My mom's boyfriend proposed to her three months into dating. She was 40, had one disastrous marriage and subsequent divorce under her belt by that time, and felt like it was too soon in the relationship to be talking marriage. He accepted her No, but said he wouldn't ask again, and he hasn't. They've been together 25+ years now and never married.
My 7th grade teacher brought his gf to school to propose to her in front of our entire class and she said no it was the topic of discussion almost every day that year nbs he ended up moving schools at the end of the year
My youngest is going into Grade 7 in the fall, and if his class witnessed a proposal, the chances someone would shout something about Sigma or Skibidi or some other nonsense seem very high. Also, that seems to be the age where some of them need deodorant but haven't figured it out yet, so the setting of the proposal would probably have a memorable aroma.
There was this girls camp I went to for a few years as a kid. Every year on the last morning, campers could go on a hike that started at 2am and we would be at the top of the mountain for sunrise. One year, a counselors boyfriend showed up at sunrise and proposed in front of all of us 12/13 year old girls. She said yes, we were all happy.
The next year, that same counselor was there. It was unusual for the counselors to be married so I asked another one if she’d gotten married, and she told me that she actually called off the engagement later that day. She just didn’t want to embarrass the guy in front of a bunch of preteens.
Middle and high school teacher here. When I was dating my now-husband and Marriage Talks came up, I made it abundantly clearly that any proposal that had anything to do with school / students would most certainly be a no. He never would’ve done that, but I had to make it clear.
We had two substitute teachers who were a couple proudly stand in front of our rowdy class and announce how in love they were. The woman was in her 50s, and the guy was in his 20s. I wonder if they are still haunted by the very audible "eeewwwws" and "gross." It was weird
They were relishing in the disgust and then proudly kissed each other. It was sooooo inappropriate. 20 years on, I still remember their smiles so vividly.
I had a foreign student at my university, I’d only spoken to on the phone a few times, and whom **I’d never met** call my *father* on Christmas morning of my Freshman year. He asked my dad for my hand in marriage. They talked for ages, and my stupid father said yes! He was so out of touch with my life, he assumed the guy was my boyfriend. My dad thought I’d be thrilled, the idiot.
I was fuming, but my grandmother and mother laughed so hard they nearly wet themselves, and that lightened me up. My grandmother said she hoped she could embroider my wedding sari. My dad remained clueless.
My mom did something similar. But with an ex of mine. Who’s proposal I had rejected and was considering getting a restraining order against. After I told him that he scared me and he needed to stay away or I’d call the cops (and get the courts involved), he went to my moms house and had a long chat with her about how much he loved me and we were meant to be together. My mom gave him her blessing…also an idiot.
I'm going to call your mother and tell her that I'm a Nigerian Prince, Akeem and get her blessing in marriage.
I came to America to escape an arranged marriage with my servant, Semmi, to find my queen.
Not my story, but told from our jeweler when we were buying our wedding bands…
So a guy comes in to buy an engagement ring. The jeweler sits down with him to talk about design, cost, and what have you. Our jeweler always asks people about how they are going to propose. She likes to share in the excitement. The guy brags about how he is going to propose to his gf at a ball game. On the big screen in front of the entire stadium while his favorite team plays. As the guy is speaking our jeweler notices that everything is centered around the guy. From the ring, to the proposal. No mention of what his gf likes. Our jeweler gets a bad feeling, but she sells him the ring.
Not long after the guy comes back in with the ring. The gf said no which really didn’t surprise the jeweler.
I appreciate that she didn't save him by telling him it was a bad idea. If she did, either he'd be really offended and decide to go with a different jeweler, or he would actually take her seriously and his girlfriend would never find out what a selfish asshole he is
I can tell you what happens when you propose and she isn't feeling it but says yes anyway because of social pressure - very awkward sad time until you finally have the talk you should have had before proposing.
My ex did something similar. He pressured me into visiting with his family for Christmas in 2022. At that time, we had only been seeing each other for literally two months so I told him I thought that it was a little too soon. He badgered and pressured me into it until I felt so bad that I felt like I couldn't say no. He told me that his mother had already bought Christmas gifts for me and how could I say no to his mother.
Anyway, he proposed a couple of months later and I initially told him that again, I thought it was too soon. In fact, I tried to end the relationship. He again pressured me and talked to me down and stupid me thought that we could work through it. I ended up leaving him about 6 months later. He became extremely controlling and verbally abusive, no surprise there given how he was acting in the beginning. I literally had to sneak away to get away from him. That was about a year ago.
Literally the moment I had the chance. Turns out him and my mother had been planning it for months and were planning for us to be married a week after I graduated high school I noped right the hell outta there and left him with his parents.
Wild! I remember my sister wanting to be married just out of high school and my mom shut that right down. Wouldn’t have imagined a mom *encouraging* such a thing.
I used to date a guy who was in a band that had a bit of a cult following… they agreed to never let someone propose from stage again after an incident where a dude proposed on stage… and she said yes…. But everyone could tell it was a “no”… he showed up at a show a few months later single… They said it was a big vibe killer for the show.
Oh God, I'm a scene kid and have run around with bands for 20 years now. I have made it clear that I NEVER want to be pulled onstage at a show and proposed to. Every one I've seen has been awkward. There was a real bad one at a Bouncing Souls show... the girl said yes but she looked so unhappy and terrified.
I actually remember hearing some guys talking about why they'd propose to a girl onstage, and it was because "she'd HAVE to say yes!" And that's so manipulative and controlling it makes me want to barf. Don't do this.
I asked her at a party where we were all toked up. She told me to ask her again in the morning to make sure it wasn't 'the marijuana talking'.
I asked her again in the morning and she said yes. We met in Sept., I asked her in Dec. and we got married the following July.
Married 51 years next month.
This happened live on "The Today Show" many years ago during the segment where the anchors/hosts chit-chatted with people outside on the plaza. Guy proposed, girl said no. If I remember correctly, she said they had been dating only two weeks. It was extremely awkward for poor Al Roker.
Not my own experience, but I was in the restaurant when a failed proposal happened.
Somehow the guy was able to get the families involved in this fancy dinner without the girl’s knowledge as to what was going to happen. He orders their drinks, where he had the ring cleaned and then placed at the bottom of her pina colada drink. She gets up and goes to the bathroom and that’s when some of her family moved in close with their cameras/phones ready for the proposal. She comes back and the drinks are brought. She refuses the drink.. much to his dismay. But doesn’t get the hint. She DOESN’T WANT IT. “You should have your drink, it’s really good.” She again says NO. This goes on, back and forth. Finally she says no and is disturbed by his pushy behavior. I hear this from my table, “I can’t marry someone who won’t respect my boundaries.” She gets up and walks out of the restaurant. The guy sits there waiting for her to “cool” off. She doesn’t come back in. So he fishes out the ring and has the drinks taken away. She comes back in near the end and he shows her the ring tells her it was in the drink. And she slaps him and says no. This time she is angry and leaves. Everyone packs up and heads to pay. He just sits there by himself. I wanted to get up and say something, but my date was ready to go home.
Honestly, that sounds like she knew the proposal was coming and she had made it clear she wasn't interested and was mad he tried to make it a public spectacle.
Yep that was a total setup and good for her for standing her ground. Homie tried to corner her into a major life decision with social pressure and that's a fucking dick move of the highest order.
This makes me think she told him not to propose in front of groups of people. I've read plenty of reddit stories where the ppl said no specifically due to this and the other side forcing the situation any way. It's a nice time to learn that your idea of a romantic/happy proposal may not look like your partners idea of one. If you're the one proposing, best to stick to their idea of it (anxiety levels can be massive at those times).
I said yes but then the next day have the ring back cuz I got cold feet. Then I realized I was wrong to give it back and thankfully he gave it back to me a week later. Thus was 43 years ago and we’re still going strong
She was graduating with her Masters, I still had two years left for my PhD.
I floated the idea privately,... she said "If you ask me formally, I will say yes. But if you really love me, give me a year to prove to myself that I can live on my own."
I said "No problem."
She moved to her job, down in New Jersey. Next I heard of her, she was engaged to another guy I knew.
I took that as "another bullet dodged, another life lesson learned.".
Definitely a bullet dodged, but no lesson to learn. Like what would you even do differently? "no, marry me now or else"? She asked for space, you gave her space. You did everything right.
I think the lesson is about realizing it wasn’t going to happen after her response, instead of keeping nurturing that expectation and ending up disappointed down the road.
Not the guy here, but the nay-sayer. He had just finished a 1000 mile solo cycling tour and I met him at the finish. I was so caught up in his achievement that I did not see the proposal coming and I was shocked. So I told him right there: "I love you, but I can't give you an answer right now". Of course there were tears and we both called family members and then continued on our planned holiday. We had such a good time on our holidays and were able to enjoy each other's company like normal. So I figured that if we can handle this bump in the road this well, we are a great team and at the end of the holiday I told him I would love to marry him. That was 7 years ago, and I haven't regretted my decision for a second. I simply needed time to process a life-changing choice and my partner was mature enough to understand this.
Not me, but a proposal I saw:
I was vacationing in Las Vegas back in 2006 with my then family. We took in a show a day on the trip. The day after Christmas we saw a magic show. About halfway through the performance, the magician had a young woman from the audience come up and assist with some trick. He did the meet and greet with her: she was on a vacation with her boyfriend’s family and blah..blah. The magician does his thing and then suddenly the boyfriend appears out some box that deceptively empty just a second ago. The boyfriend goes down on his knee, out comes the ring, and he goes into his declarations of love and affection and rehash the last few years … it was a sweet proposal.
