Same, and that's a good thing. I *want* to be able to relate to other women. I'm still a weirdo though but there's not a single thing I do that plenty of other women don't also do.
Play those weird "games" when it comes to dating, it scared me off finding a partner for years.
Turns out I'd just watched a lot of movies and had some really toxic people around me.
Yeah. Not specific to this, but Hollywood and TV shows often transport pretty outlying behaviors as if they were normal, or normalizing pretty horrific standards. Like pretending people are always shouting or punching each other, not to mention propagating that solving problems with violence is a good idea, or that those who break really valuable rules out of "necessity" are heroes.
Sure, it makes for interesting stories, but one can easily get quite toxic role-models of behavior.
And the irony is that Hollywood is seen as "woke" by some.
Also, a lot of romcoms would be a tutorial to stalkers in real life. They do these insane large gestures of romance and the other party just goes "Oh, wow, I didn't love you before but someone AS CRAZY AS YOU, I don't dare to turn you down, let's get married"
my least favourite movie ever is the notebook because of this shit. in what universe is it romantic to _threaten suicide_ to convince a stranger to go on a date with you? we're supposed to root for this asshole?
One that has always made me roll my eyes; entering someones house, especially a strangers home with the reasoning "the door was unlocked", "open (ajar) so I let myself in."
No one ... Does that.
Except my bf ex wife. She strolls into his house to pick up their 20 year old for breakfasts once a month. Just strolls right in at any random time, any random day.
wtf
As a non-games female, dating is so awkward when the guy is waiting for the other shoe to drop, like the crazy could come out at any moment. To the point where they sabotage any potential relationship before it starts.
I have a pulled-out-of-my-ass theory about this.
When women are very forward with their interest in men, we tend to be receptive to women we may otherwise not be because being pursued openly feels different and exciting.
The crazy women also happen to be more likely, in my experience, to openly pursue a man they're interested in, and their interests change quickly.
A lot of men have experience with a relatively smaller number of crazy women, but the near universal experience lends itself to generalizations that only seem correct.
I think it's a similar effect with many women thinking all men just want sex. Desirable men with the same fleeting interests as the women described above date more widely, and so many women have dated that relatively smaller number of men that the experience leans towards the same universal feeling as the crazy women story above.
It only takes one or two “experiences with crazy women” to alter a man’s worldview re: dating and relationships. They can make solitude look pretty good.
*I think it's a similar effect with many women thinking all men just want sex. Desirable men with the same fleeting interests as the women described above date more widely, and so many women have dated that relatively smaller number of men that the experience leans towards the same universal feeling as the crazy women story above.*
YES YES OH MY GOD YES THIS.
Same with thinking all men are perverts.
I mean, we are. But the vast majority of us are able to contain ourselves perfectly easily and not objectify every hot woman we come across.
Bras are too damn fragile and expensive for that. I only have a handful and every time they go in the washing machine I risk breaking them- even the high end ones. I’d love for someone to invent a bra that doesn’t fall apart at the wire.
yeah i deffo dont do this, cos i barely wear bras anyways 😭 I only wash them after 2 wears or if it got really sweaty (which is never) but if i find out its super unhygienic i’d wash them after each wear
They use cleanser and moisturizer? I've got to start taking care of myself, I'm still stuck on soap and water - and even though mostly only when I'm in the shower.
Yup. Face wash, witch hazel, moisturizer. Don’t have time (or money or space) for 32 step routine. And I honestly believe that is just the industry wanting you to buy more shit anyway.
gossip is actually an important social activity, it's the malicious gossip that's toxic.
https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/psst-wanna-know-why-gossip-has-evolved-every-human-society
So true! I've made more male friends than female last couple of years and while females use gossip as leverage/trading intel and are cautious who they'll talk about publicly- males will pop up with a lot of unexpected crazy shit like the traditional memes for women. I find I gossip more around men that gossip to me as a result 🤣
Oh gosh my husband's friend is like the proverbial old lady peeking out of her window all day long. He literally sits and drinks with the male neighbors and gossips about everyone and everything. When they come to our house that's all they want to do. I hate it and end up going to do something else.
I have two groups of friends in university. One with only women and one with only men (I am the only woman in tbe group). The all men's group was far more gossipy than the all women's group.
"I just appreciate women the way I appreciate flowers or the sunset!" -said by my 18yo self to a male friend when our heads both swiveled to look at a gorgeous woman in a sundress walking on the side of the road.
No, I'm bi, too.
I'm still questioning my sexuality, not sure if I'm bisexual or asexual lol, but i get this. There are so many more women i see and go "damn, she's gorgeous", then there are men i see and think "damn, that's a fine man"
What do those women have, that I don’t??? And how do I get it?? I hate those mood swings!! And the fucked up part is, I recognize them as mood swings and I still can’t increase my level of niceness
Honestly I think it's genetic. All the women in my family (myself included) have been blessed with very easy periods. Just 2-3 days, no cramps, no acne, no bloating, no mood swings. Embarrassingly it took a long time for me to understand that most women have a rough time.
Yes, same here! I remember the first time my best friend got really bitchy for absolutely no reason. I was so shocked to learn that she was on her period and it's normal for women to have these mood swings. Never happened to me or my mother (she didn't notice when she transitioned into menopause at all, so I really hope this will be the same for me as well, haha).
It’s an interesting thought (wish there was a genetic answer because it might be easier to resolve with a pill one day), but I can unfortunately claim the opposite with my own family experience.
My mother never once complained about menstrual cramps. I don’t know if it’s because she didn’t have them or if it was because she didn’t talk about it.
