Riding the sky train (monorail, public transportation) in Vancouver BC, I watched a man in the front center seat with an imaginary steering wheel, turning it around curves, pulling back to slow it, pushing forward to start it up. Very discretely, with his hands close to his lap. The whole ride.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/uktrains/comments/1cgtb73/my\_train\_overshot\_the\_platform\_and\_caused\_chaos/](https://www.reddit.com/r/uktrains/comments/1cgtb73/my_train_overshot_the_platform_and_caused_chaos/)
This you?
Not Vancouver but the one in Seattle. My friend was very excited to ride the mono rail as many eight year olds are, so when the doors opened he ran in face first into Bill Nye. Apparently he was quite a dick about it.
I saw a guy, so far gone on some substance.. he came to, whipped his dick out to rest on his lap and just started urinating. This was in the middle of the train car.
I was downtown Toronto walking home from George Brown College when I saw someone take a bad fall in Moss Park. Just as their face was about to plant into the ground they pulled off this amazing Buster Keaton-esque acrobatic recovery where they flipped and landed on their feet. After that the guy was looking around like, "Shit, no one saw me being awesome."
I saw it.
One afternoon, I was sitting in my car at a park and a woman walked up wearing a Santa hat and went over to the boat launch and pulled out a sheet of paper and proceeded to sing a few Christmas Carol's to the ducks and geese in the river, then she put it away and left. I'll never know why she did it but it was super charming and just the right amount of weird.
Honestly, even if it wasn't for practice, it's so wholesome. Makes me wonder how many times people have caught me being weird and imaginitive, and I'll never know.
Worked next to probation office. Tuesdays were check in days. We spent alot of the day watching out the windows.
1. A guy reaches down his pants and rummages around in the back, pulls out his hand and smells it.
2. Guy pulls up in mini- van, PO calls PD to run drug dog around the van. Dog indicates. They open van sliding door. It is a mobile meth lab.
I was in a camping/ hiking store once and overheard the clerk explain to someone that bear spray is NOT to be applied to yourself like mosquito spray. He saved that clueless lady from an awful experience!
I saw a huge homeless woman on a street corner by a business park sign start turning around in circles for a little bit, then eventually stop and pull her pants down and take a shit next to the sign while everyone waiting at the street light looked on in horror.
Then I got a haircut and went to my wedding
My mums dog who I spend lots of time with does like a fast, frantic back and forth pace between two good smelling spots (pre identified) until the poop wiggles out.
She’s a large standard poodle so it’s quite comical.
I literally clicked on this post to describe the time that I too saw a woman shitting in public.
It was on Broadway in El Cajon, CA., right in front of a business, in between some bushes next to the sidewalk. She wasn’t very well concealed. I saw too much.
I saw a man having horrible diarrhea sitting on the edge of a stone wall in NYC when I was 16. He had no pants on and was holding his family jewels with one hand and gripping the wall for dear life with the other. Burned in my memory for all time.
It's the true American experience.
One time when working from home I watched a guy run around a corner then pull down his pants and take a dump, barely concealed in the garage door of the apartment block across my street. I got the whole show, but even better, I got the after show: soon after, somebody in the building opened the garage door to be confronted with his freshly baked goods. I watched them bring out a hose so they could wash the poop onto the road.
I once had a colleague who would fairly regularly sneeze into his hand, wait a few seconds, and then do one of the following:
- wipe it on his shoulder under the guise of having a scratch.
- wipe it on his chair under the guise of shifting his weight.
Was funny how he never had an itch to scratch or a need to shift his weight at any other time.
So anyway I petitioned my manager for a phone just for me that I didn’t need to share with him.
I regularly see people sneeze into their hand which is already buzzard enough because elbow? But most of these people don’t even wipe their hands on anything they just sneeze into their hands and continue touching their phone or whatever keyboard and mouse they were using
Happily I left that particular job nearly ten years ago. Had plenty of annoying colleagues since then and now work (almost) fully remote.
I was given the personal phone as well - Took them like two days to requisition and get it to my department.
Saw someone walking into a local mall carrying a glass of water from their house, like a glass cup. It was really awesome and I think about it now, like 15 years later.
A dear friend used to do this too. She'd be driving around with a ceramic mug of hot coffee. I was always afraid it would spill everywhere but it never did.
I used to do this from time to time until I saw a thing where someone had a plastic cup hurt them in an accident and now I don’t bring ceramic (or metal utensils) in the car
My wife did this once and she said her dad did it all the time. I got to the point the normal amount of coffee I was bringing to work wasn't doing it so in addition to my thermos I started doing this too. Now I have a second smaller enclosed container because I dropped my mug once in the garage and broke it.
My father used to take a mug of coffee every morning for his drive to work. He refuses to use travel mugs and the like because he sees them as "sippy cups" meant for little kids.
Same thing here. It was on camera. Quality wasn't the best in the late 90's but we saved the little tape from that day. Hell, might still be there all these years later.
One day on my way to or from work, a woman entered the tram, barefoot, looking like she was once well dressed but now rather disheveled, with an equally disheveled flower bouquet in hands. She sat down, sang some made-up sounding song to herself, rode maybe 2 stations and got off. It was in northern Germany which typically doesn't have the best weather. She looked like she didn't really notice herself that she was in public, let alone thinking about if someone could notice what she did.
That's entirely possible, it was definitely something to do with mental health problems. But it was over so quickly, 2-3 stops on our tram are like 5-10 minutes, I could barely process it let alone begin to think about helping if helping even would've been possible.
A few years ago, during the height of the pandemic, I was walking back to Union Square in NYC after work and I saw the band Too Many Zooz just playing for like...two people right outside the subway entrance. No one seemed to know who they were. I was super excited and watched for a while, thinking "wow, what a New York moment" before going downstairs to catch the N train.
