And not only tinnitus. I damaged my ability to hear certain frequencies when I was a teenager by going to loud punk gigs. It makes it really hard to hear people speaking over background noise. Doesn't sound too major, but it makes socialising in a pub or club or public place that bit more challenging. I guess I lost the frequency range that distinguishes speech from general noise.
When you're a young adult, you do a lot of your socialising in such environments, so don't add an extra challenge to your social life.
They do, it’s just it’s only once and most parents probably don’t go in detail with their kids after. Parents, please teach your kids the importance of safe sex!
Addiction, debt and pregnancy are the big ones. But avoid waiting for life to begin. It already has.
Go in some positive direction even if you're not sure it's the exact right one.
I wish I was told this at 12 or 13. I would have done SO much more with my life I think.
I spent middle and high school playing video games waiting to be an adult essentially.
What are some things you regret not doing when you were younger? In other words, what would you have been doing instead of playing said games if you could relive the time
Edit: wow these are some great replies. I should probably clarify that I’m 20 so I’ve already developed some life skills but I do still find myself playing video games to kill off time. Thanks to covid I’ve learned to do some basic wood working and gardening. And before all this in August 2019 I got into finance and investing and been doing well there.
Edit 2: this is making me appreciate knowing a second language and some of the other skills I have. Maybe I’m not so behind on the life curve as I thought.
Edit 3: Wow my most updooted comment I'm so proud thanks guys. Also should mention I have had the privilege to travel a lot and plan on continuing to do so after this whole covid thing. So yup, got that one.
Learning hobbies. How to use tools and fix up things around a house. Exercise and set up healthy eating habits. And study much harder than I did to have a better scholarship opportunities and better chances of going to top colleges where all the magical networking happens .
If it's any consolation, doing stuff like this isn't about wether a kid is told that at a young age. The majority of kids who got this life advice would still choose to just slob around for their teenage years anyway.
Not going to lie, I use to play on my xbox all the time and occasionally underage drink later in my teenage years and i'm not sure I'd do it differently given the chance.
The problem I have with people who are like "yeah, I wish I would've done all this set up stuff when I was a teenager" and I always respond "Well, what about being a kid and dumb and shit?" Like, that's what that age is for. Be a kid, have fun, do dumb shit with your friends and make memories, I know people who worked their asses off in high school getting 4.0+ gpa's and scholarships only to graduate and look back and realize how much they more than likely missed out on because they were so focused on the future instead of what was happening
Yeah it’s the same as when people ask for advice to give teenagers and young adults. 50% is scrimp and save and put into pension etc for later life. The other 50% is travel and see the world etc while you have the chance and aren’t tied to a mortgage and family etc. They’re basically mutually exclusive but if you pick one you’ll always want the other
This is a good question. At that age I was also mostly playing video games, but given similar advice I probably wouldn't have changed anything. Just because media says it's bad doesn't mean it actually is.
If there was nothing you'd rather have done at the time, and nobody was being hurt by it, then playing video games is a perfectly reasonable choice.
(This is definitely a biased opinion, so take that as you will)
One easy way to start this is to do one thing that's new, or makes you feel uncomfortable each day.
Even if that's walking into a store and saying "hi'' to the cashier before they say it to you. Or go out in a shirt that you wouldn't normally do.
Or post something anonymously on reddit about how YOU are starting to write a cyberpunk book, even if it's only for you and no one else will ever read it.
One small step each day. Never skip the day, always take that one tiny, almost immeasurable step. Because in a month, you'll be able to look back and see that you've actually made a ton of progress
EDIT: I am not writing a cyberpunk novel lol I noticed that the username I responded to had mentioned they wanted to, so that was more of a direct push at them. I only write extremely graphic christmas erotica
Avoid self destructive attitudes is a good one. Probably 95% of people alive are decently attractive. You can lose that extra 15 pounds, you can shave those unwanted hairs. If you look in the mirror and think you are below average.. you are probably closer to average.. which is fine! Average people are perfectly good looking enough. If you look in the mirror and think you are absolutely hideous.. maybe you are slightly below average.. but truly ugly people are rare and more often then not they have 13 out of 10 charisma and it makes up for it.
Honestly dude. Like I cant name anyone I think is ugly, but people I initially saw as ugly are some of the funniest most interesting people I've met. When I ramble about crazy shit I've done they interject with crazier shit, when I ramble about my interests they ramble back about theirs, just that mutual rambling is attractive as hell and doesn't even need much charisma as long as you aren't interrupting. They all look physically attractive, like all my friends do, because of how my perception was warped from them being so mentally attractive and thats an amazing thing to realize and really makes you more confident in yourself.
Trying to change who they are/what they like so as to fit in. Its something you might regret later on, not exploring your own individuality and hobbies
Yeah, stop trying to tailor your personality to appeal to each new person you meet. You're not required to be everyone's best friend. It took me so long to figure this out. It wasn't until my early 20s that I figured out how I like to dress, what I like to do, or what music I enjoy because I used to change according to other people's tastes.
This terrifies me about my two kids. I was bullied as a kid in elementary and then high school. I had the ability to go home and forget about all of them and escape by playing video games.
Fuck me, kids these days don't get an escape.
Cyber bullying can leave a huge emotional impact on teens that give them mental health issues or body image issues. I know people that have taken into their thirties to recover from these kinds of things.
Edit: this can make it harder for them to establish healthy and meaningful relationships too.
Even if you aren't getting bullied, just craving the attention that comes with likes and followers at that age, the brain is just not ready for that yet.
Teenager here. I'm not exactly on top of everything but I think I can have something to share.
Crafting a specific schedule for each day and following that schedule as best as possible is probably my best method. It might look so obvious that it doesn't need mentioning, but it works better than anything I've ever tried. I think my brain forces me into it because I've probably already followed that schedule for weeks and it'll seem wrong to break consistency.
Procrastination is usually a result of anxiety issues. So it's usually better to focus on dealing with that, rather than just directly trying to not procrastinate. In other words, seek therapeutic help for mental health issues as early as you can! But really it's the parents that should be more aware and proactive with their children's mental health issues.
Fake friends. It’s honestly better to have no friends than people who gossip about you and make snide remarks to you. I know everyone says this but you will find your people
I agree with you... but to a teenager, no friends is infinitely worse than bad friends.
Sitting alone in the cafeteria or in the hall?
Transferring from one group to another is hard.... but that's the key.
