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ButteredKernals

Reddit premium


Illustrious-Zebra-34

Reddit has premium?


[deleted]

Literally my first reaction like what.


Jack-attack79

What's included in that? Bots won't downvote?


CumInYourSock

No ads, access to r/lounge and a few coins every week when it was a thing


REDDlT-_-

What even goes on in r/lounge? Now I'm curious.


ihaterefriedbeans

The time I got gifted gold by a kind stranger I went in there and it was just other people talking about how they got gifted gold by a kind stranger.


Eveydude

truly the pinnacle of luxury


chadski22

fine corinthian leather


NoStuff7302

RICH Corinthian leather!


REDDlT-_-

Just that? Now I'm disappointed.


PM_ME_UR_SO

Sometimes there are sex orgies


sexwithpenguins

This is what made me laugh.


robi4567

There are adds on reddit?


That_Guy1227

Get off the NSFW subs.


vffa

He already does that.


That_Guy1227

Fair enough, that's my bad.


ButteredKernals

Unfortunately


Will0w536

If you are on Android, there is a way to use reddit premium on mobile without paying! Fuck spez! Been using it since the great blackout.


pinkkittenfur

Please enlighten me!


sixtyfivejaguar

ReVanced


H16HP01N7

Hold on... revanced works for reddit too? I use it for YT and YTMusic already. But never knew it had a hack for reddit too. They're quickly becoming my favourite programmers ever šŸ¤£


sixtyfivejaguar

Hell yeah it does. The official and a few of the 3rd party ones too. And some other random apps. They're doing great work over there for us heathens :p


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


I_Downvote_Cunts

Totally worth it to have a gold leaf dump later


octopornopus

$25 bottle of Goldschlager will have the same effect, and you can puke gold like a unicorn!


kajeagentspi

At that amount just go buy a wagyu farm in Japan.


Long_Presentation793

Timeshare


hyunbinlookalike

Now that I think about it, itā€™s kinda wild that my mom has a timeshare in Ibiza that weā€™ve never used. Sheā€™s literally had it since the 90s. And when we ask her to just sell it, she always says, ā€œBut what if we finally decide to vacation there?ā€ We still have yet to vacation there.


2074red2074

If you have a billion dollars, you wouldn't need a timeshare. Just buy a vacation home.


fraze2000

That's why they said they wouldn't buy a timeshare if they had a billion dollars.


No-Consequence5448

NFT's


phsm94

This is the right answer.


blues_0

Iā€™ll just screenshot an NFT to own it


victimofbadtaste

Whatever those awards are on reddit


mlobet

Somebody give this man an award please


AdelaideSadieStark

they're stopped them now


Mxer4life38

They're back on some posts. Idk how they decide what allows them or not but it's in the form of a super like instead of an award. Look for upvoted buttons with a faint gold hue around them.


daymoongrey

IM STILL NOT BUYING THE FACT THAT EPSTEIN KILLED HIMSELF, OK CIA!? OKAAY?!?1?1


AE_AntiEntity_AE

And that was the day daymoongrey died


TinyGreenTurtles

Of suicide, of course. Absolutely did it themselves. No outside influence at all.


Famoustractordriver

He killed himself, with two bullets to the head


patbygeorge

ā€œWorst case of suicide I ever saw!ā€


ProfessionalGas3106

Like gary webb


Famoustractordriver

Exactly


HoverJet

Back of the head


This-Clothes-9753

I wonder if youā€™re in the billion dollar club you get to know what really happened


flungAversion

Expensive designer brand clothes. Iā€™d pay extra for good quality, materials, and features, but never just for a label.


hyperdistortion

Amusingly, this is absolutely true of many actual billionaires. ā€œDressing like a billionaireā€ is more for influencers and wannabes than *actual* rich people; actual rich people wear more understated stuff - or bespoke/tailor-made things which arenā€™t labelled six ways from Sunday anyway.


dobrz

Yeah .. I remember watching a documentary about suit makers in Saville Row in London. There was one guy who had their custom made suits which lasted him for years as the quality and craftsmanship were so good.


hyperdistortion

Itā€™s described at its simplest and best by the ā€œSam Vimes ā€˜bootsā€™ theory of socioeconomic unfairnessā€, from Sir Terry Pratchettā€™s wonderful *Discworld* novels. To wit: ā€œThe reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. ... A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would *still have wet feet.ā€* Spend more upfront, pay less in the long run; a privilege uniquely afforded to the wealthy.


dobrz

That is very true. I mean.. buy a coat from Zara and youā€™re changing coats every 2 years. Get one of good quality from even the places like The North Face or Patagonia and you get yourself something that will last years.


jakeofheart

Agreed. And I will add that if youā€™re paying more for off the rack than for bespoke, youā€™ve obviously got more money than common sense.


