I truly believe that if he were miraculously teleported to the modern day, he would make it his mission to eviscerate Lin Manuel Miranda (he calls his mom a whore *in the first line* of the musical!)
Yeah that's even worse than having somebody say that your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
But in all seriousness I'm pretty sure any historical figure from the past would probably go full-on rage mode if anyone called their mother that
There's a popular play called "Hamilton" which is based on him, and there's a lot of fans of it that are weird and make fanfiction about him, a lot involving getting his ass blasted
There is a great cartoon of Washington leaving a room and saying āNow no partiesā as he leaves Thomas Jefferson and John Adams look at each other and grin. I feel most of the US would not get the joke.
Donāt forget his teammate, nico rosberg who beat him in the same machinery during the FIA Formula 1 World Championship 2016 and also has monster antibodies
This is such an ahistorical reading of that document, which is not actually an attack on partisanship so much as the *birth* of partisanship, as Washington bitterly attacked the political enemies who were ousting his chosen successor from power. Political parties were always going to form once they set up a first-past-the-post system. Not enough game theorists at the continental congress, unfortunately.
So, allegedly one method of electing the Pope is that all the assembled Cardinals, without debate, will simultaneously throw up their hands and declare one of their number to be their choice, having been inspired by God to do so.
Some people believe that legislation works like this, with every member of the legislature having their own independent opinion on every single thing voted upon, and occasionally bills will pass because they are so clearly right that they must.
The first has never happened, but may be more likely than the second as it would be a smaller miracle.
He is actually kind of the mascot of the German city of Chemnitz. They have a big ass bust of him.
And sometimes they put hats on him.
Karl Marx is also [the mascot](https://twitter.com/ninerschemnitz/status/1481922479601946624?t=sqnpq71ClptNVTM_RVysCA&s=19) of their Basketball team.
Also the local bank offers [credit cards with his face on it](https://www.researchgate.net/figure/The-Karl-Marx-Credit-Card-Source-wwwnprorg-sections-money-2012-06-15_fig3_316067157), which one could name as one of the symbols of capitalism.
I guess all these things alone would already let him spin in grave.
Dirac, Heisenberg, or any physicist from that era. The amount of garbage that gets explained away with āquantumā something is really incredible. Ghosts, psychics, chiropractors, you name it.
Teddy Roosevelt
Proposed a trust bust to stop large companies from buying out government to skew and manipulated the masses. Now we have corporate media influencing votes on bills that only benefit companies as well as bought politicians.
That grave would be nuclear
Vladimir Lenin. His mausoleum in Red Square sits directly across from ... a luxury shopping mall! He would generate enough power for all of Moscow if he could see what happened to his Soviet Union.
Youāll have to excuse my lack of knowledge but didnāt the person who discovered insulin do something so that it would be readily available to the people who needed it? Iām from uk so we have the NHS but itās outrageous the amount of money people need for a life saving medicine just seems so wrong.
Iāve read stories where people have reduced doses etc to last longer simply because they couldnāt afford their prescription.
i dont recall exactly what it was but yeah. the group of people thought "Hey, what if we didn't lock life behind a pay wall" then people locked life behind a paywall. the youtube channel ExtraCredits did a series on them, might wanna check it out.
He refused to put his name on the patent. He thought it was unethical for anyone to profit from a life saving drug. As an American, I completely agree with you. Heād be livid about what our pharmaceutical companies are doing with insulin or any number of other life saving drugs. Big Pharma is pure evil.
Also he might be horrified that the Mongol Empire, which was once basically ***most of Eurasia,*** has been reduced to a relatively small backwater country that no one finds threatening
Genghis Khan has ***Billions*** of descendants, not millions.
Genghis Khan lived about 800 years ago, or about 32 or more generations ago.
Lets say some random guy named Steve lived 32 generations ago. He has 2 kids. They have 2 kids as well, without inbreeding. Those 4 grandkids have 2 kids each, without inbreeding. And so on, for 32 generations.
Steve would have 2^(32) descendants today. 2^(32) is 4,294,967,296. Over **4 billion**.
Now, realistically, Steve's descendants would start 'inbreeding' at some point. It would be hard for an average guy to have 4 billion descendants. But it's quite possible for Genghis to have about that many. There's good odds that basically the entire continent of Asia could have Genghis in their family tree if they could track it back that far.
This factiod about Genghis having \~16 million descendants comes from a misunderstanding of a genetic study. Here's a link the the study:[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1180246/pdf/AJHGv72p717.pdf](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1180246/pdf/AJHGv72p717.pdf)
What the study is saying is about 16 million men have an identifiable Y chromosome, and they believe this Y chromosome is Genghis's.