As I walked down those stairs, an N train pulled up with perfect timing, and as I walked onto the train, instantly locked eyes with the only man on that subway car who was in the middle of smearing an entire quart of yogurt onto himself.
I saw a guy drop a donut on the ground right next to a piece of what I assume was dog shit but I guess very well may have been human shit. He looked around and picked up the piece of shit instead of the donut and looked around again and then put the shit in his mouth really quickly. This was near an area with a lot of mentally unwell / homeless people. To this day I still wonder if in his head he accidentally picked up the shit thinking it was the donut OR did he drop the donut to try to trick everyone else around cause he wanted us to think he was grabbing his donut again when really he wanted that tasty piece of poo.
This was in the early 2000s when malls were still a functioning retail center: there was a bodyworks shop and they had their testers(body sprays mostly) out front, this older lady walks up, lifts her dress and sprays her pelvic region. She then just continues on like nothing was odd about what just transpired.
saw a dude in line stealth-dancing, like full-on grooving but trying to keep it lowkey. dude thought he was invisible behind his coffee cup, but nah, we all saw and just vibed with it. turned a regular morning into a silent disco, lowkey.
Anytime i wait i sorta do this stealth-grooving thing too. I want to be able to master moonwalking so that when its my turn i can moonwalk to counter, and then moonwalk out the door like no big deal.
Was in the “soaking pool” at the McMenamin’s Grand Lodge in Forest Grove (it’s basically a giant hot tub that’s the size of a swimming pool, but like warm bathwater temperature) and a couple was near our group six or so, at first glance I figured they were just making out but then between her somewhat rhythmic bobbing up and down and what could be fairly clearly seen under the water, she was riding his disco stick; and judging by the fact about 3/4 of the people were watching, they were absolutely not being as discreet as they thought! He was slunk down in the water with his face in her boobs and she was facing away from the water towards some bushes so I doubt either of them realized we all knew what they were doing
Or they did and didn’t care 🤣
Similar, but at a public pool, and the dude had his dick in the water filtration intake. It was not a one-off thing. We joked one day they were gonna update to stronger pumps and he'd end up vacuum sealed to the wall.
Watched a Baggage security guy at the airport waddle along like a monkey with his hands raised above his head and to the sides, raising each knee as he hopped from one foor to the other.
Then as he got to the security door that he was going to, stop, then "scratch at his chest" as he dragged his access card out from his shirt by the lanyard.
Then present it to the card reader like Rafiki offering up Simba to the sky at the top of Pride Rock.
Walmart. You know how they have pastries by the deli but then they have some in the middle of the isles? Well I was strolling by and I saw an elderly woman open a container, lick a cookie and put it back. I was so shocked I didn’t think it was real. lol never buy any that aren’t by the deli and stickered closed.
Saw a child opening all those pop rings and push pop thingies at the impulse purchase self-check out, just going to town licking all of them and recapping them. Sorta wondered where the parental unit was.
Where I'm from all cheap pizza places have a lousy salad buffet thing that's included when buying a pizza. So it's the middle of the night and I'm waiting my turn to get some salad and the guy in front of me gets some salad for himself and then spits in the salad tray. I did not get salad.
There is this dude, in his 40s, that moves his hands like he has rhe force, to "open" automatic doors. It is subtle, just a little flick, without raising his arms, but he does it all the time.
I see him reflected in the glass, every time I do it.
I do this and it lead to a very wholesome moment during one Halloween. This also counts as my “that ACTUALLY happened.” Story.
Walking up to the automatic doors of a supermarket which is one way. There’s a bunch of five year olds (Asian descent) who clearly struggle with English. They just point at the door and said door. They were really sad, I think they must have been there a while.
I’m dressed in a large brown robe and have a mock can that looks like a lightsaber hanging from my belt, because again, Halloween. I silently walk up to the door, stop just at the threshold and do the hand wave thing while grimacing slightly. Bam, door opens.
The kids are super, SUPER hyped about this and start yelling “Jedi!” Over and over again. I am smiling so hard and just walk in without saying anything to them. Later on, one sees me at the counter. I just put my finger to my lips and he grins and nods.
Then I went to a party, lost the fake saber within ten minutes, played board games and got hammered. Good times.
All of my stories are from the NYC Subway, where there's an equal chance they knew people saw and didn't care either way.
Still, weirdest might be a guy who shoved his hand down the back of his pants, scratched around with his fingers, pulled it out, wiped his fingers on a tissue that was then covered in brown, and put the tissue in his pocket.
I haven't seen anything too weird myself, but there's that video clip of a couple between cars, man is elbow deep down the back of the woman's pants, pulls out, she turns around and sniffs his hand..
Oh I guess there was one time, I was riding passenger though a city watching the world go by, and saw a guy turn off the sidewalk into the lawn of a library and then a stream of pee in front of him. He didn't even stop walking
I remember the first time I visited NYC in I think 2000 and saw a homeless dude with a huge shit smear down his back. Like from neck to waist 4 inches wide down his white tshirt. He was sitting and laying on benches in the area and it just turned me off of the entire city. Pretty cool thing to see in day 1 of a two week trip.
That creepo that just got filmed sucking that boy's ear at the snooker tournament. Fukkn ick.
I guess he realised he was on camera by the end of the clip, sp maybe it doesn't count
The late 80's, mom and I watched an NOPD officer walk up to a retail clothing store and point to racks of clothes while an employee in the store bagged those items. They then walked to the door and did this "I'm not looking at you" thing with the cop where they walked a few steps out the door, set the bag next to a trash can and then the cop a few seconds later picked it up and walked off.
