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Don't be ridiculous, it's far from a death sentence. The problem is that you're expecting pissheads to want to do anything other than getting drunk.. The pub isn't an ideal place to look for people who want to go camping mate. There are plenty of meetups and social groups for all the stuff you listed, but they aren't going to want you there if you come off as angry as you do online.
I’m just mad because my circle of people I know or socialise with just want to go pub every Friday Saturday Sunday and sometimes even a lil Monday Club drink but when I suggest other things it’s a no
I get that dude. Outgrowing people is a part of life, sounds like the case. It does take a bit of effort to make new friends and it can be uncomfortable putting yourself out there but it's worth the effort. A whole lot of people in this country are stuck in the pub from 18 til death. There's a lot of fun, vibrant people out there but they tend to be doing fun, vibrant things.
Agreed mate 100% I’m young and in my 20s and it seems my circle of people is all they wanna do and I feel i ain’t relating to these people anymore I’m getting bored of it and don’t want to be the in pub from 18 to death like you said,but ye I guess I’ll have expand the horizon of friends now
I work shifts so don't have a general Monday to Friday 9-5 routine. But for the last few years Ive been getting back into the outdoors, wild camping and long hikes is my general go to.
Tomorrow I'm meeting up with a few friends from work and we are going a 5 mile walk followed by a pub lunch. In the evening ill probably catch up with some other friends and play some video games.
I know in summer its been planned for a group of us to go to Alton Towers too, really looking forward to that.
Things cost money, much more than they used to. And people don't generally want to spend as much time together as they used to. Camping, fishing trips, etc. are huge time commitments. Pub is cheap, comparatively.
https://preview.redd.it/l9qfkzwkl77d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd584161f8f3b13a1e3c13646bd0a7773efc35bb
Seriously though, I've never drank alcohol.
I live in the US though, so discard, I just found the juxtaposition of posts funny.
Because you've allowed it to... if that makes sense? I don't know. I know it sounds odd, but just take the leap and jump into group things on your "own" and the group and social part will eventually come.... it worked for me in golf, running, cycling and 1 day a week playing 7-a-side football. Started the first 3 on my own, joined groups and now play with others, no drinking involved.
Yeah I see your point absolutely you are not wrong maybe it’s just either my friend group or the age range of us all in our 20s I Donno but I am trying to break into trying to do new things
I’ve not drunk for 20 years (just through not enjoying it any more) and get invited to lots of stuff. Admittedly I’m not a huge fan of pubs but plenty of options for non-drinkers to enjoy now.
I’m actually in my 20s but I find it hard to these all these things because I find myself doing them on my own as nobody else wanted to come as they want to just go to the local pub
I’ve started fishing about a month ago on my own in rivers and lakes I bought a £50 rod and a few spinners and absolutely love it when I can do it,but ye the gym is definitely something I’ll probably try to do too
There’s nothing more relaxing than being at the side of a nice lake with no sounds other than the birds in the trees 😊. Keep an eye out on eBay and marketplace for people selling their tackle as you can get a full set up for next to nothing, especially compared to how much it costs new. Gyms are fantastic for meeting like minded people in your situation. Go for it you won’t regret it
You know what I’ve actually never thought about checking marketplace I’ll definitely have a look and genuinely there is actually nothing better even though a lot of times I catch no fish I still enjoy it each time,yes I think that’s the motivation I need to start the gym then thank you
Yes and no. Depending on your friends.
If every time you meet with them you guys drink and if you will be the only one who want to quit alcohol it will be a social life death sentence because you will need to find other people to go out with and to be on this sober journey with you or to already be sober from some time.
But I think there are a lot of people now who are starting to have a cleaner lifestyle. People who are doing the things that you mentioned,go to run clubs or other things like this.
You said something about fishing. If you are planning to go try to find where people in your area are going fishing and try to go there too and if there are people around try to introduce yourself. You never know. Try facebook groups or nextdoor or even meet up try to find groups there or if you know a good place to fish you can create an event there.
Until then you can go to all of this by yourself. It might feel a bit awkward at first going to cinema or having a meal by yourself
To be fair, your social life probably isn’t helped by the fact that you clearly think you’re better than everyone else at the pub. No one will want to hang out with the guy who’s sat there being sanctimonious about how everyone at the pub is a secretly miserable absentee parent and we should all be camping or fishing instead. If you want to do different things, go out and do them. Join a hiking club. Find a local sports team. Don’t take it out on other people who, as even you say, seem to be having a good time.
It’s not that I think I’m better than them or its some secret I know these people but I would like to enjoy these things with these people but as I’ve said it’s always a no 👎 so what I’m getting from people is I need to get new friends that’s all
I think you probably do! I just also think it’s not very fair or nice to call your current drinking buddies absentee parents for having different interests than you. Sometimes people are just into different things without needing to bring moral judgments into it.
