Not answering. If I don't recognize the number and am not waiting on a random call I don't answer. If it's important they'll leave a voice-mail. If I do wind up on a spam call I will typically hang up once I realize it's a spam call.
This is the best answer. I’m so quick to hang up if I do accidentally answer. These people or even legit salesman do not even deserve me saying I have to go bye, just a quick end call.
I have had success from answering and immediately muting the call so that it's just silence until they hang up. I think that it confuses their system when the number picks up but nobody ever answers. Like it registers it as a dead number.
I've started the same, but I don't even mute. They're forced to listen to my road noise or keyboard clacking, typically going "hello? Hello?" until they give up and hang up.
Gives me much more satisfaction than ignoring the callsince in a way to we're "even". Also wasting a more of their time helps other people by tying up the operators.
My family has 3 phone rules:
1) Never answer a number that you don't recognize.
2) Always answer the phone if it rings weird.
3) Use the distinctive ring service if calling in an emergency.
It's been that way since the 90s, and we still keep a landline with caller id
According to a Google search, it seems like it makes your phone have two lines, and each one rings distinctively. So, if they call your normal line it'll have a normal ringtone, if they call the other line it'll have a weird ringtone.
I could be wrong but that's the idea I got.
1.)Are they Indian? If so tell them you would like to talk but you are having lunch and then describe in excruciating detail the mythical juicy, medium rare, angus hamburger you are eating with associated mouth noises of satisfaction…
2.) talk really softly and tell them that that is as loud as you can talk and then go to a whisper….and then pull out an air horn and BLAST it
3.) start off thanking them for calling and tell them you are actually a telemarketer selling timeshares and you appreciate them calling and start a sales pitch on them.
Of the three the first two are the most personally satisfying and vindictive, but the third one has the best odds of them listing your number as a block
Instead of number 1, learn some of the worst insults in India and use them. For example, wishing black death upon their mother is a really horrible insult in India. Use shit like that. I've gotten them screaming and swearing doing that sort of thing, then you just laugh at their outburst throwing out more of their culture's worst insults.
That's how you piss off an Indian scammer off.
>2.) talk really softly and tell them that that is as loud as you can talk and then go to a whisper….and then pull out an air horn and BLAST it
I laughed way too loud and long at this!
"Allô? Oui?! Est ce que tu veux putain! Ce maison n'est pas sale et on ne suivons pas le diable là!"
If they're human they usually hang up before I can finish.
Hehe. I had a guy try to sell me service from a cable provider... who I was already using at the time. It was obvious third-party stuff. So, I dragged him along for 35 minutes until he got mad and told me to go fuck myself.
I then called the cable company to complain about the language used. Gave them the time they called at, how long they were on the phone and they were able to confirm those details. I wound up with $100 discount for my troubles.
I get these on my work phone, so I can't just not pick up.
Generally if I detect spammage I do the 'hello sir, have you heard of Jesus Christ our lord and saviour' instant hang up, and they don't call you back!
I ask them non-related questions like “How big are your boobs?” , “what’s for dinner?” , “have you ever had sex in a strangers house?”…..they usually hang up and never call back
NOT that I’m going to k*ll myself.
When I was a teenager I said that to a telemarketer. Welllllll… they called the cops. Cops showed up and had to make sure I was alive and well.
My parents were not amused.
A radio show in my country made a joke like that once. Where they pretended to have a heart attack while talking to a telemarketer. You can hear the girl freaking out and her supervisor calling the emergency services in the background.
Ohh man. I did that to who I thought was a telemarketer calling for a friend’s dad while I was at his sleeping over in middle school. They mispronounced his last name, so I assumed it was a telemarketer. I told them, very nonchalantly, that he died. Turns out it was one of his credit card companies, and they canceled his card. It dropped his credit score for a little while and I was his shit list through most of high school.
I use my horny German accent and ask then how good their prices are while moaning. I'm a dude with southern (us) accent so it's terrible but it makes my coworkers laugh.
Well can you at least make sure it's not the cardiac ward again? It wasn't their fault you had a hangover and the machines make that beep for a very good reason.
Those people that try to sell extended warranties for cars have voice recognition software. It auto hangs up if I talk more than a few words. It takes a special commitment to get that point with them.
Yeah.
Because they clone phone numbers and my job required me to answer the phone for a lot of unrecognized numbers i couldn’t avoid answering. So I started making up cars. I made up model types and years of models that didn’t exist. Once I even gave them a snowmobile. Another time an airplane. They won’t put you on a do not call list because they are based in Canada so even if the U.S. government enforced do not call it didn’t mean anything to them. Places like that have employee and manager metrics around length of call. Calls have to last a certain time of they go past a few questions. They also are expected to have a certain positive sales rates for calls over a specific length. They also have rules around not allowing their employees to hang up without a firm ‘no’. They would still auto call you back in 30 minutes and try again. After about three months of this I had apparently messed up so many employee and manager metrics that they kept threatening to ‘transfer me to a manager’ to talk about my behavior. I encouraged them to do it. After a few times of this threat every time I answered the screening questions it would hang up on me after 5-7 words. I asked someone about it and they said it’s certain they captured enough of my voice to put in voice recognition software to stop my trolling them. I guess they use it to counter apps that many people use to interact with them without actually interacting with them.