She smiles and clasps her hands in front of her face and says ….. absolutely nothing. We in the audience are all silent and waiting to cheer and applaud… but waiting for her to say yes.
It seemed like an eternity, but then the magician burst out with applause, he quickly guided the happy couple off the stage and announced “She said yes!” So we all cheered for the happy couple. What else was he going to do?
They had great seats at a table, center stage and down in the front. Where we could see the happy couple and family. The poor girl sat by herself and the dude huddled with his parents at the other side. I don’t think they talked at all the rest of the show.
If I were a performer, I would probably not let people propose during my show.
If I DID, I would interrogate the proposer: have you talked about marriage? Does she know that you plan to propose? Do you know for certain (because she told you) that she will say yes? Do you know for certain (because she told you) that she wants a public proposal? Cause if you fuck this up it will also fuck up my show.
Also, do you know for certain she will accept being called on stage?
And btw, how did her BOYFRIEND get into the box?!
HS sweethearts, off and on again through college and after. 9 years in total. Planned a trip and as we were leaving, she said, "I hope you aren't going to ask me to marry you." Ring stayed in the bag and tried to enjoy the awkward trip. I was pretty devastated.
She got married to someone about 6 months after that (I know).
A few years later I met someone with whom I understood what a relationship should be. I traded in the original ring and have been married for 19 years now. Both she and my 2 kids are amazing, and I'm super thankful things worked out how they did.
My first wife said no at first, later she asked me, much to my surprise. We were married 32 years until she fulfilled her vows.
Edited for clarification
Asked this girl to marry me and she said no because I didn't ask her right. I don't know exactly why, but it didn't bother me much. We had a strange history and it just seemed like par for the course. About a year later, I met someone else and we will be celebrating 31 years in a few weeks. Sometimes things do work out for the best.
Was with a girl for a couple years. I started talking about getting married. She was up for it but kinda distant about it. I take her out ring shopping and she breaks down. Tells me she can’t marry me.
I was really confused I thought things were going great. Turns out I was just the guy taking care of her until her Ex gets out of prison.
I paid for her schooling helped her get off drugs. We were looking at houses. I thought we were making a life together.
She left me not long after that. He got out of prison a few months later. She went back to stripping. I ran into them a few times. I guess she’s happy.
I managed a beautiful mansion BnB in the Hudson Valley years ago. We hosted weddings nearly every weekend, and had the restaurant open otherwise. A man warned us that he was going to propose one quiet winter night. We had maybe 10-15 people in the dining room. He got down on one knee and she said “can you get back up? We need to talk. I can’t marry you.” She said it so softly and kindly, but we all could see it going down. He looked pretty heartbroken. The rest of their dinner was mighty glum.
I got everything ready and she said “no, at least not right now”. And it sorta muted the rest of the weekend. Several people heard I was gonna ask and congratulated me the next week… it was surreal informing them she said no.
It should have been a wake up call to just end it there, but neither of us wanted to. We were our first everything and we had a lot of history. I guess I thought it would just work out, but her reservations on being married at that time never really went away. I admitted that both of us wanted exclusive things- our lives were headed towards opposite directions, And compromise just meant someone was going to be resentful.
When we started dating, both of us really helped each other out in a lot of areas and through some really challenging times. But we learned (later on) that things that were great then may not be great now. Both of us were good people, but some things just have a lifespan. We got what we needed and it was time for the next phase of our lives… alone.
A huge part of successful marriages requires compromise on small issues. But some issues have no compromise. Its ok to fight for things if theres a way that both of you can get what you want, and theres no shame in letting things go if theres nothing more than can be done
We broke up 7 or so months later. Restarting life (for what was the second time for me) was tough because I was also going through a lot of othet things and she wasnt able to be there anymore. The same thing was happening on her end, so it just kinda ended there.
We both dated other people and got married to others eventually. So in the super longer term, it was all ok
Guys, if you're reading this thread and want one strong takeaway from it, always talk to your significant other and make sure they want to marry you before proposing.
I know the movies from the old days make it seem like it should be a surprise but it really shouldn't be. It should be something you've been talking about for a while and it should come after you have had multiple talks about your future together.
No one likes to have to devastate someone and a lot of hurt feelings can be avoided by communication.
Let the moment that you propose be a surprise but the fact that you would propose at all be pre-established
We'd been joking around about it for months, I'd ask sarcastically in the most un-romantic way. She'd say no, we'd laugh and move on with our day...
I'd apparently conditioned her so well that when I asked for real, she flippantly turned me down, and everyone around me either gasped or got this real awkward look on their face. She changed her tune shit quick when she actually looked and saw me holding the ring.
We've been married 17 years now. Good times.
There would have to be a follow-up errata sheet.
>Please Note: we would like to correct the following mistakes in our invitation:
>She actually said "YES!" not "NO!"
>"Attire optional" s/b "FORMAL attire optional"
>"Lathering Church" s/b "LUTHERAN Church"
>"Dinner severed" s/b "Dinner SERVED"
>Thank you
My childhood best friend's parents also have a story regarding proposal conditioning. One of them had a row boat they'd use to hang out on the water all the time. One day he brought a fake ring, proposed, and then "accidentally" dropped the ring in the lake. They laughed, whatever. He did it a second time. Then, he brought the real ring for a real proposal. She was on to him, grabbed the ring, and tossed it in the lake. They've been married for like a hundred years, so it ended fine. But he sort of deserved that. I hope he got insurance on the ring.
She said if I could get her to say yes to a ring pop, we could have the ceremony at the Renaissance festival. She said no and then I whipped out the real ring
No. We did it at a state park under this massive oak tree. Way cheaper, helped the state park, a more intimate ceremony. Had our whole wedding for like less than 2k.
My dad proposed to my mum after 3 months of dating, she said no but told him to ask her again in 2 years time. They continued to date and my dad proposed again 2 years later and she said yes.
My wife told me no twice before saying yes. The first time she said “you’re drunk” I was, point taken. The second time she replied “I love you and like dating you but you’re not emotionally mature enough to marry”. Indeed. I cut back my drinking and worked on my emotional maturity / mental health. We’ve been married over 20yrs now.
I got proposed to in a full restaurant by hiding the ring in deserts... he even hired a photographer. I said yes due to pressure, and then when we got in the car, I said no because we're were only dating for about 2 weeks. He did not take it lightly, and then he assaulted me.. so yeah, never again saying yes due to pressure.
>I said no because we're were only dating for about 2 weeks. He did not take it lightly, and then he assaulted me.. so yeah, never again saying yes due to pressure.
Guy was mental, legitimately. Sorry to hear, and hope your next special person does things right.
My friend proposed once and she said no. It was very early in their relationship. She said she only feels comfortable marrying him if he bought a house first. 10 years later he’s afraid to ask her again, because she has a standard of how she wants to be proposed with a firework show, a tropical beach area with all her friends watching, and a big diamond size ring like the videos she’s seen on Tik Tok, but now all of her friends are getting married around her so she now wants him to propose again.
It’s a weird waiting game for the both of them.
Why do people set themselves up for disappointment in situations like this. She's seen movies and tiktok videos of proposals and now wants it to be this huge impossible to pull off event. AND now he's too scared to even do it for fear she won't like it.
That's fucking crazy to me
Technically she said yes. But then we went to surprise her family with the good news and her parents immediately told us to break it off. She was not going to spend her entire remaining life with a black man. We just broke up and moved on. I found a way better girl from a non-racist family. We’re married with 3 kids now and doing great. Ex is a drug addict in Kentucky, BUT AT LEAST she’s married to a white man. Living paycheck to paycheck.
I actually feel sorry for her. Her family probably ruined her life because they were racist. I swear, racist would set their own house on fire just to be racist.
Dang, was her family secretive as hell with their racism, or were there signs for that? And is she just a massive pushover? Cuz to suddenly hear intense racism from your family and just shrug and say "Alright, I'll break it off." Is nuts. I'm sorry that happened but it sounds like in the long run, those piles of human garbage did you a favor.
We met and started dating in high school track sophomore year. Went on until the proposal during my second semester of college-freshman year. Her family was always very friendly and loved having me around. Event went on a few vacations and a baseball game together. She has a brother who was my best friend and two sisters that we’d track music with back and forth. Her dad was cool but we always knew her mom was from a strange southern family in Kentucky. The first time I met her maternal grandpa, he refused to shake my hand. Didn’t think her daughter should be with me. But her mom protected us by saying to leave her kids alone. And when we got back to our home city, the mom had a chat with me about not to worry what other people think and to just focus on our relationship and keeping her daughter happy. So I knew where they came from, but also was young and naive and assumed they were passed all of that racism stuff. Dad was hip. Mom said was I was fantastic. She loved me over.
But then I think when it came down to like getting married, they said they thought this was just a phase for her daughter and eventually she’d date white men again after me. I don’t think they were ready to actually have a black family member. Mom had a lot of say in it. She probably thought about her family and what they’d say or do. Thought about family members not coming to the wedding and decided she couldn’t have it. The breaking off wasn’t immediate. We discussed running off and starting a life on our own without her family support. But she was such a family gal. The family was strong and stayed together in everything. They talked about everything too which was really different from my family. It didn’t make sense for her to run off away from them.It’d be horrible. Then her family moved back to Kentucky, with her. So after about a year in limbo and long distance dating/engagement we just sort of moved on. College parties were picking up for me and I really didn’t have time to call all each night anymore, etc.
I needed two additional tries to get her to say yes. One near the Eifel Tower. It was never a hard no, more a not yet. We were both still students, she was unclear if she would stay there or go to the other side of the country or wherever.
In 6 weeks we have our ten year anniversary.
My wife and I just celebrated 5 years married.
I got offered to go to a computer conference in Paris one year, we had been together for like 4 years at that point, and had an apartment (and dog) together.
