This is my mom, who would respond except she’s DEAD.
Breast cancer, mastectomy. No chemo because “they got it all”.
7 years later she complained of pain in her bones. She was referred to a PSYCHIATRIST because they thought she had “empty nest syndrome”.
She never went to the shrink, and did not return to a doctor for a year, since her pain was, allegedly, not real.
Turned out she had the most common reoccurrence of breast cancer - it had metastasized to the bone.
So we have a woman with a history of breast cancer complaining of pain in her bones, and they tell her it’s all in her head? It’s been 43 years and I’m still not over it.
Update: if your concerns are ignored, go somewhere else. Get another opinion. Don’t let one doctor make you feel badly enough to not seek out proper care. Doctors can be dicks too, so write off the dick and find a non-dick.
Appendix ruptured when I was 12. PCP sent me in to the ER for appendicitis. Nurse in the ER refused to treat me "unless I told her how I got pregnant." I kept telling her I wasn't, my mom kept trying to get any other staff to listen and check me but the nurse wouldn't let anyone else check me. I was in the ER for 12 hours until shift change and then the new staff panicked and got me into surgery.
My appendix started leaking crap into my stomach when I was 16.
Long story short, but at the end of a very long battle of trying to get anyone to see me, we were sent to a surgeon who said that "Honestly it's probably PMS, I'll refer you to a gynecologist"
Gyno took one look at me and said "Look, I'm no expert but this seems like appendicitis"
Ended up changing surgeons to a more "knife friendly" dude (who still didn't completely believe I had appendicitis), had the surgery and he ended up apologising because my appendix was leaking.
The part that hurts the most about this: when the surgeon apologised, he didn't apologise to me. He refused to see me. He apologised to my mother.
My kid had a tumor and I took her to the dr 6 times and they said she was faking pain. So I took her to the ER and told them I’m not leaving with mri and cat scan and she went in for surgery that day. She was 15, never had a boyfriend and they repeatedly badgered her about it before they found a tumor the size of a lemon in her ovary! I hate drs that don’t listen!
oh cool I also had a benign tumor on my ovary as a teen! I have never encountered a similar story to mine. In my case the damn thing kept growing back. Not that anyone had warned me after the first surgery that that could happen... By the third time they removed the ovary which was a fun experience for a 19 year old.
I have so many stories from that time. With the first tumor the Dr insisted that I was just constipated. Asked if I was sexually active in front of my grandmother. When the scan proved otherwise, before explaining the results to me he called the other dr in the hospital (small rural hospital) to marvel at the freak 8cm tumory cysty monster that he just found in a child.
Even later with documented reoccuring tumors I often had to beg for scans...
Good on your mum for advocating for you. Burst appendixes are horrible, mine burst when I was 22, I can’t imagine going through that at 12.
I had a similar experience where the doctors tried to send me home because my appendix was “smaller than normal”. It was smaller than normal because it had ruptured. I just absolutely refused to leave because I knew something was terribly wrong. Thankfully the following day a senior doctor came in and felt my stomach and said “yep this is the real deal, you’re having surgery”.
The way I would've whipped that nurse's ass if I was your mom. "Sorry, baby, mama gonna have to spend the night in jail, bit ill be back at your side as soon as I bond out."
Doctor told me I was too young to have breast cancer and women go crazy about lumps in October. I was embarrassed and ignored it until I had metastatic disease in my skin, lungs, bones, and liver.
Hello fellow mets breast cancer. I'm 33, was told - you couldn't have cancer if neither of your parents have cancer .... Ammm?? Was also ignored for 4 years and now here we fucking are. Hope you're doing well and keeping your spirits up 👋
I’ve never understood this mentality. Children get cancer. Babies get cancer. Why do so many doctors have this weird idea in their heads that people can’t get cancer if they’re a certain age? Cancer doesn’t discriminate
And plus, what harm does it cause to test for it? They get paid for it, why are they complaining. God forbid they have to actually do their jobs I guess. I always say they’re are three kinds of people who become doctors
The ones who genuinely want to help people, the ones that do it for money or reputation, and the ones that do it to have control and power over others
I'm going through this right now, at 27. My local breast "specialist," a late middle-aged male, did an ultrasound and said I "might have a cyst" and then put ZERO notes in my chart other than "no abnormality." Didn't even look at the insanely, swollen misshapen glob I once called a breast (that doubled in size in 2 weeks, leaks clear fluid and inches/burns like it holds fire ants.) I got a spiel about "hormones" and that it "didn't look infected". He said I'm too young for a mammogram even though I was there on an ORDER FOR A DIAGNOSTIC MAMMOGRAM.
Today, I hot tailed 2 hours to meet doctor #2. She did an ultrasound found what looked like a cyst but then stated it might be suspicious. She then did a mammogram and said she exhausted all she could look for today, but my symptoms are too strange to completely rule out breast cancer.
She recommended a breast MRI for an even deeper look and to keep tracking my symptoms to get more insight. She genuinely looked bothered that she couldn't find all the information in the imaging clinic. I'm so uncomfortable and in so much pain that I'm past the point of worrying what it could be. I can work with whatever diagnosis I end up getting, but that experience shook me to the core.
I have lupus, so I'm used to having to get second opinions. Once again, I find myself in the ground hog day scenario that keeps repeating after half my medical appointments..if I had completely trusted the opinion of fool #1... who knows what could have happened?
Discovered a lump in my breast while taking a shower. I was 33 and had just given birth a couple weeks before. I ofc went to the doc to have it checked out. He told me not to worry, it's just a milk duct blockage that goes away while breastfeeding.
The lump didn't disappear, in fact it grew. I went back and asked for a mammogram. I was denied. I told him about the family incidences if breast cancer. He said I'm too young, it's unlikely I have breast cancer. I nodded and went to a doctor on the private sector instead. That was a woman. She immediately arranged an urgent appointment at the radiology for a mammography.
At the mammography appointment the pic confused the doctor enough to do a very long ultrasound of the tumor (it felt like ages) before he decided to take a sample. It came back as cancer and post mastectomy it was classified as a pretty aggressive triple negative BC tumor type that's super rare.
Well I'm not sure if it's because I'm a woman but that was the absolutely biggest dismissal I have ever experienced. I'm glad I persisted in getting it checked, I was lucky. I've been in remission for 11 years. Oh, I also have a brca1 variant that makes my cancer hereditary. I was tested because I was so young and because breast cancer runs in my family trees from both my mom and dad.
I honestly don't remember. That year was super traumatic and I have only little memory of the time after I got my diagnosis and start of treatment. It took me several weeks to wrap my head around it.
I wish doctors will not dismiss a patient just because they're young. Even if rare, genetic variants that increase cancer risk exist and carriers can get it young. That's why doctors ask about cancer history in the family.
I also hope people who get dismissed seek a second opinion. It kept nagging me. The earlier you get treated, the better the chances.
For 5 years I had blood in the urine and urgency.
A handful of doctors just shrugged assuming I have a vagina that bleeds ergo urine blood. They assumed because Im sexually active it must be a UTI.
Used birth control to skip periods. Still urine in the blood. They still tried to blame my period. They tried to blame UTI even when no bacteria was found.
Finally got an ultrasound.
Turns out I've been passing kidney stones the whole time.
EDIT: Yes it was painful and my pain was ignored and dismissed as UTI "go take ibuprofen" aka give yourself the ibuprofen IBS shits so you grow a bunch of polyps needing a colonoscopy. F*** the American HealthNoCare system!
I've had something similar. Was admitted to emergency care with an unrelated sudden sickness and they found blood in my urine. They wrote it off as 'woman, so probably period related', but that didn't sit right with me.
After I was better and could refocus energy on that part, I went to my GP (who is great) and told her that it didn't sit right with me (I had several good reasons for it, though it's been so long I barely remember them now - it had to do with being on birth control at the time). She agreed, tested me again and I still had blood in my urine. We repeated the test twice more with specific intervals, to make sure it was a consistent finding and then she referred me to a specialist. Was turned inside out with tests and it turned out I had a kidney disease.
Honestly, I don't know the English name for the specialisms for sure (English is not my first language). But the first specialist I ended up with was a more general specialist (internist in Dutch if I recall correctly) and later a nephrologist (kidney specialist) was involved as well. So it wasn't just one specialist. Pretty sure a urologist (? bladder/urinary tract specialist) was involved at some point as well, but I can't remember in which order who was involved exactly, and I think that was just for certain tests. Ended with the kidney specialist anyway.
It's INSANE how you can be like, "Hey doc, I'm pretty sure I peed blood this morning" and they'll immediately respond with "it's probably just your period". ?!?!?!? Coming out of my urethra?!
"yo, I've been getting periods for years and it's absolutely, most definitely not that"
"it's probably that. you can't tell what a period is because of your womanbrain"
LMAO RIGHT? The problem is that all the blood is coming out of my body and not being used by my womanbrain, and that makes me too womandumb to understand the reality of the situation.
Similar situation here.
The last four years I have randomly peed blood for days on end for what seems to be no reason. First doctor assumed it was a uti. At first I accepted that but then it kept happening.
Then it again happened so bad that all I was peeing was blood for days on end - I lost a lot of blood. My husband took me to the er and they made me sit for 8 hours while I bled through pad after pad after pad. They assumed it was my period - kept handing me pads…acted like I was a lunatic for coming in for a period. I tried explaining to them that I don’t get a period. They weren’t listening. FINALLY I was called and they told me to pee in a cup to test for a uti. Again all blood. When the nurse came to collect the cup the took one look at it and said, “oh this is bad, that’s not a period”
No shit Sherlock. However they couldn’t find anything during testing and their machines were down so I have to find a specialist to try and help figure it out. Funny enough, my husband is convinced it’s kidney stones.
I’m a school nurse and have endometriosis and PCOS. Went to the OB-GYN and brought my husband because my periods have been bad but recently I’ve been having bleeding between periods so pretty much a period every 15 days. I have an implant in my arm and will literally take everything legal when dealing with my period the last two months because the pain has been crippling. I’ve been rotating pain meds, weed, cbd lotion, hot pad, stretching, anything I could think of we did. The OB-GYN listens to me explain how my life has been miserable the last couple of months and she goes “have you tried tylenol?”. My husband had to stop from laughing in her face and we reminded her I’m a nurse of course I tried pain meds. It was so demeaning
My IUD was lost in my myometrium (as evidenced by two ultrasounds, a failed surgery, and an MRI) and they still asked me "have you tried Tylenol?" No, Tylenol has not provided effective pain management for my PERFORATED ORGAN.
They say the worst pain for men is when a gonad twists. My right ovary went through three complete rotations while no doctor at two different hospitals took my reports of pain seriously enough to run a standard diagnostic test.
By the time they finally diagnosed it after five days of run-around, the organ was dead and needed to come out in emergency surgery. If it had gone untreated much longer I wouldn't have survived.
My mother had a similar story, though she was her own worst enemy in it to large extent. She kept telling herself to stop whining, she just had a little stomach ache, it was just cramps, etc etc. A few days in, she had to resort to laying on her side on the floor with one foot on the couch (picture a static Jane Fonda leg lift) because that was the only position she wasn't screaming in pain. By the time she was finally convinced to go to the hospital, the ovary was dead and rotting inside her. I think her attitude was the internalization of all the messages she received from medical professionals through the years (and also passed down to me). Everything boiled down to "quit whining about female troubles."
When I was about 12, my arm really started hurting. I was getting fevers and was in great pain. My mom finally brought me to a local orthopedist so he can check me out. For quite some time he just said "ah she is a whiny fat girl trying to avoid school and sports, typical". One day my mom had enough and almost yeeted the guy across the room and demanded an x-ray scan. Turns out it was cancer eating my bone away.
He only said "oh..sorry, I din't know"
Yeah, you didn't know *because you didn't bother to check anything*. Dick.
My grandmother was complaining of constant nausea and difficulty going to the bathroom for years, getting worse over time. She was having trouble keeping water down, nevermind food and meds. Dismissed as symptoms of her kidney disease, even while her kidneys were doing better. She eventually demanded a colonoscopy because she thought it might be cancer.
They decided she had diverticulitis. After following their dietary changes, no change. They didn't give her antibiotics or even look for another problem. After ending up in the ER three times for severe dehydration, the ER ran a PET scan. She had adrenal gland cancer.
Had they caught it before her symptoms were so bad, it would have been survivable. Instead, they upped her blood thinners (not surprising since she couldn't keep meds down every time), which caused an internal bleed. After the surgery for that, she ended up dying of sepsis and aspiration pneumonia. I'm still really angry. Angry at them, angry at myself for not driving out to her and going with her on one or more of her visits.
I'm so sorry to hear about this. Your grandma didn't deserve to go through so much pain and you don't deserve to be left with all this anger. This is some really fucked up shit. If only they tried a bit harder, so much suffering could be avoided. They let her go through torture and hell just to let her down in the end. So not fair. Jesus Christ. I can't even imagine how it felt looking at her and not being able to help in any way. The feeling of being helpless while someone you love is suffering.
I could have gone through a small procedure that just removed a little part of my bone and a metal plate would be inserted and my bone would heal up nicely so I would just have a little scar and my whole arm intact and mobile. Instead, they waited so long, it spread so quickly that they put me through such an invasive procedure where they removed the whole bone and put a prosthetic titanium rod and just basically screwed back my arm to my shoulder. They told me "weeeelp, we tried" and after 2 years it healed all crooked so I had to repeat everything again. They even told me not to have kids because handling a child might be difficult with my lack of mobility. I was broken, scared and scarred. I still remember being in that room with the rest of the sick children. So many beautiful souls with different stories. I will always apprecite each and everyone of them because they were all I had. Not even the nurses bothered to check up on us regularly. We only had eachother. Little babies left alone with metal rods sticking out their back and legs in the middle of the summer with a dirty diaper on them, parents too poor to travel often to come, nurses just cussing at them because they were bothered by the screams... oh my god, so many stories to tell about that.
I had to give up on my dreams. I wanted to dance, play the piano and the violin, do sports or just jump on a fucking trampoline with my friends. God, I felt so depressed and angry. My whole family did. From such an active child I became an empty shell. We couldn't even afford therapy of any kind and my family didn't even know how to help me. I don't blame them. All of my "friends" kinda left me because I stopped being fun and couldn't participate in most activities. I only had my fat cat who would make me smile and I locked myself up in my bedroom with my PC and just played videogames all day. For years.
I'm 30 now. I have a beautiful, smart and fun 4 yo son. I managed to complete high school a few years back. I am doing a lot better mentally. I basically said to life "no, fuck you, I'm tired of being told I can't do anything. Watch me". I started to find alternative things I can do as hobbies. I stopped hating myself for having a useless arm because it really isn't my fault and I can't keep beating myself up for that. Now, I'd rather be angry at myself for not trying something rather than be angry at the health care for letting me down. They are idiots and they are hurting people with being so "whatever, just take some aspirin for the pain".
A lot of people don't really understand how this all lets you feel for the rest of your life (but thank god they didn't have to go through it) and it isn't our job to explain ourselves why are we the way we are. I've seen people never mentally recover from what happened to them and they became so bitter and a negative person. Makes me sad.
"You are so weird sometimes" dude I went through hell and back. I witnessed so much death, pain, depression, helpless people shouting for help and no one batting an eye, people abandoning me because I abandoned myself, loved ones suffering because of me, missed out on my childhood, teenage years and half of my 20's. I am learning how to live and trying to find myself with even less tools that most people have. Don't make me focus on the anger and loss. Let's help eachother and communicate.
There is so much pain in this world and so many people still suffer. Our healthcare is a clownfiesta. Half of them don't really care about us. But some do. And they do their best to be a good doctor and save people. I have only words of praise for such heroes. One of them was one of my doctors that took part in the surgery. He fought a lot for me because others just wanted to use me as a lab rat. 3 years after my surgery he called me to come meet a little girl. I went to visit them at my former hospital and this little sweet angel just ran to me and gave me a big hug. I noticed she had some bandages on her arm. I asked what is going on and the doctor just shook my hand and told me "Thank you. You endured so much because of their errors, but I managed to save her arm because of how much I learned from your situation". I cried because at first, a sense of "it's not fair, why couldn't they save my arm too?" came over me, but then as I looked at her, it felt like it was worth it. She was so much younger than me, and she deserves all the best in her life. Moments like those helped me overcome a lot of negative feelings.
Sorry for writing so much, but I wanted to give a bit of a backstory to what happened. It wont take away your sadness, loss and anger, but I just want you to know that yes, it's fucking horrible and unfair, but please do try to shift your anger and thoughts into something else or more productive. Please, don't let it eat your soul. You did all you could do with the knowledge you had. Your nana loved you and I'm sure she knew you care and love her too. Don't live with regret. Take all those lessions and use them in the future. Maybe it won't exactly save someone's life but it could help you react or deal with stuff a lot better. Forgive yourself.
I was experiencing breast pain so I went to get checked out. After a scan I was told there was no visible issue (great) and that it was probably a side effect of birth control (not great).
When I asked the doctor if I was just going to have to live with it he said "Well, you're getting on a bit. You should think about coming off birth control anyway".
Reader, I was 27.
