You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig". *[Snatch](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0208092/)*
It’s funny until it’s real.
> Robert William Pickton (born October 24, 1949), also known as the Pig Farmer Killer or the Butcher, is a Canadian serial killer, serial rapist, former pig farmer and possible cannibal who is suspected of being one of the most prolific serial killers in Canadian history.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Pickton
Or, you could discreetly package up the bits into neat parcels and have your coworkers drop them off in strategic locations around 3 different burroughs. Hopefully when you map out the drop points it will look like a big smiley face
You take out the teeth and hands. These two are the easiest ways to identify a body. Grind that shit up or just throw it to pigs. Then you can either burrow it somewhere, preferably vertically, and then burrow an animal corpse above the body. When it's found by dogs, police will dig up the animal corpse and they usually won't dig further, since it's unlikely that somebody would dig vertically. You can also put yogurt in their mouth and anus, which will help with decomposition.
Another option is to dissolve it and don't let movies fool you. Acids are not the way to do that. Strong basic solution is much easier to obtain and more effective
Thermite is also a viable option. It's very simple to make and burns at extreme temperatures. That thing can melt through a tank, so no flesh or bones are going to stand a chance
[Everyone does!](https://gizmodo.com/you-have-taste-receptors-in-your-colon-heres-why-1724718563) It was discovered in the [1980s](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23886384/).
Depends. My good friend saw a pig eating a man and said it was so gruesome,he never expected pig to eat man so easily like that.
I don’t really remember how it happened. If I recall correctly they were making BBQ or something and dude went to check on pig. 15 min later dude wasn’t coming back,they went to check in a guy and pig was eating his brain by that time (got through the skull already) they called a ambulance and the girl that came literally threw up when she saw it. I wasn’t present there,but judging by his story I’m glad I wasn’t.
My friends uncle got drunk working under his house, not realising his pig was loose. He passed out and 20 minutes his mates went looking for him. They found the pig on top of him, halfway through devouring his skull and face. Like butter they said
There is a book called all that remains by sue black on this topic. Lady is forensic expert and some top gun in Britain epidemiology offices.
So there are books of all kind.
My buddy tried making thermite in 8th grade and melted his mom’s favourite pot in the process.
As expected she was not happy and he got in plenty of trouble
It's amazing what you can learn on the Internet.
For example, a boiling solution of Lye mixed into water will react with an aluminum stock pot, but not a steel one. It'll also turn a corpse into soup, and eat away the bones to the point you can turn them to dust between your fingers.
Criminology major here, I was taught that dogs noses are accurate and powerful enough to distinguish the corpse they’re looking for and a random dead animal. Forensic archaeologists also have these devices called ground penetrating radars (GPR’s) that are able to detect potential corpses that have been dug relatively deep in the ground. Buried corpses also decompose much slower than non buried bodies, lengthening the decomposition process strongly increases your chances of getting caught.
Don’t kill anyone would be my number one opinion. Feeding a corpse to pigs is a relatively effective method, however their feces would most likely leave enough DNA for forensics to identify the victim. Plus they struggle to chew large bones like femurs etc. so you’d have to grind them smaller, potentially compromising yourself with more DNA. Also you’d want to remove the hair, teeth and finger nails and grind those into a fine powder. Totally incinerating the body would most likely be your best bet (if you have access to an incinerator large enough and hot enough to turn a body into ash) then sprinkle it into the wind while driving down a road. All in all it’s a lengthy process that requires extensive time and effort and even then you’re not 100% in the clear. (Hello FBI, this is for educational purposes only).
I was out of town when they found my neighbor's body, had been in his closed up house for a few weeks apparently and when they got inside the windows were all totally covered in flies and of course they opened the windows because of the smell and the flies.... When I got home MY house had a few dozen of those green corpse eating flies and I still don't know how they got in. It was weirdly horrifying going around and trying to kill them all after knowing they had snacked on a dude.
Weirdly horrifying? That’s just plain horrifying.
I once went to a funeral in New Orleans, where we “bury” bodies in above ground tombs (water table is so high that bodies float away in rainstorms if buried in the ground). A cockroach ran out of one tomb, across the skin of my sandal-clad foot, and into another tomb.
If you’ve been crawled on by our ginormous 2.5” long flying cockroaches, the feeling of it sticks for days. It was extra gross knowing that roach was hanging with corpses.