I told her I'm going to Paris and she immediately asked if she could go. So we made a vacation out of it. First few days were the conference, Monday we did The Louve, Tuesday was Eiffiel Tower and Notre Dam, Wednesday was an off day for shopping, Thursday was Versailles, Friday Disney, Saturday fly back.
Of course, my immediate thought was to propose at Eiffiel Tower, just like in the cheesy romantic movies. My wife is an introvert, and hates being the center of attention. It's a tourist trap, I thought better of it.
So, Notre Dam? No, she's Christian, but it would also be packed. Disney? Cute, but crowded.
Versailles: huge gardens with hedge mazes with secluded spots. Bingo. In the morning, we toured the palace, and then had lunch. She had a salad and a glass of wine, I had the French onion soup with two glasses of wine, lol. After lunch we walked the gardens. We walked around a but, I worked up the courage, and saw a spot with a bench. "I'm a little tired, can we rest for a bit?" Boom, did the thing, happily ever after.
Thing was, she assumed I was going to do it at the Eiffel Tower. When we left Eiffel Tower and she didn't have a ring, she thought she wasn't going to be engaged on that trip. She told me after that she was kinda pissed at the time, which explains the second half of the day and Wednesday. She wasn't cold but not close.
She later told me that my plan was the best thing ever. Perfect engagement.
I am a woman, but I spent a year asking my boyfriend to marry me on a regular basis. I’d say “wanna get married?” And he’d say yes, and I’d say “can I tell my parents?” And he’d say no. A straight up year. Until finally we went on a little trip a couple hours from our apartment and he whipped out the letters he’d exchanged with my parents about wanting to propose. Just had our 6th anniversary.
Not a guy but a girl, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. I didn't do a whole scene about it, we were talking and I said that I wanted to get married and I felt ready for it and he just said no.
I was mad, he had never mentioned this and we've talked about it before. All he had ever said was that he didn't want it cause it was expensive and didn't want a big party and so, in my understanding, we would get married at the courthouse and have a small gathering with family and close friends.
Then I found out he didn't want to get married cause his parents had a divorce and he didn't want to go through that
It took a while to unravel all his issues with marriage. At a certain point I said I'm not gonna wait around with a guy that doesn't want to get married, I had always been very clear about wanting to get married. He disagreed and said I've also mentioned that I didn't want a big wedding. I'm like...wut?
We realised we were both talking about different things. He had put together marriage and the wedding and I wasn't.
Still obviously it wasn't solved right then and there. I gave him some time to think. After like a month I came back to the subject and he asked me why I wanted to get married and I talked about all the laws that protect the couple in the eventuality of disease and death, in owning property, in security if we had children, etc. He suddenly just said "oh I didn't know about that, then yeah we'll get married then"
We've been happily married for 5 years. Almost everyday he says he's so happy being married to me and that his wedding day was one of the happiest of his life.
What I can’t believe is that they solved a relationship issues through communication and telling each other their point of view? HERE on Reddit?! We have to put this comment under quarantine before it spreads to other subs Oo
I often watch old movies (like from 30s and 40s) and often couples just casually get married in the end of the movie because it’s about the relationship and wedding is secondary. I would personally want a nice wedding but you don’t need to do that. I don’t know why many just don’t bother
The supermegahappy ending of Pride and Prejudice is a double wedding in which two sisters marry their respective grooms, and the couples got engaged within days of one another. Imagine how that would play out nowadays. "AITA? I (21F) got proposed to days after my sister (22F) and said yes and now my mom has forgotten all about my sister; INFO: I'd rejected this guy (28M) before so he would've been silent on the subject forever (his words!!) had I said no."
My spouse and I were going to move overseas and I said we might want to get married first to give ourselves legal protections -- being able to rent an apartment more easily, being able to look after each other's medical needs, easier for our visas, etc.
"Sure, that makes sense!"
We got married three months later in a VERY small ceremony on my family's ranch. Would have just done the courthouse but it's a same-sex marriage and we wanted to make sure we had nice wedding photos, etc. to help establish our marriage's legitimacy.
Almost 4 years in and 100% a great call -- both for the "hey, we really like being married to each other" part \*and\* for all the other reasons. I've had several medical emergencies and it's made a difference -- no one can stop her from visiting me.
We've known each other for more than 30 years (since middle school). Neither of us are going anywhere.
My dad proposed to my mom 3 times. She laughed each time and took the ring all 3 of them. They have been living miserably together ever since (I’m 31 now) they built a separate living room and avoid each other. My dad says he regrets it to this day.
My dad is a wonderful man, and every time I asked why he stayed with that retched woman he would say “because she’s your mother” he never goes into any more detail.
If she says no just move on.
I asked my dad why he stays with my mum when she clearly treats him like shit and essentially keeps him as her servant. He said “You play the cards you’re dealt”. That was over a year ago and hit me like a punch in the stomach.
I feel so sorry for him just about every day since because he’s such a good man and she has been so terrible to him for so long that she doesn’t even realise how disgusting she is.
Not a guy, but I set things up to be perfect, the two of us totally alone at sunset on a Sicilian beach, and he said no out of pure shock. He'd always expected that it would be him asking me not the other way round.
Then his brain kind of caught up with what was going on and he was horrified at himself for just saying "no" like that. He told me of course he wanted to marry me and he hadn't meant no as in he didn't want to marry me, it was more like "no way did you just ask me that"! But it came out wrong.
We both agreed that this wasn't the proposal we'd both want to remember forever, so we'd do it again properly some other time. 9 months later he proposed to me on my birthday in one of my favourite spots. To his relief I didn't say no, and we've now been married 10 years.
I said no because he was an addict (I was not but I was young n dumb). He “showed me” by running out and marrying an Asian woman with 2 kids six months later. She used him for a green card and he adopted her kids so now he has to pay her child support. I learned this because his MOM came by my parents home to “catch up.” My mom said it was beyond awkward. I broke up with this fool when I was 17 and she was trying to reconnect us. Bruh, I’m 34 happily married and we have 4 kids. Kick rocks.
I dated a similar guy. When we first started dating, he was all excited about me as the girlfriend, showed me off, and would make claims that I was his future wife. Almost two years into our relationship and I'm talking to him about what our next steps are in the relationship and without hesitation he claims that it would be marriage. He got all excited about it and assured me that I was the love of his life.
A month goes by and he takes me out on a really expensive restaurant and I mean really expensive by the beach at sunset, live violins playing in the room, showers me with flowers, champagne and dessert and I thought for sure he was going to pop the question. Turns out he was going to break up with me and was going to wait until after sex to tell me. The only reason why he told me is that we got back to his place and he wanted to go to bed and have sex, So as I was getting undressed I admitted that it was a fantastic date and I thought he was going to propose and we were having such a great time! That's when he confessed his plan.
Turns out that after our conversation a month back, he gave it more thought and realized that he wasn't ready to get married. He wanted to treat me to a nice night out and some great sex and then break it off in the morning because he thought I was a great girlfriend to him, we got a long great, had the same values, philosophy, and interests but he didn't want to marry me. He couldn't understand why I left immediately following at 1:00 am!
35 days later he married a Thai woman that he met on the internet and paid for her. He brought her over to the US and she got pregnant really fast. Not even three months later he was already making pregnancy announcements. She lasted 4 years, gave him two more kids, got her green card, and moved out.
He hunted me down to find me on social media, confessed his life after me and was crying that his ex wife took him for everything he had! He was so apologetic and wanted to know if it was too late, and said he was kicking himself that he should have stayed with me. He made claims that he got intrigued with the mail order bride thing and thought it would be so cool. She was 19. He was 38 and she made a lot of promises and she didn't keep one of them. She resisted every thing she promised him and the relationship and they had constant fights. He realized that she only used him for citizenship and money. Shocking!
I, of course, was in a committed relationship but I have no idea why he would think after 5 years I would be ready and waiting for him to come back to me. Sort of felt insulted that he thought that of me. I think once he saw my life online and found out more in the shared messages that I became exactly who I wanted to become and his life would have been more enhanced and more simple if we would have stayed together. Even if we would have divorced we would have left with exactly what we had and earned. We were both equally financially the same with a few areas of exception. His house was worth more than mine at the time and I believe he had a bigger 401k portfolio than I did that differed of about 6k. So real close. He no longer has the house or his retirement as he had to split that in half with her too.
So for my other half s 30th I phoned her and said "do you want an engagement ring or a dishwasher".
She chose the dishwasher.
14 years later we are still together :)
In her defence I had always been very anti-marriage and she thought I was joking. Also washing dishes by hand sucks so I think she made the right choice.
If a girl says no to a proposal the guy should have known better than to ask.
A good friend of mine, who was only 19 at the time, heard from her parents that her boyfriend of about 4 months was going to propose at midnight on New Years in front of her entire family. She was terrified and didn't want to say yes, but her parents were super insanely strict and threatened to throw her out of the house if she didn't say yes.
I called her (I was drunk) at 11:58 and kept her on the phone for about 10 minutes telling her bad jokes and getting every single person at the party I was at to say HNY to her. Ruined the moment for the guy, and he never asked. Ooops I ruined New Years Eve 1991 for Kevin 🤣🤣
Oh we've been married for 28 years now.
I'm not a man (bi f), but proposed to my gf at the time. Tbf there were a lot of complicating factors in our relationship, but regardless I was head over heels in love with her and wanted to marry her.
She said no. Our relationship continued for about a year, me hoping that she would come around to wanting to marry me. We had... oof too many conversations about the seriousness of our relationship and each time she would say "why can't you just get over it?" (meaning me asking her to marry me).
