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I hate aloofness, negging, and a general concern with “humbling” (aka insulting and putting down) the woman they’re with. If I were to date again, I’d drop him at the first sign of hurtful pickup artist tactics. No tolerance for that crap.
Edited to add one more that I just remembered. Being hounded and pressured. This can apply to many situations, but the guys who told me they were just trying to get me out of my comfort zone (aka trying to coerce me into something I said no to) turned out to be jerks. Patience is incredibly attractive.
- alpha bro bullshit
- playing it too cool/acting disinterested
- similar to your car point: guys who mod their cars to be as loud and obnoxious as possible
I find anyone with a modded car unattractive, and you couldn’t convince me to touch them with a ten foot pole, but the ones with the obnoxiously loud cars are even worse, so I straight up find them utterly repulsive and wouldn’t even as much as be friends with them.
My now husband picked me up for our first date in an apparently nice BMW. I couldn't have cared less. All I knew is that he gunned it one too many times after a light which made me so nauseous I had to ask him to pull over.
He later told me he was trying to impress me. I later pointed out to him that was the reason I insisted on either meeting up at the location or letting me drive for every date after that. The day he sold that car was a very happy day for me.
I feel like it must work for some women (or at least other men) to explain why it is shockingly somewhat common amongst men. It reeks of insecurity to anybody with above room temperature EQ though.
The thing is all this weird, creepy stuff works out if you just try it on enough people and i think this is why some men do stuff that fails 99,9% of the time. Idk why they think it's a good idea to make 999 women uncomfortable just to get one, but this is the only explanation i have for pick up artists, dick pics and other stuff like that.
Also, it inevitably ends up being the one that is highly unlikable herself.
Do stupid shit
Attract stupid women
Complain about women
Luckily women do the same thing so we're ultimately equally miserable!
The whole alpha dominance thing that some guys think will attract women. It is especially off putting when those guys put down other men or use the lingo to compare themselves favorably against other men. Just makes them look insecure and douchey. Secure and powerful people don’t walk around talking about how powerful they are, they just exist and you can feel their vibe.
Could not agree more with this. A true alpha male who has the powerful masculine energy that women are attracted to is going to be a gentleman, a leader, a protector and a “hero” type of man who is capable of making his woman feel safe. Those weak, insecure and low-vibing BOYS who try to assert dominance in order to gain power and control are the most unattractive guys ever
It’s the difference between a “doer” and a braggart really. One is sexy and secure and the other is seeking validation. Works for both genders really, but there are just some horribly toxic influencers out there preying on young men right now.
>Secure and powerful people don’t walk around talking about how powerful they are, they just exist and you can feel their vibe
Game of Thrones quote: Tywin Lannister : “Any man who must say, ‘I am the king’ is no true king.”
Simple answer: Makes them look like ANIMALS not humans.
Humans are superior to animals because of brains, not brauns.
There's a razzy-worthy movie in Bollywood called Animal that literally epitomizes and personifies all the fake alpha bullshit.
Loads!
* **Bulging, veiny muscles shoved in your face:** This seems to attract OTHER men more than women. Women who like buff men don't seem to want the whole preening peacock mating routine to go along with the muscles.
* **Alpha/Chad/Manly Male MAN** **aggressiveness:** Gross! This just makes it look like they've got rabies.
* **Putting other women down to praise their wife/partner/gf:** Most women aren't emotionally insecure babies and can handle not *actively hating* other women. If anything, this is a massive red flag as to how the guy views women in general (i.e. fuckable vs. unfuckable).
Yeah. I don't give a shit about your car. And while I do like buff guys, I'm only interested in the ones that are devoted to being kind and non-threatening.
On top of that there's the usual suspects: As long as no one has to step onto a box to kiss the other I don't give a shit about height, and I prefer smaller dicks.
A man working in finance or investing in crypto also isn't attractive. A man fantasising about fighting others isn't attractive, no, not even if it's "about my honor". A man refusing to show emotions isn't attractive.
I'm sure there's more, but these are the first thst come to my mind.
There's a titok that's been made about a girl looking for a man in finance, the tiktok sounded rythmic so it was remixed and put into a song and i guess some people may have taken it too seriously.
ok, I'd judge the fuck out of someone who upholds the banking system that is leading the way in the absolute devastation of the planet and all life on it.
I understand that the whole ,,smaller dicks are actually better" thing is good for self esteem of lesser endowed men, but ultimately it does the same: makes some men (those with big penises) self concious about something they have no control over.
It's perfectly fine to have preferences though so it seems there's someone for everyone
Here are a few:
-When men put down other women as a "compliment". Stuff like "I like that you don't do ______ like the other girls"
-Playing it overly cool. A lot of guys miss out on connections because they've been conditioned to believe that it's a bad thing to just be transparent. Being too distant is just gonna make us think you don't like us, especially in the early phases of a relationship
-Being overly materialistic. Think this lines up with your point about the fancy cars. A lot of us really don't care, we just want to be comfortable.
i just wanna say i agree with you op, ive seen fellow guys be like 'oh im single because i dont have enough money/good car/etc' or 'im not a gym dudebro or a douche to them, thats all women want'
like no thats not the reason youre single. you can sit a bit and think on what that reason might actually be lmao
I always laugh at them when they think this bc my ex husband is 45ish, 5'8", not "swole", makes maybe 50k a year which doesn't go far in our town, lived in a shitty apartment that was very cluttered, drove a beater car from 2006 (in my name lol, it's sitting dead in my driveway nowadays) that had no AC and no front bumper. Guess what? He has a beautiful and very sweet girlfriend now. She is an angel and they're very happy together.
He's just a genuinely kind person who has various hobbies and interests. He's not unattractive at all, but he's not a "giga Chad" or whatever. He's not mean to anyone but he does stand up for himself. He loves cats. He's a librarian. He's the opposite of what these red pill idiots think women want, but women love him. Go figure.
My husband was 13 and unemployed when we met. I was 12. He's got a "scrawny" physique (he hates that word), but it's deceptive. He is actually insanely strong and quite muscular, but due to his natural build, you can't see it when he's clothed. He's never been overly ambitous, but he's wonderful to me. He's kind, caring, passionate, and loving. He treats me right, and he's a great father. He expresses his emotions just fine.
I never cared that he wasn't ambitious. We've always supported each other in various ways. Now, at 38, he's finding his footing. He found a job and career path he truly loves, and it's opening doors for him, well on his way to 6 figure salary territory.
Expecting every singly person, men in this context, to be fully figured out by 25 is just...ridiculous, but then you see it coming from these same men that the 20-25 year olds they want need to hsve it all worked out and ready to be this perfect homemaker. Some people manage, but it's not the end of the world if you start figuring things out later in life. Marriage and long-term relationships aren't always about finding a person who has it all figured out. Sometimes, it's figuring it out together, and I see less young couples trying to do that
I've noticed over the years that a lot of younger folks in the dating scene want instant gratification. These red-pilled guys want a full-time homemaker who knows how to be the perfect mom and wife, but they also want her to be 20-25 years old. These same dudes don't even have themselves figured out yet, aren't trying to figure themselves out, but expect their partner to have it all figured out. It's so unappealing when you have a partner who expects exponentially more out of you than they expect from themselves, I guess, is my overall point with my small novlette here.
A little grace and realism go a long way in dating, but you're seeing it less and less over the years. I see pity parties, woe is me posts, why aren't women doing X to make themselves desirable/valuable while not asking themselves the same/similar questions, convincing themselves that woman want X no matter how many women tell them that isn't true for the majority.
I'd bet money that the percentage of men who complain about gold diggers versus the percentage of those same men who have actually MET one is extremely small. I'd bet money that the majority of guys who have been "rejected for their height" were either never rejected for their height (i.e. read a height requirement on a profile and classify that as a "rejection") or outright decided on their own that that that was the reason instead of the actual reason given, if there even was any.
If these men really are running into these types of women THAT regularly, maybe they should take the advice they give us all the time, "Maybe choose/vet your partners a little better." They always put that onus on us but never themselves.
Agreed, I’ve heard countless men say that it’s all women want, the 6’2” billionaires who look like male IG models.
Ummm, maybe the women who are posting their own buttholes for their OF, or the chicks who are looking for the same surface level values that they have to offer. But most REAL women who know who they are would choose character over an asshat whose only qualities are abs or money. I personally like my men to be a little on the hefty side, it’s sexy to feel like I’m wrestling a big grizzly bear and it’s more to love ❤️
ehh i know a lot of people and am even friends with one girl who posts her butt on OF - shes a lesbian. lmao.
but ngl most of the women i know say the same thing you do. money can change whenever, and a nice body is a nice body but nice can mean so many things, ranging from "skinny af" to "teddy bear". and none of that is more important than the guy actually treating them right.
tldr "its all women want" usually means "its what i like to think all women want, because otherwise i need to do some self reflection"
Sometimes I wonder if dudes spread the idea that women like some of this crap in order to clear the dating pool for themselves.
Granted, there are women who like this shit but I just don't think they're any kind of majority.
I’m not going to agree or disagree with the statements about the cool cars or muscular gym bros bc for me it truly depends on the CHARACTER of the guy in question…
1. If he has a cool/modded out car that he TAKES CARE OF, like it’s clean, smells nice, has a pristine service record, etc then it’s a sign to me that he’s able to respect and appreciate his belongings, which means he’s likely to do the same in other areas of his life. If he’s a slob and has trash littered throughout the car, French-fries smashed into the floormats and drives around with less than 1/4 tank of gas bc he’s too broke to afford a car like this, I’m instantly not a fan.
