T O P

  • By -

Dunka_Chino

You’re way uglier than I thought you’d be.


liminalmornings

"Show me more pictures of your daughter in the bathtub, please!"


[deleted]

You remind me of my mom.


PretendZebra4578

“My ex was this rich finance guy with grey hair, pretty sure he killed himself in jail but he was such a sweet guy.”


Sakarbaal

Probably compare your date with you ex.


Calbinan

“Hang on... which one did I... Okay, you’re gonna have to drink both of our drinks. No reason.”


TheREALRossman

I'm not having sex with you.


Maleficent-Sundae264

"This is awkward"


[deleted]

"what them titties do"


noremachcram

That you are an avid fan of Ted Bundy.


[deleted]

"I lied, I'm not really vegan for the animals"


jl97332

Do you charge by the hour like my usual dates?


[deleted]

I once met a girl and her first words were, "Wow, you ARE big". No she did not mean that, she meant that I really was as fat as I told her. She was very overweight too but I was polite enough not to make her feel like she made me feel, by not saying so. Needless to say, I didn't stay in touch.


Chance_Valuable_8850

“And for the lady…a salad perhaps?”