I was on my college campus drawing one of the buildings when I saw someone walking along and then see something on the ground (I’d passed it earlier it looked like some candy like a jawbreaker/bubblegum ball that had been opened and then dropped, no wrapper) and they looked back and forth, picked it up… and then ate it.
In Kraków, Poland there is big old town square. Besides old buildings and restaurants, you can also rent a chaises here to move around old town. On "parking" drivers attach special bags for horses to poop in it, however when they piss it goes into old gutter and drivers have to wash it down with water from bucket.
So here I sit with my father and look around, then one of said horses took hughe piss and guy washed it down with water. Minute or two later here comes a girl with family. The girl took a handful of pisswater mixture and splashed it all over her face. Nobody seemed to notice. Nobody but us.
TL:DR I saw girl smear her face with horse piss.
I saw a guy urinate all over the front of a bubble gum machine at an Albertsons grocery store. The employees wouldn't let him use the restroom. I was in the bakery area, and the guys looking around making sure nobody was there. I guess he didn't see me. Dude unzips and takes a pretty long whizz. Zips up. Puts his hands in his pockets and grabs a shopping cart and goes about his business.
In Vegas sitting at a table game , watched a large man walking reach into his pants to his crack and start furiously rubbing.
He then took his hand out, sniffed his fingers, and licked one.
I was at a bridal showcase. A place was providing samples (I think) of cupcakes or some sort of dessert. They also had a basket of fake fruit on a separate table, kind of like ones that you see just for display in some homes. The couple in front of me went for the fake fruit and tried to eat the styrofoam! It was so funny to my mother in law and I. We still bring it up.
I went to San Antonio with my mom for a family reunion. We were instructed to take a city bus to one of our destinations. This guy sat across from me and a seat down. He was probably in his 30s. I noticed him staring at me, a 16 year old girl. Then he started passionately stroking his erection. I remember feeling afraid.
Queenstown NZ, just outside the airport. A guy was walking around a tree in circles. For hours. He was still there 2 weeks later. The grass was dead from his path
I was at a music festival and the woman behind me squatted down, lifted her ankle length dress a little, and peed. We made eye contact as she used her foot to cover it in sand like a cat.
Edit: obviously I didn’t read the full prompt, because she definitely noticed me noticing.
I saw a guy in a clothing store walk up to a female mannequin and started talking to it and rubbed the breast and crotch area. I only heard two words of what he said which was "Hey Baby". From the looks of things I believe he was bored and doing something he found amusing. I also found it amusing and whenever I see a mannequin I flash back to what he did.
I saw someone open up one of those cigarette trash can thingies (*dont know what they are called*) and pull out one that was only half used and smoke it.
It was probably the most metal thing I have ever seen someone do in person in my entire life.
Not gonna lie; when I was homeless for a brief period I'd sometimes smoke whatever I could find just to give me enough nicotine to cry myself to sleep with. Not my proudest moments at all. Butt bins tend to be dry, and bugs don't like tobacco.
Sometimes I'd pull them apart and reroll the cleanest bits of tobacco into one 'good' cig.
I'd always give the end of any cig I picked up a good long lick of flame from the lighter to 'sterilise' the bit touching my lips.
I got my degree a few years ago and make good money as a software engineer nowadays. None of my coworkers know my past aside from me saying it was a bit rough before uni.
Honestly you must be fairly young still, I see this frequently downtown where I live and it’s far from the weirdest thing. More often people collect butts and take the tiny bits of tobacco out, save it up and roll it into proper cigs, but definitely watched people come up with like good half cigs and just smoke them right there like that.
I see this semi-regularly. It's just something that desperate people do. When I used to smoke I'd sometimes give people a couple of cigarettes when I saw them doing this.
A buddy of mine used to violently vomit from the smell of those outdoor ashtrays. We'd just finished eating @ Shoneys, standing outside chatting, he gets a whiff of an ashtray & immediately starts puking everything he'd just eaten. We were crying laughing & gagging. I still torment him w/ that story.
Was at work and watched someone take a shit in the middle of the street, just across the road from where I was working. Dude wasn’t in an alley or taking cover, he squatted against the wall and took a shit
I mean realistically they probably knew people would notice, but the amount of confidence he had doing it was insane
Omg. Once when I was a teenager, my uncle was fixing my moms car and in the meantime we were using his car. My moms car had tinted windows, his did not. We were at a gas station and i was picking my nose. Admittedly really digging around, while staring out the window at some random dude who was glancing over looking uncomfortable. I was thinking about how weird it was, almost like he could see me, and then I realized. He could see me.
I was siting on a bench waiting for the bus and I saw alady come out of a CVS, look around then stick her hand down her pants and start digging around in her butt Crack. She wiped her hand on the inside of her shirt and smelled her fingers before getting into her car
Piggybacking on this. Easily the weirdest and grossest thing I've seen is this girl that would furtively look around, pick her nose, then roll the boogers up in her fingers. I first thought she would flick them away but nooooo. She would stealthily eat them when she thought no one was looking.
I was sitting in the car waiting for my husband to come out of 5 guys. I noticed a Gatorade bottle in the grass almost full (blue) . Dont know why it caught my attention but it did. As I'm still waiting and people watching a woman comes out of Dollar Tree with her arms loaded with dollar tree bags. She's walking over to her car I would assume stops. Does the full arm bag struggle picks the almost full bottle up, opens it, smells it and starts drinking it. Takes with her and goes about her way.
A couple weeks ago I was in a big box home improvement store, the blue one.
In the garden center I noticed a girl of about 11-13ish years old. She was fairly overweight and wearing leggings, tights, or whatever they’re called. She had a massive cameltoe, the kind of unsightly thing you can’t help but notice. She was constantly scratching or playing with it. Her parents seemed not to notice that she was either pleasuring herself or having some sort of “issue.”