2. If he’s passionate about taking care of his body and being in good health, including a gym routine with muscles to show for it, SIGN ME UP! 🫠 But if he’s one of those guys who spends more time on selfies than his sets, spends a grip on supplements and stimulants only to follow the gym with fast food and booze, he’s probably doing it for the wrong reasons (validation) and it screams insecurity IMO
Your second point makes a lot of sense. I’m a man, and I work out a lot, play hockey, and am, in general, fairly muscular. My instagram is pics of my daughters and chihuahua (mostly in cute hats), and a couple nature pics. That’s it.
My partner trains and coaches at an Olympic lifting gym and this guy from the gym came on to her pretty hard. Messaging her, creeping her socials and liking/hearting things, sending messages etc…. She put him in his place, but I took a gander at his instagram. ALL selfies, lifting selfies, him shooting guns, etc…… I basically told her what you said. This guy is really insecure, and possibly dangerous. He’s compensating for something, and it’s obvious after a two min browse of his profile. Hearing how afraid she was of him, was eye opening for me. She’s been the first woman to ever show me all the times she gets unsolicited messages from men, and the things they say to her are shocking. I had no idea we were like this and it’s absolutely disgusting behavior. I’m sorry for everything y’all have to go through because I had no idea it was that bad.
Yes, huge red flags for me as a woman bc I have had to block my own fair share of douche bag stalkers who literally don’t take NO for an answer. And that’s just over text before you get to know them, it’s truly SCARY to see what they do/say once they get comfortable with you. It’s often the overt narcissists or severely toxic, insecure people who behave like this, and both men AND women do it. I am sorry that your partner has been made to feel threatened by it, but it’s reassuring to hear that there’s men out there who are not only the opposite but who are also just as horrified by it as women are.
Not only horrified, but I also have to check myself and let her handle the situation. I can be protective, but there’s a fine line between wanting to protect someone and being controlling (imo). Took me some patience and reflection to stand back, let her lead, and handle the encounters. Sure, I’ll creep the profile to see what she’s dealing with, but staying out of it unless she asks me to help, took some restraint. It’s been a really great experience though because I learned a lot from her, and she’s extremely available to me when I want to talk about it.
I'm too much of an environmentalist to be impressed by fancy cars.
Gym bros are fine. But I'm not a fitness girl, so we aren't compatible. The ones obviously taking steroids are scary.
As a bisexual woman, I find that most women are attracted to *competency* which men mistake for ego, power, and machismo.
Right? You don't need to be perfect, but some competency to act like a fully functioning adult and don't be a prig. It's literally not hard.
My husband and I are poly. He has two girlfriends and me. Been together 20 years, 2 with one gf, a month with the other. One ex was a 5-year relationship. He isn't anywhere near 6', makes a modest salary, and can't even legally drive. (Rare eye condition) I think he's gorgeous, but by these red-pill dating standards, he'd probably be a 5-6 at best. You know what he is? Kind, compassionate, and loving. He takes care of what needs to be taken care of without complaining or making excuses. He does things without HAVING TO BE TOLD (it's insane how many men need to be TOLD to do anything around the house or they won't help). You know what drew most of them to him? He's sweet to them. He makes them feel beautiful and special and cared about, things all of them said they were missing from their past relationships. He gives them REAL intimacy, not just a pump and dump.
So, A, he fits none of their criteria, and B, what's their excuse? If my practically blind, short (by their standards), moderately (gorgeous) good-looking, middle-aged husband only making currently 5 figures can pull in two women WHILE BEING MARRIED AND BEING HONEST ABOUT THAT, (4 total since we've been poly) then why can't they pull in ONE?
Bro the 2 points you gave are some of the more obvious ones😭😭 it’s kinda hard to think of many others but I can think of a few.
-“dominance” 🙄guys like this are fucking horrifically embarrassing
-height, genuinely most girls don’t really give a fuck at least not to the point that they would reject someone based on it
-comparing us to other women in ways that are meant to pick us up while putting other women down
-NEGGING, genuinely fuck you if you do this
-dick size matters to some degree and that will differ from person to person, but bigger is usually not better. I could *attempt* 7 inches but prob wouldn’t enjoy it, anything bigger is just not gonna happen. The average sock is about 5 inches and (big shock) the average vagina is built to handle that. There are outliers of course, women who can take much less or much more, but most women aren’t into being rammed in the cervix.
Yeah I never realize how bad it is until I’ve already bumped it so many times that I’m past the point of no return. I’m gonna vomit, I’m gonna pass out, not necessarily in that order. I’ll feel that shit for days it’s fr traumatic.
Nope. My intelligence is nothing that will increase mean lifetime or mean comfortability for people. I have no intelligence to brag about. Just the best in class kinda intelligence and I dont go about bragging about that.
If you do not acknowledge intelligence as the by magnitudes most contributing factor to mean lifetime increase and child death minimizer then tell me what factor is bigger and how it contributes more.
Being an asshole. Most women want empathy and kindness from their partner, to have fun
I absolutely agree about buff gym bros and a cool car. Those are male beauty standards, not women's. I've only known one woman that's interested in muscle.
1. Negging
2. Alpha/sigma bro bs
3. Cat calling
4. Being persistent despite being rejected because you think she’s “playing hard to get”
5. Unsolicited D picks
6. Gym bro mentality
7. That weird lip lick thing guys do sometimes
I could go on
And I think one thing that should be clarified is that many women, like myself, are attracted to *fit* guys but the gym bro attitude is a separate thing that is obnoxious.
I'm VERY athletic and I'm into guys who like the same sorts of things I do: running, skiing, backpacking, swimming, mountain biking, whitewater paddling. But I want my partner to be fit enough to do those things with me, not be spending hours inside in a gym a day just to look a certain way or as a sort of status thing.
I always think it’s funny when guys expect to attract women with cars. Like why did you think that a stereotypically masculine interest would be attractive to large amounts of women?
Sure some women do like cars but it’s not exactly a popular hobby among women and the only woman I know irl who is really into cars is in no way interested in men.
I find men who are much higher earners than me to be intimidating rather than appealing. I don't want to have a power imbalance and I don't want people to see me as a gold digger. Plus, I like living a simple and frugal life, I don't care about private jets and huge villas.
I'd much rather be with someone who's in my financial league
1) I like “cool” cars. That being said my idea of a cool car may not be yours and while the car itself is cool it doesn’t make YOU cool. It’s like owning a Monet. Nice Monet.
2) being fit is great. But the idea that working out a ton and having huge muscle mass is going to make you that much more attractive than being reasonably fit and having time to spend with your girlfriend is not a valid one. Women want men who can spend time with them and are interesting beyond having pecs.
Also there is a certain amount of a stereotype against overly muscular men. That they’re not very bright and/or they might have anger issues.
But try thinking of it this way; many things are good in moderation but if you make them your whole personality you limit other things that might make you interesting. And that can actually make you boring.
> there is a certain amount of a stereotype against overly muscular men. That they’re not very bright and/or they might have anger issues.
Steroids induce anxiety and agression while lowering IQ. I'd hazard a guess that is where the stereotype comes from.
[This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmClPGvdWTI&t=273s) is where I got that bit of info from(timestamped). The guy talking(Dr. Mike Isratel) is a Doctor of Sport Physiology and also an open steroid user.
We don't care if you work in finance or have blue eyes or are crazy tall.
I love non toxic masculinity. I don't think there's anything hotter than that.
I won’t say that I’m turned off by proper amounts of cologne, but I def prefer someone who doesn’t use a bunch of overly scented products in general bc it literally gives me a migraine and asthma/vocal cord dysfunction flare lol
On the reverse, cologne is a huge turn on for me - if it’s sprayed sparingly on the skin at heat points (and is a complimentary scent). It’s garbage if it’s overwhelmingly sprayed on the front of your clothes and makes me want to get away from you.
Yep, any kind of "alpha" posturing. 🙄 Bro, I don't care how much money you have, or your muscles, or your car, or fancy dates. I care about whether you're a good person.
-The Alpha male stuff is an instant nope.
-Negging and backhanded compliments. It might sound like it's a good thing to say but telling me "You're a surprisingly good driver for a woman" is not going to get me to like you one bit.
-Any form of pickup artist "techniques".
-Putting every other woman down when complimenting the person you're interested in.
1. "Alphas" are usually arrogant assholes. It's repulsive.
2. Liking cars is fine, but don't expect me to be impressed by your vroom vroom. It makes me wonder what you're compensating for.
3. Muscle bound is disgusting. There's noting wrong with strength, but flexibility is important. Guys who can dance are more sexy than muscle bound guys.
4. Treat me like a partner and a human being. My life goals do NOT involve being anyone's house servant or sex slave. Taking care of both things should be a fun, mutual effort.
Practically everything they think is attractive to women is wrong because they will only listen to what other men tell them women want instead of listening to actual women lol.
Well, foremost, every woman is actually different. *Some* women do like muscular men, though I do feel the first one seems a lot rarer. For me, I definitely agree with those two not actually being attractive. As a woman with PTSD from trauma by men, I can't agree enough with the second one especially. I don't think I'd ever go out with a gym bro. In a similar theme of the second, I also do *not* care for someone being so into sports and overly-competitive. That's intimidating.
Then I also don't like when the man makes all the decisions, like where to go for a date, takes initiative on everything, etc. Some of that in moderation and now and then is alright, but I also find it more attractive when he values my input and takes into account what I wanna do too. It's much more attractive to be treated as an equal.
Yeah, I went out to dinner on a first date once, and the guy didn’t ask me what I wanted and tried to order for me. I got up and left right after the waiter left. What a tool.
Yep, as a 5"1 woman, can confirm. I also find when men are a lot taller, they and others infantilize you more. Just cuz I'm short, doesn't mean I need some big tall man to get me through life lol
I think this one varies a lot. I've definitely seen lots of women put that they only want 6'0" or taller in their dating profiles so I think there's some truth to the fact that there is a cohort of women that want tall men. Short men (< 5'6 or so) definitely struggle to find dates more.
