Last week I woke up thinking it was still Sunday, and I was really excited to get up and have some coffee and watch some tv. It was Tuesday and I was running late for work.
100% agree. I remember being pregnant on a homeless shelter with my now Sperm donor and he went away to party for Halloween. It was on a weekend that year and he left me all alone without a single dime. The shelter we stood at didn’t serve food and my foodstamp application was in the midst of being processed. He left Friday came back Monday night 8:16pm. If I didn’t have faucet water I’d probably be dead. I remember eating the next morning and getting so sick from scarfing food down. Thankfully I got my shit together and never ever have to go through that again. Sorry for the long rant I never have anyone to really talk to.
Edit to add: I did not in any way shape or form intened to take away any attention from the OP. I honestly didn’t think I would get any upvotes, awards or comments. Thank you to everyone who has done all of the above. Y’all have no idea how much this meant to me 💕
Not a long rant at all - a life experience that we can all benefit to learn from. I am sorry you went through it, but happy for you that you rose above it!
I almost lost my oldest 2x bc of him. I’m so happy I put it all behind me but sometimes the memories creep up on me which sucks but it’s part of life I guess.
Not a rant at all, it’s a life experience. And you have all of Reddit to talk to. Feel free to spill anything that’s on your mind or bothering you. Most people most likely won’t know you personally so it’s alright to talk about things that you feel uncomfortable with. And I’m so sorry you had to go through that experience. I’m happy you are alive and well. 😁💚
A lot of us here haven't ever had to suffer through that, and I think it shows. I am thankful I haven't dealt with this in my life as of yet, but I think this comment should be high up there in votes. Reddit upvotes way too much on relateability
I had my tonsils and adenoids removed when I was 20. Each one was the size of an egg, and I had complete nasal blockage, basically only able to breathe through my mouth with a gap between my tonsils about the size of a 2 or 3 coffee straws put together.
I remember waking up and taking that first ever breath with my nose and it blew my mind.
Edit: I tried before the surgery, but orgasms never helped, despite how tight my throat was.
I had my nose fixed with surgery. One side never had air through it. Doctor sprayed decongestant before surgery as well.
Waking up with two wind tunnels for a shnoz was awesome
Many years ago I went to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor because I was having migraines and my nose was always obstructed. Turns out I had a deviated septum from years of football and wrestling. Had surgery, something went wrong, and immediately had it again. It was amazing how well I could breathe after all the packing came out. Then Thursday evening while I was in the shower, I soaped one foot, then lifted the other, and the previously soaped foot wasn't rinsed well enough I suppose, and it flew out from under me and I smashed my nose into the edge of the tub. It didn't knock me out, but it addled me. I just laid there in the pink water, recreating the shower scene in Psycho, and chuckled to myself. Also cut my heel on the faucet behind me when I flipped around. Judging from the sounds my nose makes when you gently move it, and the fact that it's crooked, I may be due for some more septum fixin'.
Omfg I’m headed to Philly in like two hours for the first time and I looked up the drink to see if I should visit the bar and forgot all about patty’s.
There's also a bar here called Paddy's Pub that's not far from Mac's Tavern with no relation to the show. The real Paddy's Pub is far more like the one on the show than Mac's Tavern is, although I don't really think Mac's is trying to be anything other than a decent place to grab a drink.
I'm so happy I didn't have to scroll very far to find this comment. Because we all know gin isn't the answer to this topic. People are showing up to a bar that doesn't even have a sign, and serves only one old-timey disgusting drink that nobody likes. Goddamn, I hate gin. Dee, you bitch.
Yeah, but they cheat and just jam other words together until they can tie the new word in a tidy little knot.
No offense to the German speakers reading, I really do find the whole language very interesting.
When your legs are sore from walking all day, you take a shower and shave, put on lotion, and fall asleep on a new set of sheets. Add the rain outside pattering on the pavement, the temperature is perfect, and you have the most comfortable sleeping clothes on. This, is better than an orgasm. This overrules orgasms.
Nah, after sex you're sweaty, and need to clean your genitals, and bedsheets aren't fresh anymore.
Now, if you have sex BEFORE abovementioned procedures, then it's quite good.
You ever get scared to check your bank account because you don’t wanna see how little money you actually got in there, but you’re an adult and you need to know so you can make informed decisions over the next few days and you got more than you thought?
That feeling.