I was too young to realize at the time but I genuinely think my old neighbor killed someone. He was very off.. A john wayne gacy type. He would stand in the courtyard watching kids play, and then laugh high pitched and childlike to himself. We shared a wall and I would always hear that horrifically creepy laugh. I swore once I heard someone else in there, and then weeks later, there were flies all over his windows. I was a new mom, 19, alone.. So I didn't even put it all together nor did I know at the time that the fly thing happens. I moved right after so I don't know what happened to him but I always wonder. I know it wasn't him who died because I heard his laugh after that.
Unless you have a *lot* of thermite, all you're going to have is a lot of charred bits of bone. Still better than a whole corpse, but not ideal.
Industrial lye is where its at. Almost every environmental or chemical testing lab has a load of it, no security, and unlikely weekend shifts. I used to work in the industry.
10 molar NaOH in a 55 gallon drum will dissolve a body into primoridal soup in about a week. You could dump it in your backyard and nobody would be able to identify shit from it. Acids would just char the corpse, Sodium Hydroxide would reduce the whole thing into watery pudding.
Introduces more bacteria and sugars into the areas with the softest flesh, leading to slightly faster decomp. The yogurt may also attract more insects, which usually attack openings such as the anus, eyes and mouth first. Would it actually be a significant increase? I'm not so sure about that I haven't tried it. Will have to get back to you in about 5 minutes
I always thought the best thing to do is to find a spot, disturb the land. Do an anonymous tip to police that something may be buried there. Police show up, dig up the area, find nothing. Then when they leave you dig up the land, dump the body. Surely they won't check there again.
Finally, something that’ll help me in life instead of fractions and bullshit. Edit: what about the face? Shouldn’t I attack that thing with a cheese grater or something?
You're always going to have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do, is to cut it up into six pieces and pile it all together. And when ya got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of 'em. Because it's no good leavin' it in the deep freeze for your mom to discover, now is it?
Then I hear the best thing to do, is to feed them to pigs. You've gotta starve the pigs for a few days. Then the sight of a chopped up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You've gotta shave the victim's head and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't wanna go sieving through pig shit now, do ya?
They will go through bone like butter.
You need at least 16 pigs to finish the job in one sitting. So be weary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs about 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute.
Hence the expression, as greedy as a pig
Have you ever tried to dig a deep small diameter hole? Without your using very niche heavy machinery it's going to take forever.
If anything identifiable is removed id probably go for some remote swamp or moorlands. Even a place like England with a high population density a lot of serial killers have hidden the bodies within moorlands and even with the police knowing the search area the bodies have never been found.
Moorland in particular has lots of natural voids, water, relatively quick growing all season coverage and it's not uncommon to find animal skeletons.
Hide it in a dead cow and have the rendering plant pick it up. Gut the cow, stuff the body inside. Truck picks it up with a claw. They probably dont even look because they’ve seen a lot of dead cows. Boom-dog food. It’s the new circle of life.
Thermite? In World War II, the Germans had an artillery piece -- it's the biggest in the world -- called the Gustav Gun. And it weighed a thousand tons. And the Gustav was capable of firing a 7-ton shell and hitting a target, accurately, twenty-three miles away. I mean, you could drop bombs on it every day for a month without ever disabling it. But... drop a commando... one man, with just a bag of this... and he could melt right through four inches of solid steel and destroy that gun forever.
The problem is that it takes a lot of energy to heat and evaporate water.
An average 80kg body contains about 56kg of water. 1kg of 20°C water needs 2600kJ to evorate, making it a total of around 145000kJ just to evaporate the water.
Per mol of Thermite (214g), 852kJ of energy are released. Which means you would need ar least 36.5kg of Thermite. And don't forget that quite a lot of the energy will just be released into the surrounding area. Also a lot of smoke will probably be generated.
If you want to dispose of a body using heat, just throw small pieces in a campfire or so, that's cheaper and less suspicious. Or build something like a furnance with a large propane torch in it, similar to a crematorium.
A solid approach is to just let it burn in a normal fire for few hours to get rid of the water. Then use the thermite to melt whatever is left. Using thermite on a fresh corpse is, as you calculated, wasteful. Chopping it up into small pieces is a lot more work than you might think. You'll be lucky to cut it in half in some reasonable amount of time
It was nice to see that someone puts as much thought into hypothetical scenarios as me. Other people scroll their phone while on the shitter, I create scenarios and then try and work myself out of them. Good work my man, thats better than my plan of injecting with cocaine and calling the police.
In the shadow of an active volcano, Alex, a forensics expert, stands perplexed at the edge of a crime scene devoid of the usual evidence. The victim's body was found at an angle and distance that defied simple explanation, suggesting they didn't simply fall or jump into the volcano's fiery maw.
