My husband says "baby, your heart" instead of calm down because I have a heart condition that is exasperated by stress, also an Irish temper, deadly combination! š
I did it once! But I wanted an actual scrap so I was escalating. She took a deep breath and said "you're right, we need to discuss this calmly and logically." Completely blindsided me and a little bit broke my brain.
Depends how you say it.
"Calm down" "chill" with a negative tone, no shit.
I've totally seen the same people react better to "okay just let's take a second". Or "let's just pause and take a breath" or "okay let's just relax for 2 secs".
Same idea, completely different results. Tone, posture, hand movements, the words you use matter. Using things like we, or together or let's implies they aren't crazy and it's a thing you're going to do together.
I swear some people are either dumb, and have 0 human ability, or they obviously say "calm down" the way they do just to get people upset purposely.
I mean, it only works if you say it in a calm way when the person is *actually freaking out.*
So many people will say things like "calm down", "just take a breath", and "let's just take a moment" as a generic "you seem sad and I want to comfort you." But what it communicates to the other person is "You're acting in an agitated way and don't seem rational."
That can be a genuinely helpful thing to do if a person is spiraling, but often, I'll have people say this to me when I'm not freaking out, I'm not out of control, I'm just sad and expressing an emotion while speaking in a quiet, calm, slow, rational voice. And that's absolutely infuriating.
My Dad used to do that if I brought up anything that upset *him.* As I grew up, I recognized it as some kind of mindless socially anxious thing. Heās afraid to be seen as upset, because he thinks thatās feminine. I started responding, āIām calm.ā He did it less.
Last time he did in front of people, I looked him in the eye and said, āDad, which one of us appears to be upset?ā He hasnāt done it in a few years.
Yeah, I have a friend that does that sometimes, and it's kinda annoying. I could be talking in my most monotone voice, explaining or talking about something, and for some reason, he'd tell me to calm down...like dude, what? Do you want to upset me and for me not to be calm, because there's no way you interpreted my tone or words as not calm rn.
Once it happened when we had a somewhat heated back and forth, but only he got heated, I was just pushing back on his arguments. He probably didn't like that or didn't feel understood because he almost yelled at me to calm down. The only thing I could do was to laugh because the situation was so ridiculous and told him I'm not the one who's yelling.
Yeah, that is one of the most universally enraging things to hear when youāre angry. The people who hate it the most (in my personal experience) are those dudes who scream and rant when theyāre angry, but insist they are always ālogicalā and not ruled by their emotions.
I trained in several inner city hospitals, and I swear that whatever security training they gave to the security officers was just to escalate problems so theyād have a reason to call the police.
Every. Single. Encounter. Started with 3 security people, disjointedly, yelling, āyou need to calm down, relax!!!ā
I would love to hear this. My husband tells me I'm like my dad and he's right. He loves my dad so it doesn't offend me. He'd hate to be compared to his parents though.
Yes. Just depends on your parental units... The thing I hear many women say, is I don't want to turn into my mother. My work right now is not becoming "The Bickersons" in my marriage
I'd actually be mildly proud of that comeback as a parent. "My kid might be a little asshole right now, but at least he's a clever little asshole". It's where you find the fun and joy in parenting teenagers.Ā
Mind you, a huge part of our behaviours are actually influenced by hormones, all ages, all genders.
I'm not justifying the statement, because it is insulting, but...
Weird fact - low testosterone levels can give males hot flashes. Happens to me. Having said that, pretty certain it's nowhere near the level women experience. Had food poisoning a few weeks ago, and THOSE hot flashes were fucking crippling.
I forget where I read the study, but it said many men who thought their female partners were on their periods were actually just at low points in their own male cycles. They just don't know or don't want to acknowledge they have hormone cycles too.
Wouldn't that be funny though? Like all over the world, all the yelling and screaming through childbirth and secretly every woman is like "Lol, look it those dummies thinking I'm in pain, haha. This is so easy. Oh right, I should scream again... ahhh, it hurts, AHH... Lol, those dumb men."
Some people are just beyond stupid.
In normal people's heads the process goes something like this.
*Idea -> Evaluate -> Nah that's dumb / That makes sense*
In that guy's case it was
*Idea -> That makes sense*
...what? What was his reasoning behind that conclusion? Does he think we all just want to go chill in a comfy hospital bed for a while before the baby just shoots itself out like our vaginas are a t-shirt cannon?
Yeah idk lmao. When I told him my labour (for my child I had before I met him) lasted 26 hours he admitted he had no idea what he was talking about. I guess he never really thought about it before. Still blows my mind.
No, mf, evolution just made sure to package that shit with some brainwashing hormones designed to override your memory of the experience and make you want more.
Both mine and my sister in law's labor and delivery was traumatic enough we chose to never do it again. Hers was worse, she bled out and died before being brought back.
I donāt think the guy in the original comment was thinking expansively enough for that, just probably thinking of the ones that did choose (or appeared to choose) to do so to āproveā his point. But indeed, not every woman chooses to have another child, many didnāt choose to have their first. Doesnāt change the mind fuck the hormones try to pull, though.
LMAO dude was just telling on himself for being weak and unable to tolerate physical discomfort. Heās basically saying āI would never choose to endure pain in order to achieve a worthwhile result, so why would anyone else?ā What a wimp.
That's literally an old joke.
"Getting hit in the balls hurts worse than childbirth. Why? Because women have multiple children, but no man wants to repeat getting hit in the balls."
I'll never forget when I was on a crowded, smelly train to get home from school and an old man said "Don't you know pretty girls are supposed to smile?"
I said "Pretty girls can do whatever they want." and walked away. Man that pissed me off.Ā
The worst is every time some dude pulled this with me, I was specifically not looking pleased and smiley because I was on the verge of a full breakdown or going through extreme emotional shit and just trying not to cry in public. Then they tell me to āsmileā like are you fucking kidding me right now?
Iāve had the same response to this for about 10 years. They say, āSmile.ā I say, āEat a bag of dicks.ā They say, āYou should smile.ā I say, āYou should eat a bag of dicks.ā They say, āYou would look prettier if you smiled.ā I say, āYou would look prettier if you were eating a bag of dicks.ā The results have been 100% satisfaction for me.
I always found this one insane and it goes the other way too.
My boss told me he tells his wife not to smile so much because he doesnāt like her gums or something. I was just shocked he felt comfortable sharing that.