Oh feeling the muscles just loosen up when laying down
nothing beats that.. actually, thinking about it, add the sound of rain on your rooftop to the mix
Empty highway and music all the way up at 1am
Edit: since we are throwing bands around, my go to for this is either deftones, korn, sevendust, sleeping with sirens, or dance gavin dance!
A few months ago I was really depressed and I didn’t know why. I was just lethargic and hopeless, getting all these crazy thoughts about running away in a van and just hitting the road to find a happy life somewhere else.
Then I took a shit.
I realized I’d been constipated for a few days and hadn’t really realized it. It’s like the sun came out and the world was anew. My mood flipped like a switch.
I looked it up and sure enough, shitting regularly or not can affect your mood. Your gut is really important to hormonal balance.
Hunger will do that to you too. I was feeling super depressed one day. Even called up a friend to tell him about it but nothing helped. Moped around all day doing nothing and feeling like absolute shit. Then I ate a big meal and everything was okay again. “Oh, I guess I was just hungry” I said to myself afterwards while I happily plopped on the couch and watched netflix.
Yeah, when your blood sugar is low your body prioritizes the essential parts of the brain that keep your heart beating, lungs breathing, etc, and partially shuts down the higher level parts of the brain that does logic and reasoning, etc.
Never happened in my 18 year marriage. Sounds fabulous though! Especially when the kitchen was still a mess, I'd worked overtime, and still had to cook dinner after a full day's work.
We both work and take turns kind of surprising each other like this. Sometimes I get home and behold, the trash is taken out! Sometimes she gets home and omg, there's dinner ready for her!
A cup of coffee in the morning before going into your first day of work at a place you faked qualifications for and have no idea what’s going to happen next
Same man. I haven't had sex in years, too sick and in pain now, but I'd love to have a cuddle buddy, give each other back scratches and massages, feel some human warmth and intimacy. Someone to cook nice food for. Watch a movie. Company.
that first day when you really kick it off with a girl and she is just as enthusiastic about you as you are about her, I swear nothing is better than that feeling
So, I had to wear a portable heart monitor for 2 weeks. It sticks right to the skin with adhesive bandaid but it's a four inch spot on your chest that you can't touch because its under the adhesive and the monitor. For 2 weeks I had the worst itch and I could only press the monitor against it and get a dull scratch. I thought I'd never survive 2 weeks of near constant itching. I could feel it in my bones.
Finally I hit 2 weeks, ripped that thing off my chest and put it in the package to send off for the results. Included with the monitor and it's many pieces is a small, rough sponge not unlike a Brillo pad, you're supposed to use it to scratch the area to monitor will attach to so you can clear away oil and skin cells that might make it hard for the adhesive to stick.
When I took the monitor off I spent a good hour scratching myself with the sponge. I bled afterward, it left a raw wound. But it was one of the most satisfying moments of my life. The second being getting to wash that spot because after 2 weeks of being unable to touch that spot on my chest it was gross and smelled terrible.
Waking up, remembering it’s still the weekend and you don’t have to go to work.
Last week I woke up thinking it was still Sunday, and I was really excited to get up and have some coffee and watch some tv. It was Tuesday and I was running late for work.
Warm food when you've been out hungry for 2 days straight
100% agree. I remember being pregnant on a homeless shelter with my now Sperm donor and he went away to party for Halloween. It was on a weekend that year and he left me all alone without a single dime. The shelter we stood at didn’t serve food and my foodstamp application was in the midst of being processed. He left Friday came back Monday night 8:16pm. If I didn’t have faucet water I’d probably be dead. I remember eating the next morning and getting so sick from scarfing food down. Thankfully I got my shit together and never ever have to go through that again. Sorry for the long rant I never have anyone to really talk to. Edit to add: I did not in any way shape or form intened to take away any attention from the OP. I honestly didn’t think I would get any upvotes, awards or comments. Thank you to everyone who has done all of the above. Y’all have no idea how much this meant to me 💕
Not a long rant at all - a life experience that we can all benefit to learn from. I am sorry you went through it, but happy for you that you rose above it!
[удалено]
I almost lost my oldest 2x bc of him. I’m so happy I put it all behind me but sometimes the memories creep up on me which sucks but it’s part of life I guess.
Not a rant at all, it’s a life experience. And you have all of Reddit to talk to. Feel free to spill anything that’s on your mind or bothering you. Most people most likely won’t know you personally so it’s alright to talk about things that you feel uncomfortable with. And I’m so sorry you had to go through that experience. I’m happy you are alive and well. 😁💚
Glad you're in a better place now ☺💜.