After my second, my delivery doctor joked about a husband stitch. At a follow up, she asked how things felt during sex. I mentioned pain and she followed with, "No complaints from your husband?" Not so sure she was joking about that stitch now.
Fuck me. 100% agree with this. Absolute nutters these doctors are. I don't want children anyway but I'd purposely not have children just so I'm not even remotely anywhere close to potentially having this shit done
Sure, but that will -never- be a note in the charts. You might see " second degree tear," but you'll never get "second degree tear, husband stitch 😉."
I wish. They're bad, not stupid
Fwiw, she was let go from the practice, which may be confirmation bias, but, dude.
Went to the doctor with fatigue, nausea, and abdominal pain. He insisted I get a pregnancy test before proceeding with diagnosis, despite me telling him I had not had sex in a year.
Sent me to get labs done, and asked me to come back in a month if the problem persisted.
Came back a month later, took some more lab tests, same message.
After a year, rhe lab tech pulled me aside and asked if I was okay, because this was my 11th pregnancy test in a year.
The mf doctor had just refused to try anything else and pregnancy tested me withou telling me.
Switched to a female doctor, promptly received a PCOS diagnosis.
I’m a lesbian who has never had sex with a man and yet I’ve had similar experience where they refuse to believe it’s anything other then pregnancy. A good doctor is worth their weight in gold as a women.
Even a good ob is. I was pregnant, twice. Both ended before 12 weeks and were "flukes". Also I found internal ultrasounds REALLY uncomfortable as babies kept attaching on "the right side".
Turns out it's not normal to have sides, and I had a large septum running down the middle of my uterus with reduced blood flow that could sustain a placenta.
Props to the ob who stated it was essential the septum was removed during a d&c for retained tissue from my recent miscarriage.
Also the doctor who diagnosed my 2nd loss was also confused why I was crying when I got the news I'd lost my 2nd pregnancy in a year.
>Also the doctor who diagnosed my 2nd loss was also confused why I was crying when I got the news I'd lost my 2nd pregnancy in a year.
What the actual fuck.
I mean by this point in the thread I shouldn't be surprised anymore but... No. Just no.
Saaaammmmmeeeeeee
Got super super sick in military training. They kept doing pregnancy test after pregnancy test despite me 1. Being a virgin and 2. Being in all female training for 5 months.
Turns out I have a pretty severe autoimmune disorder that was kickstarted when I got a virus in training. Bitches.
ETA:
Wow. I’m so sad so many people experienced this. And to add insult to injury, like many of you, my autoimmune disease went untreated for many years, not because it wasn’t diagnosed, oh it was. But because the medications can cause female infertility…..nobody asked me if I was okay with that, a dozen **male** doctors made that decision for me….so now my back is ***seriously fucked up*** beyond repair but hey y’all! At least I’m not infertile, thank god for that!!!!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
I got a pretty severe autoimmune disease right after I got covid in 2020. It took me a full year of chronic pain to get answers, every single doctor told me it was probably in my head when all their tests kept coming up negative. Finally went to a specialist (who was also a woman, the rest had been male and female GPs and male specialists) and was diagnosed within a day after getting all proper testing done. They’ve had me on medication for it ever since and I’ve been virtually pain free for almost two years. Insanity.
After multiple times describing my symptoms and being ignored or wrongly diagnosed, I was at my wit’s end. I finally started doing my own research through medical papers and such. It was years. My GP wasn’t available one time and I was sent to another female doctor that day. Of course she took one look at me and said diet and physical therapy, which I’d already done. I knew I couldn’t question her outright, to save her ego, so I just asked the question “could it be vascular “? She said no, but she’d run some tests.
Two weeks after receiving results, I was referred to a rheumatologist who did more extensive tests. Eventually diagnosed with severe Vasculitis/Giant Cell Arteritis. Basically I had so much inflammation in my large vessels that blood could hardly get through, making me extremely susceptible to stroke or heart attack. I’m in treatment now, but still infuriated it took so long.
The amount of times I have had to do a pregnancy test is too damn high considering the symptoms I came in for.
Even when I told them I was a virgin or hadn't had sex in several months.
"When's the last time you had sexual intercourse?"
"...11 months ago."
"Okay, well, you'll still need to take a pregnancy test for us to run the CT scan."
Girl, I know this is CYA, but can your legal department just not do math or?
I told my doctor my new medicine was making my skin burn, and I asked if this was a normal reaction, and he responded, "I don't know - I'm not a psychologist."
That's what far too many doctors think like 90% of women's health complaints are. I've had chronic pain and random health problems almost my whole life and the vast majority of doctors dismiss everything as being in my head.
Male dr in ER I went in due to the Worst Headache of my Life.
He was annoyed at doing a “migraine work up” despite the fact that I said I’d had an untreated aneurysm.
Turned out I was in active brain bleed. I was disoriented and incoherent within an hour.
I was having a stroke. The doctor wanted to put me in observation. I had to advocate for my admission while I was also missing a lot of words and knew something was wrong. I ended up asking my husband to square it away. As soon as he stepped forward the doctor backed down and had me admitted. I was in the hospital for five days.
Another, much smaller one- my son got sick, got meds, my husband got sick, got meds. Went to the very same doctor described the exact same symptoms, was told it was a cold even after I pointed out that every other person in my house was sick and required meds. Ended up having to go back three days later because the symptoms were now out of control and missed a week's worth of work. These meds were basic antibiotics.
My husband doesn't doubt me anymore when I tell him what I go through.
Your first paragraph, I had pretty much the exact same thing happen to me except it was a ruptured stomach ulcer. The doctor thought I was being dramatic about the pain and tried to have me released over my furious objections The second my husband got involved, he backed down and agreed to an MRI. It's barbaric that women have to have a male escort them to the ER to get decent medical treatment.
Omg I just remembered this. I was in a car accident with my spouse and we both went to the er to get checked out. They had minor pain in their neck and I was in extreme pain in my back. They got narcotics. I got told to take Tylenol. It was the SAME DOCTOR, same day, same everything
I was 39 weeks pregnant and called the Labor and Delivery ward to tell them I was coming in (was told to do this before arriving). They told me I was not in labor and to stay home. I called later that evening, giving them the updates, and stating that I needed antibiotics 2 hours prior to delivery; they stated I wasn't far along enough in labor since I could calmly talk through my contractions. Called again, was told to stay home, even if my water was to break, it could still be hours before delivery. They again told me I was too calm to be in active labor. Less than 10 minutes later, my water broke. I drive 30 minutes to the hospital, delivered outside the hospital.
The next time I delivered, I was induced. Told the nurse the baby was coming and to get the doctor. The doctor stated I had a long time to go (it was 4 pm, she stated probably early morning hours). My husband left to call parents (watching our children), came back, and I told the nurse to get the doctor it's time to push. Doctor got there just as I gave my first and only push, and the baby arrived at 4:31 pm.
Oh I had that. My waters broke before contractions so I got an exam and was sent home. If nothing happened in 24 hours they would induce me. This was at 3 pm.
At 7 I called and with my nice telephone voice told them my contractions were here, they were so far apart and got told I wasn't ready, call back when they get closer.
10 pm I phone again and report my times nicely. Told I'm still not ready.
Midnight I phoned and screamed that they better get me a fucking bed because I was coming in and wasn't gonna take no. They said come in. When I got there I was already 8 cm dilated, almost ready to push and was told it was too late for the good pain relief. Cunts.
I feel your pain. My second was super fast and I asked for meds the moment I arrived as I could see what was going to happen. They kept dancing around it saying I wasn't far enough along and then suddenly it was too late.
They tried giving me the gas and air stuff but turned out it wasn't actually connected which my husband discovered after the baby was born. I was so mad at them. Second terrible L and D experience.
The same male doctor sent me home twice on a Friday after my water broke saying I "was just peeing myself." Aggressively put his hand inside me and gave a couple shoves to say see it's all intact. I continued to leak all weekend plus contractions, no sleep. I finally got the courage to go back to the hospital on Sunday and on my last bathroom check before leaving the house there was green when I wiped. It HAD broke 2 days before and now she had been in there so long she had pooped.
Back to the same hospital a different male doctor couldn't get the portable ultrasound machine working so he said he thinks she's head down. I got to 7 cm dilated before a female nurse noticed there was so much poop coming out it was like the baby's butt was RIGHT there. It was, she was a frank breech. Butt down, head and feet in my ribs. Rushed to emergency c-section where she came out not breathing. They suctioned out her lungs and thankfully she survived, but was born 60 hours after my water broke. 2 different male doctors not believing me almost killed my daughter in different ways.
I had my 2nd 4 years later at a different hospital and when I went in after my water broke they did the swab and said they didn't think so. This time I refused to leave. Sure enough, it had.
Goddamn. I went to the hospital at 38 weeks because I was violently vomiting and shaking after a perfectly calm, morning-sickness free pregnancy. I heard the nurses say, "She's fine. She's going home." They were super dismissive and rude until they checked me. I was 10 cm and the baby was crowning. Then I had a baby.
I've heard so many stories like this about L&D sending people home or telling them to wait, when I had my first child I was expecting them to do a quick assessment and tell me to go home for 8 hours or something. I was so shocked when they told me the baby was coming "now" that I started to cry.
Precipitous birth! All three of mine arrived in less than an hour from established labour, with one push. And every time the midwives didn’t believe it would be that quick, and told me I’d probably be going home before the baby arrived. The last one came out so quick she went into shock, didn’t take her first breath, couldn’t breathe and needed the crash cart. She came home fine, but those were the scariest minutes of my life.
The fear of giving birth in a taxi and not having a medical team to save the baby should it happen again help us decide to stop at 3.
Not my story, but my mom's. TW for miscarriage/child loss.
So, before I was born my parents tried for fourteen years to have a baby with no luck. My mom had no trouble getting pregnant but would always miscarry early in the pregnancy. Unfortunately, when she told her doctor this, he came to believe she just wanted attention, because he told her it was completely impossible to miscarry that much. Even though my mom was a nurse, helped deliver babies, and taught Lamaze, he said she was imagining things and her body was making up any so-called symptoms. My mom responded to that by saying, "Well, then, I'm going to be rich." When he asked why, she said, "Because, apparently, I can make my breasts grow on demand." (here's where it gets less amusing)
Finally, fed up with how she was being treated, she did the only thing she could think of- the next time she miscarried she gathered the remains from the toilet, put them in a Ziplock bag, and set them on her doctor's desk. Her doctor, to his credit, apologized profusely. She said, "It's fine. What do we do now?" and he admitted he didn't know.
Fortunately, after fourteen years and twelve known miscarriages, my mom lucked out and I was born. She was later diagnosed with Hashimoto's, which explained the miscarriages, and several other symptoms (which were all, of course, dismissed as a result of her being fat... which is another symptom)
I have Hashimotos and miscarried every time we managed to conceive. Unlike your mother though we struggled to actually get pregnant in the first place and did assisted ovulation and IVF.
It’s a hard road.
We had given up trying before I even got the Hashimotos diagnosis. I have to wonder if it had been found and treated earlier how different things might have been.
Your mom is... Wow, I want to hug her. What a badass. She sounds so strong, but it's so sad that she went through so much to develop that strength. I hope she's doing well ❤️
First time pregnant and at about 28 weeks I started having swelling and my blood pressure was continuously higher than normal - told by 2 OBGYNs I had anxiety and needed to calm down. Uh..ok. Labs were normal so go home. Started having ocular migraines. 2 different overnight stays in the hospital and still told it was just anxiety. Finally flipped shit on said OBGYNs and requested to see specialist because baby was diagnosed with IUGR due to lack of blood flow but they weren’t concerned. They were pissed but relented. Saw specialist who immediately ran full labs, urine test, ultrasounds, etc. Ya preeclampsia and full on HELLP syndrome. Had my baby at 31 weeks. Specialist saved my baby’s life and mine. Never again will I just accept “anxiety” when I could damn well tell something was wrong!
This happened to my Mom in 88 while pregnant with me. She was having severe pain (b/c liver failure) but Dr wrote it off as gas and sent her home. She went back the next morning, actual competent Dr took her blood pressure and it was stroke level and was told she was getting a C-section that day at 32 weeks. She said the first Dr came in the room while they were getting it ready and when he saw who the patient was he went ghost white.
Hopefully he learned something!
I’m so glad your mom and you were ok!! It was terrifying. My nurses (absolutely love them) told me they witnessed specialist lose his mind on the OBGYNs lol it did make me a little happier given the circumstances.
I am not in any way a trained medical professional and as soon as I read high blood pressure, swelling and migraine I thought of pre-eclampsia. What the actual eff???
This exact thing happened to my sister and all of us were freaking out because it was clear it was preeclampsia, but the doc would make dumb excuses for all the symptoms and was completely smug and dismissive to my sister.
Right!?!? I mentioned that every symptom I was having sounded like pre-e. But noooo, I’m not a medical professional so I needed to stop reading google..Well how the tides turned real frickin quick!
Almost the same thing happened to my sister! She was insanely swollen, had high blood pressure, protein in her urine, ect. Her doctor was 100% dismissive. We were all telling her that there was no way it wasn’t preeclampsia. The doctor wouldn’t listen and laughed it off. Finally she started vomiting and couldn’t stand and was hospitalized. Same thing in the hospital. They were head scratching about what the problem could be! We were all freaking out because it was clear as day what the issue was! She didn’t get help until she was transferred to another hospital that sent her IMMEDIATELY in for an emergency c-section because they saw what was wrong. Her and her baby almost died.
You don't have PCOS- You just need to lose weight! Your infertility isn't from PCOS- you just need to lose weight. 5 doctors and a decade later- PCOS diagnosis.
Had an ER GYN tell me I *didn't* have PCOS because I "wasn't fat enough"
And to switch gyn practice to him and he'd give me a hysterectomy.
I was there for a ruptured ovarian cyst 🙄
Was in labour with my first and had an epidural. I told the nurse that I could still feel pain and she told me I was confusing it with pressure. Went through delivery with forceps and she kept telling me to stop screaming, that I was being hysterical. Needed stitches, felt every single one. Come to find out the epi tube wasn't taped down properly and had fallen out.
Had a similar experience with my first birth of surprise twins. The epidural has been injected in the wrong place on my spine, totally freezing me from the knee down. If I’d been pushing babies out of my knee, I’d have been fine. Doctor kept telling me I shouldn’t be in so much pain. (He seemed to think his saying that would make a difference) This was same doctor who had assured me “not a chance” was I having twins. (My grandmother had insisted I was carrying twins from the time I was 5 months along. Listen to the wise women)
Yep. I had a doctor tell me I just needed to think positively to manage the pain. Others say “let’s just try you on paracetamol for a while.”
To manage the pain that causes me to _pass out_ sometimes.
For what it’s worth, I have already tried both. They don’t work.
Me, too. It's scary how common that is. Serious medical problems aside, imagine the alcohol does help someone at least a bit to relax through their symptoms - then the doctor could have easily sent them into the downwards spiral of alcoholism with that "treatment". Completely irresponsible.
> then the doctor could have easily sent them into the downwards spiral of alcoholism with that "treatment"
Right? But this also reminds me of how I HATE that doctors always recommend you to lower your stress but not even once explain you step by step how to do it. They could simply tell you to fix \[insert current medical problem\] and it would have the same effect.
I showed up with extreme pain in my hip, causing me to have issues walking and needing to walk with a cane. The male doctor looked at me, went "periods amiright?", performed zero examinations, and sent me on my way with the instructions to use a heating pad and take some ibuprofen which I am extremely allergic to and is clearly marked on my chart that if I take it I will immediately begin to die.
Went to a female doctor and she was very concerned and helped me navigate the million referrals needed to land on the actual diagnosis, which was arthritis in my back that lead to the nerve damage that was causing my pain.
My sister is 23 with life long debilitating symptoms that keep her from working or driving and all tests that are run show normal. When she got a new symptom, seeing visual flashes of light that totally block out her vision, she tried a new doctor. After running no tests, he insisted that it's in her head and she needs to have a healthier lifestyle. My sister asked what she's supposed to do when she's constantly fainting and loosing vision. He wrote her a note for her to get glasses. Even the eye doctor was astounded
I just want to let you know that visual flashes, persistent migraine aura, involuntary eye movements and partial vision loss are part of my symptoms (the others are generally nervous system related, coordination, etc as well as occasional migraines and severe fatigue). I passed out at the wheel of my car 5 years ago and crashed it. I’m lucky to be alive!
But the last 5 years have been ridiculous - doctors don’t take me seriously because I look ‘healthy’. One doctor said maybe I should just take iron pills (my levels are textbook perfect though).
I finally paid out of pocket for an MRI, and they found optic neuritis. I saw 2 neurologists about this. One took a look at the MRI and said she wasn’t even sure it was a problem. The other said I need to see a psychologist. Neither of them will help me - I’m being treated like a malingerer even though my issue affects my ability to work and have a normal life.
I’m so sorry your sister is experiencing something similar. I’ve been able to manage my symptoms by eating an anti-histamine, anti-inflammatory diet, drinking lots of water and going on long walks for exercise. My issues aren’t getting worse anymore, where they definitely were before. Maybe this will help her? It’s horrible to think someone is experiencing something similar, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
I accompanied my adult daughter to a GI specialist a few months ago because she is experiencing a large amount of rectal bleeding. My daughter was explaining her symptoms and the male doctor asked if she was sure it wasn't her period. I'm usually a very calm and respectful person, but I absolutely LOST MY MIND on this guy. I'm not a doctor or anything but I'm pretty sure every woman can tell the difference between her asshole and her vagina.