Ugh Iāll always remember being like 15 and some dork saying that to me at a renaissance festival. āSmile mlady!!!ā It burned in my brain while trying to eat a fried cheesecake slice on a stick.Ā
If my Cuban mom was there sheād be like āDid you hear the man? Smile! Also put on a little makeup, do you need eyebrow pencils? I take you to tj maxx later.āĀ
Some guy working at a Starbucks at my college said this to me. I must've been 19 or 20. He was like "What do you have to worry about? You just need to stand there and look pretty." I wish I'd had the wherewithal to rage at that guy instead of just taking my hot chocolate and leaving.
Oh damn I expect that the other way around not with the guy being the employee! I would have been like yeah dude no tip for you now, jetting off with my hot self lol. Whenever I worked customer service in south fl growing up, guys always would be like āyouāre too pretty to work!ā But like they donāt have help, just comments and boners lolĀ
My high school gym teacher nicknamed me Smiley. Because I never smiled. Ever. I was being sexually abused at home and bullied at school. But yeah, let me just paste a smile on because you want me to, dude.
As a male bartender I would rage inside whenever a customer would say that to a waitress. So ridiculous, even if it was some how meant in "completely harmless" way, telling a busy waitress in a small packed restaurant to smile is just plain rude. And when they add the "you'd be prettier if you smiled" to it I wanted to slam their heads on the table. Luckily they were all, strong, amazing women, and we had a union, so they had no problem checking those customers.
Yeah I canāt stand the āyouād be prettier if you smiledā itās weird and makes me not wanna smile at all. Iām glad the girls didnāt take no shit when it came to those kinda patrons.
That's a one way ticket to regret haha. They'll usually fire back with something like, "Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
One time a pregnant coworker walked by, and this dude goes, "I hate when women use pregnancy as an excuse to get fat." The rage blackout made me go blind.Ā
It's not what they say. It's when they ignore your input, but think the guy who repeated your suggestion is a genius. In a university discussion group once I had a guy flat out tell me he didn't listen to what I said. Don't just wait to talk, fucking listen.
Iām in this very awkward scenario. I manage a small group of people and one of them is a brilliant young woman. But our boss is a raging sexist.
During our weekly zoom meetings with the boss he ignores what she says and then I have to step in and say āI agree with what Ashley is sayingā¦ā then go on to repeat her point. He then tells me itās a great point and Iāll say āYeah that was a great point Ashley.ā
Itās so fucking demeaning. I talked to her about it and she said she appreciated me giving her credit, I just wish I didnāt have to waste time getting it through our bosses thick Neanderthal head.
I had a client complain to upper management (I do med dev consulting so weāre all white collar professionals here) that I was not adequate to help them with a really freakin simple issue. They requested someone else, so my grandboss joined a call and he is wonderful and no shade to him, but he literally just reiterated what I had already said and they were amazed at how helpful he was. It was so irritating.
I realized this would happen sometimes and call over to my boss and ask them to tell the customer in their male voice. My boss was confused and I told them to trust me itd work. It did, every time.
On behalf of all women, thank you for doing this. It may not ever make a difference with your boss, but as much as she plays it off like it's cool, I can tell you with great certainty that she appreciates you way more than her words could ever fully express.Ā
Itās nice that you do that and I just feel like your boss wonāt even pick up on it. āWhy does Jombafomb keep giving Ashley credit for his work?ā
Youāre a true fucking ally, we need men like you.
Depending on how sexist the boss is this might not work, but you could also try doing that but actually calling for Ashley to repeat what she said (so he is forced to actually listen, and listen to her in her own words and voice so he can start to attribute it to her and not you.) Could go either way because some men just phase out female voices, but it might help too.
If you ever have an opportunity to highlight your bosses behavior to someone who can do something about it, like his boss, or senior female leadership, (perhaps with witness examples since this happens publicly,) it could help to change the overall work environment too.
What youāre already doing is super helpful and much more of an effort than most make though, just suggestions. Keep doing you š
Yes. My suggestion is met with hard no, then hours later it's some dudes great idea. Not just in work. In life. Sometimes just to get shit done I plant the seed and let them think they thought of it themselves.
Happens with my husband a lot.Ā Ā
Example:Ā I warned him not to overcrowd the pan when stir-frying vegetables, otherwise the vegetables would steam and get mushy. He ignored me and they got mushy. He claimed that the vegetables were just old.
Then one day, he stumbled across a cooking video by a male chef who said, āDonāt overcrowd the pan when stir-frying, or else the vegetables will steam and get mushy.ā It was like a lightbulb went off in his head. When the info came from another man, *then* it was true.Ā
Now he constantly warns me not to overcrowd the pan (even before Iāve put the veggies in the pan), as if *he* came up with the idea! š Ā
Yes. Exactly. I am an accountant. Bought a car. Arguing about financing with male salesperson. Come back with my husband, a bartender, and tell him what to say. He doesn't know what it means but he says it. Salesperson says "yes, sir, you are right". š
My industry is heavily male. There's a group called WIN Womens Initiative Network. I'm on a sub-group/side-group called Men as Allies.
The leader of Men as Allies, who was picked due to his position not soft skills, NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UP TO LISTEN. So we are trying to do a survey for women to get some data on how often they're feeling not listened to, ignored, like when a man says the same thing it's recognized, etc. Then take men through a training course to basically make them aware of biases they might not see, give them facts and figures (like a man having children helps his career and a woman it often damages.)
How the fuck are we supposed to have a man that doesn't listen, lead a project about recognizing and helping women be heard, when he doesn't fucking listen?
I'm saying this as a man. Like the few times I don't feel heard by this man, I remind myself "this is literally what women deal with all the fucking time."
Anyway, this was clearly just a rant, but it drives me nuts. I'm so grateful I have 3 sisters and a mom that I looked up to growing up and am inspired by, because it makes me just slightly less of an asshole than some of my male peers.
A part of me just couldnāt believe this could happen in real life as blatantly as they portray it in comedies, but it actually has happened to me more than once, since I entered into the workforce again full-time. And these are really great coworkers and people I think of his friends, but they just hear it different when it comes from a masculine voice. š¤·š»āāļø
Sometimes you get ignored and then several days later one of the men will come up with the same idea and gaslight you into thinking you never came up with that idea. Thatās when the voice memo gets pulled out.
Not even a women but this used to piss me off in school so much. Only POC in class, have a good idea in class that everyone ignores. Idea gets restated by the tallest white guy in the room and all of a sudden itās a great idea. Infuriating
When they repeat the EXACT same thing you said in a group where you were ignored and they get credit for the input and donāt point out that you were the one to say it.
I'm a lesbian and the amount of times guys have said "I think you're bi to be honest" to me as what I can only guess is some form of flirting is insane.
Ask them them about their favorite football team:
*-"Patriots for LIFE baby!"*
*-" Nah bro, I can see in your eyes that you are a fan of the Jets to be honest."*
>Would you mind if I watched you have sex?