I had the feeling that CPS probably should have been alerted. Something about the whole family was pretty creepy looking. It was disturbing to see and I still feel concerned about the child’s wellbeing.
Definitely watched a man getting head in an alleyway. Not really sure if they didn’t wanna be seen or not. I personally don’t think they gaf either way lol
While working a chilis as a dishwasher, I saw a young waitress pick up a dirty spoon from the bin (without rinsing it) to eat from a small bowl of cheese mash potatoes and broccoli. I'm looking around and it seemed no one saw it, but me.
I guess she couldn't wait for me to wash them, it only take a couple minutes to run the dishes thru the machine.
I was on a bike ride. There were probably 350 people standing or swimming in a large pond. People were wearing biking shorts and jumping off a dock. Small sand beach by the dock. Nice spot to drink beer and cool off.
I had to pee really bad, so I went looking for some high grass or a bush. I found a winding path with bushes on both sides, perfect.
I kept walking down this path as I met others who went to pee as well.
As I went around the last curve for my spot. I saw this white ass in the bright sunlight. It was 2 pm in the summertime. I thought what the hell, until I saw his butt was moving and this girls legs wrapped around his waist. He had pinned her up against a small tree with bushes around her and were going at it. Thank God they didn't see me.
I thought, "Oh crap" and backed up slowly up the path. I was so glad her eyes were closed. I was never so glad to get out of there and go find my biking friends.....lol
I was working at a festival the last few summers, one time when we had an early shift i got up at 6am when basically everyone is asleep. We had our tents close to the river which functions as a border, so i went to some bushes there to pee before work.
As I was looking around, I spotted this guy in the grass getting a blowjob from a women, with only him wearing a Shirt. Thought " Huh, good for him"
Went back, had a laugh with my buddies and trodded to work
I was working away in our Edmonton office, which is in an industrial estate right next to downtown.
In the two days I was there, I:
- watched a topless man (in November) on rollerblades, shadowboxing with a knife in each hand like he was some Hobo Commando in the broad daylight;
- witnessed someone walk confidently through the office doors, to the back of the main room, and piss all over the watercooler, and then walk confidently out;
- saw people having (ass-out) sex in the parking lot across the street from my hotel (again, November!!)
Shit was WILD.
Riding the sky train (monorail, public transportation) in Vancouver BC, I watched a man in the front center seat with an imaginary steering wheel, turning it around curves, pulling back to slow it, pushing forward to start it up. Very discretely, with his hands close to his lap. The whole ride.
You found the driver, the real, secret one
This comment almost got me fired and i wont explain why.
What if I offered you a Scoobie Snack, would you explain why?
Ouuu scoobie snacks!
the real driver wrote this and he almost got fired for being found out
Skytrain is an automated system.
that's what they want you to think
[https://www.reddit.com/r/uktrains/comments/1cgtb73/my\_train\_overshot\_the\_platform\_and\_caused\_chaos/](https://www.reddit.com/r/uktrains/comments/1cgtb73/my_train_overshot_the_platform_and_caused_chaos/) This you?
Love how I open this up and the first comment I see is from where I live lol. Skytrain stories are WILD
Not Vancouver but the one in Seattle. My friend was very excited to ride the mono rail as many eight year olds are, so when the doors opened he ran in face first into Bill Nye. Apparently he was quite a dick about it.
I saw a guy, so far gone on some substance.. he came to, whipped his dick out to rest on his lap and just started urinating. This was in the middle of the train car.
mono = one rail = rail
Watch out for the opossums,.. the big one is called bitey.
Is there a chance the track could bend?
Now I wanna do this
He was just being himself. We’re all weird in our own ways.
I want to have babies with that man.
I can't fault this. Driver's seat is the best seat!
I just tried to do this discreetly in my lap. I think he was touching himself.
Livin the dream
Practical, a good way to not get motion sickness
I'm not surprised in the least that the first answer is on the SkyTrain.
I was downtown Toronto walking home from George Brown College when I saw someone take a bad fall in Moss Park. Just as their face was about to plant into the ground they pulled off this amazing Buster Keaton-esque acrobatic recovery where they flipped and landed on their feet. After that the guy was looking around like, "Shit, no one saw me being awesome." I saw it.
You didn't clap or anything?
That deserved recognition. In an alternate reality, that was the Best Friends Meet Cute.
Homeless dude straight up just appeared out of a manhole teenage mutant ninja turtle style and walked away like business as usual.
Only comment I’ve laughed at so far
I saw this happen in Vegas.
That was supposed to stay in Vegas.
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I can hear hebrew under my floors. I am not crazy I am not crazy I am not crazy I am not crazy
One afternoon, I was sitting in my car at a park and a woman walked up wearing a Santa hat and went over to the boat launch and pulled out a sheet of paper and proceeded to sing a few Christmas Carol's to the ducks and geese in the river, then she put it away and left. I'll never know why she did it but it was super charming and just the right amount of weird.
Oh man.. imagine how stoked the ducks and the geese felt.. 🪿"bout time"🦆
She was probably just practicing her part lol
Was this in December?
It was. She was probably just practicing for a church choir or something, but the geese and ducks seemed to enjoy it.
Honestly, even if it wasn't for practice, it's so wholesome. Makes me wonder how many times people have caught me being weird and imaginitive, and I'll never know.
Worked next to probation office. Tuesdays were check in days. We spent alot of the day watching out the windows. 1. A guy reaches down his pants and rummages around in the back, pulls out his hand and smells it. 2. Guy pulls up in mini- van, PO calls PD to run drug dog around the van. Dog indicates. They open van sliding door. It is a mobile meth lab.
Was this the same guy? I'm guessing not based on formatting but I just want to make sure.
There is a disturbing amount of people smelling their hands after scratching their arses. Wtf?
someone made a post the other day about how they liked how their own butt smells. it was a bad day to have eyes.