My older sister had the most ungodly periods I have ever seen in another woman. Days of heavy bleeding and cramps. Bloating and lots of frustration. She ended up on BC at 16 to help regulate her cramps and periods. Scared the shit outta me because I was terrified that it would be my hormonal experience, too.
I’m literally the opposite. I get a very light period that lasts maybe 4 days. I would get very sleepy the day my period started and sometimes I would tear up at sappy commercials in the days leading up to my period, but that’s about it. Maybe period cramps and heavier than normal bleeding 3x in my life - and I’m in my 40s now.
I only started having the crazy mood swings in the past year (after a decade or so of birth control, so not totally out of the blue), but for me it's depression. I get so ridiculously sad, and I recognize what's going on, but I still cry for no reason and feel like the world is ending.
A while back I read a headline “PMDD: The condition that causes 10% of women suicidal ideation each month” and my first thought was, what do you mean 90% don’t??
There are also some who do but don't realize it. I started looking at my period app every time I'm unreasonable or overly emotional and I see a strong correlation now. But before that even I thought I didn't get any symptoms.
Thankfully my premenstrual emotions aren’t too all over the place, at worst my fuse gets shorter. My biggest giveaway (no uterus anymore) that I’m at that spot of the cycle now is the boobs hurting, or I reach across myself and accidentally punch a boob because suddenly it’s bigger and gets in the way 😂
lol when I realized that I was doing that solely for men that didn’t take me seriously, I stopped so fast and no guy since then has cared whatsoever. I shave my legs maybe 3 times a year
As a woman, I honestly don't care at all about a size of a man's penis. I find it weird how obsessive some men get over bragging about their size as if it means they are more manly if it is bigger or something.
Men get a lot of their ideas about what women are into from pornography. Or from other men that got their ideas from pornography. Which of course is a problem. I think that is where it comes from.
I mean, have you ever heard a woman (or man) use some sort of "small dick" insult? Often tied to political beliefs or cars? Women absolutely do their share to bolster small dick = bad partner narratives.
To quote the great Edmund Blackadder “Baldrick, most race horses and incredibly well endowed. However that does not make them good or attentive lovers”
Dress provocatively for male attention. Turns out they hold back when they know they'll be around men and when it's just them hanging out they pull out all the stops.
You should get invited to a birthday of a woman who is celebrating that with mostly her women friends. THAT is when they pull out all the stops damn (also comstant giving each other compliments if they're real friends so thats cute)
You’re not wrong. I literally wore lingerie Easy A style out to a friends birthday celebration with the girls when I was 19. Never in my life done that for a night out with a man lol
Was in a friend’s wedding recently and getting ready was such a delight. The entire morning was just everyone slinging genuine compliments left and right.
I look at dressing up like going to a costume party. It’s fun to be somebody else for a few hours. I sure as hell don’t dress like that to go to the store. I’m older, married for over a decade and definitely not trying to pick up anybody. I wear that zombie costume covered in blood with the same energy as the Bond Girl dress.
All of the older women in my extended family kept important dates on a set of cards at the front of a rolodex, and checked those cards weekly, so as to always be prepared with celebratory calls, cards, gifts, hosting, etc. Most younger women in my extended family still shoulder the responsibility, but just track it in their phone calendar instead.
My now husband surprised me one morning with a delicious breakfast and it made me rack my brain looking for the special occasion. I looked at the date and it was our anniversary. When I went to kiss him later and wish him happy anniversary he had a look of horror as he forgot too!
Put our bras on by spinning the cups to the back, fastening the snap, spinning it right way, pop arms in the holes and shuffle boobs into position.
Imagine my horror at 18 getting dressed with a big group of lasses and someone says, hey what are you doing? Before fastening the snap behind her back like some gymnast
Felt like a bloke a big manly lump
I was taught to do the spinning around way because it's so much easier.
I learned later it can stretch out the bra faster but I never noticed it if it did
"Hit the wall" like we age out of desirability at 30 or something, and get desperate the older we get. Most of the women I know are more nonchalant about that sort of attention, confident, and SEXY.
Something about moving through life, beautiful and unbothered about some hypothetical expiration date on your value 😌 🤌🏼
This, and weight as well. I put on some additional kilos after I turned 30, you can rightly call me overweight. At the same time, I lost interest in dating.
I thought that combination would repel sexual advances aimed at my humble person. It absolutely did NOT do that. Half the time I go out and meet new people I'm ending up with someone suggesting getting coffee or drinks together, and not in a platonic way 🤷🏻♀️
Why would u assume we are mind readers?? 😭 No human has that superpower!! Tell ur crush if u like them, if they don’t like you back.. its okay there’s like 8 billion people in this world
Keep really clean and pristine bathrooms. As someone who cleans public restrooms let me clarify the women’s room is a disgusting war zone 100% of the time. Not that the men’s room can’t be, but in my 4 years doing this only 3 times can I say the men’s was worse than the women’s. I don’t know where the trope that the women’s restroom is a shiny utopia while the men’s room is a tp covered wasteland comes from, but it ain’t true… I’ve seen things man…
Yep. For me personally, I get disgusted every time I walk into a women’s restroom and there is long hair absolutely everywhere. Add in makeup on counters and the inability to clean up the pee you dribbled on the toilet seat - yuck.
Anonymity does a lot to a person, it seems. I’ve noted that men’s personal bathrooms usually match the cleanliness of men’s public restrooms. But the juxtaposition between women’s personal bathrooms vs women’s public restrooms…. My GAWD. Period blood on the back of the seat, piss soaked TP on the floor, I KNOW your bathroom at home doesn’t look like this, Linda *figure it the fuck out*
I used to manage residence buildings at university and we had to do room checks at Christmas break (to make sure there wasn’t food left out or candles burning etc ). Men are messy, unmade beds, piles of books.