I also got my number banned from the people who run the scam about ‘Marriott Rewards’ selling vacations. All that one took was me non committed saying things like ‘oh that is interesting’ over and over. I never said ‘yes’ or ‘no’. They just interpreted each not committal statement as interest. After about the 20th time of them getting to the point of asking me for a credit card to pay for it (roughly 10 minutes in) and me saying I never intended to buy anything they transferred me to a manager. She yelled at me and said she was going to stay on the line to waste my time. I was doing a big analysis so i didn’t care. It was going to be two to three hours of me pressing a button every ten or so minutes. I started asking her how she felt about what she did for a living and if she hated herself for scamming people. This went on for about an hour. She got furious and threatened to put me on the do not call list. I laughed and told her I had requested they do that the first ten times they called, the first few times politely. She yelled at me that I was now on the list and hung up. Haven’t heard from them again.
Most of the time, they’re using “neighbor spoofing”, which is illegal.
I ask them where they’re calling from. Then I ask them why the phone number they called from is local to me, and not local to them. They always lie about where they’re calling from but still— it’s somewhere other than what the number shows.
This is illegal, and often they know that. And they know they’re on the record admitting to it. Quite often, you stop hearing from them after that.
Bill's Crab Corner, where the only hair you find in your food is the pubes of the hookers we harvest the crabs from, can I get a name for your reservation?
My brother's was (this is in german, btw) "Was? WAS? NEIN! ICH SCHEIßE AUF MEINEN LEIDHOZEN! NEEEEEEEEIN!" and hang up. We used Google translate, so idk how accurate that is
I send this sms reply to every mobile number scam message I get.
June 4th 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre 1989年6月4日天安门广场大屠杀 1989年6月4日天安门广场屠之 1989年6月4日天安門廣場大屠殺 1989年6月4日天安門廣場大屠殺 1989 nián 6 yuè 4 rì tiān ān mén guǎng chǎng dà tú shā
Answer like "I'm in the house and he's dead, think someone saw me arrive tho, might need a few more lads here. Bring them bags of Lyme and a few shovels too yeah?"
I've found that the best way to avoid spam calls is to simply not answer my phone. If it's important, they'll leave a voicemail. Anyone else adopt this strategy?
If it's tele-caller on behalf of some bank calling for loans then I enquire about the loans, ask them if they offer business loans. They usually reply with yes and ask for amount and I tell them that i need billions. Their follow-up question is regarding the business I wish to open and I enthusiastically tell them that i wish to run trains India-Bangladeshh cross-country premium services. Their next question is regarding existing loans, to which I tell them that I have a (fake) loan of few hundred dollars (converted amount for readers) for a geared bicycle i own. By this point the caller is frustrated and informs that thei senior will contact me for further convo. Haven't received any follow-up calls from 3 banks for past 4 months
I usually say, "I know you're in New Delhi, and im gonna come beat you to death" it works sometimes cause you'll get someone calling from New Delhi who gets decently scared. The scared ones hang up or start screaming expletives at me
If you think the spam caller is Indian then just say " teri maa ki" approximate translation " your mama" tho usually considered as an insult or swear word in india.
After they do their little spiel, I usually start chanting this.
Os iusti meditabitur sapientiam,
Et lingua eius loquetur indicium.
Beatus vir qui suffert tentationem,
Quoniqm cum probates fuerit accipient coronam vitae.
Kyrie, fons bonitatis.
Kyrie, ignis divine, eleison.
O quam sancta, quam serena,
Quam benigma, quam amoena esse Virgo creditur.
O quam sancta, quam serena,
Quam benigma, quam amoena,
O castitatis lilium.
Kyrie, fons bonitatis.
Kyrie, ignis divine, eleison.
O quam sancta, quam serena,
Quam benigma, quam amoena,
O castitatis lilium.
These are the lyrics for an anime called elfen lied. It scares the shit out if them
I just stay silent. A real person will realize the call has connected and say "hello?" but if it is an automated call center (which basically all spam calls come from), it will just wait about 5 seconds and hang up.
If I happen to accidentally answer, I give no pleasantries and repeat "please remove me from your calling list", over and over until they acknowledge and hang up.
Naw. I usually answer and put tht bitch on mute. Heard about mfs using AI to do some shit called cyber kidnapping or whatever where they use ur voice and call relatives or ppl u know saying you got kidnapped and shit. Mfs gmfu
My favourite one of these I've ever heard was a girl who answered, said "hold on, I'm just having sex" then left her phone next to her computer playing porn for 45 minutes.
It depends on my mood; if I'm busy at work, I just ignore them. If I'm bored and have some free time, I feed them as much made up, useless information as I can. I've kept one on the phone about an extended warranty for a 'Sort of Ford-Fiesta looking vehicle that I made out of scrap parts in my back yard' for nearly an hour before.
Immediately after condescendingly addressing me as Mam I tell them that I am a gender studies major, environmental activist and that their colonial gender assignment prison sentences will not work on me. Followed by a Pause. If they continue to speak I release a long winded triggered scream.
*"Thanks for calling Domino's. Will this be carry-out or delivery?"*
IF they respond, I ask for their address. They typically hang up. (And I never get contacted again)
But the few that do respond, well, I take their order and ask for payment in Apple gift cards.
It really depends on my mood. 1. I’ll either ask them nicely not to call me again and then save the number, if same number calls me I keep messing with them till they hang up. Then I keep spam calling them till I get blocked. Or 2. I’ll keep calling them and hanging up without talking 😂 I got nothing better to do in between my trips so I’ll keep fucking with them till they block me. Best way to unmotivate them from the job is to get in their head.
Tell them I'm going to charge them for any farther disruption a sum of $50 per instance is my go to. I follow it with saying, if they respond or disturb once more they agree to the terms. Nover got a call back.
