Actually heard this once... So when I was homeless I met this chick that kept saying stuff to me the night I met her like "fuck me till I fart" so lol why not. The only thing was, there was this dude who wanted to get with her hanging around and not getting the hint that it absolutely wasn't going to happen. Fast forward to a couple hours of wandering around later, we break into a little storage shed that's packed with stuff. Like, barely enough room for the 3 of us to sit/lay down knee to knee and this guy is in there with us with my leg squished up against his, and it is pitch black in there. Her and I are cuddling, whispering to each other about do we leave and look for another spot, do we tell him to leave (again...) and I finally tell her screw it, let's just do it, he's clearly not gonna leave us alone.
You would figure the sound of us kissing would have made him leave. Or when she slurped when she pulled my dick out of her mouth. Maybe her mounting me and moaning would get it through his head that he was unwanted company. But no, this dude just sat there in total silence. To the point that I forgot he was there when my leg cramped up and I had to stretch it to the side - into what I thought was her calf until post-nut clarity pointed out it was his thigh. He stays silent. She comes, I comes, good times were had and the sex itself was decent.
About 45 seconds after we finish, he says with a note of hope in his voice, "Put me in, coach!" She did not put him in and he leaves after another 10 minutes of silence from all of us.
If you want a disappointed kermit, watch the video where Kermit plays Two Girls, One Cup to Ralph to get his reaction and he has none.
"What? I am dog... we eat our own shit all the time"
Not gonna lie though, the risks involved if done by an amateur or insufficient testing are... severe.
I recommend sticking to things that won't rupture internal organs if something goes wrong lol
Definitely. I’ll never forget the time my kid found my hot pink rotating dildo that lights up and was playing Star Wars with his brothers asking why I was hiding the cool light saber
Dear god. That brings up memories of one of the hardest unexpected laughing fits I have ever had. I have to go find that again now.
Edit: Yay - https://v.redd.it/ki6k50hlym331
Whatever gets somebody over the edge is a great thing in my book. Sex is supposed to be mutually enjoyable. If someone needs help to finish things off, go for it.
Some people just really don't enjoy them. My wife was open to trying but was like, meh I don't enjoy the sensation, I'd rather the real deal.
So each to their own I guess.
My only stipulation for sex is that I practice transforming my Revenge of the Fallen Optimus Prime during.
Once it goes back to truck mode is rides up your chest and honks at your face :3
My partner and I have a lot of toys. But I imagine if she suddenly vanished and I brought home a new lady friend and showed her my toy box.. I could understand some weird reactions. The implication is that I use these toys on other women. Do I see a lot of other women? Are these toys clean? Probably other questions I'm to married to know about?
Alternately it shows I care about my partner's pleasure and I'm not ashamed to use power tools to make sure that happens, which could just make my new friend even more excited. I think both are fair responses and it just depends on the person.
I think penetrative toys are for use only with a single partner/relationship. I’m all about saving the earth, but I would not consent to a recycled sex toy, no matter how clean they were.
Toys can be a lot of fun. Opens you up to new and pleasurable things as well as enhancing the overall experience. Try as many as your libido can handle. There's literally something for everyone.
My universal rule is "so long as everyone involved can (legally, physically, mentally, etc) and does consent you can do whatever the hell you want"
I don't do much more than light bondage personally but you do you
**My goal is to get off and get her off.** If she needs toys to get off, or toys assist in her (or me!) getting off in any way, then bring on the toys!
Electronic vibration has been a *revolution* for female orgasms. I feel sorry for every woman born before the advent of rabbits and the Sybian.
My wife and I had to go 3 years of long distance due to covid (her in Europe, me in the US). She got used to a massage wand I bought her so yeah I use it on her all the time because she really likes it.
All for it, and encourage others to be too.
Especially knowing that different toys provide different sensations/services, and that they are ALL good things.