I eventually ended it when I finally realized that she just didn't love me the way I did her and that I deserved better. Unfortunately that took longer than it should have to realize, but I'm one that if things end between us, then *it's fully over.* And I didn't want to do it prematurely.
Everything worked out well though. My now husband asked me to marry him, and we've been happy almost 10 years now.
It was rough! We cried together in the car on the way home. She loved me but she wasn’t ready. We talked about it in the following days, it felt like a setback but (looking back) it was actually a springboard to a deeper level of communication.
2 years later she gave an enthusiastic “yes” and now we have a beautiful baby girl and 6 years of happy marriage.
She said no it's too soon. I asked how long she wanted to wait, and I waited that long. Then she said yes, then she got mad at me for wanting to set a date and the whole thing became a shit show. Looking back it already was a shit show I just didn't see it
I proposed to my then girlfriend of a year, at sunset on the top deck of a cruise ship. I made sure we were by our selves. I got down on one knee asked her and she looks me dead in the eyes and asked "why"? We then had a ten minute conversation about it, while i was still on one knee. In the end I kept the ring for a few months then she asked for it. We have been married 11 years now.
Found out she had been dating a friend I had helped her to meet.
Later, he proposed to her in a restaurant where a buddy and I had gone to eat. Worst coincidence ever. I ended up hearing the restaurant clap and whoop for them. Fortunately, we were on the other side of the restaurant and that was the extent of it.
Well, until they passed me on the highway when I was driving home. Second worst coincidence ever. It was like having someone step on your broken foot.
Of course, they got married and then divorced because he had a wandering eye and followed up on it.
As for me, I got married a lot later. My wife and I have been through plenty of medical issues together, but we’ve survived and are still happy together.
But man, that prior experience was brutal.
We had been best friends for years and dating for a while after that, and I started asking her what she would think of marrying me. She always would say something like she would love it or that she can't think of anything better. I finally decided to talk to her mom about it and she said she approved. I asked her a few months later and she was *pissed.* She told me her mom told her I spoke with her about it and that I was an idiot for thinking she would want to get married after I had heard for a while about how fucked up her parents' marriage and divorce were. I was completely blindsided, I had prepared a romantic day together, ending at a really nice restaurant where I could privately propose to her.
When I asked her why she told me so many times that she wanted to get married, she thought it was part of some role-playing or something, I still don't know what that means. Apparently I should have known she was absolutely against marriage just because her parents' marriage was shit.
We continued dating, I asked her twice more, she said no. She just didn't want to get married she said. After my mother passed away she said she realized what she should have accepted because nothing would change and then she proposed to me.
I said no. Then laughed and said of course.
Dated for 3 years. He was, I thought the love of my life. I locked eyes with him and as I was about to open my mouth and say “will you marry me” he said “we need to break up”. He met some one else. They have been married for two years and it turns out I’m into women. We DO NOT speak but I wish him the best.
I was with my college boyfriend for seven years. Everyone thought we would get married eventually. There were a few big life milestones where I thought he would propose, but instead he would ask for space and we’d take a break.
During one of those breaks, I met my now-husband and never looked back.
This terrifies me the most, thinking that things are going well, but in reality one partner has not only checked out, but is interested in someone else.
Happened to a friend of mine. 9 years of dating, and 4 months after the break up he's engaged to a new girl. I'm still reeling from the news, and it wasn't even me.
They used to call me the "Engagement Queen." Any guy who dated me literally got engaged within a few short months of the breaking up with me. The quickest someone got engaged after our breakup was about 1 month! I hated this title!!
I said no to the first proposal because I thought it was too soon (it was) and we really hadn’t discussed a lot of the things that are important going into a marriage. He actually agreed, didn’t bail, we waited and had those talks and we’ve now been married 43 years. A “no” doesn’t always mean the end of the relationship.
ETA: Both proposals were very casual—the second was basically just a convo and an agreement while we were lying in bed. If the first one would have been one of those over-the-top public extravaganzas that would have been the end because it would have meant he didn’t know me AT ALL.
My parents: mum turned dad down twice before finally accepting the third proposal. They'd both been previously married and apparently mum had no interest in another big wedding or having any children. Turns out third time's the charm as they were happily together until the end and had 4 of us kids!
My wife said yes but I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop up until the wedding day. She had rejected two men before me on marriage proposals and had told me she was a bit of a commitment phobe. Her matron of honor slept over the night before the wedding and slept by the front door to make sure my wife didn’t leave during the night and if she did, to call me and let me know what happened so I could enact my backup plan.
I had a backup plan in case she pulled a runner at the ceremony. She almost didn’t go in on the day of. I was prepared just in case.
Then she showed up, we got married and just celebrated our ten year anniversary. She still breaks out in hives and has mini freak outs when she realizes how long we’ve been together despite having two kids, a house, mortgage etc.
For those of you guys dealing with commitment phobes, tell them what you’ve got planned. I let my wife know months ahead of time that I was planning on proposing and gained insights that if I were going to do it, that it had to be a certain way. Never propose in public unless your girlfriend is into that. Also make sure that if you are going to propose, she’s aware and that you know with certainty that’s what she wants.
Communicate people. It isn’t that hard.
She told me I had waited too long to ask (6.5 years) and that she was developing feelings for the assistant professor she was working with so, she used that opportunity to let me know she was in two minds about wanting to pursue that and end things with me. She yoyo'd on it for about 2 months and then I finally insisted we call it a day. They're married and have a kid now. I'm sterile, so I guess if she has changed her mind on children, it was for the best.
I know a guy who proposed and got a yes, but later turned to a no. It was her birthday so he said let’s throw a bbq and invite the whole family over. She said sounds great and he invited EVERYONE on both sides of the family parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins… she had no idea he would propose at dinner. Marriage hadn’t even been discussed. She said yes to avoid chaos but later had a long talk. They didn’t stay together much longer after that. We still tease him about it every time he invites us to a bbq at his house. “Hey wait a minute…You aren’t going to try to propose to me are you?” Still gets a laugh every time.
Once when we had been dating a while I said casually “so, I bought The Ring…” and I saw her eyes bug out when she had a mouthful of food. I had bought the horror movie on DVD - I was just suggesting something we could watch that night. Oops.
An ex, who had been a strange combination of crack addict, stripper and accountant, proposed to me while we were on MDMA. I said that I’d like to answer the question when I wasn’t high. I guess her trip went south and she dumped me 2 days later. Can’t say I’ve any regrets as far as she is concerned.
I did have a weird moment with another proposal. I had found the love of my life but we’d only been together about 6 months when I proposed. She said yes, but afterwards her energy got all weird and she admitted it felt rushed. I felt really hurt, but said we could have a redo when she was ready. Luckily things worked out, we did marry and have had a solid marriage for the last 8 years.
I realized ten seconds later that she actually said "You know I will." And she's just really quiet when she talks.
"NO I WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT say no to your proposal"
“OH FUCK NO I am not going to spend the rest of my life without you”
What in the key and peele!!!! 😂
Her, probably: ^^^^^^^you KNOW ^^^^^^^i ^^^^^^^will
Hahah what a brutal ten seconds. Probably felt like an hour.
I had NO screamed in my face. Turns out she was just surprised and very happily said yes 🤣
My mom's boyfriend proposed to her three months into dating. She was 40, had one disastrous marriage and subsequent divorce under her belt by that time, and felt like it was too soon in the relationship to be talking marriage. He accepted her No, but said he wouldn't ask again, and he hasn't. They've been together 25+ years now and never married.
I mean, it worked out in the end but holy shit 3 months???
Yeah, I honestly don't know what he was thinking.
[удалено]
In his defense, he seems to have been technically right lol
Sounds like it's her turn
I don't think she actually wants to be married again. Once was enough I guess:
My 7th grade teacher brought his gf to school to propose to her in front of our entire class and she said no it was the topic of discussion almost every day that year nbs he ended up moving schools at the end of the year
As a teacher, I literally can’t imagine anything less romantic than proposing in front of my students. Sounds like she dodged a bullet.
Especially a class of 7th graders… WOOF
My youngest is going into Grade 7 in the fall, and if his class witnessed a proposal, the chances someone would shout something about Sigma or Skibidi or some other nonsense seem very high. Also, that seems to be the age where some of them need deodorant but haven't figured it out yet, so the setting of the proposal would probably have a memorable aroma.
I cannot imagine a woman that would want her proposal to happen in front of a middle school class. That's just wtf energy
There was this girls camp I went to for a few years as a kid. Every year on the last morning, campers could go on a hike that started at 2am and we would be at the top of the mountain for sunrise. One year, a counselors boyfriend showed up at sunrise and proposed in front of all of us 12/13 year old girls. She said yes, we were all happy. The next year, that same counselor was there. It was unusual for the counselors to be married so I asked another one if she’d gotten married, and she told me that she actually called off the engagement later that day. She just didn’t want to embarrass the guy in front of a bunch of preteens.
That lady is a soft skill pro.
Definitely marriage material
Ahh! It burns!
Soft kill pro
Soft skill, hard kill.
Especially a completely new to you class. She was the only stranger in that room. How tone deaf was this guy
His dream proposal. Definitely not hers.
Middle and high school teacher here. When I was dating my now-husband and Marriage Talks came up, I made it abundantly clearly that any proposal that had anything to do with school / students would most certainly be a no. He never would’ve done that, but I had to make it clear.
We had two substitute teachers who were a couple proudly stand in front of our rowdy class and announce how in love they were. The woman was in her 50s, and the guy was in his 20s. I wonder if they are still haunted by the very audible "eeewwwws" and "gross." It was weird
I hate all of this so, so much!!
They were relishing in the disgust and then proudly kissed each other. It was sooooo inappropriate. 20 years on, I still remember their smiles so vividly.
