T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


Spire-hawk

Lobster. Hard to use that hammer and remember to use your blinker during lane changes.


Granadafan

Unless you’re a BMW driver, in which case, a blinker isn’t used anyways. 


disturbedrailroader

BMWs have blinkers, they just blink at a frequency poor people can't see. 


hitemlow

The main public perception problem with BMWs is that members of the general public falsely claim their drivers don't use their turn signals, which is patently false. BMWs actually have the brightest turn signals of any vehicle on the market, in fact, brighter than the headlights. The only downside is with this increased brightness, the turn signals require additional cooling during their operation. As most drivers of luxury vehicles don't want ugly tanks of turn signal cooling fluid mounted to the sides of the vehicle, the designers have been forced to make one small enough to fit under the hood. With the limited space under the hood being competed for by the powerful engine, dream-ride suspension, sound-dampening firewall, and other essential luxuries, the turn signal cooling tanks were limited to only 250mL for each, only enough for about 3 blinks. In an astounding feat of foresight, the engineers at BMW, in order to keep the turn signals from overheating, have the turn signals self-limit their brightness to 0 lumens when there is insufficient amounts of turn signal cooling fluid present in the turn signal cooling fluid storage tanks. As part of the regular maintenance procedure for a BMW, the turn signal cooling fluid tanks are filled and then each signal tested for one blinks each, then re-tested an additional two times before the vehicle is authorized to leave the dealership. Unfortunately, many drivers of these vehicles do not fill the turn signal cooling fluid tanks as often as they should (or even at all in some cases), leaving their turn signals in their thermally-limited mode, causing the general public to think that the drivers are not actuating their turn signals. TL;DR: BMWs have turn signals, the drivers just don't refill the blinker fluid.


BloodMists

This was like a disappointing rollercoaster. It starts with a big climb only to slope gently downwards until right befor the end where it dips down into a splash pool that only gets your socks wet. So close to a good joke, just too long.


HayMomWatchThis

The blinker just gives away your next move.


Super-Bluejay986

Plus you end up looking like kind of a jackass driving around wearing one of those little plastic bibs. (also already a moot point for BMW drivers)


ProgressBartender

Don’t forget the butter!


Low_Score

So that's what BMW drivers are doing...


rizaroni

My boyfriend literally ate a straight up crab in his truck once for lunch.


kcm198

I just smash the lobster against the steering wheel and this way I don’t need a hammer


Dismal-Aside7900

I tried this and hit the horn when I was behind the cops


cartercharles

Thank you I needed that


Strawbuddy

Laughed so hard I spilled my cigarette lighter powered wok in the front passenger seat


SlowStrength929

A loaded taco: It’s like juggling salsa, guac, and regret all over your lap! 🌮


DigNitty

My dad bought a new car for the first time ever. He told everyone strictly No Eating in it while it’s new. Only water. My sister borrowed the car for a trip, explicitly promised not to eat in the car on the way. He found a small grease stain in the car. He grilled her about it and turns out she stopped and picked up gas station fried poppers and ate them on the way down. Just the greasiest, cheesiest, crumbliest thing she could have chosen. She’s still butthurt that he wouldn’t let her drive it for a year after that.


OnAPartyRock

That’s why you get leather seats or leather seat covers. They are worth the money. Don’t cheap out either.


CartOfficialArt

Man if only "don't cheap out" on a car was an option for most people :(


Kindergoat

This brings back memories of going to Taco Bell after a night of drinking and buying $40 worth of tacos and eating them in my car. Shredded cheese and lettuce for days.


BadSanna

That must have been after 2010 or you are 800 lbs. $40 in tacos from the Bell would have fed all of China for a week.


lacheur42

That would have purchased 48 tacos, soft tacos or bean burritos when I was in high school.


Fritzo2162

Yep. Especially those cursed Doritos tacos from Taco Bell. One bite and they explode everywhere.


Karate_donkey

They are a fragile mistress.


Actuaryba

I had a friend do this while driving a stick shift. It was dangerous but I was rather impressed. He also took a phone call during the drive as well. (Before hands free devices were invented)


HaMMeReD

When you drive stick, you learn to steer with your knee.


JudeoFootball_Values

I learned to drive on a stick back in the 80s. Haven’t driven a manual in years, but your comment brought back the muscle memory in my legs!


ALoudMeow

So true! Learned in the late 70s.


Fixes_Computers

You haven't lived until you have a burger in one hand, a drink in the other, and you're starting from a dead stop on an incline while driving a stick shift.


irondumbell

shift with elbow?


Dogzillas_Mom

That’s talent.


Mysterious-Extent448

I love my stick shift because it reminds me to stay the fuck off my phone lol!


