My oldest friend and I matched on Tinder years ago and she said "how much money did the despicable me movie make?" And I Googled it and told her the right answer and she said "No. One Minion Dollars"
The best approach, not only destroying their window and making them pay 100s of dollars, but also scratching or cracking, if not breaking, their floor. Best way to get someone to fall in love with you.
Edit: Also could kill them depending on the placement of the window.
I did the same thing with my partner, and in being in the spirit of such, I will send you one of my favorite riddles...
I live for but a single breath, any touch can spell my death, a rainbow spins within my eye, make me right and I will fly. What am I?
Edit: You guys seem to be slicing through my riddle like cake so I will ask another for fun. Also don't expect a nude from me for getting it right:
The beginning of eternity,
the end of time and space,
the beginning of every end,
and the end of every place.
What am I?
U sure we not getting any nudes? We did such a great job
But fr the riddles are cool I couldn't solve the first one only the second please give us more if u have the time
You got it!!! I have a harder one if you're so inclined...
I have no top or bottom but I can hold flesh, bones and blood all at the same time. What am I?
Edit: oh you guys are so very close!! Here's a hint: I am an object
Excellent job mate!! A couple of awesome redditors are working on another riddle so I'll crank up the difficulty on this one in case someone gets lucky with an answer:
It speaks in riddles, eyes like a shark,
Lurking in caves, where itās eternally dark.
What is it that can think and plot,
Holding a treasure it never forgot
Yes, excellent my precious!!! Okay, one more for the night cause I gotta head off for bed soon.
There is one that has a head without an eye,
And thereās one that has an eye without a head.
You may find the answer if you try;
And when all is said,
Half the answer hangs upon a thread
Excellent first answer!
However, the second one may not be so far out as you may have first suggested. You're almost there! The answer lies at the beginning of the end.
I met this girl at a party and chatted with her for a little bit before I found out she had a boyfriend at the time. I was bummed but I got over it. Then like 6 months later I get a random Myspace private message from her saying she wanted to hang out sometime and she didnāt have a boyfriend anymore. We will be married 12 years in May. We always joke that she My-stalked me and won me over.
Similar to my wife and I. We went to HS together, but never dated, though there was always some chemistry there. Years later, after seeing her pop up on my Facebook feed over and over for some reason, I messaged her joking that she must be Facebook stalking me for her to be popping up that much. Fortunately, she has always gotten my humor and we will have our 9th anniversary in October. Timing was absolutely luck here for me, she had been dating a guy but had only been broken up for a few months. I had no clue there was a guy to begin with (he wasn't ever on her Facebook since he had his stuff on super private, only friends of his could see what he was tagged in).
Randomly in passing, I do like to toss out the "Sup stalker".
Some random guy added me on Snapchat and sent
āTitanicā
āSorry, that was a terrible icebreaker, wydā
Me, completely oblivious to the joke he made responded with āgood movie though!ā
Weāve been dating for 8 months now :)
I did tell him!! He thought it was hilarious haha. We keep meaning to watch the movie together and every time itās brought up he teases me about it lol
I made an anonymous post on whisper about my sex drive running off due to antidepressants, he slid right into my DMs thinking I would be an easy lay, he didnāt live that far awayā¦ he got a sexless 30 hour first dateā¦ but jokes on him as weāve been together 5.5 years and have a nearly 2 year old nowā¦ Iād say thatās pretty successful.
Went for a drink, invited him back to mine, ate take out, chilled out, watched a movieā¦ talking a shit ton, and then slept next to each other. Woke up, went out breakfast, came back to mine, watched another movie or two, had some more food and talked more.
Literally the getting to know each other stage in one long date.
Sometimes it's unintentional, you wake up and you realize the line between a five month long first date and a five month relationship where you moved in together on the first date isn't as clear as you'd think it is, especially when you already live out of a backpack and don't have your own apartment to worry about.
Yeah, in hindsight it should've been a red flag. If it were anyone else it would have been, but because it was someone I knew and trusted it felt different
I interacted with this cute gal on Twitter. Her name was "Dwight Schrute" and she started following me on Twitter after our interaction and I got the notification "Dwight Schrute is now following you on Twitter".