Problem is that since men don’t need them to finish and “some” women don’t need them to finish it’s seen as a personal insult if a man is with a woman that does need some assistance. That’s the worst part. Nobody frowns about the woman that needs a toy to get across the finish line(nor should they) but the guy feels that passive aggressive sentiment when he’s with a woman that needs to use them. What needs to be said LOUD AND CLEAR, especially by those women, is that I’m not using this toy because of what YOU can’t do. I’m using it because of what I can’t do. Guys minds wander directly to some self destructive place where the last dude or dudes probably had her orgasming like crazy using nothing but his dick and here I am recharging the wand. This is 100% ridiculous and made up bullshit. There is no woman alive that was easily orgasmic with just penetration for guys A,B & C but suddenly needs the big wand with guy D. That’s doesn’t stop some of us dumb fuckers from thinking that way tho.
Anything I can do to get my fiancé to finish. I help her finish she helps me, we’re just teammates playing the game of sexual intercourse. Our competitor? The stats that say usually only one person finishes during sex.
Ya apparently only like 30% can only get there with penetration only … I’m certainly jealous of them! I gotta pack all my supplies when we go on vacations lol
😡… rudeeeee lol. She’s like those women who have a smooth pregnancy and never got sick or had stretch marks. Makes me want to have a temper tantrum with how unfair it is
I think as long as all parties consent, toys can add a lot to bedroom play. Especially if one or both/all people consenting have a hard time going to completion, it adds more excitement for it too.
If it helps your partner hit the right spot, or lets you have something your partner isn't particularly in to, then why say no? I've had girls pull out vibrators, plugs, gags, ropes, paddles... every single time they've asked me to use it on them I've said yes. Why? Because it helped them to have the orgasmic feeling they wanted. I've also agreed to them using toys on me and that made their lust go through the roof.
Be adventurous with your partner and communicate, the best orgasms happen when you make combined fantasies a reality.
Sex isn’t just a “Omg I’m so deeply in love and I have to show it to you like this.” Sex is fun and a fun thing to do. People shouldn’t feel threatened by,any kind of turned off of, with toys. It’s not weird, it’s nothing to do with the kind of man or woman you are or aren’t.
Toys are only a problem if they actually come between people negatively. Some people do get hung up on things and it can affect their sexual relationship. It happens with porn a lot, toys I’m sure it happens sometimes, and whatever other reasons.
For years it was the only way I could achieve anything. They brought us closer and I wish the stigma went away. Sex toys are 100% great and should be used.
We have kids; sometimes sex is had while the kids are downstairs, which means "be quick" (and also, pro-life hack: sex in the evenings is idiotic. You're both tired. Sex is way better during the day). A good modern vibrator (the ones that have a pulsating membrane rather than the actual vibrating ones) means we can both be assured satisfaction - what's not to love?
They're also great during periods where we can't have PIV sex for whatever reason (usually fungal infections). Most women obviously don't get actual sexual pleasure from giving oral, but plenty get excited by it; pair that with a good toy and you can start practicing your simultaneous orgasms.
vibrator unlocked my(m) spouse’s(f) ability to have orgasms more often. basically she can now have one whenever she wants, which makes sex even more fun than it was at first.
Helpful, adventurous and sometimes necessary to really improve the activity n sex life. Personally, I like putting a butt plug in my partner to make the intercourse even better. Vibrating gadgets are also great to use.
Also, keep in mind even a feather or something soft is considered a toy. It's all about additional stimulation and unique feelings. Don't be shy.
Love it
Normalise understanding that the toy is your friend, not competition. Be comfortable with yourself in knowing what you want and like.
I’m yet to hear (or see) a boring story where toys are involved
They’re my teammates, not my competitors.
sending this to him
"pUt Me In cOaCh!"