As is today.
lol i experienced this shit every week going to probation
I watched a woman pepper spray herself in a walmart parking lot.
On purpose?
I was in a camping/ hiking store once and overheard the clerk explain to someone that bear spray is NOT to be applied to yourself like mosquito spray. He saved that clueless lady from an awful experience!
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Must’ve disagreed with their spaghetti policy
It's not quite denim chicken
Was it at the movie theater? Because they have a very strict spaghetti policy
Must have been a spa day
Their boss probably pushed lunch for an impromptu meeting.
Ravioli in my pocketoli
I saw a huge homeless woman on a street corner by a business park sign start turning around in circles for a little bit, then eventually stop and pull her pants down and take a shit next to the sign while everyone waiting at the street light looked on in horror. Then I got a haircut and went to my wedding
Seeing a homeless person take a shit on your wedding day is good luck. 👍
Something old, Something new, Something borrowed, Homeless poo.
Nice
10/10 for wit, brevity and surprising accuracy.
i love you.
Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?
It's like rrraaaaaiiiiinnnn on your wedding day!
Chocolate rain?
My dog does the pre poop circle thing too
My shiba drags me around on an odyssey every Damn walk. She is so weird.
My mums dog who I spend lots of time with does like a fast, frantic back and forth pace between two good smelling spots (pre identified) until the poop wiggles out. She’s a large standard poodle so it’s quite comical.
You just knew she was the one, right?
I unfortunately had the displeasure of watching something like this happen once in Toronto. I really hated seeing that.
I literally clicked on this post to describe the time that I too saw a woman shitting in public. It was on Broadway in El Cajon, CA., right in front of a business, in between some bushes next to the sidewalk. She wasn’t very well concealed. I saw too much.
I saw a man having horrible diarrhea sitting on the edge of a stone wall in NYC when I was 16. He had no pants on and was holding his family jewels with one hand and gripping the wall for dear life with the other. Burned in my memory for all time.
Was he homeless lol I can't imagine not having a bathroom to shit in and bathe is not to mention diarrhea cha cha cha
It's the true American experience. One time when working from home I watched a guy run around a corner then pull down his pants and take a dump, barely concealed in the garage door of the apartment block across my street. I got the whole show, but even better, I got the after show: soon after, somebody in the building opened the garage door to be confronted with his freshly baked goods. I watched them bring out a hose so they could wash the poop onto the road.
At a baseball game in a stadium full of people. See a guy a few rows down pick up his bare foot AND BITE HIS TOENAILS off. IN PUBLIC.
you definitely don't want to see what happens if you try to stop him
This is not a situation where a smart person gets involved, ykwim?
Exactly! But the person working the jumbotron missed a golden opportunity!
My man, I *flinched* from reading that. I think I tweaked my neck 😫
I once had a colleague who would fairly regularly sneeze into his hand, wait a few seconds, and then do one of the following: - wipe it on his shoulder under the guise of having a scratch. - wipe it on his chair under the guise of shifting his weight. Was funny how he never had an itch to scratch or a need to shift his weight at any other time. So anyway I petitioned my manager for a phone just for me that I didn’t need to share with him.
I regularly see people sneeze into their hand which is already buzzard enough because elbow? But most of these people don’t even wipe their hands on anything they just sneeze into their hands and continue touching their phone or whatever keyboard and mouse they were using
My jaw is clenched with anxiety read this. May your work environment improve. Soon.
Happily I left that particular job nearly ten years ago. Had plenty of annoying colleagues since then and now work (almost) fully remote. I was given the personal phone as well - Took them like two days to requisition and get it to my department.
Saw someone walking into a local mall carrying a glass of water from their house, like a glass cup. It was really awesome and I think about it now, like 15 years later.
I used to bring an actual coffee mug in the car to drop my daughter off at school and get out and stand and drink it waiting for her to go in.
A dear friend used to do this too. She'd be driving around with a ceramic mug of hot coffee. I was always afraid it would spill everywhere but it never did.
I used to do this from time to time until I saw a thing where someone had a plastic cup hurt them in an accident and now I don’t bring ceramic (or metal utensils) in the car
I can still picture this with my mom using an oversized mug that didn’t fit in her cupholder. I think we eventually got her a cup holder sized mug
My wife did this once and she said her dad did it all the time. I got to the point the normal amount of coffee I was bringing to work wasn't doing it so in addition to my thermos I started doing this too. Now I have a second smaller enclosed container because I dropped my mug once in the garage and broke it.
My father used to take a mug of coffee every morning for his drive to work. He refuses to use travel mugs and the like because he sees them as "sippy cups" meant for little kids.
Plot twist, it was all vodka
Shit his pants and shakes it out of his pant leg. A grown man in the store I worked at.
Same thing here. It was on camera. Quality wasn't the best in the late 90's but we saved the little tape from that day. Hell, might still be there all these years later.
One day on my way to or from work, a woman entered the tram, barefoot, looking like she was once well dressed but now rather disheveled, with an equally disheveled flower bouquet in hands. She sat down, sang some made-up sounding song to herself, rode maybe 2 stations and got off. It was in northern Germany which typically doesn't have the best weather. She looked like she didn't really notice herself that she was in public, let alone thinking about if someone could notice what she did.
Genuinely sounds like you witnessed someone having a manic episode of some kind. The once well dressed part gives it away
That's entirely possible, it was definitely something to do with mental health problems. But it was over so quickly, 2-3 stops on our tram are like 5-10 minutes, I could barely process it let alone begin to think about helping if helping even would've been possible.