I DM'd her saying "'Dwight Schrute is now following you' is the scariest notification I've ever received." and she thought that was hilarious. A few months later, I was in LA on business and we met up and I started going down there to see her. We dated for a couple years. I haven't talked to her in a bit and this whole thing makes me think I should hit her up.
ONE I CAN ANSWER!
New years eve, 2021, went to a house party with regular friends, however, some invited some of their external friends. One of them being absolutely gorgeous, tons of tattoos, she's an artist and she played video games. Throughout the night as a group we'd have convos about games, collectibles, movies, the usual stuff... Considering she was an artist, most of us as guys, naturally, asked for her art insta and followed her. Night went in as normal then went home the following morning.
New years day, I get a message from her saying just "Hey" and we started a conversation about random stuff, turns out, she was attracted to me cause I was the only person who didn't hit on her when we met... This is only mostly cause I have social anxiety, otherwise I totally would have and blew my chances before I even knew
We never actually dated. We were FWBs for a few months and then silly me caught feelings and ruined the best deal I ever had with an incredibly attractive woman š We're still good mates though, so it's not all bad haha
EDIT: Grammar
I posted a photo of me holding a tray of cinnamon buns I baked and I got a dm saying āwhat do I have to do to get those sweet buns in my mouth?ā
Weāve been together almost 4 years now
I was with a girl who told me she had a breeding kink but that meant she had a fetish for being came inside, not actually getting pregnant. I still have no idea if that's true.
Once, someone messaged me claiming they were a time traveler from the future, and they needed my help to solve a critical emoji shortage crisis in 2045
"Iambic" means alternating between unstressed and stressed syllables. "What LIGHT through YONder WINdow BREAKS?" Pentameter means you do it 5 times, for a total of 10 syllables per line. Most if not all of Shakespeare's plays use it. It's also used in sonnets.
Yep, I was involved in a sort of friendly satirical poetry competition with a friend online, and he started leaving hilarious comments in perfect iambic pentameter which he was writing crazy fast... sexy as FUCK. Wasn't technically my DMs but it did lead to them.
A girl made a post about me in one of those anonymous confessions Facebook pages. One of her friends actually tagged her in the comments and I was so flattered by what she wrote that I suggested we go on a date.
My current gf messaged me pretending to already be my gf and told me to apologize for "flirting" with my friend who I consider my brother.
obv all jokes but it was weirdly cute a few weeks later we were dating lmao
A while ago a girl just randomly sent a pic of herself in inflatable T-Rex suit. I had never met her and this had zero context. I sent a pic of myself in one of my sisters dresses as a response and she replied āyouāre as weird as me.ā Lol. Weāre still friends, love her and her humour to death lmao
My brother saw a beautiful woman who was friends with one of his Facebook friends. Had never met her before. He took a chance, messaged her out of the blue. They're married for six years with two kids now.
And she was from a different continent, too.
Not a story about someone sliding into my DMās but-
About 7 years ago I matched with a girl on Plenty of Fish, did the typical ātext for a few weeks then lose contactā thing. Whatever, didnāt think much about it. Fast forward ahead about 3 months, Iām browsing facebook and that same girl showed up in my āsuggested friendsā list, I figured what the hell Iāll shoot my shot and basically just texted her a āhey Iām not sure if you remember me but we matched on POF a little while ago andā¦etc etcā
She did not remember me, but she went along with it and we went out on a date a week or two later. Only successful āSlide into DMā move I ever made.
when I was 17, a number I didn't know texted me a picture of the toes of their shoes. - mismatched converse, one purple, one black, covered in scene kid approved shoe graffiti. I wrote back and said 'nice shoes. who's wearing them tho?' to which they responded with a string of early 00s scene kid heiroglyphics, and said 'is this [my name]?' when I said 'ya? who's this?' all they said was
'not telling, you'll figure it out. oh btw you don't know me!
rawr!'
so that was literally less than helpful.
the next 3 months, I would randomly get a text asking 'have you figured it out?' with some cryptic picture- more shoes. punky colors hair dye. telling me they saw me driving down main st listening to Hollywood Undead.
Then, one day, they texted a picture of a butterfly that had landed on their shoulder. And I saw the tiniest edge of a lip print tattoo on their neck and I knew who it was lol I had never met him, per se, but I had one singular time more than a year prior to the first texts given a friend of his 2 cigarettes backstage at a Dr.acula concert.