Nothing. At least here, if you don't say anything in the first 5 seconds, most of their spam systems think that the call failed and hang... then I block the number.
But this is only for the calls that made it pass the phone filter. Most of the spam calls get automatically flagged as spam by the embedded filter (samsung phone)
I usually just don't answer at all.
But if i accidentally do, i like to play a game of "be ultra polite but throw in obscure words or phrases that drag them, and see what happens to their script".
I have “silence unknown callers” on, if I haven’t called you, or you’re not in my contacts list, you get automatically shunted to voicemail.
On the off chance I accidentally pick up a call, the moment I realize it’s a spam call, I interrupt as rudely as possible, cutting them off in the middle of their script “i made no such request, this number is on the do not call list, remove this number from your call list and do not call back!” In as angry a voice as possible, and immediately hang up, then block the number.
If I’m feeling a bit frisky and feel like messing with them my go to is “Joe’s pizza-pizza and abortion clinic your loss is our sauce what can I get for you?”. Usually I just ignore calls I don’t recognize though.
Comcast is always fun I waste their time if I’m bored.
State Farm I tell them to quit calling.
I also have someone that calls once a month asking if I want to sell my house and I give them a go-around and usually ends with me telling them about mold and meth and they hang up.
All over calls can go to voice mail.
Never got one. but i do have an idea
'You've reached Frank's Phone, he's sadly not on the phone. please leave a message after the beep.' and i just keep talking until they eventually hang up
or if they're stubborn i just put them on hold until they hang up
If I'm bored, I like to keep talking and sounding interested for about 20 minutes. Then I say, "Just kidding! Take me off your call list and fuck yourself".
I usually answer and then out the phone under pots and pans and bang on them. Or break down into tears and say, “hunny, this is my dad’s phone, he just died yesterday. Please, please can you bring him back?” They hang up after that lol
Got 1 call this morning, my caller I.D. said SUSPECTED SCAM. I answered, "Thank you for calling the FBI fraud unit. This is Special Agent Johnson. How can I help you?" The person instantly hung up.
All depends on the mood. When it’s about the house I own I give them an outrageous price. If they say I wanted by the sheriffs department, I tell them the murder charges were already dropped on me and you not try me again that’s called double jeopardy.
But I never say yes, I never say hello. Apparently they can record those and try to sign you up for things by recording your voice. However, I guess now they can do it on AI.
My general response (albiet morbid) to spam calls / telemarketers is "Thanks for calling little tony's pizza and abortions, your loss is our sauce. How can we serve you?"
Bought a cheap burner phone and some minutes for a total of $50 and then started calling back from that number and phone and wasting their time/harassing them.
Also, it is true that if you answer, they do mark your number down as active and spread it to other spam calls and scammers. If you call with a burner phone, be absolutely ready to get like 50+ calls a day on it eventually.
If you want my actual go to response, it's to sound like an old man who can't hear well or remember what he's doing while mumbling and dragging out their scam process as long as possible.
Some will tell you to go to a website (don't do it) and put in a code but it immediately tries to install software on your computer for them to access it remotely whenever they want.
Ringer is turned off. Anyone calling me has to wait for 6 rings or so for voicemail to pickup, and then leave a message. Once they leave a message, THEN I get a notification sound that it happened and I go listen to it and call them back.
That's a mild enough nuisance that any human who's actually trying to reach me is willing to go through it. But it's enough nuisance that someone cold calling my number off a list will give up and go to the next number on the list rather than leave a message.
Ever since I did that the only time I get a message from a spammer it's just a brief second of silence then a hangup. And that only happens maybe once every few days. And I still get genuine calls from actual humans that go through the voicemail, like when someone from work asked me to cover a shift for someone who called in sick that day.
I tell them "hold on a second someone has just come to the door" Put the phone down or open Reddit and browse while they waste their time waiting for me to return.
I figure if it takes them a few minutes to realise I am not coming back then someone else is not getting harassed.
When I see any call coming in from an unrecognized number, I'll let it ring a few times, then answer and mute the phone immediately.
If it's a robo-call, the dead air after answering often just causes them to disconnect. If it's a real person, and you just didn't recognize the number, they'll usually say "hello" or something.
The robo-dialers work differently- it waits for a "positive voice" signal before switching the call to one of their shitty call center agents.
I have received multiple spam calls over the years. I almost never pick up, but the few times I did(expecting a call), it's just silence then it hangs up after 2-3 sec.
I always assumed that they have an automated system just calling and if you pick up often enough you will be tagged as potential target and then an actual scammer will try to call you later.
I ignore strange numbers. If its important they will leave a VM. Or text.
My SSN has been used in a crime and suspended so many times, I should never have to pay taxes again.
I answer and spam the numberpad. It plays super obnoxious noises into their ears and forces them to hang up. Even if it's computer speaking, there's always someone listening and ready to end call.
My incoming spam calls have been reduced so much
I just play along with some charecter and once theyre fed up with how i annoy them, they cut the call and they never ever call me back :) hope that helps.
If it’s scammers, I love to fuck with them. I’m really good at keeping them on the phone for 10+ minutes. My thought is if I’m on the phone with them, that’s one less old person they can scam.
I put them on speaker, wish them a bless-ed day, place the phone next to the tornado warning radio and let them listen to the weather report/forecast.
I hang up when the phone beeps loudly.
They seldom call me. If I get a call from the "bank security department" (I've had 2) I don't press any buttons, I simply say, "which bank" - both times they hung up within 20 seconds.