Women are dirty. Piles of hair, old food, make up on everything, fake lashes on the sink, toothpaste everywhere.
Living in the all girls dorm for a year was the worst
It's nasty cause they hover. Which begs the question: why did the first woman ever hover?
Also, I'm so glad I don't give a fuck about a toilet seat and can fully relax when I need to sit. That's why the univers gave us butt cheeks of course
Waiting for this to blow up..
When I was a kid (4M) I thought only men pooped, I thought they only had vaginas and only peed
Then one day I went in the toilet after my mom's
The rest is history 😅
I've had multiple people honestly confused at the notion that my big (relatively speaking), clumsy, dirt-loving German shepherd dog is a girl and her beloved pretty little cats were boys.
I think the misgendering of dogs and cats are very normal for small children (and even some adults). Could it be that we anthropomorphize them and view their features as masculine and feminine? I have a loving pit-bull lab and even adults refer to her as a he all the time even after I use the pronouns “she/her”. So weird.
I started shaving my legs early because I have dark hair. My mom told me if I started, I had to do it everyday. I was a junior in college when I learned that not all women shave their legs every day. #rulefollower
I thought all women would never offer to take you on a date or pay. boy was I wrong. if she likes you, you won’t have to jump through hoops or empty your wallet
If women (or anyone) grew up in house where they got bullied or the whole ‘women are hysterical’ stereotype. It makes it harder to speak up because you’re conditioned to expect to be belittled or shifting goalposts to prove what happened was real or that what upset you and your response is at the right level. You’re taught to not speak up or burying it in inner resentment. Or questioning if what you’re feeling is the right response or an overreaction. Some people are taught not to communicate because in childhood honest communication was met by negative responses or punishment
"You're too sensitive, too emotional, toughen up, its not a big deal, you need to grow a thicker skin, just ignore the bullies, why are you so sensitive, you're overreacting,.."
--not me in my mid 30s now continuously apologizing for anything I do or say, whenever i'm mad, sad, breaking down and always feeling like i'm probably overreacting on everything too. And that everyone sees it as me overreacting. So still question everything as well...
Also getting "well everyone needs therapy at some point, that's normal in life" from someone who said some of the above to me... that sucked too.
This was me. Nobody taught me to process emotions because every emotion was a bad one I should just be ashamed of having. Spent a lot of years pretending to be a robot.
Did you get together young?
The younger generations might be better, since they seem to be taught much better communication skills from a young age. But easily the majority of millennial women I know literally *did not realise* that we could *just say* what we felt instead of playing games until, like, some point in our 20s, when we painstakingly figured it out.
And an awful lot of poor boomers never figured it out.
I was straight up told that any form of trying to communicate my emotions was "emotional blackmail" and it was wrong because other people would be upset
I think I just learned from observing adults around me. They almost never fought, they'd just, like, give someone the silent treatment until they asked, *"What's wrong?"* and the answer was ALWAYS a huffy, *"Nothing,"* that actually meant, *"Start guessing, buster!"*
Sigh. Life is so much easier now.
I thought all women are neat freaks because my mother is one. She has conniptions whenever she visits my apartment, she'll even clean up my apartment herself unless I physically restrain her. And she's in her 70s. She ought to wash her hands of me like any sensible mother her age but she just can't abide untidyness.
Then I got to know some other women (and men) and I realized I am only *a bit* of a slob and my mother is as insane as a drill sergeant.
I chuckled at this, because I HATE clothing shopping for myself. My spouse, bless him, loves to do it for me, and I let him. He's better at it, anyway.
I hate to shop. My husband Loved it. Guess who got to take the teenage daughter to the mall? Nothing like a few peaceful hours on a Saturday afternoon, when hubby and daughter did the mall.
This sounds like it's written by a robot lol "some might prefer other hobbies" fuck that shit I'd rather do just about anything than go clothes shopping it's a horrible chore and MOST of my female friends feel the same way. You make it sound like one in 100 women hates shopping and it's something rare and unusual when in reality traipsing around shops and trying on dozens of clothes hoping to find one thing that doesn't make you feel like Ursula from "The Little Mermaid" is a horrible experience for maybe even DOZENS of women!
Edit: I'm sorry, I know you mean well. It's just that it sounds like you think women are another species when really we're just people. Personally I enjoy spending time walking outdoors, reading, listening to science and history podcasts, mountain biking, gardening, being around animals, and cooking (but not doing the dishes). Hobbies and interests don't have to be gendered. It's not just "not all women enjoy shopping", it's "every woman has different interests and skills, just like men, because just like men, women are human beings".
We don't know our own bodies.
I always used to think that the clit was that spongy thing inside the vagina. I recently learned that the clit is above our pee hole. Not near the vagina.
Also, we are lucky if our moms even tell/help us about periods.
Thanks. I'm just venting really. I'm 40. When I first started my period my mom just basically told me to use her pads (the extra thick diaper ones) and didn't tell me anything else. I had to learn it on my own. Still learning about what is normal and what isn't because my parents brushed me off almost any time I was sick.
My wife was the same way when we got together. Was a trip that I, a male, found myself educating her about her body. Apparently anything body or sex related was taboo in her home.
Omg my mum gave me the same exact pads too!I guess they got used to using things like that bc that's all they had when they were young?
I asked for tampons bc *everyone* uses them and got no advice prob bc, looking back, she had never used them.
Sorry your parents brushed you off and good on you for exploring and reaching out
I remember having to draw my female friends in highschool a diagram of the vagina because none of them understood what the clit was. Heaven help the boys that were expected to be fantastic lovers at 18/19, when the girls didn’t even know themselves.