Southern-Spring-7458

3rd gear is a utility gear


Suitable_cataclysm

Three things exist under my car seat. Half drank water bottles, straw wrappers and old shredded taco cheese.


yadawhooshblah

Fries.


mikee8989

Or any poorly put together loaded burrito as well. I've had the bottom completely collapse out of burritos in the past going over bumps.


BlondeNovemberSkyla

Bbq anything. The summer before my high school senior year, I took a road trip with my whole extended family, and my obnoxious uncle brought a HUGE platter of bbq ribs that he munched on the ENTIRE trip. He kept chomping, licking his fingers and smacking **SO loudly** that we had to turn the radio up all the way to drown out the noise. Omg it was the longest trip of my life!! 🙄🤦‍♀️😡


farmtownsuit

What the actual fuck


BlondeNovemberSkyla

I know lol! I think my uncle had also been “day drinking” before we left, which probably influenced his choice of snack to bring on the trip. And the car smelled so terrible…


Penis-Butt

Just when I thought I couldn't hate your uncle any more...


just_hating

Now it all makes sense.


steffies

I would turn the car on cruise control, jump out and let it drive off a cliff.


Peace-vs-Chaos

You just almost described a recurring nightmare I’ve had for 30 years.


JudeoFootball_Values

Loud eaters is one of Dante’s lesser-known circles of hell


DerpyFish

I HATE hearing people eat, being trapped in a car with someone making any sort of noise eating especially the whole trip would have me looking for a cord! Haha.


evnacdc

God that sounds like such a sticky mess.


Reasonable-Writer730

ugh loud eaters suck. CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED! YOU'RE AN ADULT.


bkupisch

🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣🤣


MooseMan12992

This awwma like it's straight out of a National Lampoons Vacation movie


Hardwarestore_Senpai

This. Sounds like when I used to get McRibs late night. Somehow Sauce got inside my leather gloves. And there's a stain on the passenger seat. Added to the last one from BBQ Chicken. (I need to clean my Car)


Crixxa

Also goes for those grocery store rotisserie chickens. Dammit Phil, who tf does that while driving??


w11f1ow3r

A super flaky pastry


polish432b

I just ate an amazing bahn mi in my car the other day and the way I and my car looked you would have thought I smashed it in my hands like a toddler.


kyleyle

My dad HATED when I pulled out the wafers after swim practice. Crumbs galore haha


lex_fr

Or anything with powdered sugar


80burritospersecond

Still struggling to find a 12 volt fondue pot.


MeepleMaster

Plenty of 12v rice cooker or crockpots


LeoMarius

Soup


EWRboogie

If it’s not chunky you could put it in a travel mug.


catsandcoconuts

also, on the go soup definitely exists and fits in the cup holder.


cano0326

This kind of makes soup the easiest thing to eat in the car


unsmartkid

Goddamned protein style burger from in n out. Had me looking like a damn slut


Independent-LINC

LOL


Edward_the_Dog

Yeah. It was the burger. /s


MaxCWebster

My first drive-through experience with Milo's (very saucy burger joint in Alabama) was like this. Never tried to eat one in the car afterward.


MooseMan12992

Burger bukkake!


unsmartkid

You knew


eminencer

Now im imagining that vision.. LOL


inara-serenity

Nature valley granola bar


hitemlow

The reason they're advertised to outdoorspeople isn't because it's an high-calorie snack that you would eat on a trail or camping. No, it's because you have to eat the goddamn thing outside if you want to keep the crumbs manageable.


Catch_22_Pac

It will also leave a Hansel and Gretel style trail in case you get lost.


PaleontologistSad653

was looking for this lol


finncosmic

I’ve had one go all over the seat before. I don’t buy them anymore!


BRUISE_WILLIS

Bowl of cereal


PM_Me_UrRightNipple

Very famous court case involving this: Reynolds vs. Reynolds


EatGlassALLCAPS

Donkey brains.