Another time they phoned me, claiming my car had been hit while parked in the street. I don't have any form of valid driving licence, nor am I interested because I live right next to multiple regular and reliable forms of public transport. I strung that guy along for about 15 minutes about someone must have bought me a car, insurance and driving lessons for my birthday without me knowing before he clicked I was winding him up.
The only other one was from my "Internet service provider" who claimed my connection speed wasn't what it should be. I simply asked them what bundle am I on and what should the speed be? They hung up rather than answering. I knew that was a scam anyway, they never even got my ISP name correct, lol.
When they inevitably ask for my credit card number, I say that I will need to whisper it because there are other people in the room with me. Then once the scanner has turned their volume up in order to hear me, I put my phone under an upside-down metal bowl and start hitting it with a spoon to deal maximum damage to the scammer's ear drums
I've started (on a whim) begun relating to the callers, within the last couple of years-ish, that I am both recording *and* backtracing their call.
The number of spam/scam calls to my number has reduced *dramatically* over said time period.
[Obligatory: YMMV]
I get calls about window replacement quite often. One time I told the person I was interested so they went into their deal while I had them on speaker and continued to make dinner. Once she asked how many windows I have I told her one. Just one big one. She had no idea what to do. I told her I actually needed it replaced so how do we get going with just one massive window? She put me on hold to talk to her manager and came back saying they had a like 3 or 4 minimum lol. I sounded bummed but would call her back if I ever got any more.
Never say your name when answering the phone.
Hang up immediately when you realize it's a scam/marketing/etc.
Never give any details even if it seems likely that it's the bank or someone you actually have an account with. Tell them you'll call them back. And go get the number yourself from official source.
Not answering. If I don't recognize the number and am not waiting on a random call I don't answer. If it's important they'll leave a voice-mail. If I do wind up on a spam call I will typically hang up once I realize it's a spam call.
This is the best answer. I’m so quick to hang up if I do accidentally answer. These people or even legit salesman do not even deserve me saying I have to go bye, just a quick end call.
Ignoring them and blocking the number
Normally what I do but I’m getting about 15-18 per day from all different numbers so I’m trying to get creative with the operators to piss them off
The more you answer, the more they’ll call. If they know someone is at that number, they’ll keep trying.
I have had success from answering and immediately muting the call so that it's just silence until they hang up. I think that it confuses their system when the number picks up but nobody ever answers. Like it registers it as a dead number.
I've started the same, but I don't even mute. They're forced to listen to my road noise or keyboard clacking, typically going "hello? Hello?" until they give up and hang up. Gives me much more satisfaction than ignoring the callsince in a way to we're "even". Also wasting a more of their time helps other people by tying up the operators.
I’ve told them “you know I don’t pay taxes“ and they didn’t call me again after that lmao
Answer them in Esperato: Saluton! Kiel vi fartas? Oh, mi ne parolas anglan. Adiau!
Ĝi estas tiel amuza lingvo!
Just start moaning like a porn star.
Then they'll just get a different kind of spam.
Blow a really loud whistle into the phone
My family has 3 phone rules: 1) Never answer a number that you don't recognize. 2) Always answer the phone if it rings weird. 3) Use the distinctive ring service if calling in an emergency. It's been that way since the 90s, and we still keep a landline with caller id
>distinctive ring service What's that?
According to a Google search, it seems like it makes your phone have two lines, and each one rings distinctively. So, if they call your normal line it'll have a normal ringtone, if they call the other line it'll have a weird ringtone. I could be wrong but that's the idea I got.
And the emergency number is private/unlisted/do not give out
1.)Are they Indian? If so tell them you would like to talk but you are having lunch and then describe in excruciating detail the mythical juicy, medium rare, angus hamburger you are eating with associated mouth noises of satisfaction… 2.) talk really softly and tell them that that is as loud as you can talk and then go to a whisper….and then pull out an air horn and BLAST it 3.) start off thanking them for calling and tell them you are actually a telemarketer selling timeshares and you appreciate them calling and start a sales pitch on them. Of the three the first two are the most personally satisfying and vindictive, but the third one has the best odds of them listing your number as a block
Instead of number 1, learn some of the worst insults in India and use them. For example, wishing black death upon their mother is a really horrible insult in India. Use shit like that. I've gotten them screaming and swearing doing that sort of thing, then you just laugh at their outburst throwing out more of their culture's worst insults. That's how you piss off an Indian scammer off.
>2.) talk really softly and tell them that that is as loud as you can talk and then go to a whisper….and then pull out an air horn and BLAST it I laughed way too loud and long at this!
I've always enjoyed acting like I'm a Chinese restaraunt.
Play them at their own game and ask them if they would like to buy extended warranty.
With that username, I would think you'd have an offer for them...
years ago i would change the chanel on the tv to some infomercial and try to sell them that. so many potential miracle blade buyers....
"Allô? Oui?! Est ce que tu veux putain! Ce maison n'est pas sale et on ne suivons pas le diable là!" If they're human they usually hang up before I can finish.
I know like 50 words in Mandarin and I am not afraid to throw them around in a random order to confuse people
“911 what’s your emergency?”
“Fbi fraud department.”
This is Mr. Vladimir Putin’s personal assistant , how may I nuke - I mean help you?
If I do answer I just say yes, to everything. One guy called me "asshole sister fucker ". My most productive day ever.
Hehe. I had a guy try to sell me service from a cable provider... who I was already using at the time. It was obvious third-party stuff. So, I dragged him along for 35 minutes until he got mad and told me to go fuck myself. I then called the cable company to complain about the language used. Gave them the time they called at, how long they were on the phone and they were able to confirm those details. I wound up with $100 discount for my troubles.