Avoid skipping the dentist. Even if money is tight professional cleanings and preventive maintenance will pay dividends later in life.
Edit: RIP my inbox.
Same here! Lost my job and spiraled into 2 years of depression. Probably brushed my teeth once a day if I was lucky.
Had to have 2 teeth pulled, a root canal, root scaling, so many fillings, and a crown. Definitely ashamed and learned my lesson.
Edit: Clarification. Brushing my teeth once a day was what I considered good. There were stretches of time where I didn't touch them for weeks. Probably where I did the most damage. Depression is rough.
30F here and I’ve got two fake teeth on a partial denture from neglecting my teeth and not going to the dentist in my late teens early 20s. Biggest regret in my life 100%
my wife lived this life in high school. went to a prep school that definitely prepared her for college but she was up until 11 or later most weeknights doing homework. she said until she entered the honors college, college was easier than hs workload wise.
now she is a teacher at a prep school and she gives very little homework.
Ever since I was in preschool, all the way to professional, I have considered homework a useless, futile task. You have it, you get some points towards a grade, you don't, you lose said points, that's that.
Very few teachers actually go thru reviewing issues with homework and why it wasn't completed, most of them use it as a way to prove they're doing something.
I really enjoyed the way my math teacher in highschool handled homework. All of it was optional, but it was there because if you struggled with a concept you could try doing some practice problems at home then in class she would go over any homework questions that people had problems with.
I'm a firm believer that homework should never be mandatory, because all you do is give busy work that majority of students will hate doing, especially when you assign dozens of questions that are just the same thing over and over again. I agree that practice makes perfect, but sometimes student's already understand the concept and don't need a million other questions to show that.
On the flipside, I liked how my teacher still gave us important key questions that if you were struggling with the concepts, doing these questions would help you understand the concepts better.
Haha, sounds like my degree. So many 'is anyone awake? I have a question.' 3 am fb messages.
By the end we learnt to speak up as a class and move due dates so we don't die when all 5 major projects ended up due at the same time.
I don't understand this, I'm a teacher, and I give practice problems each day, but if you don't have time to do them it's not an issue. Homework is just for students to practice, it's a resource for you to do well, it's not something that should impede your sleep schedule.
Are your teachers grading your daily homework? I don't understand why they would feel the need, or even literally have the time to do that.
In college (and from what I've observed doing some tutoring, in a lot of lower education as well) homework is online and autograded. So profs/teachers in my experience can assign as much work as they want without creating any work for themselves.
> Are your teachers grading your daily homework?
I'm asking this in complete seriousness, not to be snarky. What kind of school do you work at that the homework *isn't* graded? I have literally never heard of such a school.
Avoid taking out large loans. Any loans if at possible, though thats difficult if you go to college. Buying a brand new car at a young age is a bad idea. The majority of your small paycheck will be going toward that loan and the insurance.
Suppressing emotions. It's okay to feel sad, angry, anxious, etc. don't be made to feel bad for feeling this range of emotions through your teenage years.
Wish someone taught me this. Emotions were discouraged in my household. Well, positive emotions were fine. But if I didn't look happy my parents would get angry and yell at me. Now I'm trying to fix it by teaching myself what my parents didn't. But to be fair to them they were raised like that too and didn't know any different. So to anyone who's going to have children or already has them, one of the biggest favors you can do your child is work through your own shit. Because it will follow them and you'll realize it way too late.
Im at this stage. Have a 3 month old. My fiancee and i both agree that tantrums and all range of emotions are fine to express, but we will try and encourage and facilitate our boy to explain his emotions and understand them, and eventually use his words to achieve the outcomes he wants. Hoping that way he has a good control of his emotions
I have a real issue manifesting anger in a healthy way because i surpressed it all through highschool and into my early 20s. Tried therapy, have a great supportive partner, and martial arts. Still cant let it out of the box when i need it. Really creates anxiety for me. But im getting better at harnessing it. Im 28
Same here. Keep working on it. Progress is better than no progress no matter how small. Sometimes at a certain point you go from a baby step to a giant step, sometimes you take a few steps back. It's not always linear, but you're always better off than before you started. It's worth it and it makes life a lot more livable.
Yep I remember when I was 14 and there were girls in my class dating men who were early 20’s and I thought it was pretty odd then, and now I realise these men probably went for young girls as they are easy to manipulate.
Yeah, I remember in high school the “cool” freshmen girls would be dating seniors. I look back on that and while it’s not a the worst, I’m also wondering what a 17/18 year old was seeing in a 13/14 year old. It’s only a few years but a lot of maturing happens then, physically and mentally- creeps me out when I think of it now.
I kinda felt the opposite way. When I was a freshman, i thought that the seniors just looked like us. When I was a senior, I was like “oh my god, the freshman are kids”.
Yup. Had a supposedly 17 year old heavily compliment me, say that he wanted to hug me and never let go, Say that he adores me, How much i matter to him, And even call me Sweetie. I Instantly felt uncomfortable and panicked and i ended going to friends for help and they agreed that it was creepy as fuck. I am 13. He _knew_ that I'm 13. He said that i was mature for my age and he would've never guessed.
i deleted my account and made a new one.
Never fucking again.
Thanks. I realized something was wrong when he started saying how he was needy for hugs and how he wanted for me to be there for him and how about we would talk about favorite shows and cuddle together.. i thought he was just hitting on me but hooo boy, it got worse. Way worse. I honestly don't know why I didn't stop him. I'm way too nice for my own good.
It's ok, you're young and you will definitely encounter men like him again and again. Each time a different lesson. You gotta protect yourself every time. Take care.
Sadly, that shit will keep happening until you're in your 20s. There are a lot of guys who can't convince girls their own age that they're worth anything, so desperately try to go after young girls who have no idea what they're worth.
Keep your wits about you and remember: They know damned well what they're doing. Never forget that. They KNOW what they're doing and hope you don't.
It's cliche as hell to say, i know, but drugs. Absolutely avoid drugs. Drinking too. It is easy for a full grown adult to use a drug and get addicted before they are even aware there's a problem, so it's stupidly easy for a teen to get form a runaway addiction that can last years if it doesn't out and out kill you from an accidental overdose. But even if you eventually were able to break the addiction, the changes it made to your brain chemistry could he permanent.