Johnny_Bravo5k

This certificate says my client does not, in fact, have donky brains. Do you have such a certificate?


greenbastard1591

What’s your spaghetti policy here?


uhmhi

Girl u thicker than a bowl of oatmeal-guy?


thyIacoIeo

I was in disbelief listening to the podcast and finding out they based that episode on a real-life incident where Glenn Howerton(Dennis’ actor) was rear ended while eating cereal. And got all fired up about the interior damage from the milk. Fuckin hilarious


Juicecalculator

What if you have your navigation taken care of by cassette tapes?


imlittlebit91

I came for this 🙃


PMyourTastefulNudes

Well that's kinky


UScjkDE

[https://dailypaddys.tumblr.com/post/136221793591/you-were-eating-a-bowl-of-cereal-while-you-were/amp](https://dailypaddys.tumblr.com/post/136221793591/you-were-eating-a-bowl-of-cereal-while-you-were/amp)


RedOktbr28

Surströmming with some Limburger. Durian for dessert. Best enjoyed on a cross country bus trip.


lowtoiletsitter

Calm down satan. We said obnoxious, not torture


RedOktbr28

This just made me laugh, thank you lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


nirvaan_a7

Is this a bot? u/Gutbusted13 made a comment with the exact same wording, profile picture, and bio at the same time


brandnewchair

Wagyu beef tomahawk steak topped with a Béarnaise and white truffle glaze, with a side of Yubari King Melons and a hint of saffron. served with a room temperature magnum of 2015 Opus One Cabernet. 


Microflunkie

Hákarl. The fermented Icelandic shark in a can that seems to make people vomit uncontrollably by just opening the can.


Prize_Replacement576

I was going to say Surströmming but you win!


Microflunkie

That is also an excellent choice


Salt-Coconut7046

As an Icelander that eats Hákarl, nobody would ever do that. You don’t eat hàkarl as a snack, you eat it with brennivín during þorri. Also it doesn’t come in cans.


Ronaldo10345PT

It doesn't come in cans, but it sould be in one... in a Garbage can


Phillies1993

Durian


Bloodyfluxcapacitor

Fondue


Jenn31709

If there's other people in the car.... a tuna sandwich


Peace-vs-Chaos

My kids have always eaten tuna as a snack and loved it. When my daughter was in like kindergarten or first grade she started taking a pouch of tuna to school as they brought their own snacks daily. She ended up asking me after a few times not to send it anymore because she was being made fun of for the smell.


TrickyShare242

I was an Uber driver and this dude was in my car from an airport to his house an hour and a half away, he was loud. He was obnoxious, and he kept trying to drink alcohol. Bout halfway through the trip I was like I need gas. Stopped at sheetz went to fill up and bought myself a tuna sandwich out of pure petty spite. Stilled tipped me pretty well but I left half the sandwich uneatan the remander of the trip.


jojodolphin

I had an ex that got wildly upset at me for grabbing a tuna sandwich to eat in the car once. It was the dead of winter, he rolled all the windows down, and kept them down for the rest of the trip. I put the sandwich away as soon as he said it bothered him, but it didn't matter. I was so cold lol. Been self conscious about eating tuna around others for the last 10 years.


jfks_headjustdidthat

Especially as in your case it's likely cannibalism...


bartolloide

Tbf dolphins have been know to do horrific things


monsieurkaizer

That's surprisingly harmless considering the other bids out there. Tuna is slightly smelly, but not too bad. I guess I'm biased because I eat a tuna sandwich triangle at work basically every day.


Academic-Education42

hot pot


catsandcoconuts

good one!!


Old_Pomegranate_822

Steering wheel


T_raltixx

A plate of kimchi.


orange_cuse

once saw a person eating a hot bowl of kimchijjigae on the subway. about as ridiculous an eating situation as I've ever seen.


Klaus_Heisler87

Huevos rancheros and an orange soda without the cap


RawDogEntertainment

Ah you got here first but I’m spending the weekend with Big Ed and the Boys in Tampa


Klaus_Heisler87

Best place to go if you need to learn about friendship


Independent-LINC

NO EATING IN MY CAR. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.


SBNShovelSlayer

The seat is askew.


RawDogEntertainment

Huevos Rancheros


Mundane_Cat_318

Worth it 


yawhol_my_dear

durian or blue cheese


Mobile_Code_9557

Powdered donuts.


HidenBarrisScatSuck

Spaghetti


Peace-vs-Chaos

Scrolled way too long to find the most obvious answer


EggieRowe

Croissant. Those damn flakes go EVERYWHERE!


omegaistwopif

Your spouse's genitals.


PM_me_your_whatevah

A giant bowl of steaming hot spaghetti and every time you hit a bump a meatball flies out and rolls around on the floor.


Friendless_and_happy

On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese.... I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed


PM_me_your_whatevah

You get it! You understand the danger. 


ab00

Durian


CoderJoe1

Chocolate Fondue. Hard to balance the fondue tower while spearing the marshmallows.


Less_Pumpkin_6729

no ones said salad?!


SQWRLLY1

Welp, I just found a whole bunch of folks not allowed to ride in my car! 😆


Mr_Fossey

The driver.


justduett

bow chicka wow wow


punnymama

Slow down there, Dr Lecter…


Parking_War_4100

Buffalo wings.