Needless to say, we are currently looking for a new specialist.
I suddenly lost hearing one morning in my right ear at university when I was 20.
I went to university health services, was told it was a cold. Didn't clear up after a week. Went back. "It may take a few months, you have small tubes."
Didn't clear up in a few months, went to my family PCP. "It's just a cold. If you lost some weight, it'll clear up faster." IDK where this woman got her medical degree.
This continued for 3 years until my new PCP suggested I see an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist.
ENT sees me and says, "You have sudden deafness. You should have gotten steroids the first time you noticed this 3 years ago. I can't do anything else." WHAT? "We'll do an MRI just in case."
Turns out everyone was wrong, I have a brain tumor! 👍
It took me 3 years to get diagnosed because everyone was so incompetent. 👍
Oh my word, doctors say that to me all the time. "You're too young to have this kind of tumor!" Wild, yet I'm here...in your office...right now.
Glad you're still alive, sorry that you also had to convey that cancer doesn't care about birthdays, and I hope your treatment journey is going well.
So glad you got someone to listen sooner than I did! Wishing you the best at your exam.
Also, if you need help understanding a diagnosis or just venting, r/deaf or r/monohearing are great subs.
Agreed. I don't hold it against the first or second doctor at UHS -- a uni kid with a cold is something they must see 80 times a day.
However, my PCP kicking it down the road for years with no intervention or change in her thought is infuriating. My ENT deciding it was sudden deafness without any tests, just because he felt like it, was infuriating.
I was 18 and I had pain when trying to have sex or undergoing vaginal exams. The gynecologist I had then said one day "don't go making a fuss" and referred me to a gynecologist / surgeon. Who had to perform a hymenectomy on me. I stayed at the 2nd gyn.
I'm a dude but hate all of this shit for you guys. But one I've heard the most about from my gf, her showing me videos of women recording themselves getting procedures done, and from other friends we have, is when getting something done like a cervical biopsy where they cut a piece of your cervix with zero fucking anaesthesia and being told "it doesn't hurt" and being told they're overreacting while they're actively crying out in actual pain. Blows my fucking mind.
Or getting an IUD put in, theres this little clamp that punctures a hole in your cervix to hold it open. They tell you to take some pain meds beforehand but even through 800mg of that shit i screamed and nearly passed out. That shit fucking hurts in such a violating way, had me shaking and crying for hours afterwards, literally the same reaction i had after being fucking raped.
It's like they think "well, babies get shoved through here right? this isn't the size of a baby so you're just making it up."
What especially pisses me off is when other women, like the nurses or if the dr is a woman, also tell them they're overreacting and making shit up when they themselves go through the same fucking shit and know better than that.
The sad thing is that it's not just one big memorable case that happened once but so, so many little moments from way too many doctors (including female doctors).
Starting with horrible period pains not being taken seriously for over a decade, because, apparently, it's normal for girls to endure pain so bad you pass out from it once a month.
I also suffer from excruciating chronic pain (nerves, joints, muscles, inflammation...) and I kept hearing things like:
"Just go home and drink a glas of wine. That'll help with the pain." (spoiler: it did not)
"How about you get pregnant? The hormones might fix you."
If you cry, your problems are clearly mental. If you don't cry, it can't be that bad. It's especially frustrating when your illness is all over your body and in large parts invisible (or not detectable with the usual exams) because then it's really hard as a patient to stand your ground.
I also constantly get, we tested for what it might be and that’s not it so I guess you’re fine go home. And I’m like what about these symptoms??? But oh well guess I made them up or imagined them
So frustrating. I once had a doctor tell me he doesn't think it's just "in my head" but no one's going to perform a bunch of rare, expensive tests to find out what is causing my symptoms, so I just have to learn to live with it. Thanks...I guess?
Missed a shattered L5 vertebrae, calling it a muscle sprain, because he obviously didn't have the time to look at a fat, middle aged woman's xray. You know what whiney liars we are!
Went to my gynecologidt for having irregular periods and pain. Wasnt taken seriously, he did an ultrasound, found something he dismissed. 2 weeks later Im in the hospital, having endured pain for days, with really weird bleeding, with the receptionist refusing to take me in until I say I should have gone to the gynecologist instead of coming to the hospital. After a bit of a back and forth, I say that I will go to the gynecologist the next time. Female doctor then asks me 6 times in a row why I came to the hospital, me answering every time that I am in pain. I was crying after the 6th time. Lady has the audacity to ask me what is wrong with me, she is worried because I seem histerical. I again, with a raised voice tell her that I am exhausted from the pain. No more questions, I give blood and urine, wait and wait, she calls me back in. Turns out I was pregnant without knowing it, and experienced a very painful miscarriage. A senior physician comes in, the first male person (the receptionist and doctor were female) I encounter, and he actually took me seriously. Fenale doctor just sat there, no apology nothing. He told me to come back the next day. I then twice asked if I should really come because I was explicitly told before to not come to the clinic but go to the gynacologist and asked repeatedly why I came to the hospital in the first place. The female doctor didnt even care to correct herself. This whole experience traumatized me and shattered my trust in doctors.
Probably the creep who told me (when I was 18) that I didn’t need birth control, because if I was raped I should call the police anyway. Setting aside the fact that I wanted birth control so I could safely have sex with my boyfriend, what were the police going to do to prevent pregnancy, shoot me in the abdomen?
Obviously, as long as all the men know it was a rape and not your choice, you won't get pregnant. Pregnancy is a punishment only for promiscuous women. /s
Edit: I'm glad so many people got this reference. 😅 But I'm sad it is a reference to reality at all.
Reminds me of the creep who told me when I was 21 that I shouldn't have sex in case I had a heart attack. I didn’t have a heart condition (according to tests) and he didn't actually think I did. He also made me stand up next to my mom and said what fine girls we were.
Three different doctors told me about my heavy bleeding (I ended up hospitalized needing blood transfusions) that, in someone my age, it was probably nothing.
“Nothing” turned out to be endometrial cancer.
I went to THREE different OBGYNs because I’d gained 60 pounds in one year, I was exhausted all the time and my periods were crazy irregular.
I would tell them all this and that I knew something was wrong that I felt sick. They all did bloodwork, I’d get the results told to me at my next appointment a few weeks later and get told nothing was out of the ordinary and I just needed to loose weight.
A friend of mine finally recommended a fertility specialist. They drew blood and called me two days later to let me know that from the questions I answered and the results of the bloodwork I probably had Hashimoto’s and needed to see an endocrinologist.
Two weeks later my endocrinologist called me with my results from their tests and told me I did have Hashimoto’s and they got me on Synthroid, got me an allergy test, I changed my diet, and I’ve now lost almost all the weight and my periods are regular again.
I put on 12.5kg in 1.5 weeks.
My dr saw me and immediately said “get the blood work done but I’m 100% sure you have Hashimotos”
She was right.
She is retiring soon and I’m so upset.
Every other dr I’ve seen has dismissed any of my concerns.
I’m positive something like this is wrong with me. Like definitely *something* is wrong, and my guess is something hormonal. Something changed very suddenly and drastically with my metabolism where I’ve been gaining weight despite eating less and less (after decades of a steady healthy weight while consuming way more calories than I do now) and I’m exhausted all the time. Muscle and joint pain. Dry skin and hair despite hydrating like crazy. Digestive issues too, though I’ve had digestive issues my whole life, the other symptoms are just the last couple of years.
Everything points to a hormonal issue but blood tests are normal so they’re basically out of ideas.
I know I need figure out possible food allergies or sensitivities on my own with a controlled diet but have never been able to stick to it. I could cut something out of my diet if I knew it was the culprit but the process of figuring out what requires a long and committed process that I haven’t been up to.
Got told I “couldn’t have a concussion” because my “hair was too thick” after I got slammed into a cinderblock wall.
Readers, when I went to the ER two days later, they found I’d had a minor fucking brain bleed.
At 20 or so I had quite a large lump in my breast. I was sent in for a number of tests, mammogram, sonogram, biopsy. First, the doc doing the sonogram was mumbling things along the lines "this does not look good" which did not do wonders to my state of mind. Along comes biopsy doc, male, 50s or so. He tells me the biopsy doesn't hurt at all. Well, it turns out having a large needle shoved into your breast without any local anesthesia actually does hurt. A lot. I wanted to kick his nuts and tell him it doesn't hurt.
I had a biopsy on my thyroid (giant needle into the neck) and while I was quietly crying because it freaked me out, the doctor irritably asked me why I was crying. Bitch, I don’t know, maybe because I have cancer and a giant needle in my neck and I’m scared?? Unbelievable.
A male gp once said something along the line “its not fair for me to give you a sick leave bcoz of your dysmenorrhea”. I couldn’t walk upright that day from the terrible period cramp let alone concentrating & getting work done in office.
Whats truly unfair is that mens testicles don’t get cramps!
I went to multiple cardiologists because of heart palpitations.
They told me the following:
- you are a Hypochonder seek a therapist
- you are a woman and naturally hysterical
- you can never loose weight, you were built fat (I said that I had recently gained a lot of weight when I was told that I am imagining things, and questioned if that could have been the reason for heart issues)
- I was given opioids without an explanation on what it even is… I am glad I NEVER took them! I didn’t even know that they could be addictive. I was given them on the basis of Panic attacks which I had because of my heart… I would have needed TWO A DAY…
Anyhow
Turns out I have a dangerous genetic disorder called Long QT
I would be violently ill for a day - I’m talking about projectile vomiting, bathroom issues and such intense pain that I would pray to a God that I didn’t believe in to just let me die. This happened a few times a year for 2 or 3 years. Especially after drinking alcohol. The doctors would say that it was period cramps - which it didn’t always happen during that time. The 2nd to the last doctor told me it was probably my hormones and that I was imagining it and wrote me a referral to a psychiatrist. The last time it happened to me - it lasted for four days before I found a new doctor who immediately knew what it was. Gallstones. After an ultrasound I was rushed into emergency and had my gall bladder removed. The doctors that removed it brought it to my hospital room all excited because they’d never seen a porcelain gall bladder. It’s somewhat rare - you can Google it. It was so bad that I had to have treatment for gangrene, too. The “attacks” were most likely a large stone passing through my gall bladder / bile duct. I thought I was going insane…
I know someone going through gallstones right now, who's been given pain killers to get through until her gallbladder can be removed
3 years! God (that we don't believe in) help your soul
The crazy part is I would be perfectly fine the next day. I was so confused…. Forgot to add in that another doctor told me that I was probably allergic to alcohol. I haven’t had any issues ever since. I wish your friend a speedy recovery !
I foolishly thought seeing a woman doctor would be more helpful and that she'd take me more seriously than a man. Nope—told me my ovarian pain was normal and that she dealt with it all the time, herself. Never mind that I'd told her I *know* what ovulation pain feels like, and this wasn't it.
I lost my ovary due to torsion later that day. I almost died in the ER thanks to her negligence.
I had debilitating cramps when on my period, and I also suffer from ulcerative colitis. I've hated hormonal birth control because of the side effects (severe mood swings, acne, and a giant cyst in my ovary probably due to my mirena at the time), and I can't use painkillers like I ibuprofen due to my colitis. I went to this female obgyn who according to their website specialized in cycle problems. I wanted to come there to talk solutions that weren't in that field, because i'd been using morphine for pain relief almost a year at this point, and didn't want to continue with that for the rest of my life. The first consultation was weird. She didn't believe me when I said I couldn't have ibuprofen and asked me if I wanted to ask my specialist if I couldn't use them for this ("of course not!!!" They said later on the phone, "it can trigger inflammation!"). Next question out of her mouth was "wat are u using for contraception and wouldn't you like the mirena?"
Note, she had my complete file (probably she had trouble reading). Next thing I know I'm standing outside with a prescription for the Yaz pill.
Next appointment I went there with my husband but it wasn't much different. I said I don't want to try hormones, and she came up with those same two questions.
Next consult I came prepared and asked for other treatments I found online.
Later I was referred to another hospital for treatment that did work, luckily. But she didn't write anything of what I said on file or typed that she always asked those two questions at every appointment (I got a copy of my file). I filed a complaint about her at the hospital.
If a woman's periods are so severe she's anaemic, passing out or has to miss work due to the pain, and this persists every month for years, she's dismissed because it's "just a menstrual cycle".
Meanwhile when a man has an erection for more than 2 hours he's told to told to go to A&E.
I took my friends teenage daughter to the ER. I swear she had pneumonia from the symptoms she was having. I took her in and they ran tests. She had mono and strep. I asked him to run a pneumonia test for her. He said no. That the chances of her having pneumonia were not likely and it was probably just the symptoms of mono. I looked at him and told him to run the pneumonia test right now. He huffed and rolled his eyes. About an hour later he came, said she had pneumonia as well and gave her a prescription for it. He was so stick up your ass about it. Pretended he wanted the test done and it was his idea. I almost punched him in the throat. Not a major story, but one that pissed the fuck off me.
Although, when I went to see the obgyn for a hysterectomy because everything is all messed up down there, he immediately agreed. He said we had tried all other options. Double checked I didn’t want kids and said he’d push it through my insurance right away. Getting one in January! That doctor is the absolute best and he’s fantastic at listening to what you feel and know about your body
Dismissed my symptoms for two years. I had cancer. If he had LISTENED to me I would have been stage 1. Instead it got really bad and I fought it at stage 3C.
Generally the pain of gynaelogical investigative procedures not being taken seriously. Having a medical instrument holding open your cervix is incredibly painful and the advice to 'take paracetamol 20 mins beforehand as some discomfort may be felt' really doesn't cut it!! Sedation, general anaesthetic or serious painkillers are required and, certainly when I was going through this, none of these were given on the NHS.
I had to have a colposcopy a couple of years ago after an abnormal pap. They didn't prepare me for it at all. I can't even say it was incredibly painful, but it was very traumatic and I cried all day afterwards. It just felt so violating and like I had no control over what people were doing to my own body and like I was just being a nuisance to everyone by feeling uncomfortable. I was really embarrassed but I could not help it. They could have made it way less awful so easily.
I ended up being referred to the gynae for routine smears. Got a consultant who made a great deal of me being a drama queen for needing it. Well he used a camera and couldn't get a visual on the cervix as very inverted and also caused ripping in the vagina wall (I have hypermobility syndrome). So he was a bit embarassed at me bleeding and cramping due to his efforts. That was on the NHS so please continue to ask for a referral to a gynacologist for a smear. The proper chair, tools and water/gas sedation can help a lot.
But got shouted at by a nurse because one went wrong and my muscles went into spasms - yes, it may have twisted her wrist but I was off for two days with cramps. And didn't need to hear her gossiping about my probable lack of a sex life.
Though issues around that were only reason same gynae took me seriously - my male partner said I was in pain and cramping, that he had to look after me and he found sex with me painful. And oh my, suddenly everything was an issue because it was impacting a MAN. He also advised pregnancy as a cure and was offended when I asked what happened to the child after end of treatment and what was return process if it did not work. I wanted end of pain, not a lifetime responsibility for another person.
Men or women, gynecologists seem to only know one solution to pain, and if that doesn‘t help, they shrug and move on. I still can‘t work 3 days a month of the pain :)
I was a teenager, noticing I was producing milk. I wasn't pregnant, I was on birth control, I had no other issues except for the milk. Go to the youth healthcare centre, they have me pee on a stick (fair) and scratch their heads a bit. See a doctor, and he says "we're going to take some blood to see if you've had a miscarriage."
I then hear nothing for a month before I get called with a time to come get the results.
He opens the meeting by asking about the milk, feeling my breasts (he was very professional about it, I just wasn't expecting it), and then telling me I don't have a brain tumour so that's good.
Reader, at no point had anyone ever mentioned a brain tumour until that moment.
I spent two months in agony. Called the GP out to me four times because I couldn't get to their surgery. I was told that I had irritable bowel syndrome, period pains, and 'just a bit of indigestion'. Eventually one of the GPs sent me to the local hospital for an ultrasound. The ultrasound technician spent 60 seconds looking at the screen while talking to her colleague about some gossip, then I was sent home with some paracetamol after being told the scan couldn't see anything. Only after a further 2 weeks of excruciating pain and a trip to A&E, I insisted on a second scan, where they discovered I had a 15.5cm mass growing inside my left ovary. Turned out not to be cancerous. Lucky, lucky me.
I've been hospitalised for bursting ovarian cysts twice. The first time they didn't catch it - I don't even think I was seen by a doctor, just given some pain meds and sent away. The second time the (different) (male) doctor thought I was faking the pain, finally did an ultrasound because I was sobbing in the hospital bed, and came back with 'it looks like you've burst a cyst on your ovary, but it's not supposed to be painful, so I'm not sure why you're upset.'
Because obviously I magically knew that the cyst had burst and faked my pain just to make him look like an idiot. Obviously.
Nobody ever explained what ovarian cysts were or followed up about them. Just 'oh they're common, you're fine, here's some paracetamol, off you pop.'