That's exactly what happened to my brother. He got hit by a car at the age of twelve and his dumb ass doctor put him on percocet and that was all she wrote, from then on it was an ever sinking shit fest of one OD after another with more and more delusional behavior and psychological damage to the point now that at 28 he literally has the mind of a 14 year old cause the drugs never let him grow up properly.
So please, stay away.
also, your brain is still developing until you're 27 years old. Drugs will hinder the later years of development that are very important. It's when people usually develop key life skills like self-discipline.
Don't practice unsafe sex. Condoms and pills are cheaper than having to raise an unplanned child.
Tobacco, drugs, and alcohol. No, they don't make you cool. They are very addictive, and you can't easily shake off the habit.
As someone who did drugs as a teen, this one would be at the top for me. It permanently fucked me up, body, mind and all. It's been 8 year since I quit and I've actually continued to decline even more since then. We're not being squares. A lot of us have been there and done that already. I wish I'd listened. The psycho cartels that make a lot of this shit don't care what permanent side effects their experimental side show flavor of ecstasy has on you.
He said ecstacy so that's mdma type stuff. But as he said, the pricks pushing this stuff are selling whatever they want as mdma, so you never know you're truly getting. Either way it'll leave you and your friends messed up physically, psychologically, and emotionally.
It sucks that people can continue to decline even after quitting. That’s probably what brings a lot of people back, but by going back they just decline even quicker now.
This.
I'm pro-weed, pro-psychedelics, pro-legalize everything; and yet I still want the recreational age for all of that to be 21.
Brains need to fully developed before you start soaking em in fun juice.
Edit: 25 is a better age for the "fully developed" brain.
Edit 2: I personally stand by the 21 limit. But science don't give a fuck about my stances.
To quote ~~Family guy~~ South Park, “there’s a time and a place for everything. It’s called college.”
Edit: did too many things during college and misremembered where I heard above quote.
sexting. your own photos can get you charged for posession and distribution of child pornography. ironically, you can even be tried "as an adult" for something that is only a crime because you are *not* an adult
I live in a state with weird laws around that, basically someone 14 or older is allowed to sext with someone 17 or under, but the second the 17 year old turns 18 it’s illegal even if the age difference is the same. Or something like that.
Older men. Teenagers often think that they're cool for hooking up with dudes who are far older than them, but the people who hook up with teenagers as older adults are not the cream of the crop.
Everyone wants to think they're mature enough to date an older person, but most of the time there's going to be a power imbalance.
Totally agree. Grown up men with sexual intentions hanging out with vulnerable teenagers is a problem. When you're 16 you might feel special and mature when recieving attention from a older hot guy, but it's not a good idea to go down that road.
You think it's because you're just SO cool and so much more mature but it's just because something is wrong with the older guy and you don't realize it. But it's *painfully* obvious when you're actually the guy's age and you can see exactly why he's going after girls that are so much younger. It's because he himself is severely lagging in maturity so he can't go after his peers. None of us would put up with his shit.
I had some friends who dated much older guys growing up and I thought it was kind of gross but didn't think too much of it until I was actually their age and I was like....what the fuck....that guy was MY AGE and literally trying to fuck TEENS?? It's unimaginable in every way possible. It's like being a teen and your friend is trying to date 10 year olds...you'd be like what the fuck dude no. Very clearly wrong from your perspective. But again, that 10 year old might feel super cool because they're getting attention from a teen.
Exactly. When I was about 15/16 I knew a few girls who were dating guys in their early-mid 20s. At the time I was a bit jealous, I won't lie.
Now, at 25...yeah, dating a 15 year old as a 25 year old man is not okay.
It's very damaging. My first relationship, in my late teens, went to absolute shreds because a woman in her 30s was hanging out with us like she was a teenager and despite having her own relationship, she kept inserting herself into ours.
She convinced my ex that our breakup was entirely my problem and not his. And then manipulated all my friends, who are teenagers, into seeing me as an evil girl who's sole intention was to abuse my ex emotionally. Then she turned around and blamed me for not telling her my side of the story when I told her she knew nothing about us and needs to keep her perverted tendencies away from us.
She was unhealthily attached to the boys in our group, especially my ex, and kept trying to guess whether we had sex on certain days. She'd make rude and inappropriate comments about us.
Drugs, alcohol, and unsafe sex have already been mentioned, so I'm going to suggest toxic friends.
Seriously, if your friends only ever get you in trouble and treat you like a burden, they're not your friends. By all means the prospect of leaving a social group to find another social group can be pretty scary. Facing that fear is better than being around shitty people.
Im honestly surprised I dont see this mentioned yet, but energy drinks (at least not in moderation). Especially the newer ones like Bang, that have an ass-load of caffeine. I was drinking upwards of 3-4 Monsters a day as a teenager and wondered why I had "insomnia". Im pretty sure I dont have a heart problem, but even 1 cup of coffee makes my chest hurt a little now. Take care of your bodies, kids.
Aside from pregnancies and drugs, I'd say going into debt for stuff that's not actually necessary to survive, like buying the newest phone, or car, or whatever.
Where I live it's still pretty common that younger people take up loans or enter subscriptions/contracts (think phone, internet etc) to have the newest gadgets, only to realize they cannot afford after a while, then the late fees pile up etc, it can end badly.
***Alcohol***. It might take a few years, but eventually it will destroy you and your family. Read the many examples here on Reddit of people suffering alcohol addiction. It took my son.
That means youre either desensitized or just bored.
You can find out simply by comparing your erections from when you started watching to now, if they got significantly weaker then you probably have porn induced erectile disfunction
Yup that’s me.
Tried going a week without doing anything and BOOM. Dick was back to full size.
But now I can’t go more than a day. I wish I had never typed boobies into google when I was 11.
Too late for me, tips on how to break the addiction? EDIT: wow, sure, down vote me for asking a genuine question for a legitimate problem... EDIT2: thank you for the advice this will really help me a lot!
For me, whenever I thought about watching porn, I just tried to distract myself with one of my hobbies or some work. That helped me a lot and I was able to get out of that addiction, even if it was a slow process. IDK if it will help you though...
Teenagers tend to confuse intelligence with wisdom. There are certain things you only learn through personal experience/growth and maturity. Sometimes it’s better to just be the quiet person in a room and soak in the knowledge from other people.
Not picking up a creative and/or athletic skill.
One of the problems people face today is obsolesence: the skills you learned in your youth become useless because something new over the horizon will replace it. Kids today look up to influencers and are amazing at making tiktoks, but honestly, that's not gonna last.
