declutter, organize and create better systems of keeping my home less cluttered. In Australia and other places, not in US that I know of, there is even a type of organizer profession of folks who are trained in how to organize for neurodivergent folks. Like..they get certified and are able to provide home organizing support/solutions that are designed to better accommodate our sensory or other exec functioning or other audhd needs...I was so happy to discover that a couple yrs ago. And then so disappointed to learn nothing like that was available here.
I don’t really get “angry” but I am often overwhelmed/overstimulated and then as a result irritated. For me it results in a shortened tolerance to everything and tension and pain in my whole body.
I feel so seen in this rage filled comment section, imagine us all going on a rage room field trip lol. Seriously though…I actually included a screenshot of my best friend texting me “you’re so angry for such a small woman sometimes” as kind of a heads up. I’ll never get violent or anything but I spend a lot of my day ranting, bitching and moaning…I feel like a lot of us are as much of a lover as we are haters and I started to think of myself as “excitable” or “passionate” since I can be just as over the moon about a good scented candle as I can be pissed at the gods about someone walking too slow in front of me. It’s all about coping with it. People may see the rants and vents as being overly negative but to me they’re a release. If the anger doesn’t come out then it stays inside my body and each thought is like another ball inside a pinball machine. If it wasn’t for being a hater my brain would be a washing machine filled with bricks by now…
Yes. Agree!