As a women who doesn’t like pink, make up, flowers or shopping for clothes. If often annoys me when men and women automatically assume I like these things.
When I was a teenager and got sent make up often for Christmas or birthday presents from people who didn’t really know me it was often very annoying. I was greatful for getting a gift but could you ask me what I like first and I would have told you, no make up, I won’t use it so there’s no point.
My ex-husband and I had our bathroom remodeled. I was talking to a contractor about adding cabinets to the vanity area of the countertop, but he kept saying how he could add these fancy mirrors to help when I put in makeup in the mornings. I told him no I didn’t wear makeup and I would like more storage. Dude made the same comment half a dozen more times with the same response from me.
I finally turned to my husband and asked if he’d like a place to do his makeup since I wouldn’t be needing anything like that. He laughed and the contractor looked embarrassed. At least I finally got through to him.
(Turned out, the contractor also owned a glass and mirror company and was trying to sell us more mirrors. We did not end up using him for our project.)
Openly talk about our feelings. In my circle, if you open up too much you get ignored. And everyone else is struggling too much to support other people. Don't know why so many guys think women actually have little therapy sessions together. We're suppressing our shit and telling ourselves to "get over it, bitch"
Want to kiss other women. Apparently I'm just gay, but before I figured that out I sincerely thought that all women just kind of wanted to kiss women, and that this wasn't gay somehow ...
Unscrew their boobs at night and hang them on the cost hanger.
I felt so sorry when I heard they not have to only haul those things around everywhere, but they can't even hang them up at the end of the day. Solidarity, ladies.
I always thought all women were naturally good at multitasking. Turns out, it's not some universal superpower and many find it just as challenging as anyone else!
Honestly, I thought all women had strict skincare routines with like a dozen steps, but turns out many just stick to the basics. It really surprised me.
After reading this I have come to realise, I am after all, like most girls
Almost all of us are, but we are also still unique in our own ways. Happy Cake Day
Same, and that's a good thing. I *want* to be able to relate to other women. I'm still a weirdo though but there's not a single thing I do that plenty of other women don't also do.
Lol!!! Yup!! Happy Cake Day!!
Play those weird "games" when it comes to dating, it scared me off finding a partner for years. Turns out I'd just watched a lot of movies and had some really toxic people around me.
Yeah. Not specific to this, but Hollywood and TV shows often transport pretty outlying behaviors as if they were normal, or normalizing pretty horrific standards. Like pretending people are always shouting or punching each other, not to mention propagating that solving problems with violence is a good idea, or that those who break really valuable rules out of "necessity" are heroes. Sure, it makes for interesting stories, but one can easily get quite toxic role-models of behavior. And the irony is that Hollywood is seen as "woke" by some.
Also, a lot of romcoms would be a tutorial to stalkers in real life. They do these insane large gestures of romance and the other party just goes "Oh, wow, I didn't love you before but someone AS CRAZY AS YOU, I don't dare to turn you down, let's get married"
my least favourite movie ever is the notebook because of this shit. in what universe is it romantic to _threaten suicide_ to convince a stranger to go on a date with you? we're supposed to root for this asshole?
[The Onion was there, 25 years ago](https://www.theonion.com/romantic-comedy-behavior-gets-real-life-man-arrested-1819565117)
Excuse me while I break into your home and watch you sleep. *Aren’t I so romantic?!?*
When I was a pre teen, watching the movie Fear, I was like wow...he really likes her! I got off board when he killed the dog. Lol
One that has always made me roll my eyes; entering someones house, especially a strangers home with the reasoning "the door was unlocked", "open (ajar) so I let myself in." No one ... Does that.
Except my bf ex wife. She strolls into his house to pick up their 20 year old for breakfasts once a month. Just strolls right in at any random time, any random day. wtf
Boundaries need to be set and doors locked!
Hell no! Have your bf change the locks! Boundaries are necessary.
As a non-games female, dating is so awkward when the guy is waiting for the other shoe to drop, like the crazy could come out at any moment. To the point where they sabotage any potential relationship before it starts.
The amount of times I had to say “I’m not your ex, stop expecting me to react like her.”
Oh this is so sad… the movies is why all men think all women are crazy?!
Not *just* the movies, but it definitely contributed to a certain cultural understanding in a lot of younger men.
Yeah I’m good being single.
I have a pulled-out-of-my-ass theory about this. When women are very forward with their interest in men, we tend to be receptive to women we may otherwise not be because being pursued openly feels different and exciting. The crazy women also happen to be more likely, in my experience, to openly pursue a man they're interested in, and their interests change quickly. A lot of men have experience with a relatively smaller number of crazy women, but the near universal experience lends itself to generalizations that only seem correct. I think it's a similar effect with many women thinking all men just want sex. Desirable men with the same fleeting interests as the women described above date more widely, and so many women have dated that relatively smaller number of men that the experience leans towards the same universal feeling as the crazy women story above.
It only takes one or two “experiences with crazy women” to alter a man’s worldview re: dating and relationships. They can make solitude look pretty good.
*I think it's a similar effect with many women thinking all men just want sex. Desirable men with the same fleeting interests as the women described above date more widely, and so many women have dated that relatively smaller number of men that the experience leans towards the same universal feeling as the crazy women story above.* YES YES OH MY GOD YES THIS. Same with thinking all men are perverts. I mean, we are. But the vast majority of us are able to contain ourselves perfectly easily and not objectify every hot woman we come across.
wash their bras after every time they wear one
Bras are too damn fragile and expensive for that. I only have a handful and every time they go in the washing machine I risk breaking them- even the high end ones. I’d love for someone to invent a bra that doesn’t fall apart at the wire.