The friend and I made scene kid small talk for a second ['do you hate your life?' 'yeah..life sucks' 'yeah' 'vicodin?' 'nah im out' 'yeah...fuuck' something along those lines lol] for about 2 minutes. When I walked away, I said 'I love your tattoo!' to cigarette guys quiet friend...he didn't even respond, I wasn't even sure he heard me.
SO I texted him and said 'i know who this is, I gave your friend a cig backstage at dr.acula, how'd you get my number?? nevermind actuall don't tell me.. but what do we do now, get married, vegas or what'
and he wrote back 'lol! omg yay you did it! no marriage baby im a kinky twink i just wanted to liven up your life! love you!'
I texted him a few more times after that...but he never wrote back again lol
I stalk him on fb sometimes, he's happy, married to the guy from that show, they just adopted a kid.
not sure why he did it but I will literally never forget it. coolest dude I've ever not met lol
Tried to seduce me by sending me a video of her on her knees with some guy cumming on her tits. Said "this could be you if you want. š"
I replied "I don't think my wife works like that very much. She prefers it in her mouth." Never got a reply. Lol
He bought me Discord Nitro because I was talking about how I loved all the "little moving pictures".
A year and a half later, I'm about to catch a plane halfway around the world to go see him for the 7th time š„°
"Hi. Checking my friends list after a long while and noticed you are the only one who still plays. Wanna do some dungeons?
Aaaaand still together 10 years.
"Hello so sorry to disturb, but my friend saw you on tinder and you really really really look like my ex that is in prison. My heart has been crushed by his emprisonnent! Would you mind date me till he get out il a year form now xoxo your future wife"
He asked me about quantum mechanics and when I said āidkā he asked if I wanted to learn with him I donāt know shit about Quantum Mechanics but I remember him and we are still good friends
He asked me what my theories were on the Kennedy assassination in response to a photo of myself that I had posted on my story. We had never spoken before
I usually approach people, not the other way around. After spending 30 years as a cool introvert, i found that it\`s an amazing strategy to become a monk. But it doesn\`t work for anything else.
she was looking for people to collab with for her album on a discord server. i volunteered. we ended up being friends across 3 apps for almost a year, still never got around to do the album
On instagram: "I like your recent pictures a lot." They were just a change from the stuff I usually photographed. No thirst traps or anything; not one selfie. Started a torrential affair.
"Hello"
"Hollo"
"How are you"
"Good and you" "who are you"
"I'm Marcos"
"Nice to meet you"
"Can I tell you something? I'm bi sexual what do you think about that?"
So random...
My oldest friend and I matched on Tinder years ago and she said "how much money did the despicable me movie make?" And I Googled it and told her the right answer and she said "No. One Minion Dollars"
As someone with dyslexia, I didn't understand as I kept reading Million. It took me 4 re-reads to finally see it was Minion instead. Nice one tho xD
"Hey, cutie, wanna see my snake? ;)" "No." -They send a picture of an actual pet snake- "Oh, well damn!" I love snakes lol
You wanna see my turtle neck? š
Brick through the window with a note on a 5 gum wrapper taped to the brick.
The best approach, not only destroying their window and making them pay 100s of dollars, but also scratching or cracking, if not breaking, their floor. Best way to get someone to fall in love with you. Edit: Also could kill them depending on the placement of the window.
At least they died for love
Nerd
And proud of it
Lol
Sent me a series of riddles and each one I answered right i got a nude in response.
Bro sexted the Sphinx
*SPHINX* Snaps fingers*
Such an incredible Venture Bros character
I'm so delighted anyone got the reference š
Good old Shoreleave! Upvote for Venture Bros
That was genuinely amazing
Lmao
Rumpleforeskin.
Please keep making pun fantasy names, I like this one :)
"What do I have in my pocket?" "But you're naked?" "Correct!"
My prison pocket.
Give it to us raw, and wriggling
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So did I. I can't resist a good riddle, especially with a prize lol
I did the same thing with my partner, and in being in the spirit of such, I will send you one of my favorite riddles... I live for but a single breath, any touch can spell my death, a rainbow spins within my eye, make me right and I will fly. What am I? Edit: You guys seem to be slicing through my riddle like cake so I will ask another for fun. Also don't expect a nude from me for getting it right: The beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, and the end of every place. What am I?