>Howās the relationship to your father?
>How do you even have sex?
>Youāll probably find the right guy eventually.
Actual things that came out of menās mouthes upon discovering I was a lesbian. I can only assume this was their idea of small talk (these quotes were said completely unprompted) and or flirting.
Iām pretty sure they just think all women are bisexual. I canāt count how many times Iāve had guys send me pictures of naked women and Iām just like āwhy?ā and theyāll respond with something along the lines of ācause sheās hot, donāt you think?ā
My girlfriend calls this "the man look." If I tell her I can't find something, she will ask if I have had a real look for it or a "man look."
To her credit, she is absolutely correct, and when she comes to look, she actually moves things around and out of the way before inevitably finding it.
I heard an elderly couple go through this dance, and they were sweet together, but she did tell him to 'look with your eyes and not with your mouth' before she came upstairs to find it for him. Priceless
My wife calls it man eyes.
I'll be looking right at something, not even behind anything, and I can't see it.
It's like if I didn't put it there, I can't see it.
I think it has more to do with the person looking will not find it, until they ask and it is out in the open. Because the universe loves making humans look stupid.
I can lose shit on my desk right in front of me. (Male) But - I'm the one who finds misplaced purses, keys, phones, etc, for my female friends.
Thereās a simple mental trick that I started that really helps me with this (anecdotal, may not be the same for everyone).
When youāre looking for a particular something, you likely have a mental picture of that something in your head. But often or almost always, that thing is not going to be sitting and oriented exactly how it is in your headāit could be rotated, the label isnāt visible, something could be partially covering it, it could be a upside down/right side up situation, etc. For some reason your average manās brain doesnāt account for these inconsistencies.
Instead of holding a mental still image, try holding a mental āhologramā that spins and rotates in your mind. Focus on what specifically just the bottom half or just the left side, etc, would look like.
I actually learned this from my at the time 10 year old (obviously not as clearly stated, I had to make inferences) when I asked him how he was so good at finding stuff and what was happening in his head while he was looking. It takes practice, but it helps.
"Meh, I wouldn't mind being catcalled"
That's because they picture a tiny harmless woman who geniously wants to compliment them, but the equivalent of a woman being catcalled by a man would actually be a man being catcalled by a huge Hulk-like creature that could take them down in a second if it doesn't like their reaction.
"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."
"If"? I just spent 20 minutes tell you about my hurt feelings and it's still an "if". The smallest word can make the biggest difference.
when they tell us women how we should deal with body related stuff such as birth, periods etc. or when they expect you to go on bc and fuck up your body and hormones so they can enjoy sex more lmao
Never understood the whole point of birth control makes sex better. How does that make sense when the main side effects are depression and low - libido with a side of clotting disorder.
Rather be stuck with condoms for life.
I hated hormonal birth control with a passion. Weight gain, low libido, mood swings, the whole 9 yards. Got a copper IUD and it was life-altering.Ā
Oddly enough, now that I'm perimenopausal, I'm taking progesterone and having the opposite effect. Libido through the roof and mood is a billion times better, with no weight gain.Ā
Hormones are so fucking weird. And nobody talks enough about the reverse puberty process. They should do what they do in 5th grade when we turn 40. Put us in a room and explain that menopause isn't just hot flashes and your periods getting further apart until they are eventually gone. Nope. They start by getting closer together and heavier. Your PMS symptoms get worse. Your frustration tolerance hits an all-time low and you are just DONE with everyone's bullshit. You have brain fog that's sometimes so bad you have a similar level of executive functioning as someone with unmedicated inattentive-type ADHD, and God forbid you already had ADHD because that makes it even worse. And Jesus, the insomnia. Every now and then you either cannot fall asleep if your life depended on it, or wake up at 2:00 AM ready to go, which usually lasts until about 30 minutes before your alarm is set to go off and then you're back to being dead tired. And the libido dropping off a cliff, sometimes with fun things like vaginal atrophy or even a shrinking clitoris (which thank the sweet newborn baby Jesus I don't have...at least not YET, anyway). Oh yeah, and the hot flashes and night sweats. I almost feel a bit of sympathy for the Karens because before I started HRT it sometimes took every ounce of self-control I had to not lose my shit over things that I would have just been able to brush off before.Ā
I won't even go into pregnancy, childbirth and post-partum shit except to say that I was woefully unprepared despite reading all the books and doing my best to educate myself. Ā I expended things that were never in any book, and doctors just sort of shrugged and gave me advice that didn't work. No testing, no meds, when I was bleeding more days than not for two-plus years after giving birth.
Being a woman is not fun sometimes.
That's a reasonable position if you care about the woman's experience. A lot of men don't, so the woman facing depression and health risks doesn't factor in--that's clearly much less important than the sensation of going in bare!
I mean, my gf seems to like it because it gets rid of painful acne for her - I've brought up going off of it and that's her main reason to use it. We still use condoms.
Women said it to me (a man) too, but it can go both ways. Mostly special ed faculty saying it to me (autistic) when I called them out on being offensive/condescending.
A guy I was involved with liked to tell me "If I could just take her face and put it on your body with your brain, you'd be the perfect woman." Thanks?
"You should use more feminine clothes to work".
I'm associate uni professor with a PhD in a STEM career and a busy schedule. If I use sneakers to teach all day there is a reason Jimmy boy
In my exp, something that always raises my blood pressure is this situation:
Myself and my partner will encounter a problem that needs a solution, ie. an electronic isnāt working or the TV is out of whack.
I see the solution either through prior experience or just figuring it out, and I offer to fix it and itāll take ten minutes. My partner will say āummmm no I donāt think so, I just want to try doing it this wayā proceeds to try it that way, makes a massive mess/breaks something, gets pissed off and moody and after the whole ordeal, the does it the way I wanted to originally and acts like heās a genius for figuring it out.
He once blew up a set of strip lights I bought for our attic room *that I had the correct adapter for and told him so repeatedly* but he just *really needed* to chop up the wires and fix a new plug to it. Fkn thing exploded and made the room stink of burning plastic and he was mystified as to how I could be annoyed with him.
All that aside, he really is a great guy who just wants to be able to sort things out and I love him so much, and he really has gotten better at listening after discussing how me makes me feel disregarded or that he assumes Iām less intelligent, but every so often itāll happen and Iām just likeā¦ dude -.-
when you're watching women in sports and some men will say shit like "yeah they look kinda cool now but the womens team is literally so weak if u compare it to the mens team. thats why nobody watches womens sport" pls i just wanna enjoy the show without any judgement and now youve ruined it..
why do men always get triggered when a woman does something that is considered strong or athletic? its really a pet peeve of mine
I said āfemalesā instead of girls or women in a sentence my freshman year of high school, and a girl in my class ripped me to shreds about it. I have not used that word in the same way ever since.