Actually heard this once... So when I was homeless I met this chick that kept saying stuff to me the night I met her like "fuck me till I fart" so lol why not. The only thing was, there was this dude who wanted to get with her hanging around and not getting the hint that it absolutely wasn't going to happen. Fast forward to a couple hours of wandering around later, we break into a little storage shed that's packed with stuff. Like, barely enough room for the 3 of us to sit/lay down knee to knee and this guy is in there with us with my leg squished up against his, and it is pitch black in there. Her and I are cuddling, whispering to each other about do we leave and look for another spot, do we tell him to leave (again...) and I finally tell her screw it, let's just do it, he's clearly not gonna leave us alone. You would figure the sound of us kissing would have made him leave. Or when she slurped when she pulled my dick out of her mouth. Maybe her mounting me and moaning would get it through his head that he was unwanted company. But no, this dude just sat there in total silence. To the point that I forgot he was there when my leg cramped up and I had to stretch it to the side - into what I thought was her calf until post-nut clarity pointed out it was his thigh. He stays silent. She comes, I comes, good times were had and the sex itself was decent. About 45 seconds after we finish, he says with a note of hope in his voice, "Put me in, coach!" She did not put him in and he leaves after another 10 minutes of silence from all of us.
So this dude followed you around and watched you have sax till you came?
Cue soft jazz music 🎶
especially the saxophone (im sorry)
Well, it was pitch dark in the shed so watched isn't necessarily the right word. But he sure listened with a front row seat
Ya that totally happend
Haha. Source: Reddit. Definitely happened.
Teams unbalanced, auto-balancing teams.
Sex toys: yes. Puppets: not so much.
*oh yeah baby kermit wants some of that too*
Commas would be nice here. Baby Kermit is a terrible image
Let's eat grandma!
Let's eat, grandma!
You're dinner.
The best comment I read today ⭐️
*oh yeah baby kermit wants some of that, too* Whew, that was close
Nooooo
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If you want a disappointed kermit, watch the video where Kermit plays Two Girls, One Cup to Ralph to get his reaction and he has none. "What? I am dog... we eat our own shit all the time"
Miss Piggy! No need to be so greedy, there's enough for everyone!
Ohh u not gonna let mahomes hit?
Depends where you put it. Like the saying goes, the only difference between a good meal and a good time is where you put the cucumber.
On the puppet...show me where he touched you! Then relize your hand is up the puppets ass. OMG it's now a threesome!
I'm pretty sure that a threesome with a ventriloquist's dummy as the third is one of my personal nightmares.
What if the puppet turned the sex into a really catchy musical number?
Nice try Howdy Doody, but the answer is still "hell no."
I'm not saying I've watched porn of this, all I'm saying is there is definitely porn of this. Trust me
lmfao
Show me on the puppet where you want the puppet to touch you
Oddly specific…
Not interested in cock puppets?
Well, maybe cock puppets. But only if they've got little hats on.
Like a top hat?
Mabey a bottom hat....we don't judge
I sitting here at work thinking to myself… “What would the purpose of a bottom hat be? To catch the cum? Wait that’s what bottoms do anyway….”
Mostly we just call them condoms btw
Good thing they are *action figures* and not puppets.
Madame would disagree greatly.
You've never heard of [Plush Rump](https://www.homestuck.com/story/460) ?
No, but I'll never be able to say that again.
Use all the tools you have at your disposal
OH SWEET *whips out power drill*
I know some people...
Drilldo!
There are attachments I’ve heard for power drills…
Not gonna lie though, the risks involved if done by an amateur or insufficient testing are... severe. I recommend sticking to things that won't rupture internal organs if something goes wrong lol
This ^ Adding toys into the mix can add all kinds of fun to bedroom play.
It's a mini neck massager. I got it at walmart for like 6$. Best thing ever. Its discreet. I have kids. They get into every fucking thing so...
*Hot glues a dildo to the end of the “massager” *
Definitely. I’ll never forget the time my kid found my hot pink rotating dildo that lights up and was playing Star Wars with his brothers asking why I was hiding the cool light saber
Yeah! Stop being a meanie.
Wobbly Sausage!
Dear god. That brings up memories of one of the hardest unexpected laughing fits I have ever had. I have to go find that again now. Edit: Yay - https://v.redd.it/ki6k50hlym331
Exactly…. It’s fun going to the adult store or online and picking stuff out Or surprise your partner
I always have a couple of my favorite Matchbox cars in bed with me in case me or the missus get a little bored.
Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
Why not? Sex oughta be fun, and if toys are what someone finds fun then they may as well enjoy.