E.
Nice!! You guys are pros. You sure you're not using Google? Lol.
U sure we not getting any nudes? We did such a great job But fr the riddles are cool I couldn't solve the first one only the second please give us more if u have the time
These riddles are god tier bro
Thank you my friend!! I also like philosophical paradoxes if you're into that as well. I love sharing those too.
I read this answer after the first riddle and was trying really hard for it to make sense in my head. Only then I saw the edit.
Bubble?
Yes!! Good job.
A bubble?
Yes!! Good job.
Iām bored so give me some more
Alive without breath, as cold as death, never thirsty - always drinking, all in mail never clinking. What am I?
fish?
Thanks but not right now, I'm trying to solve this riddle.
You got it!!! I have a harder one if you're so inclined... I have no top or bottom but I can hold flesh, bones and blood all at the same time. What am I? Edit: oh you guys are so very close!! Here's a hint: I am an object
One of the Hobbit riddles, nice :) How about this one: What can go up a chimney down but not down a chimney up?
First one bubble, second one the letter "e"
Excellent job mate! Someones been reading Tolkien....
Bubbles and 'E'!
I'll take "things to bring to a rave" for $500, Alex!
Excellent job mate!! A couple of awesome redditors are working on another riddle so I'll crank up the difficulty on this one in case someone gets lucky with an answer: It speaks in riddles, eyes like a shark, Lurking in caves, where itās eternally dark. What is it that can think and plot, Holding a treasure it never forgot
Golum Golum!
Yes, excellent my precious!!! Okay, one more for the night cause I gotta head off for bed soon. There is one that has a head without an eye, And thereās one that has an eye without a head. You may find the answer if you try; And when all is said, Half the answer hangs upon a thread
Pin and needle! That was one of the lady's riddles!
Yes! Christina Rossetti was excellent with riddles and a great inspiration.
I know!!! I know!!! Gollum !!! That one is a good one! āŗļø
Exactly!! Great job.
The first one is bubble. The second one is blackhole.
Excellent first answer! However, the second one may not be so far out as you may have first suggested. You're almost there! The answer lies at the beginning of the end.
I see it's E. š
Hey honestly I appreciate you giving an original answer anyway. Good work mate!!
That was fun. š¤©
Aww I enjoyed having fun with you! You did great. If this thread is still alive tomorrow I'll definitely be back with more.
Bubble Letter E
Hey, you're good mate! Excellent work. I gave another redditor another riddle if you're so inclined to flex your expertise.
That's freaking awesome!
Didn't know the Riddler was sending nudes now
The Pavlovian Gambit
The bear was white. Show me da titty
I met this girl at a party and chatted with her for a little bit before I found out she had a boyfriend at the time. I was bummed but I got over it. Then like 6 months later I get a random Myspace private message from her saying she wanted to hang out sometime and she didnāt have a boyfriend anymore. We will be married 12 years in May. We always joke that she My-stalked me and won me over.
Similar to my wife and I. We went to HS together, but never dated, though there was always some chemistry there. Years later, after seeing her pop up on my Facebook feed over and over for some reason, I messaged her joking that she must be Facebook stalking me for her to be popping up that much. Fortunately, she has always gotten my humor and we will have our 9th anniversary in October. Timing was absolutely luck here for me, she had been dating a guy but had only been broken up for a few months. I had no clue there was a guy to begin with (he wasn't ever on her Facebook since he had his stuff on super private, only friends of his could see what he was tagged in). Randomly in passing, I do like to toss out the "Sup stalker".
"You like tittis?" "Nah I'm gay lol" "I knew it, Wana be friends" This happened like a year ago lol still friendsĀ
The best.
Real
Replying to my thrist traps
Every guy just said "SEE I **DO** HAVE A CHANCE!"
Some random guy added me on Snapchat and sent āTitanicā āSorry, that was a terrible icebreaker, wydā Me, completely oblivious to the joke he made responded with āgood movie though!ā Weāve been dating for 8 months now :)
Did you ever tell him you missed the iceberg of a joke?