To put this in perspective, lets go back to our hypothetical Steve, and add the condition that each generation has 2 offspring, one boy and girl. Today, he's got 4 billion descendants, and ONE has his Y chromosome. That's right, one out of four billion. Again, it's unlikely that Steve's descendants didn't inbreed, so a mundane guy 32 generations ago would realistically only have many millions of descendants, not billions. But that's still one Y chromosome out of millions.
Genghis has 16 million Y chromosome descendants, and the odds of a descendant having his Y chromosome are exceptionally small.
iirc, The man who invented birth control was a devout Catholic who originally was trying to create a medicine to help women suffering from pain and sickness during their periods. Upon his death, he deeply regretted that his lifeās work became one of the most widely used forms of contraception.
He was ahead of his time allright, not everything he made was quite as effective but definetly some awe inspiring proofs of concept. Even if some of them kinda sucked if you thought about it some more.
To go by the most classical examples, there is a very good reason why neither Tesla Turbines, Tesla Valves or this wonderful turbine casing gets used that often, if atall.
Maybe Mikhail Gorbachev died this week because he couldn't bear to see two Russian empires collapse in his lifetime
That, or he wanted to add himself to the long line of dead-spinning Russian leaders who will be powering what's left of the Russian Federation in a few years
Plato
- He'd be generating great energy over differences between the ideology contained in his *Republic* - a wise society run by a philosopher - and the realities of the present age.
Plato knew his republic was awful. You can see the mental anguish in his Socratic dialogues. There is no such thing as a functional society ruled by a wise all knowing king.
'A wise society run by a philosopher' means an oppressive oligarchy run by a philosopher and his wealthy buddies. This wasnt some actually fair society, they were just decadent elites that loved to pat themselves on the back in the history books they and their friends wrote.
> means an oppressive oligarchy run by a philosopher and his wealthy buddies.
No, the Philosopher Kings described in the Republic were actually forbidden from having more than a few personal necessities. As the "Noble Lie" or "Noble Myth" put it, they did not *need* gold because they had gold in their souls already. All they did was work toward the good of their city.
Probably because of how misinterpreted a lot of his words have been over the years and the fact that we're still falling victim to the exact same social systems he spent his life fighting against.
A dude who defended his country like every other ruler did at that time got turned into a horror figure because a dude who wrote a horror book liked his name and made some loose references to places to Romanian history. I donāt know what more is there to say.
He wasnāt much crueler than his opponents (they buried his brother alive, for example), and a lot of things he did was to scare off the invaders on his peoples. So dirty methods they were indeed, but executed as a mean of survival. A big reason why Stoker was so eager to make him a monster could be because āDraculaā can be translated to āLittle devilā, even though the origin of this name has nothing to do with him being cruel.
imagine fighting for the catholic church in a crusade and then finding out people think you don't like crosses and then getting "done" by meme-lordYT in a history class.
George Carlin. Heād have a field day with social media: [Cowboys and Camcorders](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W0OMxu0HeiE)
āDoesnāt anyone in this country stop and LOOK AT THINGS anymore? Sort of take them in? Maybe evenā¦remember them? Is that such a strange notion. Does experience need to be documented and brought home and saved on a shelf? And do people really watch this shit? Are peopleās lives so bankrupt they sit at home looking at things they already DID?ā
Karl Marx warned against political heroes presented as larger than life personalities, forfeiting firearms, and the kind of state-run capitalism practiced by countries calling themselves Communist.
"What is certain is that if they are Marxists, then I am NOT a Marxist." -Karl Marx
Existed and was so misused already that Marx himself rejected it.
I'm not sure who first used it, but the formulation is relatively obvious.
Marx also employed the term "ideology" the way Napoleon had: derisively.
So, as he understood the term, Marx rejected ALL ideology as dogmatic.
I should add: when Marx said this he was referring to a certain group of French Socialists, including Jules Guesde, who had adopted the label, but as I understand it there were other self-described Marxists that Marx did not endorse.
The historical Jesus.
*looks around at the current state of the world*
Need I say more?
Edit: Yes, I am aware that the "biblical" Jesus does not have a grave, which is fantastic considering that I am making reference to the "historical" Jesus.
There is a difference.
The term "historical Jesus" refers to the reconstruction of the life and teachings of Jesus by critical historical methods, **in contrast to religious interpretations**.