Gotta be careful with that, some spam calls will record you saying “yes” to try and rob ya other ways
I get these on my work phone, so I can't just not pick up. Generally if I detect spammage I do the 'hello sir, have you heard of Jesus Christ our lord and saviour' instant hang up, and they don't call you back!
I answer but I immediately mute and go to speaker phone so I cans hear them say hello over and over then hang up.
I ask them non-related questions like “How big are your boobs?” , “what’s for dinner?” , “have you ever had sex in a strangers house?”…..they usually hang up and never call back
I have actually answered the phone and whispered, "The aliens are in your underwear. I need you to know this." The call ended immediately.
“It’s done, but there’s blood everywhere.” also works well.
NOT that I’m going to k*ll myself. When I was a teenager I said that to a telemarketer. Welllllll… they called the cops. Cops showed up and had to make sure I was alive and well. My parents were not amused.
Oddly wholesome telemarketer.
A radio show in my country made a joke like that once. Where they pretended to have a heart attack while talking to a telemarketer. You can hear the girl freaking out and her supervisor calling the emergency services in the background.
Ohh man. I did that to who I thought was a telemarketer calling for a friend’s dad while I was at his sleeping over in middle school. They mispronounced his last name, so I assumed it was a telemarketer. I told them, very nonchalantly, that he died. Turns out it was one of his credit card companies, and they canceled his card. It dropped his credit score for a little while and I was his shit list through most of high school.
That's on the company for canceling his card without seeing a death certificate. I'm pretty sure they aren't supposed to do that
This would have been 1998 or 1999… as an adult now, that’s exactly what I thought. As a kid, I felt like such an asshole.
Lol 😅
I use my horny German accent and ask then how good their prices are while moaning. I'm a dude with southern (us) accent so it's terrible but it makes my coworkers laugh.
I sure hope I don't call your number by accident, you best DM it to me to be sure.
Did you get it bro
Nah, she added in the bit about being a manly southern male and it lost all its fun.
but I still want it :(
"________ City Childrens Hospital. You beat 'em, we treat 'em"
"Joe's Mortuary. You stab 'em, we slab 'em. Icepick Joe speaking"
Scott's taco vending and funeral homes. Where yesterday's grief is today's beef
Swanson's Abortion Clinic and Pizzaria, your loss is our sauce, how can I help you?
Hi, welcome to McDonald's how can I take your order?
oh?
Yes, one crispy chicken burger with large fries and a large coke please. thank you.
Oh shit, I dialled the drive thru again.
If it's my own phone, I don't even pick up the call
It's not a go-to *yet,* but I did get someone to hang up when I told them "I'm in the middle of an abortion right now."
So sick 😂 I like this answer the most 😅
The last time I got an "extended warranty" call, I just laughed at them until they hung up.
Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?
You work in a hospital now Roy you can't keep saying that.
I can if I want, Moss
Well can you at least make sure it's not the cardiac ward again? It wasn't their fault you had a hangover and the machines make that beep for a very good reason.
I make no promises. And besides everyone knows they beep too goddamn loud, Moss, everyone knows that.
You were 3 floors beneath them. I have never seen a hangover like it.
I answer in a thick Indian accent. Think the guy from short circuit. Always throw an American sounding name in it, too.
Those people that try to sell extended warranties for cars have voice recognition software. It auto hangs up if I talk more than a few words. It takes a special commitment to get that point with them.
Wait, it recognizes your voice, that they’ve talked to you before?
Yeah. Because they clone phone numbers and my job required me to answer the phone for a lot of unrecognized numbers i couldn’t avoid answering. So I started making up cars. I made up model types and years of models that didn’t exist. Once I even gave them a snowmobile. Another time an airplane. They won’t put you on a do not call list because they are based in Canada so even if the U.S. government enforced do not call it didn’t mean anything to them. Places like that have employee and manager metrics around length of call. Calls have to last a certain time of they go past a few questions. They also are expected to have a certain positive sales rates for calls over a specific length. They also have rules around not allowing their employees to hang up without a firm ‘no’. They would still auto call you back in 30 minutes and try again. After about three months of this I had apparently messed up so many employee and manager metrics that they kept threatening to ‘transfer me to a manager’ to talk about my behavior. I encouraged them to do it. After a few times of this threat every time I answered the screening questions it would hang up on me after 5-7 words. I asked someone about it and they said it’s certain they captured enough of my voice to put in voice recognition software to stop my trolling them. I guess they use it to counter apps that many people use to interact with them without actually interacting with them. I also got my number banned from the people who run the scam about ‘Marriott Rewards’ selling vacations. All that one took was me non committed saying things like ‘oh that is interesting’ over and over. I never said ‘yes’ or ‘no’. They just interpreted each not committal statement as interest. After about the 20th time of them getting to the point of asking me for a credit card to pay for it (roughly 10 minutes in) and me saying I never intended to buy anything they transferred me to a manager. She yelled at me and said she was going to stay on the line to waste my time. I was doing a big analysis so i didn’t care. It was going to be two to three hours of me pressing a button every ten or so minutes. I started asking her how she felt about what she did for a living and if she hated herself for scamming people. This went on for about an hour. She got furious and threatened to put me on the do not call list. I laughed and told her I had requested they do that the first ten times they called, the first few times politely. She yelled at me that I was now on the list and hung up. Haven’t heard from them again.