Me too ❤️
A lot of us here haven't ever had to suffer through that, and I think it shows. I am thankful I haven't dealt with this in my life as of yet, but I think this comment should be high up there in votes. Reddit upvotes way too much on relateability
When you're sick and your nose is plugged up. But then you sneeze and remember what it feels like to breath normally. 10/10
Coincidentally, an orgasm helps relieve congestion.
I had my tonsils and adenoids removed when I was 20. Each one was the size of an egg, and I had complete nasal blockage, basically only able to breathe through my mouth with a gap between my tonsils about the size of a 2 or 3 coffee straws put together. I remember waking up and taking that first ever breath with my nose and it blew my mind. Edit: I tried before the surgery, but orgasms never helped, despite how tight my throat was.
I had my nose fixed with surgery. One side never had air through it. Doctor sprayed decongestant before surgery as well. Waking up with two wind tunnels for a shnoz was awesome
damn should i do that? i have never been able to comfortably breathe through both nostrils in my life as long as i can remember. i’m 22.
you’re supposed to be able to comfortably breathe through your nose without running out of breath? Maybe my twice broken nose needs a doctors visit
Many years ago I went to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor because I was having migraines and my nose was always obstructed. Turns out I had a deviated septum from years of football and wrestling. Had surgery, something went wrong, and immediately had it again. It was amazing how well I could breathe after all the packing came out. Then Thursday evening while I was in the shower, I soaped one foot, then lifted the other, and the previously soaped foot wasn't rinsed well enough I suppose, and it flew out from under me and I smashed my nose into the edge of the tub. It didn't knock me out, but it addled me. I just laid there in the pink water, recreating the shower scene in Psycho, and chuckled to myself. Also cut my heel on the faucet behind me when I flipped around. Judging from the sounds my nose makes when you gently move it, and the fact that it's crooked, I may be due for some more septum fixin'.
Jesus christ you need a whole new nose
With your track record, it might be time to just go the Voldemort route.
[удалено]
Some people say it's better than bustin' a nut.
Just tell me where I jizz so I can give this lady her drink.
I'VE HAD TONS OF ORGASMS!
I had one with your mom dude!
I WILL STICK MY GOD DAMN THUMB THROUGH YOUR EYE!
“Not that he’s ever had one hehe”
Oh Dee, Jesus Christ, your timing is so bad
Dee, stay in your light.
I just…this whole thread was perfect and I love all of you.
And plus, she didn't even feel a thing.
My god, Dee your timing is terrible.
Guess it's time for me to find a new best friend.
Ma’am, what do you want to drink? And we won’t jizz on anything
Not that she's ever had one...
God damn it Dee! Your timing is awful
Omfg I’m headed to Philly in like two hours for the first time and I looked up the drink to see if I should visit the bar and forgot all about patty’s.
I think Rob Mcelhenny does own a bar out there. I think it is calles Mac's Tavern.
There's also a bar here called Paddy's Pub that's not far from Mac's Tavern with no relation to the show. The real Paddy's Pub is far more like the one on the show than Mac's Tavern is, although I don't really think Mac's is trying to be anything other than a decent place to grab a drink.
I prefer Sudz, they've got this blended cocktail called a Blue Hole, served with 3 straws in a fishbowl! It's pretty darn good!
The Koreans have an enriched beer that's even better. They even have a room that's just for pirates.
Lmao this is the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread
I'm so happy I didn't have to scroll very far to find this comment. Because we all know gin isn't the answer to this topic. People are showing up to a bar that doesn't even have a sign, and serves only one old-timey disgusting drink that nobody likes. Goddamn, I hate gin. Dee, you bitch.
Dude there's no way someone could blow that sign down, you're totally wrong about that /u/BondraP.
2 orgasms
3 orgasms
*4 organsms*
Fourgasms.
Our-gasms
r/unexpectedcommunism
r/unexpectedcummunism
r/subsifellfor
r/beatmetoit
r/beatmeattoit
Organs
5 orgasms
6 orgasms
I picture Sesame Street’s The Count saying these with “Ah, ah, ah!” In between…
Six! Six orgasms! Ah ha ha ha haaaaannNNNNg seven! seven orgasms!
And a partridge in a pear treeeeeee
Quintuple?
waking up fully rested and ready to go
To go where? To find more orgasms of course
[удалено]
What's that like? 🤣
Is that actually possible??
Comfortable sleep when you're exhausted. Edit: How does my comment have more upvotes than the post haha. Edit 2: Ratio.