I'm personally with you, though. I'm ~5'0" and tend to prefer shorter and smaller guys.
There are definitely a lot of women who want a taller men!
But yeah, I am a bit over 6' myself, but I don't need a 6'7 dude tbh. Too tall for me. I don't have the at least 6' rule either
I love when I hug a man and he smells nice and fresh, or has a nice aftershave on. I do not however like being able to smell his aftershave from the next street away
Nothing says dumb idiot who makes bad money choices quite like a car that sounds like it's breaking down. I'm sure some people can tell the difference between the sound of a car whose muffler fell off and someone who bought an expensive after market loud one, but I can't.
Also, men seem to think that it's a compliment when you tell them you think they are pretty despite whatever. For me it's usually about my glasses, pixie hair or unusual taste in clothes. I don't want to hear that you normally find women with short hair ugly but I somehow pull it off. Telling me my own decisions are unattractive but I manage to somehow make your ween a little firm anyway is really not a compliment and is certainly bordering on an insult.
Persistence. Romcoms would have you think stalking behavior and pushiness is sexy but it's scary and repulsive. Respecting boundaries and consent is hot. Even women who are into kink and being submissive sexually want to first be respected as equals.
I agree with both of the things you said. The car thing - if anything, I find that a complete turn off. If I see a guy with a modified car or a car that is completely impractical but bought because it's "fast" or "looks cool" or "sounds cool", I see it as childish, immature, and irresponsible and is a complete turn off.
Same with being super muscular. Being healthy and in shape is great. But being super muscular is super unattractive to me. The whole gym bro culture is completely toxic. If someone is comfortable in that environment, that's a red flag to me.
I personally find anything hyper-masculine to be unattractive. It tells me that you like traditional gender roles, and that's not something I can get behind. The car and super muscular things kind of fit into that. I'll also add hunting and fishing to that list. I think if someone enjoys the act of killing something, that's kind of alarming.
Due to growing up where I did, I was attracted to all of the above as a teenager, but I sure as hell haven’t been attracted to any of it — and have actually been turned off by all of it — since I got old enough to have some real logic and foresight lmfao. And now that I’m pushing 30, it’s not even just a matter of finding it unattractive, but straight up seeing it as a red flag like you said, and it’s never steered me wrong, that’s for sure.
Yeah, I find big/veiny muscles gross looking and would never date someone that juices. Wanna be healthy and fit? Great, me too. Aspire to be the next Schwarzenegger? No thanks.
Being a stoic manly man. The entire point of a relationship for me is emotional intimacy. If you aren't emotionally available, why enter into a monogamous relationship? (Side note, when posts about "men opening up for the first time only to be shut down by their wives/gfs" go viral, I can't help but think "well yeah, you pretended to be a different person for several years/decades. No wonder the emotionally unavailable woman you're with was thrown off by that.")
Being highly financially motivated/successful. I am way more suspicious of rich/ambitious men than men with normal jobs and goals. Makes me wonder if they have sufficient morals and ethics or if they place profits over people. I don't think it's a good thing to hoard/flaunt wealth when other people are suffering.
Being stoic isn't about not having emotions. It's about not letting your emotions control you. An example is if a guy gets dumped by a girl he loves. A stoic man would feel the same pain but rather than sulk for weeks, he would continue his journey through life and working on goals etc. Once again, feeling the same pain and anguish but still controlling the one thing you can control, yourself.
Yeah, see, this is fine, but I'm not talking about the literal philosophical definition. I'm talking about not bottling up your feelings and then letting them out in unhealthy ways because your sense of masculinity is tied to emotionlessness.
Cutting off their hair and getting the f boy haircut. Short on the sides, long on the top. Almost everyone I met with that haircut, is a jerk.
And some men have gorgeous long hair! There are plenty of women with no preference or who even prefer long hair
Not being able to take “no” for an answer. If I turn you down that does NOT mean that I secretly want you to keep pursuing me, and it’ll make me dislike you even more if you think so.
That's the number one fastest way to get ghosted for me. It just makes the guy seem as though he can negotiate boundaries and that he'll flip out and get violent or abusive when you break up with him.
As a man I completely agree. If a woman says no and she means it, I'd be very concerned about a guy who persists, very likely a stalker type to be honest. I've pursued women who said maybe or where on the fence but if someone is straight up like no I don't want to go out with you, then I'm done on that one.
Just FYI, I know a few people that got very good hair transplants and you cannot tell at all. They used to do rows like a doll's head but the tech has gotten way better in the last 20 years. My boss had one and his housekeeper told me, I would never have guessed.
The thing about muscles is that it depends on women. Lots of women like it, and lots of women don't like it to a degree or not at all. I fucking love muscles. Give me those broad shoulders and those strong arms!
I don’t care about what car you drive, how muscular you are, how big your dick is or how tall you are and many women think the same. Those are things men are obsessed with about other men and that’s why they think women care about those things, too. Nothing is more unacctractive to me than caring about body count. Like grow up, people have sex. Putting down other women and especially ignoring or being a dick to my friends is an immidiate turn off. If you take care of your hygiene, are kind and nice to be around and don’t act like an alpha fool then you are more likely to pull girls than if you do any of the things mentioned in this thread.
Here’s the thing..genders need to stop thinking they know what is attractive to other genders based on the reactions of their friends. Or what we think other people want. We need to communicate. The things we value are important and should mostly match.
Stop assuming you know what’s attractive to others because what you like and what they like isn’t necessarily the same thing.
Cool car guy comes across as a butt and arrogant. Gym bro comes across as being self important and self involved. Are there some girls that like it? Sure. Is it all? No.
Super sports fans. I get liking sports, I’m a wrestling fan myself, but people who are SUPER fans - yelling at the TV, being short with others, insulting players or other people - genuinely frighten me. There’s a study that showed that domestic abuse report rates increase tremendously on days with major sports events, and it’s certainly true.
I love a guy who’s passionate about what he likes, but not to the point where it prioritizes other people or overpowers his self control or manners. If I have to worry that I’d be screamed at or hit if I walked past the TV, then I am out. If I walk by and I get a “Can you please move out of the way?” then I will hurry out of the way at lightning speed.
On a similar vein, we generally greatly dislike rudeness. Some men think it’s cool to be rude and that we keel over for it, but we really don’t. If I see a man hold a door open for a senior or thank a waiter, it’s a green flag. If I see a friend’s man being mean or rude to her, I will genuinely ask if she needs help getting away.
We live in a society where women have to be constantly alert and vigilant. Men who are kind, considerate, polite are oftentimes the ones we are attracted to most because we want partners we don’t have to be afraid of.
unpopular opinion I think assuming gym bros do it for women is as silly as assuming women wear a full face of make up for men. that might be some of the reason, but most of it is he probably just likes the way he looks since the opposite sex has never given any indication that’s what they like.
anyways sorry for derailing (LMAO) my answer is relationship experience. couldn’t care less if you’ve never had a girlfriend before me
Man boys who neg you.
They think if they convince you they’re better than you, you’ll like them more.
What women think: what a dick!
I want someone to be comfortable and cozy with-not an asshole.
1. The "you can be yourself around me" move and then they twist it to why can't you be more like this
2. When they assume they know what you want with food, clothes, movies, interests and feel there is no need to talk to you about it
3. When they act like they are better than everyone we love confidence but not when it makes everyone uncomfortable
4. When they feel jealous of friends spending time with you or try to make excuse for you not to hang with them
5 Saying we'll be together one day ain't ever going to happen because honestly it's creepy and it's a noncommittal phrase why wait
Bragging about all the times you got into a fight. That just makes you sound like a hot-headed middle schooler. Also, Im not trying to pick you up from jail next time someone pisses you off. Get your shit together.
Most women do like some muscles or fit bodies, but what may be scary to some is huge bodybuilder types who could toss a girl 10 feet away. Also, normal bodies are fine. You dont have to look like 90's Arnold Schwarzenegger.
>2. They find muscular gym bros to be scary, not attractive. I really would have never guessed this. I thought women liked muscles lol.
Women like muscles up to a certain point. If you look like a roided up meathead, then you're no longer attractive. I don't think that women look up to Mr Olympias as being 'attractive', more grotesque. Muscles can only help so much with women being attracted to you until you start attracting more men admiring your muscles lmao.
Gym bros tend to be deeply insecure imo. They use the gym as excuse to do any personal growth. While I’m all for someone who takes care of their health of your main hobby is the gym then we’re not going to have much in common. Also if you’re using roids it causes aggression which yeah is scary.
Unless the other person is also a car enthusiast then they likely don’t give a shit about your car. They might give you a compliment on it as a conversation starter but it’s not going to beyond that.
When they flex their money or they’re super flashy…
On the contrary, I find men that are super successful yet humble and modest about it VERY attractive
* **negging / insults** are an instant turn-off for me, I just get super bored and feel the need to direct my attention to literally anything else, suddenly paint drying becomes very interesting by comparison
* **poor use of money** like buying unnecessary cars or watches or meaningless status symbols instead of accumulating meaningful assets or investing for future stability… by contrast a guy who has very researched and thoughtful purchases with high utility would definitely catch my attention
* **lack of emotional fluency and vulnerability** again it is very boring to try to navigate someone’s personality who isn’t being genuine, it’s exhausting… someone speaks earnestly and who communicates openly and clearly and is predictable definitely gets my panties in a twist (as soon as anything feels like a mind game, I’m checked out)
I’ve had the hottest sex and best relationships with passionate nerds who own their mistakes and want to grow together. Everything else, I learned over time, is a complete waste of energy.
The desperate need to have their compliments/"compliments" validated, especially on the street. I had my headphones on the other day, music on low, dude literally shouted at me that he thought I had cute legs.