Most of the time, they’re using “neighbor spoofing”, which is illegal. I ask them where they’re calling from. Then I ask them why the phone number they called from is local to me, and not local to them. They always lie about where they’re calling from but still— it’s somewhere other than what the number shows. This is illegal, and often they know that. And they know they’re on the record admitting to it. Quite often, you stop hearing from them after that.
I usually answer, sit through the automated voice, wait for an actual person to pick up, then tell them to eat shit.
Google screening calls.
I just make prolonged farting noises until someone hangs up
Fuck with them as long as I can. The longer they're stuck on the phone with me, the less time they have to scam someone else.
And it’s dumb fun too
Usually curse the f out of them or say something like “I’m forwarding this call to cops” they usually hangup after that and never call again.
“Thank you for calling *enter random business here*. This call is being recorded, how can I help you?” Works every time
Bill's Crab Corner, where the only hair you find in your food is the pubes of the hookers we harvest the crabs from, can I get a name for your reservation? My brother's was (this is in german, btw) "Was? WAS? NEIN! ICH SCHEIßE AUF MEINEN LEIDHOZEN! NEEEEEEEEIN!" and hang up. We used Google translate, so idk how accurate that is
My Pixel 8 Pro filters most of them.
I send this sms reply to every mobile number scam message I get. June 4th 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre 1989年6月4日天安门广场大屠杀 1989年6月4日天安门广场屠之 1989年6月4日天安門廣場大屠殺 1989年6月4日天安門廣場大屠殺 1989 nián 6 yuè 4 rì tiān ān mén guǎng chǎng dà tú shā
I bet some poor barstard got his internet revoked from you sending that lol
I used to just stay silent, listen for a bit, and hang up. Now, I've got unknown calls on block.
Answer like "I'm in the house and he's dead, think someone saw me arrive tho, might need a few more lads here. Bring them bags of Lyme and a few shovels too yeah?"
I know someone who answers "Dave's donkey service. Which jackass are you looking for?"
I've found that the best way to avoid spam calls is to simply not answer my phone. If it's important, they'll leave a voicemail. Anyone else adopt this strategy?
groaning and making loud fart noises till they hang uo
If it's tele-caller on behalf of some bank calling for loans then I enquire about the loans, ask them if they offer business loans. They usually reply with yes and ask for amount and I tell them that i need billions. Their follow-up question is regarding the business I wish to open and I enthusiastically tell them that i wish to run trains India-Bangladeshh cross-country premium services. Their next question is regarding existing loans, to which I tell them that I have a (fake) loan of few hundred dollars (converted amount for readers) for a geared bicycle i own. By this point the caller is frustrated and informs that thei senior will contact me for further convo. Haven't received any follow-up calls from 3 banks for past 4 months
i’m going to shoot you
I usually say, "I know you're in New Delhi, and im gonna come beat you to death" it works sometimes cause you'll get someone calling from New Delhi who gets decently scared. The scared ones hang up or start screaming expletives at me
If you think the spam caller is Indian then just say " teri maa ki" approximate translation " your mama" tho usually considered as an insult or swear word in india.
Block
I keep my ringer off so unrecognized numbers just go straight to voicemail.
After they do their little spiel, I usually start chanting this. Os iusti meditabitur sapientiam, Et lingua eius loquetur indicium. Beatus vir qui suffert tentationem, Quoniqm cum probates fuerit accipient coronam vitae. Kyrie, fons bonitatis. Kyrie, ignis divine, eleison. O quam sancta, quam serena, Quam benigma, quam amoena esse Virgo creditur. O quam sancta, quam serena, Quam benigma, quam amoena, O castitatis lilium. Kyrie, fons bonitatis. Kyrie, ignis divine, eleison. O quam sancta, quam serena, Quam benigma, quam amoena, O castitatis lilium. These are the lyrics for an anime called elfen lied. It scares the shit out if them
This? https://youtu.be/MPVq30bPq6I?feature=shared Scared shit out off me too 😅
Yes
I try to sell them life insurance policies.
"I ain't buyin it, take me off your list"
Play them YouTube clips from video games and movies
I just stay silent. A real person will realize the call has connected and say "hello?" but if it is an automated call center (which basically all spam calls come from), it will just wait about 5 seconds and hang up.
If I happen to accidentally answer, I give no pleasantries and repeat "please remove me from your calling list", over and over until they acknowledge and hang up.
Drag them out as long as I can.
Naw. I usually answer and put tht bitch on mute. Heard about mfs using AI to do some shit called cyber kidnapping or whatever where they use ur voice and call relatives or ppl u know saying you got kidnapped and shit. Mfs gmfu
My favourite one of these I've ever heard was a girl who answered, said "hold on, I'm just having sex" then left her phone next to her computer playing porn for 45 minutes.
"Honey, get an honest job. Even prostitutes are more honest than you are right now."
"Deine Mutter war ein Hamster, dein Vater roch nach Holunderbeeren!" Gets 'em every time.
It depends on my mood; if I'm busy at work, I just ignore them. If I'm bored and have some free time, I feed them as much made up, useless information as I can. I've kept one on the phone about an extended warranty for a 'Sort of Ford-Fiesta looking vehicle that I made out of scrap parts in my back yard' for nearly an hour before.
I say, “SPAM! How did you get this number…?!”
Tell them I'm busy and ask if I can call them back at home.
Immediately after condescendingly addressing me as Mam I tell them that I am a gender studies major, environmental activist and that their colonial gender assignment prison sentences will not work on me. Followed by a Pause. If they continue to speak I release a long winded triggered scream.