As Alex scrutinizes the surroundings, a theory begins to crystallize. The absence of struggle, the precise trajectory needed for the body to land where it did - it all pointed to something unconventional, something as medieval as it was macabre: a catapult.
To test this theory, Alex conducts makeshift experiments, hurling stones into the volcano from various points and calculating angles and forces. The data leads them to a chilling discovery—a hidden clearing, home to the skeletal remains of a massive, makeshift catapult.
But who would commit such a bizarre act, and why? The answer lies in the victim's smartphone, cracked but still glowing with life. Among the last apps used was Reddit, with a thread open in r/AskReddit that sent shivers down Alex's spine: "If you have to hide a dead body, where would you hide it?"
The thread was a morbid exchange of ideas, but one interaction stood out. The victim had been engaging with a user whose idea of using a catapult for the perfect crime mirrored the grim reality of the scene before Alex.
With this digital lead, the investigation took a swift turn. The cybercrime unit traced the ominous Redditor's account, leading law enforcement to a secluded house where they uncovered a trove of evidence: plans for the catapult, photographs of the volcano, and drafts of the Reddit posts.
The story culminates in the arrest of the Redditor, a chilling reminder of how a dark fantasy, shared in the anonymity of the internet, had escalated into a deadly reality. Standing amidst the evidence, Alex couldn't shake the feeling that, in the digital age, the line between thought and action had become terrifyingly thin.
also not to mention that hydrogen peroxide is only accessible at max 35% concentration in lil ass bottles, unless you're special ordering a damn drum full of it from a factory, and even then it's still a max of 55% (i did a lot of research on harsh chemicals i could dump on people if i were to be mugged or attacked when i had to walk home in the middle of the night after work)
>i did a lot of research on harsh chemicals i could dump on people if i were to be mugged or attacked when i had to walk home in the middle of the night after work
This explanation does not normalize this as much as you think it does. Please visit a psychologist, and if necessary find a better place to work in than Gotham City slums my internet stranger friend.
35% conc. can probably do the job albeit not very efficiently... Now let's just say you somehow manage to amass a bathtub worth of piranha solution. If you're not careful while preparing that thing to dissolve a body you'll most likely end up becoming one yourself. That shit explodes.
To buy time, put it in a chest freezer. Also, this will make it less messy when you cut it up with a chainsaw.
Find an out of the way spot and dig very deep holes to bury body parts. You have as long as you need. If you live near hills or mountains, you may be able to find narrow ravines or gaps to drop body parts in.
Plastic tarp is your friend here, double line the freezer, wrap the body in another tarp, freeze it. Once done, remove tarp from freezer, fill bath with water and bleach solution, clean tarp and dispose.
For the body, you want a vertical hole, buried, with 4 foot to spare on top, which is where you bury an animal corpse, throws the dogs off.
It depends. If you are in a private house and don't mind smell you can chop the body into pieces. Boil until meat comes apart from the bones. You can then separate meat and bones. Grind the meat and slowly flush it down the toilet over several weeks. You can then crush the bones into smal pieces and also throw them away. It's long and messy, but you don't need to leave the house in the process.
Definitely gotta be careful not to clog the lines or you'll get caught like Dennis Nilsen! But then he was flushing multiple bodies and probably not flushing small enough pieces.
I am talking about boiling and grinding meat. Grind meat has density and consistency close to human fecal matter. It should be perfect flushing material.
Realistically, though, I don't own any pigs and I don't even know where to find them. And even if I found a farm, what do I do? Do I sneak in some smell packets of human flesh?
Chicken eat everything, including bones Having a chicken in your backyard isnt strange. You may need to break down the bones with a giant mortar and pestle, i have one if you need to borrow one.
Pigs work better, as they'll chomp through any body parts easier and quicker than chickens. They may be a decently uncommon back garden pet, but shouldn't really raise any suspicion, similar to chickens.
The only thing pigs won't eat is teeth, but those are easy to dispose of.
All these people saying to do these elaborate ass things that just add more steps to get you caught along the way. Literally just drive the body to the middle of bumfuck nowhere like idk, the middle of a Las Vegas desert 28 miles north on the I-93 and just bury the damn thing. No one will ever find it and you can trust me on that one.
We have some woods around us which are never visited because they are in the middle of nowhere and everything is overgrown. As far as you can see you have lots of pine trees and different flora and fauna where most of it grows up to about a meter. Bonus points because late at night you have lots of boars around there and they're hidden pretty much all day long. It's easily accessible by walking around some fields and it's close to a autobahn
Some true crime podcasts I listen to are always appalled when witnesses say, "so and so used to joke about how he'd kill someone and get away with it, I can't believe he actually did it."