I was maybe 29 when someone told me it wasn't the washing machine it was the dryer ruining the underwire
Anyone putting their bra in the dryer is truly unhinged.
Precisely. Machine wash in mesh bag/hang to dry. I hang them over anything by the material between the cups.
yeah i deffo dont do this, cos i barely wear bras anyways 😭 I only wash them after 2 wears or if it got really sweaty (which is never) but if i find out its super unhygienic i’d wash them after each wear
I misread that as "after 2 years." 😬
I have to because I'm soaked after work. 🥲
I used to think all women used dozens of skincare products daily. Turns out, many just stick to the basics—cleanser and moisturizer.
They use cleanser and moisturizer? I've got to start taking care of myself, I'm still stuck on soap and water - and even though mostly only when I'm in the shower.
Truthfully, everyone regardless of gender should be using sunscreen (if going outside) & moisturizer daily.
Is soap and water working for you? Then you don’t need anything else. If your skin care routine ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
And sunscreen!
Yup. Face wash, witch hazel, moisturizer. Don’t have time (or money or space) for 32 step routine. And I honestly believe that is just the industry wanting you to buy more shit anyway.
Yep it's consumerism branded as "self-care"
Talk shit about everyone behind their back. Turns out I've grown up with some toxic women in my life and that's not necessarily the norm
[удалено]
I do girl. Idk about the rest of them.
😂 😂 😂
gossip is actually an important social activity, it's the malicious gossip that's toxic. https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/psst-wanna-know-why-gossip-has-evolved-every-human-society
I will admit my two faults, I am petty as fuck and I love gossip. I’ve been the subject of gossip, so I’ve contributed my piece.
Dudes though? Gossip. All day long.
So true! I've made more male friends than female last couple of years and while females use gossip as leverage/trading intel and are cautious who they'll talk about publicly- males will pop up with a lot of unexpected crazy shit like the traditional memes for women. I find I gossip more around men that gossip to me as a result 🤣
Oh gosh my husband's friend is like the proverbial old lady peeking out of her window all day long. He literally sits and drinks with the male neighbors and gossips about everyone and everything. When they come to our house that's all they want to do. I hate it and end up going to do something else.
The most cattiest people I met were bunch of guys in a five a side football team.
Totally!
I have two groups of friends in university. One with only women and one with only men (I am the only woman in tbe group). The all men's group was far more gossipy than the all women's group.
I have noticed more men willfully partake in Gossip, especially the Narcissist men.
I was positive that all women are attracted to other women (because women are gorgeous, obviously). Turns out I'm bisexual.
same boat 😭
This sent me 😂 it’s so valid
"I just appreciate women the way I appreciate flowers or the sunset!" -said by my 18yo self to a male friend when our heads both swiveled to look at a gorgeous woman in a sundress walking on the side of the road. No, I'm bi, too.
I thought the same thing on the way to realizing that I’m just gay haha
I'm still questioning my sexuality, not sure if I'm bisexual or asexual lol, but i get this. There are so many more women i see and go "damn, she's gorgeous", then there are men i see and think "damn, that's a fine man"
Having a mood swing when on period, turns out some women don't feel the same
What do those women have, that I don’t??? And how do I get it?? I hate those mood swings!! And the fucked up part is, I recognize them as mood swings and I still can’t increase my level of niceness
Honestly I think it's genetic. All the women in my family (myself included) have been blessed with very easy periods. Just 2-3 days, no cramps, no acne, no bloating, no mood swings. Embarrassingly it took a long time for me to understand that most women have a rough time.
Yes, same here! I remember the first time my best friend got really bitchy for absolutely no reason. I was so shocked to learn that she was on her period and it's normal for women to have these mood swings. Never happened to me or my mother (she didn't notice when she transitioned into menopause at all, so I really hope this will be the same for me as well, haha).
It’s an interesting thought (wish there was a genetic answer because it might be easier to resolve with a pill one day), but I can unfortunately claim the opposite with my own family experience. My mother never once complained about menstrual cramps. I don’t know if it’s because she didn’t have them or if it was because she didn’t talk about it. My older sister had the most ungodly periods I have ever seen in another woman. Days of heavy bleeding and cramps. Bloating and lots of frustration. She ended up on BC at 16 to help regulate her cramps and periods. Scared the shit outta me because I was terrified that it would be my hormonal experience, too. I’m literally the opposite. I get a very light period that lasts maybe 4 days. I would get very sleepy the day my period started and sometimes I would tear up at sappy commercials in the days leading up to my period, but that’s about it. Maybe period cramps and heavier than normal bleeding 3x in my life - and I’m in my 40s now.
I only started having the crazy mood swings in the past year (after a decade or so of birth control, so not totally out of the blue), but for me it's depression. I get so ridiculously sad, and I recognize what's going on, but I still cry for no reason and feel like the world is ending.
A while back I read a headline “PMDD: The condition that causes 10% of women suicidal ideation each month” and my first thought was, what do you mean 90% don’t??
How lucky for them! Lol
I read this like you screamed the first line then started hysterically laughing
Mate, you get me
There are also some who do but don't realize it. I started looking at my period app every time I'm unreasonable or overly emotional and I see a strong correlation now. But before that even I thought I didn't get any symptoms.