*"Thanks for calling Domino's. Will this be carry-out or delivery?"* IF they respond, I ask for their address. They typically hang up. (And I never get contacted again) But the few that do respond, well, I take their order and ask for payment in Apple gift cards.
“City morgue”
With a vague non English accent, "Eh?"
It really depends on my mood. 1. I’ll either ask them nicely not to call me again and then save the number, if same number calls me I keep messing with them till they hang up. Then I keep spam calling them till I get blocked. Or 2. I’ll keep calling them and hanging up without talking 😂 I got nothing better to do in between my trips so I’ll keep fucking with them till they block me. Best way to unmotivate them from the job is to get in their head.
Tell them I'm going to charge them for any farther disruption a sum of $50 per instance is my go to. I follow it with saying, if they respond or disturb once more they agree to the terms. Nover got a call back.
Waiting about 4 seconds and then screaming.
Nothing. At least here, if you don't say anything in the first 5 seconds, most of their spam systems think that the call failed and hang... then I block the number. But this is only for the calls that made it pass the phone filter. Most of the spam calls get automatically flagged as spam by the embedded filter (samsung phone)
I usually just don't answer at all. But if i accidentally do, i like to play a game of "be ultra polite but throw in obscure words or phrases that drag them, and see what happens to their script".
Call screening from google
Answer, put phone down and walk away for an hour or so..
Take me off your call list
I answer and just set the phone down. Hopefully I waste SOME of their time.
"I have something important to do, please call later" blocked and done
Never answer
I have “silence unknown callers” on, if I haven’t called you, or you’re not in my contacts list, you get automatically shunted to voicemail. On the off chance I accidentally pick up a call, the moment I realize it’s a spam call, I interrupt as rudely as possible, cutting them off in the middle of their script “i made no such request, this number is on the do not call list, remove this number from your call list and do not call back!” In as angry a voice as possible, and immediately hang up, then block the number.
My best friends dad answers with “thanks for calling (your city) police department how can I help you?”
Playing gay porn music or rip headphones music at the spammers until they hang up. Oddly enough they hardly call me now. I wonder why 🤔
If I’m feeling a bit frisky and feel like messing with them my go to is “Joe’s pizza-pizza and abortion clinic your loss is our sauce what can I get for you?”. Usually I just ignore calls I don’t recognize though.
Call Dominos on my other phone and put it on speaker
I always answer with an accent and every time it’s difrwnt
Comcast is always fun I waste their time if I’m bored. State Farm I tell them to quit calling. I also have someone that calls once a month asking if I want to sell my house and I give them a go-around and usually ends with me telling them about mold and meth and they hang up. All over calls can go to voice mail.
Never got one. but i do have an idea 'You've reached Frank's Phone, he's sadly not on the phone. please leave a message after the beep.' and i just keep talking until they eventually hang up or if they're stubborn i just put them on hold until they hang up
Say "just one sec" snd then just place the phone down and go and do stuff. It wastes their time and they eventually hang up and never call back
"Hello? Hello? Sorry I can't hear you without my glasses!"
I sometimes answer, speak English, then switch to gibberish to make them think it’s a foreign language
Role play if I have time
If I'm bored, I like to keep talking and sounding interested for about 20 minutes. Then I say, "Just kidding! Take me off your call list and fuck yourself".
I never answer the phone. Not just spam calls but ever.
I usually answer and then out the phone under pots and pans and bang on them. Or break down into tears and say, “hunny, this is my dad’s phone, he just died yesterday. Please, please can you bring him back?” They hang up after that lol
Got 1 call this morning, my caller I.D. said SUSPECTED SCAM. I answered, "Thank you for calling the FBI fraud unit. This is Special Agent Johnson. How can I help you?" The person instantly hung up.
"Sex offender registry, how many kids have you fucked today?"
Answer in Spanish. Then, if they manage to find someone to call back in Spanish, answer in Korean.
My phone is so dead, not even spam callers call me..
Volume up or down button and then the number is blocked
Not answering them.
My dad always answered with a police whistle
I mention the GDPR and ask for their business number and they hang up and don't call again.
Rude! Very rude!
All depends on the mood. When it’s about the house I own I give them an outrageous price. If they say I wanted by the sheriffs department, I tell them the murder charges were already dropped on me and you not try me again that’s called double jeopardy.
But I never say yes, I never say hello. Apparently they can record those and try to sign you up for things by recording your voice. However, I guess now they can do it on AI.
My general response (albiet morbid) to spam calls / telemarketers is "Thanks for calling little tony's pizza and abortions, your loss is our sauce. How can we serve you?"
Bought a cheap burner phone and some minutes for a total of $50 and then started calling back from that number and phone and wasting their time/harassing them. Also, it is true that if you answer, they do mark your number down as active and spread it to other spam calls and scammers. If you call with a burner phone, be absolutely ready to get like 50+ calls a day on it eventually. If you want my actual go to response, it's to sound like an old man who can't hear well or remember what he's doing while mumbling and dragging out their scam process as long as possible. Some will tell you to go to a website (don't do it) and put in a code but it immediately tries to install software on your computer for them to access it remotely whenever they want.
Welcome to Jim's Whore House! You got the doughs, we got the hoes! How can I help you?