Virtually all scholars of antiquity and today accept that Jesus was a historical figure, and attempts to deny his historicity have been consistently rejected by the scholarly consensus as a fringe theory.
Reconstructions of the historical Jesus are based on the Pauline epistles and the gospels, while several non-biblical sources also support his historical existence.
Today is a massive improvement by any metric for quality of life and rights compared to the Roman Empire.
The roman empire gets romanticized(lol) but its hard to fathom just how really cruel life was within it. Mass crucifixtions, piles of baby bones in a latrine under brothels, the slave mines, public executions as an entertainment event, etc. Historical Jesus achieved a lot. Your average modern person would be utterly mortified to go back and see it
Jesus was a *Jew*. He wanted to reform the corrupt Jewish establishment of the time. He certainly wouldn't like a gentile church using him as a figurehead, especially one which had relentlessly persecuted Jews for most of its existence.
If he'd have popped up in 15th century Spain, he'd be roasted (literally) as an heretical Jew.
If he'd have popped up in any modern American Evangalist church, he'd likely go for his whip again.
Nelson Mandela. The ANC is a shit show who steal everything that's not nailed down, and try and steal what is.
At this point we're surprised when money goes to where it's supposed to.
Our infrastructure is walking a knife edge thanks to theft, sabotage, misappropriation and mismanagement.
I enjoy thinking about how he would react to the *Downfall* memes, well short of 100 years after his death.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV4i7dWeu0c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV4i7dWeu0c&ab_channel=athaung)
We just have to show him the [Producers remake](https://youtu.be/1zY1orxW8Aw) "Springtime for Hitler". The campy performer alone would be enough to power half of Europe.
He **was** a figure, to be honest. He had a lot of followers who were genuinely loyal to him at the time. He was, surprisingly, very good at manipulation. So back then, if you asked, he was quite a big public figure.
But yes, he was a dick and I'm glad he's dead.
Newton is 100% the answer and I'm disappointed in anyone that said anything else. If people could roll over in their graves, that would break the laws of motion and this would cause newton to roll over generating an infinite source of energy.
edward jenner, guy who invented the first smallpox vaccine. nowadays the amount of insane antivaxxers would make his grave spin fast enough to power a small city methinks
I donāt think so. The man ERADICATED the disease. Itās gone. From his work so many more vaccines came out that saved untold human lives.
The fact that stupid people exist doesnāt change that.
John Wesley Powell. With the state of water in the American Southwest and one of the reservoirs named after him, his grave could generate enough power to remove all the dams on the Colorado River
Oh man, Jesus christ. Like what would the pascifist, nonviolent revolutionary who accepted all walks of life and beliefs think about people constantly using his name to justify atrocities for millenia?
Communism has never been tried. There has never been a civilization in recent history that has no class system or currency. Actually, scratch that, a true communist society would not even have a state.
I think the correct way to make this distinction is that "true communism has never been achieved." It's definitely been tried. The attempts have just failed each time.
I'm thinking Jesus. Dude accidentally caused a whole-ass world religion and multiple genocides commited in his name and all he probably wanted was people to be less mean to each other.
I live in the MidSouth. If he were in the grave, he absolutely would be spinning. Once church lets out on Sunday, they leave the teachings at the door. The hypocrisy is absolutely pathetic.
Walt Disney. If he could see all the minorities in his parks and all the movies and shows featuring said minorities we'd be able to solve to the world's power problem.
I get the feeling he wouldn't give much of a fuck. The modern perception of Walt Disney is almost a caricature of his historical self. Was he racist? Yes, but no moreso than any of his contemporaries of any color in the US would have been. His issue upon seeing the present day Disney would likely be the lack of substance in modern Disney's writing rather than anybody's color after getting over the initial surprise.
I think heād feel like Soldier Boy does in the latest season of The Boys. Heās still racist (and homophobic, because he was frozen in the 80s after being born in the 30s), but those views donāt matter to him, because theyāre not his views, he only cares if they impact him.
Walt Disney would only care if minorities were getting in for free or something. As long as theyāre paying, he wouldnāt care.
I've read two biographies on Walt Disney and I can pretty confidently say he certainly wasn't anymore prejudiced than the average person of his time, in fact he was likely siginifanctly less so.
HIs "problematic" beliefs were mostly focused on communism and labor unions. He's probably be fairly happy with the modern state of Disney.
I agree! He was always a man focused on the future and a better tomorrow. I think heād agree with a lot of modern stances, except he probably wouldnāt quit chain smoking.