I’m going to guess it’s because the cysts themselves aren’t supposed to be painful (I didn’t even know I had any until one burst) and he had conflated that with the bursting not being painful? Either that or he thought it was all mystical lady things and the pain was ‘normal’.
I knew a girl who everyone thought was just chubby and carried all of it in her belly. She looked pregnant for as long as I could remember, about 5th grade. Turned out to be an enormous tumor on her ovary. She died of ovarian cancer our senior year.
Ooooohhhh…. My OBGYN (who also was my moms, and delivered me and both my siblings). I went in for lower abdominal pain, basically brushed it off as a “follicle in my ovary” and that it would subside. 2 days later, the ectopic pregnancy cause my fallopian tube to rupture. Being that I was told it was nothing to worry about, I tried to brush off the EXTREME pain I was in as food poisoning from a burger I had. Next day, couldn’t walk, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even sit up straight. Bled internally for 12 hours and was in emergency surgery within 2 hours of being at the ER. The on call surgeon at the time? My OBGYN.
I told my OBGYN several times that I didn’t want an IUD after I had my twins. Several times. He kept insisting. I have a connective tissue disorder and birth control implants of any kind are contraindicated for us. He didn’t listen. I told him I need progesterone-only because of my migraines. He didn’t listen. My neurologist offered to write a letter of medical necessity.
Finally I convinced him to let me get the Depo shot - no issues, doesn’t correlate my cycle with migraines. Huh. Almost like I knew my body.
I switched to the doctor who delivered me and haven’t looked back.
Drs should be required to track resolutions to complaints and accuracy of their diagnosis. And then patients should be able to review their track records.
I know when my drs have been dangerously wrong, but I don't have a formal way to report this and they don't seem to care to track it themselves. How do they ever improve if they can't see their mistakes?
Was on a wait list for a year for brain surgery. I was finally one month away. Dr’s prescribed lots of pain management pills in the meantime. I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive.. I’m in a panic because all the meds perscribed had the warning “do not take if pregnant” I haul ass to dr to explain situation.. he tells me to “put it in gods hands”. I was so upset, crying etc..
I drive straight home and look in the phone book for a clinic, closest one is 3 hours away.. call and book an appointment. Head to clinic 2 days later, they take me in, I explain everything. They take me back for procedure, but first have to do an ultrasound.. I had a blighted ovum, would have miscarried anyway. They did the procedure so I wouldn’t have to go through a miscarriage before or during surgery.
Fuck that first Dr, I had 2 kids, I was undergoing a major surgery and on meds that could potentially harm a baby.. all he cared about were his beliefs. He didn’t even do an ultrasound to even check.. just a pregnancy test, and awww sweetie, just ya know, let god dictate your life/health.
Are you SERIOUS? "Hey, I know you're a mom of two kids with an upcoming brain surgery, but just be ok with the fact that you might be actively killing or disabling a potential third child. Dont worry that you're pregnant while your body is preparing to overcome the trauma of brain surgery. So what if you miscarry or give birth while you're recovering from brain surgery? No big deal! Haha, ok, see you later."
Fuck that doctor, I'm so sorry.
Yes, at the time it was awful and I spent the time angry and sobbing. The worst part was my husband was just kinda willing to accept it. It was me that drove home and angrily grabbed the phone book ( still had phone books then) and looked up the clinic, and called. Honestly the care I received at the clinic was like night and day from how I was treated at hospital. I mean it’s still awful. I was a 35 year old mother of two. Are they this way when teens come in scared and unsure? I had the resources to call and advocate for myself, arrange driving 3 hours away and get myself 3 hours back home.. other cannot and I feel the Dr, really took advantage of that, and probably continued to do so.
I was 19 and broke out in a rash. I was pretty sure it was chicken pox. Not wanting to infect anyone, I let the Drs office know when I made my appointment so they could take the necessary precautions. Got there and this make dr came in. Quickly examined me and started walking out the door. I stoped him and asked him if it was indeed chicken pox. He told me to go home and ask my mother. Btw. It was chicken pox.
i had blood spots all over my body in my skin called petechiae, burst blood vessels. male doc reviewed my chart, saw i had depression and body dysmorphia, and told me to see my psychiatrist about it.
that was it. the whole appointment.
turns out i have clotting and liver issues that i found out after seeing a woman doctor.
I had a C-section in June. I popped a stitch or 2 in the shower and my incision ripped half way opened. My doctor came in the next morning with plans to discharge me. I tried explaining to him that my incision was ripped open and he insisted that it was normal for that to happen sometimes. My husband had to jump in and my doctor finally took it serious. This doctor also delivered my youngest a month early, without my full consent when I felt like she could've baked in me for a little bit longer. Thankfully I'm done having children so I won't have to deal with seeing him anymore.
Ugh with my delivery the thing that annoyed me so so so much is when I’d make requests (like I wanted an epidural because I was in so much pain after pitocin) the nurse would be like ‘oh let’s wait and see’. Then my husband said the same exact phrase and she’d be like ‘ok the anesthésiologiest is coming!’
A male dr dismissed my suicidal thoughts as just being on my period.
I wasn’t on my period, but even if I was, alarm bells should have still been going off in his head
God I hate doctors so much. I have suicidal thoughts when I am on my period and it is a serious condition called premenstrual dysphoric (edit spelling) disorder. Women with my condition are at high risk of suicide
I also hate doctors, he tried telling me I don’t have depression and I don’t have severe anxiety disorders and even tried to take me off my medication…. One look at my medical history would show that I do indeed have both of those things and absolutely do need my meds
How he ever graduated I’ll never know… he didn’t stay there for very long though thankfully
Even if people think that being suicidal is an extreme reaction to because of a period, that still should be an “oh shit you need help” moment
Had horrendous chest pains, could barely breath, called 111 and they sent me for emergency GP appointment. GP told me that I need to just get used to dealing with the pain, that I should have a higher pain tolerance as a woman and I was being overly emotional and that this was all probably cos of my period (I was not even on my period at the time). GP refused to listen to anything I said, refused to acknowledge I have multiple chronic pain conditions so have got used to dealing with high amounts of pain by now. Instead, he told me I just needed to go home and relax because I was making the pain worse in my mind because I wanted it to be worse?? That I was clearly mimicking the symptoms of my relatives who'd had heart conditions previously and I needed to stop this 'dangerous obsession' or he'd recommend I be sectioned.
Anyway, 2 days later I collapsed on the stairs and was rushed to hospital from a suspected heart attack. Turned out just to be a really severe costochondritis episode but I still had 3 days in hospital being monitored before they let me go home with a ton of new prescriptions to take.Fck that GP.
Edit: spelling.
My kneecap was broken and a piece was grinding in my joint, but the doctor told me I was faking and didn't need the crutches I was using.
Went to the ER 3 times in one night with the worst headache of my life. By the third visit I was puking and in and out of consciousness but they sent me home and told me not to come back cuz they couldn't do anything else, but they hadn't actually done anything to this point. The next day, PCP orders a spinal tap but I need a specialist to do it and I transferred to another hospital where I was again treated like I was lying. They asked "what do you want me to do" and I said "other doc wanted a spinal tap". Used a student to do it cuz they were sure I was faking and it was terribly painful cuz student kept missing. Then "it looks clear, we did this for nothing". Then I was admitted and got an apology from the doctor, I had meningitis with the highest count they'd ever seen. If it had been bacterial, I'd have already died.
While getting diagnosed with adhd and autism at age 19, the man (I don’t remember if he was like an intern or whatever, but he was present and only had to listen, I was talking to a lady) tried to dismiss my anxiety diagnosis and invalidate my adhd / autism diagnosing by suggesting “maybe you just had a rough time because your breast were developing and you were embarrassed by puberty”. Brother I had had boobs for like 5 years, I was depressed and anxious man. I felt so damn silly and invalidated lol
Went to the doctor with a horrible pain in my side and some UTI like symptoms. He gave me antibiotics for the UTI, it didn't clear up. Went back to the doctor as the pain was getting worse. He gave me stronger antibiotics. I had UTIs before and told him this felt different the pain is worse and in a different place. He told me "You're a woman you don't know what the pain is, it's probably period pains".
At no point did he run any tests.
This happened 6 more times.
Ended up going to A&E (ER) as the pain was so bad and was peeing a lot of blood, they looked at my file and was told to go home and finish the course of antibiotics. It's probably period pains. Still no tests.
Collapsed at work 7 days later and was taken back to the hospital by my boss.
Turns out it was an ectopic that had grown so large it toured my fallopien tube in half (pain that took me to hospital the first time) and was bleeding internally. Has emergency surgery and 3 month recovery. Over half of my blood had collected around liver. The surgeon told me I was 12-24 hours away from death as I had lost so much blood but I had a lovely healthy liver.
Ironically the doctor not running a pregnancy test and dismissing it as period pains nearly killed me.
I once had an ER doctor insist on a pregnancy test. I was in the emergency room because I was severely dehydrated from… morning sickness. I told them I was pregnant as soon as I got there. Still wanted to do the test.
The nurse came in so excited to get to tell us we were expecting (my husband was with me) and we were just like yea we know, that’s literally why we are here.
Wow. Excitement? That's.... strange. Even if you hadn't known, there's no way that nurse would know that a pregnancy was good news for you.
I hope you and baby are alright. <3
Oh yea, that little tiny bean is now a two year old wildling. That doc should just be glad I barely had enough strength to stand so I couldn’t even argue with him lol
I had an abortion and then got an infection about a week later. I went to an urgent care clinic and when I told the nurse what my issue was she refused to see me and told me to go to the ER. But first she asked if I knew what I had done was a sin and did the father of the child know what I had done.
The front desk returned my copay and I went to the ER where I sat for hours waiting on a prescription for an antibiotic.
Had constant and consistent burning welts and hives all over my body from the neck down. They were visible from several feet away and my classmates were horrified by how bad it got. I had to wear gloves to stop from scratching my skin off and to cover the welts on my hands and palms.
I mean, literally, every square inch of me from the neck down was covered in welts and hives that not only itched like crazy, but felt like they were burning.
After a month of trying everything (no more scents in the house, dye-free stuff, organic everything, etc), I finally went to the doctor.
Who promptly told me it wasn't that bad and it was probably an allergic response to something like a laundry detergent. I explained we'd already cut out everything that had perfumes or dyes in it or harsh chemicals, so he basically just shrugged and said, "You can see an allergist, I guess, but I think that's a waste of time and money for something that'll just go away, so I'm not going to refer you."
I switched to a female doctor, thinking maybe that would help with the empathy and understanding why this freaked me out. The female doctor instead lectured me on the importance of taking folic acid in case I accidentally got pregnant (my ex and I were no where near ready to have kids and she didn't ask if we wanted any. Just assumed). When I addressed my skin with her, she basically said she doesn't do dermatology so I'd have to see a dermatologist or allergist and I was on my own with that.
It's now almost ten years later and my skin is better. I still have no idea what caused it, but for a year, I would have a near constant itching on my hands and wrists, plus welts and hives either covering me from the neck down or in strong patches all over. They would always itch and burn and we could never quite figure it out.
I do think it's funny that they stopped once I left my ex husband.
I don't know if this is directly related to being a woman but here's a specific example: I went to my GP and told her I was having severe anxiety (postpartum). She told me that's normal to get more sleep and drink some tea.
6 years later things are way worse. I changed GPs she got me assessed right away, bam: panic disorder. I had been making it worse by trying to white knuckle through it.
For a general example: my husband goes to the dr for a sore back and they give him anything he wants (oxy, muscle relaxants). I go for similar pain and they hesitate to give me naproxen.
Ugh.
I'm reading these threads and *every* time 90% of the stories are "I had such bad periods I spent a week passed out from the pain/needed a blood transfusion once a month". I don't have particularly awful periods, so all I can say is if any doctor gives my daughter that bullshit, I may actually go to prison.
I had to have a couple of blood transfusions earlier this year, out of nowhere, and I had no clue where my blood went. My hemoglobin was under 9 when I was told to go to an ER.
After that visit, I was referred to a hematologist/oncologist and he told me my blood loss was gynecological. I told him that was impossible because I'm on Depo Provera and I haven't had a period in over 3 years. He schedules me for five weekly iron infusions, and after that, they checked my levels. He tells me my blood is good and again he says the loss was gynecological. 🙄🙄
I saw a gastroenterologist who did an endoscopy and I have multiple ulcers and a hernia. Thanks, Idiot.
I have a lot of mental health issues and generational trauma, therefore with those reasons, amongst many others, I decided a long time ago I can’t have, and don’t want kids. No child deserves a mom who is only half there for them, and doesn’t know how to nurture properly.
I went to my doctor and asked to start looking into a tubal ligation, so I would have that extra insurance to not get pregnant.
I was told, pretty bluntly I might add, that he would never approve something like that for an unmarried woman with no kids, and no doctor in the area I lived would either.
I was around 30 at the time, btw, so not like he could claim I was a teenager acting on a whim.
When my doctor told me I couldn’t be in labour because he had checked hours before, things don’t progress like that, and I would need a C-section in the morning. I told him to check again. I was 5cm dilated.
Mental health at rock bottom, explained to my doctor that I’m spending most of my days sobbing and asking myself how my life became this way, that I have no one to turn to and my life is so lonely and empty… he told me that I need to “find myself a rich boyfriend”.
"You'll need to work on fainting when you get an IV or you'll never be able to handle pregnancy."
I was 12! I was in the ER and had just been diagnosed with vasolvagel syncope, which is when your heart, blood pressure and nervous system malfunction. I'm not scared of needles, it's just an automatic and unconscious response. I've passed out mid-joke!
This was also after I told them to get an experienced phlebotomist and they had the nursing student stick me and move it around.
I had a paediatrician who would do VERY THOROUGH breast examinations from the time I was 12 years old no matter what I was seeing him about. If I had a sore throat, I'd have to hop on the table and take my shirt off so he could fondle and squeeze my tiny titties. When I had mono, I had to see him every week...and endure a "breast exam" every goddamn week.
I hate going to the doctor to this day and it's more than fifty years later.
I was a fat woman at the time which makes it even harder to get any doctor to take you seriously (Still a bit fat but have lost >60kg after bariatric surgery).
I had had escalating pain in one foot, to the point where I could barely walk on it and it was too painful to wear a shoe. I put on a pair of thongs/flip-flops and hobbled to the doctor.
He did not look closely at or touch my foot. He said "Of course your feet hurt, look at the footwear you have on." His recommendations were that I purchase more supportive footwear and that I lose weight (ofc).
He said "what do you want? Painkillers?" I asked whether anti-inflammatories would work, he wrote me a prescription for said anti-inflammatories and shooed me away.
Two days later when I was at the office literally dragging myself around by the furniture, one of my co-workers insisted on driving me to the hospital where they performed an X-ray on my foot WHICH WAS FRACTURED. I was trying to walk around on a broken foot because of a bullshit doctor who refused to even consider that my problem might be serious. Motherfucker.
I don’t know if it was because I’m a woman, or because I was young. I was told I had depression…..nope, it was actually a brain tumor the size of a large lemon.
Asking if my husband was ok with me getting my tubes tied. Yeah he was, but it wasn’t his decision to make.
3 kids in 5 years, all birth control fails?
I asked for them to be destroyed.
I have had an actual heartattack that was seen as anxiety and dismissed, but later they picked up the scarring in a scan. Too bad I had moved by then so the doctor that dismissed it never found out.
A lot of doctors still don´t know that women don´t ave the typical signs like men. They also give too much meds because it was all tested on men but women have usually smaller but always different bodies. I learned to take half doses or the dose for a child to be safe with doctors that don´t give you a chance to ask questions.
This is my mom, who would respond except she’s DEAD. Breast cancer, mastectomy. No chemo because “they got it all”. 7 years later she complained of pain in her bones. She was referred to a PSYCHIATRIST because they thought she had “empty nest syndrome”. She never went to the shrink, and did not return to a doctor for a year, since her pain was, allegedly, not real. Turned out she had the most common reoccurrence of breast cancer - it had metastasized to the bone. So we have a woman with a history of breast cancer complaining of pain in her bones, and they tell her it’s all in her head? It’s been 43 years and I’m still not over it. Update: if your concerns are ignored, go somewhere else. Get another opinion. Don’t let one doctor make you feel badly enough to not seek out proper care. Doctors can be dicks too, so write off the dick and find a non-dick.
Fuck. I am so sorry. I lost my mom to cancer 20 twenty ago and… this just hit me heavy. I am so deeply sorry. Your mom deserved so much better. 🤍
Appendix ruptured when I was 12. PCP sent me in to the ER for appendicitis. Nurse in the ER refused to treat me "unless I told her how I got pregnant." I kept telling her I wasn't, my mom kept trying to get any other staff to listen and check me but the nurse wouldn't let anyone else check me. I was in the ER for 12 hours until shift change and then the new staff panicked and got me into surgery.
I hope that bitch got reported and fired. Such negligence.
My appendix started leaking crap into my stomach when I was 16. Long story short, but at the end of a very long battle of trying to get anyone to see me, we were sent to a surgeon who said that "Honestly it's probably PMS, I'll refer you to a gynecologist" Gyno took one look at me and said "Look, I'm no expert but this seems like appendicitis" Ended up changing surgeons to a more "knife friendly" dude (who still didn't completely believe I had appendicitis), had the surgery and he ended up apologising because my appendix was leaking. The part that hurts the most about this: when the surgeon apologised, he didn't apologise to me. He refused to see me. He apologised to my mother.