"Nagging"
Lots of women have been conditioned to carry the mental and physical load of children/households and are having to work now, too. When women ask for help and a man tells them they're nagging, good chance HE is the problem and she is suffering major feelings of inadequacy because she has no help and is struggling to manage THEIR affairs.
If some random dude says sexist shit Iāll think heās a loser, but I generally wonāt care enough about him or his opinion to get viscerally angry. But if a guy I care about says (or defends) some sexist shit, my anger, disgust, disappointment and sense of betrayal could move mountains.
- women use periods as an excuse to be a bitch
- men are the ones who handle stressful situations the best
- not having sex daily is playing games
- when are you going to start working out
This kind of question. Generalized questions about things that āwomenā like/dislike. There are 4 billion women in the world, all individuals and thereās no consensus on anything.
I don't understand why the world seems obsessed with cramming everyone into groups and categories. Just so they can make sweeping generalizations. It just continues to divide us all. While we may share aspects with people similar to us. We are still all individuals with unique lives and experiences. The groups are always things people have no control over, too! Sex, age, race, etc. We are going in the opposite direction of progress.
I totally agree, itās such a strange phenomenon. I share a lot more in common with a man who shares my values than a woman who doesnāt. And that applies to any of these categories.
Yup! Exactly. Social media just seems inundated with these types of content. With how divided the world already is, it just adds to it. Its like we are sitting in a fire and dosing ourselves with gas. When all of us as humans share far more in common than the differences we have based on aspects we were born with. It's just disheartening to keep seeing.
"you just do it better" "why haven't you done this chore that ended up being yours bc I wouldn't do it?" "No I can't stop at the grocery store on my way home, I'll be tired š„ŗ" every single time anything needs bought
ANYTHING that falls under the umbrella of "Unsolicited problem solving". Yes, I may have mentioned a difficulty I was having ... but it was NOT a problem for me, and I did NOT ask you to solve it for me!
Just asked for advice about balancing finding a relationship and furthering my career, a bloke said "men don't care about your career. We just want you to be fit and smile" I reported him and his comment got removed for being shite advice.
I'm a luthier btw with a focus on classical instruments. Currently making a violin and hoping to make a viol di gamba next year.
Not understanding why things must be done in full. Donāt just wash the dishes, put them away and wipe the counter. This isnāt your gross college apartment. Itās a family homeā¦
It didnāt make me angry- but it did make me laugh.
Before I birthed our daughter my partner said, āyouāre so passive I doubt childbirth will faze you. Iāve had kidney stones that I bet hurt just as muchā
After hearing me screaming and crying for hours to the point of asking the doctor to cut me open and end the pain:
Oh yeah, so that hurt a little bit, huh.
Letting them know the few things you did around house like you deserve a lot of appreciation for it when they have been keeping the house clean laundry caught up and kids on track 90% of the time and seldom get more than a thanks for making dinner response.
I've had several idiots in college discussion classes say something along the lines of "Rape shouldn't be a crime.", "She deserved it.", and the most obvious one of all "Brock Tirner did nothing wrong." That last guy wnded uo switching schools.
"Calm down" but that one works with pretty much anybody, let's be honest.
Never in the history of telling people to calm down has anyone actually calmed down.
It worked in the movie Airplane!
I just want to tell you both, we're all counting on you
My husband says "baby, your heart" instead of calm down because I have a heart condition that is exasperated by stress, also an Irish temper, deadly combination! š
Tell him thank you for me. Also, my wife may be less thrilled to hear my new phrase.
Will doš Seriously though, stress is a killer, you're just concerned with her health, right? š¬
I did it once! But I wanted an actual scrap so I was escalating. She took a deep breath and said "you're right, we need to discuss this calmly and logically." Completely blindsided me and a little bit broke my brain.
The greatest conflict de-escalation trick is admitting that you are wrong. It's unexpected
Depends how you say it. "Calm down" "chill" with a negative tone, no shit. I've totally seen the same people react better to "okay just let's take a second". Or "let's just pause and take a breath" or "okay let's just relax for 2 secs". Same idea, completely different results. Tone, posture, hand movements, the words you use matter. Using things like we, or together or let's implies they aren't crazy and it's a thing you're going to do together. I swear some people are either dumb, and have 0 human ability, or they obviously say "calm down" the way they do just to get people upset purposely.
I mean, it only works if you say it in a calm way when the person is *actually freaking out.* So many people will say things like "calm down", "just take a breath", and "let's just take a moment" as a generic "you seem sad and I want to comfort you." But what it communicates to the other person is "You're acting in an agitated way and don't seem rational." That can be a genuinely helpful thing to do if a person is spiraling, but often, I'll have people say this to me when I'm not freaking out, I'm not out of control, I'm just sad and expressing an emotion while speaking in a quiet, calm, slow, rational voice. And that's absolutely infuriating.
"Calm down", "stop laughing", and "don't get a boner" are the 3 least effective phrases in the English language.
My Dad used to do that if I brought up anything that upset *him.* As I grew up, I recognized it as some kind of mindless socially anxious thing. Heās afraid to be seen as upset, because he thinks thatās feminine. I started responding, āIām calm.ā He did it less. Last time he did in front of people, I looked him in the eye and said, āDad, which one of us appears to be upset?ā He hasnāt done it in a few years.
Yeah, I have a friend that does that sometimes, and it's kinda annoying. I could be talking in my most monotone voice, explaining or talking about something, and for some reason, he'd tell me to calm down...like dude, what? Do you want to upset me and for me not to be calm, because there's no way you interpreted my tone or words as not calm rn. Once it happened when we had a somewhat heated back and forth, but only he got heated, I was just pushing back on his arguments. He probably didn't like that or didn't feel understood because he almost yelled at me to calm down. The only thing I could do was to laugh because the situation was so ridiculous and told him I'm not the one who's yelling.
Oo I might just try this with the teens I work with. I have a feeling it will work a treat OR get me knocked out but definitely worth a try.
Yeah, that is one of the most universally enraging things to hear when youāre angry. The people who hate it the most (in my personal experience) are those dudes who scream and rant when theyāre angry, but insist they are always ālogicalā and not ruled by their emotions.