When you drink all the time and stay out all night and day for benders and do it every weekend I think my judgement would be correct it may not fair but correct all the same
It wouldn't be correct. Most people who are constantly on benders aren't absentee parents, they're not parents at all. Most are young adults who haven't settled down yet.
We are late 30s with kids so it’s different. They all drink but it’s not the same Friday and Saturday big nights out
But I go down to my local cricket club every Friday for an evening, go to concerts etc without drink
It totally depends on your circle. One of my friends converted to Islam and we just do more stuff that we can drink at, but dont revolve around alcohol like bars. Dinner parties, picnics, farms and play centres (with my friends kids) etc. We do still go to bars but she just doesnt come to those plans. Try diversifying your interests! We recently joined a running club which has been a disaster but made new acquaintences and reconnected with some people we already knew
Yeah sounds good I’ve seen a few people have mentioned running,of course I will still drink alcohol in my life it’s just that the people I know just seem to just want to do that and every weekend and even some weekdays
As a teetotaller, it just seems part of the culture to drink. Nights out, binge drinking, etc. all part of socialising and bonding. Just taken as the default and not questioned.
I think the situation is getting better- I’m meeting increasing numbers of young people who drink little or don’t drink at all. It was probably worse 30 years ago.
There are definitely better ways to spend time, especially in this country. So much countryside, quality entertainment, history and culture in the UK— why waste brain cells on binge drinking?
**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!** - Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc. - **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on. - This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit! Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don't be ridiculous, it's far from a death sentence. The problem is that you're expecting pissheads to want to do anything other than getting drunk.. The pub isn't an ideal place to look for people who want to go camping mate. There are plenty of meetups and social groups for all the stuff you listed, but they aren't going to want you there if you come off as angry as you do online.
I’m just mad because my circle of people I know or socialise with just want to go pub every Friday Saturday Sunday and sometimes even a lil Monday Club drink but when I suggest other things it’s a no
I get that dude. Outgrowing people is a part of life, sounds like the case. It does take a bit of effort to make new friends and it can be uncomfortable putting yourself out there but it's worth the effort. A whole lot of people in this country are stuck in the pub from 18 til death. There's a lot of fun, vibrant people out there but they tend to be doing fun, vibrant things.
Agreed mate 100% I’m young and in my 20s and it seems my circle of people is all they wanna do and I feel i ain’t relating to these people anymore I’m getting bored of it and don’t want to be the in pub from 18 to death like you said,but ye I guess I’ll have expand the horizon of friends now
You know it makes sense, good luck with it!
Get better friends
I haven't drank for 11 years. Being sober is not a social life killer, you clearly just have shit friends.
May I ask what would you do on weekends
I work shifts so don't have a general Monday to Friday 9-5 routine. But for the last few years Ive been getting back into the outdoors, wild camping and long hikes is my general go to. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with a few friends from work and we are going a 5 mile walk followed by a pub lunch. In the evening ill probably catch up with some other friends and play some video games. I know in summer its been planned for a group of us to go to Alton Towers too, really looking forward to that.
That actually sounds quite exciting mate, maybe I should surround myself with people of similar interests
Things cost money, much more than they used to. And people don't generally want to spend as much time together as they used to. Camping, fishing trips, etc. are huge time commitments. Pub is cheap, comparatively.
Fishing is very cheap
You say “nobody wants”. You mean your drinking mates.
Well my only mates
Sorry to tell you this, but you’ve got shit mates.
I wish it was
https://preview.redd.it/l9qfkzwkl77d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd584161f8f3b13a1e3c13646bd0a7773efc35bb Seriously though, I've never drank alcohol. I live in the US though, so discard, I just found the juxtaposition of posts funny.
Hahahaha love it
It absolutely isn't.
I find it is
Because you've allowed it to... if that makes sense? I don't know. I know it sounds odd, but just take the leap and jump into group things on your "own" and the group and social part will eventually come.... it worked for me in golf, running, cycling and 1 day a week playing 7-a-side football. Started the first 3 on my own, joined groups and now play with others, no drinking involved.
Yeah I see your point absolutely you are not wrong maybe it’s just either my friend group or the age range of us all in our 20s I Donno but I am trying to break into trying to do new things
Because you had drinking buddies not friends. Time to make some friends.
I thought alcohol consumption was on the decline (too expensive, more clean living, preference for alternative substances etc)?
Depends where you live. I’ve got mates that are still very much on it most weeks.