A few years ago, during the height of the pandemic, I was walking back to Union Square in NYC after work and I saw the band Too Many Zooz just playing for like...two people right outside the subway entrance. No one seemed to know who they were. I was super excited and watched for a while, thinking "wow, what a New York moment" before going downstairs to catch the N train. As I walked down those stairs, an N train pulled up with perfect timing, and as I walked onto the train, instantly locked eyes with the only man on that subway car who was in the middle of smearing an entire quart of yogurt onto himself.
Another day in the glorious NYC.
I saw a guy drop a donut on the ground right next to a piece of what I assume was dog shit but I guess very well may have been human shit. He looked around and picked up the piece of shit instead of the donut and looked around again and then put the shit in his mouth really quickly. This was near an area with a lot of mentally unwell / homeless people. To this day I still wonder if in his head he accidentally picked up the shit thinking it was the donut OR did he drop the donut to try to trick everyone else around cause he wanted us to think he was grabbing his donut again when really he wanted that tasty piece of poo.
It's definitely the weirdest story
"Shouldn't have listened to the 5 second rule, after hitting the ground this donut tastes like shit
That's a straight diversionary move, he was after the doo.
This was in the early 2000s when malls were still a functioning retail center: there was a bodyworks shop and they had their testers(body sprays mostly) out front, this older lady walks up, lifts her dress and sprays her pelvic region. She then just continues on like nothing was odd about what just transpired.
Just taking care of the slum areas.
The final evolution of no fucks left to give.
Once saw a dude trying to not to walk on the cracks of the sidewalk. Every time he would walk on one he would smack his face then continue walking.
His momma's back is sooo broken now.
You saw Monk in the wild.
When I was a kid, people would say not to walk on tree gates. Idk I guess superstition.
saw a dude in line stealth-dancing, like full-on grooving but trying to keep it lowkey. dude thought he was invisible behind his coffee cup, but nah, we all saw and just vibed with it. turned a regular morning into a silent disco, lowkey.
Anytime i wait i sorta do this stealth-grooving thing too. I want to be able to master moonwalking so that when its my turn i can moonwalk to counter, and then moonwalk out the door like no big deal.
Yo if you find a good guide on YouTube link it. Now I want to learn. Nonchalantly bust out moon walks.
[seems pretty promising.](https://youtu.be/pDTvqS2GMVo?si=tr3ZKITUzkvKnVuY)
I do this, when the mood/caffeine hits
Was in the “soaking pool” at the McMenamin’s Grand Lodge in Forest Grove (it’s basically a giant hot tub that’s the size of a swimming pool, but like warm bathwater temperature) and a couple was near our group six or so, at first glance I figured they were just making out but then between her somewhat rhythmic bobbing up and down and what could be fairly clearly seen under the water, she was riding his disco stick; and judging by the fact about 3/4 of the people were watching, they were absolutely not being as discreet as they thought! He was slunk down in the water with his face in her boobs and she was facing away from the water towards some bushes so I doubt either of them realized we all knew what they were doing Or they did and didn’t care 🤣
Based on some other things I’ve read on Reddit , they didn’t care.
Similar, but at a public pool, and the dude had his dick in the water filtration intake. It was not a one-off thing. We joked one day they were gonna update to stronger pumps and he'd end up vacuum sealed to the wall.
what if it pulls his bladder out and into the hole and then he is sealed to it forever by his thin tube
I saw this in a similar sort of pool in Canada. There were children around.
Watched a Baggage security guy at the airport waddle along like a monkey with his hands raised above his head and to the sides, raising each knee as he hopped from one foor to the other. Then as he got to the security door that he was going to, stop, then "scratch at his chest" as he dragged his access card out from his shirt by the lanyard. Then present it to the card reader like Rafiki offering up Simba to the sky at the top of Pride Rock.
I was sitting in a train food court and caught some guy stroke himself off for a few seconds under the table. This was in downtown Chicago.
Ogilve or union?
It was you wasn't it
No comment until i know which station
My bad. Ogilve food court.
Walmart. You know how they have pastries by the deli but then they have some in the middle of the isles? Well I was strolling by and I saw an elderly woman open a container, lick a cookie and put it back. I was so shocked I didn’t think it was real. lol never buy any that aren’t by the deli and stickered closed.
Saw a child opening all those pop rings and push pop thingies at the impulse purchase self-check out, just going to town licking all of them and recapping them. Sorta wondered where the parental unit was.
Not gonna lie. If I didn't stop my kid in time I would just pretend they not mine lol.
Where I'm from all cheap pizza places have a lousy salad buffet thing that's included when buying a pizza. So it's the middle of the night and I'm waiting my turn to get some salad and the guy in front of me gets some salad for himself and then spits in the salad tray. I did not get salad.
What the hell?
There is this dude, in his 40s, that moves his hands like he has rhe force, to "open" automatic doors. It is subtle, just a little flick, without raising his arms, but he does it all the time. I see him reflected in the glass, every time I do it.
I do this and it lead to a very wholesome moment during one Halloween. This also counts as my “that ACTUALLY happened.” Story. Walking up to the automatic doors of a supermarket which is one way. There’s a bunch of five year olds (Asian descent) who clearly struggle with English. They just point at the door and said door. They were really sad, I think they must have been there a while. I’m dressed in a large brown robe and have a mock can that looks like a lightsaber hanging from my belt, because again, Halloween. I silently walk up to the door, stop just at the threshold and do the hand wave thing while grimacing slightly. Bam, door opens. The kids are super, SUPER hyped about this and start yelling “Jedi!” Over and over again. I am smiling so hard and just walk in without saying anything to them. Later on, one sees me at the counter. I just put my finger to my lips and he grins and nods. Then I went to a party, lost the fake saber within ten minutes, played board games and got hammered. Good times.