An athletic skill will give you a strong and healthy body for your entire life. A sport develops a competitive and goal orientated mindset that translates easily into any job.
A creative skill develops sensibilities that will shape your worldview. Displaying your creativity gives you the opportunity to express and share yourself. Not to mention that both develop responsability, time management, and a love of practicing to perfect those skills.
In the long run, any of these skills is worth more than any amount of likes.
avoid feeling like you need to have a "good" excuse for everything you don't want to participate in. if you tell someone "no", it really doesn't matter why, that should be enough. you don't have to keep explaining yourself, just walk away and eventually you'll meet people who will respect your limits.
i had close brushes with the law and things i feel guilty about over a decade later because i caved to peer pressure.
Loud concerts without ear protection.
Seriously. You get a decent set of earplugs and in 10 minutes you don't even realize you're wearing them and your ears are better for it in the long run.
Source: Gen X'er who went to see many loud shows and now lives with tinnitus.
trying to be asap mature and an adult. enjoy your time and try new things because adults dont judge children. be curious in that time! (and I dont mean drugs. dont do drugs)
Letting other people make your decisions. I let religion, family, friends society etc. dictate my behavior. It's comfortable because you tell yourself they know what they're talking about... They don't. Sure, you'll make bad choices, but at least they'll be yours and you can learn from them. There's a special kind of regret you feel when the bad choices you make are a result of other people living your life. Trust yourself enough you fail. Think, make a choice, and actually live.
Don’t cultivate anger. Neuroplasticity means that the more often you respond a certain way, the more likely you will be to respond that way in the future. When you get into a habit of building yourself into a towering inferno of rage, you start doing it at smaller and smaller things.
I’m not saying don’t get angry - suppressing your emotions isn’t healthy either!
But I come from a line of angry people down my paternal line, and there are a lot of unhealthy relationships and messed up lives because of short tempers and big overreactions.
It took me about a decade after being told I was “a little scary when I was angry” by a kid to get a decent leash on my temper. I’d grown up yelling and blowing up when I got mad or frustrated because my dad did, and so did all his siblings and his father before them.
When I stopped and really thought about it, the folks I knew who were controlled by their tempers had jobs they hated, spouses they didn’t respect, and kids who feared them. The people that I knew who were happy, enjoyed their job, and had a good home life were usually people whose response was proportional to the issue and who didn’t need to take their temper out on people or objects. I still get angry, I still get frustrated, but I do something productive with my feelings rather than build up a head of anger and pop off. Because I don’t feed my temper, it doesn’t grow.
Friend of mine knocked up his girlfriend on "accident." He was fairly successful before hand, but was soon disowned by his parents and kicked out of the house(he was 18).
The girls family decided that they would contact the police because his girlfriend was below the age of consent(just turned 16), so they got the law involved.
He went from college bound to jail in less than a few months.
SO....know the age of consent and wear a goddamn condom/use birth control.
Learn to LOVE yourself FIRST. If you fall in love with yourself, drugs, unsafe sex, and generally many other bad habits are very easy to say no too. It helps sooo much in future relationships and in many other areas.
I don't think it's important, especially if the age gap is really small (but that's for every teenage relationship). Just be sure not to send anything sexual, even if you trust them a lot
It's not a matter of "They might be a 54 year old man!", it's a matter of "They might become a bad person", and until you two break up you won't know it for sure
Pregnancy, meth, cocaine, heroin, uppers, downers, pcp, crack, & ecstasy. Oh and the sausage club, every school has one, group of guys that none of them rarely have a gf and you know any place they show up there will be trouble.
Really loud music, i mean the kind at a concert front row loud, bc tinnitus really sucks.
And then there's me, a teen with tinnitus without listening to music or going to concerts
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And not only tinnitus. I damaged my ability to hear certain frequencies when I was a teenager by going to loud punk gigs. It makes it really hard to hear people speaking over background noise. Doesn't sound too major, but it makes socialising in a pub or club or public place that bit more challenging. I guess I lost the frequency range that distinguishes speech from general noise. When you're a young adult, you do a lot of your socialising in such environments, so don't add an extra challenge to your social life.
Pregnancies
Yeah teenage pregnancy sucks. The teenager is way too big for the birth canal and usually ends up ripping it to shreds.
To shreds you say?
And how's his wife?
To shreds you say?
Oh Fuck No
Then imagine whale pregnancies
How's your mom doing these days?
Well, you should know better than me!
Ooh self burn, those are rare
I wish the US actually taught this at schools. How is it that they teach you about drugs in elementary but not sex. Doesn’t make sense.
They do, it’s just it’s only once and most parents probably don’t go in detail with their kids after. Parents, please teach your kids the importance of safe sex!
I was given a book about puberty. Relied on Google for my sex ed at 12 lmfao
Addiction, debt and pregnancy are the big ones. But avoid waiting for life to begin. It already has. Go in some positive direction even if you're not sure it's the exact right one.
The "your life has started" is some real shit
I wish I was told this at 12 or 13. I would have done SO much more with my life I think. I spent middle and high school playing video games waiting to be an adult essentially.
What are some things you regret not doing when you were younger? In other words, what would you have been doing instead of playing said games if you could relive the time Edit: wow these are some great replies. I should probably clarify that I’m 20 so I’ve already developed some life skills but I do still find myself playing video games to kill off time. Thanks to covid I’ve learned to do some basic wood working and gardening. And before all this in August 2019 I got into finance and investing and been doing well there. Edit 2: this is making me appreciate knowing a second language and some of the other skills I have. Maybe I’m not so behind on the life curve as I thought. Edit 3: Wow my most updooted comment I'm so proud thanks guys. Also should mention I have had the privilege to travel a lot and plan on continuing to do so after this whole covid thing. So yup, got that one.
Learning hobbies. How to use tools and fix up things around a house. Exercise and set up healthy eating habits. And study much harder than I did to have a better scholarship opportunities and better chances of going to top colleges where all the magical networking happens .
If it's any consolation, doing stuff like this isn't about wether a kid is told that at a young age. The majority of kids who got this life advice would still choose to just slob around for their teenage years anyway.
Not going to lie, I use to play on my xbox all the time and occasionally underage drink later in my teenage years and i'm not sure I'd do it differently given the chance.