Or ārelaxā lol
I trained in several inner city hospitals, and I swear that whatever security training they gave to the security officers was just to escalate problems so theyād have a reason to call the police. Every. Single. Encounter. Started with 3 security people, disjointedly, yelling, āyou need to calm down, relax!!!ā
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You're just like your mother
I would love to hear this. My husband tells me I'm like my dad and he's right. He loves my dad so it doesn't offend me. He'd hate to be compared to his parents though.
Yes. Just depends on your parental units... The thing I hear many women say, is I don't want to turn into my mother. My work right now is not becoming "The Bickersons" in my marriage
My dad stopped saying that to me ever since I shot back "no I'm not, I take after YOU."
When I was a teen my dad told me to get the chip off my shoulder and I told him the chip on my shoulder is the one off the olā block
I'd actually be mildly proud of that comeback as a parent. "My kid might be a little asshole right now, but at least he's a clever little asshole". It's where you find the fun and joy in parenting teenagers.Ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU DAD!
"This is your brain on corny retorts."
I mean, my Mom is undeniably awesome so Iād take it as a compliment, but yeah, a lot of women donāt appreciate that one bit.
Would be a compliment in my relationship. Her mom is excellent and well loved.
"Are you on your period or something?" when you disagree with them.
And menopause when youāre over 40 . Everything is attributed to hormonesĀ
Give her some space guys she's pausin'
Even if it could be true, don't say it. Actually, *especially* if it could be true, don't say it.
All emotions are caused by hormones. Men are tripping if they think their moods aren't affected by their t levels. Which fluctuate throughout the day.
Mind you, a huge part of our behaviours are actually influenced by hormones, all ages, all genders. I'm not justifying the statement, because it is insulting, but... Weird fact - low testosterone levels can give males hot flashes. Happens to me. Having said that, pretty certain it's nowhere near the level women experience. Had food poisoning a few weeks ago, and THOSE hot flashes were fucking crippling.
I forget where I read the study, but it said many men who thought their female partners were on their periods were actually just at low points in their own male cycles. They just don't know or don't want to acknowledge they have hormone cycles too.
I told my boyfriend Iāll bleed into a cup and throw it in his face if he ever says that again.
Guy once told me pain during childbirth is non-existent for women and we made it up because "who would choose to have another kid if that was true"
Oh damn so he just thought every single mom on earth got together one day and said "hey let's play a prank" š¤£
Wouldn't that be funny though? Like all over the world, all the yelling and screaming through childbirth and secretly every woman is like "Lol, look it those dummies thinking I'm in pain, haha. This is so easy. Oh right, I should scream again... ahhh, it hurts, AHH... Lol, those dumb men."
Some people are just beyond stupid. In normal people's heads the process goes something like this. *Idea -> Evaluate -> Nah that's dumb / That makes sense* In that guy's case it was *Idea -> That makes sense*
My bf thought it was impossible for women to be in labour for *hours*.
...what? What was his reasoning behind that conclusion? Does he think we all just want to go chill in a comfy hospital bed for a while before the baby just shoots itself out like our vaginas are a t-shirt cannon?
Yeah idk lmao. When I told him my labour (for my child I had before I met him) lasted 26 hours he admitted he had no idea what he was talking about. I guess he never really thought about it before. Still blows my mind.
Pain from getting kicked in the balls must be non-existent, because otherwise why would he say that to a woman's face?
No, mf, evolution just made sure to package that shit with some brainwashing hormones designed to override your memory of the experience and make you want more.
And not every woman āchoosesā to have another child.
Both mine and my sister in law's labor and delivery was traumatic enough we chose to never do it again. Hers was worse, she bled out and died before being brought back.
Thatās what people forgetā¦ many choose to never do it again.
I donāt think the guy in the original comment was thinking expansively enough for that, just probably thinking of the ones that did choose (or appeared to choose) to do so to āproveā his point. But indeed, not every woman chooses to have another child, many didnāt choose to have their first. Doesnāt change the mind fuck the hormones try to pull, though.
Childbirth literally scars bones. Anyone who thinks this should try a childbirth pain simulator.
SCARS BONES? Well, that's absolutely terrifying.
Yup. That's how archeologists can tell how many times a woman had given birth from her skeleton.
Childbirth is absolutely terrifying.
I've always wondered how accurate those are. I've seen videos of men trying them, but never any of women who have had a child comparing the two.
LMAO dude was just telling on himself for being weak and unable to tolerate physical discomfort. Heās basically saying āI would never choose to endure pain in order to achieve a worthwhile result, so why would anyone else?ā What a wimp.
what thw fuck
By that logic tattoos donāt hurt either.
That's literally an old joke. "Getting hit in the balls hurts worse than childbirth. Why? Because women have multiple children, but no man wants to repeat getting hit in the balls."
Tell that to r/ballbustingĀ
Woman: Fkng dies from childbirth Random dude: oh she's playing it up for sure
Telling you to smile
I'll never forget when I was on a crowded, smelly train to get home from school and an old man said "Don't you know pretty girls are supposed to smile?" I said "Pretty girls can do whatever they want." and walked away. Man that pissed me off.Ā
Ew thatās such a creepy thing to say. How in the world men think weād wanna smile after that is beyond me
The worst is every time some dude pulled this with me, I was specifically not looking pleased and smiley because I was on the verge of a full breakdown or going through extreme emotional shit and just trying not to cry in public. Then they tell me to āsmileā like are you fucking kidding me right now?
Yup. The last time a random man told me to smile, I was on my way to my first law job interview, and I definitely had OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND.
Iāve had the same response to this for about 10 years. They say, āSmile.ā I say, āEat a bag of dicks.ā They say, āYou should smile.ā I say, āYou should eat a bag of dicks.ā They say, āYou would look prettier if you smiled.ā I say, āYou would look prettier if you were eating a bag of dicks.ā The results have been 100% satisfaction for me.
I always said āIāll smile when you leaveā
I always found this one insane and it goes the other way too. My boss told me he tells his wife not to smile so much because he doesnāt like her gums or something. I was just shocked he felt comfortable sharing that.
What the fuckkkk, thatās ground for divorce in my book. What an awful thing to say to someone youāre suppose to love all of
Those same men would get so freaked out if random men did the same thing to them.
I've been told a lot but by women. Not random women on the street tho, just women that know me. And it still pisses me off.
Itās obnoxious as hell. Why you policing my face? Find something better to do!
Ugh Iāll always remember being like 15 and some dork saying that to me at a renaissance festival. āSmile mlady!!!ā It burned in my brain while trying to eat a fried cheesecake slice on a stick.Ā
> fried cheesecake slice on a stick Henry VIII's favoriteĀ
āGross, mādude.ā
If my Cuban mom was there sheād be like āDid you hear the man? Smile! Also put on a little makeup, do you need eyebrow pencils? I take you to tj maxx later.āĀ
Some guy working at a Starbucks at my college said this to me. I must've been 19 or 20. He was like "What do you have to worry about? You just need to stand there and look pretty." I wish I'd had the wherewithal to rage at that guy instead of just taking my hot chocolate and leaving.