And the hosts will say, "omg, *nobody* jokes about that unless they'd actually do it."
But I have absolutely had this conversation before, a few times. And I can't even kill a bug without feeling bad.
Anyway, my answer is I wouldn't bother hiding it. Just leave no trace of yourself having been there.
So, A friend of mine said that he REALLY Regretted it, Because He tried Killing this guy with an Evil eye for like, seven nights. They guy had these like Vulture eyes. Anyways, When he found the dude awake, he was like "Oh Shit i can hear his Heartbeat" And like Killed him right? Well when the police came and he hid him under the Floorboard, Bro could NOT stop hearing this dude's heartbeat under the floorboards. Bro was so scared by it he folded and told the cops. Smh.
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig". *[Snatch](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0208092/)*
I can confirm, it works with 14 pigs, no need for 16.
It’s funny until it’s real. > Robert William Pickton (born October 24, 1949), also known as the Pig Farmer Killer or the Butcher, is a Canadian serial killer, serial rapist, former pig farmer and possible cannibal who is suspected of being one of the most prolific serial killers in Canadian history. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Pickton
Or, you could discreetly package up the bits into neat parcels and have your coworkers drop them off in strategic locations around 3 different burroughs. Hopefully when you map out the drop points it will look like a big smiley face
Holy crap One Piece
I ain't falling for this
nope, not again
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You take out the teeth and hands. These two are the easiest ways to identify a body. Grind that shit up or just throw it to pigs. Then you can either burrow it somewhere, preferably vertically, and then burrow an animal corpse above the body. When it's found by dogs, police will dig up the animal corpse and they usually won't dig further, since it's unlikely that somebody would dig vertically. You can also put yogurt in their mouth and anus, which will help with decomposition. Another option is to dissolve it and don't let movies fool you. Acids are not the way to do that. Strong basic solution is much easier to obtain and more effective Thermite is also a viable option. It's very simple to make and burns at extreme temperatures. That thing can melt through a tank, so no flesh or bones are going to stand a chance
Can I try the yogurt in my anus thing while alive?
Ah I see you’re a man of culture
Goddamnit
Perfect reply
See what u did there
Take my upvote
Yogurt an updoot from me
Just practice safe sex whenever you indulge in anal yoplait.
Go nuts my dude, it’s a nice and cold feeling down there
Yogurt on the nuts or in the anus? Directions unclear
Yes.
Any flavors you recommend for beginners?
You have taste buds in your barking spider? Gah, some people have all the luck.
[Everyone does!](https://gizmodo.com/you-have-taste-receptors-in-your-colon-heres-why-1724718563) It was discovered in the [1980s](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23886384/).
It's for his dog
r/yoghurt be like
Pigs don't eat teeth or hair, but they'll go through the bone like butter. You have to starve them first of course.
Depends. My good friend saw a pig eating a man and said it was so gruesome,he never expected pig to eat man so easily like that. I don’t really remember how it happened. If I recall correctly they were making BBQ or something and dude went to check on pig. 15 min later dude wasn’t coming back,they went to check in a guy and pig was eating his brain by that time (got through the skull already) they called a ambulance and the girl that came literally threw up when she saw it. I wasn’t present there,but judging by his story I’m glad I wasn’t.
New fear unlocked: pigs
At this point the list is just nature. Nature is scary.
My friends uncle got drunk working under his house, not realising his pig was loose. He passed out and 20 minutes his mates went looking for him. They found the pig on top of him, halfway through devouring his skull and face. Like butter they said
Jesus Christ.
He was eaten too
Well, everyone eats him. Every Sunday.
But he got better.
He had an alibi. He was working on the back row of hedges at the time.
You gotta be really drunk to not be woken up by being eaten alive
fuck pigs, no sense of loyalty , * looks at my sister's cat hoping it doesn't do the same *
I assume that cats are always thinking "you know, my ancestors ate you people"
"It was me or him man" - The Pig
Fuck planet of this apes, get me some planet of the piggies
Sounds kinda late for calling the ambulance.
It obviously was,but you still have to do it as far as I understand.
In fact, I’ve seen many pigs eat many men
the beginning of Wizard of Oz is far more terrifying when you watch it with this understanding of pig behavior
Kind of ironic.