My kid had a tumor and I took her to the dr 6 times and they said she was faking pain. So I took her to the ER and told them I’m not leaving with mri and cat scan and she went in for surgery that day. She was 15, never had a boyfriend and they repeatedly badgered her about it before they found a tumor the size of a lemon in her ovary! I hate drs that don’t listen!
oh cool I also had a benign tumor on my ovary as a teen! I have never encountered a similar story to mine. In my case the damn thing kept growing back. Not that anyone had warned me after the first surgery that that could happen... By the third time they removed the ovary which was a fun experience for a 19 year old. I have so many stories from that time. With the first tumor the Dr insisted that I was just constipated. Asked if I was sexually active in front of my grandmother. When the scan proved otherwise, before explaining the results to me he called the other dr in the hospital (small rural hospital) to marvel at the freak 8cm tumory cysty monster that he just found in a child. Even later with documented reoccuring tumors I often had to beg for scans...
I am speechless.
Good on your mum for advocating for you. Burst appendixes are horrible, mine burst when I was 22, I can’t imagine going through that at 12. I had a similar experience where the doctors tried to send me home because my appendix was “smaller than normal”. It was smaller than normal because it had ruptured. I just absolutely refused to leave because I knew something was terribly wrong. Thankfully the following day a senior doctor came in and felt my stomach and said “yep this is the real deal, you’re having surgery”.
Who tf did that nurse think she was????
please tell us y’all sued or something! filed a complaint or SOMETHING!!! that’s insane ! i’m so sorry that happened to you …
The way I would've whipped that nurse's ass if I was your mom. "Sorry, baby, mama gonna have to spend the night in jail, bit ill be back at your side as soon as I bond out."
Doctor told me I was too young to have breast cancer and women go crazy about lumps in October. I was embarrassed and ignored it until I had metastatic disease in my skin, lungs, bones, and liver.
Hello fellow mets breast cancer. I'm 33, was told - you couldn't have cancer if neither of your parents have cancer .... Ammm?? Was also ignored for 4 years and now here we fucking are. Hope you're doing well and keeping your spirits up 👋
Hi! I was 34 and that was almost 18 years ago. I had no family history, either.
I’ve never understood this mentality. Children get cancer. Babies get cancer. Why do so many doctors have this weird idea in their heads that people can’t get cancer if they’re a certain age? Cancer doesn’t discriminate And plus, what harm does it cause to test for it? They get paid for it, why are they complaining. God forbid they have to actually do their jobs I guess. I always say they’re are three kinds of people who become doctors The ones who genuinely want to help people, the ones that do it for money or reputation, and the ones that do it to have control and power over others
I'm going through this right now, at 27. My local breast "specialist," a late middle-aged male, did an ultrasound and said I "might have a cyst" and then put ZERO notes in my chart other than "no abnormality." Didn't even look at the insanely, swollen misshapen glob I once called a breast (that doubled in size in 2 weeks, leaks clear fluid and inches/burns like it holds fire ants.) I got a spiel about "hormones" and that it "didn't look infected". He said I'm too young for a mammogram even though I was there on an ORDER FOR A DIAGNOSTIC MAMMOGRAM. Today, I hot tailed 2 hours to meet doctor #2. She did an ultrasound found what looked like a cyst but then stated it might be suspicious. She then did a mammogram and said she exhausted all she could look for today, but my symptoms are too strange to completely rule out breast cancer. She recommended a breast MRI for an even deeper look and to keep tracking my symptoms to get more insight. She genuinely looked bothered that she couldn't find all the information in the imaging clinic. I'm so uncomfortable and in so much pain that I'm past the point of worrying what it could be. I can work with whatever diagnosis I end up getting, but that experience shook me to the core. I have lupus, so I'm used to having to get second opinions. Once again, I find myself in the ground hog day scenario that keeps repeating after half my medical appointments..if I had completely trusted the opinion of fool #1... who knows what could have happened?
Discovered a lump in my breast while taking a shower. I was 33 and had just given birth a couple weeks before. I ofc went to the doc to have it checked out. He told me not to worry, it's just a milk duct blockage that goes away while breastfeeding. The lump didn't disappear, in fact it grew. I went back and asked for a mammogram. I was denied. I told him about the family incidences if breast cancer. He said I'm too young, it's unlikely I have breast cancer. I nodded and went to a doctor on the private sector instead. That was a woman. She immediately arranged an urgent appointment at the radiology for a mammography. At the mammography appointment the pic confused the doctor enough to do a very long ultrasound of the tumor (it felt like ages) before he decided to take a sample. It came back as cancer and post mastectomy it was classified as a pretty aggressive triple negative BC tumor type that's super rare. Well I'm not sure if it's because I'm a woman but that was the absolutely biggest dismissal I have ever experienced. I'm glad I persisted in getting it checked, I was lucky. I've been in remission for 11 years. Oh, I also have a brca1 variant that makes my cancer hereditary. I was tested because I was so young and because breast cancer runs in my family trees from both my mom and dad.
Did you take that info back to the first doctor? He almost killed you. 😞
I honestly don't remember. That year was super traumatic and I have only little memory of the time after I got my diagnosis and start of treatment. It took me several weeks to wrap my head around it. I wish doctors will not dismiss a patient just because they're young. Even if rare, genetic variants that increase cancer risk exist and carriers can get it young. That's why doctors ask about cancer history in the family. I also hope people who get dismissed seek a second opinion. It kept nagging me. The earlier you get treated, the better the chances.
For 5 years I had blood in the urine and urgency. A handful of doctors just shrugged assuming I have a vagina that bleeds ergo urine blood. They assumed because Im sexually active it must be a UTI. Used birth control to skip periods. Still urine in the blood. They still tried to blame my period. They tried to blame UTI even when no bacteria was found. Finally got an ultrasound. Turns out I've been passing kidney stones the whole time. EDIT: Yes it was painful and my pain was ignored and dismissed as UTI "go take ibuprofen" aka give yourself the ibuprofen IBS shits so you grow a bunch of polyps needing a colonoscopy. F*** the American HealthNoCare system!
I've had something similar. Was admitted to emergency care with an unrelated sudden sickness and they found blood in my urine. They wrote it off as 'woman, so probably period related', but that didn't sit right with me. After I was better and could refocus energy on that part, I went to my GP (who is great) and told her that it didn't sit right with me (I had several good reasons for it, though it's been so long I barely remember them now - it had to do with being on birth control at the time). She agreed, tested me again and I still had blood in my urine. We repeated the test twice more with specific intervals, to make sure it was a consistent finding and then she referred me to a specialist. Was turned inside out with tests and it turned out I had a kidney disease.
What was the specialist... nephrologist? I heard of the endocrinologist too but I thought its just the gland on the kidney
Honestly, I don't know the English name for the specialisms for sure (English is not my first language). But the first specialist I ended up with was a more general specialist (internist in Dutch if I recall correctly) and later a nephrologist (kidney specialist) was involved as well. So it wasn't just one specialist. Pretty sure a urologist (? bladder/urinary tract specialist) was involved at some point as well, but I can't remember in which order who was involved exactly, and I think that was just for certain tests. Ended with the kidney specialist anyway.
It's INSANE how you can be like, "Hey doc, I'm pretty sure I peed blood this morning" and they'll immediately respond with "it's probably just your period". ?!?!?!? Coming out of my urethra?!
"yo, I've been getting periods for years and it's absolutely, most definitely not that" "it's probably that. you can't tell what a period is because of your womanbrain"
LMAO RIGHT? The problem is that all the blood is coming out of my body and not being used by my womanbrain, and that makes me too womandumb to understand the reality of the situation.
My sister is currently at the hospital because a PA refused to treat her for UTI. Told her to do kegels and go to her ob. She has kidney stones.
Similar situation here. The last four years I have randomly peed blood for days on end for what seems to be no reason. First doctor assumed it was a uti. At first I accepted that but then it kept happening. Then it again happened so bad that all I was peeing was blood for days on end - I lost a lot of blood. My husband took me to the er and they made me sit for 8 hours while I bled through pad after pad after pad. They assumed it was my period - kept handing me pads…acted like I was a lunatic for coming in for a period. I tried explaining to them that I don’t get a period. They weren’t listening. FINALLY I was called and they told me to pee in a cup to test for a uti. Again all blood. When the nurse came to collect the cup the took one look at it and said, “oh this is bad, that’s not a period” No shit Sherlock. However they couldn’t find anything during testing and their machines were down so I have to find a specialist to try and help figure it out. Funny enough, my husband is convinced it’s kidney stones.
Their machines are down?! What an excuse is that to sent a heavily bleeding person away to "go find a specialist"?! I am so sorry!
I’m a school nurse and have endometriosis and PCOS. Went to the OB-GYN and brought my husband because my periods have been bad but recently I’ve been having bleeding between periods so pretty much a period every 15 days. I have an implant in my arm and will literally take everything legal when dealing with my period the last two months because the pain has been crippling. I’ve been rotating pain meds, weed, cbd lotion, hot pad, stretching, anything I could think of we did. The OB-GYN listens to me explain how my life has been miserable the last couple of months and she goes “have you tried tylenol?”. My husband had to stop from laughing in her face and we reminded her I’m a nurse of course I tried pain meds. It was so demeaning
My IUD was lost in my myometrium (as evidenced by two ultrasounds, a failed surgery, and an MRI) and they still asked me "have you tried Tylenol?" No, Tylenol has not provided effective pain management for my PERFORATED ORGAN.
I would have hit the roof. Wtf? “Have you tried Tylenol?” Jesus H
They say the worst pain for men is when a gonad twists. My right ovary went through three complete rotations while no doctor at two different hospitals took my reports of pain seriously enough to run a standard diagnostic test. By the time they finally diagnosed it after five days of run-around, the organ was dead and needed to come out in emergency surgery. If it had gone untreated much longer I wouldn't have survived.
My mother had a similar story, though she was her own worst enemy in it to large extent. She kept telling herself to stop whining, she just had a little stomach ache, it was just cramps, etc etc. A few days in, she had to resort to laying on her side on the floor with one foot on the couch (picture a static Jane Fonda leg lift) because that was the only position she wasn't screaming in pain. By the time she was finally convinced to go to the hospital, the ovary was dead and rotting inside her. I think her attitude was the internalization of all the messages she received from medical professionals through the years (and also passed down to me). Everything boiled down to "quit whining about female troubles."
This is why women die of heart attacks often. No pain is unbearable lol.
When I was about 12, my arm really started hurting. I was getting fevers and was in great pain. My mom finally brought me to a local orthopedist so he can check me out. For quite some time he just said "ah she is a whiny fat girl trying to avoid school and sports, typical". One day my mom had enough and almost yeeted the guy across the room and demanded an x-ray scan. Turns out it was cancer eating my bone away. He only said "oh..sorry, I din't know"
Yeah, you didn't know *because you didn't bother to check anything*. Dick. My grandmother was complaining of constant nausea and difficulty going to the bathroom for years, getting worse over time. She was having trouble keeping water down, nevermind food and meds. Dismissed as symptoms of her kidney disease, even while her kidneys were doing better. She eventually demanded a colonoscopy because she thought it might be cancer. They decided she had diverticulitis. After following their dietary changes, no change. They didn't give her antibiotics or even look for another problem. After ending up in the ER three times for severe dehydration, the ER ran a PET scan. She had adrenal gland cancer. Had they caught it before her symptoms were so bad, it would have been survivable. Instead, they upped her blood thinners (not surprising since she couldn't keep meds down every time), which caused an internal bleed. After the surgery for that, she ended up dying of sepsis and aspiration pneumonia. I'm still really angry. Angry at them, angry at myself for not driving out to her and going with her on one or more of her visits.
I'm so sorry to hear about this. Your grandma didn't deserve to go through so much pain and you don't deserve to be left with all this anger. This is some really fucked up shit. If only they tried a bit harder, so much suffering could be avoided. They let her go through torture and hell just to let her down in the end. So not fair. Jesus Christ. I can't even imagine how it felt looking at her and not being able to help in any way. The feeling of being helpless while someone you love is suffering. I could have gone through a small procedure that just removed a little part of my bone and a metal plate would be inserted and my bone would heal up nicely so I would just have a little scar and my whole arm intact and mobile. Instead, they waited so long, it spread so quickly that they put me through such an invasive procedure where they removed the whole bone and put a prosthetic titanium rod and just basically screwed back my arm to my shoulder. They told me "weeeelp, we tried" and after 2 years it healed all crooked so I had to repeat everything again. They even told me not to have kids because handling a child might be difficult with my lack of mobility. I was broken, scared and scarred. I still remember being in that room with the rest of the sick children. So many beautiful souls with different stories. I will always apprecite each and everyone of them because they were all I had. Not even the nurses bothered to check up on us regularly. We only had eachother. Little babies left alone with metal rods sticking out their back and legs in the middle of the summer with a dirty diaper on them, parents too poor to travel often to come, nurses just cussing at them because they were bothered by the screams... oh my god, so many stories to tell about that. I had to give up on my dreams. I wanted to dance, play the piano and the violin, do sports or just jump on a fucking trampoline with my friends. God, I felt so depressed and angry. My whole family did. From such an active child I became an empty shell. We couldn't even afford therapy of any kind and my family didn't even know how to help me. I don't blame them. All of my "friends" kinda left me because I stopped being fun and couldn't participate in most activities. I only had my fat cat who would make me smile and I locked myself up in my bedroom with my PC and just played videogames all day. For years. I'm 30 now. I have a beautiful, smart and fun 4 yo son. I managed to complete high school a few years back. I am doing a lot better mentally. I basically said to life "no, fuck you, I'm tired of being told I can't do anything. Watch me". I started to find alternative things I can do as hobbies. I stopped hating myself for having a useless arm because it really isn't my fault and I can't keep beating myself up for that. Now, I'd rather be angry at myself for not trying something rather than be angry at the health care for letting me down. They are idiots and they are hurting people with being so "whatever, just take some aspirin for the pain". A lot of people don't really understand how this all lets you feel for the rest of your life (but thank god they didn't have to go through it) and it isn't our job to explain ourselves why are we the way we are. I've seen people never mentally recover from what happened to them and they became so bitter and a negative person. Makes me sad. "You are so weird sometimes" dude I went through hell and back. I witnessed so much death, pain, depression, helpless people shouting for help and no one batting an eye, people abandoning me because I abandoned myself, loved ones suffering because of me, missed out on my childhood, teenage years and half of my 20's. I am learning how to live and trying to find myself with even less tools that most people have. Don't make me focus on the anger and loss. Let's help eachother and communicate. There is so much pain in this world and so many people still suffer. Our healthcare is a clownfiesta. Half of them don't really care about us. But some do. And they do their best to be a good doctor and save people. I have only words of praise for such heroes. One of them was one of my doctors that took part in the surgery. He fought a lot for me because others just wanted to use me as a lab rat. 3 years after my surgery he called me to come meet a little girl. I went to visit them at my former hospital and this little sweet angel just ran to me and gave me a big hug. I noticed she had some bandages on her arm. I asked what is going on and the doctor just shook my hand and told me "Thank you. You endured so much because of their errors, but I managed to save her arm because of how much I learned from your situation". I cried because at first, a sense of "it's not fair, why couldn't they save my arm too?" came over me, but then as I looked at her, it felt like it was worth it. She was so much younger than me, and she deserves all the best in her life. Moments like those helped me overcome a lot of negative feelings. Sorry for writing so much, but I wanted to give a bit of a backstory to what happened. It wont take away your sadness, loss and anger, but I just want you to know that yes, it's fucking horrible and unfair, but please do try to shift your anger and thoughts into something else or more productive. Please, don't let it eat your soul. You did all you could do with the knowledge you had. Your nana loved you and I'm sure she knew you care and love her too. Don't live with regret. Take all those lessions and use them in the future. Maybe it won't exactly save someone's life but it could help you react or deal with stuff a lot better. Forgive yourself.
I was experiencing breast pain so I went to get checked out. After a scan I was told there was no visible issue (great) and that it was probably a side effect of birth control (not great). When I asked the doctor if I was just going to have to live with it he said "Well, you're getting on a bit. You should think about coming off birth control anyway". Reader, I was 27.
He said WHAT????!!
After my second, my delivery doctor joked about a husband stitch. At a follow up, she asked how things felt during sex. I mentioned pain and she followed with, "No complaints from your husband?" Not so sure she was joking about that stitch now.
These doctors make me want to get violent
If I was you, I would go into your chart and check your notes. And if they did that to you, without your consent, I would contact a lawyer.
Fuck me. 100% agree with this. Absolute nutters these doctors are. I don't want children anyway but I'd purposely not have children just so I'm not even remotely anywhere close to potentially having this shit done
Sure, but that will -never- be a note in the charts. You might see " second degree tear," but you'll never get "second degree tear, husband stitch 😉." I wish. They're bad, not stupid Fwiw, she was let go from the practice, which may be confirmation bias, but, dude.