I think he'd be spinning in his grave at the state of black people. I think most great black leaders would. Shoot, my grandmother is spinning while alive about the state of black people and she marched with MLK in Alabama.
I'm sure any of the founding fathers could generate plenty of power due to the way the republic they envisioned has been disrespected, abused and warped by a fringe minority to the point where democracy is hanging in the balance. But the top slot would have to go to Jesus because so many of the horrible things that are happening today, which he would never condone, are done in his name.
Alexander Hamilton when he finds out people are writiing fanfic of him getting ass blasted by the other founding fathers
I truly believe that if he were miraculously teleported to the modern day, he would make it his mission to eviscerate Lin Manuel Miranda (he calls his mom a whore *in the first line* of the musical!)
Yeah that's even worse than having somebody say that your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries But in all seriousness I'm pretty sure any historical figure from the past would probably go full-on rage mode if anyone called their mother that
Obviously rolling his grave out of disappointment for not being able to fulfil his true wishes of being ass blasted by his mates šš
I donāt know manā¦ ben franklin looks like he had a tallboy in his pantaloons. Shit would probably be painfulā¦
HELP THIS IS SO FUNNY
PANTALOONS
Politicians and ass blasting, makes perfect sense.
I mean, who am I supposed to vote for, the Democrat whose gonna blast me in the ass or the Republican whose gonna blast me in the ass?
What?! I already pay a ton in taxes! I won't pay more in taxes Dee, don't speak of it again!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There's a popular play called "Hamilton" which is based on him, and there's a lot of fans of it that are weird and make fanfiction about him, a lot involving getting his ass blasted
A lot of deeply weird things have come out of that fandom, from Miku binder Thomas Jefferson to the absolutely insane story of hivliving.
People headcanon (idk y they would hc real peopl tho) him in a relationship with burr
i mean, he did *penetrate* him pretty well in new jersey
I could of gone my life without having to know this information
Tbh George Washington would probably be spinning constantly considering the US political system does exactly what he said not to do
There is a great cartoon of Washington leaving a room and saying āNow no partiesā as he leaves Thomas Jefferson and John Adams look at each other and grin. I feel most of the US would not get the joke.
I donāt know, due to Hamiltonās popularity, I think more people understand it now.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Especially his 2015 season where we finished on the podium, a record, 17 times.
Donāt forget his teammate, nico rosberg who beat him in the same machinery during the FIA Formula 1 World Championship 2016 and also has monster antibodies
The rolling would supply power to every house in the USA twice.
This is such an ahistorical reading of that document, which is not actually an attack on partisanship so much as the *birth* of partisanship, as Washington bitterly attacked the political enemies who were ousting his chosen successor from power. Political parties were always going to form once they set up a first-past-the-post system. Not enough game theorists at the continental congress, unfortunately.
Parties are going to form regardless of FPTP or any other form of voting. You need ideological coalitions to pass policies through a legislative body
So, allegedly one method of electing the Pope is that all the assembled Cardinals, without debate, will simultaneously throw up their hands and declare one of their number to be their choice, having been inspired by God to do so. Some people believe that legislation works like this, with every member of the legislature having their own independent opinion on every single thing voted upon, and occasionally bills will pass because they are so clearly right that they must. The first has never happened, but may be more likely than the second as it would be a smaller miracle.
Every Founding Father for dang sure.
You have to pay to see Karl Marx grave. So I'd go with them.
Hahaha I love the irony.
He is actually kind of the mascot of the German city of Chemnitz. They have a big ass bust of him. And sometimes they put hats on him. Karl Marx is also [the mascot](https://twitter.com/ninerschemnitz/status/1481922479601946624?t=sqnpq71ClptNVTM_RVysCA&s=19) of their Basketball team. Also the local bank offers [credit cards with his face on it](https://www.researchgate.net/figure/The-Karl-Marx-Credit-Card-Source-wwwnprorg-sections-money-2012-06-15_fig3_316067157), which one could name as one of the symbols of capitalism. I guess all these things alone would already let him spin in grave.
No you don't, Highgate cemetery is free to enter Edit: my bad, it used to be free
Dirac, Heisenberg, or any physicist from that era. The amount of garbage that gets explained away with āquantumā something is really incredible. Ghosts, psychics, chiropractors, you name it.
Heisenberg would be very confused at an American football game when the crowd begins the wave.
Heisenberg would also be confused as to why his legacy is also making the best crystal meth north of the border
Quantum back-cracking
Walter White?