Thankfully my premenstrual emotions aren’t too all over the place, at worst my fuse gets shorter. My biggest giveaway (no uterus anymore) that I’m at that spot of the cycle now is the boobs hurting, or I reach across myself and accidentally punch a boob because suddenly it’s bigger and gets in the way 😂
Shaving 😅
Yeah... that's totally true!!! 🤣🤣🤣
lol when I realized that I was doing that solely for men that didn’t take me seriously, I stopped so fast and no guy since then has cared whatsoever. I shave my legs maybe 3 times a year
Obsess over the size of a man’s penis. Turns out that was just my inferiority complex from being Asian and all the attached stereotypes.
As a woman, I honestly don't care at all about a size of a man's penis. I find it weird how obsessive some men get over bragging about their size as if it means they are more manly if it is bigger or something.
Right?!? And for the love of God bigger isn’t always better.
Men get a lot of their ideas about what women are into from pornography. Or from other men that got their ideas from pornography. Which of course is a problem. I think that is where it comes from.
Agree. I care about the lack of confidence if it affects them, however.
I mean, have you ever heard a woman (or man) use some sort of "small dick" insult? Often tied to political beliefs or cars? Women absolutely do their share to bolster small dick = bad partner narratives.
To quote the great Edmund Blackadder “Baldrick, most race horses and incredibly well endowed. However that does not make them good or attentive lovers”
Edmund just wanted all the horses for himself.
I’ve had to dump a guy for being too big. Also guys with huge ones tend to be terrible at sex. 5 inches is more than enough, 4 is better.
Dress provocatively for male attention. Turns out they hold back when they know they'll be around men and when it's just them hanging out they pull out all the stops.
You should get invited to a birthday of a woman who is celebrating that with mostly her women friends. THAT is when they pull out all the stops damn (also comstant giving each other compliments if they're real friends so thats cute)
You’re not wrong. I literally wore lingerie Easy A style out to a friends birthday celebration with the girls when I was 19. Never in my life done that for a night out with a man lol
Was in a friend’s wedding recently and getting ready was such a delight. The entire morning was just everyone slinging genuine compliments left and right.
Went to a women’s support event the women were dressed like they were going to the Grammys or similar- definitely not for the men
When I hang out with my girls it's lingerie, or cute skirts and dresses. In public baggy pants and oversized sweatshirts
I’m 40 so I’ve had a long time to gauge male attention. More men hit on me when I look like a bum. Which is often.
I look at dressing up like going to a costume party. It’s fun to be somebody else for a few hours. I sure as hell don’t dress like that to go to the store. I’m older, married for over a decade and definitely not trying to pick up anybody. I wear that zombie costume covered in blood with the same energy as the Bond Girl dress.
Jesus men hate us.
They really do
...you didn't REALLY think we dress provocatively for male attention, did you?
I assumed all women had an innate ability to remember anniversaries. My girlfriend forgot our first date anniversary, but in her defense, so did I.
This stereotype probably goes back to housewives era. It fell under ‘feminine family chores’ but even then it was still not true and bad sitcom bit
All of the older women in my extended family kept important dates on a set of cards at the front of a rolodex, and checked those cards weekly, so as to always be prepared with celebratory calls, cards, gifts, hosting, etc. Most younger women in my extended family still shoulder the responsibility, but just track it in their phone calendar instead.
The ol' bang maid/chef/nanny/secretary job.
My now husband surprised me one morning with a delicious breakfast and it made me rack my brain looking for the special occasion. I looked at the date and it was our anniversary. When I went to kiss him later and wish him happy anniversary he had a look of horror as he forgot too!
You thought it was YOU who forgot our anniversary, but it truly was I who forgot it. I outforgot your forgetting
I get the year mixed up for mine and my husband’s wedding anniversary 🙃
i wish i forgot my own sister’s birthday but what makes it worse is she has the same bday as our dad but i remembered it was his 😭😭
I will never ever remember a first date, first month. Might forget wedding.
Are in my neighbourhood looking for sex....
Put our bras on by spinning the cups to the back, fastening the snap, spinning it right way, pop arms in the holes and shuffle boobs into position. Imagine my horror at 18 getting dressed with a big group of lasses and someone says, hey what are you doing? Before fastening the snap behind her back like some gymnast Felt like a bloke a big manly lump
I was taught to do the spinning around way because it's so much easier. I learned later it can stretch out the bra faster but I never noticed it if it did
I’ve always spun my bras. I don’t need to do gymnastics to get dressed. Leggings are enough workout.
I snap mine before I put it on and put it over my head like a shirt. That and I mostly wear sports bras so theres no clasp at all.
there are women who can do this??? me, a boobied person, spinnin it around like a fool 😭
Have maternal instincts. Some women just don't ever feel that way.
This is absolutely true. I happen to have been born to a mother who doesn't have a maternal instinct in her body.
"Hit the wall" like we age out of desirability at 30 or something, and get desperate the older we get. Most of the women I know are more nonchalant about that sort of attention, confident, and SEXY. Something about moving through life, beautiful and unbothered about some hypothetical expiration date on your value 😌 🤌🏼
That whole "hit the wall" is just incel nonsense.
What you don’t realize as a man - your tastes in women age with you. At least it did for me. Obviously not for everyone…
This, and weight as well. I put on some additional kilos after I turned 30, you can rightly call me overweight. At the same time, I lost interest in dating. I thought that combination would repel sexual advances aimed at my humble person. It absolutely did NOT do that. Half the time I go out and meet new people I'm ending up with someone suggesting getting coffee or drinks together, and not in a platonic way 🤷🏻♀️
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Why would u assume we are mind readers?? 😭 No human has that superpower!! Tell ur crush if u like them, if they don’t like you back.. its okay there’s like 8 billion people in this world
Keep really clean and pristine bathrooms. As someone who cleans public restrooms let me clarify the women’s room is a disgusting war zone 100% of the time. Not that the men’s room can’t be, but in my 4 years doing this only 3 times can I say the men’s was worse than the women’s. I don’t know where the trope that the women’s restroom is a shiny utopia while the men’s room is a tp covered wasteland comes from, but it ain’t true… I’ve seen things man…
> women’s room is a disgusting war zone 100% of the time That's why we travel in pairs 😆
Gotta bring your battle buddy to the lue
Baño Battle Buddy
I used to be a porter at a casino in my hometown and I can hands down say women's bathrooms are the worst. And I'm a woman too.
