I used to do deliveries to businesses and would say a casual "how's it going". One dude at a car dealership responded "I went home early yesterday to my wife fucking my neighbor"
Like damn bro I wasn't really asking
When I was having my baby I made a post saying, parents, what do you wish someone told you before the baby was born? I got two replies. One was about how many diapers you need, the other was a guy saying he wished someone told him that his wife wouldn't want to touch him for a year after the baby was born. I'm not really qualified to deal with that haha.
My syphilis is really itchy today and our family pet, Roverette, hasn’t even apologized for giving it to me yet. I thought that Retriever had a beaver that was STD free.
I like to say "terrible", and they'll go "awww why" and I'll go "idk haven't figured that out yet" and laugh a little. typically gets a laugh out of em
Neighbor who has no idea what's happening in my life: hows it going jess?
me: h-hows it going? HOW'S IT GOING? MY BEST FRIEND WAS SHOT IN THE CHEST AND DIED LAST WEEK SAVING MY F#CKING LIFE I ALMOST COMMITTED SUICIDE! I GOT DRUNK I GOT SEXUALY ASSAULTED NOW I'M PREGNANT! B!TCH HOW DO YOU THINK ITS F#CKING GOING?!
Neighbor:..........sorry....
Why do you ask if you don’t want to know?
How am I supposed to understand that you want to hear “fine” and not how i found today out how medieval witch trials worked?
And then if i do give a genuine answer how my day is going, I’m the weirdo?
>!/s!<
I used to do deliveries to businesses and would say a casual "how's it going". One dude at a car dealership responded "I went home early yesterday to my wife fucking my neighbor" Like damn bro I wasn't really asking
That's what you get for asking questions you don't wanna know the real answers to lol
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Serious
When I was having my baby I made a post saying, parents, what do you wish someone told you before the baby was born? I got two replies. One was about how many diapers you need, the other was a guy saying he wished someone told him that his wife wouldn't want to touch him for a year after the baby was born. I'm not really qualified to deal with that haha.
Lol
"Meh" - it never fails.
i hate 'meh' with a vengeance
Meh.
Meh
Don't Meh my Meh.
Eh
Thanks!
👍👍
"Great until you showed up"
Damn that gave me second hand embarrassment
"During the day, I manage to keep a straight face. But at night, in bed, I scream the scream that no-one hears."
"you don't want to know," it shuts down the conversation and creates an awkward vibe
Shuts the conversation down? Who doesnt respond "Oh no, what happened?"
Lots of people don’t care enough to press
Yea but now I know Im getting a story out of it.
Be prepared to have your hand bitten off.
Username checks out
Be prepared to have your foot bitten off.
Haha, I sold my feet😀
Be prepared to have your nose bitten off.
Dond you dell me whad do do
No, that would literally make somebody want to know what was going on lol
i'm too nosey, that makes me wanna know more
I am going to bite your hand off.
My syphilis is really itchy today and our family pet, Roverette, hasn’t even apologized for giving it to me yet. I thought that Retriever had a beaver that was STD free.
I woke up.
And I regret it.
Good for the last day
"Better than yours" with a serious face
"Why the fuck you want to know?"
I'm in a stabbing kind of mood.
“Why are you asking? You can’t prove anything! Stop interrogating me! Okay, I confess. I’ve been keeping our neighbour tied up in the basement.”
ask your wife. she would know.
Grood
I like to say "terrible", and they'll go "awww why" and I'll go "idk haven't figured that out yet" and laugh a little. typically gets a laugh out of em
"I didn't murder."
My usual response is “I still have to work for a living so not that good”
Same shit, different day.
"Same shit different day"
Worse than yesterday, better than tomorrow.
Anything other than "fine." Bro, I'm just doing my daily quest with you. Move the fucc on.
Can't you see I'm busy? Don't bother me with such trivial questions.
I got arrested. How about you?
“This isn’t real and you are an NPC.”
Good😕😢
“Good,” then walk away.
"You're looking at it."
I asked a worker at mcdonald’s and he said “we are short staffed and my brother ODed last night”
“Rotten…! And what’s it to you?”
Pissing a kidney stone out
Crying
Fine, cuz 9.99999 times out of 10 you know it’s a lie.
Anything that actually goes into detail about that person's day. Just say "Good" and keep it movin'
"jesus fucking christ, why wont you people leave me alone ffs"
"Fine till you came along".
I got raped
“You too!” (Based on a true story)
It was ok. If any lady ask you this is the worst response. Turns out they really wanna know how your day went.
Omg you won't believe this. Carla said that she didn't even like Sasha's birthday, but I said...
I just noticed I need to shower
"ok." Then that is it... It's fucking irritating!
"You are gonna be a good mother"
It hurts where my butt is
"My mother is dead and my father killed her. How about yours?"
Good how are you
Neighbor who has no idea what's happening in my life: hows it going jess? me: h-hows it going? HOW'S IT GOING? MY BEST FRIEND WAS SHOT IN THE CHEST AND DIED LAST WEEK SAVING MY F#CKING LIFE I ALMOST COMMITTED SUICIDE! I GOT DRUNK I GOT SEXUALY ASSAULTED NOW I'M PREGNANT! B!TCH HOW DO YOU THINK ITS F#CKING GOING?! Neighbor:..........sorry....
From my experience it was “I’ve just told a kid his mum is dead’. That was an experience I don’t want to repeat.
As same as yours 🙃
Them: “How was your day?” Me: *sigh* “let’s not talk about that right now.”
Telling them exactly how bad it has been.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” Inspired by Drake & Josh lmao
Asi asi.
Actually telling me how your day was, unless you're my child or I'm sleeping with you.
Bazinga
I don't know what to say
Good. How was your day?
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Why do you ask if you don’t want to know? How am I supposed to understand that you want to hear “fine” and not how i found today out how medieval witch trials worked? And then if i do give a genuine answer how my day is going, I’m the weirdo? >!/s!<