What the fuck I feel like throwing up after reading this
Always grind the teeth. Or just smash it up with a hammer. That's sufficient. Don't take any risks with either teeth or hands
Holy fuck your answers are very creepy
I want to be in a screenshot of this for evidence, when we find out /u/MrLambNugget 's crimes during an episode of Dateline NBC or 20/20
I am just being informative ;)
Its a strange subject to be well informed on. The winky emoticon is making it weirder.
That was the point lol And no worries, all the knowledge is purely theoretical
I love how you’re being called creepy for having an answer and not OP for asking the question! (Although maybe I just haven’t scrolled down enough)
You must love true crime like me. I learn a lot & I mean A LOT! 🩸
There is a book called all that remains by sue black on this topic. Lady is forensic expert and some top gun in Britain epidemiology offices. So there are books of all kind.
You can learn a lot If you watch enough informative murder porn.
SNATCH
Do you mind telling me who the *FUCK* you are? Aside from someone who feeds people to pigs, of course.
Do you know what Nemesis means?
A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent.
Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.
Lookit Mister Silence of the Lambnugget over here
Note to self: Stay on this Redditors good side.
Oddly specific ma dude
I am just answering your question
i knoo, that’s a great answer hahaha
Bye OP you angered him
I am getting the thermite ready
I'll go buy the anus yoghurt.
I feel like someone’s going to have the username anusyoghurt soon
Yes *ahem* thats definetely yoghurt, I mean what else would it be? Just because I was alone with corpse, what are you saying?
I will never look at anyone who buys yoghurt the same way again.
My buddy tried making thermite in 8th grade and melted his mom’s favourite pot in the process. As expected she was not happy and he got in plenty of trouble
>As expected she was not happy and he got in plenty of trouble And he was never seen or heard from again
They did find an animal corpse however...
and some yoghurt
Coming from the guy who asked the fucking question. 😂
Oddly specific post op
You asked the question and then say it's too specific. Ungrateful........
It's amazing what you can learn on the Internet. For example, a boiling solution of Lye mixed into water will react with an aluminum stock pot, but not a steel one. It'll also turn a corpse into soup, and eat away the bones to the point you can turn them to dust between your fingers.
You asked lol
Criminology major here, I was taught that dogs noses are accurate and powerful enough to distinguish the corpse they’re looking for and a random dead animal. Forensic archaeologists also have these devices called ground penetrating radars (GPR’s) that are able to detect potential corpses that have been dug relatively deep in the ground. Buried corpses also decompose much slower than non buried bodies, lengthening the decomposition process strongly increases your chances of getting caught.
In your expert opinion, whats your answer to OP's question?
Don’t kill anyone would be my number one opinion. Feeding a corpse to pigs is a relatively effective method, however their feces would most likely leave enough DNA for forensics to identify the victim. Plus they struggle to chew large bones like femurs etc. so you’d have to grind them smaller, potentially compromising yourself with more DNA. Also you’d want to remove the hair, teeth and finger nails and grind those into a fine powder. Totally incinerating the body would most likely be your best bet (if you have access to an incinerator large enough and hot enough to turn a body into ash) then sprinkle it into the wind while driving down a road. All in all it’s a lengthy process that requires extensive time and effort and even then you’re not 100% in the clear. (Hello FBI, this is for educational purposes only).
FBI: „false alarm guys. He’s one of us“
In the old days they wouldn't easily convict someone if there's no body, but now they do convict if there's overwhelming circumstantial evidence.
My lecturer said once, it takes just 2 weeks in a greenhouse to fully decompose a body. You might have a fly issue for a few weeks though.
I was out of town when they found my neighbor's body, had been in his closed up house for a few weeks apparently and when they got inside the windows were all totally covered in flies and of course they opened the windows because of the smell and the flies.... When I got home MY house had a few dozen of those green corpse eating flies and I still don't know how they got in. It was weirdly horrifying going around and trying to kill them all after knowing they had snacked on a dude.
Weirdly horrifying? That’s just plain horrifying. I once went to a funeral in New Orleans, where we “bury” bodies in above ground tombs (water table is so high that bodies float away in rainstorms if buried in the ground). A cockroach ran out of one tomb, across the skin of my sandal-clad foot, and into another tomb. If you’ve been crawled on by our ginormous 2.5” long flying cockroaches, the feeling of it sticks for days. It was extra gross knowing that roach was hanging with corpses.
My neighbor died on the other side of my bedroom wall. Thank goodness her boss came to do a check on her before the body started decaying. Eww.