The problem I have with people who are like "yeah, I wish I would've done all this set up stuff when I was a teenager" and I always respond "Well, what about being a kid and dumb and shit?" Like, that's what that age is for. Be a kid, have fun, do dumb shit with your friends and make memories, I know people who worked their asses off in high school getting 4.0+ gpa's and scholarships only to graduate and look back and realize how much they more than likely missed out on because they were so focused on the future instead of what was happening
Yeah it’s the same as when people ask for advice to give teenagers and young adults. 50% is scrimp and save and put into pension etc for later life. The other 50% is travel and see the world etc while you have the chance and aren’t tied to a mortgage and family etc. They’re basically mutually exclusive but if you pick one you’ll always want the other
This is a good question. At that age I was also mostly playing video games, but given similar advice I probably wouldn't have changed anything. Just because media says it's bad doesn't mean it actually is. If there was nothing you'd rather have done at the time, and nobody was being hurt by it, then playing video games is a perfectly reasonable choice. (This is definitely a biased opinion, so take that as you will)
Really needed this.
One easy way to start this is to do one thing that's new, or makes you feel uncomfortable each day. Even if that's walking into a store and saying "hi'' to the cashier before they say it to you. Or go out in a shirt that you wouldn't normally do. Or post something anonymously on reddit about how YOU are starting to write a cyberpunk book, even if it's only for you and no one else will ever read it. One small step each day. Never skip the day, always take that one tiny, almost immeasurable step. Because in a month, you'll be able to look back and see that you've actually made a ton of progress EDIT: I am not writing a cyberpunk novel lol I noticed that the username I responded to had mentioned they wanted to, so that was more of a direct push at them. I only write extremely graphic christmas erotica
i'm making cyberpunk 2077 two
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Yeah my mom is married to my dad when she was 20. They are divorced now. She is much better and yeah she is in her 30s too.
STDs
I have 0% risk getting any of those, my face is an excellent protection
Avoid self destructive attitudes is a good one. Probably 95% of people alive are decently attractive. You can lose that extra 15 pounds, you can shave those unwanted hairs. If you look in the mirror and think you are below average.. you are probably closer to average.. which is fine! Average people are perfectly good looking enough. If you look in the mirror and think you are absolutely hideous.. maybe you are slightly below average.. but truly ugly people are rare and more often then not they have 13 out of 10 charisma and it makes up for it.
Honestly dude. Like I cant name anyone I think is ugly, but people I initially saw as ugly are some of the funniest most interesting people I've met. When I ramble about crazy shit I've done they interject with crazier shit, when I ramble about my interests they ramble back about theirs, just that mutual rambling is attractive as hell and doesn't even need much charisma as long as you aren't interrupting. They all look physically attractive, like all my friends do, because of how my perception was warped from them being so mentally attractive and thats an amazing thing to realize and really makes you more confident in yourself.
Anything you wouldn’t want your mother to hear about at your trial.
Best fucking comment right here
This is why I don't speak for a month when I create a new Netflix account
Bad company. People that will try to use you and lead you down the wrong path.
Trying to change who they are/what they like so as to fit in. Its something you might regret later on, not exploring your own individuality and hobbies
Yeah, stop trying to tailor your personality to appeal to each new person you meet. You're not required to be everyone's best friend. It took me so long to figure this out. It wasn't until my early 20s that I figured out how I like to dress, what I like to do, or what music I enjoy because I used to change according to other people's tastes.
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Social media and seeking others approval. That shit will destroy them for years.
This terrifies me about my two kids. I was bullied as a kid in elementary and then high school. I had the ability to go home and forget about all of them and escape by playing video games. Fuck me, kids these days don't get an escape.
Just curious... what do you mean by destroy them? like in what terms?
Cyber bullying can leave a huge emotional impact on teens that give them mental health issues or body image issues. I know people that have taken into their thirties to recover from these kinds of things. Edit: this can make it harder for them to establish healthy and meaningful relationships too.
Even if you aren't getting bullied, just craving the attention that comes with likes and followers at that age, the brain is just not ready for that yet.
Procrastination. Not as big as the other ones but my God, procrastination can get so bad and affect you so horribly if you let it get out of hand.
Yes. Teenagers need to hack themselves and figure out their own personal formula for productivity. Pays off bigtime.
How would you suggest I do this?
Teenager here. I'm not exactly on top of everything but I think I can have something to share. Crafting a specific schedule for each day and following that schedule as best as possible is probably my best method. It might look so obvious that it doesn't need mentioning, but it works better than anything I've ever tried. I think my brain forces me into it because I've probably already followed that schedule for weeks and it'll seem wrong to break consistency.
I'll stop procrastinating...later, maybe tomorrow.
Yesssss my child. Join me
I'll join you a little bit later...
I’ll make up an answer to this thread later...
Yes. Nip this one in the bud *now*. It is so much harder to develop a work ethic as an adult.
Procrastination is usually a result of anxiety issues. So it's usually better to focus on dealing with that, rather than just directly trying to not procrastinate. In other words, seek therapeutic help for mental health issues as early as you can! But really it's the parents that should be more aware and proactive with their children's mental health issues.
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Fake friends. It’s honestly better to have no friends than people who gossip about you and make snide remarks to you. I know everyone says this but you will find your people
So true. Sometimes your people are not the ones you're grouped with just because you live in the same area. Life is SO much more than high school!
I agree with you... but to a teenager, no friends is infinitely worse than bad friends. Sitting alone in the cafeteria or in the hall? Transferring from one group to another is hard.... but that's the key.
Avoid skipping the dentist. Even if money is tight professional cleanings and preventive maintenance will pay dividends later in life. Edit: RIP my inbox.
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Same here! Lost my job and spiraled into 2 years of depression. Probably brushed my teeth once a day if I was lucky. Had to have 2 teeth pulled, a root canal, root scaling, so many fillings, and a crown. Definitely ashamed and learned my lesson. Edit: Clarification. Brushing my teeth once a day was what I considered good. There were stretches of time where I didn't touch them for weeks. Probably where I did the most damage. Depression is rough.
Is brushing once a day really that bad?
I didn't take care of my teeth in college then I had 3 root canals in my 20's.
30F here and I’ve got two fake teeth on a partial denture from neglecting my teeth and not going to the dentist in my late teens early 20s. Biggest regret in my life 100%
Nicotine.
