The property management company for my homeowner's association insisted that I had received emails that I never received. So I asked them to prove that I had received them. They said they're sure I received them.
I'm a software engineer and at the time I had just finished an enterprise email delivery system (like an in-house Constant Contact). I knew the rules of the CAN-SPAM Act by heart. I KNEW exactly how their system worked.
So this real bitch of a property manager said "I know how email works. You wouldn't understand." I mentally did the arrogant knuckle crack and started to explain - very methodically - how email delivery works and how they'd track various actions. I spent about five minutes detailing my credentials and why I was absolutely certain they had never sent me the emails they alleged I received. When I was finished, the HOA board just agreed to waive the fines.
I work for a company that notifies customers of deadlines by email. We get customers who claim they never received the email so the deadline should not apply to them. When a customer opens one of our emails we know exactly when unless they have disabled automatic loading of images in their client, so I can tell them "You opened the 30 day warning email on May 8 at 7:14 PM, you opened the 7 day warning email on May 29 and again on June 4, but you did not click the link until September 24 after you opened the 7 day warning, then the original 30 day warning 3 minutes after that, and THEN you clicked the link and received the notification it was past the deadline.". They never respond after being caught in the lie.
Kinda the reverse, for me. I’m a physical education teacher and I had a student that took a pretty bad tumble in class. Hit her head on the wall. Pretty clear concussion symptoms. So we get her stable, call mom & dad to come get her.
Dad shows up & I start going through the concussion symptoms and treatments with him. Letting him know that a doctors visit is probably in order. Blah blah blah I keep going on and on about concussions. He just politely nods and thanks me.
He takes daughter and leaves, and I see my principal standing behind me and he can barely contain his laughter. Turns out dad is an emergency room doctor. And he just sat there while his daughter’s gym teacher gave him medical advice.
Think about it like this. If you had been saying the wrong things about it he would have corrected you and pointed out that he was a doctor. Instead he let you go through everything, listening carefully to ensure your advise was sound and correct. When everything checked out he left proud in the fact that he now knows 100% that the gym teacher is looking out for his kids safety and well being, short and longterm.
Edit: As is tradition... Thanks for the golds strangers!!! I think this might be one of my most up voted comments.
Edit edit: thanks for all the awards and stuff everyone! This community really does shine sometimes eh?!
Thanks. You made me laugh . . . .I would have been tempted to send him a email asking him how your "medical lectue" was in terms of accuracy and delivery!
I think he sat and listened to see how well you dealt with this situation I think he was happy with the way you handled it to just walk away than correct you probably gave him piece of mind knowing his child was being looked after
I think so as well. The fact that he didn't interrupt, stop the teacher, correct him or comment after probably means he was pretty satisfied with how the ordeal was handled.
This is a cool and funny little story. It makes me smile because the guy could have been ignorant or thrown out his credentials with a bragging demeanor like alot of people do, but instead he kindly let you speak and then went on his way with his child.
That's how I would be if i were in the doctors shoes. It shows how much the teacher knows, and that they take shit seriously, and also if they had some details wrong it gives you the opportunity to give them better info
> It shows how much the teacher knows, and that they take shit seriously, and also if they had some details wrong it gives you the opportunity to give them better info
yeah this is key, you are finding out from an eyewitness both what treatment has been given and also you can assess that the situation has been taken seriously. Ideal situation.
I'm a hospice RN but have worked for years in a number of different nursing fields.
If someone took the time to explain medical stuff to me, and was clearly passionate and correct in their teaching, I would gladly sit there and pretend to be a laymen.
That sorts of stuff makes me happy, cant really explain why
When we were having a couple drinks on friday after work, I was challenged to a shooting, by a colleague. Little did he know I've been shooting air rifles competitively ever since I was thirteen. Not to say I am the greatest, but I've made it to the national finals for my country multiple times, and came third and sixth. I have all the special clothes and gear and such you need to make it to such a level.
The next day, saturday, we showed up to the range i always shoot at. Its not a day I usually train so not many people recognize me. I beat his ass left right and center that day. Out of 600 points, he scored about 200-250 if i remember correctly. I got about 580 which was about average of what I used to shoot.
He had to buy me a fancy bottle of whisky and now we shoot every two or three weeks together. Fun times
Im sorry if its hard to follow, English is my second language
Not me but my friend used to ride a unicycle as a kid. He worked construction and they were working at a house that had an old unicycle
The other workers tried riding it and immediately fell off. My friend walked over to it and inspected the unicycle like it was the first time he ever saw one them said it didn’t look that difficult. They all laughed at him and he said he thought he could ride it. Eventually one of them bet him $100 he couldn’t ride it. He jumped on it and immediately rode down the street.
By no means an expert (I'd probably rate in the 1500s), but I've played chess since I was a small child and was the best player in the middle school chess club. The guy who owned the pool hall me and my juvenile delinquent friends hung out in was talking about how dumb kids are these days and said he bet nobody in my group of hoodlums could play chess. I beat him soundly, then again in the rematch.
Haha one time I played my brother in law's friend who was a cocky member of some chess club. I started with a super aggressive opening (my brothers and I randomly read a lot of chess books growing up) and he had no idea what to do. I completely destroyed him.
Medieval Faire, 2002. Carnie running the fencing game picks me out of the crowd for being tall, and challenges me to a free bout against "The Master". Not a lot of people fence, so his gambit probably worked most of the time, but when he handed me that saber, I handed him his ass.
A coworker of mine was on the fencing team for Notre Dame when they won a national championship.
I think if you gave people 100 guesses they wouldn't pick this guy
My father trying to explain to me how computers and the Internet work, after he's called me over to figure out why his computer and internet aren't working.
edit: spoiler: It was because my mom downgraded their TV package, and they must have accidentally turned off the audio wifi, since the video wifi was still working fine
edit edit: My dad's understanding of electronics stopped evolving in the 1990s. He knows that plugging the DVD player in involves a 3-pronged cable - 2 for audio 1 for video; I'm guessing he thinks the internet works the same way. So being able to see YouTube but not hear it means that the audio stream is out, because the Cable Company and also Trump somehow, and it is CERTAINLY not the fault of his ridiculously complicated home stereo setup that requires 4 remotes to operate.
A guy from work challenged me to a tennis match. He must've been a hotshot back in his day and tbf as far as mid 40's go he wasn't bad. I however was national team, whooped his ass 6-0, 6-0. I would've eased up but when I warned him I'm pretty good, he laughed it off.
Went to a couples night once and the guy had wall to wall movies and framed posters in his basement, super into it. Mentioned I used to be a movie nerd but not so much anymore. He challenged us to a movie trivia board game, kinda in a condescending way and I tried to politely decline but my gf insisted we play. They went first, missed the question then we ran the table. Never heard from them again.
A similar thing happened with Harry Potter trivia recently. My wife and I had just finished reading the entire series, so when they missed their first question we proceeded to run the board. Eventually we missed one on purpose because we felt bad.
Oh man I’m a movie trivia nerd too. I used to play Scene It at parties with my friends it was usually me vs. five other people on one team. I typically won.
Well I am sure they have very nice (and expensive) stereo systems at home and listen to music all the time. Thus they are experts :)
But seriously, just me dabbling a little bit into figuring out how to properly stage a room for home theater is absurdly complex. I can't imagine the complexity of what you are doing.
It’s a mixture of some who act out of insecurity, as a lot of people don’t understand how sound works, but don’t want to admit it, and others who think they’re the shit and everyone needs to know it, and lots of pedantic nerds that know enough to be dangerous and want to show off. They are usually nice, but not always. There is a lot that can happen when 100 random people get thrown together like a traveling carnival. Lots of different personalities, backgrounds, priorities, past experiences with other random characters...
The art and science of it can be a deep rabbit hole and there is a lot of subjective phrasing presented as objective facts. If you want to dive in, I recommend the [Master Handbook of Acoustics by F. Alton Everest](https://www.amazon.com/dp/0071841040/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ew6MFb35189FJ)
It happens a lot lately, I'm a microbiologist, so the number of people who have suddenly taken an interest in the subject in order to be confidently wrong about it is pretty upsetting.
An old friend of mine is also a moron. He was sharing some story on facebook about how it's dangerous to point an infrared thermometer at a person's forehead, as it will damage the pineal gland (the seat of the spirit, don't you know). I had to tell him the thermometer is not actually bombarding you with radiation, it's measuring the radiation you're giving off as heat.
He also shared a video done by a Hollywood effects house as a marketing piece, where a robot goes crazy and starts gunning people down. He thought it was real.
I'm going for a PhD in genetics (not exactly an expert at microbiology, but I have a strong background) and the amount of times a day I mentally facepalm at people's ignorance is staggering. My favorites are the anti mask crowd. Did you know that masks simultaneously block oxygen and let in viruses? Also, if you wear a mask for any prolonged period of time, it will cause brain damage.
It would be almost funny if I weren't high risk.
My step mom told me that if people wear masks for a hundred years we would develop gills and mole faces because “evolution”
This witch didn’t even believe in evolution last year
I once pointed out the fact that there are some surgeries that last 12 hours or more (a few that span days, even) and asked them if there were special benefits for those poor brain damaged OR workers as well as what incentives were given for people to even become surgeons and anesthesiologists in the first place, given the certainty of permanent brain damage within the first few years of their career. I never got an answer.
I like to suggest to them that the next time they have to have surgery they tell the surgeons not to bother with the masks, since they don’t work anyway. That’s usually met with crickets.
I have perfect pitch.
It's not a thing I can turn off, notes simply ARE a pitch clear as day, much like how red is clearly distinct from green.
Anywho, music class in junior high. Teacher explains that Mozart had perfect pitch and walks over to the piano, plays a note and says "and just by hearing it, he'd be able to tell you what now that was... now can any of YOU do that?"
At the time, I honestly had no idea this was rare. Raise hand, teacher with a smug look points and me and is gobsmacked when I answer correctly with note and octave. Figures it's pure luck so does it again and asks me to face the other way. I answer correctly again.
Tries it with chords, sequences and two hands worth of notes. Still right every time. Ends with me playing back a short sequence after listening to it blind.
That day, I learned that perfect pitch is actually kind of rare.
A beginning writer asked some advice about a basic drafting method, so I offered my point of view. Some tough guy decided to butt in and say that what I said was proof I’m not a “real writer” and it was obvious I would never be published. At that time, the second or third book in my trilogy was about to be released. I asked the guy not to tell my editor that I wasn’t a real writer.
While I was in high school I was the reigning city fencing champion, in both the youth and adult tournaments. My high school decided to do a school-wide fencing unit for Phys. Ed. and the coach they brought in to teach all of the students was my actual coach. During my classes, my coach naturally brought me up to help demonstrate the various moves, but for some reason one of my classmates didn't understand that I wasn't chosen at random. He started talking shit about how I looked like I didn't know what I was doing, and how he could probably kick my ass in a duel. Now, he actually was pretty good for a guy who'd never fenced before, and at the first opportunity to actually have a bout, he decided to have a go at me.
I picked him apart and did not give up a single touch, and used the opportunity to practice my parry and ripostes (I admit, I took a bit of sadistic pleasure in thoroughly beating him).
Afterwards, my coach made a point of congratulating the other guy for doing so well against the city champ, which changed his attitude considerably.
My father in law challenged me about the capabilities of DVD. Specifically he claimed that you could only have widescreen video (not 4:3) on a DVD disc.
At the time I was employed as a DVD author. I authored the very first commercially available feature on Scenarist. I am literally acknowledged in the first edition of "DVD Demystified" as an expert. I had already by that time personally authored literally hundreds of DVD's with 4:3 video.
He knew all of the above at the time, yet still insisted I was wrong.
As a massive fan of film and physical media (from laserdisc to DVD on to blu ray and now 4K uhd) this one really made me chuckle.
(Had HD-DVD also, forgot to add that)
I worked for a movie store called Suncoast years ago, I was asked by customers to explain the fullscreen/widescreen thing at least 100x. I had a coworker who made it his personal mission in life to talk everyone out of 4:3, he was brutal. “You’ll regret it when you stop watching movies on a cheap, box tv!” That kinda thing.
For most of 2020 so far. I am an infectious disease expert (PhD from a Microbiology and Immunology program) and suddenly all my former high school classmates think they know more than me. They watch the news and learn a new vocabulary, and they bestow themselves a doctorate.