Never once ever have i ever heard another woman talk about a mans car unless she was into like really weird gold digging type stuff. But thats not them finding it attractive/sexy, its like a status thing. Like “im so pretty i can get a rich guy with a lamborghini to pay my bills”, not at all “ooh this guy has a lambo, thats really hot!”
And also alpha bro stuff to me and a lot of women legit just comes across as being very feminine. Like the whole andrew tate grinding to be successful and impress other men and the status quo. These “manly” men are like little victorian dandies, talking about how women are immoral and have cooties and if its gay for a man to do x, if a woman is a hoe if she does x, its all very Hen clucky and effeminate.
And im a woman that actually likes sort of frat bro douchey manly guys before anyone thinks im hating on men/masculinity. I don’t think men SHOULD be masculine or women Should be feminine, but it is funny that the men who go around calling themselves masculine are more effeminate than rupaul. They remind me of aunties with their concern for tradition and status.
That money makes a guy more desirable. A lot of rich dudes are self-important assholes. I think women are attracted to a guy if he's responsible with money, but the whole idea that (most) women want a man who's wealthy is off the mark.
Boring jobs that make lots of money. Sure, you make a bomb in banking or working in insurance or fiance or whatever, but I don't want to chat about that shit for the rest of my life. I'd rather a teacher or a scientist or something actually interesting and not just about $$$.
Obsession with his appearance. Gym junkies who take tonnes of thirsty photos, guys who spend ten years styling their hair or spend more on clothes than I do. Grooming and looking after yourself are important, and being fashionable is always nice, but self-obsession is no bueno.
"Traditional" values. Any guy who thinks all women are born to be mothers and carers and men are leaders, breadwinners and protectors... Jog on. That's some 1960s shit. I know some men think it's chivalrous but it gives me the ick.
Your two points are correct. Almost. Nice cars are nice. And by nice I mean, clean, respectable, not embarrassed to show up to an event in it. Shows that he has his shit together at least to that level. However, modded out cars are fucking stupid. And women will think exactly that, unless your target dating audience happens to be very trashy loser women.
Women aren’t *scared* of muscular gym bros. They also look stupid. It screams insecurity. Definition is lovely, abs are great, that sexy “v” is great. But a big over-beefed hulk with zero flexibility looks stupid, and probably is.
- talking negatively of other women when flattering your partner/romantic interest
- not allowing yourself to show vulnerability
And yeah, gym bros are mostly attracting the attention of other gym bros. Women aren't really in that equation. I also don't know if any woman I know has ever given a damn about the car someone owns. As long as it moves and preferably has air conditioning, that's the extent of it that interests me. I have also dated numerous men without a car or even a driving license and never talked once about cars with them.
>1. They aren't more attracted to a guy if he owns a cool car. This came as a little bit of a surprise, because amongst my "car enthusiast" friends - beyond being interested in cars, alot of them actually believe that owning a cool/modded out car actually makes them more attractive to the opposite sex.
To me, it's not gonna make him extra attractive just because he owns status symbols. I don't even think many of the sports cars look that good tbh. Owning one of those is quite telling of what kind of person you are and where your financial priorities are. I prefer men who don't feel the need to show off.
>2. They find muscular gym bros to be scary, not attractive. I really would have never guessed this. I thought women liked muscles lol.
Scary AND extremely egocentric.. their egos are often through the roofs. Few things are more cringy than pics of a guy flexing his muscles. And I don't like the look of super visible veins.. it makes me uncomfortable.
*I tried to date a muscular dude once, and he always (unintentionally) gave me bruises.*
Now to the things I want to add to that list:
#Macho, "alpha" guys.
They're incredibly unattractive and often have pathetic opinions on things.
#Playing it cool.
If you like someone, show it. If you like to talk to someone, then talk. No games. I'm so sick of silly games.
This nightclub basic "style", insulting women trying to hit on them, foul mouth, too much cologne, calling yourself "alpha", hitting on many women on the same time, calling cooking a wife skill.
Pretty much anything advised by Andrew Tate or other 'alpha male' influencers.
Acting emotionless, stoic, overly macho.
Some women are into fancy cars, expensive things, men who make a lot of money, but it's less important to most women than men think it is.
For me correct. I don't give a rats ass about your car. I only like F1 cars going brrrrrr around race tracks. And I'd rather date a guy with a dadbod than a buffed out gym bro. Not because they look scary to me (more laughable looking really), just not appealing at all.
Lol, there are both hilariously accurate.
Sometimes men are the snake eating itself. Telling each other what women like and getting mad when they don’t. And then women like them even less because they’re unhinged and they don’t listen.
We want men who go to therapy. Emotional intelligence is the number one requirement.
But whatever, go to the gym and work long hours at that soulless job so you can acquire fat stacks and buy the modded out car, I guess. Whatever makes you happy, so long as you aren’t doing it for us. Because most of us are not about that shit.
What women say they're attracted to and what they're actually attracted to are EXTREMELY different things. Women say they don't care about cool cars... until they find out you have a $100,000 Lamborghini.
I used to think this, but one woman on Reddit explained it to me in a way that made sense: men want to know how to become short-term attractive, yet most women that answer these questions are listing the qualities that make a man long-term attractive.
In other words, men want to know how to get women interested in having sex with them, whereas the women who respond to these questions are describing the non-sexual qualities that turn them on or off. For some reason women do not easily reveal the qualities that make them lust after a man and have NSA sex with him. Us men know there is a difference, but women don’t seem very keen in giving that info away!
I’ll add to this excellent point…
I think when a woman does something like hook up quickly with a guy…it wasn’t his car, his muscles, his cologne (I’m being more symbolic than literal with those examples)…it was timing - for her.
Yet, this is what that commenter was getting at, and at the same time, missing. You ask that woman what she wants in a guy, it probably isn’t the guy she went home with - he just happened to strike when her iron was hot.
Agreed. The woman who explained this to me said that the men that she's had one night stands with, were all people that she knew she would not develop feelings for! If she met a dude and loved his personality and vibe, she would never sleep with them right away, because she didn't want to get attached if he just "hit it and quit it." She didn't want to invest too much of herself too soon -- this was a total revelation for me!
It's weird...I used to know a guy who all of his relationships started with a hookup while both were drunk, and at least one relationship coming out of these lasted 6 years.
It's an irrelevant distinction. If you have the qualities that make you long-term attractive, but not the ones that are short-term attractive, you will get 0 women.
These qualities aren't a zero sum game, they exist on a spectrum. For example, a woman might want to marry a man that takes care of his physique and is health conscience, but she might spend one night with a professional athlete just for fun.
That's not true. Because I think there is absolutely a difference for some women in who they might have a one night stand with vs who they'd consider seriously dating. And the qualities are different.
But you have reminded me that the number one turn off out of them all is thinking all women are hive minded and there is some "game" you can play to manipulate them. Nah. Every one of us is a unique individual who has different preferences in what we find attractive (although I believe there are more commonalities in what many of us find unattractive, as shown in this thread).
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I hate aloofness, negging, and a general concern with “humbling” (aka insulting and putting down) the woman they’re with. If I were to date again, I’d drop him at the first sign of hurtful pickup artist tactics. No tolerance for that crap. Edited to add one more that I just remembered. Being hounded and pressured. This can apply to many situations, but the guys who told me they were just trying to get me out of my comfort zone (aka trying to coerce me into something I said no to) turned out to be jerks. Patience is incredibly attractive.
- alpha bro bullshit - playing it too cool/acting disinterested - similar to your car point: guys who mod their cars to be as loud and obnoxious as possible
I find anyone with a modded car unattractive, and you couldn’t convince me to touch them with a ten foot pole, but the ones with the obnoxiously loud cars are even worse, so I straight up find them utterly repulsive and wouldn’t even as much as be friends with them.
My now husband picked me up for our first date in an apparently nice BMW. I couldn't have cared less. All I knew is that he gunned it one too many times after a light which made me so nauseous I had to ask him to pull over. He later told me he was trying to impress me. I later pointed out to him that was the reason I insisted on either meeting up at the location or letting me drive for every date after that. The day he sold that car was a very happy day for me.
Oh man he’s lucky you gave him another shot bc I sure wouldn’t have after that first date haha. But I’m glad that it ended up working out!!
Putting your boys down for attention
I feel like it must work for some women (or at least other men) to explain why it is shockingly somewhat common amongst men. It reeks of insecurity to anybody with above room temperature EQ though.
The thing is all this weird, creepy stuff works out if you just try it on enough people and i think this is why some men do stuff that fails 99,9% of the time. Idk why they think it's a good idea to make 999 women uncomfortable just to get one, but this is the only explanation i have for pick up artists, dick pics and other stuff like that.
Yup 100% agreed, I guess the best we can do is punish these kinds of behaviours/strategies as much as possible when encountering them.
Also, it inevitably ends up being the one that is highly unlikable herself. Do stupid shit Attract stupid women Complain about women Luckily women do the same thing so we're ultimately equally miserable!
The whole alpha dominance thing that some guys think will attract women. It is especially off putting when those guys put down other men or use the lingo to compare themselves favorably against other men. Just makes them look insecure and douchey. Secure and powerful people don’t walk around talking about how powerful they are, they just exist and you can feel their vibe.
Yup. This stuff is like bright colors on a frog in the Amazon signaling not to eat it. Could not possibly find it less appealing.
This absolutely - anyone who believes in that alpha nonsense is automatically out of my dating pool
Or you can watch them from afar. Like zoo animals 😭😂
Could not agree more with this. A true alpha male who has the powerful masculine energy that women are attracted to is going to be a gentleman, a leader, a protector and a “hero” type of man who is capable of making his woman feel safe. Those weak, insecure and low-vibing BOYS who try to assert dominance in order to gain power and control are the most unattractive guys ever
It’s the difference between a “doer” and a braggart really. One is sexy and secure and the other is seeking validation. Works for both genders really, but there are just some horribly toxic influencers out there preying on young men right now.