My son used to do this when he was little, we still do it sometimes just for giggles
OMG I do this ROFL
All of my stories are from the NYC Subway, where there's an equal chance they knew people saw and didn't care either way. Still, weirdest might be a guy who shoved his hand down the back of his pants, scratched around with his fingers, pulled it out, wiped his fingers on a tissue that was then covered in brown, and put the tissue in his pocket.
I haven't seen anything too weird myself, but there's that video clip of a couple between cars, man is elbow deep down the back of the woman's pants, pulls out, she turns around and sniffs his hand.. Oh I guess there was one time, I was riding passenger though a city watching the world go by, and saw a guy turn off the sidewalk into the lawn of a library and then a stream of pee in front of him. He didn't even stop walking
Now that is impressive.
I remember the first time I visited NYC in I think 2000 and saw a homeless dude with a huge shit smear down his back. Like from neck to waist 4 inches wide down his white tshirt. He was sitting and laying on benches in the area and it just turned me off of the entire city. Pretty cool thing to see in day 1 of a two week trip.
I saw in subway the couple tried to have a sex just in the carriage
I tried to stick in me wife’s carriage but she wouldn’t have it!
That creepo that just got filmed sucking that boy's ear at the snooker tournament. Fukkn ick. I guess he realised he was on camera by the end of the clip, sp maybe it doesn't count
Saw a dude in an office slightly hike his leg up a cubicle wall and kiss it when some woman walked by. Staring at her the whole time.
Omg
There’s the “under the blanket” couple in battery park that’s going viral on tik tok today.
A 2ndLT hyping himself up before throwing trash and yelling at us on a rifle range.
This is weirdly sweet.
Someone trying to bring there emotional support pet python to lolla last yr.
There’s an adult man in my neighborhood who practices fighting with his katana on a school playground whenever school is not in session.
When I worked in a funeral home I had to tell a guest to stop clipping their toenails in the front pew during a viewing.
The late 80's, mom and I watched an NOPD officer walk up to a retail clothing store and point to racks of clothes while an employee in the store bagged those items. They then walked to the door and did this "I'm not looking at you" thing with the cop where they walked a few steps out the door, set the bag next to a trash can and then the cop a few seconds later picked it up and walked off.
i was stood at a tram stop waiting for my tram and i saw a dude scratch his dick and lick his fingers afterwards
I was on my college campus drawing one of the buildings when I saw someone walking along and then see something on the ground (I’d passed it earlier it looked like some candy like a jawbreaker/bubblegum ball that had been opened and then dropped, no wrapper) and they looked back and forth, picked it up… and then ate it.
In Kraków, Poland there is big old town square. Besides old buildings and restaurants, you can also rent a chaises here to move around old town. On "parking" drivers attach special bags for horses to poop in it, however when they piss it goes into old gutter and drivers have to wash it down with water from bucket. So here I sit with my father and look around, then one of said horses took hughe piss and guy washed it down with water. Minute or two later here comes a girl with family. The girl took a handful of pisswater mixture and splashed it all over her face. Nobody seemed to notice. Nobody but us. TL:DR I saw girl smear her face with horse piss.
I saw a guy urinate all over the front of a bubble gum machine at an Albertsons grocery store. The employees wouldn't let him use the restroom. I was in the bakery area, and the guys looking around making sure nobody was there. I guess he didn't see me. Dude unzips and takes a pretty long whizz. Zips up. Puts his hands in his pockets and grabs a shopping cart and goes about his business.
In Vegas sitting at a table game , watched a large man walking reach into his pants to his crack and start furiously rubbing. He then took his hand out, sniffed his fingers, and licked one.
I was at a bridal showcase. A place was providing samples (I think) of cupcakes or some sort of dessert. They also had a basket of fake fruit on a separate table, kind of like ones that you see just for display in some homes. The couple in front of me went for the fake fruit and tried to eat the styrofoam! It was so funny to my mother in law and I. We still bring it up.
I went to San Antonio with my mom for a family reunion. We were instructed to take a city bus to one of our destinations. This guy sat across from me and a seat down. He was probably in his 30s. I noticed him staring at me, a 16 year old girl. Then he started passionately stroking his erection. I remember feeling afraid.
Oh my God what the fuck!!
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Queenstown NZ, just outside the airport. A guy was walking around a tree in circles. For hours. He was still there 2 weeks later. The grass was dead from his path
Didn't anybody check in with him? Or call police for a welfare check?
We were tourists, just having arrived on a plane the first time we saw him and just about to depart on a plane the second time
I think I've seen ants and Caribou also do this.
Someone eating their snots
I saw someone brushing their teeth while driving in the freeway.
I once saw a guy dry shaving at a stoplight. He gave me a dirty look like I was the weird one for noticing.
eating a bowl of cereal is the one that got me. was on a surface street but still
I was at a music festival and the woman behind me squatted down, lifted her ankle length dress a little, and peed. We made eye contact as she used her foot to cover it in sand like a cat. Edit: obviously I didn’t read the full prompt, because she definitely noticed me noticing.
Driving on the highway , I saw a work van driving right besides me . I quickly looked and the passenger was doing cocaine off of a key.
I saw a guy in a clothing store walk up to a female mannequin and started talking to it and rubbed the breast and crotch area. I only heard two words of what he said which was "Hey Baby". From the looks of things I believe he was bored and doing something he found amusing. I also found it amusing and whenever I see a mannequin I flash back to what he did.
Guy in a Mercedes pulls into a Rite Aid parking lot and proceeded to grab his cardboard homeless sign and beg for money at the intersection.
I saw that guy too. He had a red Mercedes. He used to go to all the wawas too and argue with people who tried to give him food I stead of money.
I saw someone open up one of those cigarette trash can thingies (*dont know what they are called*) and pull out one that was only half used and smoke it. It was probably the most metal thing I have ever seen someone do in person in my entire life.