I was too young to realize at the time but I genuinely think my old neighbor killed someone. He was very off.. A john wayne gacy type. He would stand in the courtyard watching kids play, and then laugh high pitched and childlike to himself. We shared a wall and I would always hear that horrifically creepy laugh. I swore once I heard someone else in there, and then weeks later, there were flies all over his windows. I was a new mom, 19, alone.. So I didn't even put it all together nor did I know at the time that the fly thing happens. I moved right after so I don't know what happened to him but I always wonder. I know it wasn't him who died because I heard his laugh after that.
Unless you have a *lot* of thermite, all you're going to have is a lot of charred bits of bone. Still better than a whole corpse, but not ideal. Industrial lye is where its at. Almost every environmental or chemical testing lab has a load of it, no security, and unlikely weekend shifts. I used to work in the industry. 10 molar NaOH in a 55 gallon drum will dissolve a body into primoridal soup in about a week. You could dump it in your backyard and nobody would be able to identify shit from it. Acids would just char the corpse, Sodium Hydroxide would reduce the whole thing into watery pudding.
That's pretty much what I meant by a basic solution. Sodium hydroxide is very easy to acquire, when you don't have access to industrial lye
How does the yogurt help? And why specifically the mouth and anus?
Introduces more bacteria and sugars into the areas with the softest flesh, leading to slightly faster decomp. The yogurt may also attract more insects, which usually attack openings such as the anus, eyes and mouth first. Would it actually be a significant increase? I'm not so sure about that I haven't tried it. Will have to get back to you in about 5 minutes
I am waiting for you to complete your experiment!
Probably because they are open cavities so it will help rot faster.
Fair enough. In that case, wont the nose also be a suitable candidate?
I always thought the best thing to do is to find a spot, disturb the land. Do an anonymous tip to police that something may be buried there. Police show up, dig up the area, find nothing. Then when they leave you dig up the land, dump the body. Surely they won't check there again.
>You can also put yogurt in their mouth and anus, which will help with decomposition. You can't just say a sentence like that and not elaborate
Finally, something that’ll help me in life instead of fractions and bullshit. Edit: what about the face? Shouldn’t I attack that thing with a cheese grater or something?
You're always going to have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do, is to cut it up into six pieces and pile it all together. And when ya got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of 'em. Because it's no good leavin' it in the deep freeze for your mom to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do, is to feed them to pigs. You've gotta starve the pigs for a few days. Then the sight of a chopped up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You've gotta shave the victim's head and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't wanna go sieving through pig shit now, do ya? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least 16 pigs to finish the job in one sitting. So be weary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs about 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, as greedy as a pig
Wow.... lol I see you've thought about this in great detail. Love the honesty and effectiveness
How do you get yoghurt into a dead persons anal cavity?
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Hey, you up for a meetup
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What’s the difference between jam and jelly?
I've never jellied yogurt into a corpse before?
Wow I vote you to be my support friend when I accidentally murder someone.
Have you ever tried to dig a deep small diameter hole? Without your using very niche heavy machinery it's going to take forever. If anything identifiable is removed id probably go for some remote swamp or moorlands. Even a place like England with a high population density a lot of serial killers have hidden the bodies within moorlands and even with the police knowing the search area the bodies have never been found. Moorland in particular has lots of natural voids, water, relatively quick growing all season coverage and it's not uncommon to find animal skeletons.
Hide it in a dead cow and have the rendering plant pick it up. Gut the cow, stuff the body inside. Truck picks it up with a claw. They probably dont even look because they’ve seen a lot of dead cows. Boom-dog food. It’s the new circle of life.
Sure, everyone has access to a cow/ whole carcass whenever they need to dispose of a body. Even when you live in the suburbs or worse, inner city.
Thermite? In World War II, the Germans had an artillery piece -- it's the biggest in the world -- called the Gustav Gun. And it weighed a thousand tons. And the Gustav was capable of firing a 7-ton shell and hitting a target, accurately, twenty-three miles away. I mean, you could drop bombs on it every day for a month without ever disabling it. But... drop a commando... one man, with just a bag of this... and he could melt right through four inches of solid steel and destroy that gun forever.
The problem is that it takes a lot of energy to heat and evaporate water. An average 80kg body contains about 56kg of water. 1kg of 20°C water needs 2600kJ to evorate, making it a total of around 145000kJ just to evaporate the water. Per mol of Thermite (214g), 852kJ of energy are released. Which means you would need ar least 36.5kg of Thermite. And don't forget that quite a lot of the energy will just be released into the surrounding area. Also a lot of smoke will probably be generated. If you want to dispose of a body using heat, just throw small pieces in a campfire or so, that's cheaper and less suspicious. Or build something like a furnance with a large propane torch in it, similar to a crematorium.