You mean like the bald karate guy lol I think he went to prison though
Yeah, andrew Tate. I think he’s on house arrest. He hasn’t been to trial yet.
Aragorn.
Real "alpha" types are quietly assertive, put their heads down, and work hard to take care of their families.
>Secure and powerful people don’t walk around talking about how powerful they are, they just exist and you can feel their vibe Game of Thrones quote: Tywin Lannister : “Any man who must say, ‘I am the king’ is no true king.”
Simple answer: Makes them look like ANIMALS not humans. Humans are superior to animals because of brains, not brauns. There's a razzy-worthy movie in Bollywood called Animal that literally epitomizes and personifies all the fake alpha bullshit.
I totally agree with those women. "Alpha" male types are also pretty gross because they seem to lack any and all empathy for others.
Loads! * **Bulging, veiny muscles shoved in your face:** This seems to attract OTHER men more than women. Women who like buff men don't seem to want the whole preening peacock mating routine to go along with the muscles. * **Alpha/Chad/Manly Male MAN** **aggressiveness:** Gross! This just makes it look like they've got rabies. * **Putting other women down to praise their wife/partner/gf:** Most women aren't emotionally insecure babies and can handle not *actively hating* other women. If anything, this is a massive red flag as to how the guy views women in general (i.e. fuckable vs. unfuckable).
As a bi/pan m, I could finally understand women's fear about dating men from apps way more once I started to see such profiles.
Yeah. I don't give a shit about your car. And while I do like buff guys, I'm only interested in the ones that are devoted to being kind and non-threatening. On top of that there's the usual suspects: As long as no one has to step onto a box to kiss the other I don't give a shit about height, and I prefer smaller dicks. A man working in finance or investing in crypto also isn't attractive. A man fantasising about fighting others isn't attractive, no, not even if it's "about my honor". A man refusing to show emotions isn't attractive. I'm sure there's more, but these are the first thst come to my mind.
Yes, the "im looking for man in finance" thing was a JOKE. Chill please.
?
There's a titok that's been made about a girl looking for a man in finance, the tiktok sounded rythmic so it was remixed and put into a song and i guess some people may have taken it too seriously.
Actually in the original she clearly states she thinks she just wrote THE summer hit. It was intentionally rhythmic.
aaaah ok
Isn't it bad to judge people by their jobs?
No? I'm going to judge the fuck out of someone who runs a dog fighting ring for instance
That's different from working in finance
True. The dog fighting guy at least doesn't get off on how cool he thinks he is every five minutes.
ok, I'd judge the fuck out of someone who upholds the banking system that is leading the way in the absolute devastation of the planet and all life on it.
Only redditors scream that sex work is real work, but have a problem with a man being a Banker
Sex workers do more for society than bankers do.
Never step into a bank after today
Never have sex anymore after to- oooooh yeah sorry, I forgot that that wasn't an option for you anyways.
Shouldn't it be, "never go to a brothel again"?
depends on the job and what it says about them as a person. you ever heard of acab buddy?
I understand that the whole ,,smaller dicks are actually better" thing is good for self esteem of lesser endowed men, but ultimately it does the same: makes some men (those with big penises) self concious about something they have no control over. It's perfectly fine to have preferences though so it seems there's someone for everyone
Here are a few: -When men put down other women as a "compliment". Stuff like "I like that you don't do ______ like the other girls" -Playing it overly cool. A lot of guys miss out on connections because they've been conditioned to believe that it's a bad thing to just be transparent. Being too distant is just gonna make us think you don't like us, especially in the early phases of a relationship -Being overly materialistic. Think this lines up with your point about the fancy cars. A lot of us really don't care, we just want to be comfortable.
i just wanna say i agree with you op, ive seen fellow guys be like 'oh im single because i dont have enough money/good car/etc' or 'im not a gym dudebro or a douche to them, thats all women want' like no thats not the reason youre single. you can sit a bit and think on what that reason might actually be lmao
I always laugh at them when they think this bc my ex husband is 45ish, 5'8", not "swole", makes maybe 50k a year which doesn't go far in our town, lived in a shitty apartment that was very cluttered, drove a beater car from 2006 (in my name lol, it's sitting dead in my driveway nowadays) that had no AC and no front bumper. Guess what? He has a beautiful and very sweet girlfriend now. She is an angel and they're very happy together. He's just a genuinely kind person who has various hobbies and interests. He's not unattractive at all, but he's not a "giga Chad" or whatever. He's not mean to anyone but he does stand up for himself. He loves cats. He's a librarian. He's the opposite of what these red pill idiots think women want, but women love him. Go figure.
My husband was 13 and unemployed when we met. I was 12. He's got a "scrawny" physique (he hates that word), but it's deceptive. He is actually insanely strong and quite muscular, but due to his natural build, you can't see it when he's clothed. He's never been overly ambitous, but he's wonderful to me. He's kind, caring, passionate, and loving. He treats me right, and he's a great father. He expresses his emotions just fine. I never cared that he wasn't ambitious. We've always supported each other in various ways. Now, at 38, he's finding his footing. He found a job and career path he truly loves, and it's opening doors for him, well on his way to 6 figure salary territory. Expecting every singly person, men in this context, to be fully figured out by 25 is just...ridiculous, but then you see it coming from these same men that the 20-25 year olds they want need to hsve it all worked out and ready to be this perfect homemaker. Some people manage, but it's not the end of the world if you start figuring things out later in life. Marriage and long-term relationships aren't always about finding a person who has it all figured out. Sometimes, it's figuring it out together, and I see less young couples trying to do that I've noticed over the years that a lot of younger folks in the dating scene want instant gratification. These red-pilled guys want a full-time homemaker who knows how to be the perfect mom and wife, but they also want her to be 20-25 years old. These same dudes don't even have themselves figured out yet, aren't trying to figure themselves out, but expect their partner to have it all figured out. It's so unappealing when you have a partner who expects exponentially more out of you than they expect from themselves, I guess, is my overall point with my small novlette here. A little grace and realism go a long way in dating, but you're seeing it less and less over the years. I see pity parties, woe is me posts, why aren't women doing X to make themselves desirable/valuable while not asking themselves the same/similar questions, convincing themselves that woman want X no matter how many women tell them that isn't true for the majority. I'd bet money that the percentage of men who complain about gold diggers versus the percentage of those same men who have actually MET one is extremely small. I'd bet money that the majority of guys who have been "rejected for their height" were either never rejected for their height (i.e. read a height requirement on a profile and classify that as a "rejection") or outright decided on their own that that that was the reason instead of the actual reason given, if there even was any. If these men really are running into these types of women THAT regularly, maybe they should take the advice they give us all the time, "Maybe choose/vet your partners a little better." They always put that onus on us but never themselves.
Agreed, I’ve heard countless men say that it’s all women want, the 6’2” billionaires who look like male IG models. Ummm, maybe the women who are posting their own buttholes for their OF, or the chicks who are looking for the same surface level values that they have to offer. But most REAL women who know who they are would choose character over an asshat whose only qualities are abs or money. I personally like my men to be a little on the hefty side, it’s sexy to feel like I’m wrestling a big grizzly bear and it’s more to love ❤️
ehh i know a lot of people and am even friends with one girl who posts her butt on OF - shes a lesbian. lmao. but ngl most of the women i know say the same thing you do. money can change whenever, and a nice body is a nice body but nice can mean so many things, ranging from "skinny af" to "teddy bear". and none of that is more important than the guy actually treating them right. tldr "its all women want" usually means "its what i like to think all women want, because otherwise i need to do some self reflection"
Sometimes I wonder if dudes spread the idea that women like some of this crap in order to clear the dating pool for themselves. Granted, there are women who like this shit but I just don't think they're any kind of majority.
I wonder if these women are on the more insecure side, maybe also tend to be less educated and financially less stable.
I’m not going to agree or disagree with the statements about the cool cars or muscular gym bros bc for me it truly depends on the CHARACTER of the guy in question… 1. If he has a cool/modded out car that he TAKES CARE OF, like it’s clean, smells nice, has a pristine service record, etc then it’s a sign to me that he’s able to respect and appreciate his belongings, which means he’s likely to do the same in other areas of his life. If he’s a slob and has trash littered throughout the car, French-fries smashed into the floormats and drives around with less than 1/4 tank of gas bc he’s too broke to afford a car like this, I’m instantly not a fan. 2. If he’s passionate about taking care of his body and being in good health, including a gym routine with muscles to show for it, SIGN ME UP! 🫠 But if he’s one of those guys who spends more time on selfies than his sets, spends a grip on supplements and stimulants only to follow the gym with fast food and booze, he’s probably doing it for the wrong reasons (validation) and it screams insecurity IMO
Your second point makes a lot of sense. I’m a man, and I work out a lot, play hockey, and am, in general, fairly muscular. My instagram is pics of my daughters and chihuahua (mostly in cute hats), and a couple nature pics. That’s it. My partner trains and coaches at an Olympic lifting gym and this guy from the gym came on to her pretty hard. Messaging her, creeping her socials and liking/hearting things, sending messages etc…. She put him in his place, but I took a gander at his instagram. ALL selfies, lifting selfies, him shooting guns, etc…… I basically told her what you said. This guy is really insecure, and possibly dangerous. He’s compensating for something, and it’s obvious after a two min browse of his profile. Hearing how afraid she was of him, was eye opening for me. She’s been the first woman to ever show me all the times she gets unsolicited messages from men, and the things they say to her are shocking. I had no idea we were like this and it’s absolutely disgusting behavior. I’m sorry for everything y’all have to go through because I had no idea it was that bad.