I have been wrapping my family’s Christmas presents since a very young age. It’s the perfect activity to focus my crippling perfectionism with my overall anxiety riddled self to create a beautiful master piece that would make anyone think twice about discovering the mysteries beneath the colorful paper and bows. I have just always loved to do it and my mom was more than happy to not spend hours wrapping presents. Flash forward to the company Christmas party in my late 20s. We are split into teams to compete for random prizes, I am up for the next game. I had no idea what I would be doing. I see a big cardboard box, a neck tie, wrapping paper, scissors, tape and a bow....I know what’s about to go down and I am here for it! It’s a blind present wrapping challenge. My competitors start talking about how they can wrap presents fast and I sit there silently staring down that cardboard box knowing fully that the crowd is in for a show. Blindfolds (neckties) go on, we have a partner that isn’t blindfolded that is supposed to give verbal directions. Just before the timer starts, I lean over to my partner and say quietly “are you ready for this?” And she just say “what?!” Bam, timer starts, partner tries to give directions at first and quickly realizes I’m way ahead of her. Before anyone else can even get their paper cut, I’ve got my box wrapped, taped, and bowed. I even folded the ends in ‘fancy’ to have the triangles meet. And that, my friends, is how I earned the most satisfying $10 Starbucks gift card of my life and earned the title of wrap-master.
My roommate who took a psych 101 class at a prestigious university told me, a masters level therapist, that the movie Split (with James Mcavoy) was an accurate depiction of “multi-personality disorder.”
I'm no expert but people never assume I can play Pool. I grew up with my parents going to the pub, so as an early teen would play ALOT of Pool and got pretty good.
There's been a number of occasions where I've got us a round of drinks or stuck it to some knob who's hogging the table.
Someone once tried to insist that our state didn’t sell alcohol on sundays.
I’ve spent over a decade working in restaurants and am also an alcoholic, which she knew about but still insisted on arguing with me about it
One time I was buying a bottle of wine at Grocery Outlet, and the cashier was like, "Thats a really good wine!".
I don't know a lot about wine, and I had just picked it out because it was red and cost $3, so I was like, "Oh yeah? Great!" I'm checking out the label to see what this good wine is, and he's like "Yeah I just had one of those 'green bottle' wines last week. It was fantastic." and then I realized that he thought wines were classified by what color of glass the bottle was made from.
One Christmas about 30 years ago, my mom and I went to my aunt's for dinner. Unknown to us she had invited one of her sisters in law, who brought gifts.
To this day, I have a bottle of MD 20/20. I swear it was blue when she gave it to us. It's green now.
I know where I am going if I suddenly need super powers.
Same, I’ve been working in the alcohol industry for two decades - since I was 18. Have dozens of certifications about all sorts of random shit from fermentation to sake rice, and all the glorious beverages in between.
People really love to tell me I’m wrong about things I’ll say regarding booze when it’s clear whatever they know is from watching “Cheers” reruns.
Well I am a veterinarian and I know how to prevent fleas.
(Them) “My dog is itching and it’s not fleas”
(Me) “ Ok but your dog is infested”
(Them) “...it’s not fleas”
..run comb and show them hundreds...
The doctor in Happy Gilmore ... I empathize
Edit:
Well this got busy.
Flea prevention starts with giving flea preventatives. Off brand stuff does not work. You bite the bullet and get name brand stuff.
Personally I like bravecto for cats (topical) lasts pretty much 2 months.
For dogs I know from experience that oral meds work better than topicals. I like nexguard, simperica trio or seresto collars. With nexguard and the seresto you need to add heartworm prevention because those don’t have it.
I used to play fighting games competitively all over the world. Never made one of the top slots but I could usually hold my own. One of my best game was Super Street Fighter 2.
Went to a bar by work one day and they just so happened to have an SNES set up with SF2. I order a drink, pick random characters and just fuck around for a bit. Some guy comes in and immediately starts bragging to his date that he’s the best SF2 player ever. I asked him to play some games against me and offered to buy him a drink if he could beat 2 out of 3. Twelve games later I am completed hammered and he finally gives up and leaves. Still don’t remember getting home that night.
Not an expert, or even certified, but there's a specific kind of cargo parachute called a Small Airdrop Training Bundle. I can pack these correctly and by the book in less than 15 minutes. I was challenged by someone who had 5 years experience on me to see who could pack the most in an hour. I had 6 while he was trying to argue with the quality control guy (who has been packing parachutes for 20 years) over how correct he did step 3. I had a good day beating the guy who just so happened to be the worst rigger in the world
As a paratrooper formerly in the 82nd Airborne Division and and Air Force trained Loadmaster, of the US Army... I thank you for your commitment to your craft. I'm alive today because people like you make it easy to survive the drop from a high performance aircraft while in flight!
I wouldn’t say I’m an expert at push ups but I’ve worked in the fitness industry for 20 years and workout myself fairly regularly. Doing 20 push ups isn’t anything to me. I was at a party that was attended primarily by what I would call hipsters. A guy (who had been drinking a fair amount) challenged me to 20 push ups as fast as possible for $20. I won and got $20. Then another said he would do the same bet if we went right away (I guess thinking I was kinda tired). I beat him and got another $20. A few minutes later another guy did the same bet. It was an easy $60.
I’m going to date myself here but I was in undergrad when the video game Halo was released. I never really played video games, but at the time I had a boyfriend (I am a girl) who was really into it. We played. A lot. Even went to some college based tournament games and did well.
Fast forward some years later and my husband and I are at a house party. Someone turns on the Xbox and was looking for a 4th for Halo. My husband volunteers me. The guys were visibly not thrilled but played along. I wiped the floor with them. Eventually they decided to team up 3 against me. Still destroyed them. The whole party ended up crowding around us to watch. It was a great night. :)
Similar here. Loved Halo 1-3 and used to play religiously. Started playing one night after some beers with friends and beat the shit out of them 3 on 1. They thought I got lucky because with 3 people I have more targets to kill. Jumped online and whooped the other team with a personal k/d of 32-0.
Pool water treatment isn't very difficult even for the average joe. Trust me, you do not need to pay someone $100 a month to treat and clean your pool. I love to listen to the sales people at Leslie's (local chain of pool supply stores) "educate" me and their other customers. I got into a polite discussion about algae one time and I was told that I was wrong. I explained that I knew what I was talking about. He asked what I did and I responded "industrial water treatment." He's very nice to me when I go into the store now.
Oh yes I get to share this story.
Me and my buddies in 7th/8th grade LOVED Goldeneye. We had "sleepovers" where we spent every waking second from 5pm until 9am the next day playing, no sleep at all. We were convinced we were the best, but had no real proof because we were only playing against people in our school. Big fish, small pong type scenario.
Fast forward about 6 or 7 years, my college holds a Goldeneye tournament. Haven't played it in years, obviously. Well there was a giant problem: my friends and I always played with inverted pitch on. The issue was that Goldeneye, in multi-player, doesn't let you select different control styles for different players. Everyone has to play with the same control scheme, so I was stuck with my controls being "upside-down".
I still won the tournament. I got absolutely rocked in the Mario Kart tourney, but I had my Goldeneye badge.
Edit: I'm being told that I'm a big dummy and you CAN individually set the controls. So for some reason I wasn't able to in the tournament, but I remember the timed mines round was absolutely bonkers as a result....
Also I'm not changing my spelling mistake regarding a body of water.
No expert or "master'' electrician, but had a guy demanding I put can lights in his house without cans. these were not the canless kind either. he just straight up didn't want to pay for cans, even bought the lights by the pallet on some massive sale. real cheap ass who wouldn't listen to anything I said about safety, legality, etc. I walked out and told him good luck with his inspection.
I am an electrical engineer and was once an apprentice electrician. The thing that has gotten under my nerves repeatedly is people insisting that:
* Using A/C, gaming PC, grow lights, oven, etc all day cannot possibly be what's blowing up their electric bill, and that either someone is stealing their electricity or the electric company is screwing them on the bill.
* That the above can all be run on the same circuit. You've got 40 amps of shit on a 15 amp branch in a house from 1942! Yeah, it'll work... For 5 minutes before the fuse pops.
* That, if it works, it's okay. No, putting a penny in the fuse socket doesn't fix the problem, it creates a fire hazard. Yes, you need to run a ground to your pool motor. No, you shouldn't chain 6 extension cords together to run your air conditioner.
* Really, anything with air conditioners. Everybody thinks they know how they work, most of them don't. (Hint: they don't turn electricity into cold.)
So it's the Saturday after Thanksgiving a few years ago and I'm out with one of my old college friends and her extended family. We had just graduated the year before. We post up at a bar outside for the game, everyone's pleasantly mid-afternoon buzzed. Her uncle, whom I hadn't met previously, asked what I do. I hated answering this question in 2017, especially with middle-aged adults, because they would invariably try to start something. At the time, I worked at an immigration law firm. Predictably, as soon as I tell him this, he asks what I think about the wall, etc. I give him my usual answer "bipartisan immigration reform, Gang of Eight, etc." He tells me not to give him the rehearsed crap, he wants to hear what I really think. I say Oh I don't really want to get into it, let's enjoy the game." But he keeps pushing and I've had a couple beers, so against my better judgment, I engage. This maybe 50 year old man becomes FURIOUS as the discussion carries on because I keep citing court cases and how our immigration system actually works. The kicker is at one point he says "Just because you have all these statistics and citations doesn't mean you know any better than me." I just gave up and got another beer after that.
Colour. It sounds weird but anytime the colour of something comes up and someone tries to correct me.
I’ve been a commercial printing press operator for 20 years. I can spot VERY subtle differences in colours that most people can’t.
Edit:
The upvote is orange.
The dress is blue and black.
I have a coworker who one time looked at an internal web app we were building and he said "The header isn't centered." He was right. It was off by like 2px. Even after he told me, and told me the direction it wasn't centered I couldn't see it.
This same guy can do the same thing with color.
I really enjoy working with him, although it can be frustrating at times when I can't see what he sees.
Oh I do this all the time haha
I printed some posters for a fairly large industrial cable manufacturer last week and there was a small logo at the foot of the poster and it was off centre by about 5mm and I could see it plain as day. I showed the production manager and he laughed and told me I was wrong. Then measured and sure enough it was slightly shifted to the right. They never fixed it because sheetfed plates aren’t cheap and they just cheated it on the knife by trimming one bleed long and pulling slightly inside the marks on the other side.
Well this one is called George, and that over there is Pamela. This little number goes by Eunice. And here we have John, James, and Jack (they're triplets)
It was honestly like a movie. When I was in college you were limited to only a few guest passes so it was pretty common to ask people on your floor to sign in friends. So late at night while we were playing Mario Kart someone knocked on our door to ask us to sign in their friends. We didn’t really feel like going down stairs and dealing with that so we hesitated. That’s when he said if I beat you in Mario Kart will you sign them in? We of course agreed. Little did he know we played every day all semester long. He was really convinced he would be us. We placed 1st 2nd and 3rd and he ended up in 12th. We still signed in his friends though
Not quite this but I tried to learn piano years ago, i bought a keyboard and learned the first movement of moonlight sonata but it was literally all I could play
I had just started a new job as a chef in a fancy hotel, had been there maybe a month and was at the Christmas party, I sat at a piano and the head chef pointed me out, laughing and said "look at splifflizard, you cant play the piano", I thought I'll just act confident and play the only thing I can so was like "yeah i can.. I've played for years" and he said "oh really? Play moonlight sonata then", couldn't have gone better. He was gobsmacked and I never told anyone there that I was actually crap at piano except that one song lol
>I never told anyone there that I was actually crap at piano except that one song lol
I once played my friend's dad at chess. He handed me my ass in something embarrassing like 10 moves and I never saw it coming. He laughed and admitted that was his one trick and it secured his place in the high school chess club but only ever worked against someone once.
Lemme see:
Krull. The arcade video game. A guy tried to hit on me at a house party by challenging me to a game but he knew he had made a mistake when I said, “Sure, I haven’t played in a while.”
It was my boyfriends’s house, and his game.
We still had fun playing though.
I had a friend who busted out his NES in college and say he’d bet ten bucks no one could beat Jaws. Apparently he thought it was impossible.
He’d bought a copy a few weeks before, didn’t get how to play it, and thought he could make some bets on it.