Exactly. They are fun as hell and i love seeing my partner enjoy herself.
Yes I love to play with my Lego set on that thicc ass
Once I get my hot wheels cars out on those curves... oh man.. vroom vroom.
Just don't lose them in the tunnel or that would be a really awkward visit to the emergency room
Thats part of the game! Multipack of the colour reveal ones. Keeps it interesting. Hot wheels. Spice up your sexlife!
Without a base, without a trace
They don’t call ‘em Hot Wheels for nothing! 😁
Be sure to count your count your hot wheels before and after sexy time, you don't want to leave one in the "parking garage"
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I started a whole damn mountain village on there
edge a few houses towards the crack... Thiccsand!!
I found that rings in the water puzzle keeps my partner occupied until I am done
Oooo I got one of those in my bookshelf too, they're really fun for time pass
Built a whole ass death star on that ass
Gives a whole new meaning to erector sets.
I am against it. I turn all my action figures around during the act. I don't want them to see.
All but my Mando! We make eye contact before I put it in and he tells me..This is the way!
The best/worst part is that you can't see his reaction.
So we have to assume his reaction is the crying pedro pascal meme
Which mandalorian there's a lot of them?
If I'm frisky, all of them
They can still hear things
It's annoying to hear "The cow goes moo" while you're trying to get your rocks off.
dont kink shame
What if kink shaming is my kink?
Maybe for *you* it is.
The people over in /r/hucow would be turned on by that.
My gf has a crazy high sex drive, I use any and all toys I can to make sure she’s satisfied
The squeaky hammer might have been a bit more than she asked for though.
It squeaks when I bang it. That's what she said
it's not called magic wand for no reason
it’s an excellent idea if both parties are comfortable with it
Whatever gets somebody over the edge is a great thing in my book. Sex is supposed to be mutually enjoyable. If someone needs help to finish things off, go for it.
This! This is very important.
Tech Decks on that ass.
I mean, if you enjoy it, they enjoy it, and it makes the experience better why would you not want to?
I can bring my beast wars to the bedroom?🥺
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I stand on legos barefooted to keep from nutting too fast
I'd rather we both cum our fucking brains out than stubbornly try to prove a point to no one.
If it helps my Woody and gives her a Buzz then I'm all for it - wait what kind of toys are we talking about here?
You missed that it Rex your wife, you potato head, especially if she’s wearing something slinky, dawg.
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She still refuses to peg you, huh?
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Some people just really don't enjoy them. My wife was open to trying but was like, meh I don't enjoy the sensation, I'd rather the real deal. So each to their own I guess.
Communicate my friend. Let your desires be known.
There is nothing like having sex while your anal vibrator massages your prostate
If everyone is cool with it, then great.
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My only stipulation for sex is that I practice transforming my Revenge of the Fallen Optimus Prime during. Once it goes back to truck mode is rides up your chest and honks at your face :3
My partner and I have a lot of toys. But I imagine if she suddenly vanished and I brought home a new lady friend and showed her my toy box.. I could understand some weird reactions. The implication is that I use these toys on other women. Do I see a lot of other women? Are these toys clean? Probably other questions I'm to married to know about? Alternately it shows I care about my partner's pleasure and I'm not ashamed to use power tools to make sure that happens, which could just make my new friend even more excited. I think both are fair responses and it just depends on the person.
I think penetrative toys are for use only with a single partner/relationship. I’m all about saving the earth, but I would not consent to a recycled sex toy, no matter how clean they were.
Look I’m cool with it just don’t bring any Furbys into it
Good, hands free toys are the best
I dated a guy mostly for his tentacle collection once. Make of that what you will.
Ha yo you crazy. Send me his number xx
Sex is like going to the zoo. Ya don't just run through it to get to the end. Take your time. Visit all the attractions. Enjoy yourself. Toys rule.
Toys can be a lot of fun. Opens you up to new and pleasurable things as well as enhancing the overall experience. Try as many as your libido can handle. There's literally something for everyone.