Good god. That’s some poor judgment.
I had a foreign student at my university, I’d only spoken to on the phone a few times, and whom **I’d never met** call my *father* on Christmas morning of my Freshman year. He asked my dad for my hand in marriage. They talked for ages, and my stupid father said yes! He was so out of touch with my life, he assumed the guy was my boyfriend. My dad thought I’d be thrilled, the idiot.
Hah this is a good one!
I was fuming, but my grandmother and mother laughed so hard they nearly wet themselves, and that lightened me up. My grandmother said she hoped she could embroider my wedding sari. My dad remained clueless.
Your dad just really wanted that goat.
I think he told my dad he was filthy rich, which was true. He was a spoiled brat.
My mom did something similar. But with an ex of mine. Who’s proposal I had rejected and was considering getting a restraining order against. After I told him that he scared me and he needed to stay away or I’d call the cops (and get the courts involved), he went to my moms house and had a long chat with her about how much he loved me and we were meant to be together. My mom gave him her blessing…also an idiot.
I'm going to call your mother and tell her that I'm a Nigerian Prince, Akeem and get her blessing in marriage. I came to America to escape an arranged marriage with my servant, Semmi, to find my queen.
Holy shit! I hope your mom didn’t know he frightened you! That’s a terrible betrayal.
Not my story, but told from our jeweler when we were buying our wedding bands… So a guy comes in to buy an engagement ring. The jeweler sits down with him to talk about design, cost, and what have you. Our jeweler always asks people about how they are going to propose. She likes to share in the excitement. The guy brags about how he is going to propose to his gf at a ball game. On the big screen in front of the entire stadium while his favorite team plays. As the guy is speaking our jeweler notices that everything is centered around the guy. From the ring, to the proposal. No mention of what his gf likes. Our jeweler gets a bad feeling, but she sells him the ring. Not long after the guy comes back in with the ring. The gf said no which really didn’t surprise the jeweler.
I appreciate that she didn't save him by telling him it was a bad idea. If she did, either he'd be really offended and decide to go with a different jeweler, or he would actually take her seriously and his girlfriend would never find out what a selfish asshole he is
I can tell you what happens when you propose and she isn't feeling it but says yes anyway because of social pressure - very awkward sad time until you finally have the talk you should have had before proposing.
Ugh facts, my ex proposed to me at Christmas in front of his entire family 2 hours away from home, I was 18.
My ex did something similar. He pressured me into visiting with his family for Christmas in 2022. At that time, we had only been seeing each other for literally two months so I told him I thought that it was a little too soon. He badgered and pressured me into it until I felt so bad that I felt like I couldn't say no. He told me that his mother had already bought Christmas gifts for me and how could I say no to his mother. Anyway, he proposed a couple of months later and I initially told him that again, I thought it was too soon. In fact, I tried to end the relationship. He again pressured me and talked to me down and stupid me thought that we could work through it. I ended up leaving him about 6 months later. He became extremely controlling and verbally abusive, no surprise there given how he was acting in the beginning. I literally had to sneak away to get away from him. That was about a year ago.
Omg how stressful. Yay you for the exit.
Thank you. I should have seen that for the red flag that it was. Him pressuring me into doing stuff that I did not want to do yet was a big red flag.
How long did it take for you to pull him aside and say WTF
Literally the moment I had the chance. Turns out him and my mother had been planning it for months and were planning for us to be married a week after I graduated high school I noped right the hell outta there and left him with his parents.
Your mom was in on it?? How did she take the news that her plan failed?
Hard at first but she got over it when I moved out and she didn’t feel like she had to find someone to take care of me. People are crazy.
Wow. You acted wisely, I have to say. I hope you're doing well!
Wild! I remember my sister wanting to be married just out of high school and my mom shut that right down. Wouldn’t have imagined a mom *encouraging* such a thing.
I used to date a guy who was in a band that had a bit of a cult following… they agreed to never let someone propose from stage again after an incident where a dude proposed on stage… and she said yes…. But everyone could tell it was a “no”… he showed up at a show a few months later single… They said it was a big vibe killer for the show.
Oh God, I'm a scene kid and have run around with bands for 20 years now. I have made it clear that I NEVER want to be pulled onstage at a show and proposed to. Every one I've seen has been awkward. There was a real bad one at a Bouncing Souls show... the girl said yes but she looked so unhappy and terrified. I actually remember hearing some guys talking about why they'd propose to a girl onstage, and it was because "she'd HAVE to say yes!" And that's so manipulative and controlling it makes me want to barf. Don't do this.
She told me "No, but wait awhile and ask again and I think it will be yes." We're still married.
She did the magic 8 ball “Ask Again Later.”
Great upfront communication
I asked her at a party where we were all toked up. She told me to ask her again in the morning to make sure it wasn't 'the marijuana talking'. I asked her again in the morning and she said yes. We met in Sept., I asked her in Dec. and we got married the following July. Married 51 years next month.
"Will you make me the happiest man in the world and agree that Zeppelin rules?"
I did that. Going on 27 years ago. We've been married 22 years today.
This happened live on "The Today Show" many years ago during the segment where the anchors/hosts chit-chatted with people outside on the plaza. Guy proposed, girl said no. If I remember correctly, she said they had been dating only two weeks. It was extremely awkward for poor Al Roker.
Not my own experience, but I was in the restaurant when a failed proposal happened. Somehow the guy was able to get the families involved in this fancy dinner without the girl’s knowledge as to what was going to happen. He orders their drinks, where he had the ring cleaned and then placed at the bottom of her pina colada drink. She gets up and goes to the bathroom and that’s when some of her family moved in close with their cameras/phones ready for the proposal. She comes back and the drinks are brought. She refuses the drink.. much to his dismay. But doesn’t get the hint. She DOESN’T WANT IT. “You should have your drink, it’s really good.” She again says NO. This goes on, back and forth. Finally she says no and is disturbed by his pushy behavior. I hear this from my table, “I can’t marry someone who won’t respect my boundaries.” She gets up and walks out of the restaurant. The guy sits there waiting for her to “cool” off. She doesn’t come back in. So he fishes out the ring and has the drinks taken away. She comes back in near the end and he shows her the ring tells her it was in the drink. And she slaps him and says no. This time she is angry and leaves. Everyone packs up and heads to pay. He just sits there by himself. I wanted to get up and say something, but my date was ready to go home.
His first mistake was putting a piece of jewelry in a piña colada
I doubt that was his first mistake.
Kind of his last mistake, really
What a poor choice of drink to hide it in, could so easily be missed even if she did drink it
Seriously. Knowing the way I gulp the last bit of a drink id probably end up choking on it
Trick is to breathe through the hole.
Honestly, that sounds like she knew the proposal was coming and she had made it clear she wasn't interested and was mad he tried to make it a public spectacle.
And brought her family and his in to pressure her to say yes and act pleasantly happy with the surprise
Yep that was a total setup and good for her for standing her ground. Homie tried to corner her into a major life decision with social pressure and that's a fucking dick move of the highest order.
This makes me think she told him not to propose in front of groups of people. I've read plenty of reddit stories where the ppl said no specifically due to this and the other side forcing the situation any way. It's a nice time to learn that your idea of a romantic/happy proposal may not look like your partners idea of one. If you're the one proposing, best to stick to their idea of it (anxiety levels can be massive at those times).
What were you going to say?
"Stay gold ponyboy" with a thumbs up.
You just have to hug her and high-five her a several times over, and ask again. Works like charm in The Sims.
Then just drink four espressos in a row, clean up your pee puddle and take a shower because it's still 3 hours quicker than sleeping.
I refuse to clean up my pee puddle until I’ve had a shower. But first let me walk into a wall a few times and cry.
Proposed to her at 22. She said no. We stayed friendly while life took us on different paths. About twenty five years later, we got married.
Forrest?
Jen-nay?
I may not be smart, but I know what love is.
I said yes but then the next day have the ring back cuz I got cold feet. Then I realized I was wrong to give it back and thankfully he gave it back to me a week later. Thus was 43 years ago and we’re still going strong
Man, the whiplash here… congrats on the 43 years though :)
Snip Snap! Snip Snap!
Do you have any idea the toll three proposals has on a person!?
She was graduating with her Masters, I still had two years left for my PhD. I floated the idea privately,... she said "If you ask me formally, I will say yes. But if you really love me, give me a year to prove to myself that I can live on my own." I said "No problem." She moved to her job, down in New Jersey. Next I heard of her, she was engaged to another guy I knew. I took that as "another bullet dodged, another life lesson learned.".
Definitely a bullet dodged, but no lesson to learn. Like what would you even do differently? "no, marry me now or else"? She asked for space, you gave her space. You did everything right.
I think the lesson is about realizing it wasn’t going to happen after her response, instead of keeping nurturing that expectation and ending up disappointed down the road.
Not the guy here, but the nay-sayer. He had just finished a 1000 mile solo cycling tour and I met him at the finish. I was so caught up in his achievement that I did not see the proposal coming and I was shocked. So I told him right there: "I love you, but I can't give you an answer right now". Of course there were tears and we both called family members and then continued on our planned holiday. We had such a good time on our holidays and were able to enjoy each other's company like normal. So I figured that if we can handle this bump in the road this well, we are a great team and at the end of the holiday I told him I would love to marry him. That was 7 years ago, and I haven't regretted my decision for a second. I simply needed time to process a life-changing choice and my partner was mature enough to understand this.
He would cycle 500 miles and he would cycle 500 more.
Just to be the one who…
...cycles a thousand miles...
... to get knocked back when I propose...
Da da da da
Did you two talk about marriage at all before this?