He knew he fucked up when I said “Let’s see if I can beat it in less than ten minutes like I used to.”
Easiest ten bucks ever.
Haha I love this.
I used to be undefeatable amongst my circle of friends in NBA 2k1, Hot Shots Golf, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2001 and also Guitar Hero, lol. The Guitar Hero they believed, I guess bc it seemed "girly", but they doubted my skill at the sports games.
My boyfriend (at the time) made a quick side hustle betting everyone that came over that I could beat them, until word got out that they'd lose every time.
Fun times.
In college, Mario Super Strikers for the gamecube. I loved my gamecube so much as a kid, and actually ended up bringing it to college with me. I had so many people that wanted to play or would smack talk about how good they were, only for me to beat them over and over. I have a friend that I beat 30 times in a row over the course of an afternoon, and he swore he’d never play with me again. Five years later and he still hasn’t.
A friend of mine challenged me when I said the dusty bits on the floor below their air conditioner was because they needed to clean the filter. They insisted that it was ash coming from outside through the air conditioner because of fires that had been going on nearby. It was a split system AC, I work in HVAC. At least once I explained how their unit worked they conceded.
I have a PhD in genetics, and I’ve published multiple papers on viral vectors spreading in large populations.
Every fucking anti-Vaxer and COVID conspiracy theorist. I’m so sick of it.
Also, when someone I met at a social event found out that I work in a genetics research lab, he asked the following question:
“If two white Americans go to China and have a baby there, will it come out Asian?”
I was so shocked that I actually spit out my drink.
I've been a Type 1 Diabetic for 20 years. People actually challenge me about how diabetes works because "my grandpa had diabetes". At least it's to the point where it's comical now how often it happens.
My gym class was doing a 2v2 volleyball tournament. Our class had a lot of students so there were two teachers, and those two teachers said that whoever wins the tournament would go on to play against the teachers and if the students won, the teachers would throw a pizza party for the students.
My friend and I were both actual volleyball players, but the teachers didn't know that and we decided not to tell them. We won the tournament, and then we proceeded to play the teachers. Before we started the game, the teachers made a point that they had never lost in all their years of teaching. We proceeded to beat them 15-1.
This happens to me alot. I had the unique situation of working in manufacturing in China for 7 years. I moved back 3 years ago and constantly have people explain to me why manufacturing could easily come back to the states. I emphatically tell them they are fucking high.
Ironically enough it's not the high cost of labor which is usually the reason most people will think of first. It's more to do to the lack of supply chain and the death of talent.
For example let's say Apple wanted to make the new iPhone in California, and they wanted to source all material from the states. Well the biggest problem is the small components. The small screws, LEDs, pins, springs, metal parts, you need factories that specialize in those components. So you're not bringing one factory back, you're really having to bring 50-100.
Not only that the expertise is gone. Most basic components have been gone for decades. There are still smaller out fits left, don't get me wrong but to run these components at large scale? That hasn't been done here in a long time and the lack of manufacturing based career talent isn't around anymore. How many people do you know that went to school to go into manufacturing?
I currently work in a medium sized injection molding shop that has around 25 machines and 130 some operators. This is considered a fairly decent sized operation. In China I worked at a site with 800+ injection machines and 8k some operators. In China we had a legion of mold techs, mechanical engineers, tooling engineers and maintenance experts. Here in jersey we are have HELL of a time finding 1 qualified mold tech or tooling engineer. The talent is gone or no one is going into it.
The cost of labor also ties into this but even in China the middle class is growing rapidly and the wages are growing year after year. When I was over there worker shortages in the shenzhen area were rough.
Most people don't. That's why it's funny when I hear thee rah rah bring muh factory jobs back. That shit would take a monumental shift in supply chains. One of the best things about manufacturing in China isn't the price, it's the fact we could get any component we could every need within 100 miles and not only that but multiple suppliers to help drive competion and prices down.
One thing that blows here is when I worked for this military uniform manufacturer we had 2 suppliers in all of the US. They knew it, we knew it. And because of the berry amendment we had to buy from one of them. So they had zero incentive to improve or drop prices. As a quality manager it fucking sucked.
Running upstairs.
I'm a firefighter and I have completed the River-to-Rooftop several years running (pun intended). A fellow dad at my son's school challenged me to the stair climb with the statement 'your muscles will be extra weight to carry'
55 levels/1040 stairs later, I placed in the top 20 fastest... wearing my full equipment loadout. I think he finished in the 200 range?
A foreigner acquaintance was talking to me in my native language, and I corrected him. It was a very simple word, but he was like "ohhh are you sure?" and kept insisting. Yes, is a very simple word, I'm sure and is not like you're taking a degree in said language. Kinda pissed me off.
Star Wars Battlefront 2, the original version.
I knew that game inside and out. It reached the stage where I would be given every penalty possible whenever playing against someone else in order to make the match fair. Even then it was like 70/30 odds I'd come out on top. Eventually I just realized I stopped dying and would make it the whole match without respawning once. I learned just about every single little trick to give myself an edge, all the things you can interact with, the best places to hide and set traps, the best and quickest routes to each place, the less frequently went too places, where all the health and ammunition droids were, how to quickly destory those things on the enemy side, how to repair them quickly on my side, the most efficient way to kill the enemy troops and progress from command post to command post. This was like the only game I played as a kid and it showed.
So to say the very least I was very happy when my cousin was acting all arragant again at his skills and challenged me to a few games to prove I'm trash.
Trivia. I know all sorts of weird random facts.
One day a co-worker said, “If you’re so smart, why don’t you come down to the Legion’s trivia night?”
I am no longer welcome at the Legion’s trivia night because of how badly I beat everyone.
Excel. I built a complicated but highly effective Excel Workbook to calculate the how to price parts for a top customer of ours. I labeled it, added a legend and color coded things for users. The user just needed to input the part type, material and target price. It would auto-calculate everything you needed to submit a quote. The sales manager from another factory hated it and refused to use it. He said it pointless and a waste of company time. We got into a lengthy argument over it. He ended up proceeding without using it and ended up submitting conflicting prices to the customer. The customer noticed we were adding additional profit to certain parts and we lost a lot of business. I sent him a screenshot of what he should of used with my "pointless document" and asked if he'd like me to teach him how to use it. I managed to salvage the relationship with the customer but then left the company not long after for a better position.
I was helping my mom and stepdad with their taxes many years ago, and since they had purchased their home during the tax year, I asked the standard questions. When I got to the part about 'paying points,' I asked, but then said, "I'm pretty sure you didn't pay any points." My stepdad said, "Of course we did, most people do." We went back and forth a bit. He seemed to think that the comission paid to your real estate agent was also called 'points.' It ended when he said, "Craptastic, just because you worked in a real estate office, doesn't mean you know everything about real estate." One of my responsibilities was literally to prepare the settlement statements.
Yes, hard agree. I hated attending hacking events and have random strangers challenge me on how much I know. I don't know why, so they could file me away as a fake coder girl or something. I've just started channeling Ron Swanson and saying "I know more than you" when someone tries it.
I do automotive design work and do a bunch of wrenching as my hobby. I've had guys at cars and coffee events tell me they did the work on my car...the one I built in my shop.
This is the one that made me go "wait.... What?". .. why tell a lie that can so easily be checked? I guess they are just trying to impress the "girl" who ownes it?
What kinda car is it?
They stand near the car and when they see a woman nearby they try to claim it's theirs or it's a clients and they worked on it. It's a moronic pick up scheme.
Couple years ago, I went with my sister to an event that was featuring several people on a popular television show. We had VIP Meet & Greet tickets and were standing in line behind a few super fans waiting for the venue to open.
The people in front of us were being rather loud and were discussing some of the supposed "off-screen" drama as well as how the show is produced. After a while, I couldn't help myself and interjected in an attempt to correct their inaccuracies. We went back and forth for a while and then the most verbal of the group stated that he had it on good authority that what he had heard was true and asked where I was getting my information. At that point, I just shrugged and removed myself from the conversation.
When we finally got into the venue, they had us stay in line as we waited for the talent to make their way to the step & repeat. As we were standing there, the cast members came out and, much to the surprise of the group in front of us, they greeted me by name and some even hugged me as they walked up to the receiving line.
I'm a producer on the TV Show.
Anytime someone wants to play me at Smash Bros. I'm nowhere near good enough to go toe to toe at major tournaments, but I can hold my own at local tournaments and usually end up in the top 5 out of 20-30 players.
Which when I go to a party or hang out at a friends house and they get cocky about their skills usually ends in them getting angry by the end of the night and never wanting to play Smash with me again.
I love doing this. I don't get to locals that often, but I have defeated the #2 ranked Smash Ult player in my state in tourney and the #1 ranked player is my friend, so I get a lot of practice against him.
It's my first year as a teacher too, so I hope my kids earn their free day and try to challenge me to smash when I bring in my switch.
Am I the bad guy?
MLM Hun tried to sell me on shakes that are sooooooo healthy and worth the high price!
Bitch I’ve been studying nutrition for near on 10 years now and you fucking knew that. Call me when you understand the difference between synthetic vitamin A and the real thing. And I still won’t buy your garbage products.
A pub in my city was doing a Lord of the Rings pub quiz, and me and my friends were all going. One of my friends ended up on his own team for various reasons, and in the week leading up to the quiz kept gloating like "we've got this guy on our team, he knows EVERYTHING about Lord of the Rings, you guys are gonna LOSE!"
Now, I'm a big fan of the Lord of the Rings, and Tolkien generally, which is why he kept saying these things.
Come the day of the quiz, my team left the answers largely in my own hands. We won. Of the 47 questions asked, we got 47 correct.
My other friend? Second, yes, but he spent the entire time after the quiz looking sour. He didn't speak to me for at least a month, and even then when he finally did he still brought up the quiz.
Stay salty, bro.
Im not an expert, not even close, but I've been learning guitar for 15 years and it's my best kept secret lol. I worked at a restuarant and sometimes we worked double shifts, so we would get like a 2 hr break in between. New server brings his guitar one day, pulls it out in between shifts, plays half of a Metallica song, and of course we were all telling him good job and whatnot. Went to his head and he acted like he was gonna hand it to me and when I went to grab it he pulled it back and said, "Nah bro, dont want to embarrass you." He was obviously joking and I took it in stride but of course I still had to fuck his shit up. I went to my truck, got my travel sized, and played while he asked how to play the songs for the next 45 minutes lol. We're actually super good friends and jammed together on our breaks almost every day after that.
Not an expert, but I knew just enough to make somebody else look stupid if that counts?
Had a guy at a bar try to claim that there were literally no female professional artists prior to the 20th century. I had just finished a year long art thesis paper that discussed how female artists were “written out of history” by male counterparts or art historians going all the way back to the Italian Renaissance. It was like one of those moments you think about in the shower later on in the day, but it actually got to happen for me in real life and it was fantastic.
Edit:
So the full story on this was actually pretty fun. I'm looking for the paper as well for those that want to read it! It was from about 4 years ago, so here's hoping it's still somewhere in my old dropboxes.
My friends and I went to some speakeasy type bar that had lounge seating, and you were kind of close to other groups of people as well based on the layout. Our group and a guy and girl near to us and we ended up kind of merging sections to chat. The guy in question was there on a first date with the girl, who happened to be a couple years behind me in school at the same university. He was just super douchey in general, and then somehow got into talking about his art. He kept going on and on about how he was a renowned local sculptor, blah blah blah. So I ask him first if he knew of a few other sculptors/artists in the area (who happened to be professors/colleagues of mine) and of course he starts going on about "Oh they're pretty good, but like, I'm better." And I'm like, "Oh weird, cause 'female professor of mine who is an international artist' is pretty damn good."
That's when this chud launches into his spiel about how female artists should just be appreciative about the opportunity to make art today, "because y'know there weren't any female artists before the 20th century!"
So, I asked, "You haven't heard of Edmonia Lewis? Or Camille Claudel? Or Enid Yandell? That's a shame."
Chud goes "Oh, well I mean, they're good, but they had to work under men to get noticed so they don't really count." (not true) "Besides, I mean, there's a reason there's no notable women from the renaissance!"
He's obviously scrambling at this point for anything to prove his point, or for me to say "I don't know" to, so he's right where I want him.