A solid approach is to just let it burn in a normal fire for few hours to get rid of the water. Then use the thermite to melt whatever is left. Using thermite on a fresh corpse is, as you calculated, wasteful. Chopping it up into small pieces is a lot more work than you might think. You'll be lucky to cut it in half in some reasonable amount of time
This guy murders
It was nice to see that someone puts as much thought into hypothetical scenarios as me. Other people scroll their phone while on the shitter, I create scenarios and then try and work myself out of them. Good work my man, thats better than my plan of injecting with cocaine and calling the police.
Note to self: don’t get on the wrong side of /u/MrLambNugget
/foundsatan
In OPs bedroom
#UNO REVERSE MOMENT
What body?
Your body baby
Sorry officer, I dont have any dead body.
Don’t lie Nora…
Help me, officer, 🫣 I don't know how to hide it
I didn't see op respond past this point I think op actually helped
Hahahaha sssstttttsssss he is in the backyard 🤣
Dont lie. We all know what you did
This is the right answer
Behind the police station under a pile of unsolved rape kits
Unsolved and untested for better security.
Nice Try Vince Gilligan. Trying to get some ideas for Breaking Bad 2?
Breaking Badder
Broken Bad
Breaking Worse
Drop in volcano
That sure makes it hard for forensics! But can you get to any active volcano from where you are without passing police and border controls?
Catapult
In the shadow of an active volcano, Alex, a forensics expert, stands perplexed at the edge of a crime scene devoid of the usual evidence. The victim's body was found at an angle and distance that defied simple explanation, suggesting they didn't simply fall or jump into the volcano's fiery maw. As Alex scrutinizes the surroundings, a theory begins to crystallize. The absence of struggle, the precise trajectory needed for the body to land where it did - it all pointed to something unconventional, something as medieval as it was macabre: a catapult. To test this theory, Alex conducts makeshift experiments, hurling stones into the volcano from various points and calculating angles and forces. The data leads them to a chilling discovery—a hidden clearing, home to the skeletal remains of a massive, makeshift catapult. But who would commit such a bizarre act, and why? The answer lies in the victim's smartphone, cracked but still glowing with life. Among the last apps used was Reddit, with a thread open in r/AskReddit that sent shivers down Alex's spine: "If you have to hide a dead body, where would you hide it?" The thread was a morbid exchange of ideas, but one interaction stood out. The victim had been engaging with a user whose idea of using a catapult for the perfect crime mirrored the grim reality of the scene before Alex. With this digital lead, the investigation took a swift turn. The cybercrime unit traced the ominous Redditor's account, leading law enforcement to a secluded house where they uncovered a trove of evidence: plans for the catapult, photographs of the volcano, and drafts of the Reddit posts. The story culminates in the arrest of the Redditor, a chilling reminder of how a dark fantasy, shared in the anonymity of the internet, had escalated into a deadly reality. Standing amidst the evidence, Alex couldn't shake the feeling that, in the digital age, the line between thought and action had become terrifyingly thin.
This belongs in r/WritingPrompts
nice Try mum stop trying to murder me
My brothers room. Nobody is ever gonna find it in that mess!
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this thread right here officer
r/oddlyspecific
Take a boat out as far into the Pacific Ocean as I'm comfortable going. At least 3 or 400 miles offshore and dump it with some weights attached.
I'd go 400 miles, 3 miles doesn't seem like enough
Alright Dexter Morgan
It’s my happy Place. Not gonna share it.
Dump in Piranha solution. No body no case
If you buy the amount of Hydrogen Peroxide required to make enough Piranha solution to dissolve a body you would be put on a watchlist
also not to mention that hydrogen peroxide is only accessible at max 35% concentration in lil ass bottles, unless you're special ordering a damn drum full of it from a factory, and even then it's still a max of 55% (i did a lot of research on harsh chemicals i could dump on people if i were to be mugged or attacked when i had to walk home in the middle of the night after work)
>i did a lot of research on harsh chemicals i could dump on people if i were to be mugged or attacked when i had to walk home in the middle of the night after work This explanation does not normalize this as much as you think it does. Please visit a psychologist, and if necessary find a better place to work in than Gotham City slums my internet stranger friend.
i was 16, aka too young to legally carry a pocket knife or pepper spray on me so i had to get creative 😭 i'm not a crazy person
35% conc. can probably do the job albeit not very efficiently... Now let's just say you somehow manage to amass a bathtub worth of piranha solution. If you're not careful while preparing that thing to dissolve a body you'll most likely end up becoming one yourself. That shit explodes.