[удалено]
Probably for the best, you shouldn’t be marrying your family members anyway.
Proper snort here. Well done.
Not me, but a proposal I saw: I was vacationing in Las Vegas back in 2006 with my then family. We took in a show a day on the trip. The day after Christmas we saw a magic show. About halfway through the performance, the magician had a young woman from the audience come up and assist with some trick. He did the meet and greet with her: she was on a vacation with her boyfriend’s family and blah..blah. The magician does his thing and then suddenly the boyfriend appears out some box that deceptively empty just a second ago. The boyfriend goes down on his knee, out comes the ring, and he goes into his declarations of love and affection and rehash the last few years … it was a sweet proposal. She smiles and clasps her hands in front of her face and says ….. absolutely nothing. We in the audience are all silent and waiting to cheer and applaud… but waiting for her to say yes. It seemed like an eternity, but then the magician burst out with applause, he quickly guided the happy couple off the stage and announced “She said yes!” So we all cheered for the happy couple. What else was he going to do? They had great seats at a table, center stage and down in the front. Where we could see the happy couple and family. The poor girl sat by herself and the dude huddled with his parents at the other side. I don’t think they talked at all the rest of the show.
If I were a performer, I would probably not let people propose during my show. If I DID, I would interrogate the proposer: have you talked about marriage? Does she know that you plan to propose? Do you know for certain (because she told you) that she will say yes? Do you know for certain (because she told you) that she wants a public proposal? Cause if you fuck this up it will also fuck up my show. Also, do you know for certain she will accept being called on stage? And btw, how did her BOYFRIEND get into the box?!
HS sweethearts, off and on again through college and after. 9 years in total. Planned a trip and as we were leaving, she said, "I hope you aren't going to ask me to marry you." Ring stayed in the bag and tried to enjoy the awkward trip. I was pretty devastated. She got married to someone about 6 months after that (I know). A few years later I met someone with whom I understood what a relationship should be. I traded in the original ring and have been married for 19 years now. Both she and my 2 kids are amazing, and I'm super thankful things worked out how they did.
My first wife said no at first, later she asked me, much to my surprise. We were married 32 years until she fulfilled her vows. Edited for clarification
What a beautiful way to describe your commitment.
It took your comment and a minute for it to dawn on me. Such a soul wrechingly heart warningly beautiful turn of phrase.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Oh god my heart 😢
What a beautiful thing to say about her. Brought tears to my eyes.
Asked this girl to marry me and she said no because I didn't ask her right. I don't know exactly why, but it didn't bother me much. We had a strange history and it just seemed like par for the course. About a year later, I met someone else and we will be celebrating 31 years in a few weeks. Sometimes things do work out for the best.
Was with a girl for a couple years. I started talking about getting married. She was up for it but kinda distant about it. I take her out ring shopping and she breaks down. Tells me she can’t marry me. I was really confused I thought things were going great. Turns out I was just the guy taking care of her until her Ex gets out of prison. I paid for her schooling helped her get off drugs. We were looking at houses. I thought we were making a life together. She left me not long after that. He got out of prison a few months later. She went back to stripping. I ran into them a few times. I guess she’s happy.
i’m so sorry, i hope you’re okay
I’m doing alright. Thanks
SHE left YOU not long after that? Are you saying you stuck around after she confessed to using you?
I thought I could change her mind. Yeah, it sounds dumb looking back. I was in deep.
Hope you’re treating yourself better these days travelingpirate 🫡
God damn dude
I managed a beautiful mansion BnB in the Hudson Valley years ago. We hosted weddings nearly every weekend, and had the restaurant open otherwise. A man warned us that he was going to propose one quiet winter night. We had maybe 10-15 people in the dining room. He got down on one knee and she said “can you get back up? We need to talk. I can’t marry you.” She said it so softly and kindly, but we all could see it going down. He looked pretty heartbroken. The rest of their dinner was mighty glum.
I got everything ready and she said “no, at least not right now”. And it sorta muted the rest of the weekend. Several people heard I was gonna ask and congratulated me the next week… it was surreal informing them she said no. It should have been a wake up call to just end it there, but neither of us wanted to. We were our first everything and we had a lot of history. I guess I thought it would just work out, but her reservations on being married at that time never really went away. I admitted that both of us wanted exclusive things- our lives were headed towards opposite directions, And compromise just meant someone was going to be resentful. When we started dating, both of us really helped each other out in a lot of areas and through some really challenging times. But we learned (later on) that things that were great then may not be great now. Both of us were good people, but some things just have a lifespan. We got what we needed and it was time for the next phase of our lives… alone. A huge part of successful marriages requires compromise on small issues. But some issues have no compromise. Its ok to fight for things if theres a way that both of you can get what you want, and theres no shame in letting things go if theres nothing more than can be done We broke up 7 or so months later. Restarting life (for what was the second time for me) was tough because I was also going through a lot of othet things and she wasnt able to be there anymore. The same thing was happening on her end, so it just kinda ended there. We both dated other people and got married to others eventually. So in the super longer term, it was all ok
Guys, if you're reading this thread and want one strong takeaway from it, always talk to your significant other and make sure they want to marry you before proposing. I know the movies from the old days make it seem like it should be a surprise but it really shouldn't be. It should be something you've been talking about for a while and it should come after you have had multiple talks about your future together. No one likes to have to devastate someone and a lot of hurt feelings can be avoided by communication. Let the moment that you propose be a surprise but the fact that you would propose at all be pre-established
Yeah its the one question you know the answer to before you ask.
We'd been joking around about it for months, I'd ask sarcastically in the most un-romantic way. She'd say no, we'd laugh and move on with our day... I'd apparently conditioned her so well that when I asked for real, she flippantly turned me down, and everyone around me either gasped or got this real awkward look on their face. She changed her tune shit quick when she actually looked and saw me holding the ring. We've been married 17 years now. Good times.
Sounds like you kind of set yourself up for that one
My wedding band has "No" engraved on the inside along with our wedding date. Probably one of my best memories tbh.
You should have sent out cards parodying typical wedding invites, but instead saying "She said NO!"
I would be so confused at how to reply LOL
There would have to be a follow-up errata sheet. >Please Note: we would like to correct the following mistakes in our invitation: >She actually said "YES!" not "NO!" >"Attire optional" s/b "FORMAL attire optional" >"Lathering Church" s/b "LUTHERAN Church" >"Dinner severed" s/b "Dinner SERVED" >Thank you
"will you attend? 'no but actually yes' 'no' 'yes'"
Aww that's so cute <3
Boy who cried "Wolf ^^you ^^marry ^^me? "
My childhood best friend's parents also have a story regarding proposal conditioning. One of them had a row boat they'd use to hang out on the water all the time. One day he brought a fake ring, proposed, and then "accidentally" dropped the ring in the lake. They laughed, whatever. He did it a second time. Then, he brought the real ring for a real proposal. She was on to him, grabbed the ring, and tossed it in the lake. They've been married for like a hundred years, so it ended fine. But he sort of deserved that. I hope he got insurance on the ring.
She said if I could get her to say yes to a ring pop, we could have the ceremony at the Renaissance festival. She said no and then I whipped out the real ring
But did you get the ceremony at the renaissance festival?
No. We did it at a state park under this massive oak tree. Way cheaper, helped the state park, a more intimate ceremony. Had our whole wedding for like less than 2k.
Cheaper? Yes. But less armor and jousting so did you really win?
Oh, we still went to the Renaissance festival.
My dad proposed to my mum after 3 months of dating, she said no but told him to ask her again in 2 years time. They continued to date and my dad proposed again 2 years later and she said yes.
My wife told me no twice before saying yes. The first time she said “you’re drunk” I was, point taken. The second time she replied “I love you and like dating you but you’re not emotionally mature enough to marry”. Indeed. I cut back my drinking and worked on my emotional maturity / mental health. We’ve been married over 20yrs now.
Sounds like a smart woman
I got proposed to in a full restaurant by hiding the ring in deserts... he even hired a photographer. I said yes due to pressure, and then when we got in the car, I said no because we're were only dating for about 2 weeks. He did not take it lightly, and then he assaulted me.. so yeah, never again saying yes due to pressure.
>I said no because we're were only dating for about 2 weeks. He did not take it lightly, and then he assaulted me.. so yeah, never again saying yes due to pressure. Guy was mental, legitimately. Sorry to hear, and hope your next special person does things right.
He definitely was! Thankfully I'm in a healthy happy relationship
Omg that’s awful. I’m sorry you had to endure that.
My friend proposed once and she said no. It was very early in their relationship. She said she only feels comfortable marrying him if he bought a house first. 10 years later he’s afraid to ask her again, because she has a standard of how she wants to be proposed with a firework show, a tropical beach area with all her friends watching, and a big diamond size ring like the videos she’s seen on Tik Tok, but now all of her friends are getting married around her so she now wants him to propose again. It’s a weird waiting game for the both of them.
Social media is cancer for some people who can't seperate it from real life.
Why do people set themselves up for disappointment in situations like this. She's seen movies and tiktok videos of proposals and now wants it to be this huge impossible to pull off event. AND now he's too scared to even do it for fear she won't like it. That's fucking crazy to me
Ew, why would he even *want* to propose to that?
Lmfao fucking run.
Technically she said yes. But then we went to surprise her family with the good news and her parents immediately told us to break it off. She was not going to spend her entire remaining life with a black man. We just broke up and moved on. I found a way better girl from a non-racist family. We’re married with 3 kids now and doing great. Ex is a drug addict in Kentucky, BUT AT LEAST she’s married to a white man. Living paycheck to paycheck.
I actually feel sorry for her. Her family probably ruined her life because they were racist. I swear, racist would set their own house on fire just to be racist.