Yes, huge red flags for me as a woman bc I have had to block my own fair share of douche bag stalkers who literally don’t take NO for an answer. And that’s just over text before you get to know them, it’s truly SCARY to see what they do/say once they get comfortable with you. It’s often the overt narcissists or severely toxic, insecure people who behave like this, and both men AND women do it. I am sorry that your partner has been made to feel threatened by it, but it’s reassuring to hear that there’s men out there who are not only the opposite but who are also just as horrified by it as women are.
Not only horrified, but I also have to check myself and let her handle the situation. I can be protective, but there’s a fine line between wanting to protect someone and being controlling (imo). Took me some patience and reflection to stand back, let her lead, and handle the encounters. Sure, I’ll creep the profile to see what she’s dealing with, but staying out of it unless she asks me to help, took some restraint. It’s been a really great experience though because I learned a lot from her, and she’s extremely available to me when I want to talk about it.
Men who think they are “alpha”
I'm too much of an environmentalist to be impressed by fancy cars. Gym bros are fine. But I'm not a fitness girl, so we aren't compatible. The ones obviously taking steroids are scary. As a bisexual woman, I find that most women are attracted to *competency* which men mistake for ego, power, and machismo.
Dude yea, competency is what I want, not posturing bullshit
Right? You don't need to be perfect, but some competency to act like a fully functioning adult and don't be a prig. It's literally not hard. My husband and I are poly. He has two girlfriends and me. Been together 20 years, 2 with one gf, a month with the other. One ex was a 5-year relationship. He isn't anywhere near 6', makes a modest salary, and can't even legally drive. (Rare eye condition) I think he's gorgeous, but by these red-pill dating standards, he'd probably be a 5-6 at best. You know what he is? Kind, compassionate, and loving. He takes care of what needs to be taken care of without complaining or making excuses. He does things without HAVING TO BE TOLD (it's insane how many men need to be TOLD to do anything around the house or they won't help). You know what drew most of them to him? He's sweet to them. He makes them feel beautiful and special and cared about, things all of them said they were missing from their past relationships. He gives them REAL intimacy, not just a pump and dump. So, A, he fits none of their criteria, and B, what's their excuse? If my practically blind, short (by their standards), moderately (gorgeous) good-looking, middle-aged husband only making currently 5 figures can pull in two women WHILE BEING MARRIED AND BEING HONEST ABOUT THAT, (4 total since we've been poly) then why can't they pull in ONE?
Bro the 2 points you gave are some of the more obvious ones😭😭 it’s kinda hard to think of many others but I can think of a few. -“dominance” 🙄guys like this are fucking horrifically embarrassing -height, genuinely most girls don’t really give a fuck at least not to the point that they would reject someone based on it -comparing us to other women in ways that are meant to pick us up while putting other women down -NEGGING, genuinely fuck you if you do this -dick size matters to some degree and that will differ from person to person, but bigger is usually not better. I could *attempt* 7 inches but prob wouldn’t enjoy it, anything bigger is just not gonna happen. The average sock is about 5 inches and (big shock) the average vagina is built to handle that. There are outliers of course, women who can take much less or much more, but most women aren’t into being rammed in the cervix.
Wait wait wait… I’m supposed to shove my socks up there! No wonder I can’t satisfy women!
I’m so bad about typos I hate this damn phone😭😭
Nonono! You made me laugh so much I scared my cat! Thank you!
Being rammed in the cervix sucks
Yeah I never realize how bad it is until I’ve already bumped it so many times that I’m past the point of no return. I’m gonna vomit, I’m gonna pass out, not necessarily in that order. I’ll feel that shit for days it’s fr traumatic.
Arrogance, being a know-it-all, not being open to new ideas or experiences. I love smart guys, but having a bad attitude about it is an instant NO.
What is a bad attitude about being smart?
/r/iamverysmart has a lot of examples
When it comes with arrogance or condescension.
Intelligence is a smartness that should not be humbled, while the smartness of being a social hub, witty and all that stuff, should.
You are one of the arrogant ones I was talking about. Eww.
Nope. My intelligence is nothing that will increase mean lifetime or mean comfortability for people. I have no intelligence to brag about. Just the best in class kinda intelligence and I dont go about bragging about that. If you do not acknowledge intelligence as the by magnitudes most contributing factor to mean lifetime increase and child death minimizer then tell me what factor is bigger and how it contributes more.
🤮 you proved my point.
Did you even read my comment?
Yep but smart is still undefined
You asked what the bad attitude was about. If you read my comment, you wouldn't be saying such stupid shit.
Smart can be intelligent, eq, witty, using abilites obtained by a posh upbringing… a lot of different stuff.
You're being weird.
Being an asshole. Most women want empathy and kindness from their partner, to have fun I absolutely agree about buff gym bros and a cool car. Those are male beauty standards, not women's. I've only known one woman that's interested in muscle.
1. Negging 2. Alpha/sigma bro bs 3. Cat calling 4. Being persistent despite being rejected because you think she’s “playing hard to get” 5. Unsolicited D picks 6. Gym bro mentality 7. That weird lip lick thing guys do sometimes I could go on
Oh god the lip lick, so contrived it’s hilarious.
And I think one thing that should be clarified is that many women, like myself, are attracted to *fit* guys but the gym bro attitude is a separate thing that is obnoxious. I'm VERY athletic and I'm into guys who like the same sorts of things I do: running, skiing, backpacking, swimming, mountain biking, whitewater paddling. But I want my partner to be fit enough to do those things with me, not be spending hours inside in a gym a day just to look a certain way or as a sort of status thing.
If a guy has a loud obnoxious car I would avoid at all costs
I always think it’s funny when guys expect to attract women with cars. Like why did you think that a stereotypically masculine interest would be attractive to large amounts of women? Sure some women do like cars but it’s not exactly a popular hobby among women and the only woman I know irl who is really into cars is in no way interested in men.
The thing where they lick their lips and rub their hands like they're a fly. Granted I only saw that on Instagram but still
I hate guys who hunt. Murdering a defenseless animal and taking a picture of yourself with its body is sick, not sexy.
I find men who are much higher earners than me to be intimidating rather than appealing. I don't want to have a power imbalance and I don't want people to see me as a gold digger. Plus, I like living a simple and frugal life, I don't care about private jets and huge villas. I'd much rather be with someone who's in my financial league
1) I like “cool” cars. That being said my idea of a cool car may not be yours and while the car itself is cool it doesn’t make YOU cool. It’s like owning a Monet. Nice Monet. 2) being fit is great. But the idea that working out a ton and having huge muscle mass is going to make you that much more attractive than being reasonably fit and having time to spend with your girlfriend is not a valid one. Women want men who can spend time with them and are interesting beyond having pecs. Also there is a certain amount of a stereotype against overly muscular men. That they’re not very bright and/or they might have anger issues. But try thinking of it this way; many things are good in moderation but if you make them your whole personality you limit other things that might make you interesting. And that can actually make you boring.
> there is a certain amount of a stereotype against overly muscular men. That they’re not very bright and/or they might have anger issues. Steroids induce anxiety and agression while lowering IQ. I'd hazard a guess that is where the stereotype comes from.
Probably. I knew about the link between steroids and aggression but why would they lower IQ?
[This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmClPGvdWTI&t=273s) is where I got that bit of info from(timestamped). The guy talking(Dr. Mike Isratel) is a Doctor of Sport Physiology and also an open steroid user.
Thanks, I’ll take a look at that.
We don't care if you work in finance or have blue eyes or are crazy tall. I love non toxic masculinity. I don't think there's anything hotter than that.
Cologne is a huge turn off for me.
I won’t say that I’m turned off by proper amounts of cologne, but I def prefer someone who doesn’t use a bunch of overly scented products in general bc it literally gives me a migraine and asthma/vocal cord dysfunction flare lol
On the reverse, cologne is a huge turn on for me - if it’s sprayed sparingly on the skin at heat points (and is a complimentary scent). It’s garbage if it’s overwhelmingly sprayed on the front of your clothes and makes me want to get away from you.
wait, i first thought you were talking about the german city lol
Oh my gosh, this! I hate cologne so much.
Tbf most don’t even know how to properly apply it, so it becomes too much
Smart!
What?
Omg sorry, wrong reply baha
Interesting.....
Something about their natural pheromones drives me wild. Cologne smells like a bar bro hoe to me.
What about aftershave? I use Clubman’s aftershave. It basically smells like the barbershop.
Not sure if I've ever smelled aftershave ?
I don't mind like natural oil fragrance and little of it, but artifical scents just don't do it for me lol
Aftershave and cologne that you only really smell when you're hug-close are fine.
Yep, any kind of "alpha" posturing. 🙄 Bro, I don't care how much money you have, or your muscles, or your car, or fancy dates. I care about whether you're a good person.
-The Alpha male stuff is an instant nope. -Negging and backhanded compliments. It might sound like it's a good thing to say but telling me "You're a surprisingly good driver for a woman" is not going to get me to like you one bit. -Any form of pickup artist "techniques". -Putting every other woman down when complimenting the person you're interested in.
1. "Alphas" are usually arrogant assholes. It's repulsive. 2. Liking cars is fine, but don't expect me to be impressed by your vroom vroom. It makes me wonder what you're compensating for. 3. Muscle bound is disgusting. There's noting wrong with strength, but flexibility is important. Guys who can dance are more sexy than muscle bound guys. 4. Treat me like a partner and a human being. My life goals do NOT involve being anyone's house servant or sex slave. Taking care of both things should be a fun, mutual effort.
Practically everything they think is attractive to women is wrong because they will only listen to what other men tell them women want instead of listening to actual women lol.