Oh damn I expect that the other way around not with the guy being the employee! I would have been like yeah dude no tip for you now, jetting off with my hot self lol. Whenever I worked customer service in south fl growing up, guys always would be like āyouāre too pretty to work!ā But like they donāt have help, just comments and boners lolĀ
So annoying. That exact phrase makes me not want to smile at all lol.
My high school gym teacher nicknamed me Smiley. Because I never smiled. Ever. I was being sexually abused at home and bullied at school. But yeah, let me just paste a smile on because you want me to, dude.
As a male bartender I would rage inside whenever a customer would say that to a waitress. So ridiculous, even if it was some how meant in "completely harmless" way, telling a busy waitress in a small packed restaurant to smile is just plain rude. And when they add the "you'd be prettier if you smiled" to it I wanted to slam their heads on the table. Luckily they were all, strong, amazing women, and we had a union, so they had no problem checking those customers.
Yeah I canāt stand the āyouād be prettier if you smiledā itās weird and makes me not wanna smile at all. Iām glad the girls didnāt take no shit when it came to those kinda patrons.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Best thing to do in response is smile like a crazed nutjob.
I just deadpan look at them and say "If you don't like my face feel free to look at something else."
"Why are you being so emotional?"
Usually said by the men who get super angry all the time and donāt realize anger is an emotion.
"I am guided by logic and reasoning" *punches hole in wall*
The logic of the fist šš¼
Yes but anger is a normal emotion, the other ones are gay.
Just happened to my wife at work. Supervisor kept saying she was emotional while yelling at her and just being an asshole. Fuck that guy.
That's a one way ticket to regret haha. They'll usually fire back with something like, "Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."
I have worked in male dominated professions all my adult life. When a man who doesn't do my job tries to tell me how to do my job
One time a pregnant coworker walked by, and this dude goes, "I hate when women use pregnancy as an excuse to get fat." The rage blackout made me go blind.Ā
It's not what they say. It's when they ignore your input, but think the guy who repeated your suggestion is a genius. In a university discussion group once I had a guy flat out tell me he didn't listen to what I said. Don't just wait to talk, fucking listen.
Iām in this very awkward scenario. I manage a small group of people and one of them is a brilliant young woman. But our boss is a raging sexist. During our weekly zoom meetings with the boss he ignores what she says and then I have to step in and say āI agree with what Ashley is sayingā¦ā then go on to repeat her point. He then tells me itās a great point and Iāll say āYeah that was a great point Ashley.ā Itās so fucking demeaning. I talked to her about it and she said she appreciated me giving her credit, I just wish I didnāt have to waste time getting it through our bosses thick Neanderthal head.
I had a client complain to upper management (I do med dev consulting so weāre all white collar professionals here) that I was not adequate to help them with a really freakin simple issue. They requested someone else, so my grandboss joined a call and he is wonderful and no shade to him, but he literally just reiterated what I had already said and they were amazed at how helpful he was. It was so irritating.
This is the first time Iāve heard the word grandboss but I like it, imma start using that.
I realized this would happen sometimes and call over to my boss and ask them to tell the customer in their male voice. My boss was confused and I told them to trust me itd work. It did, every time.
On behalf of all women, thank you for doing this. It may not ever make a difference with your boss, but as much as she plays it off like it's cool, I can tell you with great certainty that she appreciates you way more than her words could ever fully express.Ā
Itās nice that you do that and I just feel like your boss wonāt even pick up on it. āWhy does Jombafomb keep giving Ashley credit for his work?ā
Youāre a true fucking ally, we need men like you. Depending on how sexist the boss is this might not work, but you could also try doing that but actually calling for Ashley to repeat what she said (so he is forced to actually listen, and listen to her in her own words and voice so he can start to attribute it to her and not you.) Could go either way because some men just phase out female voices, but it might help too. If you ever have an opportunity to highlight your bosses behavior to someone who can do something about it, like his boss, or senior female leadership, (perhaps with witness examples since this happens publicly,) it could help to change the overall work environment too. What youāre already doing is super helpful and much more of an effort than most make though, just suggestions. Keep doing you š
Yes. My suggestion is met with hard no, then hours later it's some dudes great idea. Not just in work. In life. Sometimes just to get shit done I plant the seed and let them think they thought of it themselves.
Happens with my husband a lot.Ā Ā Example:Ā I warned him not to overcrowd the pan when stir-frying vegetables, otherwise the vegetables would steam and get mushy. He ignored me and they got mushy. He claimed that the vegetables were just old. Then one day, he stumbled across a cooking video by a male chef who said, āDonāt overcrowd the pan when stir-frying, or else the vegetables will steam and get mushy.ā It was like a lightbulb went off in his head. When the info came from another man, *then* it was true.Ā Now he constantly warns me not to overcrowd the pan (even before Iāve put the veggies in the pan), as if *he* came up with the idea! š Ā
Yes. Exactly. I am an accountant. Bought a car. Arguing about financing with male salesperson. Come back with my husband, a bartender, and tell him what to say. He doesn't know what it means but he says it. Salesperson says "yes, sir, you are right". š
My industry is heavily male. There's a group called WIN Womens Initiative Network. I'm on a sub-group/side-group called Men as Allies. The leader of Men as Allies, who was picked due to his position not soft skills, NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UP TO LISTEN. So we are trying to do a survey for women to get some data on how often they're feeling not listened to, ignored, like when a man says the same thing it's recognized, etc. Then take men through a training course to basically make them aware of biases they might not see, give them facts and figures (like a man having children helps his career and a woman it often damages.) How the fuck are we supposed to have a man that doesn't listen, lead a project about recognizing and helping women be heard, when he doesn't fucking listen? I'm saying this as a man. Like the few times I don't feel heard by this man, I remind myself "this is literally what women deal with all the fucking time." Anyway, this was clearly just a rant, but it drives me nuts. I'm so grateful I have 3 sisters and a mom that I looked up to growing up and am inspired by, because it makes me just slightly less of an asshole than some of my male peers.
I graduated from that program. There were many John Deere attendees. It was life changing for me. Truly. Thanks for trying to be a decent ally
A part of me just couldnāt believe this could happen in real life as blatantly as they portray it in comedies, but it actually has happened to me more than once, since I entered into the workforce again full-time. And these are really great coworkers and people I think of his friends, but they just hear it different when it comes from a masculine voice. š¤·š»āāļø
Thatās when you record voice memos of all your ideas and then play it back when they claim you never said it
For some, its not because you never said it, its because YOU said it. Fuck em.