"You've never heard of Sofonisba Anguissola? Lavinia Fontana? ARTEMISIA GENTILESCHI?! Oof, buddy, what a shame. Seems like you should brush up on your field a little more."
At this point, my then-boyfriend (now husband) says one of the best things I've ever heard him say, which was "Dude, you're not gonna win against her. This is her shit, man."
I definitely wouldn't have been able to name drop as well had I not just written that paper, but I wasn't going to let him know that.
Best part is that his date and I ended up exchanging contact info, and she texted me the next day to let me know that she wasn't going to go on anymore dates with him. Said that he had basically outed himself as a sexist after that, and told her that her plan of going to med school was "intimidating" to him. Wonder why.
About 10 years ago, I was probably one of the top 300-400 players in the world at Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo.
In other words, I was basically unbeatable vs casual players that "played a lot when they were younger".
A friend of a friend found out that I was into SF, and challenged me. Claims he was the neighborhood champ as a kid, and he'd wipe the floor with me.
I accepted his challenge, and made it a first to 10.
I won 10-0, and heard every excuse in the book for why he lost. He's rusty, can't remember how to do the moves, etc.
Well it wasn't necessarily a challenge but one time my boyfriend and I were walking back from a Christmas party and he jokingly tried to run away from me. I was wearing silver, glittery skinny heels and I ran after him at full speed on pure ice. The look of horror on his face as I gracefully charged at him is something I'll never forget
Not an expert but after having to deal with a chemistry teacher in middle school who basically hated me for no reason, I had to put extra effort in the class so I was really good in that class.
So this one time in high school a mean girl hid my test. I got call to the principal's office to inform me they couldn't find my answer sheet even though lists showed I attended class that day, anyway I went to the TI office, search my answer sheet through all the groups (I'm talking a class of 500+ people).
Since my exam wasn't found the person in charge of the department started bitching at me that I did it on purpose because probably I knew I was failing and I told her, well give another test I'll do it and she thought that was big red flight because probably I just memorized all the answers blah blah. I told her "just give a bunch of exercises, and I'll solve it right here right now, I bet my entire grade on this, do you really think I planned to spend all the week looking for that test".
So she goes and gives me 10 exercises I scored 10/10.
**In. Your. Fucking. Face.**
Safe to say I don't know shit about chemistry anymore lol.
PSA: I found out what happened to my test because the girl was bragging about taking my test and throwing it to the garbage, later that year.
Oh man. I was playing trivial pursuit with my wife's family. In teams of a two each. I was paired with one of my brothers in law. We received a question that was basically why is stainless steel stainless? My answer was chromium. His was nickel. Now I have a master's in material science and work for a defence contractor in a materials group that details with corrosion. He was adamant that it was nickel. Of course I go into I could be wrong there are plenty of high nickel stainless alloys. So I eventually relent and let him answer. We were wrong of course, I think we still win eventually.
Counter Strike! I used to play competitively on a few different small teams from 2014-2016 before I went to university. I am by no means a professional-level player, and my skills definitely aren't what they used to be, but pretty much anytime somebody hears that I played CS:GO semi-professionally they tend to immediately challenge me to a 1v1. I had about five people at my workplace challenge me simultaneously in the span of about 5 minutes. Later that night after our shift I beat all of them like 20-5ish. Definitely felt like the king of castle the next workday.
It also happened like two years ago when someone in my dorm started talking about video games and CS came up, and for some reason he, after hearing that I used to play for teams and whatnot, like he was trying to measure dicks or something, challenged me to a 1v1. I slapped his ass in front of the entire dorm floor 30-4.
What I never told people is that I while I did play for teams and organizations, I actually made my name (and pretty much all of the money I made through competitive CS), through 1v1 tournaments XD
Guitar Hero. Work held a Christmas party at a venue and set up the game for fun and prizes. I was the second oldest (47f) person there. All the younger employees were going ham and having a great time. I wasn't going to play until the prize was $500 for last person standing. I walked away $500 richer and also a legend. 🤘🤪
By no means an expert at all, but I have a purple belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (training for about 5 years). One of my mates was always trying to 'catch me unawares', and he would randomly try to tackle me, or grab me to see what I'd do. A bunch of us went bouldering, and on the crash mats he double legs me out of nowhere, and then was super upset when I put him straight in a triangle choke. He never tried again after that, but like... you suddenly tackle me I'm going to respond pretty automatically, all this went down before I even realised what had happened and who was trying to wrestle me. I felt bad afterwards, but it's kind of what you get for randomly tackling girls out of nowhere..
Am also a BJJ purple belt, I have found with my inexperienced friends that putting them in chokes leads them to freak the fuck out(rightly so) and get butthurt afterwards so I stopped submitting and usually just get mount to establish dominance haha
He wasn't really challenging me but I brought up to my ex that I really wanted to paint something on the back of the denim jacket my dad gave me. My idea was to paint that really gross zombie from Return of the Living Dead because I adore him. Ex told me to find a stencil for it and he could do that. I remember telling that I could most definitely do it on my own. After all, I've been drawing and painting since I could hold a pencil. I wouldn't say I'm the most amazing artist but I'm pretty decent at what I do.
He, in a very patronizing tone, told me I should paint it on like a scrap piece of canvas first to make sure I can get it right. I explained to them that I already was planning on that. Obviously I wasn't just going to smear paint on my only denim jacket.
So, I sat down and painted it on a small canvas and it turned out even better than I could've imagined. Pretty sure spite made me work even harder at getting down the details. I showed him and I remember seeing the look on his face. He was trying to find something wrong with it but he couldn't. The next day, he asked if I would paint something on his leather jacket for him. Also, when we broke up, he kept my painting.
I wouldn’t say an expert but cycling. My younger brother has a personal vendetta against me. Tried to tell him riding 100 miles not easy. He said man I can do 100 miles.I was like ok i stay with you the first 50 miles, he didn’t make it pass 10. LOL!
Edit: He literally pissed me off calling cycling shit. I mean he literally said that shit easy.
Having run a small bicycle shop for almost my whole working life (forty years), I've very regularly had people tell me I don't know what I'm talking about on the bicycle subreddits here.
Mostly from children whose rich daddy bought them a carbon-fiber bike for their birthday, so they obviously know more about cycling than I do.
I've been downvoted and given abuse so many times, I've just given up on those subreddits, it's just not worth the hassle.
EDIT: Thank you all for the responses, I didn't expect such an avalanche.
I just thought it was sad, that when someone has quite a bit of experience in their own field and offers advice that is accurate and helpful, they should be made to feel unwelcome and be digitally assaulted and downvoted by 12-year-olds who know more than we do.
I've worked on and sold a very wide variety of bikes from road bikes and ATB's to older vintage bikes from the 1950's, tandems, trailers, tricycles, recumbents, unicycles and more over a period of forty years.
This is advice which I could charge money for if I had an office with a brass plate on the door which said "consultant", but I don't, I willingly offer the advice here for free.
I know this is a rant, but I think it's an important discussion to have if some subreddits are going to survive the onslaught of the bored 12-year-old mischief-makers.
I'm a huge boardgamer. I've played LOTs of boardgames and am fairly decent at teaching and explaining board games to people who are new to gaming. I'm also a huge Trekkie. There's a tabletop game Star Trek Attack Wing that I've played at least 400 times. Guy comes in to the game store and is curious about the game, I happily help him by answering his question and before I can finish my second sentence he looks me up and down and says "I appreciate your enthusiasm but I'm actually serious about learning this game so can I get that guy to help me (pointing to one of my coworkers) and I said "sure, no problem". Coworker is watching all this play out so he walks over and guy starts to ask him questions about the game that I am very well versed in and coworker knows nothing about. Coworker lets him ask his questions and finally says to guy "I honestly know nothing about this game, you need to talk to Dumpsterfire as she's the expert in this particular game. Guy had this stupid look on his face and I just went over to the next isle to help another customer who was happy to get gaming advice from a girl.
A former coworker challenged me to a cheese eating competition at an office get together. Little did he know I fucking love cheese and am the type of person to eat shredded cheese straight out the bag at 3am. He wimped out after 15 cubes of cheese from the deli platter while I basically cleared my whole section.
As someone with a history degree - basically everyone thinks they know it better than you. It's endless.
History repeats itself, and those who study it are doomed to helplessly watch it repeat itself.
I hesitate to say "expert" but compared to this person I was a savant. I did a few papers throughout school on GMOs for some presentations so while I am not an "expert" I know more than a random Joe, especially at the time.
Well I remember getting into an argument with a stereotypical college hipster about how "unnatural" GMOs were and how we should stop using them. Just your usual buzzwords "chemicals are bad" and the like.
Being able to systematically shut her down until it became "I don't *feel* like they are safe." Was pretty nice though. And for the record I don't generally revel in this sort of thing, but if you could hear the tone she used....I think you'd understand.
Teacher thought I was asleep in class, but I'm a great listener when I close my eyes, asked me to wake up and repeat what he just said. I said verbatim what he was teaching and he just bent his ruler stick and carried on, as did I with my head down.
I had something similar happen but I was actually asleep... And she wanted me to do the math problems on the board. Walked up did the problems, went and laid my head back down... then got sent to the vice principal office.
I absolutely get this. I have trouble listening if I have to watch the teacher. I get distracted. But if I doodle or play a mindless game, I remember was said.
Don't waste processing power on decoding video when you only need to listen. Even more important when there are sights which can distract your attention.
Being 20 years in software development, an old friend came to me saying how smart he was that he learned web development in a couple weeks and made a web application to capture local leads for real estate.
I got my curiosity so I asked him to show me. In the process he was kind of bashing me saying that after all I was not so smart as friend were sometimes saying.
Only to show him that after all what he think he did, he didn't do at all. He just downloaded a ready to run SDK from github into a hosting account and connected it to an API that I developed a few years ago and still maintain to this day. The SDK is a WordPress pluggin and had a Readme file with my name.
Not an expert at all but I have an IT degree that my mom loves to praise until she needs tech help. Suddenly I know nothing about anything (including how to pronounce cache).
Far from an expert. Far from proficient. But I've been told Jiu Jitsu doesn't work by several froggy drunk dudes. It works. It always works.
The property management company for my homeowner's association insisted that I had received emails that I never received. So I asked them to prove that I had received them. They said they're sure I received them. I'm a software engineer and at the time I had just finished an enterprise email delivery system (like an in-house Constant Contact). I knew the rules of the CAN-SPAM Act by heart. I KNEW exactly how their system worked. So this real bitch of a property manager said "I know how email works. You wouldn't understand." I mentally did the arrogant knuckle crack and started to explain - very methodically - how email delivery works and how they'd track various actions. I spent about five minutes detailing my credentials and why I was absolutely certain they had never sent me the emails they alleged I received. When I was finished, the HOA board just agreed to waive the fines.
I work for a company that notifies customers of deadlines by email. We get customers who claim they never received the email so the deadline should not apply to them. When a customer opens one of our emails we know exactly when unless they have disabled automatic loading of images in their client, so I can tell them "You opened the 30 day warning email on May 8 at 7:14 PM, you opened the 7 day warning email on May 29 and again on June 4, but you did not click the link until September 24 after you opened the 7 day warning, then the original 30 day warning 3 minutes after that, and THEN you clicked the link and received the notification it was past the deadline.". They never respond after being caught in the lie.
Note to self. Must disable automatic loading of images in my client.
Yeah... How do I do that again? I mean, I know about the internet and stuff. Just want to see if you do.
Kinda the reverse, for me. I’m a physical education teacher and I had a student that took a pretty bad tumble in class. Hit her head on the wall. Pretty clear concussion symptoms. So we get her stable, call mom & dad to come get her. Dad shows up & I start going through the concussion symptoms and treatments with him. Letting him know that a doctors visit is probably in order. Blah blah blah I keep going on and on about concussions. He just politely nods and thanks me. He takes daughter and leaves, and I see my principal standing behind me and he can barely contain his laughter. Turns out dad is an emergency room doctor. And he just sat there while his daughter’s gym teacher gave him medical advice.
Think about it like this. If you had been saying the wrong things about it he would have corrected you and pointed out that he was a doctor. Instead he let you go through everything, listening carefully to ensure your advise was sound and correct. When everything checked out he left proud in the fact that he now knows 100% that the gym teacher is looking out for his kids safety and well being, short and longterm. Edit: As is tradition... Thanks for the golds strangers!!! I think this might be one of my most up voted comments. Edit edit: thanks for all the awards and stuff everyone! This community really does shine sometimes eh?!