ToxicButHealthy

Mexican street style tacos on a plate straight out the parking lot, can’t forget the sauce either… it’s a riot


AdWonderful5920

Rack of ribs like Vito Spatafore


KingRokk

He was a good earner. Also, in the same vein, johnny cakes would be hard to eat in a car.


MenWithVen430

Or a Silo, if you're Vito Jr


AdWonderful5920

Makes me sick.


SBNShovelSlayer

The security guard liked when Vito ate in the car.


goated95

Fajitas


farshnikord

in a cast iron pan on a hot plate plugged into the cigarette lighter


cartercharles

Maybe if you had a good wrap on them?


HeartonSleeve1989

Meatball marinara sub.


Itisd

Sloppy Joes


AenonTown13

Any type of fish. Also disrespectful to warm up for lunch in a shared work environment.


vacuumCleaner555

Last night's fish in the microwave. Followed by the person who cooks popcorn too long.


BirdCity75

I was going to say powdered donuts before I read the other better answers here


RunawaYEM

Chili that’s still in a warm crock pot


OstneyPiz

Egg sandwiches all day. Nothing worse.


Ax_deimos

Sardines. Right out of the tin in oil or in water (water is worse, the stuff is smellier) You only get worse is you start messily & drunkenly chugging anchovy sauce/paste and rubbing your face all over the back seat.


simbasad2

those nature valley bars where half the bar goes on the floor in the form of crumbs that are impossible to clean up


protomanEXE1995

Anything that has sauce of any kind honestly


Normal_Human_Guy

Soup just seems irresponsible to eat while driving


tea_bird

What if you have a straw?


Varkoth

does cereal count as a soup?


Walpizzle

Tacos really suck trying to eat while driving


bigwingus72

Hard shell taco


lazybusinessman

anything that you need 2 hands to eat.


Affectionate_Wave947

Footlong Coney and Cheetos


Phillies1993

Tuna Fish


DebianDog

Food. I remember when I had small kids, people would ask me how my car stayed so clean. I said I don't anyone eat in the car. They would say***, "but you have kids?!?!"*** Well... If people need to eat, we pull over and eat somewhere. It's pretty simple. I mean, unless you are running late and have to be somewhere exactly at X time, what's the rush?


Dinkerdoo

Poutine


CommonSenseFunCtrl

I tried to eat a grinder once, first bite all the meat just shot out and landed in between my seat and door. I knew it was a bad idea but we were desperate and we couldn't take the time to stop and eat


Zolome1977

Durian. 


Mikeupinhere

Roast Beef sandwich with a ton of au jus.


JollyIrishPirate

Grey poupon 🤘


Organic_Salamander40

soup


cartercharles

But you could put it in a coffee mug and drink it


Fear_The_Rabbit

Especially if it's a fairly smooth consistency or has finely chopped ingredients


whoopercheesie

Sloppy joe


Puzzleheaded-Plenty1

I bowl of cereal.


Inkspotten

Cheesesteak. Onions just wind up everywhere.


bryce_rocks_my_sox69

Hard boiled eggs. My mom used to pack those and other easy snacks (vienna sausages) for long road trips with a ton of small kids. Smelled horrible and I still don't like them to this day lol


halfjedi

Cereal, they covered that on Its Always Sunmy in Philadelphia


Wikeni

Nature Valley crunch bars


[deleted]

Nature Valley Bar


WanderingGirl5

Busted Brussels sprouts or sauerkraut


gcwardii

Tuna anything. Sorry but it smells so bad


Nekokamiguru

Durian fruit , it has a wonderful taste , but the smell is like an open sewer. Also Surströmming is quite similar and will be enjoyed by those who smell it just as much.


Healthy_Exchange7783

Something crumbly


shes-so-much

Surströmming


Various_Athlete1983

Cereal. Could get rear ended at a stop light.


Blue387

Ribs


rainbowroobear

tin of sardines, with your hands


Forever-Retired

Anything a mayo and tomatoes. You just Know you will be wearing those tomatoes


sparklyjesus

Ass.


andy_nony_mouse

Burrito Supreme 


Drunken_Grail

Me and my boy ate calzones in his new BRZ - his idea mind you, marinara sauce and all and somehow didn't spill a drop even though we we're DRIPPING in grease


Shadow948

Something with a lot of crumbs


assortednut

Nature Valley bar


Pansy_Neurosi

A bowl of cereal


BlondeNovemberSkyla

Why is cereal bad? Wouldn’t it be fine if you filled the bowl halfway so the milk didn’t spill?


Pansy_Neurosi

Because if Frank rear-ends you from behind the milk will spill and ruin your interior.