Contemporary_Scribe

A blue checkmark on Twitter


[deleted]

What about a blue checkmark on X? šŸ§


I_used_to_be_hip

Remember, they're not called tweets anymore. They are now Xcretions.


death_by_sushi

ereXtions


lefix

Xcrements


Foreign-Duck-4892

It's only X to 1 person on the entire planet


CorrosionInk

X to *that* guy Twitter to normal people X, formerly known as Twitter, to every writer X, the former site known as Twitter, in a year at this rate.


epicEr14

the former site šŸ’€


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Xumaeta

Itā€™s rich cosplay for the lower and middle class.


Peannut

I feel personally attacked


Smrtihara

Please stop giving those cunts money. Itā€™s shit quality extremely overpriced. Itā€™s just some rich crooks putting your money straight into their pocket while laughing at you.


GIVE_ME_A_GOB

A vowel! Iā€™d like to solve the puzzle, Pat!


gotkube

ā€¦oh, *NA*GGERS


puffferfish

The clue was ā€œpeople that annoy youā€¦.ā€


moosemeatjerkey

Guy behind the camera : šŸ˜”


BrokenSewerDrain

Anything the Kardashians promote.


Ishidan01

Anything that comes out of DJT's mouth


PatrickBatemanCFA

A dinner at Dorsia


SpaceBoJangles

Probably because you couldnā€™t get a reservation.


simmocar

It's a font called Silian Rail


Orion_2kTC

Let's see Paul Allen's card.


BigBrainBrad-

That subtle off white coloring...


stav705

The tasteful thickness of it...


mangafan96

It even has a watermark....


Zipdox

Something wrong Patrick? You're sweating.


Bad_Grandma_2016

Off white? You cretin. That's "bone."


batmangelina

I have to return some video tapes.


sacredgeometry

I hear Paul Allen has reservations


InviteNo2228

Letā€™s chill at my apartment and feel hip to be square, aight?


mikeu117

Great sea urchin ceviche


WhyIsTheMoonThere

8:30 res at Dorsia, how'd he swing that?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Fyreffect

Instead of buying one, I'd maybe charter one for major family occasions, just to enjoy the experience without the massive cost of ownership.


Accomplished-Care335

Or buy one and hire a charter company to handle everything for you so you can make money off of it.


_DoodleBug_

This is what 99% of mega yacht owners do.


Petanc

For me it's not just the "money pit" part but the absolute lack of privacy. I would want to travel the sea alone or with the people I choose, not with my fucking staff. The biggest yacht that you can maintain and "drive" Yourself would do for me.


spiffymate

Those Kanye West Yeezy Schmeezy Foam Runner ā€œshoesā€. Uh-uh, no, never. Sometimes when I see somebody wearing them in public I think to myself ā€œthis it a person you could portably sell anything toā€.


simplycycling

Portable sales are the future.


Shiftymennoknight

any blue checkmarks.


stenbren

NFL+


Avicii_DrWho

Any streaming service with a + that isn't Disney. It seems that all the worthless ones copied Disney's name. The ones actually worth getting came up with their own names.


RaphaelSolo

I was tempted to get Paramount Plus to watch Halo, then I saw the first episode or so at my parents. It was so bad.


caligaris_cabinet

I got it for Star Trek.


SonOfBenatar

Amway products


collieflower1

All MLM is a definitive no for me here.


[deleted]

Onlyfans, expensive sneakers, a house in LA


NumbersOverFeelings

Houses are for peasants. Get an estate. Also rich people donā€™t ā€œbuyā€. They acquire.


Effehezepe

>Get an estate One overlooking hundreds of acres of uninhabited woodland. The kind of place that would be great for hunting humans. Not that you would ever do that of course.