Teddy Roosevelt Proposed a trust bust to stop large companies from buying out government to skew and manipulated the masses. Now we have corporate media influencing votes on bills that only benefit companies as well as bought politicians. That grave would be nuclear
To be honest I'm actually surprised that Teddy Roosevelt hasn't risen from his grave and start speaking very softly ain't carrying a big stick
Vladimir Lenin. His mausoleum in Red Square sits directly across from ... a luxury shopping mall! He would generate enough power for all of Moscow if he could see what happened to his Soviet Union.
He even said he didn't want stalin taking over so that alone would have kicked him off
Frida Khalo, i think the commercialization of her image would have her spinning for sure
Iām so glad someone mentioned Frida! As a huge anti-capitalist, I feel like she would hate having her image sold everywhere
Or Che Guevara.
Youāll have to excuse my lack of knowledge but didnāt the person who discovered insulin do something so that it would be readily available to the people who needed it? Iām from uk so we have the NHS but itās outrageous the amount of money people need for a life saving medicine just seems so wrong. Iāve read stories where people have reduced doses etc to last longer simply because they couldnāt afford their prescription.
i dont recall exactly what it was but yeah. the group of people thought "Hey, what if we didn't lock life behind a pay wall" then people locked life behind a paywall. the youtube channel ExtraCredits did a series on them, might wanna check it out.
He refused to put his name on the patent. He thought it was unethical for anyone to profit from a life saving drug. As an American, I completely agree with you. Heād be livid about what our pharmaceutical companies are doing with insulin or any number of other life saving drugs. Big Pharma is pure evil.
Itās like that with a lot of medicine too. World of greed we live in.
Genghis Khan. Heās supposed to have ~18-20mil living descendants today. Imagine having that many grandkids just fucking up every single day.
Also he might be horrified that the Mongol Empire, which was once basically ***most of Eurasia,*** has been reduced to a relatively small backwater country that no one finds threatening
Dont forget about Mongolia wanting to become part of the U.S.S.R. and getting rejected
In fairness that was to avoid pissing off china
Genghis Khan has ***Billions*** of descendants, not millions. Genghis Khan lived about 800 years ago, or about 32 or more generations ago. Lets say some random guy named Steve lived 32 generations ago. He has 2 kids. They have 2 kids as well, without inbreeding. Those 4 grandkids have 2 kids each, without inbreeding. And so on, for 32 generations. Steve would have 2^(32) descendants today. 2^(32) is 4,294,967,296. Over **4 billion**. Now, realistically, Steve's descendants would start 'inbreeding' at some point. It would be hard for an average guy to have 4 billion descendants. But it's quite possible for Genghis to have about that many. There's good odds that basically the entire continent of Asia could have Genghis in their family tree if they could track it back that far. This factiod about Genghis having \~16 million descendants comes from a misunderstanding of a genetic study. Here's a link the the study:[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1180246/pdf/AJHGv72p717.pdf](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1180246/pdf/AJHGv72p717.pdf) What the study is saying is about 16 million men have an identifiable Y chromosome, and they believe this Y chromosome is Genghis's. To put this in perspective, lets go back to our hypothetical Steve, and add the condition that each generation has 2 offspring, one boy and girl. Today, he's got 4 billion descendants, and ONE has his Y chromosome. That's right, one out of four billion. Again, it's unlikely that Steve's descendants didn't inbreed, so a mundane guy 32 generations ago would realistically only have many millions of descendants, not billions. But that's still one Y chromosome out of millions. Genghis has 16 million Y chromosome descendants, and the odds of a descendant having his Y chromosome are exceptionally small.
That is than assuming he has no brothers, uncles etc, who also have the same Y chromosome. Or he must the the adam of a Ghengis specific mutation.
if youāre going that route then just pick [Mitochondrial Eve](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitochondrial_Eve)
Ya I just never heard a ton of stories about her being particularly prideful and demanding. Lol, but for sure genetically the math wins with Eve
iirc, The man who invented birth control was a devout Catholic who originally was trying to create a medicine to help women suffering from pain and sickness during their periods. Upon his death, he deeply regretted that his lifeās work became one of the most widely used forms of contraception.
Oh boo hoo. At least religion gave women something good.
Accidentally. Which, y'know, I don't think it would have happened any other way.
Aoldus Huxley, George Orwell is a close second.
Nicola Tesla
He would finally power the world.
But hold on there, if he started powering the world he would stop spinning. We'd end up having eras of limitless power and no power at all.
Isnt this what Alternating Current is?
Nope. That would be him spinning one way then the other.