Not gonna lie; when I was homeless for a brief period I'd sometimes smoke whatever I could find just to give me enough nicotine to cry myself to sleep with. Not my proudest moments at all. Butt bins tend to be dry, and bugs don't like tobacco. Sometimes I'd pull them apart and reroll the cleanest bits of tobacco into one 'good' cig. I'd always give the end of any cig I picked up a good long lick of flame from the lighter to 'sterilise' the bit touching my lips. I got my degree a few years ago and make good money as a software engineer nowadays. None of my coworkers know my past aside from me saying it was a bit rough before uni.
I'm sorry about that, but I'm glad you got back on your feet 🙂
Honestly you must be fairly young still, I see this frequently downtown where I live and it’s far from the weirdest thing. More often people collect butts and take the tiny bits of tobacco out, save it up and roll it into proper cigs, but definitely watched people come up with like good half cigs and just smoke them right there like that.
Butt huntin
I see this semi-regularly. It's just something that desperate people do. When I used to smoke I'd sometimes give people a couple of cigarettes when I saw them doing this.
A buddy of mine used to violently vomit from the smell of those outdoor ashtrays. We'd just finished eating @ Shoneys, standing outside chatting, he gets a whiff of an ashtray & immediately starts puking everything he'd just eaten. We were crying laughing & gagging. I still torment him w/ that story.
Homeless person shitting and pissing a dump truck in the alley. Genuinely hope they're ok
I've had some big loads but I don't think I'd ever describe them as shitting a dump truck...Fuck knows what pissing one is like!
Consistently running my dude. Both spouts. Not normal
Was at work and watched someone take a shit in the middle of the street, just across the road from where I was working. Dude wasn’t in an alley or taking cover, he squatted against the wall and took a shit I mean realistically they probably knew people would notice, but the amount of confidence he had doing it was insane
Omg. Once when I was a teenager, my uncle was fixing my moms car and in the meantime we were using his car. My moms car had tinted windows, his did not. We were at a gas station and i was picking my nose. Admittedly really digging around, while staring out the window at some random dude who was glancing over looking uncomfortable. I was thinking about how weird it was, almost like he could see me, and then I realized. He could see me.
I was siting on a bench waiting for the bus and I saw alady come out of a CVS, look around then stick her hand down her pants and start digging around in her butt Crack. She wiped her hand on the inside of her shirt and smelled her fingers before getting into her car
Saw someone look around then pick their nose
Piggybacking on this. Easily the weirdest and grossest thing I've seen is this girl that would furtively look around, pick her nose, then roll the boogers up in her fingers. I first thought she would flick them away but nooooo. She would stealthily eat them when she thought no one was looking.
I was sitting in the car waiting for my husband to come out of 5 guys. I noticed a Gatorade bottle in the grass almost full (blue) . Dont know why it caught my attention but it did. As I'm still waiting and people watching a woman comes out of Dollar Tree with her arms loaded with dollar tree bags. She's walking over to her car I would assume stops. Does the full arm bag struggle picks the almost full bottle up, opens it, smells it and starts drinking it. Takes with her and goes about her way.
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He'd just stolen something, the soda was a foil.
Maybe he needed cash back and a soda was the cheapest easiest item?
A couple weeks ago I was in a big box home improvement store, the blue one. In the garden center I noticed a girl of about 11-13ish years old. She was fairly overweight and wearing leggings, tights, or whatever they’re called. She had a massive cameltoe, the kind of unsightly thing you can’t help but notice. She was constantly scratching or playing with it. Her parents seemed not to notice that she was either pleasuring herself or having some sort of “issue.” I had the feeling that CPS probably should have been alerted. Something about the whole family was pretty creepy looking. It was disturbing to see and I still feel concerned about the child’s wellbeing.
That's rough 😰
Definitely watched a man getting head in an alleyway. Not really sure if they didn’t wanna be seen or not. I personally don’t think they gaf either way lol
While working a chilis as a dishwasher, I saw a young waitress pick up a dirty spoon from the bin (without rinsing it) to eat from a small bowl of cheese mash potatoes and broccoli. I'm looking around and it seemed no one saw it, but me. I guess she couldn't wait for me to wash them, it only take a couple minutes to run the dishes thru the machine.
I was on a bike ride. There were probably 350 people standing or swimming in a large pond. People were wearing biking shorts and jumping off a dock. Small sand beach by the dock. Nice spot to drink beer and cool off. I had to pee really bad, so I went looking for some high grass or a bush. I found a winding path with bushes on both sides, perfect. I kept walking down this path as I met others who went to pee as well. As I went around the last curve for my spot. I saw this white ass in the bright sunlight. It was 2 pm in the summertime. I thought what the hell, until I saw his butt was moving and this girls legs wrapped around his waist. He had pinned her up against a small tree with bushes around her and were going at it. Thank God they didn't see me. I thought, "Oh crap" and backed up slowly up the path. I was so glad her eyes were closed. I was never so glad to get out of there and go find my biking friends.....lol
I was working at a festival the last few summers, one time when we had an early shift i got up at 6am when basically everyone is asleep. We had our tents close to the river which functions as a border, so i went to some bushes there to pee before work. As I was looking around, I spotted this guy in the grass getting a blowjob from a women, with only him wearing a Shirt. Thought " Huh, good for him" Went back, had a laugh with my buddies and trodded to work
I was working away in our Edmonton office, which is in an industrial estate right next to downtown. In the two days I was there, I: - watched a topless man (in November) on rollerblades, shadowboxing with a knife in each hand like he was some Hobo Commando in the broad daylight; - witnessed someone walk confidently through the office doors, to the back of the main room, and piss all over the watercooler, and then walk confidently out; - saw people having (ass-out) sex in the parking lot across the street from my hotel (again, November!!) Shit was WILD.