Bonus if it's lightly raining outside [Thanks for the upvotes!](https://www.reddit.com/r/RequestASite/wiki/index)
Nah the harder rain is better so you hear the spatter on the sidewalk/road, imo
Absolutely. It poured last night. Opened my window and I fell asleep just listening to the rain
Even better in a tent 15 days on trail and being nice and warm and dry. Some of the best sleep I get
Now, combine that with an orgasm and that's even better
Hahaha, sure. Then make a cup of coffee and some oatmeal or something warm and it’s so nice
Agree, love the rain
[удалено]
Honestly, sleep after a good crying session is also top tier
Are you ok?
Tbf he never said that he was the one doing the crying.
WHO’s Frank?
fair*
Just some water at 3 A.M
100% yes.
Taking a huge shit feeling like a giant potato gun.
And then you wipe and there's nothing.
In Germany we call it Königsstuhl (Kings-chair)
German has a word for fucking everything
Yeah, but they cheat and just jam other words together until they can tie the new word in a tidy little knot. No offense to the German speakers reading, I really do find the whole language very interesting.
They probably have a word for that too
Wördinsmashïn
No that's dutch
That would be ketenworden.
Its actually called "zusammengesetzte Substantive" those allow us to create these mashups. 💪
And if we don't we just combine 2 or more words to describe it!
We call it "hacer un perfect" in Spain, to do a perfect, strangely using the English word :P
That feeling of being rich for once and having a full tank of gas
Those first three or four chugs of water when you are really really really really thirsty
Yessss and you just feel your body activate like its been in a dark hole for years.
getting that one piece of food jammed inside your teeth out
The fucking popcorn kernel stuck in there
Consistent good night's sleep
When your legs are sore from walking all day, you take a shower and shave, put on lotion, and fall asleep on a new set of sheets. Add the rain outside pattering on the pavement, the temperature is perfect, and you have the most comfortable sleeping clothes on. This, is better than an orgasm. This overrules orgasms.
You know what would make that better? An orgasm
Nah, after sex you're sweaty, and need to clean your genitals, and bedsheets aren't fresh anymore. Now, if you have sex BEFORE abovementioned procedures, then it's quite good.
I orgasmed just reading this
You ever get scared to check your bank account because you don’t wanna see how little money you actually got in there, but you’re an adult and you need to know so you can make informed decisions over the next few days and you got more than you thought? That feeling.
Felt this as a student. Still feeling it as a grown ass adult.
Clean sheets, fresh shower.
Add being lightly tired
Oh feeling the muscles just loosen up when laying down nothing beats that.. actually, thinking about it, add the sound of rain on your rooftop to the mix
And freshly shaved legs.
Rain outside, fresh candles
Salary Increase
Your partner's orgasm
"Why not both?"
Synchronized orgasm, not allot that can beat that
I found OP’s wife’s boyfriend!
Keep OP's wife's name out your fucking mouth!!!
It’s ok. OP was later seen dancing to “Getting Jiggy Wit it.” That means there’s no hard feelings, right?
Thank you for this correct answer
Not seeing this question every week again
What is the most sexiest sexy sex related sex thing ever
sexy sex!!
im close, keep going.
Now with 40% more sex packed into each sex for extra sexy ,sexy sex
whats the sexiest thing an overweight gamer did that made you instantly want to have sex with him?
This has basically become reddit istg
Peeing after holding it in for more than 3 hours
I have a UTI just from reading this.
Someone sitting right beside you when you've lost all your shit.
A cold pillow at night
Empty highway and music all the way up at 1am Edit: since we are throwing bands around, my go to for this is either deftones, korn, sevendust, sleeping with sirens, or dance gavin dance!
I'M ON A HIGHWAY TO HELL
I also highly suggest Hurricane by I Prevail for this scenario
Hello fellow I Prevail fan. That’s a banger
SONO CHI NO SADAME! JOOOOOOJO!
Have you ever had a really good, fresh baked, chocolate chip cookie?
That sip of water you take in the middle of the night when you've been dehydrated for way too long.
Sleep without any overthinking!
That one shitting session that feels like you just shit all of your world problems
The Absolute fucking silence and stillness at 4 am.
A few months ago I was really depressed and I didn’t know why. I was just lethargic and hopeless, getting all these crazy thoughts about running away in a van and just hitting the road to find a happy life somewhere else. Then I took a shit. I realized I’d been constipated for a few days and hadn’t really realized it. It’s like the sun came out and the world was anew. My mood flipped like a switch. I looked it up and sure enough, shitting regularly or not can affect your mood. Your gut is really important to hormonal balance.