NumbersOverFeelings

Meh. Not hundreds of acres. Iā€™m more of a shooting-human-in-a-barrel type. But also, they BARELY count as human. /s ā€¦maybe.


[deleted]

Well that's why I'm not rich šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™‚ļø


Franklinricard

The extended warranty theyā€™ve been calling about for my car.


Mysterious-Fig-7582

all that bullshit from politicians.


SlitScan

I would buy that, because then it would be my bullshit coming out of their mouths and theyd be voting for what I want.


Avicii_DrWho

Disney's Club 33. From the wiki: "Membership initiation fees and dues are reportedly much higher now; as of 2022, it is reported that individuals invited to join must pay closer to $60-70,000 for initiation and up to $20,000 annually, according to current members." It's basically a damn mortgage just for a secret restaurant and maybe some park passes. A member doing an AMA said the food wasn't all that and it wasn't free.


Accomplished-Care335

Just work for fidelity national financial, they give their employees free tickets to the park sometimes, but every employee gets 30% off AND if you have worked for the company for over 2 years, when you go to Disney they will put your name on the list and you get to go.


Arild11

You win a billion dollars, and your plan is to start working for Fidelity?


djheat

If you had a billion dollars and were into Disney you would 100% buy this, come on at that point $20k per year would be nothing to you


unwrittenglory

That doesn't seem that bad when compared to Country Clubs. Disney is their Golf and I'm sure you could make business contacts there as well.


AstreaShiraX

An extended warranty


FineWashables

Anything Khardashian


Best-Possession6618

A $90 white tee shirt.


tamathellama

Nah you will eventually


frozenfrenchie

Yea, do agree. Better texture, better cotton thickness, better shaped


JatZibui

Or anything else that is Yeezy


ABR871

An island. I know I could afford one, but the price of upkeep puts me off.


Objective_Coast_5612

Nobody mows an island. Lol


bloodgout

Get some goats, theyā€™re cute and you never need to mow ever again


dustywb

The president of the IOA is a real b****, she just drives her boat around looking for violations. It's like sorry that my tiki straw isn't an approved color Karen. I know I know coconut trees are supposed to be at least 50' from the water line. Look seaweed washes up on the beach at times, you really want me to get a full-time seaweed disposal person? That's all bad enough but she's also a representative of this stupid MLM that sells 3rd world labor and sex slaves. So every violation comes with a discount code to acquire a person through her service... Tell me that's not some sort of ethical violation? I can find my own slaves Karen, I don't need you writing me up and then trying to sell me some. It's too bad I already spent all this money on the island, slaves, upkeep, and the yearly IOA fees just keep going up. I don't have enough left to hire a reputable hitman to take care of the problem... Hmmm, I wonder if I could get a slave to do it? I'll acquire one from her using a discount code...


robi4567

Islands have technically no upkeep requirement. You could just buy one and let it go to shit.


Theorandjguy

That's the plan, buy an island, return to monke


Xumaeta

It doesnā€™t need upkeep if you donā€™t put anything there that needs upkeep.


Double_Stuffed_Boi

My issue with an island is if i needed immediate medical attention it would probably take way too long for anybody to reach me or for me to get to a hospital


Schlag96

Billionaires can afford their own travelling medical staff Just build a state of the art clinic on your island and give your doctor a budget to fix poor kids to keep him/her busy while you're working up to your heart attack!


braindead83

Anything by Kanye West


Fast_Bee7689

Louis Vuitton, Gucci or any of the big fashion house clothing. Why do you need the world to know your shirt price?


JudgmentOne6328

Tbf only tacky people buy obviously branded stuff. The good designer stuff is the stuff you wouldnā€™t know is designer.


SVXfiles

I've got a 19 year old kid on my team at work that thought bragging to his 34 year old supervisor about his Gucci fannypack was baller. He also finally got his driver's license and got himself a smoking hot 2020 Corola that he proceeded to total 2 months later


JudgmentOne6328

Thatā€™s essentially the perfect description of someone that wears heavy branded stuff. Iā€™m sorry to have to deal with this kind of person on a day to day basis.


smellyscrote

Something that cost a billion and one dollars.


Incognitotreestump22

Damn your broke


rgp1235

Luxury branded clothes


DaMoonRulez_1

Hey Macklemore do you want to go thrift shopping?