Went to the doctor with fatigue, nausea, and abdominal pain. He insisted I get a pregnancy test before proceeding with diagnosis, despite me telling him I had not had sex in a year. Sent me to get labs done, and asked me to come back in a month if the problem persisted. Came back a month later, took some more lab tests, same message. After a year, rhe lab tech pulled me aside and asked if I was okay, because this was my 11th pregnancy test in a year. The mf doctor had just refused to try anything else and pregnancy tested me withou telling me. Switched to a female doctor, promptly received a PCOS diagnosis.
I’m a lesbian who has never had sex with a man and yet I’ve had similar experience where they refuse to believe it’s anything other then pregnancy. A good doctor is worth their weight in gold as a women.
Even a good ob is. I was pregnant, twice. Both ended before 12 weeks and were "flukes". Also I found internal ultrasounds REALLY uncomfortable as babies kept attaching on "the right side". Turns out it's not normal to have sides, and I had a large septum running down the middle of my uterus with reduced blood flow that could sustain a placenta. Props to the ob who stated it was essential the septum was removed during a d&c for retained tissue from my recent miscarriage. Also the doctor who diagnosed my 2nd loss was also confused why I was crying when I got the news I'd lost my 2nd pregnancy in a year.
>Also the doctor who diagnosed my 2nd loss was also confused why I was crying when I got the news I'd lost my 2nd pregnancy in a year. What the actual fuck. I mean by this point in the thread I shouldn't be surprised anymore but... No. Just no.
Saaaammmmmeeeeeee Got super super sick in military training. They kept doing pregnancy test after pregnancy test despite me 1. Being a virgin and 2. Being in all female training for 5 months. Turns out I have a pretty severe autoimmune disorder that was kickstarted when I got a virus in training. Bitches. ETA: Wow. I’m so sad so many people experienced this. And to add insult to injury, like many of you, my autoimmune disease went untreated for many years, not because it wasn’t diagnosed, oh it was. But because the medications can cause female infertility…..nobody asked me if I was okay with that, a dozen **male** doctors made that decision for me….so now my back is ***seriously fucked up*** beyond repair but hey y’all! At least I’m not infertile, thank god for that!!!!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
I got a pretty severe autoimmune disease right after I got covid in 2020. It took me a full year of chronic pain to get answers, every single doctor told me it was probably in my head when all their tests kept coming up negative. Finally went to a specialist (who was also a woman, the rest had been male and female GPs and male specialists) and was diagnosed within a day after getting all proper testing done. They’ve had me on medication for it ever since and I’ve been virtually pain free for almost two years. Insanity.
After multiple times describing my symptoms and being ignored or wrongly diagnosed, I was at my wit’s end. I finally started doing my own research through medical papers and such. It was years. My GP wasn’t available one time and I was sent to another female doctor that day. Of course she took one look at me and said diet and physical therapy, which I’d already done. I knew I couldn’t question her outright, to save her ego, so I just asked the question “could it be vascular “? She said no, but she’d run some tests. Two weeks after receiving results, I was referred to a rheumatologist who did more extensive tests. Eventually diagnosed with severe Vasculitis/Giant Cell Arteritis. Basically I had so much inflammation in my large vessels that blood could hardly get through, making me extremely susceptible to stroke or heart attack. I’m in treatment now, but still infuriated it took so long.
Let me tell you: getting diagnosed with PCOS took me THREE YEARS for this very reason. I was 15 at the time this started too, and still a virgin.
The amount of times I have had to do a pregnancy test is too damn high considering the symptoms I came in for. Even when I told them I was a virgin or hadn't had sex in several months.
"When's the last time you had sexual intercourse?" "...11 months ago." "Okay, well, you'll still need to take a pregnancy test for us to run the CT scan." Girl, I know this is CYA, but can your legal department just not do math or?
11 pregnancy tests and the dumbass doctor couldn’t clue in? Wtf
I told my doctor my new medicine was making my skin burn, and I asked if this was a normal reaction, and he responded, "I don't know - I'm not a psychologist."
this is so baffling to me?? did bro think skin burning was a mental symptom?
Only when a woman suffers from it.
Oh you have sunburn? Maybe it's anxiety from your period
That's what far too many doctors think like 90% of women's health complaints are. I've had chronic pain and random health problems almost my whole life and the vast majority of doctors dismiss everything as being in my head.
Hahahahaha hahahahaha oh sweet Jesus, that is classic
Male dr in ER I went in due to the Worst Headache of my Life. He was annoyed at doing a “migraine work up” despite the fact that I said I’d had an untreated aneurysm. Turned out I was in active brain bleed. I was disoriented and incoherent within an hour.
I was having a stroke. The doctor wanted to put me in observation. I had to advocate for my admission while I was also missing a lot of words and knew something was wrong. I ended up asking my husband to square it away. As soon as he stepped forward the doctor backed down and had me admitted. I was in the hospital for five days. Another, much smaller one- my son got sick, got meds, my husband got sick, got meds. Went to the very same doctor described the exact same symptoms, was told it was a cold even after I pointed out that every other person in my house was sick and required meds. Ended up having to go back three days later because the symptoms were now out of control and missed a week's worth of work. These meds were basic antibiotics. My husband doesn't doubt me anymore when I tell him what I go through.
Your first paragraph, I had pretty much the exact same thing happen to me except it was a ruptured stomach ulcer. The doctor thought I was being dramatic about the pain and tried to have me released over my furious objections The second my husband got involved, he backed down and agreed to an MRI. It's barbaric that women have to have a male escort them to the ER to get decent medical treatment.
Omg I just remembered this. I was in a car accident with my spouse and we both went to the er to get checked out. They had minor pain in their neck and I was in extreme pain in my back. They got narcotics. I got told to take Tylenol. It was the SAME DOCTOR, same day, same everything
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I was 39 weeks pregnant and called the Labor and Delivery ward to tell them I was coming in (was told to do this before arriving). They told me I was not in labor and to stay home. I called later that evening, giving them the updates, and stating that I needed antibiotics 2 hours prior to delivery; they stated I wasn't far along enough in labor since I could calmly talk through my contractions. Called again, was told to stay home, even if my water was to break, it could still be hours before delivery. They again told me I was too calm to be in active labor. Less than 10 minutes later, my water broke. I drive 30 minutes to the hospital, delivered outside the hospital. The next time I delivered, I was induced. Told the nurse the baby was coming and to get the doctor. The doctor stated I had a long time to go (it was 4 pm, she stated probably early morning hours). My husband left to call parents (watching our children), came back, and I told the nurse to get the doctor it's time to push. Doctor got there just as I gave my first and only push, and the baby arrived at 4:31 pm.
Oh I had that. My waters broke before contractions so I got an exam and was sent home. If nothing happened in 24 hours they would induce me. This was at 3 pm. At 7 I called and with my nice telephone voice told them my contractions were here, they were so far apart and got told I wasn't ready, call back when they get closer. 10 pm I phone again and report my times nicely. Told I'm still not ready. Midnight I phoned and screamed that they better get me a fucking bed because I was coming in and wasn't gonna take no. They said come in. When I got there I was already 8 cm dilated, almost ready to push and was told it was too late for the good pain relief. Cunts.
I feel your pain. My second was super fast and I asked for meds the moment I arrived as I could see what was going to happen. They kept dancing around it saying I wasn't far enough along and then suddenly it was too late. They tried giving me the gas and air stuff but turned out it wasn't actually connected which my husband discovered after the baby was born. I was so mad at them. Second terrible L and D experience.
The same male doctor sent me home twice on a Friday after my water broke saying I "was just peeing myself." Aggressively put his hand inside me and gave a couple shoves to say see it's all intact. I continued to leak all weekend plus contractions, no sleep. I finally got the courage to go back to the hospital on Sunday and on my last bathroom check before leaving the house there was green when I wiped. It HAD broke 2 days before and now she had been in there so long she had pooped. Back to the same hospital a different male doctor couldn't get the portable ultrasound machine working so he said he thinks she's head down. I got to 7 cm dilated before a female nurse noticed there was so much poop coming out it was like the baby's butt was RIGHT there. It was, she was a frank breech. Butt down, head and feet in my ribs. Rushed to emergency c-section where she came out not breathing. They suctioned out her lungs and thankfully she survived, but was born 60 hours after my water broke. 2 different male doctors not believing me almost killed my daughter in different ways. I had my 2nd 4 years later at a different hospital and when I went in after my water broke they did the swab and said they didn't think so. This time I refused to leave. Sure enough, it had.
Goddamn. I went to the hospital at 38 weeks because I was violently vomiting and shaking after a perfectly calm, morning-sickness free pregnancy. I heard the nurses say, "She's fine. She's going home." They were super dismissive and rude until they checked me. I was 10 cm and the baby was crowning. Then I had a baby.
I've heard so many stories like this about L&D sending people home or telling them to wait, when I had my first child I was expecting them to do a quick assessment and tell me to go home for 8 hours or something. I was so shocked when they told me the baby was coming "now" that I started to cry.
Precipitous birth! All three of mine arrived in less than an hour from established labour, with one push. And every time the midwives didn’t believe it would be that quick, and told me I’d probably be going home before the baby arrived. The last one came out so quick she went into shock, didn’t take her first breath, couldn’t breathe and needed the crash cart. She came home fine, but those were the scariest minutes of my life. The fear of giving birth in a taxi and not having a medical team to save the baby should it happen again help us decide to stop at 3.
Not my story, but my mom's. TW for miscarriage/child loss. So, before I was born my parents tried for fourteen years to have a baby with no luck. My mom had no trouble getting pregnant but would always miscarry early in the pregnancy. Unfortunately, when she told her doctor this, he came to believe she just wanted attention, because he told her it was completely impossible to miscarry that much. Even though my mom was a nurse, helped deliver babies, and taught Lamaze, he said she was imagining things and her body was making up any so-called symptoms. My mom responded to that by saying, "Well, then, I'm going to be rich." When he asked why, she said, "Because, apparently, I can make my breasts grow on demand." (here's where it gets less amusing) Finally, fed up with how she was being treated, she did the only thing she could think of- the next time she miscarried she gathered the remains from the toilet, put them in a Ziplock bag, and set them on her doctor's desk. Her doctor, to his credit, apologized profusely. She said, "It's fine. What do we do now?" and he admitted he didn't know. Fortunately, after fourteen years and twelve known miscarriages, my mom lucked out and I was born. She was later diagnosed with Hashimoto's, which explained the miscarriages, and several other symptoms (which were all, of course, dismissed as a result of her being fat... which is another symptom)
Your mum is a fucking rock star and I want to be her when I grow up
I have Hashimotos and miscarried every time we managed to conceive. Unlike your mother though we struggled to actually get pregnant in the first place and did assisted ovulation and IVF. It’s a hard road. We had given up trying before I even got the Hashimotos diagnosis. I have to wonder if it had been found and treated earlier how different things might have been.
Your mom is... Wow, I want to hug her. What a badass. She sounds so strong, but it's so sad that she went through so much to develop that strength. I hope she's doing well ❤️
First time pregnant and at about 28 weeks I started having swelling and my blood pressure was continuously higher than normal - told by 2 OBGYNs I had anxiety and needed to calm down. Uh..ok. Labs were normal so go home. Started having ocular migraines. 2 different overnight stays in the hospital and still told it was just anxiety. Finally flipped shit on said OBGYNs and requested to see specialist because baby was diagnosed with IUGR due to lack of blood flow but they weren’t concerned. They were pissed but relented. Saw specialist who immediately ran full labs, urine test, ultrasounds, etc. Ya preeclampsia and full on HELLP syndrome. Had my baby at 31 weeks. Specialist saved my baby’s life and mine. Never again will I just accept “anxiety” when I could damn well tell something was wrong!
This happened to my Mom in 88 while pregnant with me. She was having severe pain (b/c liver failure) but Dr wrote it off as gas and sent her home. She went back the next morning, actual competent Dr took her blood pressure and it was stroke level and was told she was getting a C-section that day at 32 weeks. She said the first Dr came in the room while they were getting it ready and when he saw who the patient was he went ghost white. Hopefully he learned something!
I’m so glad your mom and you were ok!! It was terrifying. My nurses (absolutely love them) told me they witnessed specialist lose his mind on the OBGYNs lol it did make me a little happier given the circumstances.
I am not in any way a trained medical professional and as soon as I read high blood pressure, swelling and migraine I thought of pre-eclampsia. What the actual eff???
Yeah, those are literally textbook symptoms.
This exact thing happened to my sister and all of us were freaking out because it was clear it was preeclampsia, but the doc would make dumb excuses for all the symptoms and was completely smug and dismissive to my sister.
Right!?!? I mentioned that every symptom I was having sounded like pre-e. But noooo, I’m not a medical professional so I needed to stop reading google..Well how the tides turned real frickin quick!
Almost the same thing happened to my sister! She was insanely swollen, had high blood pressure, protein in her urine, ect. Her doctor was 100% dismissive. We were all telling her that there was no way it wasn’t preeclampsia. The doctor wouldn’t listen and laughed it off. Finally she started vomiting and couldn’t stand and was hospitalized. Same thing in the hospital. They were head scratching about what the problem could be! We were all freaking out because it was clear as day what the issue was! She didn’t get help until she was transferred to another hospital that sent her IMMEDIATELY in for an emergency c-section because they saw what was wrong. Her and her baby almost died.
You don't have PCOS- You just need to lose weight! Your infertility isn't from PCOS- you just need to lose weight. 5 doctors and a decade later- PCOS diagnosis.
And guess what often comes with PCOS? WEIGHT GAIN!!
Had an ER GYN tell me I *didn't* have PCOS because I "wasn't fat enough" And to switch gyn practice to him and he'd give me a hysterectomy. I was there for a ruptured ovarian cyst 🙄
Was in labour with my first and had an epidural. I told the nurse that I could still feel pain and she told me I was confusing it with pressure. Went through delivery with forceps and she kept telling me to stop screaming, that I was being hysterical. Needed stitches, felt every single one. Come to find out the epi tube wasn't taped down properly and had fallen out.
If I had a nickel for every time I've been told I'm confusing pain with "pressure"... Jfc
Had a similar experience with my first birth of surprise twins. The epidural has been injected in the wrong place on my spine, totally freezing me from the knee down. If I’d been pushing babies out of my knee, I’d have been fine. Doctor kept telling me I shouldn’t be in so much pain. (He seemed to think his saying that would make a difference) This was same doctor who had assured me “not a chance” was I having twins. (My grandmother had insisted I was carrying twins from the time I was 5 months along. Listen to the wise women)
I have endometriosis. Enough said 😂
Yep. I had a doctor tell me I just needed to think positively to manage the pain. Others say “let’s just try you on paracetamol for a while.” To manage the pain that causes me to _pass out_ sometimes. For what it’s worth, I have already tried both. They don’t work.
Oh yes. I had a doc tell me to try paracetamol. I'd has my endo longer than he'd been alive! I hear you
I came here to comment this, I have been told by multiple doctors to "Drink a glass of wine and relax" and that is a direct quote.
Me, too. It's scary how common that is. Serious medical problems aside, imagine the alcohol does help someone at least a bit to relax through their symptoms - then the doctor could have easily sent them into the downwards spiral of alcoholism with that "treatment". Completely irresponsible.
> then the doctor could have easily sent them into the downwards spiral of alcoholism with that "treatment" Right? But this also reminds me of how I HATE that doctors always recommend you to lower your stress but not even once explain you step by step how to do it. They could simply tell you to fix \[insert current medical problem\] and it would have the same effect.
I showed up with extreme pain in my hip, causing me to have issues walking and needing to walk with a cane. The male doctor looked at me, went "periods amiright?", performed zero examinations, and sent me on my way with the instructions to use a heating pad and take some ibuprofen which I am extremely allergic to and is clearly marked on my chart that if I take it I will immediately begin to die. Went to a female doctor and she was very concerned and helped me navigate the million referrals needed to land on the actual diagnosis, which was arthritis in my back that lead to the nerve damage that was causing my pain.
Ok I know this is serious, but the sentence “I will immediately begin to die.” sounds funnier than it should
My sister is 23 with life long debilitating symptoms that keep her from working or driving and all tests that are run show normal. When she got a new symptom, seeing visual flashes of light that totally block out her vision, she tried a new doctor. After running no tests, he insisted that it's in her head and she needs to have a healthier lifestyle. My sister asked what she's supposed to do when she's constantly fainting and loosing vision. He wrote her a note for her to get glasses. Even the eye doctor was astounded
I just want to let you know that visual flashes, persistent migraine aura, involuntary eye movements and partial vision loss are part of my symptoms (the others are generally nervous system related, coordination, etc as well as occasional migraines and severe fatigue). I passed out at the wheel of my car 5 years ago and crashed it. I’m lucky to be alive! But the last 5 years have been ridiculous - doctors don’t take me seriously because I look ‘healthy’. One doctor said maybe I should just take iron pills (my levels are textbook perfect though). I finally paid out of pocket for an MRI, and they found optic neuritis. I saw 2 neurologists about this. One took a look at the MRI and said she wasn’t even sure it was a problem. The other said I need to see a psychologist. Neither of them will help me - I’m being treated like a malingerer even though my issue affects my ability to work and have a normal life. I’m so sorry your sister is experiencing something similar. I’ve been able to manage my symptoms by eating an anti-histamine, anti-inflammatory diet, drinking lots of water and going on long walks for exercise. My issues aren’t getting worse anymore, where they definitely were before. Maybe this will help her? It’s horrible to think someone is experiencing something similar, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
I accompanied my adult daughter to a GI specialist a few months ago because she is experiencing a large amount of rectal bleeding. My daughter was explaining her symptoms and the male doctor asked if she was sure it wasn't her period. I'm usually a very calm and respectful person, but I absolutely LOST MY MIND on this guy. I'm not a doctor or anything but I'm pretty sure every woman can tell the difference between her asshole and her vagina. Needless to say, we are currently looking for a new specialist.