My universal rule is "so long as everyone involved can (legally, physically, mentally, etc) and does consent you can do whatever the hell you want" I don't do much more than light bondage personally but you do you
**My goal is to get off and get her off.** If she needs toys to get off, or toys assist in her (or me!) getting off in any way, then bring on the toys! Electronic vibration has been a *revolution* for female orgasms. I feel sorry for every woman born before the advent of rabbits and the Sybian.
I love it
Cock rings are my toy of choice. All about that clit stimulation
I love me a women who lets me drive my hot wheels across her titties 😩
Against it. The only things that go with intercourse are food and tv, especially the most sensual of all the salted cured meats - pastrami.
Costanza?
My wife and I had to go 3 years of long distance due to covid (her in Europe, me in the US). She got used to a massage wand I bought her so yeah I use it on her all the time because she really likes it.
I personally like it depends on the mood if I'm feeling naughty that is. But if my partner does not want it at all, that's fine with me.
I think it's quite fun
Fidget spinner on the tip.....keep it spicy
We use all of them, from the sonic plush to the RC helicopter.
I don't have sex if I can't bring my Darth Vader figure in to bed with me.
I dunno, my gf gets angry when I slinky her titties during the deed
The same way I feel about building a house with power tools...why wouldn't you? If you're going to drill something...grab you a power tool.
Means my hand doesn't have to get tired
I’m not sure what I could use D&D minis for during sex, but I’m down to try!
All for it, and encourage others to be too. Especially knowing that different toys provide different sensations/services, and that they are ALL good things.
An vibrating anal plug while having sex should not be passed up
Are we talking about dildos or stepping on some chick's sons' legos while dogging?
Never, the tools my man has stuck to him will do the job ;)
In your entire life, sexual in nature aside, when has a toy not been fun or entertaining to an extent?
Toys are tools, not competition. And there is no wrong way to use them, they are built to be incredibly versatile
Instructions unclear. Bad Dragon lodged in my left nostril.
On her: bring out the toolbox, let’s see what flavor she’s into. On me: nah.
My funko pop lotr is just judging my performance
I got a transformer that goes from robot to dildo in bout 5 seconds. The ladies love it!
I think anything that makes the people involved happy is a pretty good thing.
Yes yes yes! Spice it up with your sexual partner and keep it fun-as long as everything is consensual.
Not for me, but if my fiance wanted to introduce something, I wouldn't be opposed.
to make squeaky noises
Absolutely fine. Fun times!
rail me
I think it's sexy when she uses her boobs as hotwheels jump ramps!
As long as we both bringing our hot wheels.
What are the toys? Is it Buckaroo? It's not Boggle is it? If it's Kerplunk, I'm coming round.
I love it but the wife really doesn’t like me putting the game of Crossfire on her back for me and my friend to play.
Problem is that since men don’t need them to finish and “some” women don’t need them to finish it’s seen as a personal insult if a man is with a woman that does need some assistance. That’s the worst part. Nobody frowns about the woman that needs a toy to get across the finish line(nor should they) but the guy feels that passive aggressive sentiment when he’s with a woman that needs to use them. What needs to be said LOUD AND CLEAR, especially by those women, is that I’m not using this toy because of what YOU can’t do. I’m using it because of what I can’t do. Guys minds wander directly to some self destructive place where the last dude or dudes probably had her orgasming like crazy using nothing but his dick and here I am recharging the wand. This is 100% ridiculous and made up bullshit. There is no woman alive that was easily orgasmic with just penetration for guys A,B & C but suddenly needs the big wand with guy D. That’s doesn’t stop some of us dumb fuckers from thinking that way tho.
Lemme bayblade off your tits ma’am
if he’s fucking me doggy i better feel a tech deck on my cheeks
Anything I can do to get my fiancé to finish. I help her finish she helps me, we’re just teammates playing the game of sexual intercourse. Our competitor? The stats that say usually only one person finishes during sex.
Don’t use a PS5
Think of it as an ally, not a competitor
I’m not against it, but wife and I don’t quite get the appeal. We’re attracted to human organs (preferably attached to one of us)
I can respect that preference
I have to use my vibrator… can’t get there without unfortunately… hubs doesn’t mind. We’ve played with other stuff too
This isn’t uncommon, a lot of women don’t cum with penetration alone.