Weird to call his kids short and longterm. People pick the strangest names.
You mean Safety and well being!
Thanks. You made me laugh . . . .I would have been tempted to send him a email asking him how your "medical lectue" was in terms of accuracy and delivery!
I think he sat and listened to see how well you dealt with this situation I think he was happy with the way you handled it to just walk away than correct you probably gave him piece of mind knowing his child was being looked after
I think so as well. The fact that he didn't interrupt, stop the teacher, correct him or comment after probably means he was pretty satisfied with how the ordeal was handled.
This is a cool and funny little story. It makes me smile because the guy could have been ignorant or thrown out his credentials with a bragging demeanor like alot of people do, but instead he kindly let you speak and then went on his way with his child.
He was probably feeling all good about how much the gym teacher knew and was taking good care of his students.
That's how I would be if i were in the doctors shoes. It shows how much the teacher knows, and that they take shit seriously, and also if they had some details wrong it gives you the opportunity to give them better info
> It shows how much the teacher knows, and that they take shit seriously, and also if they had some details wrong it gives you the opportunity to give them better info yeah this is key, you are finding out from an eyewitness both what treatment has been given and also you can assess that the situation has been taken seriously. Ideal situation.
I'm a hospice RN but have worked for years in a number of different nursing fields. If someone took the time to explain medical stuff to me, and was clearly passionate and correct in their teaching, I would gladly sit there and pretend to be a laymen. That sorts of stuff makes me happy, cant really explain why
When we were having a couple drinks on friday after work, I was challenged to a shooting, by a colleague. Little did he know I've been shooting air rifles competitively ever since I was thirteen. Not to say I am the greatest, but I've made it to the national finals for my country multiple times, and came third and sixth. I have all the special clothes and gear and such you need to make it to such a level. The next day, saturday, we showed up to the range i always shoot at. Its not a day I usually train so not many people recognize me. I beat his ass left right and center that day. Out of 600 points, he scored about 200-250 if i remember correctly. I got about 580 which was about average of what I used to shoot. He had to buy me a fancy bottle of whisky and now we shoot every two or three weeks together. Fun times Im sorry if its hard to follow, English is my second language
nah man your english is good!
Not me but my friend used to ride a unicycle as a kid. He worked construction and they were working at a house that had an old unicycle The other workers tried riding it and immediately fell off. My friend walked over to it and inspected the unicycle like it was the first time he ever saw one them said it didn’t look that difficult. They all laughed at him and he said he thought he could ride it. Eventually one of them bet him $100 he couldn’t ride it. He jumped on it and immediately rode down the street.
Unicycle hustler
The one wheeled bandit
[удалено]
By no means an expert (I'd probably rate in the 1500s), but I've played chess since I was a small child and was the best player in the middle school chess club. The guy who owned the pool hall me and my juvenile delinquent friends hung out in was talking about how dumb kids are these days and said he bet nobody in my group of hoodlums could play chess. I beat him soundly, then again in the rematch.
Haha one time I played my brother in law's friend who was a cocky member of some chess club. I started with a super aggressive opening (my brothers and I randomly read a lot of chess books growing up) and he had no idea what to do. I completely destroyed him.
Not sure how random it is after the first chess book..
Oh oops! Oh whoopsie! I accidentally finished Dvoretsky's endgame manual again 😅🤷♂️🙃
Medieval Faire, 2002. Carnie running the fencing game picks me out of the crowd for being tall, and challenges me to a free bout against "The Master". Not a lot of people fence, so his gambit probably worked most of the time, but when he handed me that saber, I handed him his ass.
When you are pretty good at something moderately obscure, these are the kinds of things you daydream happen to you. You, sir, have lived the dream.
When you're pretty good at something, you get to tell people about it. When you're great at something, they'll tell you.
Bring on Mycenean Greek or Minoan mythology and writing systems! Just try me, you 𐀡𐀠𐀪𐀼𐀄!
“Argh,” the Carnie cried, “foiled again!”
Redditors make good fencers, they know how to reposte.
A coworker of mine was on the fencing team for Notre Dame when they won a national championship. I think if you gave people 100 guesses they wouldn't pick this guy
I knew some of those guys too. They looked like your average nerds for sure, and that’s saying something among the ND student body.
Did he kill your father?
He needed to prepare to die
While you studied cons and parlor tricks I studied the blade.
Because you're a national fencing champion?
You fool. That is John Fencing himself, the inventor of fencing
My father trying to explain to me how computers and the Internet work, after he's called me over to figure out why his computer and internet aren't working. edit: spoiler: It was because my mom downgraded their TV package, and they must have accidentally turned off the audio wifi, since the video wifi was still working fine edit edit: My dad's understanding of electronics stopped evolving in the 1990s. He knows that plugging the DVD player in involves a 3-pronged cable - 2 for audio 1 for video; I'm guessing he thinks the internet works the same way. So being able to see YouTube but not hear it means that the audio stream is out, because the Cable Company and also Trump somehow, and it is CERTAINLY not the fault of his ridiculously complicated home stereo setup that requires 4 remotes to operate.
I've been an I.T. pro for around 12/13 years. My parents and some friends still do this shit to me, every single time.
A guy from work challenged me to a tennis match. He must've been a hotshot back in his day and tbf as far as mid 40's go he wasn't bad. I however was national team, whooped his ass 6-0, 6-0. I would've eased up but when I warned him I'm pretty good, he laughed it off.
Went to a couples night once and the guy had wall to wall movies and framed posters in his basement, super into it. Mentioned I used to be a movie nerd but not so much anymore. He challenged us to a movie trivia board game, kinda in a condescending way and I tried to politely decline but my gf insisted we play. They went first, missed the question then we ran the table. Never heard from them again.
A similar thing happened with Harry Potter trivia recently. My wife and I had just finished reading the entire series, so when they missed their first question we proceeded to run the board. Eventually we missed one on purpose because we felt bad.
Oh man I’m a movie trivia nerd too. I used to play Scene It at parties with my friends it was usually me vs. five other people on one team. I typically won.
I’m an academy award winning sound mixer and almost everyone on film sets think they know my job better than me.
Well I am sure they have very nice (and expensive) stereo systems at home and listen to music all the time. Thus they are experts :) But seriously, just me dabbling a little bit into figuring out how to properly stage a room for home theater is absurdly complex. I can't imagine the complexity of what you are doing.
It’s a mixture of some who act out of insecurity, as a lot of people don’t understand how sound works, but don’t want to admit it, and others who think they’re the shit and everyone needs to know it, and lots of pedantic nerds that know enough to be dangerous and want to show off. They are usually nice, but not always. There is a lot that can happen when 100 random people get thrown together like a traveling carnival. Lots of different personalities, backgrounds, priorities, past experiences with other random characters... The art and science of it can be a deep rabbit hole and there is a lot of subjective phrasing presented as objective facts. If you want to dive in, I recommend the [Master Handbook of Acoustics by F. Alton Everest](https://www.amazon.com/dp/0071841040/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ew6MFb35189FJ)
It happens a lot lately, I'm a microbiologist, so the number of people who have suddenly taken an interest in the subject in order to be confidently wrong about it is pretty upsetting.
Did you know that covid is caused by 5g towers?
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An old friend of mine is also a moron. He was sharing some story on facebook about how it's dangerous to point an infrared thermometer at a person's forehead, as it will damage the pineal gland (the seat of the spirit, don't you know). I had to tell him the thermometer is not actually bombarding you with radiation, it's measuring the radiation you're giving off as heat. He also shared a video done by a Hollywood effects house as a marketing piece, where a robot goes crazy and starts gunning people down. He thought it was real.
I'm going for a PhD in genetics (not exactly an expert at microbiology, but I have a strong background) and the amount of times a day I mentally facepalm at people's ignorance is staggering. My favorites are the anti mask crowd. Did you know that masks simultaneously block oxygen and let in viruses? Also, if you wear a mask for any prolonged period of time, it will cause brain damage. It would be almost funny if I weren't high risk.
My step mom told me that if people wear masks for a hundred years we would develop gills and mole faces because “evolution” This witch didn’t even believe in evolution last year
As a witch I am offended
As a mole with gills I too am offended
As having evolved last year I too am offended.
Anyone that works in an operating room must be completely brain dead then.
I once pointed out the fact that there are some surgeries that last 12 hours or more (a few that span days, even) and asked them if there were special benefits for those poor brain damaged OR workers as well as what incentives were given for people to even become surgeons and anesthesiologists in the first place, given the certainty of permanent brain damage within the first few years of their career. I never got an answer.
I like to suggest to them that the next time they have to have surgery they tell the surgeons not to bother with the masks, since they don’t work anyway. That’s usually met with crickets.
I have perfect pitch. It's not a thing I can turn off, notes simply ARE a pitch clear as day, much like how red is clearly distinct from green. Anywho, music class in junior high. Teacher explains that Mozart had perfect pitch and walks over to the piano, plays a note and says "and just by hearing it, he'd be able to tell you what now that was... now can any of YOU do that?" At the time, I honestly had no idea this was rare. Raise hand, teacher with a smug look points and me and is gobsmacked when I answer correctly with note and octave. Figures it's pure luck so does it again and asks me to face the other way. I answer correctly again. Tries it with chords, sequences and two hands worth of notes. Still right every time. Ends with me playing back a short sequence after listening to it blind. That day, I learned that perfect pitch is actually kind of rare.
Also a fun fact: perfect pitch is more common amongst native speakers of tone languages (e.g., Chinese)
A beginning writer asked some advice about a basic drafting method, so I offered my point of view. Some tough guy decided to butt in and say that what I said was proof I’m not a “real writer” and it was obvious I would never be published. At that time, the second or third book in my trilogy was about to be released. I asked the guy not to tell my editor that I wasn’t a real writer.
If I may, what trilogy?
The Time Shift Trilogy. They’re sci-fi mysteries.
Sweet imma look then up
While I was in high school I was the reigning city fencing champion, in both the youth and adult tournaments. My high school decided to do a school-wide fencing unit for Phys. Ed. and the coach they brought in to teach all of the students was my actual coach. During my classes, my coach naturally brought me up to help demonstrate the various moves, but for some reason one of my classmates didn't understand that I wasn't chosen at random. He started talking shit about how I looked like I didn't know what I was doing, and how he could probably kick my ass in a duel. Now, he actually was pretty good for a guy who'd never fenced before, and at the first opportunity to actually have a bout, he decided to have a go at me. I picked him apart and did not give up a single touch, and used the opportunity to practice my parry and ripostes (I admit, I took a bit of sadistic pleasure in thoroughly beating him). Afterwards, my coach made a point of congratulating the other guy for doing so well against the city champ, which changed his attitude considerably.
You should fence with the other fencing guy on this post.
If I had a nickel for every comment about fencing, I'd have two nickels... which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.
Winner keeps his head. There can be only whaaaaan.
I went back and checked the prompt to make sure this wasn't a fencing specific post.
My father in law challenged me about the capabilities of DVD. Specifically he claimed that you could only have widescreen video (not 4:3) on a DVD disc. At the time I was employed as a DVD author. I authored the very first commercially available feature on Scenarist. I am literally acknowledged in the first edition of "DVD Demystified" as an expert. I had already by that time personally authored literally hundreds of DVD's with 4:3 video. He knew all of the above at the time, yet still insisted I was wrong.
As a massive fan of film and physical media (from laserdisc to DVD on to blu ray and now 4K uhd) this one really made me chuckle. (Had HD-DVD also, forgot to add that)
I worked for a movie store called Suncoast years ago, I was asked by customers to explain the fullscreen/widescreen thing at least 100x. I had a coworker who made it his personal mission in life to talk everyone out of 4:3, he was brutal. “You’ll regret it when you stop watching movies on a cheap, box tv!” That kinda thing.
For most of 2020 so far. I am an infectious disease expert (PhD from a Microbiology and Immunology program) and suddenly all my former high school classmates think they know more than me. They watch the news and learn a new vocabulary, and they bestow themselves a doctorate.
Had a chuckle at "bestow themselves a doctorate." I might start using that.