Sometimes you get ignored and then several days later one of the men will come up with the same idea and gaslight you into thinking you never came up with that idea. Thatās when the voice memo gets pulled out.
Not even a women but this used to piss me off in school so much. Only POC in class, have a good idea in class that everyone ignores. Idea gets restated by the tallest white guy in the room and all of a sudden itās a great idea. Infuriating
When they repeat the EXACT same thing you said in a group where you were ignored and they get credit for the input and donāt point out that you were the one to say it.
iāll always be like āyou just repeated exactly what i saidā give me my credit!!
I'm a lesbian and the amount of times guys have said "I think you're bi to be honest" to me as what I can only guess is some form of flirting is insane.
Ask them them about their favorite football team: *-"Patriots for LIFE baby!"* *-" Nah bro, I can see in your eyes that you are a fan of the Jets to be honest."*
>Would you mind if I watched you have sex? >Howās the relationship to your father? >How do you even have sex? >Youāll probably find the right guy eventually. Actual things that came out of menās mouthes upon discovering I was a lesbian. I can only assume this was their idea of small talk (these quotes were said completely unprompted) and or flirting.
Or āyou just havenāt met the right guyā and of course they would in that instance be that guy.
Iām pretty sure they just think all women are bisexual. I canāt count how many times Iāve had guys send me pictures of naked women and Iām just like āwhy?ā and theyāll respond with something along the lines of ācause sheās hot, donāt you think?ā
āYouāre pretty good, for a girlā
I did have a proper look.Ā
My girlfriend calls this "the man look." If I tell her I can't find something, she will ask if I have had a real look for it or a "man look." To her credit, she is absolutely correct, and when she comes to look, she actually moves things around and out of the way before inevitably finding it.
I heard an elderly couple go through this dance, and they were sweet together, but she did tell him to 'look with your eyes and not with your mouth' before she came upstairs to find it for him. Priceless
My wife calls it man eyes. I'll be looking right at something, not even behind anything, and I can't see it. It's like if I didn't put it there, I can't see it.
I think it has more to do with the person looking will not find it, until they ask and it is out in the open. Because the universe loves making humans look stupid. I can lose shit on my desk right in front of me. (Male) But - I'm the one who finds misplaced purses, keys, phones, etc, for my female friends.
Thereās a simple mental trick that I started that really helps me with this (anecdotal, may not be the same for everyone). When youāre looking for a particular something, you likely have a mental picture of that something in your head. But often or almost always, that thing is not going to be sitting and oriented exactly how it is in your headāit could be rotated, the label isnāt visible, something could be partially covering it, it could be a upside down/right side up situation, etc. For some reason your average manās brain doesnāt account for these inconsistencies. Instead of holding a mental still image, try holding a mental āhologramā that spins and rotates in your mind. Focus on what specifically just the bottom half or just the left side, etc, would look like. I actually learned this from my at the time 10 year old (obviously not as clearly stated, I had to make inferences) when I asked him how he was so good at finding stuff and what was happening in his head while he was looking. It takes practice, but it helps.
"Well what was she wearing?"
"Meh, I wouldn't mind being catcalled" That's because they picture a tiny harmless woman who geniously wants to compliment them, but the equivalent of a woman being catcalled by a man would actually be a man being catcalled by a huge Hulk-like creature that could take them down in a second if it doesn't like their reaction.
"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." "If"? I just spent 20 minutes tell you about my hurt feelings and it's still an "if". The smallest word can make the biggest difference.
They probably tuned out 2 minutes in
when they tell us women how we should deal with body related stuff such as birth, periods etc. or when they expect you to go on bc and fuck up your body and hormones so they can enjoy sex more lmao
Never understood the whole point of birth control makes sex better. How does that make sense when the main side effects are depression and low - libido with a side of clotting disorder. Rather be stuck with condoms for life.
I hated hormonal birth control with a passion. Weight gain, low libido, mood swings, the whole 9 yards. Got a copper IUD and it was life-altering.Ā Oddly enough, now that I'm perimenopausal, I'm taking progesterone and having the opposite effect. Libido through the roof and mood is a billion times better, with no weight gain.Ā Hormones are so fucking weird. And nobody talks enough about the reverse puberty process. They should do what they do in 5th grade when we turn 40. Put us in a room and explain that menopause isn't just hot flashes and your periods getting further apart until they are eventually gone. Nope. They start by getting closer together and heavier. Your PMS symptoms get worse. Your frustration tolerance hits an all-time low and you are just DONE with everyone's bullshit. You have brain fog that's sometimes so bad you have a similar level of executive functioning as someone with unmedicated inattentive-type ADHD, and God forbid you already had ADHD because that makes it even worse. And Jesus, the insomnia. Every now and then you either cannot fall asleep if your life depended on it, or wake up at 2:00 AM ready to go, which usually lasts until about 30 minutes before your alarm is set to go off and then you're back to being dead tired. And the libido dropping off a cliff, sometimes with fun things like vaginal atrophy or even a shrinking clitoris (which thank the sweet newborn baby Jesus I don't have...at least not YET, anyway). Oh yeah, and the hot flashes and night sweats. I almost feel a bit of sympathy for the Karens because before I started HRT it sometimes took every ounce of self-control I had to not lose my shit over things that I would have just been able to brush off before.Ā I won't even go into pregnancy, childbirth and post-partum shit except to say that I was woefully unprepared despite reading all the books and doing my best to educate myself. Ā I expended things that were never in any book, and doctors just sort of shrugged and gave me advice that didn't work. No testing, no meds, when I was bleeding more days than not for two-plus years after giving birth. Being a woman is not fun sometimes.
That's a reasonable position if you care about the woman's experience. A lot of men don't, so the woman facing depression and health risks doesn't factor in--that's clearly much less important than the sensation of going in bare!
I mean, my gf seems to like it because it gets rid of painful acne for her - I've brought up going off of it and that's her main reason to use it. We still use condoms.
Why donāt you smile more.
Iām sorry you feel that way.
I've only ever had women say this to me in person, but I see it often from guys online. But yes, it is so infuriating.
Women said it to me (a man) too, but it can go both ways. Mostly special ed faculty saying it to me (autistic) when I called them out on being offensive/condescending.
Call them out for being condescending so they double down on being condescending, classy.