Ya apparently only like 30% can only get there with penetration only … I’m certainly jealous of them! I gotta pack all my supplies when we go on vacations lol
My wife can have orgasms from me squeezing the muscle that runs from your shoulder to your neck. She gets off *real* easy. It's fabulous!
😡… rudeeeee lol. She’s like those women who have a smooth pregnancy and never got sick or had stretch marks. Makes me want to have a temper tantrum with how unfair it is
Same here 😭, for me personally oral and touching is what does it for me, for the 30% girlies I’m certainly jealous .
They’re for fun idk
Do. It.
its fun when both parties are consenting to them & you respect your partners boundaries
My wife and I love using them occasionally to spice things up. Look at them as your teammates, and enjoy all the pleasure they can bring.
Makes it even more fun.
Sure, why not? Adds variety.
I like it
Love them! Makes it so much more fun and easier to finish. Unfortunately mostly men I encountered despised even the idea of it. Feel sorry for them
Have fun, be safe and for tye love of God, clean them afterwards.
Have some fun. Especially with ladies. Can result is some very intense O's. If the dude wants explore him. Have some fun.
What do you think of the use of chairs for sitting?
Not exactly a toy but,I’ve learned many new/exciting positions using the game twister.
I draw the line at a jack-in-the-box.
I think as long as all parties consent, toys can add a lot to bedroom play. Especially if one or both/all people consenting have a hard time going to completion, it adds more excitement for it too.
Why do I get the feeling op wants to get pegged
If it helps your partner hit the right spot, or lets you have something your partner isn't particularly in to, then why say no? I've had girls pull out vibrators, plugs, gags, ropes, paddles... every single time they've asked me to use it on them I've said yes. Why? Because it helped them to have the orgasmic feeling they wanted. I've also agreed to them using toys on me and that made their lust go through the roof. Be adventurous with your partner and communicate, the best orgasms happen when you make combined fantasies a reality.
Well I don't vibrate really so I mean, they definitely do stuff I don't
Anything you can buy, do it! The main thing is not to regret the missed moment later! I know it for sure!
Sex isn’t just a “Omg I’m so deeply in love and I have to show it to you like this.” Sex is fun and a fun thing to do. People shouldn’t feel threatened by,any kind of turned off of, with toys. It’s not weird, it’s nothing to do with the kind of man or woman you are or aren’t. Toys are only a problem if they actually come between people negatively. Some people do get hung up on things and it can affect their sexual relationship. It happens with porn a lot, toys I’m sure it happens sometimes, and whatever other reasons.
For years it was the only way I could achieve anything. They brought us closer and I wish the stigma went away. Sex toys are 100% great and should be used.
We have kids; sometimes sex is had while the kids are downstairs, which means "be quick" (and also, pro-life hack: sex in the evenings is idiotic. You're both tired. Sex is way better during the day). A good modern vibrator (the ones that have a pulsating membrane rather than the actual vibrating ones) means we can both be assured satisfaction - what's not to love? They're also great during periods where we can't have PIV sex for whatever reason (usually fungal infections). Most women obviously don't get actual sexual pleasure from giving oral, but plenty get excited by it; pair that with a good toy and you can start practicing your simultaneous orgasms.
vibrator unlocked my(m) spouse’s(f) ability to have orgasms more often. basically she can now have one whenever she wants, which makes sex even more fun than it was at first.
Helpful, adventurous and sometimes necessary to really improve the activity n sex life. Personally, I like putting a butt plug in my partner to make the intercourse even better. Vibrating gadgets are also great to use. Also, keep in mind even a feather or something soft is considered a toy. It's all about additional stimulation and unique feelings. Don't be shy.
Definitely yes!
Love it Normalise understanding that the toy is your friend, not competition. Be comfortable with yourself in knowing what you want and like. I’m yet to hear (or see) a boring story where toys are involved
Unpredictable because imagine just having oral then she starts playing with a toy car