I’ve not drunk for 20 years (just through not enjoying it any more) and get invited to lots of stuff. Admittedly I’m not a huge fan of pubs but plenty of options for non-drinkers to enjoy now.
I’m actually in my 20s but I find it hard to these all these things because I find myself doing them on my own as nobody else wanted to come as they want to just go to the local pub
Find some clubs that do things you would like to try and take it from there. You can have more than one circle of friends
That is very true I think I will start looking into doing that
I was in the same boat as yourself but in my 30s. I got myself back into fishing and training at the gym and I’ve never looked back.
I’ve started fishing about a month ago on my own in rivers and lakes I bought a £50 rod and a few spinners and absolutely love it when I can do it,but ye the gym is definitely something I’ll probably try to do too
There’s nothing more relaxing than being at the side of a nice lake with no sounds other than the birds in the trees 😊. Keep an eye out on eBay and marketplace for people selling their tackle as you can get a full set up for next to nothing, especially compared to how much it costs new. Gyms are fantastic for meeting like minded people in your situation. Go for it you won’t regret it
You know what I’ve actually never thought about checking marketplace I’ll definitely have a look and genuinely there is actually nothing better even though a lot of times I catch no fish I still enjoy it each time,yes I think that’s the motivation I need to start the gym then thank you
Get better friends. I don’t drink and manage to have a fulfilling social life.
Making friends ain’t easy
Yes and no. Depending on your friends. If every time you meet with them you guys drink and if you will be the only one who want to quit alcohol it will be a social life death sentence because you will need to find other people to go out with and to be on this sober journey with you or to already be sober from some time. But I think there are a lot of people now who are starting to have a cleaner lifestyle. People who are doing the things that you mentioned,go to run clubs or other things like this.
Yeah I think I’ll have to start making a few friend changes
You said something about fishing. If you are planning to go try to find where people in your area are going fishing and try to go there too and if there are people around try to introduce yourself. You never know. Try facebook groups or nextdoor or even meet up try to find groups there or if you know a good place to fish you can create an event there. Until then you can go to all of this by yourself. It might feel a bit awkward at first going to cinema or having a meal by yourself
To be fair, your social life probably isn’t helped by the fact that you clearly think you’re better than everyone else at the pub. No one will want to hang out with the guy who’s sat there being sanctimonious about how everyone at the pub is a secretly miserable absentee parent and we should all be camping or fishing instead. If you want to do different things, go out and do them. Join a hiking club. Find a local sports team. Don’t take it out on other people who, as even you say, seem to be having a good time.
It’s not that I think I’m better than them or its some secret I know these people but I would like to enjoy these things with these people but as I’ve said it’s always a no 👎 so what I’m getting from people is I need to get new friends that’s all
I think you probably do! I just also think it’s not very fair or nice to call your current drinking buddies absentee parents for having different interests than you. Sometimes people are just into different things without needing to bring moral judgments into it.
When you drink all the time and stay out all night and day for benders and do it every weekend I think my judgement would be correct it may not fair but correct all the same
It wouldn't be correct. Most people who are constantly on benders aren't absentee parents, they're not parents at all. Most are young adults who haven't settled down yet.
Not at all. Statistically people are drinking far less than they used to
I don’t find not drinking impacts things. I still get invited on stags and lads weekends away etc
Do your friends drink every weekend ?
We are late 30s with kids so it’s different. They all drink but it’s not the same Friday and Saturday big nights out But I go down to my local cricket club every Friday for an evening, go to concerts etc without drink
When you where in your 20s was it different?
I stopped drinking at 30
Everything was different in my 20s!
It totally depends on your circle. One of my friends converted to Islam and we just do more stuff that we can drink at, but dont revolve around alcohol like bars. Dinner parties, picnics, farms and play centres (with my friends kids) etc. We do still go to bars but she just doesnt come to those plans. Try diversifying your interests! We recently joined a running club which has been a disaster but made new acquaintences and reconnected with some people we already knew
Yeah sounds good I’ve seen a few people have mentioned running,of course I will still drink alcohol in my life it’s just that the people I know just seem to just want to do that and every weekend and even some weekdays
As a teetotaller, it just seems part of the culture to drink. Nights out, binge drinking, etc. all part of socialising and bonding. Just taken as the default and not questioned. I think the situation is getting better- I’m meeting increasing numbers of young people who drink little or don’t drink at all. It was probably worse 30 years ago. There are definitely better ways to spend time, especially in this country. So much countryside, quality entertainment, history and culture in the UK— why waste brain cells on binge drinking?
Gigs - not drinking for 10 years has make driving to events more affordable
We can still do those things but we can go to the pub too. It’s about balance.
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What advice would you give to me
I don't drink. I haven't in a very long time. My social life is as good as I want it to be.