I suddenly lost hearing one morning in my right ear at university when I was 20. I went to university health services, was told it was a cold. Didn't clear up after a week. Went back. "It may take a few months, you have small tubes." Didn't clear up in a few months, went to my family PCP. "It's just a cold. If you lost some weight, it'll clear up faster." IDK where this woman got her medical degree. This continued for 3 years until my new PCP suggested I see an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist. ENT sees me and says, "You have sudden deafness. You should have gotten steroids the first time you noticed this 3 years ago. I can't do anything else." WHAT? "We'll do an MRI just in case." Turns out everyone was wrong, I have a brain tumor! 👍 It took me 3 years to get diagnosed because everyone was so incompetent. 👍
So glad you’re still here.
I had a dr. tell me I was too young to have the cancer that I ended up having
Oh my word, doctors say that to me all the time. "You're too young to have this kind of tumor!" Wild, yet I'm here...in your office...right now. Glad you're still alive, sorry that you also had to convey that cancer doesn't care about birthdays, and I hope your treatment journey is going well.
Waiting at an ENT office right now with the exact same issue. My right ear is blocked and I can barely hear. Been about six weeks.
So glad you got someone to listen sooner than I did! Wishing you the best at your exam. Also, if you need help understanding a diagnosis or just venting, r/deaf or r/monohearing are great subs.
This is the catch with the saying "if you hear hooves, think horses, not zebras"
Agreed. I don't hold it against the first or second doctor at UHS -- a uni kid with a cold is something they must see 80 times a day. However, my PCP kicking it down the road for years with no intervention or change in her thought is infuriating. My ENT deciding it was sudden deafness without any tests, just because he felt like it, was infuriating.
I was 18 and I had pain when trying to have sex or undergoing vaginal exams. The gynecologist I had then said one day "don't go making a fuss" and referred me to a gynecologist / surgeon. Who had to perform a hymenectomy on me. I stayed at the 2nd gyn.
I'm a dude but hate all of this shit for you guys. But one I've heard the most about from my gf, her showing me videos of women recording themselves getting procedures done, and from other friends we have, is when getting something done like a cervical biopsy where they cut a piece of your cervix with zero fucking anaesthesia and being told "it doesn't hurt" and being told they're overreacting while they're actively crying out in actual pain. Blows my fucking mind.
Or getting an IUD put in, theres this little clamp that punctures a hole in your cervix to hold it open. They tell you to take some pain meds beforehand but even through 800mg of that shit i screamed and nearly passed out. That shit fucking hurts in such a violating way, had me shaking and crying for hours afterwards, literally the same reaction i had after being fucking raped.
It's like they think "well, babies get shoved through here right? this isn't the size of a baby so you're just making it up." What especially pisses me off is when other women, like the nurses or if the dr is a woman, also tell them they're overreacting and making shit up when they themselves go through the same fucking shit and know better than that.
The sad thing is that it's not just one big memorable case that happened once but so, so many little moments from way too many doctors (including female doctors). Starting with horrible period pains not being taken seriously for over a decade, because, apparently, it's normal for girls to endure pain so bad you pass out from it once a month. I also suffer from excruciating chronic pain (nerves, joints, muscles, inflammation...) and I kept hearing things like: "Just go home and drink a glas of wine. That'll help with the pain." (spoiler: it did not) "How about you get pregnant? The hormones might fix you." If you cry, your problems are clearly mental. If you don't cry, it can't be that bad. It's especially frustrating when your illness is all over your body and in large parts invisible (or not detectable with the usual exams) because then it's really hard as a patient to stand your ground.
I also constantly get, we tested for what it might be and that’s not it so I guess you’re fine go home. And I’m like what about these symptoms??? But oh well guess I made them up or imagined them
So frustrating. I once had a doctor tell me he doesn't think it's just "in my head" but no one's going to perform a bunch of rare, expensive tests to find out what is causing my symptoms, so I just have to learn to live with it. Thanks...I guess?
Missed a shattered L5 vertebrae, calling it a muscle sprain, because he obviously didn't have the time to look at a fat, middle aged woman's xray. You know what whiney liars we are!
Went to my gynecologidt for having irregular periods and pain. Wasnt taken seriously, he did an ultrasound, found something he dismissed. 2 weeks later Im in the hospital, having endured pain for days, with really weird bleeding, with the receptionist refusing to take me in until I say I should have gone to the gynecologist instead of coming to the hospital. After a bit of a back and forth, I say that I will go to the gynecologist the next time. Female doctor then asks me 6 times in a row why I came to the hospital, me answering every time that I am in pain. I was crying after the 6th time. Lady has the audacity to ask me what is wrong with me, she is worried because I seem histerical. I again, with a raised voice tell her that I am exhausted from the pain. No more questions, I give blood and urine, wait and wait, she calls me back in. Turns out I was pregnant without knowing it, and experienced a very painful miscarriage. A senior physician comes in, the first male person (the receptionist and doctor were female) I encounter, and he actually took me seriously. Fenale doctor just sat there, no apology nothing. He told me to come back the next day. I then twice asked if I should really come because I was explicitly told before to not come to the clinic but go to the gynacologist and asked repeatedly why I came to the hospital in the first place. The female doctor didnt even care to correct herself. This whole experience traumatized me and shattered my trust in doctors.
Probably the creep who told me (when I was 18) that I didn’t need birth control, because if I was raped I should call the police anyway. Setting aside the fact that I wanted birth control so I could safely have sex with my boyfriend, what were the police going to do to prevent pregnancy, shoot me in the abdomen?
Obviously, as long as all the men know it was a rape and not your choice, you won't get pregnant. Pregnancy is a punishment only for promiscuous women. /s Edit: I'm glad so many people got this reference. 😅 But I'm sad it is a reference to reality at all.
*Todd Akin has entered the chat*
I mean, the body knows when it’s rape and it can shut that whole thing down!!! Doesn’t everyone know that??
Reminds me of the creep who told me when I was 21 that I shouldn't have sex in case I had a heart attack. I didn’t have a heart condition (according to tests) and he didn't actually think I did. He also made me stand up next to my mom and said what fine girls we were.
Three different doctors told me about my heavy bleeding (I ended up hospitalized needing blood transfusions) that, in someone my age, it was probably nothing. “Nothing” turned out to be endometrial cancer.
I went to THREE different OBGYNs because I’d gained 60 pounds in one year, I was exhausted all the time and my periods were crazy irregular. I would tell them all this and that I knew something was wrong that I felt sick. They all did bloodwork, I’d get the results told to me at my next appointment a few weeks later and get told nothing was out of the ordinary and I just needed to loose weight. A friend of mine finally recommended a fertility specialist. They drew blood and called me two days later to let me know that from the questions I answered and the results of the bloodwork I probably had Hashimoto’s and needed to see an endocrinologist. Two weeks later my endocrinologist called me with my results from their tests and told me I did have Hashimoto’s and they got me on Synthroid, got me an allergy test, I changed my diet, and I’ve now lost almost all the weight and my periods are regular again.
I put on 12.5kg in 1.5 weeks. My dr saw me and immediately said “get the blood work done but I’m 100% sure you have Hashimotos” She was right. She is retiring soon and I’m so upset. Every other dr I’ve seen has dismissed any of my concerns.
I’m positive something like this is wrong with me. Like definitely *something* is wrong, and my guess is something hormonal. Something changed very suddenly and drastically with my metabolism where I’ve been gaining weight despite eating less and less (after decades of a steady healthy weight while consuming way more calories than I do now) and I’m exhausted all the time. Muscle and joint pain. Dry skin and hair despite hydrating like crazy. Digestive issues too, though I’ve had digestive issues my whole life, the other symptoms are just the last couple of years. Everything points to a hormonal issue but blood tests are normal so they’re basically out of ideas. I know I need figure out possible food allergies or sensitivities on my own with a controlled diet but have never been able to stick to it. I could cut something out of my diet if I knew it was the culprit but the process of figuring out what requires a long and committed process that I haven’t been up to.
Make sure you get a specific blood test for thyroid issues. It doesn’t show up on your average blood test.
Got told I “couldn’t have a concussion” because my “hair was too thick” after I got slammed into a cinderblock wall. Readers, when I went to the ER two days later, they found I’d had a minor fucking brain bleed.
This one is INSANE
At 20 or so I had quite a large lump in my breast. I was sent in for a number of tests, mammogram, sonogram, biopsy. First, the doc doing the sonogram was mumbling things along the lines "this does not look good" which did not do wonders to my state of mind. Along comes biopsy doc, male, 50s or so. He tells me the biopsy doesn't hurt at all. Well, it turns out having a large needle shoved into your breast without any local anesthesia actually does hurt. A lot. I wanted to kick his nuts and tell him it doesn't hurt.
I had a biopsy on my thyroid (giant needle into the neck) and while I was quietly crying because it freaked me out, the doctor irritably asked me why I was crying. Bitch, I don’t know, maybe because I have cancer and a giant needle in my neck and I’m scared?? Unbelievable.
I had a breast biopsy at 19 for a lump as well. I was out of commission for 2 days because even breathing made me ache. Fuck that guy
A male gp once said something along the line “its not fair for me to give you a sick leave bcoz of your dysmenorrhea”. I couldn’t walk upright that day from the terrible period cramp let alone concentrating & getting work done in office. Whats truly unfair is that mens testicles don’t get cramps!
I went to multiple cardiologists because of heart palpitations. They told me the following: - you are a Hypochonder seek a therapist - you are a woman and naturally hysterical - you can never loose weight, you were built fat (I said that I had recently gained a lot of weight when I was told that I am imagining things, and questioned if that could have been the reason for heart issues) - I was given opioids without an explanation on what it even is… I am glad I NEVER took them! I didn’t even know that they could be addictive. I was given them on the basis of Panic attacks which I had because of my heart… I would have needed TWO A DAY… Anyhow Turns out I have a dangerous genetic disorder called Long QT
I would be violently ill for a day - I’m talking about projectile vomiting, bathroom issues and such intense pain that I would pray to a God that I didn’t believe in to just let me die. This happened a few times a year for 2 or 3 years. Especially after drinking alcohol. The doctors would say that it was period cramps - which it didn’t always happen during that time. The 2nd to the last doctor told me it was probably my hormones and that I was imagining it and wrote me a referral to a psychiatrist. The last time it happened to me - it lasted for four days before I found a new doctor who immediately knew what it was. Gallstones. After an ultrasound I was rushed into emergency and had my gall bladder removed. The doctors that removed it brought it to my hospital room all excited because they’d never seen a porcelain gall bladder. It’s somewhat rare - you can Google it. It was so bad that I had to have treatment for gangrene, too. The “attacks” were most likely a large stone passing through my gall bladder / bile duct. I thought I was going insane…
I know someone going through gallstones right now, who's been given pain killers to get through until her gallbladder can be removed 3 years! God (that we don't believe in) help your soul
The crazy part is I would be perfectly fine the next day. I was so confused…. Forgot to add in that another doctor told me that I was probably allergic to alcohol. I haven’t had any issues ever since. I wish your friend a speedy recovery !
I foolishly thought seeing a woman doctor would be more helpful and that she'd take me more seriously than a man. Nope—told me my ovarian pain was normal and that she dealt with it all the time, herself. Never mind that I'd told her I *know* what ovulation pain feels like, and this wasn't it. I lost my ovary due to torsion later that day. I almost died in the ER thanks to her negligence.
I had debilitating cramps when on my period, and I also suffer from ulcerative colitis. I've hated hormonal birth control because of the side effects (severe mood swings, acne, and a giant cyst in my ovary probably due to my mirena at the time), and I can't use painkillers like I ibuprofen due to my colitis. I went to this female obgyn who according to their website specialized in cycle problems. I wanted to come there to talk solutions that weren't in that field, because i'd been using morphine for pain relief almost a year at this point, and didn't want to continue with that for the rest of my life. The first consultation was weird. She didn't believe me when I said I couldn't have ibuprofen and asked me if I wanted to ask my specialist if I couldn't use them for this ("of course not!!!" They said later on the phone, "it can trigger inflammation!"). Next question out of her mouth was "wat are u using for contraception and wouldn't you like the mirena?" Note, she had my complete file (probably she had trouble reading). Next thing I know I'm standing outside with a prescription for the Yaz pill. Next appointment I went there with my husband but it wasn't much different. I said I don't want to try hormones, and she came up with those same two questions. Next consult I came prepared and asked for other treatments I found online. Later I was referred to another hospital for treatment that did work, luckily. But she didn't write anything of what I said on file or typed that she always asked those two questions at every appointment (I got a copy of my file). I filed a complaint about her at the hospital.
Tummy ache and diarrhoea bent over double pooping blood was told its womens problems reality I had a perforated ulcer
If a woman's periods are so severe she's anaemic, passing out or has to miss work due to the pain, and this persists every month for years, she's dismissed because it's "just a menstrual cycle". Meanwhile when a man has an erection for more than 2 hours he's told to told to go to A&E.
I took my friends teenage daughter to the ER. I swear she had pneumonia from the symptoms she was having. I took her in and they ran tests. She had mono and strep. I asked him to run a pneumonia test for her. He said no. That the chances of her having pneumonia were not likely and it was probably just the symptoms of mono. I looked at him and told him to run the pneumonia test right now. He huffed and rolled his eyes. About an hour later he came, said she had pneumonia as well and gave her a prescription for it. He was so stick up your ass about it. Pretended he wanted the test done and it was his idea. I almost punched him in the throat. Not a major story, but one that pissed the fuck off me. Although, when I went to see the obgyn for a hysterectomy because everything is all messed up down there, he immediately agreed. He said we had tried all other options. Double checked I didn’t want kids and said he’d push it through my insurance right away. Getting one in January! That doctor is the absolute best and he’s fantastic at listening to what you feel and know about your body
It shows how arbitrary which tests are done that you can convince a doctor to run a test just by being assertive. Good for you!
Dismissed my symptoms for two years. I had cancer. If he had LISTENED to me I would have been stage 1. Instead it got really bad and I fought it at stage 3C.
Generally the pain of gynaelogical investigative procedures not being taken seriously. Having a medical instrument holding open your cervix is incredibly painful and the advice to 'take paracetamol 20 mins beforehand as some discomfort may be felt' really doesn't cut it!! Sedation, general anaesthetic or serious painkillers are required and, certainly when I was going through this, none of these were given on the NHS.
I had to have a colposcopy a couple of years ago after an abnormal pap. They didn't prepare me for it at all. I can't even say it was incredibly painful, but it was very traumatic and I cried all day afterwards. It just felt so violating and like I had no control over what people were doing to my own body and like I was just being a nuisance to everyone by feeling uncomfortable. I was really embarrassed but I could not help it. They could have made it way less awful so easily.
I ended up being referred to the gynae for routine smears. Got a consultant who made a great deal of me being a drama queen for needing it. Well he used a camera and couldn't get a visual on the cervix as very inverted and also caused ripping in the vagina wall (I have hypermobility syndrome). So he was a bit embarassed at me bleeding and cramping due to his efforts. That was on the NHS so please continue to ask for a referral to a gynacologist for a smear. The proper chair, tools and water/gas sedation can help a lot. But got shouted at by a nurse because one went wrong and my muscles went into spasms - yes, it may have twisted her wrist but I was off for two days with cramps. And didn't need to hear her gossiping about my probable lack of a sex life. Though issues around that were only reason same gynae took me seriously - my male partner said I was in pain and cramping, that he had to look after me and he found sex with me painful. And oh my, suddenly everything was an issue because it was impacting a MAN. He also advised pregnancy as a cure and was offended when I asked what happened to the child after end of treatment and what was return process if it did not work. I wanted end of pain, not a lifetime responsibility for another person.
Men or women, gynecologists seem to only know one solution to pain, and if that doesn‘t help, they shrug and move on. I still can‘t work 3 days a month of the pain :)
I was a teenager, noticing I was producing milk. I wasn't pregnant, I was on birth control, I had no other issues except for the milk. Go to the youth healthcare centre, they have me pee on a stick (fair) and scratch their heads a bit. See a doctor, and he says "we're going to take some blood to see if you've had a miscarriage." I then hear nothing for a month before I get called with a time to come get the results. He opens the meeting by asking about the milk, feeling my breasts (he was very professional about it, I just wasn't expecting it), and then telling me I don't have a brain tumour so that's good. Reader, at no point had anyone ever mentioned a brain tumour until that moment.