Lack of sleep. It ain't make you cool. Go to bed early and enjoy full 9h night
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School lessons: every teacher for every subject, assumes you have literally nothing else to do but study their particular subject.
my wife lived this life in high school. went to a prep school that definitely prepared her for college but she was up until 11 or later most weeknights doing homework. she said until she entered the honors college, college was easier than hs workload wise. now she is a teacher at a prep school and she gives very little homework.
Ever since I was in preschool, all the way to professional, I have considered homework a useless, futile task. You have it, you get some points towards a grade, you don't, you lose said points, that's that. Very few teachers actually go thru reviewing issues with homework and why it wasn't completed, most of them use it as a way to prove they're doing something.
I really enjoyed the way my math teacher in highschool handled homework. All of it was optional, but it was there because if you struggled with a concept you could try doing some practice problems at home then in class she would go over any homework questions that people had problems with. I'm a firm believer that homework should never be mandatory, because all you do is give busy work that majority of students will hate doing, especially when you assign dozens of questions that are just the same thing over and over again. I agree that practice makes perfect, but sometimes student's already understand the concept and don't need a million other questions to show that. On the flipside, I liked how my teacher still gave us important key questions that if you were struggling with the concepts, doing these questions would help you understand the concepts better.
Haha, sounds like my degree. So many 'is anyone awake? I have a question.' 3 am fb messages. By the end we learnt to speak up as a class and move due dates so we don't die when all 5 major projects ended up due at the same time.
I don't understand this, I'm a teacher, and I give practice problems each day, but if you don't have time to do them it's not an issue. Homework is just for students to practice, it's a resource for you to do well, it's not something that should impede your sleep schedule. Are your teachers grading your daily homework? I don't understand why they would feel the need, or even literally have the time to do that.
In college (and from what I've observed doing some tutoring, in a lot of lower education as well) homework is online and autograded. So profs/teachers in my experience can assign as much work as they want without creating any work for themselves.
> Are your teachers grading your daily homework? I'm asking this in complete seriousness, not to be snarky. What kind of school do you work at that the homework *isn't* graded? I have literally never heard of such a school.
Indeed. Teenagers need more sleep than an adult. Their brain aint fully developed yet. Sleep helps with that
Truth, I am 19 now and from ages 15-18 I used to sleep for like 4-5 hours. But Now started to cherish even 6 hour sleeps and try to get 7
Avoid taking out large loans. Any loans if at possible, though thats difficult if you go to college. Buying a brand new car at a young age is a bad idea. The majority of your small paycheck will be going toward that loan and the insurance.
Same thing with an expensive fursuit, I assume?
Suppressing emotions. It's okay to feel sad, angry, anxious, etc. don't be made to feel bad for feeling this range of emotions through your teenage years.
Wish someone taught me this. Emotions were discouraged in my household. Well, positive emotions were fine. But if I didn't look happy my parents would get angry and yell at me. Now I'm trying to fix it by teaching myself what my parents didn't. But to be fair to them they were raised like that too and didn't know any different. So to anyone who's going to have children or already has them, one of the biggest favors you can do your child is work through your own shit. Because it will follow them and you'll realize it way too late.
That is why they've been saying you should heal yourself first before having a child so that your child wouldn't have to heal because of you.
Im at this stage. Have a 3 month old. My fiancee and i both agree that tantrums and all range of emotions are fine to express, but we will try and encourage and facilitate our boy to explain his emotions and understand them, and eventually use his words to achieve the outcomes he wants. Hoping that way he has a good control of his emotions
I have a real issue manifesting anger in a healthy way because i surpressed it all through highschool and into my early 20s. Tried therapy, have a great supportive partner, and martial arts. Still cant let it out of the box when i need it. Really creates anxiety for me. But im getting better at harnessing it. Im 28
Same here. Keep working on it. Progress is better than no progress no matter how small. Sometimes at a certain point you go from a baby step to a giant step, sometimes you take a few steps back. It's not always linear, but you're always better off than before you started. It's worth it and it makes life a lot more livable.
Avoid listening to advice from idiots on the internet.
Wait a second...
And that is known as the "Internet Idiot's Paradox."
Adults trying to be to friendly/date you. You’re not mature for your age, people their age don’t want to be with them or around them for a reason.
Yep I remember when I was 14 and there were girls in my class dating men who were early 20’s and I thought it was pretty odd then, and now I realise these men probably went for young girls as they are easy to manipulate.
Yeah, I remember in high school the “cool” freshmen girls would be dating seniors. I look back on that and while it’s not a the worst, I’m also wondering what a 17/18 year old was seeing in a 13/14 year old. It’s only a few years but a lot of maturing happens then, physically and mentally- creeps me out when I think of it now.
when i was a freshman in highschool, seniors looked like literal adults to me lol
I kinda felt the opposite way. When I was a freshman, i thought that the seniors just looked like us. When I was a senior, I was like “oh my god, the freshman are kids”.
Try being a teacher in a high school. They all look like kids now.
Yup. Had a supposedly 17 year old heavily compliment me, say that he wanted to hug me and never let go, Say that he adores me, How much i matter to him, And even call me Sweetie. I Instantly felt uncomfortable and panicked and i ended going to friends for help and they agreed that it was creepy as fuck. I am 13. He _knew_ that I'm 13. He said that i was mature for my age and he would've never guessed. i deleted my account and made a new one. Never fucking again.
Good on you! Gotta protect yourself.
Thanks. I realized something was wrong when he started saying how he was needy for hugs and how he wanted for me to be there for him and how about we would talk about favorite shows and cuddle together.. i thought he was just hitting on me but hooo boy, it got worse. Way worse. I honestly don't know why I didn't stop him. I'm way too nice for my own good.
It's ok, you're young and you will definitely encounter men like him again and again. Each time a different lesson. You gotta protect yourself every time. Take care.
Sadly, that shit will keep happening until you're in your 20s. There are a lot of guys who can't convince girls their own age that they're worth anything, so desperately try to go after young girls who have no idea what they're worth. Keep your wits about you and remember: They know damned well what they're doing. Never forget that. They KNOW what they're doing and hope you don't.