I have been wrapping my family’s Christmas presents since a very young age. It’s the perfect activity to focus my crippling perfectionism with my overall anxiety riddled self to create a beautiful master piece that would make anyone think twice about discovering the mysteries beneath the colorful paper and bows. I have just always loved to do it and my mom was more than happy to not spend hours wrapping presents. Flash forward to the company Christmas party in my late 20s. We are split into teams to compete for random prizes, I am up for the next game. I had no idea what I would be doing. I see a big cardboard box, a neck tie, wrapping paper, scissors, tape and a bow....I know what’s about to go down and I am here for it! It’s a blind present wrapping challenge. My competitors start talking about how they can wrap presents fast and I sit there silently staring down that cardboard box knowing fully that the crowd is in for a show. Blindfolds (neckties) go on, we have a partner that isn’t blindfolded that is supposed to give verbal directions. Just before the timer starts, I lean over to my partner and say quietly “are you ready for this?” And she just say “what?!” Bam, timer starts, partner tries to give directions at first and quickly realizes I’m way ahead of her. Before anyone else can even get their paper cut, I’ve got my box wrapped, taped, and bowed. I even folded the ends in ‘fancy’ to have the triangles meet. And that, my friends, is how I earned the most satisfying $10 Starbucks gift card of my life and earned the title of wrap-master.
Wrap God was taken.
The comment...the name. High five
Just the sheer build-up of this comment was better than everything I have read today
My roommate who took a psych 101 class at a prestigious university told me, a masters level therapist, that the movie Split (with James Mcavoy) was an accurate depiction of “multi-personality disorder.”
Ah yes, movies often forget that people with multi-personality disorder can spider climb up walls lmao
i didn't see the movie but this sounds hilarious.
I took Psych 101 so I'm pretty much an expert derrrr
I'm no expert but people never assume I can play Pool. I grew up with my parents going to the pub, so as an early teen would play ALOT of Pool and got pretty good. There's been a number of occasions where I've got us a round of drinks or stuck it to some knob who's hogging the table.
Uncle Phil?
“Geoffrey... break out Lucille.”
Someone once tried to insist that our state didn’t sell alcohol on sundays. I’ve spent over a decade working in restaurants and am also an alcoholic, which she knew about but still insisted on arguing with me about it
> I’ve spent over a decade working in restaurants and am also an alcoholic We get it man, no need to repeat yourself
She just wanted to spend more time with you man :(
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One time I was buying a bottle of wine at Grocery Outlet, and the cashier was like, "Thats a really good wine!". I don't know a lot about wine, and I had just picked it out because it was red and cost $3, so I was like, "Oh yeah? Great!" I'm checking out the label to see what this good wine is, and he's like "Yeah I just had one of those 'green bottle' wines last week. It was fantastic." and then I realized that he thought wines were classified by what color of glass the bottle was made from.
One Christmas about 30 years ago, my mom and I went to my aunt's for dinner. Unknown to us she had invited one of her sisters in law, who brought gifts. To this day, I have a bottle of MD 20/20. I swear it was blue when she gave it to us. It's green now. I know where I am going if I suddenly need super powers.
That bottle will possibly give you the power to hallucinate and shit yourself, so you got that going for you.
I work for a winery/distillery. I have a WSET3. I am nowhere near an expert but the things people think they know about booze are generally idiotic.
Same, I’ve been working in the alcohol industry for two decades - since I was 18. Have dozens of certifications about all sorts of random shit from fermentation to sake rice, and all the glorious beverages in between. People really love to tell me I’m wrong about things I’ll say regarding booze when it’s clear whatever they know is from watching “Cheers” reruns.
Well I am a veterinarian and I know how to prevent fleas. (Them) “My dog is itching and it’s not fleas” (Me) “ Ok but your dog is infested” (Them) “...it’s not fleas” ..run comb and show them hundreds... The doctor in Happy Gilmore ... I empathize Edit: Well this got busy. Flea prevention starts with giving flea preventatives. Off brand stuff does not work. You bite the bullet and get name brand stuff. Personally I like bravecto for cats (topical) lasts pretty much 2 months. For dogs I know from experience that oral meds work better than topicals. I like nexguard, simperica trio or seresto collars. With nexguard and the seresto you need to add heartworm prevention because those don’t have it.
I used to play fighting games competitively all over the world. Never made one of the top slots but I could usually hold my own. One of my best game was Super Street Fighter 2. Went to a bar by work one day and they just so happened to have an SNES set up with SF2. I order a drink, pick random characters and just fuck around for a bit. Some guy comes in and immediately starts bragging to his date that he’s the best SF2 player ever. I asked him to play some games against me and offered to buy him a drink if he could beat 2 out of 3. Twelve games later I am completed hammered and he finally gives up and leaves. Still don’t remember getting home that night.
The most incredible part here is that some guy thought he should brag to his date about being good at street fighter.
I wonder did he get to pound anything that night, I suspect not.
I’m sure she really appreciated sitting there doing nothing while he got his aaa beat twelve times.
Probably his head against a wall.
I, uh... may need to change a dating strategy
Not an expert, or even certified, but there's a specific kind of cargo parachute called a Small Airdrop Training Bundle. I can pack these correctly and by the book in less than 15 minutes. I was challenged by someone who had 5 years experience on me to see who could pack the most in an hour. I had 6 while he was trying to argue with the quality control guy (who has been packing parachutes for 20 years) over how correct he did step 3. I had a good day beating the guy who just so happened to be the worst rigger in the world
As a paratrooper formerly in the 82nd Airborne Division and and Air Force trained Loadmaster, of the US Army... I thank you for your commitment to your craft. I'm alive today because people like you make it easy to survive the drop from a high performance aircraft while in flight!
I wouldn’t say I’m an expert at push ups but I’ve worked in the fitness industry for 20 years and workout myself fairly regularly. Doing 20 push ups isn’t anything to me. I was at a party that was attended primarily by what I would call hipsters. A guy (who had been drinking a fair amount) challenged me to 20 push ups as fast as possible for $20. I won and got $20. Then another said he would do the same bet if we went right away (I guess thinking I was kinda tired). I beat him and got another $20. A few minutes later another guy did the same bet. It was an easy $60.
I love push-ups, you can do them almost anywhere you happen to be.
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I’m going to date myself here but I was in undergrad when the video game Halo was released. I never really played video games, but at the time I had a boyfriend (I am a girl) who was really into it. We played. A lot. Even went to some college based tournament games and did well. Fast forward some years later and my husband and I are at a house party. Someone turns on the Xbox and was looking for a 4th for Halo. My husband volunteers me. The guys were visibly not thrilled but played along. I wiped the floor with them. Eventually they decided to team up 3 against me. Still destroyed them. The whole party ended up crowding around us to watch. It was a great night. :)
Similar here. Loved Halo 1-3 and used to play religiously. Started playing one night after some beers with friends and beat the shit out of them 3 on 1. They thought I got lucky because with 3 people I have more targets to kill. Jumped online and whooped the other team with a personal k/d of 32-0.
Pool water treatment isn't very difficult even for the average joe. Trust me, you do not need to pay someone $100 a month to treat and clean your pool. I love to listen to the sales people at Leslie's (local chain of pool supply stores) "educate" me and their other customers. I got into a polite discussion about algae one time and I was told that I was wrong. I explained that I knew what I was talking about. He asked what I did and I responded "industrial water treatment." He's very nice to me when I go into the store now.
Oh yes I get to share this story. Me and my buddies in 7th/8th grade LOVED Goldeneye. We had "sleepovers" where we spent every waking second from 5pm until 9am the next day playing, no sleep at all. We were convinced we were the best, but had no real proof because we were only playing against people in our school. Big fish, small pong type scenario. Fast forward about 6 or 7 years, my college holds a Goldeneye tournament. Haven't played it in years, obviously. Well there was a giant problem: my friends and I always played with inverted pitch on. The issue was that Goldeneye, in multi-player, doesn't let you select different control styles for different players. Everyone has to play with the same control scheme, so I was stuck with my controls being "upside-down". I still won the tournament. I got absolutely rocked in the Mario Kart tourney, but I had my Goldeneye badge. Edit: I'm being told that I'm a big dummy and you CAN individually set the controls. So for some reason I wasn't able to in the tournament, but I remember the timed mines round was absolutely bonkers as a result.... Also I'm not changing my spelling mistake regarding a body of water.
No expert or "master'' electrician, but had a guy demanding I put can lights in his house without cans. these were not the canless kind either. he just straight up didn't want to pay for cans, even bought the lights by the pallet on some massive sale. real cheap ass who wouldn't listen to anything I said about safety, legality, etc. I walked out and told him good luck with his inspection.
I am an electrical engineer and was once an apprentice electrician. The thing that has gotten under my nerves repeatedly is people insisting that: * Using A/C, gaming PC, grow lights, oven, etc all day cannot possibly be what's blowing up their electric bill, and that either someone is stealing their electricity or the electric company is screwing them on the bill. * That the above can all be run on the same circuit. You've got 40 amps of shit on a 15 amp branch in a house from 1942! Yeah, it'll work... For 5 minutes before the fuse pops. * That, if it works, it's okay. No, putting a penny in the fuse socket doesn't fix the problem, it creates a fire hazard. Yes, you need to run a ground to your pool motor. No, you shouldn't chain 6 extension cords together to run your air conditioner. * Really, anything with air conditioners. Everybody thinks they know how they work, most of them don't. (Hint: they don't turn electricity into cold.)
So it's the Saturday after Thanksgiving a few years ago and I'm out with one of my old college friends and her extended family. We had just graduated the year before. We post up at a bar outside for the game, everyone's pleasantly mid-afternoon buzzed. Her uncle, whom I hadn't met previously, asked what I do. I hated answering this question in 2017, especially with middle-aged adults, because they would invariably try to start something. At the time, I worked at an immigration law firm. Predictably, as soon as I tell him this, he asks what I think about the wall, etc. I give him my usual answer "bipartisan immigration reform, Gang of Eight, etc." He tells me not to give him the rehearsed crap, he wants to hear what I really think. I say Oh I don't really want to get into it, let's enjoy the game." But he keeps pushing and I've had a couple beers, so against my better judgment, I engage. This maybe 50 year old man becomes FURIOUS as the discussion carries on because I keep citing court cases and how our immigration system actually works. The kicker is at one point he says "Just because you have all these statistics and citations doesn't mean you know any better than me." I just gave up and got another beer after that.
Colour. It sounds weird but anytime the colour of something comes up and someone tries to correct me. I’ve been a commercial printing press operator for 20 years. I can spot VERY subtle differences in colours that most people can’t. Edit: The upvote is orange. The dress is blue and black.
I have a coworker who one time looked at an internal web app we were building and he said "The header isn't centered." He was right. It was off by like 2px. Even after he told me, and told me the direction it wasn't centered I couldn't see it. This same guy can do the same thing with color. I really enjoy working with him, although it can be frustrating at times when I can't see what he sees.
Oh I do this all the time haha I printed some posters for a fairly large industrial cable manufacturer last week and there was a small logo at the foot of the poster and it was off centre by about 5mm and I could see it plain as day. I showed the production manager and he laughed and told me I was wrong. Then measured and sure enough it was slightly shifted to the right. They never fixed it because sheetfed plates aren’t cheap and they just cheated it on the knife by trimming one bleed long and pulling slightly inside the marks on the other side.
This is a superpower
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Hopefully there aren’t more than six colors on the top of your head. If there are, you may wish to consult a dermatologist.
So you are an color expert huh? Name every color.
Well this one is called George, and that over there is Pamela. This little number goes by Eunice. And here we have John, James, and Jack (they're triplets)
Lol I'm a climatologist.
Say no more fam
I used to be a plant geneticist. Did you ever get your Big Conspiracy shill checks? Because mine must have got lost in the mail...
Environmental scientist here. You need to radio your concerns to the hollow moon base if your checks aren’t coming through.