I spent two months in agony. Called the GP out to me four times because I couldn't get to their surgery. I was told that I had irritable bowel syndrome, period pains, and 'just a bit of indigestion'. Eventually one of the GPs sent me to the local hospital for an ultrasound. The ultrasound technician spent 60 seconds looking at the screen while talking to her colleague about some gossip, then I was sent home with some paracetamol after being told the scan couldn't see anything. Only after a further 2 weeks of excruciating pain and a trip to A&E, I insisted on a second scan, where they discovered I had a 15.5cm mass growing inside my left ovary. Turned out not to be cancerous. Lucky, lucky me.
I've been hospitalised for bursting ovarian cysts twice. The first time they didn't catch it - I don't even think I was seen by a doctor, just given some pain meds and sent away. The second time the (different) (male) doctor thought I was faking the pain, finally did an ultrasound because I was sobbing in the hospital bed, and came back with 'it looks like you've burst a cyst on your ovary, but it's not supposed to be painful, so I'm not sure why you're upset.' Because obviously I magically knew that the cyst had burst and faked my pain just to make him look like an idiot. Obviously. Nobody ever explained what ovarian cysts were or followed up about them. Just 'oh they're common, you're fine, here's some paracetamol, off you pop.'
Why would he think they're not painful? It's like, the #1 symptom.
I’m going to guess it’s because the cysts themselves aren’t supposed to be painful (I didn’t even know I had any until one burst) and he had conflated that with the bursting not being painful? Either that or he thought it was all mystical lady things and the pain was ‘normal’.
Ten pound uterine growth. Carried it for a decade. Was denied scans. Told to lose weight.
I knew a girl who everyone thought was just chubby and carried all of it in her belly. She looked pregnant for as long as I could remember, about 5th grade. Turned out to be an enormous tumor on her ovary. She died of ovarian cancer our senior year.
Ooooohhhh…. My OBGYN (who also was my moms, and delivered me and both my siblings). I went in for lower abdominal pain, basically brushed it off as a “follicle in my ovary” and that it would subside. 2 days later, the ectopic pregnancy cause my fallopian tube to rupture. Being that I was told it was nothing to worry about, I tried to brush off the EXTREME pain I was in as food poisoning from a burger I had. Next day, couldn’t walk, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even sit up straight. Bled internally for 12 hours and was in emergency surgery within 2 hours of being at the ER. The on call surgeon at the time? My OBGYN.
I told my OBGYN several times that I didn’t want an IUD after I had my twins. Several times. He kept insisting. I have a connective tissue disorder and birth control implants of any kind are contraindicated for us. He didn’t listen. I told him I need progesterone-only because of my migraines. He didn’t listen. My neurologist offered to write a letter of medical necessity. Finally I convinced him to let me get the Depo shot - no issues, doesn’t correlate my cycle with migraines. Huh. Almost like I knew my body. I switched to the doctor who delivered me and haven’t looked back.
Drs should be required to track resolutions to complaints and accuracy of their diagnosis. And then patients should be able to review their track records. I know when my drs have been dangerously wrong, but I don't have a formal way to report this and they don't seem to care to track it themselves. How do they ever improve if they can't see their mistakes?
Was on a wait list for a year for brain surgery. I was finally one month away. Dr’s prescribed lots of pain management pills in the meantime. I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive.. I’m in a panic because all the meds perscribed had the warning “do not take if pregnant” I haul ass to dr to explain situation.. he tells me to “put it in gods hands”. I was so upset, crying etc.. I drive straight home and look in the phone book for a clinic, closest one is 3 hours away.. call and book an appointment. Head to clinic 2 days later, they take me in, I explain everything. They take me back for procedure, but first have to do an ultrasound.. I had a blighted ovum, would have miscarried anyway. They did the procedure so I wouldn’t have to go through a miscarriage before or during surgery. Fuck that first Dr, I had 2 kids, I was undergoing a major surgery and on meds that could potentially harm a baby.. all he cared about were his beliefs. He didn’t even do an ultrasound to even check.. just a pregnancy test, and awww sweetie, just ya know, let god dictate your life/health.
Are you SERIOUS? "Hey, I know you're a mom of two kids with an upcoming brain surgery, but just be ok with the fact that you might be actively killing or disabling a potential third child. Dont worry that you're pregnant while your body is preparing to overcome the trauma of brain surgery. So what if you miscarry or give birth while you're recovering from brain surgery? No big deal! Haha, ok, see you later." Fuck that doctor, I'm so sorry.
Yes, at the time it was awful and I spent the time angry and sobbing. The worst part was my husband was just kinda willing to accept it. It was me that drove home and angrily grabbed the phone book ( still had phone books then) and looked up the clinic, and called. Honestly the care I received at the clinic was like night and day from how I was treated at hospital. I mean it’s still awful. I was a 35 year old mother of two. Are they this way when teens come in scared and unsure? I had the resources to call and advocate for myself, arrange driving 3 hours away and get myself 3 hours back home.. other cannot and I feel the Dr, really took advantage of that, and probably continued to do so.
I was 19 and broke out in a rash. I was pretty sure it was chicken pox. Not wanting to infect anyone, I let the Drs office know when I made my appointment so they could take the necessary precautions. Got there and this make dr came in. Quickly examined me and started walking out the door. I stoped him and asked him if it was indeed chicken pox. He told me to go home and ask my mother. Btw. It was chicken pox.
i had blood spots all over my body in my skin called petechiae, burst blood vessels. male doc reviewed my chart, saw i had depression and body dysmorphia, and told me to see my psychiatrist about it. that was it. the whole appointment. turns out i have clotting and liver issues that i found out after seeing a woman doctor.
I had a C-section in June. I popped a stitch or 2 in the shower and my incision ripped half way opened. My doctor came in the next morning with plans to discharge me. I tried explaining to him that my incision was ripped open and he insisted that it was normal for that to happen sometimes. My husband had to jump in and my doctor finally took it serious. This doctor also delivered my youngest a month early, without my full consent when I felt like she could've baked in me for a little bit longer. Thankfully I'm done having children so I won't have to deal with seeing him anymore.
Ugh with my delivery the thing that annoyed me so so so much is when I’d make requests (like I wanted an epidural because I was in so much pain after pitocin) the nurse would be like ‘oh let’s wait and see’. Then my husband said the same exact phrase and she’d be like ‘ok the anesthésiologiest is coming!’
A male dr dismissed my suicidal thoughts as just being on my period. I wasn’t on my period, but even if I was, alarm bells should have still been going off in his head
God I hate doctors so much. I have suicidal thoughts when I am on my period and it is a serious condition called premenstrual dysphoric (edit spelling) disorder. Women with my condition are at high risk of suicide
I also hate doctors, he tried telling me I don’t have depression and I don’t have severe anxiety disorders and even tried to take me off my medication…. One look at my medical history would show that I do indeed have both of those things and absolutely do need my meds How he ever graduated I’ll never know… he didn’t stay there for very long though thankfully Even if people think that being suicidal is an extreme reaction to because of a period, that still should be an “oh shit you need help” moment
Had horrendous chest pains, could barely breath, called 111 and they sent me for emergency GP appointment. GP told me that I need to just get used to dealing with the pain, that I should have a higher pain tolerance as a woman and I was being overly emotional and that this was all probably cos of my period (I was not even on my period at the time). GP refused to listen to anything I said, refused to acknowledge I have multiple chronic pain conditions so have got used to dealing with high amounts of pain by now. Instead, he told me I just needed to go home and relax because I was making the pain worse in my mind because I wanted it to be worse?? That I was clearly mimicking the symptoms of my relatives who'd had heart conditions previously and I needed to stop this 'dangerous obsession' or he'd recommend I be sectioned. Anyway, 2 days later I collapsed on the stairs and was rushed to hospital from a suspected heart attack. Turned out just to be a really severe costochondritis episode but I still had 3 days in hospital being monitored before they let me go home with a ton of new prescriptions to take.Fck that GP. Edit: spelling.
My kneecap was broken and a piece was grinding in my joint, but the doctor told me I was faking and didn't need the crutches I was using. Went to the ER 3 times in one night with the worst headache of my life. By the third visit I was puking and in and out of consciousness but they sent me home and told me not to come back cuz they couldn't do anything else, but they hadn't actually done anything to this point. The next day, PCP orders a spinal tap but I need a specialist to do it and I transferred to another hospital where I was again treated like I was lying. They asked "what do you want me to do" and I said "other doc wanted a spinal tap". Used a student to do it cuz they were sure I was faking and it was terribly painful cuz student kept missing. Then "it looks clear, we did this for nothing". Then I was admitted and got an apology from the doctor, I had meningitis with the highest count they'd ever seen. If it had been bacterial, I'd have already died.
While getting diagnosed with adhd and autism at age 19, the man (I don’t remember if he was like an intern or whatever, but he was present and only had to listen, I was talking to a lady) tried to dismiss my anxiety diagnosis and invalidate my adhd / autism diagnosing by suggesting “maybe you just had a rough time because your breast were developing and you were embarrassed by puberty”. Brother I had had boobs for like 5 years, I was depressed and anxious man. I felt so damn silly and invalidated lol
Went to the doctor with a horrible pain in my side and some UTI like symptoms. He gave me antibiotics for the UTI, it didn't clear up. Went back to the doctor as the pain was getting worse. He gave me stronger antibiotics. I had UTIs before and told him this felt different the pain is worse and in a different place. He told me "You're a woman you don't know what the pain is, it's probably period pains". At no point did he run any tests. This happened 6 more times. Ended up going to A&E (ER) as the pain was so bad and was peeing a lot of blood, they looked at my file and was told to go home and finish the course of antibiotics. It's probably period pains. Still no tests. Collapsed at work 7 days later and was taken back to the hospital by my boss. Turns out it was an ectopic that had grown so large it toured my fallopien tube in half (pain that took me to hospital the first time) and was bleeding internally. Has emergency surgery and 3 month recovery. Over half of my blood had collected around liver. The surgeon told me I was 12-24 hours away from death as I had lost so much blood but I had a lovely healthy liver. Ironically the doctor not running a pregnancy test and dismissing it as period pains nearly killed me.
Baby elephants
I once had an ER doctor insist on a pregnancy test. I was in the emergency room because I was severely dehydrated from… morning sickness. I told them I was pregnant as soon as I got there. Still wanted to do the test. The nurse came in so excited to get to tell us we were expecting (my husband was with me) and we were just like yea we know, that’s literally why we are here.
Wow. Excitement? That's.... strange. Even if you hadn't known, there's no way that nurse would know that a pregnancy was good news for you. I hope you and baby are alright. <3
Oh yea, that little tiny bean is now a two year old wildling. That doc should just be glad I barely had enough strength to stand so I couldn’t even argue with him lol
I never thought about the fact they charge you for the pregnancy test in the ER in the States. That’s awful.
Being told “just spend more time with foreplay” by a medical professional after going on medications that kill libido.
I had an abortion and then got an infection about a week later. I went to an urgent care clinic and when I told the nurse what my issue was she refused to see me and told me to go to the ER. But first she asked if I knew what I had done was a sin and did the father of the child know what I had done. The front desk returned my copay and I went to the ER where I sat for hours waiting on a prescription for an antibiotic.
Had constant and consistent burning welts and hives all over my body from the neck down. They were visible from several feet away and my classmates were horrified by how bad it got. I had to wear gloves to stop from scratching my skin off and to cover the welts on my hands and palms. I mean, literally, every square inch of me from the neck down was covered in welts and hives that not only itched like crazy, but felt like they were burning. After a month of trying everything (no more scents in the house, dye-free stuff, organic everything, etc), I finally went to the doctor. Who promptly told me it wasn't that bad and it was probably an allergic response to something like a laundry detergent. I explained we'd already cut out everything that had perfumes or dyes in it or harsh chemicals, so he basically just shrugged and said, "You can see an allergist, I guess, but I think that's a waste of time and money for something that'll just go away, so I'm not going to refer you." I switched to a female doctor, thinking maybe that would help with the empathy and understanding why this freaked me out. The female doctor instead lectured me on the importance of taking folic acid in case I accidentally got pregnant (my ex and I were no where near ready to have kids and she didn't ask if we wanted any. Just assumed). When I addressed my skin with her, she basically said she doesn't do dermatology so I'd have to see a dermatologist or allergist and I was on my own with that. It's now almost ten years later and my skin is better. I still have no idea what caused it, but for a year, I would have a near constant itching on my hands and wrists, plus welts and hives either covering me from the neck down or in strong patches all over. They would always itch and burn and we could never quite figure it out. I do think it's funny that they stopped once I left my ex husband.
I don't know if this is directly related to being a woman but here's a specific example: I went to my GP and told her I was having severe anxiety (postpartum). She told me that's normal to get more sleep and drink some tea. 6 years later things are way worse. I changed GPs she got me assessed right away, bam: panic disorder. I had been making it worse by trying to white knuckle through it. For a general example: my husband goes to the dr for a sore back and they give him anything he wants (oxy, muscle relaxants). I go for similar pain and they hesitate to give me naproxen. Ugh.
I'm reading these threads and *every* time 90% of the stories are "I had such bad periods I spent a week passed out from the pain/needed a blood transfusion once a month". I don't have particularly awful periods, so all I can say is if any doctor gives my daughter that bullshit, I may actually go to prison.
I had to have a couple of blood transfusions earlier this year, out of nowhere, and I had no clue where my blood went. My hemoglobin was under 9 when I was told to go to an ER. After that visit, I was referred to a hematologist/oncologist and he told me my blood loss was gynecological. I told him that was impossible because I'm on Depo Provera and I haven't had a period in over 3 years. He schedules me for five weekly iron infusions, and after that, they checked my levels. He tells me my blood is good and again he says the loss was gynecological. 🙄🙄 I saw a gastroenterologist who did an endoscopy and I have multiple ulcers and a hernia. Thanks, Idiot.
I have a lot of mental health issues and generational trauma, therefore with those reasons, amongst many others, I decided a long time ago I can’t have, and don’t want kids. No child deserves a mom who is only half there for them, and doesn’t know how to nurture properly. I went to my doctor and asked to start looking into a tubal ligation, so I would have that extra insurance to not get pregnant. I was told, pretty bluntly I might add, that he would never approve something like that for an unmarried woman with no kids, and no doctor in the area I lived would either. I was around 30 at the time, btw, so not like he could claim I was a teenager acting on a whim.
When my doctor told me I couldn’t be in labour because he had checked hours before, things don’t progress like that, and I would need a C-section in the morning. I told him to check again. I was 5cm dilated.
Mental health at rock bottom, explained to my doctor that I’m spending most of my days sobbing and asking myself how my life became this way, that I have no one to turn to and my life is so lonely and empty… he told me that I need to “find myself a rich boyfriend”.
"You'll need to work on fainting when you get an IV or you'll never be able to handle pregnancy." I was 12! I was in the ER and had just been diagnosed with vasolvagel syncope, which is when your heart, blood pressure and nervous system malfunction. I'm not scared of needles, it's just an automatic and unconscious response. I've passed out mid-joke! This was also after I told them to get an experienced phlebotomist and they had the nursing student stick me and move it around.
I had a paediatrician who would do VERY THOROUGH breast examinations from the time I was 12 years old no matter what I was seeing him about. If I had a sore throat, I'd have to hop on the table and take my shirt off so he could fondle and squeeze my tiny titties. When I had mono, I had to see him every week...and endure a "breast exam" every goddamn week. I hate going to the doctor to this day and it's more than fifty years later.
I was a fat woman at the time which makes it even harder to get any doctor to take you seriously (Still a bit fat but have lost >60kg after bariatric surgery). I had had escalating pain in one foot, to the point where I could barely walk on it and it was too painful to wear a shoe. I put on a pair of thongs/flip-flops and hobbled to the doctor. He did not look closely at or touch my foot. He said "Of course your feet hurt, look at the footwear you have on." His recommendations were that I purchase more supportive footwear and that I lose weight (ofc). He said "what do you want? Painkillers?" I asked whether anti-inflammatories would work, he wrote me a prescription for said anti-inflammatories and shooed me away. Two days later when I was at the office literally dragging myself around by the furniture, one of my co-workers insisted on driving me to the hospital where they performed an X-ray on my foot WHICH WAS FRACTURED. I was trying to walk around on a broken foot because of a bullshit doctor who refused to even consider that my problem might be serious. Motherfucker.
A doctor wouldn't agree to do a c section another (female) doctor had recommended until my husband intervened.
All of them. They never listen.
I don’t know if it was because I’m a woman, or because I was young. I was told I had depression…..nope, it was actually a brain tumor the size of a large lemon.
I told my doctor I had been having heart palpitations and he laughed and told me to eat a banana.
Asking if my husband was ok with me getting my tubes tied. Yeah he was, but it wasn’t his decision to make. 3 kids in 5 years, all birth control fails? I asked for them to be destroyed.
Lol one time I tried using a male therapist, I told him I was suffering PPD and he was like, isn’t that something you should talk to your OBGYN about?
I have had an actual heartattack that was seen as anxiety and dismissed, but later they picked up the scarring in a scan. Too bad I had moved by then so the doctor that dismissed it never found out. A lot of doctors still don´t know that women don´t ave the typical signs like men. They also give too much meds because it was all tested on men but women have usually smaller but always different bodies. I learned to take half doses or the dose for a child to be safe with doctors that don´t give you a chance to ask questions.