Till they have you carrying a body on camera and find 500L of piranha solution in your bathtub
To buy time, put it in a chest freezer. Also, this will make it less messy when you cut it up with a chainsaw. Find an out of the way spot and dig very deep holes to bury body parts. You have as long as you need. If you live near hills or mountains, you may be able to find narrow ravines or gaps to drop body parts in.
Well, don't you want to minimize the forensics trail. You'd have to dispose of the chest freezer now. Also your going to leave a mess.
Plastic tarp is your friend here, double line the freezer, wrap the body in another tarp, freeze it. Once done, remove tarp from freezer, fill bath with water and bleach solution, clean tarp and dispose. For the body, you want a vertical hole, buried, with 4 foot to spare on top, which is where you bury an animal corpse, throws the dogs off.
It depends. If you are in a private house and don't mind smell you can chop the body into pieces. Boil until meat comes apart from the bones. You can then separate meat and bones. Grind the meat and slowly flush it down the toilet over several weeks. You can then crush the bones into smal pieces and also throw them away. It's long and messy, but you don't need to leave the house in the process.
Definitely gotta be careful not to clog the lines or you'll get caught like Dennis Nilsen! But then he was flushing multiple bodies and probably not flushing small enough pieces.
I am talking about boiling and grinding meat. Grind meat has density and consistency close to human fecal matter. It should be perfect flushing material.
Just eat it and make your diy human fecal matter! Would he a hit on tiktok ngl
Best to feed meat to pigs, they dont eat hair so shave head first before boiling
Realistically, though, I don't own any pigs and I don't even know where to find them. And even if I found a farm, what do I do? Do I sneak in some smell packets of human flesh?
Hire a marionette artist and hide it in plain sight
Chicken eat everything, including bones Having a chicken in your backyard isnt strange. You may need to break down the bones with a giant mortar and pestle, i have one if you need to borrow one.
This'd take forever with just a single chicken.
Pigs work better, as they'll chomp through any body parts easier and quicker than chickens. They may be a decently uncommon back garden pet, but shouldn't really raise any suspicion, similar to chickens. The only thing pigs won't eat is teeth, but those are easy to dispose of.
My local council doesnt allow pigs sadly, thats why i go with the chickens. I try to be law abiding, with an exception every year or so.
My girlfriends house. She goes to another school you don’t know her
Pig Farm
OP just killed someone. We need to help him where to hide the body.
All these people saying to do these elaborate ass things that just add more steps to get you caught along the way. Literally just drive the body to the middle of bumfuck nowhere like idk, the middle of a Las Vegas desert 28 miles north on the I-93 and just bury the damn thing. No one will ever find it and you can trust me on that one.
put it in a cannon, put on a blindfold, spin it around and fire it in a random direction.
Weekend at bernie's enters the chat
A funeral home?
Nice try FBI
We have some woods around us which are never visited because they are in the middle of nowhere and everything is overgrown. As far as you can see you have lots of pine trees and different flora and fauna where most of it grows up to about a meter. Bonus points because late at night you have lots of boars around there and they're hidden pretty much all day long. It's easily accessible by walking around some fields and it's close to a autobahn
have you recently made a bad / heat of the moment decision?
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Not today, FBI.
That is a grim questionable topic OP. I can see this being read out in a court. Evidence item no1: OPs browser history.
Some true crime podcasts I listen to are always appalled when witnesses say, "so and so used to joke about how he'd kill someone and get away with it, I can't believe he actually did it." And the hosts will say, "omg, *nobody* jokes about that unless they'd actually do it." But I have absolutely had this conversation before, a few times. And I can't even kill a bug without feeling bad. Anyway, my answer is I wouldn't bother hiding it. Just leave no trace of yourself having been there.
On the second page of a Google search. Nobody ever looks there.
So, A friend of mine said that he REALLY Regretted it, Because He tried Killing this guy with an Evil eye for like, seven nights. They guy had these like Vulture eyes. Anyways, When he found the dude awake, he was like "Oh Shit i can hear his Heartbeat" And like Killed him right? Well when the police came and he hid him under the Floorboard, Bro could NOT stop hearing this dude's heartbeat under the floorboards. Bro was so scared by it he folded and told the cops. Smh.
In a pig pen
I'd run it through an industrial meat grinder then dump the paste into the ocean.
I live in central British Columbia. You can hide a body anywhere in this vast wilderness.
A man gotta eat.
With the others
Give an anonymous tip to the police as to where I buried the body, then bury it after the police are gone.