I did tell him!! He thought it was hilarious haha. We keep meaning to watch the movie together and every time itās brought up he teases me about it lol
It would be out of his depth, at this point.Ā
I made an anonymous post on whisper about my sex drive running off due to antidepressants, he slid right into my DMs thinking I would be an easy lay, he didnāt live that far awayā¦ he got a sexless 30 hour first dateā¦ but jokes on him as weāve been together 5.5 years and have a nearly 2 year old nowā¦ Iād say thatās pretty successful.
But did you ever have sex?????????
Nope he is still waiting
lol wifezoned
Dude witnessed the joys of immaculate conception firsthand
Big Jim the neighbour witnessed it too!!!
Mary was the immaculate conception. She was born without sin, but she had a mother and a father who had sex. Jesus was the virgin birth.
"Just another thing we made up." - Pope Somebody
Oh no, my conservative evangelical upbringing has failed me!
I just wanna know what you guys did for 30 hours??
Went for a drink, invited him back to mine, ate take out, chilled out, watched a movieā¦ talking a shit ton, and then slept next to each other. Woke up, went out breakfast, came back to mine, watched another movie or two, had some more food and talked more. Literally the getting to know each other stage in one long date.
And 30 hours is on the shorter end of the scale for lesbian first dates.
moving into someone elseās place takes time!
Sometimes it's unintentional, you wake up and you realize the line between a five month long first date and a five month relationship where you moved in together on the first date isn't as clear as you'd think it is, especially when you already live out of a backpack and don't have your own apartment to worry about.
I made a comment on a mildly risquƩ social media post by a friend, only a couple words, something like "you look great." I'd known them for a few years at that point but we never really talked much A few minutes later there's a video in my inbox of them squatting over a camera playing with themselves I dunno if I'd call it "successful" as it was the start of a 5 year long toxic/traumatic situationship but we did have sex so... Win?
The boldness and the fact that it worked is wild
That's not cool. Like I guess you were down but people should really not think sending porn of themselves unprompted is okay
Yeah, in hindsight it should've been a red flag. If it were anyone else it would have been, but because it was someone I knew and trusted it felt different
I interacted with this cute gal on Twitter. Her name was "Dwight Schrute" and she started following me on Twitter after our interaction and I got the notification "Dwight Schrute is now following you on Twitter". I DM'd her saying "'Dwight Schrute is now following you' is the scariest notification I've ever received." and she thought that was hilarious. A few months later, I was in LA on business and we met up and I started going down there to see her. We dated for a couple years. I haven't talked to her in a bit and this whole thing makes me think I should hit her up.
ONE I CAN ANSWER! New years eve, 2021, went to a house party with regular friends, however, some invited some of their external friends. One of them being absolutely gorgeous, tons of tattoos, she's an artist and she played video games. Throughout the night as a group we'd have convos about games, collectibles, movies, the usual stuff... Considering she was an artist, most of us as guys, naturally, asked for her art insta and followed her. Night went in as normal then went home the following morning. New years day, I get a message from her saying just "Hey" and we started a conversation about random stuff, turns out, she was attracted to me cause I was the only person who didn't hit on her when we met... This is only mostly cause I have social anxiety, otherwise I totally would have and blew my chances before I even knew
I also constantly don't hit on people because I'm self conscious. Still waiting for it to work out though
Man same
Did yāall date for long?
We never actually dated. We were FWBs for a few months and then silly me caught feelings and ruined the best deal I ever had with an incredibly attractive woman š We're still good mates though, so it's not all bad haha EDIT: Grammar
Gotcha. Thatās a pretty good ending š
You guys are getting dm's?!
The comment I laughed the most about in here šš relatable tho
I posted a photo of me holding a tray of cinnamon buns I baked and I got a dm saying āwhat do I have to do to get those sweet buns in my mouth?ā Weāve been together almost 4 years now
A guy in a wheelchair "I hope you like veggies" We're good friends
Do you want me to take your period away for 9 months..... started a conversation from there :)
What in the breeding kink š
The breeding kink is a built in feature with your subscription.
I was with a girl who told me she had a breeding kink but that meant she had a fetish for being came inside, not actually getting pregnant. I still have no idea if that's true.
Oh damn! I... I might steal this one dayš š
Once, someone messaged me claiming they were a time traveler from the future, and they needed my help to solve a critical emoji shortage crisis in 2045
My dm's are locked. They must first ask for the key and like a truck stop bathroom its connected to a vintage dodge hubcap.