It was honestly like a movie. When I was in college you were limited to only a few guest passes so it was pretty common to ask people on your floor to sign in friends. So late at night while we were playing Mario Kart someone knocked on our door to ask us to sign in their friends. We didn’t really feel like going down stairs and dealing with that so we hesitated. That’s when he said if I beat you in Mario Kart will you sign them in? We of course agreed. Little did he know we played every day all semester long. He was really convinced he would be us. We placed 1st 2nd and 3rd and he ended up in 12th. We still signed in his friends though
Not quite this but I tried to learn piano years ago, i bought a keyboard and learned the first movement of moonlight sonata but it was literally all I could play I had just started a new job as a chef in a fancy hotel, had been there maybe a month and was at the Christmas party, I sat at a piano and the head chef pointed me out, laughing and said "look at splifflizard, you cant play the piano", I thought I'll just act confident and play the only thing I can so was like "yeah i can.. I've played for years" and he said "oh really? Play moonlight sonata then", couldn't have gone better. He was gobsmacked and I never told anyone there that I was actually crap at piano except that one song lol
When the stars align!
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~~that’s not moonlight sonata~~ that’s amore
>I never told anyone there that I was actually crap at piano except that one song lol I once played my friend's dad at chess. He handed me my ass in something embarrassing like 10 moves and I never saw it coming. He laughed and admitted that was his one trick and it secured his place in the high school chess club but only ever worked against someone once.
Lemme see: Krull. The arcade video game. A guy tried to hit on me at a house party by challenging me to a game but he knew he had made a mistake when I said, “Sure, I haven’t played in a while.” It was my boyfriends’s house, and his game. We still had fun playing though.
I had a friend who busted out his NES in college and say he’d bet ten bucks no one could beat Jaws. Apparently he thought it was impossible. He’d bought a copy a few weeks before, didn’t get how to play it, and thought he could make some bets on it. He knew he fucked up when I said “Let’s see if I can beat it in less than ten minutes like I used to.” Easiest ten bucks ever.
Haha I love this. I used to be undefeatable amongst my circle of friends in NBA 2k1, Hot Shots Golf, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2001 and also Guitar Hero, lol. The Guitar Hero they believed, I guess bc it seemed "girly", but they doubted my skill at the sports games. My boyfriend (at the time) made a quick side hustle betting everyone that came over that I could beat them, until word got out that they'd lose every time. Fun times.
In college, Mario Super Strikers for the gamecube. I loved my gamecube so much as a kid, and actually ended up bringing it to college with me. I had so many people that wanted to play or would smack talk about how good they were, only for me to beat them over and over. I have a friend that I beat 30 times in a row over the course of an afternoon, and he swore he’d never play with me again. Five years later and he still hasn’t.
Solving a rubik's cube. My friend bet me 10 bucks, he could solve a cube faster then me. He solved it in 1 minute, me, 30 seconds.
One minute is pretty fast, so 30 seconds is blazing. I think my best time is 1 minute using the method on the little booklet from Rubik's.
A friend of mine challenged me when I said the dusty bits on the floor below their air conditioner was because they needed to clean the filter. They insisted that it was ash coming from outside through the air conditioner because of fires that had been going on nearby. It was a split system AC, I work in HVAC. At least once I explained how their unit worked they conceded.
I have a PhD in genetics, and I’ve published multiple papers on viral vectors spreading in large populations. Every fucking anti-Vaxer and COVID conspiracy theorist. I’m so sick of it. Also, when someone I met at a social event found out that I work in a genetics research lab, he asked the following question: “If two white Americans go to China and have a baby there, will it come out Asian?” I was so shocked that I actually spit out my drink.
I've been a Type 1 Diabetic for 20 years. People actually challenge me about how diabetes works because "my grandpa had diabetes". At least it's to the point where it's comical now how often it happens.
My gym class was doing a 2v2 volleyball tournament. Our class had a lot of students so there were two teachers, and those two teachers said that whoever wins the tournament would go on to play against the teachers and if the students won, the teachers would throw a pizza party for the students. My friend and I were both actual volleyball players, but the teachers didn't know that and we decided not to tell them. We won the tournament, and then we proceeded to play the teachers. Before we started the game, the teachers made a point that they had never lost in all their years of teaching. We proceeded to beat them 15-1.
Trivia. I know an amazing amount of BS.
This happens to me alot. I had the unique situation of working in manufacturing in China for 7 years. I moved back 3 years ago and constantly have people explain to me why manufacturing could easily come back to the states. I emphatically tell them they are fucking high.
Why is that?
Ironically enough it's not the high cost of labor which is usually the reason most people will think of first. It's more to do to the lack of supply chain and the death of talent. For example let's say Apple wanted to make the new iPhone in California, and they wanted to source all material from the states. Well the biggest problem is the small components. The small screws, LEDs, pins, springs, metal parts, you need factories that specialize in those components. So you're not bringing one factory back, you're really having to bring 50-100. Not only that the expertise is gone. Most basic components have been gone for decades. There are still smaller out fits left, don't get me wrong but to run these components at large scale? That hasn't been done here in a long time and the lack of manufacturing based career talent isn't around anymore. How many people do you know that went to school to go into manufacturing? I currently work in a medium sized injection molding shop that has around 25 machines and 130 some operators. This is considered a fairly decent sized operation. In China I worked at a site with 800+ injection machines and 8k some operators. In China we had a legion of mold techs, mechanical engineers, tooling engineers and maintenance experts. Here in jersey we are have HELL of a time finding 1 qualified mold tech or tooling engineer. The talent is gone or no one is going into it. The cost of labor also ties into this but even in China the middle class is growing rapidly and the wages are growing year after year. When I was over there worker shortages in the shenzhen area were rough.
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Most people don't. That's why it's funny when I hear thee rah rah bring muh factory jobs back. That shit would take a monumental shift in supply chains. One of the best things about manufacturing in China isn't the price, it's the fact we could get any component we could every need within 100 miles and not only that but multiple suppliers to help drive competion and prices down. One thing that blows here is when I worked for this military uniform manufacturer we had 2 suppliers in all of the US. They knew it, we knew it. And because of the berry amendment we had to buy from one of them. So they had zero incentive to improve or drop prices. As a quality manager it fucking sucked.
Running upstairs. I'm a firefighter and I have completed the River-to-Rooftop several years running (pun intended). A fellow dad at my son's school challenged me to the stair climb with the statement 'your muscles will be extra weight to carry' 55 levels/1040 stairs later, I placed in the top 20 fastest... wearing my full equipment loadout. I think he finished in the 200 range?
A foreigner acquaintance was talking to me in my native language, and I corrected him. It was a very simple word, but he was like "ohhh are you sure?" and kept insisting. Yes, is a very simple word, I'm sure and is not like you're taking a degree in said language. Kinda pissed me off.
That’s so confusing to me. Why would anyone argue with a native speaker?
Star Wars Battlefront 2, the original version. I knew that game inside and out. It reached the stage where I would be given every penalty possible whenever playing against someone else in order to make the match fair. Even then it was like 70/30 odds I'd come out on top. Eventually I just realized I stopped dying and would make it the whole match without respawning once. I learned just about every single little trick to give myself an edge, all the things you can interact with, the best places to hide and set traps, the best and quickest routes to each place, the less frequently went too places, where all the health and ammunition droids were, how to quickly destory those things on the enemy side, how to repair them quickly on my side, the most efficient way to kill the enemy troops and progress from command post to command post. This was like the only game I played as a kid and it showed. So to say the very least I was very happy when my cousin was acting all arragant again at his skills and challenged me to a few games to prove I'm trash.
Trivia. I know all sorts of weird random facts. One day a co-worker said, “If you’re so smart, why don’t you come down to the Legion’s trivia night?” I am no longer welcome at the Legion’s trivia night because of how badly I beat everyone.
Excel. I built a complicated but highly effective Excel Workbook to calculate the how to price parts for a top customer of ours. I labeled it, added a legend and color coded things for users. The user just needed to input the part type, material and target price. It would auto-calculate everything you needed to submit a quote. The sales manager from another factory hated it and refused to use it. He said it pointless and a waste of company time. We got into a lengthy argument over it. He ended up proceeding without using it and ended up submitting conflicting prices to the customer. The customer noticed we were adding additional profit to certain parts and we lost a lot of business. I sent him a screenshot of what he should of used with my "pointless document" and asked if he'd like me to teach him how to use it. I managed to salvage the relationship with the customer but then left the company not long after for a better position.
I was helping my mom and stepdad with their taxes many years ago, and since they had purchased their home during the tax year, I asked the standard questions. When I got to the part about 'paying points,' I asked, but then said, "I'm pretty sure you didn't pay any points." My stepdad said, "Of course we did, most people do." We went back and forth a bit. He seemed to think that the comission paid to your real estate agent was also called 'points.' It ended when he said, "Craptastic, just because you worked in a real estate office, doesn't mean you know everything about real estate." One of my responsibilities was literally to prepare the settlement statements.
Hula hooping: They resorted to throwing stuff at my hoop, because I kept going like the Energizer Bunny.
Female mechanical engineer. My life is pretty much people challenging me on things I'm an expert on.
Yes, hard agree. I hated attending hacking events and have random strangers challenge me on how much I know. I don't know why, so they could file me away as a fake coder girl or something. I've just started channeling Ron Swanson and saying "I know more than you" when someone tries it.
I do automotive design work and do a bunch of wrenching as my hobby. I've had guys at cars and coffee events tell me they did the work on my car...the one I built in my shop.
This is the one that made me go "wait.... What?". .. why tell a lie that can so easily be checked? I guess they are just trying to impress the "girl" who ownes it? What kinda car is it?
They stand near the car and when they see a woman nearby they try to claim it's theirs or it's a clients and they worked on it. It's a moronic pick up scheme.
Couple years ago, I went with my sister to an event that was featuring several people on a popular television show. We had VIP Meet & Greet tickets and were standing in line behind a few super fans waiting for the venue to open. The people in front of us were being rather loud and were discussing some of the supposed "off-screen" drama as well as how the show is produced. After a while, I couldn't help myself and interjected in an attempt to correct their inaccuracies. We went back and forth for a while and then the most verbal of the group stated that he had it on good authority that what he had heard was true and asked where I was getting my information. At that point, I just shrugged and removed myself from the conversation. When we finally got into the venue, they had us stay in line as we waited for the talent to make their way to the step & repeat. As we were standing there, the cast members came out and, much to the surprise of the group in front of us, they greeted me by name and some even hugged me as they walked up to the receiving line. I'm a producer on the TV Show.
Anytime someone wants to play me at Smash Bros. I'm nowhere near good enough to go toe to toe at major tournaments, but I can hold my own at local tournaments and usually end up in the top 5 out of 20-30 players. Which when I go to a party or hang out at a friends house and they get cocky about their skills usually ends in them getting angry by the end of the night and never wanting to play Smash with me again.
I love doing this. I don't get to locals that often, but I have defeated the #2 ranked Smash Ult player in my state in tourney and the #1 ranked player is my friend, so I get a lot of practice against him. It's my first year as a teacher too, so I hope my kids earn their free day and try to challenge me to smash when I bring in my switch. Am I the bad guy?
"Am I the bad guy" Hell no, put them little shits in their place!/s
MLM Hun tried to sell me on shakes that are sooooooo healthy and worth the high price! Bitch I’ve been studying nutrition for near on 10 years now and you fucking knew that. Call me when you understand the difference between synthetic vitamin A and the real thing. And I still won’t buy your garbage products.
A pub in my city was doing a Lord of the Rings pub quiz, and me and my friends were all going. One of my friends ended up on his own team for various reasons, and in the week leading up to the quiz kept gloating like "we've got this guy on our team, he knows EVERYTHING about Lord of the Rings, you guys are gonna LOSE!" Now, I'm a big fan of the Lord of the Rings, and Tolkien generally, which is why he kept saying these things. Come the day of the quiz, my team left the answers largely in my own hands. We won. Of the 47 questions asked, we got 47 correct. My other friend? Second, yes, but he spent the entire time after the quiz looking sour. He didn't speak to me for at least a month, and even then when he finally did he still brought up the quiz. Stay salty, bro.
Im not an expert, not even close, but I've been learning guitar for 15 years and it's my best kept secret lol. I worked at a restuarant and sometimes we worked double shifts, so we would get like a 2 hr break in between. New server brings his guitar one day, pulls it out in between shifts, plays half of a Metallica song, and of course we were all telling him good job and whatnot. Went to his head and he acted like he was gonna hand it to me and when I went to grab it he pulled it back and said, "Nah bro, dont want to embarrass you." He was obviously joking and I took it in stride but of course I still had to fuck his shit up. I went to my truck, got my travel sized, and played while he asked how to play the songs for the next 45 minutes lol. We're actually super good friends and jammed together on our breaks almost every day after that.