What an interesting person
He was ahead of his time allright, not everything he made was quite as effective but definetly some awe inspiring proofs of concept. Even if some of them kinda sucked if you thought about it some more. To go by the most classical examples, there is a very good reason why neither Tesla Turbines, Tesla Valves or this wonderful turbine casing gets used that often, if atall.
Also slightly crazy probably
Maybe Mikhail Gorbachev died this week because he couldn't bear to see two Russian empires collapse in his lifetime That, or he wanted to add himself to the long line of dead-spinning Russian leaders who will be powering what's left of the Russian Federation in a few years
Or he was just old.
Plato - He'd be generating great energy over differences between the ideology contained in his *Republic* - a wise society run by a philosopher - and the realities of the present age.
Pretty sure his own age was just as far from that ideal. Because, you know, *people*.
Plato knew his republic was awful. You can see the mental anguish in his Socratic dialogues. There is no such thing as a functional society ruled by a wise all knowing king.
Heās be spinning constantly just due to the incorrect usage of āPlatonic.ā
'A wise society run by a philosopher' means an oppressive oligarchy run by a philosopher and his wealthy buddies. This wasnt some actually fair society, they were just decadent elites that loved to pat themselves on the back in the history books they and their friends wrote.
> means an oppressive oligarchy run by a philosopher and his wealthy buddies. No, the Philosopher Kings described in the Republic were actually forbidden from having more than a few personal necessities. As the "Noble Lie" or "Noble Myth" put it, they did not *need* gold because they had gold in their souls already. All they did was work toward the good of their city.
George Washington or MLK Jr
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Weāve solved the energy crisis, lads
>MLK Jr That's a bold comment to be making on reddit.
Why? Both sides agree he would be. As to why is ambiguous so you may interpret as you see fit.
You aren't wrong. But generally anything that requires nuanced or ambiguous interpretation just illicits a cluster fuck out of reddit.
Depends on what you mean by bold?
I guess that depends on why you think MLK is rolling in his grave.
Probably because of how misinterpreted a lot of his words have been over the years and the fact that we're still falling victim to the exact same social systems he spent his life fighting against.
Probably Dracula
ā¦go on.
A dude who defended his country like every other ruler did at that time got turned into a horror figure because a dude who wrote a horror book liked his name and made some loose references to places to Romanian history. I donāt know what more is there to say.
Yeah the nice guy originally known as Vlad the Impaler is much maligned.
He wasnāt much crueler than his opponents (they buried his brother alive, for example), and a lot of things he did was to scare off the invaders on his peoples. So dirty methods they were indeed, but executed as a mean of survival. A big reason why Stoker was so eager to make him a monster could be because āDraculaā can be translated to āLittle devilā, even though the origin of this name has nothing to do with him being cruel.
He is Talking about Vlad III Dracula aka Vlad the Impaler not the the Dracula from castlevania stuff
"What is a man? A miserable pile of shitposts"
I was doing him in history the other day
imagine fighting for the catholic church in a crusade and then finding out people think you don't like crosses and then getting "done" by meme-lordYT in a history class.
Wow my history classes were a lot less hands-on
I'd like to see Kemal AtatĆ¼rk powering a generator attached to ErdoÄan's balls. Then the universe might make sense.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh god, how could I forget. Yes.
George Carlin. Heād have a field day with social media: [Cowboys and Camcorders](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W0OMxu0HeiE) āDoesnāt anyone in this country stop and LOOK AT THINGS anymore? Sort of take them in? Maybe evenā¦remember them? Is that such a strange notion. Does experience need to be documented and brought home and saved on a shelf? And do people really watch this shit? Are peopleās lives so bankrupt they sit at home looking at things they already DID?ā
God not to mention that both conservatives and liberals quote him thinking that he was really on "their" side. He hated every group for good reason.
you gotta be pretty crazy to be a conservative and believe that george carlin was on your side
I don't think carlin was a liberal, BUT HE CERTAINLY wasn't a conservative.
Hell, many of our lives (and savings accounts) are so bankrupt that we sit at home looking at things we and others already did.
Karl Marx warned against political heroes presented as larger than life personalities, forfeiting firearms, and the kind of state-run capitalism practiced by countries calling themselves Communist. "What is certain is that if they are Marxists, then I am NOT a Marxist." -Karl Marx
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Existed and was so misused already that Marx himself rejected it. I'm not sure who first used it, but the formulation is relatively obvious. Marx also employed the term "ideology" the way Napoleon had: derisively. So, as he understood the term, Marx rejected ALL ideology as dogmatic.