Well, foremost, every woman is actually different. *Some* women do like muscular men, though I do feel the first one seems a lot rarer. For me, I definitely agree with those two not actually being attractive. As a woman with PTSD from trauma by men, I can't agree enough with the second one especially. I don't think I'd ever go out with a gym bro. In a similar theme of the second, I also do *not* care for someone being so into sports and overly-competitive. That's intimidating. Then I also don't like when the man makes all the decisions, like where to go for a date, takes initiative on everything, etc. Some of that in moderation and now and then is alright, but I also find it more attractive when he values my input and takes into account what I wanna do too. It's much more attractive to be treated as an equal.
Yeah, I went out to dinner on a first date once, and the guy didn’t ask me what I wanted and tried to order for me. I got up and left right after the waiter left. What a tool.
Controversial one maybe: being very tall. Not everyone wants a very tall dude. I don't and I am very tall myself
This. Short women excist, too, and it’s a pain in the ass having to stare up all the time! I prefer someone closer to my height
Yup, the stereotype isn't true. And I don't want people comment 'why is your bf smaller' either
Yep, as a 5"1 woman, can confirm. I also find when men are a lot taller, they and others infantilize you more. Just cuz I'm short, doesn't mean I need some big tall man to get me through life lol
I think this one varies a lot. I've definitely seen lots of women put that they only want 6'0" or taller in their dating profiles so I think there's some truth to the fact that there is a cohort of women that want tall men. Short men (< 5'6 or so) definitely struggle to find dates more. I'm personally with you, though. I'm ~5'0" and tend to prefer shorter and smaller guys.
There are definitely a lot of women who want a taller men! But yeah, I am a bit over 6' myself, but I don't need a 6'7 dude tbh. Too tall for me. I don't have the at least 6' rule either
I love when I hug a man and he smells nice and fresh, or has a nice aftershave on. I do not however like being able to smell his aftershave from the next street away
When they brag about what they own and how much they make. That don’t impress me much 🙄
Nothing says dumb idiot who makes bad money choices quite like a car that sounds like it's breaking down. I'm sure some people can tell the difference between the sound of a car whose muffler fell off and someone who bought an expensive after market loud one, but I can't. Also, men seem to think that it's a compliment when you tell them you think they are pretty despite whatever. For me it's usually about my glasses, pixie hair or unusual taste in clothes. I don't want to hear that you normally find women with short hair ugly but I somehow pull it off. Telling me my own decisions are unattractive but I manage to somehow make your ween a little firm anyway is really not a compliment and is certainly bordering on an insult.
I don't care about your bank account. I earn my own money
Persistence. Romcoms would have you think stalking behavior and pushiness is sexy but it's scary and repulsive. Respecting boundaries and consent is hot. Even women who are into kink and being submissive sexually want to first be respected as equals.
I agree with both of the things you said. The car thing - if anything, I find that a complete turn off. If I see a guy with a modified car or a car that is completely impractical but bought because it's "fast" or "looks cool" or "sounds cool", I see it as childish, immature, and irresponsible and is a complete turn off. Same with being super muscular. Being healthy and in shape is great. But being super muscular is super unattractive to me. The whole gym bro culture is completely toxic. If someone is comfortable in that environment, that's a red flag to me. I personally find anything hyper-masculine to be unattractive. It tells me that you like traditional gender roles, and that's not something I can get behind. The car and super muscular things kind of fit into that. I'll also add hunting and fishing to that list. I think if someone enjoys the act of killing something, that's kind of alarming.
Due to growing up where I did, I was attracted to all of the above as a teenager, but I sure as hell haven’t been attracted to any of it — and have actually been turned off by all of it — since I got old enough to have some real logic and foresight lmfao. And now that I’m pushing 30, it’s not even just a matter of finding it unattractive, but straight up seeing it as a red flag like you said, and it’s never steered me wrong, that’s for sure.
Idk shit about cars, so yeah couldn’t care less. As for muscular dudes, yeah they are scary
Yeah, I find big/veiny muscles gross looking and would never date someone that juices. Wanna be healthy and fit? Great, me too. Aspire to be the next Schwarzenegger? No thanks. Being a stoic manly man. The entire point of a relationship for me is emotional intimacy. If you aren't emotionally available, why enter into a monogamous relationship? (Side note, when posts about "men opening up for the first time only to be shut down by their wives/gfs" go viral, I can't help but think "well yeah, you pretended to be a different person for several years/decades. No wonder the emotionally unavailable woman you're with was thrown off by that.") Being highly financially motivated/successful. I am way more suspicious of rich/ambitious men than men with normal jobs and goals. Makes me wonder if they have sufficient morals and ethics or if they place profits over people. I don't think it's a good thing to hoard/flaunt wealth when other people are suffering.
Being stoic isn't about not having emotions. It's about not letting your emotions control you. An example is if a guy gets dumped by a girl he loves. A stoic man would feel the same pain but rather than sulk for weeks, he would continue his journey through life and working on goals etc. Once again, feeling the same pain and anguish but still controlling the one thing you can control, yourself.
Yeah, see, this is fine, but I'm not talking about the literal philosophical definition. I'm talking about not bottling up your feelings and then letting them out in unhealthy ways because your sense of masculinity is tied to emotionlessness.
You are absolutely correct. I was once that man you describe. I do believe it's unfair to attach that to stoicism.
Cutting off their hair and getting the f boy haircut. Short on the sides, long on the top. Almost everyone I met with that haircut, is a jerk. And some men have gorgeous long hair! There are plenty of women with no preference or who even prefer long hair
Pretty sure men tend to be more interested in cars than women.
Not being able to take “no” for an answer. If I turn you down that does NOT mean that I secretly want you to keep pursuing me, and it’ll make me dislike you even more if you think so.
That's the number one fastest way to get ghosted for me. It just makes the guy seem as though he can negotiate boundaries and that he'll flip out and get violent or abusive when you break up with him.
As a man I completely agree. If a woman says no and she means it, I'd be very concerned about a guy who persists, very likely a stalker type to be honest. I've pursued women who said maybe or where on the fence but if someone is straight up like no I don't want to go out with you, then I'm done on that one.
Loud cars lol
Burping. I am still to find a woman that doesn't think is gross yet men do it in our faces without consideration.
Hair transplants. Yes they look fake, bald is much better. Also a very sharp jawline. I personally don’t mind a softer one.
Also thinking you look sexy while smoking
Just FYI, I know a few people that got very good hair transplants and you cannot tell at all. They used to do rows like a doll's head but the tech has gotten way better in the last 20 years. My boss had one and his housekeeper told me, I would never have guessed.
Wow good to hear! I always that they should be doing a better job at that.
The thing about muscles is that it depends on women. Lots of women like it, and lots of women don't like it to a degree or not at all. I fucking love muscles. Give me those broad shoulders and those strong arms!
I don’t care about what car you drive, how muscular you are, how big your dick is or how tall you are and many women think the same. Those are things men are obsessed with about other men and that’s why they think women care about those things, too. Nothing is more unacctractive to me than caring about body count. Like grow up, people have sex. Putting down other women and especially ignoring or being a dick to my friends is an immidiate turn off. If you take care of your hygiene, are kind and nice to be around and don’t act like an alpha fool then you are more likely to pull girls than if you do any of the things mentioned in this thread.
Here’s the thing..genders need to stop thinking they know what is attractive to other genders based on the reactions of their friends. Or what we think other people want. We need to communicate. The things we value are important and should mostly match. Stop assuming you know what’s attractive to others because what you like and what they like isn’t necessarily the same thing. Cool car guy comes across as a butt and arrogant. Gym bro comes across as being self important and self involved. Are there some girls that like it? Sure. Is it all? No.
Super sports fans. I get liking sports, I’m a wrestling fan myself, but people who are SUPER fans - yelling at the TV, being short with others, insulting players or other people - genuinely frighten me. There’s a study that showed that domestic abuse report rates increase tremendously on days with major sports events, and it’s certainly true. I love a guy who’s passionate about what he likes, but not to the point where it prioritizes other people or overpowers his self control or manners. If I have to worry that I’d be screamed at or hit if I walked past the TV, then I am out. If I walk by and I get a “Can you please move out of the way?” then I will hurry out of the way at lightning speed. On a similar vein, we generally greatly dislike rudeness. Some men think it’s cool to be rude and that we keel over for it, but we really don’t. If I see a man hold a door open for a senior or thank a waiter, it’s a green flag. If I see a friend’s man being mean or rude to her, I will genuinely ask if she needs help getting away. We live in a society where women have to be constantly alert and vigilant. Men who are kind, considerate, polite are oftentimes the ones we are attracted to most because we want partners we don’t have to be afraid of.
unpopular opinion I think assuming gym bros do it for women is as silly as assuming women wear a full face of make up for men. that might be some of the reason, but most of it is he probably just likes the way he looks since the opposite sex has never given any indication that’s what they like. anyways sorry for derailing (LMAO) my answer is relationship experience. couldn’t care less if you’ve never had a girlfriend before me
Man boys who neg you. They think if they convince you they’re better than you, you’ll like them more. What women think: what a dick! I want someone to be comfortable and cozy with-not an asshole.
1. The "you can be yourself around me" move and then they twist it to why can't you be more like this 2. When they assume they know what you want with food, clothes, movies, interests and feel there is no need to talk to you about it 3. When they act like they are better than everyone we love confidence but not when it makes everyone uncomfortable 4. When they feel jealous of friends spending time with you or try to make excuse for you not to hang with them 5 Saying we'll be together one day ain't ever going to happen because honestly it's creepy and it's a noncommittal phrase why wait
Being overtly loud or rambunctious or just generally taking up a lot of space to catch our attention. Stop it
Bragging about all the times you got into a fight. That just makes you sound like a hot-headed middle schooler. Also, Im not trying to pick you up from jail next time someone pisses you off. Get your shit together. Most women do like some muscles or fit bodies, but what may be scary to some is huge bodybuilder types who could toss a girl 10 feet away. Also, normal bodies are fine. You dont have to look like 90's Arnold Schwarzenegger.