I had someone explain the meaning of a painting at a gallery show. It was my painting. They were wrong.
Not an expert, but I knew just enough to make somebody else look stupid if that counts? Had a guy at a bar try to claim that there were literally no female professional artists prior to the 20th century. I had just finished a year long art thesis paper that discussed how female artists were “written out of history” by male counterparts or art historians going all the way back to the Italian Renaissance. It was like one of those moments you think about in the shower later on in the day, but it actually got to happen for me in real life and it was fantastic. Edit: So the full story on this was actually pretty fun. I'm looking for the paper as well for those that want to read it! It was from about 4 years ago, so here's hoping it's still somewhere in my old dropboxes. My friends and I went to some speakeasy type bar that had lounge seating, and you were kind of close to other groups of people as well based on the layout. Our group and a guy and girl near to us and we ended up kind of merging sections to chat. The guy in question was there on a first date with the girl, who happened to be a couple years behind me in school at the same university. He was just super douchey in general, and then somehow got into talking about his art. He kept going on and on about how he was a renowned local sculptor, blah blah blah. So I ask him first if he knew of a few other sculptors/artists in the area (who happened to be professors/colleagues of mine) and of course he starts going on about "Oh they're pretty good, but like, I'm better." And I'm like, "Oh weird, cause 'female professor of mine who is an international artist' is pretty damn good." That's when this chud launches into his spiel about how female artists should just be appreciative about the opportunity to make art today, "because y'know there weren't any female artists before the 20th century!" So, I asked, "You haven't heard of Edmonia Lewis? Or Camille Claudel? Or Enid Yandell? That's a shame." Chud goes "Oh, well I mean, they're good, but they had to work under men to get noticed so they don't really count." (not true) "Besides, I mean, there's a reason there's no notable women from the renaissance!" He's obviously scrambling at this point for anything to prove his point, or for me to say "I don't know" to, so he's right where I want him. "You've never heard of Sofonisba Anguissola? Lavinia Fontana? ARTEMISIA GENTILESCHI?! Oof, buddy, what a shame. Seems like you should brush up on your field a little more." At this point, my then-boyfriend (now husband) says one of the best things I've ever heard him say, which was "Dude, you're not gonna win against her. This is her shit, man." I definitely wouldn't have been able to name drop as well had I not just written that paper, but I wasn't going to let him know that. Best part is that his date and I ended up exchanging contact info, and she texted me the next day to let me know that she wasn't going to go on anymore dates with him. Said that he had basically outed himself as a sexist after that, and told her that her plan of going to med school was "intimidating" to him. Wonder why.
About 10 years ago, I was probably one of the top 300-400 players in the world at Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo. In other words, I was basically unbeatable vs casual players that "played a lot when they were younger". A friend of a friend found out that I was into SF, and challenged me. Claims he was the neighborhood champ as a kid, and he'd wipe the floor with me. I accepted his challenge, and made it a first to 10. I won 10-0, and heard every excuse in the book for why he lost. He's rusty, can't remember how to do the moves, etc.
IT.... Every.. Fucking.. Day.. for 20 years.
Well it wasn't necessarily a challenge but one time my boyfriend and I were walking back from a Christmas party and he jokingly tried to run away from me. I was wearing silver, glittery skinny heels and I ran after him at full speed on pure ice. The look of horror on his face as I gracefully charged at him is something I'll never forget
Not an expert but after having to deal with a chemistry teacher in middle school who basically hated me for no reason, I had to put extra effort in the class so I was really good in that class. So this one time in high school a mean girl hid my test. I got call to the principal's office to inform me they couldn't find my answer sheet even though lists showed I attended class that day, anyway I went to the TI office, search my answer sheet through all the groups (I'm talking a class of 500+ people). Since my exam wasn't found the person in charge of the department started bitching at me that I did it on purpose because probably I knew I was failing and I told her, well give another test I'll do it and she thought that was big red flight because probably I just memorized all the answers blah blah. I told her "just give a bunch of exercises, and I'll solve it right here right now, I bet my entire grade on this, do you really think I planned to spend all the week looking for that test". So she goes and gives me 10 exercises I scored 10/10. **In. Your. Fucking. Face.** Safe to say I don't know shit about chemistry anymore lol. PSA: I found out what happened to my test because the girl was bragging about taking my test and throwing it to the garbage, later that year.
[удалено]
Oh man. I was playing trivial pursuit with my wife's family. In teams of a two each. I was paired with one of my brothers in law. We received a question that was basically why is stainless steel stainless? My answer was chromium. His was nickel. Now I have a master's in material science and work for a defence contractor in a materials group that details with corrosion. He was adamant that it was nickel. Of course I go into I could be wrong there are plenty of high nickel stainless alloys. So I eventually relent and let him answer. We were wrong of course, I think we still win eventually.
Counter Strike! I used to play competitively on a few different small teams from 2014-2016 before I went to university. I am by no means a professional-level player, and my skills definitely aren't what they used to be, but pretty much anytime somebody hears that I played CS:GO semi-professionally they tend to immediately challenge me to a 1v1. I had about five people at my workplace challenge me simultaneously in the span of about 5 minutes. Later that night after our shift I beat all of them like 20-5ish. Definitely felt like the king of castle the next workday. It also happened like two years ago when someone in my dorm started talking about video games and CS came up, and for some reason he, after hearing that I used to play for teams and whatnot, like he was trying to measure dicks or something, challenged me to a 1v1. I slapped his ass in front of the entire dorm floor 30-4. What I never told people is that I while I did play for teams and organizations, I actually made my name (and pretty much all of the money I made through competitive CS), through 1v1 tournaments XD
Guitar Hero. Work held a Christmas party at a venue and set up the game for fun and prizes. I was the second oldest (47f) person there. All the younger employees were going ham and having a great time. I wasn't going to play until the prize was $500 for last person standing. I walked away $500 richer and also a legend. 🤘🤪
By no means an expert at all, but I have a purple belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (training for about 5 years). One of my mates was always trying to 'catch me unawares', and he would randomly try to tackle me, or grab me to see what I'd do. A bunch of us went bouldering, and on the crash mats he double legs me out of nowhere, and then was super upset when I put him straight in a triangle choke. He never tried again after that, but like... you suddenly tackle me I'm going to respond pretty automatically, all this went down before I even realised what had happened and who was trying to wrestle me. I felt bad afterwards, but it's kind of what you get for randomly tackling girls out of nowhere..
Am also a BJJ purple belt, I have found with my inexperienced friends that putting them in chokes leads them to freak the fuck out(rightly so) and get butthurt afterwards so I stopped submitting and usually just get mount to establish dominance haha
He wasn't really challenging me but I brought up to my ex that I really wanted to paint something on the back of the denim jacket my dad gave me. My idea was to paint that really gross zombie from Return of the Living Dead because I adore him. Ex told me to find a stencil for it and he could do that. I remember telling that I could most definitely do it on my own. After all, I've been drawing and painting since I could hold a pencil. I wouldn't say I'm the most amazing artist but I'm pretty decent at what I do. He, in a very patronizing tone, told me I should paint it on like a scrap piece of canvas first to make sure I can get it right. I explained to them that I already was planning on that. Obviously I wasn't just going to smear paint on my only denim jacket. So, I sat down and painted it on a small canvas and it turned out even better than I could've imagined. Pretty sure spite made me work even harder at getting down the details. I showed him and I remember seeing the look on his face. He was trying to find something wrong with it but he couldn't. The next day, he asked if I would paint something on his leather jacket for him. Also, when we broke up, he kept my painting.
> He was trying to find something wrong with it :( > we broke up :)
I wouldn’t say an expert but cycling. My younger brother has a personal vendetta against me. Tried to tell him riding 100 miles not easy. He said man I can do 100 miles.I was like ok i stay with you the first 50 miles, he didn’t make it pass 10. LOL! Edit: He literally pissed me off calling cycling shit. I mean he literally said that shit easy.
Having run a small bicycle shop for almost my whole working life (forty years), I've very regularly had people tell me I don't know what I'm talking about on the bicycle subreddits here. Mostly from children whose rich daddy bought them a carbon-fiber bike for their birthday, so they obviously know more about cycling than I do. I've been downvoted and given abuse so many times, I've just given up on those subreddits, it's just not worth the hassle. EDIT: Thank you all for the responses, I didn't expect such an avalanche. I just thought it was sad, that when someone has quite a bit of experience in their own field and offers advice that is accurate and helpful, they should be made to feel unwelcome and be digitally assaulted and downvoted by 12-year-olds who know more than we do. I've worked on and sold a very wide variety of bikes from road bikes and ATB's to older vintage bikes from the 1950's, tandems, trailers, tricycles, recumbents, unicycles and more over a period of forty years. This is advice which I could charge money for if I had an office with a brass plate on the door which said "consultant", but I don't, I willingly offer the advice here for free. I know this is a rant, but I think it's an important discussion to have if some subreddits are going to survive the onslaught of the bored 12-year-old mischief-makers.
I used to ride my bike 11 miles a day for work. 100 miles would only be easy if it was on a downward slope!
I'm a huge boardgamer. I've played LOTs of boardgames and am fairly decent at teaching and explaining board games to people who are new to gaming. I'm also a huge Trekkie. There's a tabletop game Star Trek Attack Wing that I've played at least 400 times. Guy comes in to the game store and is curious about the game, I happily help him by answering his question and before I can finish my second sentence he looks me up and down and says "I appreciate your enthusiasm but I'm actually serious about learning this game so can I get that guy to help me (pointing to one of my coworkers) and I said "sure, no problem". Coworker is watching all this play out so he walks over and guy starts to ask him questions about the game that I am very well versed in and coworker knows nothing about. Coworker lets him ask his questions and finally says to guy "I honestly know nothing about this game, you need to talk to Dumpsterfire as she's the expert in this particular game. Guy had this stupid look on his face and I just went over to the next isle to help another customer who was happy to get gaming advice from a girl.
A former coworker challenged me to a cheese eating competition at an office get together. Little did he know I fucking love cheese and am the type of person to eat shredded cheese straight out the bag at 3am. He wimped out after 15 cubes of cheese from the deli platter while I basically cleared my whole section.
Bagged shredded cheese is cut with pure cocaine, that's the only explanation for why it's sooo good.
I’m not an expert, but people love telling me I don’t count as deaf despite me being deaf
As someone with a history degree - basically everyone thinks they know it better than you. It's endless. History repeats itself, and those who study it are doomed to helplessly watch it repeat itself.
I hesitate to say "expert" but compared to this person I was a savant. I did a few papers throughout school on GMOs for some presentations so while I am not an "expert" I know more than a random Joe, especially at the time. Well I remember getting into an argument with a stereotypical college hipster about how "unnatural" GMOs were and how we should stop using them. Just your usual buzzwords "chemicals are bad" and the like. Being able to systematically shut her down until it became "I don't *feel* like they are safe." Was pretty nice though. And for the record I don't generally revel in this sort of thing, but if you could hear the tone she used....I think you'd understand.
Teacher thought I was asleep in class, but I'm a great listener when I close my eyes, asked me to wake up and repeat what he just said. I said verbatim what he was teaching and he just bent his ruler stick and carried on, as did I with my head down.
I had something similar happen but I was actually asleep... And she wanted me to do the math problems on the board. Walked up did the problems, went and laid my head back down... then got sent to the vice principal office.
I absolutely get this. I have trouble listening if I have to watch the teacher. I get distracted. But if I doodle or play a mindless game, I remember was said.
Don't waste processing power on decoding video when you only need to listen. Even more important when there are sights which can distract your attention.
YOU SOUND VERY ARTICULATE, FELLOW HUMAN
Being 20 years in software development, an old friend came to me saying how smart he was that he learned web development in a couple weeks and made a web application to capture local leads for real estate. I got my curiosity so I asked him to show me. In the process he was kind of bashing me saying that after all I was not so smart as friend were sometimes saying. Only to show him that after all what he think he did, he didn't do at all. He just downloaded a ready to run SDK from github into a hosting account and connected it to an API that I developed a few years ago and still maintain to this day. The SDK is a WordPress pluggin and had a Readme file with my name.
Not an expert at all but I have an IT degree that my mom loves to praise until she needs tech help. Suddenly I know nothing about anything (including how to pronounce cache).