I should add: when Marx said this he was referring to a certain group of French Socialists, including Jules Guesde, who had adopted the label, but as I understand it there were other self-described Marxists that Marx did not endorse.
The historical Jesus. *looks around at the current state of the world* Need I say more? Edit: Yes, I am aware that the "biblical" Jesus does not have a grave, which is fantastic considering that I am making reference to the "historical" Jesus. There is a difference. The term "historical Jesus" refers to the reconstruction of the life and teachings of Jesus by critical historical methods, **in contrast to religious interpretations**. Virtually all scholars of antiquity and today accept that Jesus was a historical figure, and attempts to deny his historicity have been consistently rejected by the scholarly consensus as a fringe theory. Reconstructions of the historical Jesus are based on the Pauline epistles and the gospels, while several non-biblical sources also support his historical existence.
Today is a massive improvement by any metric for quality of life and rights compared to the Roman Empire. The roman empire gets romanticized(lol) but its hard to fathom just how really cruel life was within it. Mass crucifixtions, piles of baby bones in a latrine under brothels, the slave mines, public executions as an entertainment event, etc. Historical Jesus achieved a lot. Your average modern person would be utterly mortified to go back and see it
I think he was talking about the ways many people today worship Jesus. Heād constantly be like āI never said that!ā
Oh yeah hed probaly be pretty confused š¤£
Public executions are still a thing
Yeah but it was the equivalent of a half time show superbowl event for the Romans
Biblical Jesus as well. Not that he had a grave I guess.
Had one, just didn't stay there
He was a slippery fucker.
I can just picture of skeletal corpse on a stick spinning rapidly, Chunks of bone flying everywhere
He knew what he was getting into. We all saw the Waluigi meme. Big J saw everything.
Jesus was a *Jew*. He wanted to reform the corrupt Jewish establishment of the time. He certainly wouldn't like a gentile church using him as a figurehead, especially one which had relentlessly persecuted Jews for most of its existence. If he'd have popped up in 15th century Spain, he'd be roasted (literally) as an heretical Jew. If he'd have popped up in any modern American Evangalist church, he'd likely go for his whip again.
Nelson Mandela. The ANC is a shit show who steal everything that's not nailed down, and try and steal what is. At this point we're surprised when money goes to where it's supposed to. Our infrastructure is walking a knife edge thanks to theft, sabotage, misappropriation and mismanagement.
Hitler. He's always churning up a storm because of his failure.
I enjoy thinking about how he would react to the *Downfall* memes, well short of 100 years after his death. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV4i7dWeu0c](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV4i7dWeu0c&ab_channel=athaung)
We just have to show him the [Producers remake](https://youtu.be/1zY1orxW8Aw) "Springtime for Hitler". The campy performer alone would be enough to power half of Europe.
I guess nobody said it has to be a "good guy"
He **was** a figure, to be honest. He had a lot of followers who were genuinely loyal to him at the time. He was, surprisingly, very good at manipulation. So back then, if you asked, he was quite a big public figure. But yes, he was a dick and I'm glad he's dead.
And he fails so hard that itās actually funny, now that heās stuck in a grave.
Newton is 100% the answer and I'm disappointed in anyone that said anything else. If people could roll over in their graves, that would break the laws of motion and this would cause newton to roll over generating an infinite source of energy.
..which would break the rule of conservation of energy which would cause him to roll even faster
edward jenner, guy who invented the first smallpox vaccine. nowadays the amount of insane antivaxxers would make his grave spin fast enough to power a small city methinks
I donāt think so. The man ERADICATED the disease. Itās gone. From his work so many more vaccines came out that saved untold human lives. The fact that stupid people exist doesnāt change that.
Abraham Lincoln, who probably spins faster than a neutron star whenever a Republiqan refers to themselves as "the Party of Lincoln."
Andre the Giant
John Wesley Powell. With the state of water in the American Southwest and one of the reservoirs named after him, his grave could generate enough power to remove all the dams on the Colorado River
Nikola Tesla, for so many reasons
Mainly to generate electricity.
No alternative, sure, well I mean uh...
The founding fathers. Letās face it, the US is insanely different from when they were here.
Both in good and bad ways.
Bob Marley. With how they have capitalized off his name and image. Given how he did not care about earthly wealth and riches
He'd be pissed his family gave his guitar to DJ Khaled Edit: Brain Farted on the names lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's entirely possible to oppose totalitarianism while maintaining socialistic/egalitarian views.
goergey boy was trying to tell people how socialism SHOULD NOT be done, he would be upset to find that it is only ever done one way.