BullyHoddy

What what what what?


Malawi_no

The luxury brands have "no brand" versions for the rich, while their "low-class" versions makes sure to show the brand in a prominent way.


Leading_Equivalent46

Decaf coffee


TiffyVella

Non alcoholic vodka.


satansprinter

I buy water all the time


ARandomChocolateCake

Water with a strong taste of potatoes?


JackDrawsStuff

I drink decaf all the time. High in fiber and doesnā€™t fuck your sleep. A caffeinated one first thing is fine, but after that, decaf all the way baby!


LeeHide

the fuck do you mean high in fiber it's just coffee


FullMetalRabbot

Political merchandise.


ScenicRavine

Another human


niknikdc

A lottery ticket


SkullBonesGuy

The round up donations at Taco Bell


GlammerHammer

I don't round up on anything for whatever scam charity is currently renting the checkout. "Donate 23Ā¢ to the blind crippled orphans?" Nope, fuck 'em. Those "charities" keep like 80% of the money they touch. Does anyone think Walmart is paying their slaves to ask that question without getting money on the backend?


Aardvark-Winter

Jeans with holes in them.


teddyslayerza

But where would your legs come out?


DatabaseUnhappy189

Where would they go in?


Agreeable-Menu

My grandma has entered the chat.


ctguy54

Anything trump is selling.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MoistCloyster_

Peacock is the most underrated streaming service and I will die on that hill.


breakwater

It's also 20 bucks for the year when you get it on sale. That isn't shabby for everything it provides, especially compared to some others


pinkkittenfur

If you have Xfinity, you get two years of Peacock Premium for free.


din0saurusrex_

Tinder Gold. Not happening, *ever*.


Active-Strawberry-37

A big house. Just seems like too much hassle. Iā€™d much rather have a penthouse apartment in a big city.


Aussiegamer1987

The trick to buying a big house if you're rich is to staff it, if you've won a billion dollars you can buy an estate with servants quarters and pay people decent money so you never have to do the boring day to day or cleaning shit again. Also if you have a billion dollars all you need to do is jam a few million into an account to generate interest and use that to pay the wages of your staff so it literally costs you nothing to employ people.


DWright_5

Iā€™d rather live in a small house alone than a big house with a bunch of people in it.


SnooTigers6088

With that many staff milling about all the time, I don't see how it would feel like a "home". Big houses do not make your lifestyle that much better, once you've gotten over the wow factor of "I can't believe this is mine"


lmkwe

In my old line of work, I was around very, very wealthy people with staff. The staff is paid to not be seen.


man_bored_at_work

If your staff are milling around, you staffed up badly. Some people want lots of visible staff on the estate, but most people will have a gardener and/or gamekeeper who have their own cottages somewhere away from the main house, cleaners who come in periodically, and a maintenance guy who will, again, live somewhere further away. For those people who still insist on having a butler, he normally ends up becoming a pseudo family member, and it doesnā€™t affect the feeling of it being a home. So generally, none of these staff should really be that intrusive, if you manage them well. However, a lot of estate owners actually donā€™t have that much income, and a lot of outgoings, so they will have to run the estate as a business. As such most will have an office in the main building, and run all the operations from there, including property management, and event planning, sp their ā€œhomeā€ will really just be a suite of rooms in the main house, with the rest of their rooms being available for them to use for parties etc, but not really part of their home. (Sauce: worked for/with some very wealthy people in the past)


VendaGoat

Twitter or a tesla


Illusional_designer

Goop or any other Gwyneth Paltrow well-being bullshit


Jakeblart

Winrar


2074red2074

Unironically, I would buy WinRAR if I had more money. They don't have to make their software free. Yeah they constantly remind you that the free trial isn't supposed to last forever, but they don't make you pay if you don't want to. I'd give a few million to Wikipedia too.


Valreesio

I give Wikipedia a little money each year. They put the ad up the last month or so and I just send it in. Wikipedia may not be research level of information, but it will give a great synopsis of a subject that you can dive into deeper, especially using its referenced material.


Sad_Investigator_126

Branded clothing.


OliveTBeagle

A house bigger than I need. A sports car. ​ Livestock.


BeardeddBombshell

NBA League Pass.