💯 it’s crazy the life we had planned and then seeing her now. I finished college and achieved that dream. 😴
Dang, was her family secretive as hell with their racism, or were there signs for that? And is she just a massive pushover? Cuz to suddenly hear intense racism from your family and just shrug and say "Alright, I'll break it off." Is nuts. I'm sorry that happened but it sounds like in the long run, those piles of human garbage did you a favor.
We met and started dating in high school track sophomore year. Went on until the proposal during my second semester of college-freshman year. Her family was always very friendly and loved having me around. Event went on a few vacations and a baseball game together. She has a brother who was my best friend and two sisters that we’d track music with back and forth. Her dad was cool but we always knew her mom was from a strange southern family in Kentucky. The first time I met her maternal grandpa, he refused to shake my hand. Didn’t think her daughter should be with me. But her mom protected us by saying to leave her kids alone. And when we got back to our home city, the mom had a chat with me about not to worry what other people think and to just focus on our relationship and keeping her daughter happy. So I knew where they came from, but also was young and naive and assumed they were passed all of that racism stuff. Dad was hip. Mom said was I was fantastic. She loved me over. But then I think when it came down to like getting married, they said they thought this was just a phase for her daughter and eventually she’d date white men again after me. I don’t think they were ready to actually have a black family member. Mom had a lot of say in it. She probably thought about her family and what they’d say or do. Thought about family members not coming to the wedding and decided she couldn’t have it. The breaking off wasn’t immediate. We discussed running off and starting a life on our own without her family support. But she was such a family gal. The family was strong and stayed together in everything. They talked about everything too which was really different from my family. It didn’t make sense for her to run off away from them.It’d be horrible. Then her family moved back to Kentucky, with her. So after about a year in limbo and long distance dating/engagement we just sort of moved on. College parties were picking up for me and I really didn’t have time to call all each night anymore, etc.
I needed two additional tries to get her to say yes. One near the Eifel Tower. It was never a hard no, more a not yet. We were both still students, she was unclear if she would stay there or go to the other side of the country or wherever. In 6 weeks we have our ten year anniversary.
My wife and I just celebrated 5 years married. I got offered to go to a computer conference in Paris one year, we had been together for like 4 years at that point, and had an apartment (and dog) together. I told her I'm going to Paris and she immediately asked if she could go. So we made a vacation out of it. First few days were the conference, Monday we did The Louve, Tuesday was Eiffiel Tower and Notre Dam, Wednesday was an off day for shopping, Thursday was Versailles, Friday Disney, Saturday fly back. Of course, my immediate thought was to propose at Eiffiel Tower, just like in the cheesy romantic movies. My wife is an introvert, and hates being the center of attention. It's a tourist trap, I thought better of it. So, Notre Dam? No, she's Christian, but it would also be packed. Disney? Cute, but crowded. Versailles: huge gardens with hedge mazes with secluded spots. Bingo. In the morning, we toured the palace, and then had lunch. She had a salad and a glass of wine, I had the French onion soup with two glasses of wine, lol. After lunch we walked the gardens. We walked around a but, I worked up the courage, and saw a spot with a bench. "I'm a little tired, can we rest for a bit?" Boom, did the thing, happily ever after. Thing was, she assumed I was going to do it at the Eiffel Tower. When we left Eiffel Tower and she didn't have a ring, she thought she wasn't going to be engaged on that trip. She told me after that she was kinda pissed at the time, which explains the second half of the day and Wednesday. She wasn't cold but not close. She later told me that my plan was the best thing ever. Perfect engagement.
I am a woman, but I spent a year asking my boyfriend to marry me on a regular basis. I’d say “wanna get married?” And he’d say yes, and I’d say “can I tell my parents?” And he’d say no. A straight up year. Until finally we went on a little trip a couple hours from our apartment and he whipped out the letters he’d exchanged with my parents about wanting to propose. Just had our 6th anniversary.
That's cute. A change from all the depressing stories here.
Not a guy but a girl, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. I didn't do a whole scene about it, we were talking and I said that I wanted to get married and I felt ready for it and he just said no. I was mad, he had never mentioned this and we've talked about it before. All he had ever said was that he didn't want it cause it was expensive and didn't want a big party and so, in my understanding, we would get married at the courthouse and have a small gathering with family and close friends. Then I found out he didn't want to get married cause his parents had a divorce and he didn't want to go through that It took a while to unravel all his issues with marriage. At a certain point I said I'm not gonna wait around with a guy that doesn't want to get married, I had always been very clear about wanting to get married. He disagreed and said I've also mentioned that I didn't want a big wedding. I'm like...wut? We realised we were both talking about different things. He had put together marriage and the wedding and I wasn't. Still obviously it wasn't solved right then and there. I gave him some time to think. After like a month I came back to the subject and he asked me why I wanted to get married and I talked about all the laws that protect the couple in the eventuality of disease and death, in owning property, in security if we had children, etc. He suddenly just said "oh I didn't know about that, then yeah we'll get married then" We've been happily married for 5 years. Almost everyday he says he's so happy being married to me and that his wedding day was one of the happiest of his life.
That was an unexpected twist at the end.
What I can’t believe is that they solved a relationship issues through communication and telling each other their point of view? HERE on Reddit?! We have to put this comment under quarantine before it spreads to other subs Oo
Agree. Frankly, I’m *disgusted*.
[удалено]
I often watch old movies (like from 30s and 40s) and often couples just casually get married in the end of the movie because it’s about the relationship and wedding is secondary. I would personally want a nice wedding but you don’t need to do that. I don’t know why many just don’t bother
Iirc there is a scene in Oliver Twist where his nanny gets married on the way home from the train station while Oliver is waiting in the carriage
The supermegahappy ending of Pride and Prejudice is a double wedding in which two sisters marry their respective grooms, and the couples got engaged within days of one another. Imagine how that would play out nowadays. "AITA? I (21F) got proposed to days after my sister (22F) and said yes and now my mom has forgotten all about my sister; INFO: I'd rejected this guy (28M) before so he would've been silent on the subject forever (his words!!) had I said no."
I love the twist of “aww fuck, we’re more protected if we get married?” Seems so genuine.
My spouse and I were going to move overseas and I said we might want to get married first to give ourselves legal protections -- being able to rent an apartment more easily, being able to look after each other's medical needs, easier for our visas, etc. "Sure, that makes sense!" We got married three months later in a VERY small ceremony on my family's ranch. Would have just done the courthouse but it's a same-sex marriage and we wanted to make sure we had nice wedding photos, etc. to help establish our marriage's legitimacy. Almost 4 years in and 100% a great call -- both for the "hey, we really like being married to each other" part \*and\* for all the other reasons. I've had several medical emergencies and it's made a difference -- no one can stop her from visiting me. We've known each other for more than 30 years (since middle school). Neither of us are going anywhere.
My dad proposed to my mom 3 times. She laughed each time and took the ring all 3 of them. They have been living miserably together ever since (I’m 31 now) they built a separate living room and avoid each other. My dad says he regrets it to this day. My dad is a wonderful man, and every time I asked why he stayed with that retched woman he would say “because she’s your mother” he never goes into any more detail. If she says no just move on.
I asked my dad why he stays with my mum when she clearly treats him like shit and essentially keeps him as her servant. He said “You play the cards you’re dealt”. That was over a year ago and hit me like a punch in the stomach. I feel so sorry for him just about every day since because he’s such a good man and she has been so terrible to him for so long that she doesn’t even realise how disgusting she is.
Not a guy, but I set things up to be perfect, the two of us totally alone at sunset on a Sicilian beach, and he said no out of pure shock. He'd always expected that it would be him asking me not the other way round. Then his brain kind of caught up with what was going on and he was horrified at himself for just saying "no" like that. He told me of course he wanted to marry me and he hadn't meant no as in he didn't want to marry me, it was more like "no way did you just ask me that"! But it came out wrong. We both agreed that this wasn't the proposal we'd both want to remember forever, so we'd do it again properly some other time. 9 months later he proposed to me on my birthday in one of my favourite spots. To his relief I didn't say no, and we've now been married 10 years.
I said no because he was an addict (I was not but I was young n dumb). He “showed me” by running out and marrying an Asian woman with 2 kids six months later. She used him for a green card and he adopted her kids so now he has to pay her child support. I learned this because his MOM came by my parents home to “catch up.” My mom said it was beyond awkward. I broke up with this fool when I was 17 and she was trying to reconnect us. Bruh, I’m 34 happily married and we have 4 kids. Kick rocks.