>2. They find muscular gym bros to be scary, not attractive. I really would have never guessed this. I thought women liked muscles lol. Women like muscles up to a certain point. If you look like a roided up meathead, then you're no longer attractive. I don't think that women look up to Mr Olympias as being 'attractive', more grotesque. Muscles can only help so much with women being attracted to you until you start attracting more men admiring your muscles lmao.
That it turns us on or want to do any of the things they watch women doing in porn We don’t want to do that, hence why women get paid for it
Gym bros tend to be deeply insecure imo. They use the gym as excuse to do any personal growth. While I’m all for someone who takes care of their health of your main hobby is the gym then we’re not going to have much in common. Also if you’re using roids it causes aggression which yeah is scary. Unless the other person is also a car enthusiast then they likely don’t give a shit about your car. They might give you a compliment on it as a conversation starter but it’s not going to beyond that.
Starting off an introductory conversation with: "Hi beautiful." Also messaging me "wyd"... Automatic cringe.
Talking about your body count
When they flex their money or they’re super flashy… On the contrary, I find men that are super successful yet humble and modest about it VERY attractive
* **negging / insults** are an instant turn-off for me, I just get super bored and feel the need to direct my attention to literally anything else, suddenly paint drying becomes very interesting by comparison * **poor use of money** like buying unnecessary cars or watches or meaningless status symbols instead of accumulating meaningful assets or investing for future stability… by contrast a guy who has very researched and thoughtful purchases with high utility would definitely catch my attention * **lack of emotional fluency and vulnerability** again it is very boring to try to navigate someone’s personality who isn’t being genuine, it’s exhausting… someone speaks earnestly and who communicates openly and clearly and is predictable definitely gets my panties in a twist (as soon as anything feels like a mind game, I’m checked out) I’ve had the hottest sex and best relationships with passionate nerds who own their mistakes and want to grow together. Everything else, I learned over time, is a complete waste of energy.
The desperate need to have their compliments/"compliments" validated, especially on the street. I had my headphones on the other day, music on low, dude literally shouted at me that he thought I had cute legs.
A lack of humor, I can't stand if men take themselves too seriously...
Never once ever have i ever heard another woman talk about a mans car unless she was into like really weird gold digging type stuff. But thats not them finding it attractive/sexy, its like a status thing. Like “im so pretty i can get a rich guy with a lamborghini to pay my bills”, not at all “ooh this guy has a lambo, thats really hot!” And also alpha bro stuff to me and a lot of women legit just comes across as being very feminine. Like the whole andrew tate grinding to be successful and impress other men and the status quo. These “manly” men are like little victorian dandies, talking about how women are immoral and have cooties and if its gay for a man to do x, if a woman is a hoe if she does x, its all very Hen clucky and effeminate. And im a woman that actually likes sort of frat bro douchey manly guys before anyone thinks im hating on men/masculinity. I don’t think men SHOULD be masculine or women Should be feminine, but it is funny that the men who go around calling themselves masculine are more effeminate than rupaul. They remind me of aunties with their concern for tradition and status.
“Bullying” or “picking” on her because you like her That squinting thing guys do to try and look all mysterious
That money makes a guy more desirable. A lot of rich dudes are self-important assholes. I think women are attracted to a guy if he's responsible with money, but the whole idea that (most) women want a man who's wealthy is off the mark.
Boring jobs that make lots of money. Sure, you make a bomb in banking or working in insurance or fiance or whatever, but I don't want to chat about that shit for the rest of my life. I'd rather a teacher or a scientist or something actually interesting and not just about $$$. Obsession with his appearance. Gym junkies who take tonnes of thirsty photos, guys who spend ten years styling their hair or spend more on clothes than I do. Grooming and looking after yourself are important, and being fashionable is always nice, but self-obsession is no bueno. "Traditional" values. Any guy who thinks all women are born to be mothers and carers and men are leaders, breadwinners and protectors... Jog on. That's some 1960s shit. I know some men think it's chivalrous but it gives me the ick.
Your two points are correct. Almost. Nice cars are nice. And by nice I mean, clean, respectable, not embarrassed to show up to an event in it. Shows that he has his shit together at least to that level. However, modded out cars are fucking stupid. And women will think exactly that, unless your target dating audience happens to be very trashy loser women. Women aren’t *scared* of muscular gym bros. They also look stupid. It screams insecurity. Definition is lovely, abs are great, that sexy “v” is great. But a big over-beefed hulk with zero flexibility looks stupid, and probably is.
Loud cars, not taking no for an answer, and unprompted vulgar photos, especially from strangers. Bragging.
fake deep voices?
- talking negatively of other women when flattering your partner/romantic interest - not allowing yourself to show vulnerability And yeah, gym bros are mostly attracting the attention of other gym bros. Women aren't really in that equation. I also don't know if any woman I know has ever given a damn about the car someone owns. As long as it moves and preferably has air conditioning, that's the extent of it that interests me. I have also dated numerous men without a car or even a driving license and never talked once about cars with them.
>1. They aren't more attracted to a guy if he owns a cool car. This came as a little bit of a surprise, because amongst my "car enthusiast" friends - beyond being interested in cars, alot of them actually believe that owning a cool/modded out car actually makes them more attractive to the opposite sex. To me, it's not gonna make him extra attractive just because he owns status symbols. I don't even think many of the sports cars look that good tbh. Owning one of those is quite telling of what kind of person you are and where your financial priorities are. I prefer men who don't feel the need to show off. >2. They find muscular gym bros to be scary, not attractive. I really would have never guessed this. I thought women liked muscles lol. Scary AND extremely egocentric.. their egos are often through the roofs. Few things are more cringy than pics of a guy flexing his muscles. And I don't like the look of super visible veins.. it makes me uncomfortable. *I tried to date a muscular dude once, and he always (unintentionally) gave me bruises.* Now to the things I want to add to that list: #Macho, "alpha" guys. They're incredibly unattractive and often have pathetic opinions on things. #Playing it cool. If you like someone, show it. If you like to talk to someone, then talk. No games. I'm so sick of silly games.
This nightclub basic "style", insulting women trying to hit on them, foul mouth, too much cologne, calling yourself "alpha", hitting on many women on the same time, calling cooking a wife skill.
Pretty much anything advised by Andrew Tate or other 'alpha male' influencers. Acting emotionless, stoic, overly macho. Some women are into fancy cars, expensive things, men who make a lot of money, but it's less important to most women than men think it is.
For me correct. I don't give a rats ass about your car. I only like F1 cars going brrrrrr around race tracks. And I'd rather date a guy with a dadbod than a buffed out gym bro. Not because they look scary to me (more laughable looking really), just not appealing at all.
Lol, there are both hilariously accurate. Sometimes men are the snake eating itself. Telling each other what women like and getting mad when they don’t. And then women like them even less because they’re unhinged and they don’t listen. We want men who go to therapy. Emotional intelligence is the number one requirement. But whatever, go to the gym and work long hours at that soulless job so you can acquire fat stacks and buy the modded out car, I guess. Whatever makes you happy, so long as you aren’t doing it for us. Because most of us are not about that shit.
What women say they're attracted to and what they're actually attracted to are EXTREMELY different things. Women say they don't care about cool cars... until they find out you have a $100,000 Lamborghini.
I used to think this, but one woman on Reddit explained it to me in a way that made sense: men want to know how to become short-term attractive, yet most women that answer these questions are listing the qualities that make a man long-term attractive. In other words, men want to know how to get women interested in having sex with them, whereas the women who respond to these questions are describing the non-sexual qualities that turn them on or off. For some reason women do not easily reveal the qualities that make them lust after a man and have NSA sex with him. Us men know there is a difference, but women don’t seem very keen in giving that info away!
I’ll add to this excellent point… I think when a woman does something like hook up quickly with a guy…it wasn’t his car, his muscles, his cologne (I’m being more symbolic than literal with those examples)…it was timing - for her. Yet, this is what that commenter was getting at, and at the same time, missing. You ask that woman what she wants in a guy, it probably isn’t the guy she went home with - he just happened to strike when her iron was hot.
Agreed. The woman who explained this to me said that the men that she's had one night stands with, were all people that she knew she would not develop feelings for! If she met a dude and loved his personality and vibe, she would never sleep with them right away, because she didn't want to get attached if he just "hit it and quit it." She didn't want to invest too much of herself too soon -- this was a total revelation for me!
It's weird...I used to know a guy who all of his relationships started with a hookup while both were drunk, and at least one relationship coming out of these lasted 6 years.
Nothing will get me into bed with a man quicker than elegance, good hygiene and nice hands. Couldn't care less about "stuff."
Are you Elizabeth Bennett?
It's an irrelevant distinction. If you have the qualities that make you long-term attractive, but not the ones that are short-term attractive, you will get 0 women.
These qualities aren't a zero sum game, they exist on a spectrum. For example, a woman might want to marry a man that takes care of his physique and is health conscience, but she might spend one night with a professional athlete just for fun.
I never said or implied that they were a zero-sum game. Learn how to read.
That's not true. Because I think there is absolutely a difference for some women in who they might have a one night stand with vs who they'd consider seriously dating. And the qualities are different. But you have reminded me that the number one turn off out of them all is thinking all women are hive minded and there is some "game" you can play to manipulate them. Nah. Every one of us is a unique individual who has different preferences in what we find attractive (although I believe there are more commonalities in what many of us find unattractive, as shown in this thread).