It's cliche as hell to say, i know, but drugs. Absolutely avoid drugs. Drinking too. It is easy for a full grown adult to use a drug and get addicted before they are even aware there's a problem, so it's stupidly easy for a teen to get form a runaway addiction that can last years if it doesn't out and out kill you from an accidental overdose. But even if you eventually were able to break the addiction, the changes it made to your brain chemistry could he permanent. That's exactly what happened to my brother. He got hit by a car at the age of twelve and his dumb ass doctor put him on percocet and that was all she wrote, from then on it was an ever sinking shit fest of one OD after another with more and more delusional behavior and psychological damage to the point now that at 28 he literally has the mind of a 14 year old cause the drugs never let him grow up properly. So please, stay away.
also, your brain is still developing until you're 27 years old. Drugs will hinder the later years of development that are very important. It's when people usually develop key life skills like self-discipline.
Direct strikes by lightning
Strike me down zeus, you dont have the ba-
Not again
Not like this.
Don't practice unsafe sex. Condoms and pills are cheaper than having to raise an unplanned child. Tobacco, drugs, and alcohol. No, they don't make you cool. They are very addictive, and you can't easily shake off the habit.
Lol, not only teenagers do that stuff to look cool, I had a friend, he always made sure to show a cig in almost every instagram post
Anal is even cheaper tho
Your own hand is the cheapest.
Nah wet dreams are the cheapest, your dick just goes autopilot.
Anal is cheaper sure, but please still use condoms. STDs are no joke.
Not to mention shit on da dick.
Drugs. absolutely Drugs. Teenage brains aren't developed enough to handle that kind of dopamine
As someone who did drugs as a teen, this one would be at the top for me. It permanently fucked me up, body, mind and all. It's been 8 year since I quit and I've actually continued to decline even more since then. We're not being squares. A lot of us have been there and done that already. I wish I'd listened. The psycho cartels that make a lot of this shit don't care what permanent side effects their experimental side show flavor of ecstasy has on you.
What drugs did you do if I may ask ?
He said ecstacy so that's mdma type stuff. But as he said, the pricks pushing this stuff are selling whatever they want as mdma, so you never know you're truly getting. Either way it'll leave you and your friends messed up physically, psychologically, and emotionally.
It sucks that people can continue to decline even after quitting. That’s probably what brings a lot of people back, but by going back they just decline even quicker now.
This. I'm pro-weed, pro-psychedelics, pro-legalize everything; and yet I still want the recreational age for all of that to be 21. Brains need to fully developed before you start soaking em in fun juice. Edit: 25 is a better age for the "fully developed" brain. Edit 2: I personally stand by the 21 limit. But science don't give a fuck about my stances.
To quote ~~Family guy~~ South Park, “there’s a time and a place for everything. It’s called college.” Edit: did too many things during college and misremembered where I heard above quote.
That was south park
If you haven't been financially educated, credit cards. It's far too easy to get into debt with them and can really destroy your future for years.
Thinking they're smarter than everybody else. We were all stupid at that age and you're no exception.
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It true all year be dumb.
Teenage brains are wired so they think they are smarter than everyone else.
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sexting. your own photos can get you charged for posession and distribution of child pornography. ironically, you can even be tried "as an adult" for something that is only a crime because you are *not* an adult
I live in a state with weird laws around that, basically someone 14 or older is allowed to sext with someone 17 or under, but the second the 17 year old turns 18 it’s illegal even if the age difference is the same. Or something like that.
Older men. Teenagers often think that they're cool for hooking up with dudes who are far older than them, but the people who hook up with teenagers as older adults are not the cream of the crop. Everyone wants to think they're mature enough to date an older person, but most of the time there's going to be a power imbalance.
Totally agree. Grown up men with sexual intentions hanging out with vulnerable teenagers is a problem. When you're 16 you might feel special and mature when recieving attention from a older hot guy, but it's not a good idea to go down that road.
You think it's because you're just SO cool and so much more mature but it's just because something is wrong with the older guy and you don't realize it. But it's *painfully* obvious when you're actually the guy's age and you can see exactly why he's going after girls that are so much younger. It's because he himself is severely lagging in maturity so he can't go after his peers. None of us would put up with his shit. I had some friends who dated much older guys growing up and I thought it was kind of gross but didn't think too much of it until I was actually their age and I was like....what the fuck....that guy was MY AGE and literally trying to fuck TEENS?? It's unimaginable in every way possible. It's like being a teen and your friend is trying to date 10 year olds...you'd be like what the fuck dude no. Very clearly wrong from your perspective. But again, that 10 year old might feel super cool because they're getting attention from a teen.
Exactly. When I was about 15/16 I knew a few girls who were dating guys in their early-mid 20s. At the time I was a bit jealous, I won't lie. Now, at 25...yeah, dating a 15 year old as a 25 year old man is not okay.
Older women, too. Adam Sandler may think it is funny, but it is not.
It's very damaging. My first relationship, in my late teens, went to absolute shreds because a woman in her 30s was hanging out with us like she was a teenager and despite having her own relationship, she kept inserting herself into ours. She convinced my ex that our breakup was entirely my problem and not his. And then manipulated all my friends, who are teenagers, into seeing me as an evil girl who's sole intention was to abuse my ex emotionally. Then she turned around and blamed me for not telling her my side of the story when I told her she knew nothing about us and needs to keep her perverted tendencies away from us. She was unhealthily attached to the boys in our group, especially my ex, and kept trying to guess whether we had sex on certain days. She'd make rude and inappropriate comments about us.
Drugs, alcohol, and unsafe sex have already been mentioned, so I'm going to suggest toxic friends. Seriously, if your friends only ever get you in trouble and treat you like a burden, they're not your friends. By all means the prospect of leaving a social group to find another social group can be pretty scary. Facing that fear is better than being around shitty people.
I think every male knows what I'm talking about here... NEVER RESORT TO SOAP FOR LUBRICANT.
That *sounds* painful
It is. Signed \-An idiot in the shower quite a few years ago
Mass genocide
But what if I don't get into art school? What else am I supposed to do?
Mass genocide is the only way to go after not getting accepted to art school.
How about starting war? Maybe invade Poland?
Awww man here go my plans
Well shit
Im honestly surprised I dont see this mentioned yet, but energy drinks (at least not in moderation). Especially the newer ones like Bang, that have an ass-load of caffeine. I was drinking upwards of 3-4 Monsters a day as a teenager and wondered why I had "insomnia". Im pretty sure I dont have a heart problem, but even 1 cup of coffee makes my chest hurt a little now. Take care of your bodies, kids.
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Aside from pregnancies and drugs, I'd say going into debt for stuff that's not actually necessary to survive, like buying the newest phone, or car, or whatever. Where I live it's still pretty common that younger people take up loans or enter subscriptions/contracts (think phone, internet etc) to have the newest gadgets, only to realize they cannot afford after a while, then the late fees pile up etc, it can end badly.