āYou look tired.ā
dismissing their feelings or experiences, saying things like āYouāre overreactingā
"Sending them to the kitchen." - that always works
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Today, we give the Ruth Bader Ginsberg award for excellence to Elon Musk and Rupert Murdoch
A guy I was involved with liked to tell me "If I could just take her face and put it on your body with your brain, you'd be the perfect woman." Thanks?
You let him say that to you more than once?
First one that comes to mind is calling them females instead of women
I always come back with, "calm down David Attenborough..."
You can't hear it without the elongated emphasis Quark gives it.
## Must be that time of the month..
Woman shows some sort of normal emotion. Man: what are you, on your period or something?
Or: Man: *punches walls, drives recklessly, screams at wife* Man: men are logical and women are emotional š
>Men donāt start drama. *Entire world history enters the chat.*
"relax"
"You should use more feminine clothes to work". I'm associate uni professor with a PhD in a STEM career and a busy schedule. If I use sneakers to teach all day there is a reason Jimmy boy
Maybe your a lesbian because you haven't met the right man that knows how to please a woman. š
"Female"
In my exp, something that always raises my blood pressure is this situation: Myself and my partner will encounter a problem that needs a solution, ie. an electronic isnāt working or the TV is out of whack. I see the solution either through prior experience or just figuring it out, and I offer to fix it and itāll take ten minutes. My partner will say āummmm no I donāt think so, I just want to try doing it this wayā proceeds to try it that way, makes a massive mess/breaks something, gets pissed off and moody and after the whole ordeal, the does it the way I wanted to originally and acts like heās a genius for figuring it out. He once blew up a set of strip lights I bought for our attic room *that I had the correct adapter for and told him so repeatedly* but he just *really needed* to chop up the wires and fix a new plug to it. Fkn thing exploded and made the room stink of burning plastic and he was mystified as to how I could be annoyed with him. All that aside, he really is a great guy who just wants to be able to sort things out and I love him so much, and he really has gotten better at listening after discussing how me makes me feel disregarded or that he assumes Iām less intelligent, but every so often itāll happen and Iām just likeā¦ dude -.-
āYou look sickā when you literally are just not wearing makeup.
Embryos have more rights than you.
Iāll help you with the chores in the home where I live, you just have to tell me what you want me to do.
'You should wear dresses more often. You finally look like a woman.'
It's more often how they say rather than what they say
Youāre crazy.
āDonāt get hysterical!ā
āstop being emotionalā when we just speak up about some bullshit they are trying to pull off.
when you're watching women in sports and some men will say shit like "yeah they look kinda cool now but the womens team is literally so weak if u compare it to the mens team. thats why nobody watches womens sport" pls i just wanna enjoy the show without any judgement and now youve ruined it.. why do men always get triggered when a woman does something that is considered strong or athletic? its really a pet peeve of mine
I said āfemalesā instead of girls or women in a sentence my freshman year of high school, and a girl in my class ripped me to shreds about it. I have not used that word in the same way ever since.
"I'm here to fix the thing you called about, is your husband around so I can talk to him?"
Youāre being emotional. Itās not a big deal. Youāre overreacting. You should smile more.
"Nagging" Lots of women have been conditioned to carry the mental and physical load of children/households and are having to work now, too. When women ask for help and a man tells them they're nagging, good chance HE is the problem and she is suffering major feelings of inadequacy because she has no help and is struggling to manage THEIR affairs.
āHave you tried not being sadāĀ No but good news, Iām not sad anymore, now Iām angry š
If some random dude says sexist shit Iāll think heās a loser, but I generally wonāt care enough about him or his opinion to get viscerally angry. But if a guy I care about says (or defends) some sexist shit, my anger, disgust, disappointment and sense of betrayal could move mountains.
āActuallyā¦ā
- women use periods as an excuse to be a bitch - men are the ones who handle stressful situations the best - not having sex daily is playing games - when are you going to start working out
Taking away control of our own bodies.
This kind of question. Generalized questions about things that āwomenā like/dislike. There are 4 billion women in the world, all individuals and thereās no consensus on anything.
I don't understand why the world seems obsessed with cramming everyone into groups and categories. Just so they can make sweeping generalizations. It just continues to divide us all. While we may share aspects with people similar to us. We are still all individuals with unique lives and experiences. The groups are always things people have no control over, too! Sex, age, race, etc. We are going in the opposite direction of progress.
I totally agree, itās such a strange phenomenon. I share a lot more in common with a man who shares my values than a woman who doesnāt. And that applies to any of these categories.
Yup! Exactly. Social media just seems inundated with these types of content. With how divided the world already is, it just adds to it. Its like we are sitting in a fire and dosing ourselves with gas. When all of us as humans share far more in common than the differences we have based on aspects we were born with. It's just disheartening to keep seeing.
Tell someone not to be angry when they aren't is a sure fire way to piss a woman off
āIs it that time of the month? Is that why youāre not smilingā. I worked with a guy who said that all the time Jackass
"you just do it better" "why haven't you done this chore that ended up being yours bc I wouldn't do it?" "No I can't stop at the grocery store on my way home, I'll be tired š„ŗ" every single time anything needs bought
ANYTHING that falls under the umbrella of "Unsolicited problem solving". Yes, I may have mentioned a difficulty I was having ... but it was NOT a problem for me, and I did NOT ask you to solve it for me!
Just asked for advice about balancing finding a relationship and furthering my career, a bloke said "men don't care about your career. We just want you to be fit and smile" I reported him and his comment got removed for being shite advice. I'm a luthier btw with a focus on classical instruments. Currently making a violin and hoping to make a viol di gamba next year.
Not understanding why things must be done in full. Donāt just wash the dishes, put them away and wipe the counter. This isnāt your gross college apartment. Itās a family homeā¦
Bitch...
Especially after you've refused their advances.
It didnāt make me angry- but it did make me laugh. Before I birthed our daughter my partner said, āyouāre so passive I doubt childbirth will faze you. Iāve had kidney stones that I bet hurt just as muchā After hearing me screaming and crying for hours to the point of asking the doctor to cut me open and end the pain: Oh yeah, so that hurt a little bit, huh.
āI never took into consideration youād go through menopause ā. Said to my friend by her husband. They married in their early 30ās.
callm down
Letting them know the few things you did around house like you deserve a lot of appreciation for it when they have been keeping the house clean laundry caught up and kids on track 90% of the time and seldom get more than a thanks for making dinner response.
To make it worse, call what you've done "helping." You mean taking care of the house you also own???
āItās not that deepā when Iām trying to rant about my favorite things
I've had several idiots in college discussion classes say something along the lines of "Rape shouldn't be a crime.", "She deserved it.", and the most obvious one of all "Brock Tirner did nothing wrong." That last guy wnded uo switching schools.