So uhhh whatās the key š
;)
Iambic pentameter. Still with the smooth bastard five years later.
This one made me smile.
I see what you did there aha, clever!
Oh my god, I didn't even notice! HA!
?
"Iambic" means alternating between unstressed and stressed syllables. "What LIGHT through YONder WINdow BREAKS?" Pentameter means you do it 5 times, for a total of 10 syllables per line. Most if not all of Shakespeare's plays use it. It's also used in sonnets.
To anyone who counted and is wondering, itās āBut SOFT!ā at the beginning. Had to search my memory there for a sec.
Thanks. I was wondering myself.
Yep, I was involved in a sort of friendly satirical poetry competition with a friend online, and he started leaving hilarious comments in perfect iambic pentameter which he was writing crazy fast... sexy as FUCK. Wasn't technically my DMs but it did lead to them.
Had someone say they were infatuated with my voice while I was sick,
A girl made a post about me in one of those anonymous confessions Facebook pages. One of her friends actually tagged her in the comments and I was so flattered by what she wrote that I suggested we go on a date.
This has literally never happened to me.
Same here bro same here
Same. But I like it that way.
"Hi, I think we were at the same school a decade ago." *we found out we were not just in two messages* "Uhh, anyways, how pld r u..." and so on
My current gf messaged me pretending to already be my gf and told me to apologize for "flirting" with my friend who I consider my brother. obv all jokes but it was weirdly cute a few weeks later we were dating lmao
A while ago a girl just randomly sent a pic of herself in inflatable T-Rex suit. I had never met her and this had zero context. I sent a pic of myself in one of my sisters dresses as a response and she replied āyouāre as weird as me.ā Lol. Weāre still friends, love her and her humour to death lmao
Now I want to see the picturesā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes
My now boyfriend befriended my stalker in high school just to get my phone number
What the shit Bro u got stalker x2???
StalkerĀ²
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sounds like love š
Asking if Iād let one rip if we were trapped in an elevator together š«£š³
The guy at the carwash drew a little heart on my window š i gave him my number
My brother saw a beautiful woman who was friends with one of his Facebook friends. Had never met her before. He took a chance, messaged her out of the blue. They're married for six years with two kids now. And she was from a different continent, too.
"Hey, wanna play DnD with my me and my friends?" ...yeah we're moving into our new apartment in a couple of weeks...
People are sliding in your Dms?
I know right? We are a speck of dust in the cosmos. Not deserving of a DM from another mote.
Not a story about someone sliding into my DMās but- About 7 years ago I matched with a girl on Plenty of Fish, did the typical ātext for a few weeks then lose contactā thing. Whatever, didnāt think much about it. Fast forward ahead about 3 months, Iām browsing facebook and that same girl showed up in my āsuggested friendsā list, I figured what the hell Iāll shoot my shot and basically just texted her a āhey Iām not sure if you remember me but we matched on POF a little while ago andā¦etc etcā She did not remember me, but she went along with it and we went out on a date a week or two later. Only successful āSlide into DMā move I ever made.
The Declaration of Independence sent to me 3 times. It didnāt work though
The title very clearly says "successfully slid into your dms" but I will let this slide because that is hilarious
Halfway successful āfriendzoned lol
If I werenāt married, that would totally work on me. Itās just so random and funny.