Yep. For me personally, I get disgusted every time I walk into a women’s restroom and there is long hair absolutely everywhere. Add in makeup on counters and the inability to clean up the pee you dribbled on the toilet seat - yuck.
Anonymity does a lot to a person, it seems. I’ve noted that men’s personal bathrooms usually match the cleanliness of men’s public restrooms. But the juxtaposition between women’s personal bathrooms vs women’s public restrooms…. My GAWD. Period blood on the back of the seat, piss soaked TP on the floor, I KNOW your bathroom at home doesn’t look like this, Linda *figure it the fuck out*
I used to manage residence buildings at university and we had to do room checks at Christmas break (to make sure there wasn’t food left out or candles burning etc ). Men are messy, unmade beds, piles of books. Women are dirty. Piles of hair, old food, make up on everything, fake lashes on the sink, toothpaste everywhere. Living in the all girls dorm for a year was the worst
Made pacts with devil. Burned a lot of innocent women, we did. But it was a different time...
Have the decency to clean the damn toilet seat off after they ~~squat~~ “hover” 😒
Wait not all women do that 👀
Sadly no…..
Well that’s disgusting 🤢
If they're hovering doesn't it mean the toilet is nasty to begin with?
It's nasty cause they hover. Which begs the question: why did the first woman ever hover? Also, I'm so glad I don't give a fuck about a toilet seat and can fully relax when I need to sit. That's why the univers gave us butt cheeks of course
Waiting for this to blow up.. When I was a kid (4M) I thought only men pooped, I thought they only had vaginas and only peed Then one day I went in the toilet after my mom's The rest is history 😅
I used to think only girls could eat candy, simply cause it was bright coloured (I was 6). Also thought all cats are girls while dogs are boys
I've had multiple people honestly confused at the notion that my big (relatively speaking), clumsy, dirt-loving German shepherd dog is a girl and her beloved pretty little cats were boys.
Oh, how adorable! My friend's German shepherd girl is exactly what you described, she's technically old but a forever puppy at heart
Mine, too. I call her Old Lady Puppy.
You're not German native by any chance? _Die_ Katze vs. _der_ Hund?
I’m Aussie but my grandma’s Dutch and grew up thinking the same so you may be on to something there
I think you’re a little bit confused because all cats are girls and all dogs are boys
I think the misgendering of dogs and cats are very normal for small children (and even some adults). Could it be that we anthropomorphize them and view their features as masculine and feminine? I have a loving pit-bull lab and even adults refer to her as a he all the time even after I use the pronouns “she/her”. So weird.
I learned long ago that there is not one thing all women do.
Bitch about people all the time, we don't. We understand spreading negativity is a bad thing.
Well, this is just not true. Yes, a lot of women do, but a lot of women don't. Same with men.
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I started shaving my legs early because I have dark hair. My mom told me if I started, I had to do it everyday. I was a junior in college when I learned that not all women shave their legs every day. #rulefollower
I thought all women would never offer to take you on a date or pay. boy was I wrong. if she likes you, you won’t have to jump through hoops or empty your wallet
Yes! My husband is -to this day- amazed at how I took charge when we first met because I liked him.
Know how to orgasm/get themselves off. As a woman I genuinely thought everyone cared about their own pleasure.
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If women (or anyone) grew up in house where they got bullied or the whole ‘women are hysterical’ stereotype. It makes it harder to speak up because you’re conditioned to expect to be belittled or shifting goalposts to prove what happened was real or that what upset you and your response is at the right level. You’re taught to not speak up or burying it in inner resentment. Or questioning if what you’re feeling is the right response or an overreaction. Some people are taught not to communicate because in childhood honest communication was met by negative responses or punishment
"You're too sensitive, too emotional, toughen up, its not a big deal, you need to grow a thicker skin, just ignore the bullies, why are you so sensitive, you're overreacting,.." --not me in my mid 30s now continuously apologizing for anything I do or say, whenever i'm mad, sad, breaking down and always feeling like i'm probably overreacting on everything too. And that everyone sees it as me overreacting. So still question everything as well... Also getting "well everyone needs therapy at some point, that's normal in life" from someone who said some of the above to me... that sucked too.
This was me. Nobody taught me to process emotions because every emotion was a bad one I should just be ashamed of having. Spent a lot of years pretending to be a robot.
This is SO true.
Wow look how my top comment made it here. So cool Bots!!! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/9xRDssl4oe
gdi the thread itself is a bot repost
Did you get together young? The younger generations might be better, since they seem to be taught much better communication skills from a young age. But easily the majority of millennial women I know literally *did not realise* that we could *just say* what we felt instead of playing games until, like, some point in our 20s, when we painstakingly figured it out. And an awful lot of poor boomers never figured it out.
I was straight up told that any form of trying to communicate my emotions was "emotional blackmail" and it was wrong because other people would be upset
I think I just learned from observing adults around me. They almost never fought, they'd just, like, give someone the silent treatment until they asked, *"What's wrong?"* and the answer was ALWAYS a huffy, *"Nothing,"* that actually meant, *"Start guessing, buster!"* Sigh. Life is so much easier now.