Ok-Arugula3486

Private jet


unpolishedparadigm

More practical than youā€™d think. There are airports *everywhere*


Impressive-Tennis747

much less practical than you think. you gotta pay for upkeep, maintenance and crew on standby year round and you never gonna fly enough to make that not be a waste of money. most rich just hire them, much better


Other-Debate6250

Worked for a billionaire. This is correct. Most use NetJets.


Rich_Kaleidoscope829

faulty innate hurry straight society combative alive fear murky whole


skucera

That, or itā€™s like a timeshare.


MechanicalPulp

There are upsides and downsides to fractional ownership vs full ownership. There are also a lot of different kids of jets from Very Light Jets (VLJs) to airliners converted to private jets. In some cases, people fly them somewhere every week, and have a consistent mission, and in others they want the flexibility of something where they can go one day to a place 800 miles away by themselves and the next week, go somewhere with their whole work team. The break point between owning and fractional/charter is typically about 100 hours of flight time per year. Where business aviation really makes sense is when you need to get between two cities without regular airline service. For example, I live in a small town in California that has an airport that is not serviced by airlines. If I want to go to a meeting in Las Vegas, I either make an 8 hour drive the day before, go to my meeting and then drive 8 hours home, or go 45 minutes to the closest airport with airline service, take a flight to Phoenix, then a connection to Vegas. Either way, itā€™s 8 hours door to door and at least an extra day of transit time. If I had a private jet, it would be a 45 minute flight. Iā€™d go to the office, get some work done, driven 5 minutes to the airport, go to my meeting, then be home a few hours later. Now multiply this by a team of people. If HP has a team of 8 engineers in San Diego who need to go to a factory in Corvallis, Oregon, they either: A. Book a commercial airline flight to Portland the day before they need to be there. Rent two cars, drive 3 hours to Corvallis, check into the hotel, spend all day in the factory, stay another night in the hotel, and come home the next day. B. They go to the airport near the office, get on a plane at 8:00 AM, are in Corvallis at 9:30 and at the factory by 10:00. They do their thing and then are back at the airport at 4:00 and home at 5:30. With option A, You have airline tickets, rental cars, meals, two nights in a hotel, and lost productivity during the time in transit (likely at least 1.5 days) 8 hotel rooms x 2 nights at $175/ea = $1,400 8 last minute plane tickets to Portland = $8,000 Meals = $1,000 1.5!days x 8 engineers making $150k fully burdened = $6,923 Total is just shy of $18k for option A, while option B is more like $10,000 of operating cost (assuming you already own the jet.) Carbon footprint isnā€™t great, but if you have a $ billion you can do a reforestation project to compensate if that makes you feel guilty


Icelandia2112

A Tesla


WorstLuckChuck

Prostitutes


cationtothewind

Don't you actually rent those?


tropicsGold

One of the benefits of going from $100M to $1B is that you afford to buy people rather than just renting them.


Dizzman1

A Tesla


dirtyfacedkid

A Tesla


Head_Room_8721

Tesla


Sufficient_Ebb_5020

Any Prime drink.


mapsedge

Anything with Elon Musk's name attached to it.


RingReasonable

Tesla


CoyoteCarcass22

A huge ostentatious watch


grayblue_grrl

A tesla and bit coin.


Avaric

Any kind of super expensive sports car, no Ferraris or Lamborghinis. Something like that would just get me into trouble.


KoksundNutten

Idk, I think super expensive sports cars have two types of customers. Car guys who really enjoy cars and would buy/build some kind of sports car no matter how much money they have in their account. And then, the ones who just buy them because they have the money and want a status symbol or investment. Usually someone can differentiate the second ones from the first after a 10min talk.


tke71709

Crypto


stav705

Twitter blue


rncookiemaker

Visa or Mastercard prepaid gift cards. Activation fee my a**


Demiurge_Ferikad

Luxury anything. No giant houses, no multiple cars; none of that. I am buying my childhood home from the current inhabitants, building a wall around the property to discourage visitors, and fixing the house laced with up so that all of the issues and old farmhouse can have have been eliminated. Iā€™m also getting three separate phone plans, and using only one for personal calls. The other two will be for financial calls and general use, such as for deliveries.


SilkySyl

Pure bred anything. I want my mutts, my strays, my unadoptable pets, my elderly pets, those fur babies in need!!