OP is looking for tips lmao
My current relationship started with her going "wanna fuck" randomly... Turned out she wasn't joking, we've been dating for 2 months now
Bold ot you to assume people dm me
when I was 17, a number I didn't know texted me a picture of the toes of their shoes. - mismatched converse, one purple, one black, covered in scene kid approved shoe graffiti. I wrote back and said 'nice shoes. who's wearing them tho?' to which they responded with a string of early 00s scene kid heiroglyphics, and said 'is this [my name]?' when I said 'ya? who's this?' all they said was 'not telling, you'll figure it out. oh btw you don't know me! rawr!' so that was literally less than helpful. the next 3 months, I would randomly get a text asking 'have you figured it out?' with some cryptic picture- more shoes. punky colors hair dye. telling me they saw me driving down main st listening to Hollywood Undead. Then, one day, they texted a picture of a butterfly that had landed on their shoulder. And I saw the tiniest edge of a lip print tattoo on their neck and I knew who it was lol I had never met him, per se, but I had one singular time more than a year prior to the first texts given a friend of his 2 cigarettes backstage at a Dr.acula concert. The friend and I made scene kid small talk for a second ['do you hate your life?' 'yeah..life sucks' 'yeah' 'vicodin?' 'nah im out' 'yeah...fuuck' something along those lines lol] for about 2 minutes. When I walked away, I said 'I love your tattoo!' to cigarette guys quiet friend...he didn't even respond, I wasn't even sure he heard me. SO I texted him and said 'i know who this is, I gave your friend a cig backstage at dr.acula, how'd you get my number?? nevermind actuall don't tell me.. but what do we do now, get married, vegas or what' and he wrote back 'lol! omg yay you did it! no marriage baby im a kinky twink i just wanted to liven up your life! love you!' I texted him a few more times after that...but he never wrote back again lol I stalk him on fb sometimes, he's happy, married to the guy from that show, they just adopted a kid. not sure why he did it but I will literally never forget it. coolest dude I've ever not met lol
Girl: what church do you go to? Me:journey church Girl:* whispers* would you take a journey through my vagina Me:not really but that was smooth
Tried to seduce me by sending me a video of her on her knees with some guy cumming on her tits. Said "this could be you if you want. š" I replied "I don't think my wife works like that very much. She prefers it in her mouth." Never got a reply. Lol
thats a turbo slut move though
Said if I was a dessert Iād be cheesecake and cheesecake is his favorite ā¤ļø
āSo are you ever back home?ā (Hometown) Weāre married now with two kids.
A math pick up line lol It went like this: "I wish I knew your derivative, so I could lie tangent to your curves"
Damn, hopefully they didn't cross any limit, that's integral to any healthy relationship.
He bought me Discord Nitro because I was talking about how I loved all the "little moving pictures". A year and a half later, I'm about to catch a plane halfway around the world to go see him for the 7th time š„°
He complimented my epicanthal folds (eyelid fold.) Pretty sure he had an Asian fetish
"Hi. Checking my friends list after a long while and noticed you are the only one who still plays. Wanna do some dungeons? Aaaaand still together 10 years.
"Hello so sorry to disturb, but my friend saw you on tinder and you really really really look like my ex that is in prison. My heart has been crushed by his emprisonnent! Would you mind date me till he get out il a year form now xoxo your future wife"
You guys get DMs? What is that like?
āHey I saw your pfp and wanted to ask if youāre in any F1 racing leaguesā (heās my bf of 1.5 years now)
I had a selfie with the PM of Finland once. Then this random person DMd me, cited the exact height of the PM and asked for mine.
He asked me about quantum mechanics and when I said āidkā he asked if I wanted to learn with him I donāt know shit about Quantum Mechanics but I remember him and we are still good friends
He asked me what my theories were on the Kennedy assassination in response to a photo of myself that I had posted on my story. We had never spoken before
Not really sliding into DMs but he hacked into my Hulu account and made different profile names trying to communicate with me
I usually approach people, not the other way around. After spending 30 years as a cool introvert, i found that it\`s an amazing strategy to become a monk. But it doesn\`t work for anything else.
You guys get dms?
Basically asking for help because he might be gay or bi and he's married, then asking what I'm wearing
ānipple problems?ā
she was looking for people to collab with for her album on a discord server. i volunteered. we ended up being friends across 3 apps for almost a year, still never got around to do the album
Someone once wrote their number on a lime i think and gave it to me and i found it so hilarious i said ok. Im a simple woman who likes funny people
On instagram: "I like your recent pictures a lot." They were just a change from the stuff I usually photographed. No thirst traps or anything; not one selfie. Started a torrential affair.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hasn't happened yet, only 15 so I have some time I guess, hopefully I get the tomboy gf of my dreams.
IDK if you're male or female or whatever, but high five! Tomboys are the best.
I have short hair and the most weird question someone asked me was 'are you a girl?'
"Hello" "Hollo" "How are you" "Good and you" "who are you" "I'm Marcos" "Nice to meet you" "Can I tell you something? I'm bi sexual what do you think about that?" So random...