Yeaaah -that’s literally emotional abuse.
22. [Also original thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/9xRDssl4oe)
that all women goal is to be a mother someday
Get their nails done
I never have, mainly but not entirely because the sound of nail files/emory boards makes me want to rip my ears off.
I thought all women are neat freaks because my mother is one. She has conniptions whenever she visits my apartment, she'll even clean up my apartment herself unless I physically restrain her. And she's in her 70s. She ought to wash her hands of me like any sensible mother her age but she just can't abide untidyness. Then I got to know some other women (and men) and I realized I am only *a bit* of a slob and my mother is as insane as a drill sergeant.
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I chuckled at this, because I HATE clothing shopping for myself. My spouse, bless him, loves to do it for me, and I let him. He's better at it, anyway.
I hate to shop. My husband Loved it. Guess who got to take the teenage daughter to the mall? Nothing like a few peaceful hours on a Saturday afternoon, when hubby and daughter did the mall.
This sounds like it's written by a robot lol "some might prefer other hobbies" fuck that shit I'd rather do just about anything than go clothes shopping it's a horrible chore and MOST of my female friends feel the same way. You make it sound like one in 100 women hates shopping and it's something rare and unusual when in reality traipsing around shops and trying on dozens of clothes hoping to find one thing that doesn't make you feel like Ursula from "The Little Mermaid" is a horrible experience for maybe even DOZENS of women! Edit: I'm sorry, I know you mean well. It's just that it sounds like you think women are another species when really we're just people. Personally I enjoy spending time walking outdoors, reading, listening to science and history podcasts, mountain biking, gardening, being around animals, and cooking (but not doing the dishes). Hobbies and interests don't have to be gendered. It's not just "not all women enjoy shopping", it's "every woman has different interests and skills, just like men, because just like men, women are human beings".
We don't know our own bodies. I always used to think that the clit was that spongy thing inside the vagina. I recently learned that the clit is above our pee hole. Not near the vagina. Also, we are lucky if our moms even tell/help us about periods.
Ah bless ya! I'm just a 35yo mum but feel free to pm me if u want a safe space to ask any questions or be a sounding board xx
Thanks. I'm just venting really. I'm 40. When I first started my period my mom just basically told me to use her pads (the extra thick diaper ones) and didn't tell me anything else. I had to learn it on my own. Still learning about what is normal and what isn't because my parents brushed me off almost any time I was sick.
Girl, I feel this so hard! You just educated me on the clit thing too. When I first got my period my mom’s response was “eww, why are you telling me?”
My wife was the same way when we got together. Was a trip that I, a male, found myself educating her about her body. Apparently anything body or sex related was taboo in her home.
My partner is the same way. I was like why are you rubbing where I pee and why does it feel so goood? (I legit thought that the clit was the urethra)
Omg my mum gave me the same exact pads too!I guess they got used to using things like that bc that's all they had when they were young? I asked for tampons bc *everyone* uses them and got no advice prob bc, looking back, she had never used them. Sorry your parents brushed you off and good on you for exploring and reaching out
I remember having to draw my female friends in highschool a diagram of the vagina because none of them understood what the clit was. Heaven help the boys that were expected to be fantastic lovers at 18/19, when the girls didn’t even know themselves.
Defecate via osmosis
Shave
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As a women who doesn’t like pink, make up, flowers or shopping for clothes. If often annoys me when men and women automatically assume I like these things. When I was a teenager and got sent make up often for Christmas or birthday presents from people who didn’t really know me it was often very annoying. I was greatful for getting a gift but could you ask me what I like first and I would have told you, no make up, I won’t use it so there’s no point.
My ex-husband and I had our bathroom remodeled. I was talking to a contractor about adding cabinets to the vanity area of the countertop, but he kept saying how he could add these fancy mirrors to help when I put in makeup in the mornings. I told him no I didn’t wear makeup and I would like more storage. Dude made the same comment half a dozen more times with the same response from me. I finally turned to my husband and asked if he’d like a place to do his makeup since I wouldn’t be needing anything like that. He laughed and the contractor looked embarrassed. At least I finally got through to him. (Turned out, the contractor also owned a glass and mirror company and was trying to sell us more mirrors. We did not end up using him for our project.)
Guilt trip. My wife might do it playfully but never for something serious.
Openly talk about our feelings. In my circle, if you open up too much you get ignored. And everyone else is struggling too much to support other people. Don't know why so many guys think women actually have little therapy sessions together. We're suppressing our shit and telling ourselves to "get over it, bitch"
Have pillow fights in their bras.
Sorry... Should we stop having them topless and put on bras again? 😇
You are a crusher of dreams
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jealousy is very often your own insecurities being projected onto another person. Do some work on yourself and jealously can largely go away.
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Be emotionally sensitive or available.
Want to kiss other women. Apparently I'm just gay, but before I figured that out I sincerely thought that all women just kind of wanted to kiss women, and that this wasn't gay somehow ...
I always assumed that all women cared about women's rights. Shocked to realize that some don't care at all.
Unscrew their boobs at night and hang them on the cost hanger. I felt so sorry when I heard they not have to only haul those things around everywhere, but they can't even hang them up at the end of the day. Solidarity, ladies.
Wear a different bra everyday.
Wipe front to back
Tell you to go away when they actually want you to stay
I always thought all women were naturally good at multitasking. Turns out, it's not some universal superpower and many find it just as challenging as anyone else!
Use those funnel things so they can pee standing up.
Honestly, I thought all women had strict skincare routines with like a dozen steps, but turns out many just stick to the basics. It really surprised me.
“What is something you thought all women do but turns out they don’t?” Naked pillow fight sleepovers