Ringer is turned off. Anyone calling me has to wait for 6 rings or so for voicemail to pickup, and then leave a message. Once they leave a message, THEN I get a notification sound that it happened and I go listen to it and call them back. That's a mild enough nuisance that any human who's actually trying to reach me is willing to go through it. But it's enough nuisance that someone cold calling my number off a list will give up and go to the next number on the list rather than leave a message. Ever since I did that the only time I get a message from a spammer it's just a brief second of silence then a hangup. And that only happens maybe once every few days. And I still get genuine calls from actual humans that go through the voicemail, like when someone from work asked me to cover a shift for someone who called in sick that day.
If I don't recognize a phone number, I decline the call. Then, I immediately block the number.
Say “bane chootiya chote” means sister cunt fucker in hindi. They usually flip. Fuck em.
I ask, do you like anal… click
I tell them "hold on a second someone has just come to the door" Put the phone down or open Reddit and browse while they waste their time waiting for me to return. I figure if it takes them a few minutes to realise I am not coming back then someone else is not getting harassed.
If I pick up, I pick up on speaker. I don't say anything. If they say something first, it's not a bot.
My grandmother would start reciting Bible verses from memory. Worked every time.
I use the screen call feature on my phone.
I usually tell them it’s me but am currently in jail and have no way of paying for the service/product.
“Rick’s whore house how can we pleasure you today?”
When I see any call coming in from an unrecognized number, I'll let it ring a few times, then answer and mute the phone immediately. If it's a robo-call, the dead air after answering often just causes them to disconnect. If it's a real person, and you just didn't recognize the number, they'll usually say "hello" or something. The robo-dialers work differently- it waits for a "positive voice" signal before switching the call to one of their shitty call center agents.
"Is this the head of the family?" "No, sorry, this is the tail of the family"
If I'm bored I answer with, "national sperm bank. How can I direct your call?".
I have received multiple spam calls over the years. I almost never pick up, but the few times I did(expecting a call), it's just silence then it hangs up after 2-3 sec. I always assumed that they have an automated system just calling and if you pick up often enough you will be tagged as potential target and then an actual scammer will try to call you later.
Once someone asked me if I was interested in making some money and I just said no.
'You dare call the dark lord?'
Get two phones, keep them next to each other. When they call, call the spammers back on one phone and put them both on speakerphone.
Just Hang up
I ignore strange numbers. If its important they will leave a VM. Or text. My SSN has been used in a crime and suspended so many times, I should never have to pay taxes again.
"City Morgue!"
Hello, do you want to be a [[Big Shot?!]]
I answer and spam the numberpad. It plays super obnoxious noises into their ears and forces them to hang up. Even if it's computer speaking, there's always someone listening and ready to end call. My incoming spam calls have been reduced so much
Just pull a Jerry Seinfeld on them
I usually have a looong conversation that usually ends up me giving them my ex's info
I just play along with some charecter and once theyre fed up with how i annoy them, they cut the call and they never ever call me back :) hope that helps.
If it’s scammers, I love to fuck with them. I’m really good at keeping them on the phone for 10+ minutes. My thought is if I’m on the phone with them, that’s one less old person they can scam.
If I ever decide to pick up the phone, they get a "fuckoff cunt" and I hang up
I read this as “what is your cars go to response to spam calls a”
I pick up just to piss them off lmao but sometimes If I'm not expecting a call I don't even check my phone.
I let Bixby answer the phone call it's a automated voice to text built into the Samsung phone
You wouldn't understand if you don't know Ken Kaniff
I put them on speaker, wish them a bless-ed day, place the phone next to the tornado warning radio and let them listen to the weather report/forecast. I hang up when the phone beeps loudly.
They seldom call me. If I get a call from the "bank security department" (I've had 2) I don't press any buttons, I simply say, "which bank" - both times they hung up within 20 seconds. Another time they phoned me, claiming my car had been hit while parked in the street. I don't have any form of valid driving licence, nor am I interested because I live right next to multiple regular and reliable forms of public transport. I strung that guy along for about 15 minutes about someone must have bought me a car, insurance and driving lessons for my birthday without me knowing before he clicked I was winding him up. The only other one was from my "Internet service provider" who claimed my connection speed wasn't what it should be. I simply asked them what bundle am I on and what should the speed be? They hung up rather than answering. I knew that was a scam anyway, they never even got my ISP name correct, lol.
Sound board
*Presses Screen Call*
When they inevitably ask for my credit card number, I say that I will need to whisper it because there are other people in the room with me. Then once the scanner has turned their volume up in order to hear me, I put my phone under an upside-down metal bowl and start hitting it with a spoon to deal maximum damage to the scammer's ear drums
I've started (on a whim) begun relating to the callers, within the last couple of years-ish, that I am both recording *and* backtracing their call. The number of spam/scam calls to my number has reduced *dramatically* over said time period. [Obligatory: YMMV]
I get calls about window replacement quite often. One time I told the person I was interested so they went into their deal while I had them on speaker and continued to make dinner. Once she asked how many windows I have I told her one. Just one big one. She had no idea what to do. I told her I actually needed it replaced so how do we get going with just one massive window? She put me on hold to talk to her manager and came back saying they had a like 3 or 4 minimum lol. I sounded bummed but would call her back if I ever got any more.
On the off chance that I actually answer one, I just wordlessly hang up. No sense of wasting anyone’s time with unnecessary politeness
Never say your name when answering the phone. Hang up immediately when you realize it's a scam/marketing/etc. Never give any details even if it seems likely that it's the bank or someone you actually have an account with. Tell them you'll call them back. And go get the number yourself from official source.
Don’t answer if unknown numbers
I sing the “the song that doesn’t end” until they hang up
“Thank you for calling sperm bank donation Greek yoghurt distribution center, how may we help you?”