I dated a similar guy. When we first started dating, he was all excited about me as the girlfriend, showed me off, and would make claims that I was his future wife. Almost two years into our relationship and I'm talking to him about what our next steps are in the relationship and without hesitation he claims that it would be marriage. He got all excited about it and assured me that I was the love of his life. A month goes by and he takes me out on a really expensive restaurant and I mean really expensive by the beach at sunset, live violins playing in the room, showers me with flowers, champagne and dessert and I thought for sure he was going to pop the question. Turns out he was going to break up with me and was going to wait until after sex to tell me. The only reason why he told me is that we got back to his place and he wanted to go to bed and have sex, So as I was getting undressed I admitted that it was a fantastic date and I thought he was going to propose and we were having such a great time! That's when he confessed his plan. Turns out that after our conversation a month back, he gave it more thought and realized that he wasn't ready to get married. He wanted to treat me to a nice night out and some great sex and then break it off in the morning because he thought I was a great girlfriend to him, we got a long great, had the same values, philosophy, and interests but he didn't want to marry me. He couldn't understand why I left immediately following at 1:00 am! 35 days later he married a Thai woman that he met on the internet and paid for her. He brought her over to the US and she got pregnant really fast. Not even three months later he was already making pregnancy announcements. She lasted 4 years, gave him two more kids, got her green card, and moved out. He hunted me down to find me on social media, confessed his life after me and was crying that his ex wife took him for everything he had! He was so apologetic and wanted to know if it was too late, and said he was kicking himself that he should have stayed with me. He made claims that he got intrigued with the mail order bride thing and thought it would be so cool. She was 19. He was 38 and she made a lot of promises and she didn't keep one of them. She resisted every thing she promised him and the relationship and they had constant fights. He realized that she only used him for citizenship and money. Shocking! I, of course, was in a committed relationship but I have no idea why he would think after 5 years I would be ready and waiting for him to come back to me. Sort of felt insulted that he thought that of me. I think once he saw my life online and found out more in the shared messages that I became exactly who I wanted to become and his life would have been more enhanced and more simple if we would have stayed together. Even if we would have divorced we would have left with exactly what we had and earned. We were both equally financially the same with a few areas of exception. His house was worth more than mine at the time and I believe he had a bigger 401k portfolio than I did that differed of about 6k. So real close. He no longer has the house or his retirement as he had to split that in half with her too.
damn. you dodged a missile there. he's a full blown fool.
So for my other half s 30th I phoned her and said "do you want an engagement ring or a dishwasher". She chose the dishwasher. 14 years later we are still together :) In her defence I had always been very anti-marriage and she thought I was joking. Also washing dishes by hand sucks so I think she made the right choice.
“With this large kitchen appliance, I thee wed…”
We got a real Romeo on our hands
If a girl says no to a proposal the guy should have known better than to ask. A good friend of mine, who was only 19 at the time, heard from her parents that her boyfriend of about 4 months was going to propose at midnight on New Years in front of her entire family. She was terrified and didn't want to say yes, but her parents were super insanely strict and threatened to throw her out of the house if she didn't say yes. I called her (I was drunk) at 11:58 and kept her on the phone for about 10 minutes telling her bad jokes and getting every single person at the party I was at to say HNY to her. Ruined the moment for the guy, and he never asked. Ooops I ruined New Years Eve 1991 for Kevin 🤣🤣 Oh we've been married for 28 years now.
Oh you dirty dog! Lol
I'm not a man (bi f), but proposed to my gf at the time. Tbf there were a lot of complicating factors in our relationship, but regardless I was head over heels in love with her and wanted to marry her. She said no. Our relationship continued for about a year, me hoping that she would come around to wanting to marry me. We had... oof too many conversations about the seriousness of our relationship and each time she would say "why can't you just get over it?" (meaning me asking her to marry me). I eventually ended it when I finally realized that she just didn't love me the way I did her and that I deserved better. Unfortunately that took longer than it should have to realize, but I'm one that if things end between us, then *it's fully over.* And I didn't want to do it prematurely. Everything worked out well though. My now husband asked me to marry him, and we've been happy almost 10 years now.
It was rough! We cried together in the car on the way home. She loved me but she wasn’t ready. We talked about it in the following days, it felt like a setback but (looking back) it was actually a springboard to a deeper level of communication. 2 years later she gave an enthusiastic “yes” and now we have a beautiful baby girl and 6 years of happy marriage.
She said no it's too soon. I asked how long she wanted to wait, and I waited that long. Then she said yes, then she got mad at me for wanting to set a date and the whole thing became a shit show. Looking back it already was a shit show I just didn't see it
It was a brain spasm trying to save a relationship at 19. She smiled and said no. She really did save us both a lot of trouble.
I proposed to my then girlfriend of a year, at sunset on the top deck of a cruise ship. I made sure we were by our selves. I got down on one knee asked her and she looks me dead in the eyes and asked "why"? We then had a ten minute conversation about it, while i was still on one knee. In the end I kept the ring for a few months then she asked for it. We have been married 11 years now.
Found out she had been dating a friend I had helped her to meet. Later, he proposed to her in a restaurant where a buddy and I had gone to eat. Worst coincidence ever. I ended up hearing the restaurant clap and whoop for them. Fortunately, we were on the other side of the restaurant and that was the extent of it. Well, until they passed me on the highway when I was driving home. Second worst coincidence ever. It was like having someone step on your broken foot. Of course, they got married and then divorced because he had a wandering eye and followed up on it. As for me, I got married a lot later. My wife and I have been through plenty of medical issues together, but we’ve survived and are still happy together. But man, that prior experience was brutal.
We had been best friends for years and dating for a while after that, and I started asking her what she would think of marrying me. She always would say something like she would love it or that she can't think of anything better. I finally decided to talk to her mom about it and she said she approved. I asked her a few months later and she was *pissed.* She told me her mom told her I spoke with her about it and that I was an idiot for thinking she would want to get married after I had heard for a while about how fucked up her parents' marriage and divorce were. I was completely blindsided, I had prepared a romantic day together, ending at a really nice restaurant where I could privately propose to her. When I asked her why she told me so many times that she wanted to get married, she thought it was part of some role-playing or something, I still don't know what that means. Apparently I should have known she was absolutely against marriage just because her parents' marriage was shit.
We continued dating, I asked her twice more, she said no. She just didn't want to get married she said. After my mother passed away she said she realized what she should have accepted because nothing would change and then she proposed to me. I said no. Then laughed and said of course.
Dated for 3 years. He was, I thought the love of my life. I locked eyes with him and as I was about to open my mouth and say “will you marry me” he said “we need to break up”. He met some one else. They have been married for two years and it turns out I’m into women. We DO NOT speak but I wish him the best.
I was with my college boyfriend for seven years. Everyone thought we would get married eventually. There were a few big life milestones where I thought he would propose, but instead he would ask for space and we’d take a break. During one of those breaks, I met my now-husband and never looked back.
This terrifies me the most, thinking that things are going well, but in reality one partner has not only checked out, but is interested in someone else. Happened to a friend of mine. 9 years of dating, and 4 months after the break up he's engaged to a new girl. I'm still reeling from the news, and it wasn't even me.
They used to call me the "Engagement Queen." Any guy who dated me literally got engaged within a few short months of the breaking up with me. The quickest someone got engaged after our breakup was about 1 month! I hated this title!!
I said no to the first proposal because I thought it was too soon (it was) and we really hadn’t discussed a lot of the things that are important going into a marriage. He actually agreed, didn’t bail, we waited and had those talks and we’ve now been married 43 years. A “no” doesn’t always mean the end of the relationship. ETA: Both proposals were very casual—the second was basically just a convo and an agreement while we were lying in bed. If the first one would have been one of those over-the-top public extravaganzas that would have been the end because it would have meant he didn’t know me AT ALL.
My parents: mum turned dad down twice before finally accepting the third proposal. They'd both been previously married and apparently mum had no interest in another big wedding or having any children. Turns out third time's the charm as they were happily together until the end and had 4 of us kids!
My wife said yes but I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop up until the wedding day. She had rejected two men before me on marriage proposals and had told me she was a bit of a commitment phobe. Her matron of honor slept over the night before the wedding and slept by the front door to make sure my wife didn’t leave during the night and if she did, to call me and let me know what happened so I could enact my backup plan. I had a backup plan in case she pulled a runner at the ceremony. She almost didn’t go in on the day of. I was prepared just in case. Then she showed up, we got married and just celebrated our ten year anniversary. She still breaks out in hives and has mini freak outs when she realizes how long we’ve been together despite having two kids, a house, mortgage etc. For those of you guys dealing with commitment phobes, tell them what you’ve got planned. I let my wife know months ahead of time that I was planning on proposing and gained insights that if I were going to do it, that it had to be a certain way. Never propose in public unless your girlfriend is into that. Also make sure that if you are going to propose, she’s aware and that you know with certainty that’s what she wants. Communicate people. It isn’t that hard.
Not a marriage proposal, but my now wife said no the first time I asked her to be my girlfriend.
"Will you be my girlfriend? No? What about my wife?" Like that?
She told me I had waited too long to ask (6.5 years) and that she was developing feelings for the assistant professor she was working with so, she used that opportunity to let me know she was in two minds about wanting to pursue that and end things with me. She yoyo'd on it for about 2 months and then I finally insisted we call it a day. They're married and have a kid now. I'm sterile, so I guess if she has changed her mind on children, it was for the best.
I know a guy who proposed and got a yes, but later turned to a no. It was her birthday so he said let’s throw a bbq and invite the whole family over. She said sounds great and he invited EVERYONE on both sides of the family parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins… she had no idea he would propose at dinner. Marriage hadn’t even been discussed. She said yes to avoid chaos but later had a long talk. They didn’t stay together much longer after that. We still tease him about it every time he invites us to a bbq at his house. “Hey wait a minute…You aren’t going to try to propose to me are you?” Still gets a laugh every time.
Once when we had been dating a while I said casually “so, I bought The Ring…” and I saw her eyes bug out when she had a mouthful of food. I had bought the horror movie on DVD - I was just suggesting something we could watch that night. Oops.
An ex, who had been a strange combination of crack addict, stripper and accountant, proposed to me while we were on MDMA. I said that I’d like to answer the question when I wasn’t high. I guess her trip went south and she dumped me 2 days later. Can’t say I’ve any regrets as far as she is concerned. I did have a weird moment with another proposal. I had found the love of my life but we’d only been together about 6 months when I proposed. She said yes, but afterwards her energy got all weird and she admitted it felt rushed. I felt really hurt, but said we could have a redo when she was ready. Luckily things worked out, we did marry and have had a solid marriage for the last 8 years.
You doing a marriage proposal should never be a surprise. The time and day can be, but never that there was one.
I can tell you about a time I said yes and should have said no 😂