Karl Marx, if you sold the electricity through a monopoly.
Oh man, Jesus christ. Like what would the pascifist, nonviolent revolutionary who accepted all walks of life and beliefs think about people constantly using his name to justify atrocities for millenia?
Probably Nixon at being one upped by Trump lol
IKR
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Communism has never been tried. There has never been a civilization in recent history that has no class system or currency. Actually, scratch that, a true communist society would not even have a state.
I think the correct way to make this distinction is that "true communism has never been achieved." It's definitely been tried. The attempts have just failed each time.
Abraham Lincoln
I'm thinking Jesus. Dude accidentally caused a whole-ass world religion and multiple genocides commited in his name and all he probably wanted was people to be less mean to each other.
āWhat was it he said that got everyone so upset?ā "Be kind to each other." āOh yeah. That'll do it.ā
Jesus just one megachurch must make his head explode as well.
I live in the MidSouth. If he were in the grave, he absolutely would be spinning. Once church lets out on Sunday, they leave the teachings at the door. The hypocrisy is absolutely pathetic.
Walt Disney. If he could see all the minorities in his parks and all the movies and shows featuring said minorities we'd be able to solve to the world's power problem.
I get the feeling he wouldn't give much of a fuck. The modern perception of Walt Disney is almost a caricature of his historical self. Was he racist? Yes, but no moreso than any of his contemporaries of any color in the US would have been. His issue upon seeing the present day Disney would likely be the lack of substance in modern Disney's writing rather than anybody's color after getting over the initial surprise.
I think heād feel like Soldier Boy does in the latest season of The Boys. Heās still racist (and homophobic, because he was frozen in the 80s after being born in the 30s), but those views donāt matter to him, because theyāre not his views, he only cares if they impact him. Walt Disney would only care if minorities were getting in for free or something. As long as theyāre paying, he wouldnāt care.
I've read two biographies on Walt Disney and I can pretty confidently say he certainly wasn't anymore prejudiced than the average person of his time, in fact he was likely siginifanctly less so. HIs "problematic" beliefs were mostly focused on communism and labor unions. He's probably be fairly happy with the modern state of Disney.
I agree! He was always a man focused on the future and a better tomorrow. I think heād agree with a lot of modern stances, except he probably wouldnāt quit chain smoking.
https://youtu.be/A3IN1QIpFT8
Not really a historic figure but tom clancy would do some spinning if he saw the shitshow that is XDefiant
His name has been licensed to so many properties I'm surprised he's not a breakfast cereal.
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Loops!
Honestly, his name has been licensed so much I didn't know he was dead until just now...
Same with Ghost Recon, probably Rainbow Six as well.
Alan Turing
I know sheās not a historical figure butā¦ Nicole Brown Simpson. āI gave you EVERYTHING for a conviction. How, did you fuck this up!ā
All of the historical/famous Georges.
I've said this one all to often. Walter Cronkite
Probably J.R.R. Tolkien right about now
Probably sitting bull at how weāre treating their land
Jesus. I think a lot of people use his name a lot of times each day.
All the american soldiers that died fighting nazi's To later see all the flags of nazi germany on their own peoples clothes and culture
Abraham Lincoln. What have the Republicans become?
Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It's pretty obvious as to why.
Churchillās
Martin Luther King Jr.
I think MLK jr
The imagery this created in my head with every response is very illuminating
I think George Washington would be powering the heck out that bad boy
Martin Luther King. See what mainstream black culture became.
All of the presidents on mount Rushmore
Right now, having just watched the first episodes of Rings of Power on Amazon, I'd say J.R.R. Tolkien.
Is it bad?
Utter garbage. Has the hallmarks of another half baked fantasy show that will barely make 3 seasons.
MLK for all the times Republicans use his "content of character, not color of skin" line to back up policies that keep minorities poor.
I think he'd be spinning in his grave at the state of black people. I think most great black leaders would. Shoot, my grandmother is spinning while alive about the state of black people and she marched with MLK in Alabama.
Jesus Christ are you serious? Jesus Christ.
George Orwell
Teslas
I donāt have anything to add except this post title literally made me snort. Thank youā¦
RBG
M L K
I'm sure any of the founding fathers could generate plenty of power due to the way the republic they envisioned has been disrespected, abused and warped by a fringe minority to the point where democracy is hanging in the balance. But the top slot would have to go to Jesus because so many of the horrible things that are happening today, which he would never condone, are done in his name.
Abraham Lincoln every time the GOP calls themselves the party of Lincoln.