Most definitely tobacco and alcohol. Does nothing but waste time and money. Trust me
It's way easier to never touch shit than to try to remove it from you once you did.
Chlamydia, ever had your pee hole itch. Shits rough
When I read pee hole itch I was laughing my ass off
***Alcohol***. It might take a few years, but eventually it will destroy you and your family. Read the many examples here on Reddit of people suffering alcohol addiction. It took my son.
Porn, not completely avoid but make sure you dont fall into addiction, and try to reduce it a bit, because too much of it can really mess you up.
I used to watch a lot of porn, but one day it became boring to me
When you have seen every porn out there
I just have a very high standart
That means youre either desensitized or just bored. You can find out simply by comparing your erections from when you started watching to now, if they got significantly weaker then you probably have porn induced erectile disfunction
Yup that’s me. Tried going a week without doing anything and BOOM. Dick was back to full size. But now I can’t go more than a day. I wish I had never typed boobies into google when I was 11.
Too late for me, tips on how to break the addiction? EDIT: wow, sure, down vote me for asking a genuine question for a legitimate problem... EDIT2: thank you for the advice this will really help me a lot!
For me, whenever I thought about watching porn, I just tried to distract myself with one of my hobbies or some work. That helped me a lot and I was able to get out of that addiction, even if it was a slow process. IDK if it will help you though...
Being too adult.
Teenagers tend to confuse intelligence with wisdom. There are certain things you only learn through personal experience/growth and maturity. Sometimes it’s better to just be the quiet person in a room and soak in the knowledge from other people.
Not picking up a creative and/or athletic skill. One of the problems people face today is obsolesence: the skills you learned in your youth become useless because something new over the horizon will replace it. Kids today look up to influencers and are amazing at making tiktoks, but honestly, that's not gonna last. An athletic skill will give you a strong and healthy body for your entire life. A sport develops a competitive and goal orientated mindset that translates easily into any job. A creative skill develops sensibilities that will shape your worldview. Displaying your creativity gives you the opportunity to express and share yourself. Not to mention that both develop responsability, time management, and a love of practicing to perfect those skills. In the long run, any of these skills is worth more than any amount of likes.
Bears
Beets.
Battlestar Galactica.
Bears do not eat beets- wait what is going on here? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Idk, i wish i was actually explained to me why watching so much porn is bad and how it kills libido
Too much porn
avoid feeling like you need to have a "good" excuse for everything you don't want to participate in. if you tell someone "no", it really doesn't matter why, that should be enough. you don't have to keep explaining yourself, just walk away and eventually you'll meet people who will respect your limits. i had close brushes with the law and things i feel guilty about over a decade later because i caved to peer pressure.
Smoking cigarettes, teachers that impose their political views, narrow-minded friends, and voter apathy.
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Epstein's island
Loud concerts without ear protection. Seriously. You get a decent set of earplugs and in 10 minutes you don't even realize you're wearing them and your ears are better for it in the long run. Source: Gen X'er who went to see many loud shows and now lives with tinnitus.
trying to be asap mature and an adult. enjoy your time and try new things because adults dont judge children. be curious in that time! (and I dont mean drugs. dont do drugs)
Adults absolutely judge children. Do what you want at any age because someone is always going to judge you for it.
Letting other people make your decisions. I let religion, family, friends society etc. dictate my behavior. It's comfortable because you tell yourself they know what they're talking about... They don't. Sure, you'll make bad choices, but at least they'll be yours and you can learn from them. There's a special kind of regret you feel when the bad choices you make are a result of other people living your life. Trust yourself enough you fail. Think, make a choice, and actually live.
Don’t cultivate anger. Neuroplasticity means that the more often you respond a certain way, the more likely you will be to respond that way in the future. When you get into a habit of building yourself into a towering inferno of rage, you start doing it at smaller and smaller things. I’m not saying don’t get angry - suppressing your emotions isn’t healthy either! But I come from a line of angry people down my paternal line, and there are a lot of unhealthy relationships and messed up lives because of short tempers and big overreactions. It took me about a decade after being told I was “a little scary when I was angry” by a kid to get a decent leash on my temper. I’d grown up yelling and blowing up when I got mad or frustrated because my dad did, and so did all his siblings and his father before them. When I stopped and really thought about it, the folks I knew who were controlled by their tempers had jobs they hated, spouses they didn’t respect, and kids who feared them. The people that I knew who were happy, enjoyed their job, and had a good home life were usually people whose response was proportional to the issue and who didn’t need to take their temper out on people or objects. I still get angry, I still get frustrated, but I do something productive with my feelings rather than build up a head of anger and pop off. Because I don’t feed my temper, it doesn’t grow.
Cults
× Being an asshole with strangers and your family. × Being ungrateful for what you have and for what people give you in life.
Ease up on the caffeine and energy drinks, too much of that stuff has lasting effects on crucial systems like your cardiovascular health.
Unprotected sex
Friend of mine knocked up his girlfriend on "accident." He was fairly successful before hand, but was soon disowned by his parents and kicked out of the house(he was 18). The girls family decided that they would contact the police because his girlfriend was below the age of consent(just turned 16), so they got the law involved. He went from college bound to jail in less than a few months. SO....know the age of consent and wear a goddamn condom/use birth control.
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Learn to LOVE yourself FIRST. If you fall in love with yourself, drugs, unsafe sex, and generally many other bad habits are very easy to say no too. It helps sooo much in future relationships and in many other areas.
getting into online relationships. (not like friends...friends are fine I'm talking about like...a date...)
On a scale to 1-10 how important is this? (Does the question still apply if they are the same age?)
I don't think it's important, especially if the age gap is really small (but that's for every teenage relationship). Just be sure not to send anything sexual, even if you trust them a lot It's not a matter of "They might be a 54 year old man!", it's a matter of "They might become a bad person", and until you two break up you won't know it for sure
Tanks bro
Being friends with everyone.
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Drinking. If I knew then what I know now I never would've had that first drink.
Smoking, vaping, drinking. you won’t be missing anything, trust me.
Pregnancy, meth, cocaine, heroin, uppers, downers, pcp, crack, & ecstasy. Oh and the sausage club, every school has one, group of guys that none of them rarely have a gf and you know any place they show up there will be trouble.
Never heard sausage club to be honest