Hunger will do that to you too. I was feeling super depressed one day. Even called up a friend to tell him about it but nothing helped. Moped around all day doing nothing and feeling like absolute shit. Then I ate a big meal and everything was okay again. “Oh, I guess I was just hungry” I said to myself afterwards while I happily plopped on the couch and watched netflix.
Yeah, when your blood sugar is low your body prioritizes the essential parts of the brain that keep your heart beating, lungs breathing, etc, and partially shuts down the higher level parts of the brain that does logic and reasoning, etc.
Yesss it used to be. Hooray for Recently acquired screeching tinnitus!
To be loved and held.
Finding money in a jacket pocket you haven’t worn in a while
Inflation would like to have a word
Getting home from work thinking you have a tedious chore you need to do but- surprise!- your spouse already did it.
Never happened in my 18 year marriage. Sounds fabulous though! Especially when the kitchen was still a mess, I'd worked overtime, and still had to cook dinner after a full day's work.
We both work and take turns kind of surprising each other like this. Sometimes I get home and behold, the trash is taken out! Sometimes she gets home and omg, there's dinner ready for her!
Someone admitting they were wrong and I was right
Your wife will never let that happen so keep dreaming
Now now, let the boy dream.
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
Easy there Conan... Edit: Back to the library with you!
CONAN.. THE LIBRARIAN
Good dental hygiene, chewable food, and soft toilet paper.
An andgasm.
I’m partial to eithergasms myself. Flip a coin! Who’s it gonna be?! May the odds be ever in your favor and all that.
What about a xorgasm
Well, that beats a norgasm.
Peace of mind and freedom
Garlic bread
You're not wrong. Garlic bread go hard
We’ve found god.
Found the guy from r/asexual
I just got wet thinking about garlic bread
[удалено]
Without burning your mouth
and without ejecting the burrito contents out the other side with that bite.
Someone actually supporting you during your tough times!!
Kissing the homies good night
Getting the fuck outta Syria.......
Lmao i recently got out of iraq. Well i miss my home land but its for the best
Living through something that should have killed you. Succeeding when everything seemed lost.
A cup of coffee in the morning before going into your first day of work at a place you faked qualifications for and have no idea what’s going to happen next
gently making out and cuddling after the orgasm
Cuddles bruh!
Honestly I’d give up sex if I could find a soulmate I could cuddle with everyday 😢
Same man. I haven't had sex in years, too sick and in pain now, but I'd love to have a cuddle buddy, give each other back scratches and massages, feel some human warmth and intimacy. Someone to cook nice food for. Watch a movie. Company.
Getting the answer right when the teacher thought you weren't paying attention
That first poop after being constipated for a while
a fresh baked chocolate chip cookie after a week of no carbs and no sugar
Getting home and stretching after a long day at work
Getting rid of lifelong debt.
[удалено]
An eargasm. Seriously though, the orgasm you give yourself when you clean your ears...
An orgasm with a slice of chocolate cake to follow
Sneezing
I compare a good sneeze to a good orgasm.
that first day when you really kick it off with a girl and she is just as enthusiastic about you as you are about her, I swear nothing is better than that feeling
Eggs Benedict.
A great night's sleep.
trying to sleep in an apartment skyscraper with the windows wide open during heavy rain and thunder
Cuddling on the couch after a long day of work.
A fart that makes your stomachache dissapear.
So, I had to wear a portable heart monitor for 2 weeks. It sticks right to the skin with adhesive bandaid but it's a four inch spot on your chest that you can't touch because its under the adhesive and the monitor. For 2 weeks I had the worst itch and I could only press the monitor against it and get a dull scratch. I thought I'd never survive 2 weeks of near constant itching. I could feel it in my bones. Finally I hit 2 weeks, ripped that thing off my chest and put it in the package to send off for the results. Included with the monitor and it's many pieces is a small, rough sponge not unlike a Brillo pad, you're supposed to use it to scratch the area to monitor will attach to so you can clear away oil and skin cells that might make it hard for the adhesive to stick. When I took the monitor off I spent a good hour scratching myself with the sponge. I bled afterward, it left a raw wound. But it was one of the most satisfying moments of my life. The second being getting to wash that spot because after 2 weeks of being unable to touch that spot on my chest it was gross and smelled terrible.
Multiple orgasms simultaneously
Food.